face your food

The only one I can relate right now is Chloe flirting with the fucking turkey

@ all old lgbt people who want grandchildren but don't have any

i am your grandchild now.

spoil me. make me scarfs. bake goodies for me. send me money in my birthday cards. i, for one, am happy to shoulder this burden.

7

I am so happy with my bedhead this morning so here’s a bajillion pictures of myself plus my yummy double serving of oatmeal 

I am mermaid and I am a flower queen and I love oatmeal

To anyone reading this post you have just been blessed by me so smile!!!! You’re gonna do great things today, even if that just means waking up and having the laziest Sunday of your life! I love you all so so much <3 <3 <3

Imagine if the Fairy Tail boys were learning fine dining
  • Natsu: WHY DO I HAVE TO WEAR THIS FRIGGIN SUIT
  • Happy: why is the fish served here cooked :(
  • Gray: WHAT DO YOU MEAN I CANT EAT IN MY UNDERWEAR
  • Gajeel: WHERES THE IRON *starts eating silverware
  • Jellal: Erza I know you brought me out to eat here but I have another favorite restraunt
  • Elfman: A REAL MAN EATS WITH HIS HANDS
  • Mest: I wanna know what this spoon is for
  • Sting: M'lady
  • Rogue: FRO LET ME WIPE YOUR FACE YOU HAVE FOOD ON IT
  • Freed: Shall I feed you Laxus?
  • Laxus: sure we're totally not gay
  • Bickslow: I ship it
  • Loke: Ladies
  • Gildarts: Who needs knives when you have magic THAT CAN CUT UP YOUR FOOD
Here’s a list of what I’d like to do with you:
  • Hug
  • Go on walks while holding hands
  • Smile
  • Kiss
  • Cuddle
  • Wrestle
  • Pick you up
  • Put food on your face
  • Have cute little dates
  • Have movie nights
  • Tease you
  • Take adorable pictures
  • Play pranks
  • Go new places
  • Try new things
  • Fall in love

share your favorite things with the temporary people in your life
staple your favorite songs to the foreheads of people you’ve known for two weeks
dance around in artificial lightning and touch them for as long as you can
take pictures with disposable cameras, pin them to cork-boards and write down their dates
let them scrawl their names in sharpie ink on your wall, ignore when your mother gets mad at you for it
watch your favorite movies with them
kiss them during your favorite part
write down the taste
write down what you hear
fill notebooks with their sentences
take their hand and lead them to your favorite places
count the blades of grass under you
record the rocks
the tree leaves
the sand
the hardwood floor
read them your favorite books
tell them your theories
match them to main characters and laugh when they try to imitate their dialect
read them your poetry
whisper your favorite words in their ear
pass them notes with your favorite lyrics
give them tastes of your favorite ice cream flavor
promise yourself not to forget their disgusted face
at your favorite weird food
smear the color yellow into their palms
because it has always been your favorite
trace the lines that crack the paint
give them your favorite sweatshirt
let them make it their home
smell them on you the next time you wear it
let them enter your world and include them in your list of favorites
and
then

when they break your heart,
you will be forced to conform to the sadness you feel
you will have to turn off the radio when that song comes on and you see their smile in the melody
you will have to pay for a new camera
burn pictures and blame the smoke for your teary eyes
stock up on white-out and erase those dates
when they pass the next year you will stay inside all day and your hands will shake
you will have to paint a new color on your wall just to quit staring at their name while you try to fall asleep
you will paint three, four, five coats atop their handwriting and
at night you will still be able to see it
you will have to go to the movies and categorize new favorite scenes
when that movie plays on sunday morning you will taste them and it will taste like cold coffee and
eventually you will be strong enough to change the channel
you will tear pages out,
buy new notebooks
drive by your favorite places and don’t stop
you will have to read new pages
find new characters
its okay if you catch yourself running over the spine of the book you woke them up to read at four AM
buy a dictionary and find new favorite words
make up new favorite words and drop them into casual conversation
eat new icecream,
try more weird foods at restaurants you can’t pronounce
look at colors more closely and determine a new favorite
buy new clothes
ones that smell like mass production and the local mall
you will leave the world you gave to them
and you will create a new world
with new favorites
with new songs, words, memories, places, books, movies, foods
with new pieces of you
and you will let someone new enter that world
they will tear chips of paint off of your wall
and ask you what your favorite color is
its okay to hesitate
say blue.

—  how to force growth / k.s
fwb; yoongi (7/7)

❝when you’re friends with benefits… and he falls in love.
►2909 words; series: fwb (7/7) 
♡ big thank you to my bestie for helping me on this - you the real mvp (you don’t read this but thank you chiews)

Yoongi takes to mind of the little things that you do. Whether it’s outside for a nice meal under the stars or inside the confinement of a coffee shop where they charge him for overpriced sandwiches. That smile on your face when the food tastes so good or when a track he lets you hear takes you over the clouds and high up above until your smile fades into closed eyes with an idly sigh.

Yoongi remembers the things that relate to you and he’s not too sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing. It should be good, no? Because then it shows how much of a considerate and thoughtful person he is but the more he remembers of you, the more he realizes he can’t forget and it embeds in his mind before he can try to erase them. A part of him doesn’t let him because it’s you, but the other part wants him to because it’s you.

Either way, Yoongi can’t bear to make a decision.

Well, not yet, at least.

Not with your cheek pressed to his chest, fingertips brushed upon his hip reminds him he’s stripped down to nothing with you beneath this blanket and the warmth of your bodies together as a whole is rooting him to stay. There’s a small smile on your lips as you sleep, of peace and clarity that he’s jealous. He’s envious of how you could just doze off like that, as if he doesn’t make your heart race like how you do to him. As if you’re not thinking of the many things he’s thinking of like do you feel the way I feel or is it just me?

Is it just me who fell in love?

Keep reading

HEALTH GUIDE

I know it’s hard to eat healthy especially when you may be unaware of your unhealthy habits. But here are some tips for skin care and eating right.

Exercise
I know no one wants to go to the gym in winter so here’s some simple exercises to keep your body right over the winter.

•10 sit-ups (work your way to 20)
•10 crunches (work your way to 20)
•20 squats
•10 push-ups
Do these every night before bed.

SKIN CARE
Every night before bed and every morning.
• Use a cotton ball to clean your face with fresh lemon juice. the lemon juice will even out your skin tone and get rid of dark marks (also good for bikini line). Rise with cold water after 5 minutes.

•Apply facial moisturizer lotion.

•Palmer’s coco butter oil will not only have you smelling like heaven but your skin will be as soft as silk. (use anywhere but your face)

FOOD

•STAY CLEAR OF BREADS AND PASTAS. If you’re addicted to pasta like I am try to eat smaller portions which brings me to my next point..

•PORTION CONTROL- A lot of us eat fine it’s just the amount we’re eating. Cut your portions in half. Your plate should be ½ veggies, ¼ grain, ¼ meat.

•Eat plenty of salmon, baked chicken, broccoli. And drink plenty of lemon water (it helps speed up digestion) (and just plain good for you).

I hope some of this helps!

thepantsofficial  asked:

I would love a sarcastic reading ❤️ What do I need to do to get out of this creative slump I've been in?

Have a spa day. Either at a real life spa, or at home where you can put cucumbers on your eyes without being mocked. Make sure to go the whole nine yards though. Mud on you face, food on your eyes, nice smelling stuff and whatnot. Keep knives with you so that people know not to interrupt.

Dating Jin Would Include...
  • this cutie wouldn’t know what to do with himself
  • he doesn’t really know how to flirt
  • so he mostly just laughs really loud and tells even more bad jokes
  • the boys want him to confess just so it stops  
  • one day he uses a really bad pick up line in front of the boys
  • to their surprise it works cause you’re a sucker for puns
  • takes you to an all you can eat for the first date
  • of course
  • he comments on all the food and keeps complaining that he could make it better
  • kinda regrets taking you there bc he thinks the food is rubbish
  • but hes just picky cause you’re in heaven
  • eventually jin drags you away with promises of better food back at the dorms
  • and he delivers on that promise
  • you both just sit there stuffing your faces with food and watching ponyo
  • the relationship is very fun
  • lots of puns and bad jokes
  • jin is quite handsy and clingy a lot of the time
  • whines if you don’t pay him enough attention
  • and he gets all sassy if you don’t give in to his every wish
  • does that thing with his head when he does it
  • u know the one
  • big baby
  • loves going shopping with you
  • adores doing little fashion shows for everything you try on
  • he insists
  • and sometimes it gets you kicked out of the store
  • but its all worth it bc you and jin are cracking up
  • also loves spoiling you whenever you do go shopping bc hes a gentleman and he loves his girl
  • you go to a new restaurant nearly every date and you rate them
  • you take it very seriously and have made a board that hangs proudly in jins room
  • teaches you to cook
  • or tries to at least
  • the really cute back hugging kinda of cooking
  • and his so proud when you manage to cook an edible meal for they boys without burning is kitchen down
  • you also kinda help look after the boys
  • but sometimes he feels like you’re an extra child he has to look after
  • and vice versa actually
  • whenever you tell him a joke or pun, he steals it and tells the boys
  • they now blame you for the increase in bad puns
  • especially yoongi
  • the two of you start to build up a ghibli collection together
  • the favorite is ponyo
  • everyone else groans when you put it on for movie night but they watch it anyway
  • surprisingly you’re quite good friends with yoongi
  • you stay over a lot and end up chatting to him quite a bit
  • tho he doesn’t appreciate you’re puns
  • you get introduces to all his idol friends
  • like he shows you off a bit? but only bc he wants everyone to know you’re his
  • you don’t say i love you normally
  • they first time he said it, he said “i lava you”
  • and you’ve used puns ever since aw
Drunk Text II Open
  • Alexa: You know the best feelin in the world?
  • Alexa: It isn’t love. Hell no
  • Alexa: The best feeling is when you stuff your face with food and you just kinda lay there not able to move cuz your belly is so big
  • Alexa: But I hate how chocolate immediately melts on my finger. I mean am I that hot?
  • Alexa: How many beers is too many beers?