faces from the world

Idea for a game show: it’s a cooking competition with no recipes, just a lil old granny judge telling the contestants how to make dishes that have been passed down in her family from generation to generation. All the contestants have to follow along as she talks, and her instructions are super vague. There are no actual measurements, just things like “Add the basil. How much, you ask? Just enough.” or “Put it in the oven until it’s done.” Every week it’s a different judge with recipes from all over the world until the finalists must face the Ultimate Grandma™

A woman let her dog shit on the airport floor. So I shit on her plans.

While walking to my gate at LAX, I noticed a woman whose dog was in the middle of doing its business. The woman was loudly face-timing with her back to the dog, so I assumed she didn’t notice. That was likely the thought shared by the gentleman who tried to get her attention.

“Excuse me, miss?” he said, in a polite tone. The woman glared at him. “Your dog,” he sheepishly continued, pointing to the mid-poop pup.

The woman rolled her eyes and went back to face time as the man slinked away, seemingly embarrassed.

“Some people,” she bellowed to her face-time companion with no hint of irony, “are just so damned rude.”

When her dog finished, the woman started walking away, leaving everything right on the airport floor. Another woman tried to stop her.

“You’re not going to clean that up?” she asked, as shocked as the rest of us were.

“They have people for that,” the offender replied, disappearing into the crowd, as much as someone yelling into their phone can disappear into a crowd.

I stood near the pile and warned people to walk around it while someone else got a maintenance worker’s attention. No one said anything – we were so shocked that anyone could be that horrible.

When I got to my gate, the woman was there, too. Great – we were both going to Tokyo. When I travel abroad, I get embarrassed by other Americans doing things one hundred times less embarrassing than leaving animal feces on the floor of an airport. To make it worse, her dog was now barking at everyone who walked by.

I have nothing against people flying with their dogs, I do it often. But it is a privilege I take seriously. My dog is well-trained and behaves better than most people. He certainly behaves better than that a**hole.

Speaking of a**holes, there is a pet relief area inside LAX, past security, just two gates away from where The Party Pooper let her dog go to town. It didn’t matter - she was the type of person to litter three feet from an empty garbage can.

While her dog barked at the world, the woman had moved from face-timing with no headphones to listening to music with no headphones. I don’t like to throw around the word “sociopath” but I don’t know how else I could explain just how selfish and terrible of a person she was. I’d bet her car was somewhere in long-term parking, parked across three spots with paint on the bumper from the child’s bike she hit without leaving a note.

Everyone else tried to ignore her, sitting as far away from her as they could. I am not everyone else.

I sat down right next to the horrible woman. “Are you going to London on business?” I said.

“I’m going to Tokyo,” she responded gruffly, annoyed that I interrupted her DJing.

“Oh, I said. Then you better hurry. That flight got moved to gate 53C. This is the flight to London.”

I figured I could give her a little moment of panic as payback for how terribly she was treating everyone. I didn’t predict what would happen next. She grabbed her bags and her dog in a huff, and stormed out of the gate without even checking. She was so self-involved, she didn’t notice that the monitor at our gate still said Tokyo and almost everyone at the gate was Japanese.

Based on her actions, she believed me that the flight had been moved, so she’s also an asshole for not thanking me. “Some people,” I thought as I watched her rush away from the gate without stopping her, “are just so damned rude.”

The flight to Tokyo was at gate 69A, so the 53 gates were on the other side of the next terminal. And I felt guilty knowing she probably berated some poor clerk who had to explain to her that there was no gate 53C.

I don’t know if she made it back to this flight before we took off or not, but I didn’t see her board and I don’t hear her dog. Her missing her flight was not my original intention, but it would be a fine punishment for her being so rude to everyone and making a low-paid stranger clean feces off the floor. What makes me wonder if I went too far is the knowledge that Delta only has one flight to Tokyo each day. Whoops.

Maybe she can re-book on another airline. I hear they have people for that.

You’re in my arms and all the world is calm. The music playing on for only two.

A very rushed drawing for soriku day because to day was busy, but I desperately wanted to put something out today. I won’t let something as frivolous as an occupation get in the way of soriku day. nope.

10

-And Kal? That’s my name.
-It is.
-I have so many questions. Where do I come from? Why did you send me here?

The Apache Sunrise Ceremony celebrates a girl becoming a woman. Girls prepare for the ritual for six months or more. During the ceremony, which can last four days, the girls sing, pray, run, and dance, often for hours without stopping. Here, a girl from the White Mountain Apache tribe in Arizona is blessed with pollen, symbolizing fertility.

so I will stand by your side and we will face whatever is coming for you together

Actual things that happened in the Kingdom Hearts manga:

• The dusks like to fuck with Roxas as he sleeps. They draw shit on his face and tie up his hair.

• Kairi escapes from jail in the world that never was because Demyx was too lazy to watch over her

• Kairi escapes by communicating with Dusks through wiggling

• Kairi is caught by Demyx, to which she punches him in the face repeatedly. She then proceeds to allow herself to get caught again so Saïx wont kill Demyx.

• Xion and Axel find a stray Pluto and beg to keep him. Saïx allows this.

• Luxord becomes tiny in wonderland and questions reality. He then becomes giant and proceeds to flirt with the queen of hearts.

• Luxord can no longer enter the Castle that Never Was because he’s too huge

• Vexen makes a shit ton of clones of himself, most of which kind of just hang out in Castle Oblivion and harass the Riku clone.

• One of the clones goes back to TWTNW to get revenge against the organization, and ends up killing Xaldin.

• Yen Sid makes a sock for Sora’s Keyblade. It looks like Mickey Mouse.

• Xaldin has an existential crisis about dried fruit.

• Demyx and Xion play Twister

• No one pays attention to Xemnas during his monologueing.

• Xaldin eats a fruit that makes him laugh uncontrollably.

• Xigbar getting a cold is conflict

• Saïx is basically the entire Organization’s babysitter

• Marluxia and Larxene get KFC for lunch

• Sora smushes cotton candy in Seifer’s face

• Vexen, Zexion, and Lexaeus have a chore chart

• Luxord is legitimately upset that he didn’t get a dramatic entrance to reveal himself to Sora

• Marluxia has a cloud of flowers that perpetually floats behind him. The dusks hate him because they have to clean up the petals.

Just to name a few

4

yuzuru hanyu in the kiss and cry | yuzuru and 2017 worlds gif collection (1/?)

2

older!Corvo and older!Daud meeting someplace out-of-the-way for a smoke for @yellowcandy

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“世選はぜったい大丈夫だよ(^^)”

Today on ‘I’m Gonna Cry over Fanart’

Mess o’ Mine

Harry X Reader: Angst, smut

In which Harry’s stolen from you and needs to fix it.

Request? No

Part 2: Mouth o’ Mine // Part 3: Mind o’ Mine


The apartment is dark, lights dimmed so you can set the mood for what you expect to be an emotional performance. Your laptop is plugged into the television and the screen is flickering, splashing colors across your face from a product commercial. Harry is across the world, about to premiere a song from his upcoming album on a popular talk show. Despite how excited you are to hear the music, you’re still nervous for him, as you always are. There’s no doubt in your mind that he’ll smash whatever he performs, but he always seems to get in his own way.

Keep reading

WARNING: GORILLAZ ANGST

It’s gotten to the point where I want to listen to old Gorillaz but I can’t because it’s just too sad for me. Like, post Plastic Beach are just super sad memories. I physically can’t listen to old songs, like I can’t I will cry so hard. I’m crying right now. And don’t even get me started ON Plastic Beach. Broken? Tears. To Binge? Double tears oh my gosh. On Melancholy Hill? I’m on the floor sobbing. People that don’t know Gorillaz lore are probably like, “It’s just a song jeez” NO!!! DO YOU UNDERSTAND??? It was so happy before Plastic Beach. Muds was a horrible person, but at least he sort of got along with people. Plastic Beach is when Murdoc went insane, kidnapped a bunch of artists, we thought Noodle was DEAD, and worst of all 2D was forced to do vocals. I know they’re a virtual band but I can’t help but hear sadness in Damon’s voice in Plastic Beach songs. Like I just always picture 2D being forced to sing, and then going back to his small room and crying himself to sleep. And like, of course it had to be Murdoc who did that to him, the dude he trusts enough to stay in his band after he…..well ruined his life pretty much. Drove away his girlfriends, fucked up his face pertinently, and hit him. He hit 2D how can anyone hit 2D. HOW. He yells at him constantly ad yeah 2D was afraid of him but he still trusted him and wanted to be best friends. Literally all he wants is to hang out with Muds and get attention from him. Now it’s phase 4 and what’s happened? Nothing really. Virtually no lore whatsoever, and NO EXPLANATION OF WHY MURDOC IS KINDA TREATING HIM NICELY NOW. I want to go back to phase 3 honestly. I want things to actually work out, for Murdoc to try to fix his relationship not just with Stu, but with the whole band, and I want an APOLOGY. I would give so much money just to get Murdoc realizing he’s been a piece of shit to everyone and that 2D’s been trying to help him but he’s just been pushing him away, TO BE AN ACTUAL CANON THING THAT HAPPENS IN THE STORY. Oh and lets not forget, to add to all the sadness: Murdoc was treated horribly as a kid? Beaten by his father? And fucking raped at a young age? It scarred him for life and really messed with his head. I’m not saying this excuses anything he’s done to 2D, but I get sick of people treating him like he is an absolute monster. He’s still a person, and he’s had very bad things done to him. CAN 2D JUST SLAP MURDOC IN THE FACE AND BE LIKE “CAN WE JUST BE HAPPY PLEASE??” Yes I’m happy that Murdoc is treating 2D like a friend again in this phase, but it’s kind of bittersweet. There’s no explanation. Nothing from Plastic Beach has really been resolved, and there’s nothing that suggests they might have gone to therapy to fix their relationship. So far I’m not really liking this phase, I’m sorry. Just my personal opinion.

Alternate Ways to End Combat in an RPG

Hello, readers! At the moment, I’m super busy prepping a Lovecraft Legacies LARP event, but I didn’t want to fail to offer some DMing advice this week. So I grabbed an old article I wrote for the website GeeksDreamGirl.com. I wrote it with 4E in mind, but it’s lessons translate to any game. Enjoy!

Combat is an integral part of many RPGs. In some, it’s a necessary evil. In others, like D&D, it’s an exciting part of the game. Sometimes, the PCs are facing truly evil and villainous foes that need to be wiped from the face of your campaign world. Sometimes, however, you want to have a battle end in something other than a complete massacre of one side or another. What if the PCs are facing honorable foes who’ve been duped into fighting them? Or what if they’re facing foes who vastly out-number or out-power them? Is a slaughter the only answer? Obviously, the
answer can and should be no.

Here then are five ways to end a fight before the battlefield is drenched in the blood of one side or another. You can use these ways to keep a battle short, or to offer an alternative to simple one-
sided destruction.

A Fight to First Blood

If the PCs are facing honorable foes, or are fighting in a tournament, they may choose to fight to “first blood”, and I’m not referencing any cheesy 80s action films. In 4E D&D, this is an easy
concept: have the players and NPCs agree to fight until someone hits their Bloodied value, and use this as the threshold of when someone finally draws blood on the other.

This has a lot of basis in reality. Knights at tournament wanted to show their prowess at real battle, and first blood was a way to show one’s skill, but to avoid seriously injuring one’s foe. Likewise, a duel that was serious but didn’t need to be to the death would sometimes be fought to first blood. This served as a grim reminder to the wounded – I bloodied you once. Next time might be more fatal.

Holding Out Like a Hero

This is a particular favorite of mine. In it, the PCs aren’t necessarily planning on winning a fight, but only of surviving and holding off foes until a set goal is reached. This is particularly effective for when the king can get to safety if his loyal knights can last ten rounds of combat, or if a wizard needs them to hold until he gets six successes on Arcana checks. Combined with Skill Challenges, this can make for a memorable sequence. Skeletons will keep pouring out of the crypt until the cleric successfully re-consecrates it as a skill challenge of minor actions, or the room will keep filling with water that’s inhabited with shrieking eels until the rogue resets the trap mechanism. It’s up to the party to hold off the skeletons, eels, or what have you.

You can use this device to simulate a scene like Helm’s Deep. The PCs have to hold out a certain number of rounds until the reinforcements arrive. Especially in combination with an ever-increasing number of minions, this can give the proper feeling of literally holding off an army.

Cutting Off the Head

The orcish army feels unbeatable until their leader, Gruzhgarn, is slain. When the necromancer is killed, the undead crumble back to lifeless husks. The wolves will flee in dismay if their alpha is killed. If you make one or more of the enemies the linchpin holding the rest of the monsters together, then you can give the PCs a goal other than simply slaying every monster on the battlefield. Once the leader-type monster goes down, the rest will surrender, flee, return to their home plane, etc. I especially like the feeling of “kill the wizard and his minions will return to the Elemental Plane.” It’s something that makes a logical sort of story sense, and it gives an out to the players.

A variation on this is “this monster is invulnerable until condition X is met.” In my current campaign, a great example was Auntie Mengybone, whom I’ve mentioned in other columns. She was harnessing the life-force of a captive Arch Fey to constantly heal herself, making her effectively invulnerable. Several of the PCs with Controller-type powers kept her busy and away from the other PCs who were freeing the Arch Fey through a skill challenge. Once the Arch Fey was released, she immediately went into retreat mode, leaving her minions to fight the PCs. She didn’t escape, but, if she had, she would’ve likely become a recurring villain in the campaign.

Live to Fight Another Day

There’s an adage that most PCs would rather have their character killed than have them captured. I’m not sure what the psychology around this is, but I agree that it’s true. That doesn’t mean, however, that you have to have your monsters behave the same way.

I befuddled my players in my Eberron campaign by having the changeling villain they’d been fighting step back, go defensive, and offer to surrender, but only if the Lawful Good character
promised him mercy. The party was immediately suspicious, but they reluctantly agreed. This let me draw a fight that was already a foregone conclusion to a quick close and keep a valuable NPC
alive for a future sequence. And when the PCs found out later that he’d escaped the prisons of their patrons, they cursed his name – darned, tricksy changelings!

The other trick is to have monsters flee. They might be running for reinforcements, or they might be running for their lives, but sometimes monsters, especially intelligent ones, might choose to abandon a fight that they’re clearly losing. Earlier editions of D&D had complex Morale check systems to help a DM determine whether or not a monster would fight on or drop their weapons, but, nowadays, story is the arbiter of such a decision.

Stop. Just Stop.

I would never suggest that you should declare a fight against the PCs and tell them they’re all dead. But good news! Your monsters don’t have any ego beyond that which you invest in them.

If you’re down to two half-dead orcs, everything else is dead, and the PCs are still in excellent shape, you can call that fight. Sure, the orcs might do a little more damage, but is it really necessary to eke every hit point from the player characters that you can? I think not.

Some DMs, and some players, don’t like this approach. They want to know exactly who did what, who killed whom, and noodle the fight down to each hit point. That’s not my style of game play. If it’s getting late, and I have an important plot point to make before game ends, and this fight is slowing me down, I’ll sometimes call a fight once it’s clear how unlikely it is that the PCs will lose. “Well, the ogre has 15 hit points, and you’re all going to get to attack before he does. Unless you really want to know who kills the ogre specifically, let’s call it. Someone describe for me how the ogre dies.” My players were baffled the first time I did this, but they’ve
come to appreciate it.

In Closing

Not every fight has to be fought to the last HP. Sometimes, there are reasons why a fight should end early, and sometimes it’s just more convenient to move things along rather than dither down to the bitter end. Using this tool, you can make battles more about the story and excitement and less about drudging down to the last hit point.