i was watching monster factory and out of nowhere i remembered this game sherwood dungeon i used to play a lot as a kid, so out of nostalgia, i logged in and since i’m not really a creative person i tried to make my character like final pam, so i’m just chilling there and i noticed that there were like?? 16 people online?? so of course the only reasonable thing was for me to ask one simple question
you know, sometimes happiness is easy to acquire! you just have to look in strange places
19 January.I shall not be able to write so long as I have to go to the factory.
20 January. The end of writing. When will it catch me up again?
29 January.Again tried to write, virtually useless.
30 January. The old incapacity. Hardly ten days interrupted in my writing and already cast aside. Once again prodigious efforts stand before me. You have to dive down, as it were, and sink more rapidly than that which sinks in advance of you.
We walked to the factory arm in arm. A couple in love. Except this wasn’t the truth and as much as I could imagine it, I knew, it wasn’t true, couldn’t be with a husband back in Blighty. Jamie pretended to point out things to me, in the manner of a tour guide, and I feigned interest, stroking the outline of his strong jaw and grabbing at his arm, feigning devotion as best as I could. To the outside world, we were a newly-married couple.
I paused to glance into the window of a chocolatier, the display had seen better days I noted grimly. Despite the promise of delicious treats, inside the packages were now hollow, no more treasures left to bestow. In that moment, I wondered if that was a wider story for us all knee deep in war. Faded and hollow. Yet, in those boxes, promise was still possible. As terrible as the war was, it had give me a sense of purpose like no other. It had ignited a passion deep within me and now that fire was lit, I wasn’t sure how I was ever going to go back to my old life. I had lost track of time and where we were, engrossed I was in my thoughts and before I knew it, Jamie was talking to me.
‘Remember, I’ll keep the foreman distracted as he takes us around the factory. You sneak off using the agreed route. We will rendezvous at the front of the factory 20 minutes afterwards. If you can’t identify the bitter cascara on first go, don’t worry, we’ll come back, don’t go longer than 20 minutes.’ I shot a look of displeasure at him, reminding him of who was the senior in this operation and he glanced back at me sheepishly. ‘I’m sorry to be barking orders at you, I just don’t want anything untoward to happen.’
I took a long breath, letting it out slowly, all the time looking directly at him. ‘If anything goes amiss, you will have to just trust me to handle the situation. But above all, no daring exploits and breakouts.’ I patted him on the arm and led him through the factory gates.
It took no time at all for Jamie to introduce ourselves and the nature of our visit as representatives of his Uncles’ firm. The owner graciously welcomed us and began the tour of the facilities. As soon as we were near the easiest point to access the secret factory, I made my excuses and let Jamie carry on with the sales director. I glanced back and a warm sweetness swept through me. Physically, it wasn’t hard to see how this tall, broad man could be seen as a leader, but there was far more to it than that. Jamie had a way with people; he could instinctively give people what they wanted while maintaining a definite sense of himself. It was charisma itself encapsulated in one rather sweet man.
I turned the corner, and headed through a rather dank and dark underpass. The entry point to my destination almost in sight when I went head first into a large black mass. Taking a step back, my eyes widened with shock to come up against the very spit of my husband, Frank Randall. The shock of seeing someone so closely resembling Frank sent me into a spin. I felt as if I could not breathe and that the walls were coming down on top of me. I looked back up to see the subtle differences in face. Still angular but longer, a deeper brow and lines marking down his cheeks to give him a decided air of menance. It could only be one person. Jonathan Randall.
‘Madame. Are you lost?’
I filled my lungs as quickly and as fully as possible to give myself time to calm down and looked up at him.
‘My apologies sir. I got lost after a trip to the toilet and am searching for my husband. I think he went a little ahead of me. Could you direct me to the reception area? I get hopelessly lost most of the time.’ I attempted a weak smile and made my way back where I had came from but he stopped me and moved, like a cat circling a mouse. Forcing me to stay still. The SS uniform sharp and mass of black from head to toe, given his SS uniform, metal gleaming in the light. I raised my head, defiant despite how much I was in turmoil. I knew some measure of the man, by reputation in the British Army and by the physical evidence I’d seen on Jamie. As much as I could I wasn’t going to give him an inch. That seemed to please him and he took a step forward.
‘There is something… familiar about you. Have we met before?’
Luckily, we had never met, though I was sure that Frank had written to him around the time of our marriage. The best bet I had, was to stick close to the truth and to just look stupid. That I thought, I could do. So, I shook my head. ‘I don’t think so.’
‘Do you speak English?’ He moved into a languid and sharp English, and I caught him assessing my reaction. Keep close to the truth Beauchamp.
I replied in French. ‘My uncle was English. I am afraid that I am a poor speaker. Though, if someone speaks slowly enough I can follow it. I take it from your accent that you yourself are English?’ I paused. ‘How unusual to have an Englishman in the German army.’
He paused, a chilling smirk slowly appeared on his face. ‘What an interesting woman you are M. De Freseliere, or is it Beauchamp? The guard noticed how your identity card didn’t quite match the name your husband gave.’ More statement than question, more threat than musing despite the casual tone he used.
Bugger, I thought. How to get out of that? But before I had time to answer him, he continued.‘Please, it has been a long time since I have had the pleasure of the company of a woman such as yourself. I would be delighted to give you a personal tour of the establishment. Maybe some refreshment?’ Randall’s tone was pleasant but there was no real question that I could refuse his offer,. The man meant to keep me with him and if I was clever, this was an opportunity to take in as much, if not more than I would have on my own. I nodded. ‘Lead the way.’
He grabbed a young man walking past. ‘Run off and find M. de Fresliere’s husband. Be so kind as to inform him that his wife will be spending some time with me acquainting herself with our fine establishment. I shall ensure she is returned to him. In due course.’
I hoped above all else that he would keep his word.
The man blinked at the order being barked at him. Randall leaned closer into the private. ‘Now, lad, or there will be hell to pay’. The man jumped into action
‘Please.’ I added ‘can you let me husband know that I shall be home soon and am in the gracious company of Captain Randall.
1. Which book has been on your shelves the longest?
The French Lieutenant’s
Woman by John Knowles. I borrowed it off a friend when I was a bright and bushy
first year lit student and literally haven’t touched it because I spent the
next three years drowning in Chaucer and the last two years since graduating
avoiding all classics.
2. What is your current read,
your last read and the book you’ll read next?
currently reading the Spiritwalker trilogy
by Kate Elliot, I’ve just finished Cold
Fire and I’m about to start Cold
Steel. After that I’m probably going to read Six Wakes by Mur Lafferty (locked room murder mystery IN SPACE WITH
3. Which book does everyone
like and you hated?
Throne of Glass lol
4. Which book do you keep
telling yourself you’ll read, but you probably won’t?
Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrel, I’ve tried like, 4 times.
5. Which book are you saving
theory, Lord of the Rings. If I do
the masters course I want to do, I’ll have to read it before then as it will
definitely be a compulsory text, but if not, there’s…..so many fantasy books with
female characters that I could read instead!
6. Last page: read it first or
wait till the end?
It really depends for me. Normally I’m very much a ‘no spoilers’
person – but if a book is going in a direction I don’t like (particularly
romance wise), I may skip ahead just to prepare myself for inevitable
7. Acknowledgements: waste of
ink and paper or interesting aside?
Oh my god for me this isn’t
even a question. Definitely ‘interesting asides’. I love hearing about writers’
lives and writing processes. Like, I feel like the number of cats an author
owns is *incredibly important*. And did you know the Strange the Dreamer was originally one
book, and that Lazlo wasn’t the protagonist? Have you read N.K. Jemisin’s awesome
interview of herself at the end of The
Killing Moon?If I Was Your Girl
also has a really interesting appendix that I think really puts the book in
context. Gosh everyone should read acknowledgements literally everyone.
8. Which book character would
you switch places with?
this such a cool question!! I’m going to say Agniezska in Uprooted. There’s so many fantasy worlds I love but they’re all
pretty shitty for women, at least Uprooted’s
world isn’t! And if you know how the book ends, all of that scary middle
section would be so much more chill.
9. Do you have a book that
reminds you of something specific in your life (a person, a place, a time)?
Clockwork Prince will always remind me of my university interviews. I
stayed in Oxford for interviews for a week, and by the end I was exhausted and
stressed. But the interviews finished on the day that CP came out, so I bought it on the way to the station, along with
some super fancy chocolate, and then got on a train and read it solid for four
and a half hours. (It’s a happy memory, because I got in!)
10. Name a book you acquired in
some interesting way.
friend and I organised for Patrick Rothfuss to come to our university to give a
talk about his Worldbuilders charity (and writing, obvs). The reason he could
make it is because he was already at a fantasy convention in the UK at the
time. But the fantasy con had given him too many freebies to take back to the
US with him so….Patrick Rothfuss personally gave me 10 books, and heard
me screaming like a fanatic when he left the room to get his taxi.
11. Have you ever given away a
book for a special reason to a special person?
No, I haven’t, really :/ I’ve
given a lot of special people books for their birthdays, though.
12. Which book has been with
you to the most places?
Pierce’s Wild Magic series travelled
all the way from the UK to New Zealand with me, and I took them everywhere – on
the whale watching boat, to the Kiwi sanctuary, on a glacier……
13. Any “required reading” you
hated in high school that wasn’t so bad ten years later?
as an English lit student this is pretty much isn’t a thing for me. However, I read
Beowulf for my university personal
statement, as it was a compulsory first year text for the course I wanted to
take, and hated it, but when I studied it in first year I freaking loved it.
14. What is the strangest item
you’ve ever found in a book?
I really want to hear the
story behind this question because I have never found anything strange in a
book. Are you ok, OP?
15. Used or brand new?
is cheapest, tbh.
16. Stephen King: Literary
genius or opiate of the masses?
in protective foetal position on the floor and whispers* I have never read
any Stephen King D: D: D:
17. Have you ever seen a movie
you liked better than the book?
Howl’s Moving Castle is this, for me. And Lord of the Rings (the films have more
action, and less talk of trees).
18. Conversely, which book
should NEVER have been introduced to celluloid?
Fifty Shades of Grey because they can’t even show graphic
sex in a movie like what else is left??????
19. Have you ever read a book
that’s made you hungry, cookbooks being excluded from this question?
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, obviously.
Who is the person whose book advice you’ll always take?
1 Behind every successful man there is a great woman and behind every great woman there is a smart guy staring at her butt.
2 If you don’t believe in oral sex, keep your mouth shut.
3 Opinion is like an ass hole, everyone has one.
4 Avoid rape - say yes.
5 A mistress lies between a mister and a mattress.
6 The game of love is never called off on account of darkness.
7 Thou shalt not commit adultery…unless in the mood.
8 The best thing about masturbation is that you don’t have to talk afterwards.
8 Learn from your parents’ mistakes - use birth control.
9 Assassins do it from behind.
10 Chess players mate better.
11 Are those your eyeballs? I found them in my cleavage.
12 Good girls spit, Bad girls swallow, Naughty girls gargle.
13 Excuses are like asses everyone’s got em and the all stink.
14 Squirrel who runs up woman’s leg do not find nuts.
15 If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put you between F and CK.
16 Sex is the price women have to pay for marriage. Marriage is the price men have to pay for sex.
17 When I was born, I got a choice- A big dick or a good memory. I am not able to remember, what did I choose.
18 Never assume. It makes an “ass” out of “u” and “me”.
19 Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.
20 My wife is a sex object. Evertime I ask for sex,she objects.
21 Impotence: Nature’s way of saying “No hard feelings”.
22 If you think sex is a pain in the ass, you’re doing it wrong.
23 Her kisses left something to be desired � the rest of her.
24 Good girls go to heaven…but bad girls go EVERYWHERE!!.
25 Sex is an emotion in motion.
26 For sale : Twin beds, one hardly used.
27 There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men - don’t and stop, unless they are used together.
28 Anatomy is something everybody’s got, but sure looks better on a woman.
29 The difference between a husband and a lover is the difference between day and night.
30 If he won’t wear a condom, staple his willy at the end. That’ll make him think. Sorta….
31 I was so poor growing up … if I wasn’t a boy … I’d have had nothing to play with.
32 Love without sex is like cooking without eating, but be careful because sex without condom is like driving a car without breaks!.
33 I love you in blue. I love you in red but most of all. I love you in bed.
34 The most enjoyable form of sex education is the braille method.
35 Prostitution is a hole sale business.
36 Lets all be considerate towards animal and let all the cocks meet the pussies of their choice.