facebook buddy

So yesterday my crush was wearing a tight dress and a peacoat with boots all Lena Luthor style and today she was wearing slacks that were ridiculously flattering in every way imaginable and some killer heels. And she walked up beside me to do some work on the computer and was like, “Hey Facebook buddy!”

My gay heart is not equipped to handle her very professional yet sexy attire. I’m weak.

What I look for in a guy: 

  • messy hair
  • wild eyes
  • jeans
  • likes to dance
  • lunatic fringe
  • dean ambrose
  • i’m talking about dean ambrose
There's a 99.9% chance

That I won’t be posting pictures of the baby to Tumblr because even password protected there’s no way to stop people from seeing content soooo….

If you’re interested you can catch the kids on:

instagram: worlddsokayestmom__

• my Instagram is private so if you request me message me your name or whatever to let me know it’s you cause I block about 80% of unnamed requests that I get

Facebook: you can’t add me on Facebook unless we have mutual friends so if you want to be ~Facebook buddies message me your searchable name and I will add you :)

Snapchat: mom_possible

• same protocol as Instagram, if you don’t tell me who you are ahead of time I will block you because I’m a biiiiiitch.

I’ll reblog this every once in awhile to make it look like I have active followers who give a damn 😂


1968 Dodge Charger R/T Avatar | Scott Crawford

i fucking hate facebook. no context but mark fuckerburg and all the fucking asshats on there can eat a bag of dicks. why the fuck would woolly mammoths “go against” humans???? WHAT THE FUCK BUDDY?? fuck facebook tungle is bad but still nicer than that fuckhole


1968 Dodge Charger R/T Avatar | Scott Crawford

Take a Break - Luke Hemmings [smut]

Requested - yes

Anonymous - “Ok so Luke is ur long term boyf and its all really cute but u havnt had sex yet, ur parents love Luke too, so basically u have loads of revision to do and Luke is sittin with u while u do it, ur parents r out, so ur gettin v stressed and then Luke starts like kissing ur neck and stuff while ur trying t concentrate and at first ur like no i have t study then he like keeps whisper take a break and just relax and stuff and after a little bit of persuasion things get heated and you do the sex xxxx”

A/N: This was requested over facebook by my bestest buddy mhairi but I had to cut around it a little.

Word Count - 688

Luke being older than you was never a problem before, in fact it was great, he was available to pick you up from school, he had an extra year on supposed maturity above you and all of your friends were jealous of you. But now, it’s different; it’s your final year of school and you need to get all of the qualifications you didn’t quite achieve the year before, and this time there’s a lot more riding on it because if you don’t get them this time around things could be a lot harder in the future. Studying all the time means that you have less time with Luke but that doesn’t stop him from hanging around when you do need to study.

“What subject is it today?” Luke asks leaning on your bed next to your piles of work.

“Luke,” you whine slightly, “You’re moving my work”

“Sorry,” he moves to sit behind you.

As you read over every word scrawled, highlighted or printed you feel Luke’s hands, not doing anything menacing or even sexual, just resting at your waist.

An important thing to note at this point that Luke has been hinting slightly at maybe getting a little more intimate with you, not pushing, he’d never do that, but just letting you know that he’s ready to help you take the next step in your relationship.

“Babe, I think you’re working a little too hard,” he says examining the almost permanent scowl on your face that is causing little lines  to form at your brow. “And I’m sure your parents would agree”

“They wouldn’t be agreeing because they actually think I’m working to hard it’d be because they’re maybe a little too fond of you,” you mumble. “Besides they’re not here to test that theory”

Luke’s hands move away from you and he falls silent which is both good as he allows you to focus but bad as you miss the sound of his voice.

Another minute or so passes and all of a sudden you feel his touch once more, dancing at your waist, followed by the feeling of his lips against your neck.

Naturally you relax, melting into him a little closing your eyes for a split second before realizing your mistake and sitting bolt upright, “Luke, I can’t, trust me I want to but not right now”

“Why?” his voice trembled down your spine.

“I need to study”

“Take a break,” he insists.

You shake your head and try your best to ignore him, failing drastically as every second that passes you feel yourself falling under his spell.

“Take a break,” he mutters once more, this time it is enough to persuade you.

You pile up your things quickly and turn to Luke who doesn’t hesitate in taking you by the waist and flipping you onto the bed. His lips press to yours letting his tongue cruise past your lips to mingle with yours. A slight moan leaves his lips when you roll your body against his. You run your nails up his back taking his shirt with you and pulling it over his head. Your hands run over his chest and one by one your clothing joins his shirt on the floor until you’re both in nothing but underwear.

“You ready babygirl,” he basically growls into your ear.

You nod, the anticipation only fueling the growing knot in the pit of your stomach.

“Use your words honey,” he says.

“Fuck, get on with it, Luke,” you try to demand but your voice only manages a whimper.

He’s fast to remove his boxers and your underwear. He hovers above you, one hand propping him up and the other at your waist as he pushes into you. You twist your head to muffle your moan in the pillow, arching your back/ His head rocks back and his eyes roll back.

“Holy shit,” he pants, breathing heavy and heart racing.

“Luukkeee,” you elongate your words. “I’m not going to last”

He nods in agreement but it barely conveys anything.

His thrusts become sloppier as you reach your high, clenching around him until he climaxes too.


A/N: I’m sorry, that was pretty bad

add me on snapchat - brodie5sauce

Masterlist // Requests opening soon

Someone up for late night talking, posting random pictures on each others wall and just being cute as fuck like best friends with a lot of distance between them?`Omg I need such a nice facebook friend, that can also expand into a letter and whatsapp friend. Like let’s be buddies and talk about our fav movies, bands, songs and just really about everything! Is someone interested?

The Wrong Places

I LinkedIn with an ex

Tweeted thoughts about another

Snapchatted a joke about a fuck buddy

Sent Facebook requests to new lovers.

I Google plussed a guy I liked

Put heartbroken thoughts up on Reddit

Instagrammed my self esteem

Checked my emails and still didn’t get it.

There is a chance of me

I mean a small chance if I face it

But there is a fairly good chance

I’m looking for love in all the wrong places.