face splats

30 Days of H2OVanoss

December 1st – Snowball Wars.

Based on the prompt: “I was having a snowball fight outside and you were casually walking by and oh my god I’m so sorry I accidentally nailed you in the face.” AU.


The snowball hit Jonathan on the side of his face, showering him in icy particles. He froze as he met the eye of the small child responsible, a wide grin spreading its way across his face. The girl squealed and took off, giggling loudly as she made her way back to the other kids.

It was the first snow of the season and all of the children had gathered for an epic neighbourhood snowball battle. Jonathan, who had never really been good at saying no to the little angels had been roped in immediately by a particularly cunning group of kids no older than 8, demanding that he build them the best snow fort in the world.

And so that’s how he had wound up where he was: drenched and covered in snow, his nose and cheeks bright red from the cold, ready to get his revenge.

Bending down, Jonathan scooped up a handful of snow in his numb hands and started to creep forward slowly, the satisfying sound of crunching ice beneath his feet.

“I’ll get you for that Ruby!”

He threw the snowball at the same time as the girl jumped behind a stranger in a red hoodie that Jonathan hadn’t noticed walking down the street. He watched in horror as the snowball sailed through the air and hit the guy square in the face.

The stranger stopped and blinked a few times as the snow dripped down his face. He shook his head slowly causing a small shower of white to go cascading down around him.

Jonathan’s brain switched back into action and he raised his hands, his mouth falling open in shock. “I-I’m so sorry!” He managed to gasp out.

The man in red turned slowly to face him and Jonathan gulped. Underneath the snow that speckled his face the man was gorgeous. His sleek black hair was styled in a faux hawk, his shoulders were broad and his arms were so muscular that Jonathan had no doubt that the guy could snap him in half if he wanted to.

Ruby peeked up at the stranger with a small smile on her face. “He got you!” She sing-songed, tugging lightly on the red hoodie. The guy grinned back down at her, revealing a set of perfectly straight white teeth and slightly chubby cheeks that made Jonathans stomach swoop.

“Do you think we should get him back?”

Ruby nodded enthusiastically, “Yeah!”

The man in red caught Jonathans eye before grinning again, bending down to scoop up some snow into his hands. Jonathan took the small window of opportunity and bolted behind a nearby tree, laughing loudly as he did. There was a soft thud as a flying snowball hit the tree trunk above him.

“This means war!” He cried, launching two snowballs after one another, first at Ruby and then at the stranger. Both missed their marking, causing the stranger to burst into a fit of laughter. Jonathan pouted and the man took advantage of his distraction to throw a well-aimed snowball at Jonathan’s head.

Jonathan sputtered and wiped the snow off his face before deciding to take a different approach. He stepped out from behind the tree and ran directly at the guy in the red hoodie, figuring that the element of surprise would give him the upper hand.

As he ran his foot caught on a slippery part of the road, causing him to lose his balance and tumble backwards. He landed on his back rather ungracefully with a loud “Ooft” as the air left his lungs.

The guy in the red hoodie reacted immediately, racing to his side, only to slip on the ice himself, landing directly on top of Jonathan.


Jonathan gasped as the strangers full weight landed on top him and then began to laugh hysterically. The guy on top of him joined in rolling to side and staring up at the sky as he caught his breath.

“Dude you should’ve seen your face!”

Jonathan snorted, “You’re the idiot who slipped over straight after the watching it happen to someone else.”

“Oh yeah?” Came the reply, “You’re the idiot who can’t throw a snowball to save his life.”

“Oh no you didn’t!” Jonathan rolled over to find himself face to face with the attractive stranger and he faltered for a second, his cheeks heating up and flushing an even darker shade of red. He watched as the guys brown eyes scanned his face, taking in Jonathans flushed cheeks before reconnecting with his crystal blue eyes.



The stranger gave a small smile, “I’m Evan.”

Jonathan returned the smile, shivering slightly. “I’m cold. And Jonathan. My name’s Jonathan.”

Evan chuckled softly, pushing himself into a sitting position. “You wanna go grab a coffee to warm up?”

Jonathan sat up as well, brushing himself off. “Sure, but I’m buying. I owe you for hitting you with that first snowball which was a total accident I swear.”

Evan reached over and brushed a few specks of snow that Jonathan had missed out of his hair, enjoying the way the younger guys cheeks flushed as he did. He was absolutely adorable, all flustered and nervous giggles and Evan desperately wanted to get to know him better.



SYPNOPSIS - Things get a little heated between Hiccup and Astrid after a race one day. Paint pots get broken and faces get splatted. RTTE age. Oneshot.


“Bud we need to leave, now!”

The dragon in question gave Hiccup a look of ‘you’re on your own with your nesting partner’, and simply got up and walked off, leaving his rider to the mercy of the blonde warrior goddess stalking towards him.

Hiccup raised his hands to show they were empty and he was unarmed. Astrid carried her axe with her everywhere, why didn’t he carry his as-yet-unnamed contraption with him?

“A…A…Astrid, I can explain…”

“Haddock I do not need you passing me sheep when Stormfly is perfectly capable of getting them herself! I am not a weak and helpless woman, as much as you seem to think!”

Hiccup noticed out of the corner of his eye Stoick and Gobber backing away quietly, as were the rest of the gang.  

“…remember when Val was this mad at me once. Between her and a Monstrous Nightmare, I’d rather take the Nightmare…”

Gobber thankfully remained silent.

They were in the converted kill ring, Hiccup backing away with his hands still raised and Astrid slowly advancing on him. Hiccup suddenly felt the solid wall that marked the end of the road for him at his back.

“Now I need to deal with mother thinking you’re courting me in public! That’s going to raise Hel!”

“Hiccup, heads up.”

Hiccup and Astrid snapped their heads to the source of who was calling Hiccup, which turned out to be Tuffnut…holding three pots in his arms.

“Tuffnut! Little busy right now!” Astrid seethed at him.

“You can thank me later dude, bro-code rule one hundred and forty three: look out for other bros in mortal danger from their significant other and offer assistance.” He took a brief glance at Astrid before promptly dropping the three lidded pots on Hiccup, clearly expecting him to catch all three.

He only caught one. The other two rolled about and ended up at Astrid’s feet.

Hiccup peered inside and found that it was a new pot of red paint.

“Odin’s soggy left trouser leg pay attention!”

The lid clattered to the floor. Realisation suddenly dawned on Astrid’s face, and a sharp smirk appeared on Hiccup’s.

“Don’t you da-”

There was the highly amusing sound of red paint splatting all over Astrid’s face and upper body, with the rest making an encore while landing on the stone behind her.

Astrid was now covered in bright red paint, from the top of her head to about halfway down her shirt. A mix of emotions swirled across her face, predominantly shock, horror and confusion.

Hiccup had frozen in the throwing position, the pot firmly held between his two hands, beginning to realise the vast consequences of his actions.

However before he could say anything, Astrid had dropped to the floor to pick up one of the two remaining pots, ripping its lid off and then dowsing Hiccup before he had even left his previous body position.

It was now Hiccup’s turn to feel stupid. He was now bright blue from the head down. Astrid now looked like she could kill…

…before she started giggling.

“Well it somewhat improves your cuteness…”

They both mutually looked at the last pot, comically exactly halfway between them.

It was Hiccup who made the first move, leaping for it. Astrid however had other ideas. She jumped forwards, intent on removing Hiccup from the equation before claiming the paint as her own. What neither of them took into account however, was how slippery the paint made them both.

“Ow! Now why would you do tha-!”

“Just lie still! I never realised leather got so slippery when coated in paint!”

“What!? So you can drop the last pot on me?”

“Thats exactly what I’m going to do!”

Astrid was on top of Hiccup, using her superior strength to hold him down. She tried leaning back to where the paint was lying, except knocking Hiccup back had put it ever so slightly out of her range. It was a difficult choice, keep Hiccup wiggling beneath her, or attempt a recovery of the pot?

Said wiggler made the choice for her. Hiccup rubbed his hands over his face - transferring a lot of the red paint from there to his hands - and then ran his hands through Astrid’s hair.

“No! Do you know how long thats going to take to get out you son of a half-”

Hiccup used the distraction to flip Astrid over so he was now the dominant player;

“Now now Astrid, I don’t think the chief would be too happy to hear either he or his wife was a half troll. Right where’s the paint…”

“Hiccup you’re so bony…it’s a wonder survived your first winter with this little meat on your bones.”



“Be quiet.”


Hiccup reached over for the paint, having rolled closer to the paint since Astrid was in charge. Yet Astrid wasn’t one to quit so easily, even if she was enjoying Hiccup being on top.

The change in position meant Hiccup was now outside his centre of gravity. And vulnerable. With a deft flick of her arms, Astrid tumbled with Hiccup into the - thankfully still sealed - pot, each one slipping and sliding over the other, Astrid trying to offload some of the paint from her onto Hiccup’s face via her hands, and Hiccup resorted to messing up Astrid’s hair even further by taking it out of its usual braid. Hiccup was quite sure he’d face the Red Death again than sort out Astrid’s hair.

The pair tossed and tumbled about the ring, neither one able to gain an advantage over the other. Astrid was stronger and more tactical, yet Hiccup was able to level the field by being coated in slippery leather and being more resourceful with the situation he was in.

“Do you think they’re going to notice us all standing here?” Fishlegs said to the gang, leaning over the railing surrounding the ring.

“Nah, I say let them fight! This is the best thing thats happened all week, Astrid screaming at Hiccup and then being doused in paint!” Ruffnut replied, loudly.

There was a small gathering left behind to watch the chief’s son and the Hofferson girl trying to defeat the other. Everyone knew Hiccup and Astrid had a thing for each other, however lest you wanted a round with Astrid’s axe it was an unspoken topic in front of the aforementioned couple.

“Well if they don’t finish soon, I’ll have to separate them. Hiccup has chiefly duties to fulfil.” Stoick added in a serious tone, arms crossed and foot tapping restlessly on the floor.

“Och c’mmon Stoick. Let the young lad and lassie have their fun. Remember the time you tried courting Val by starting a food fight at her families hall?”

“Don’t give the young one’s here any ideas…” Stoick muttered back, fearful of what damage the Thorston’s offspring could do if they knew their chief had once done it.

Back in the paint pit, the two teens were tiring, fast. Chests heaving and breathing rapidly. Astrid finally had Hiccup in a headlock from which he couldn’t escape. Dragging him over to the pot, she awkwardly opened it with Hiccup struggling like his life depended on it. Hopefully he wouldn’t be teased too badly by being beaten in a fight by a girl, it was Astrid after all…

“Hold still! The faster I pour this over you the faster we can go and clean ourselves up!” Astrid complained, she felt grotty since her hair was all over the place and matted up.

“What, what makes you think I want to clean?” Hiccup retorted.

“Hah! Prepare to meet your doom Haddock.”

As Astrid made the move to slowly pour the pot over Hiccups head in a torturous manner, Hiccup saw a chance to at least get them both partially covered. If he couldn’t win, then he was going to have to settle with a draw. It was underhanded, but he’d been called the spawn of Loki for years, this should be right in with his character.

As the first dribble of the bright yellow paint threatened to come out of the pot, Hiccup twisted within his captors grip. On a usual day he would have revelled - and felt incredibly awkward - at where his head was currently, but that was beside the point.

Before Astrid could say anything or make a move to rectify the situation, she felt Hiccups hands move towards her waist. She was about to get tickled.

“No no and NO!”

Before she lost all control and surrendered to the tickling, Astrid flicked the hand which was holding the paint. Yes she would get slightly splatted but the end result would still see Hiccup mostly covered in it.

In the split second distraction he had, Hiccup used the last of his strength to roll himself and Astrid onto their side, further widening the spread of paint and ensuring that they were somewhat equally covered.

The pair once again felt the feeling of being covered with free flowing paint. Less so than last time but still, it was paint.

As payment for his tickling, the now mostly empty pot fell on Hiccups head with a resounding whack. Astrid was far too busy making sure none of the paint dripped into her eyes however to make fun of that fact.

Separating, and struggling to stand on the slippery stone, Hiccup and Astrid looked at each other and laughed between heavy breaths. Hiccup slipped with his prosthetic leg and collided back into Astrid, causing them to laugh even more.

“Right then you two, have you quite finished?” came the deep voice of Stoick, attempting to sound serious but it was evident he was very amused.

Taking a second for a couple of deep breaths before answering; “Yes…dad. We’re done.”

“Good. Go and clean yourselves up, I’m sure Toothless and Stormfly will want some attention from the two of you after all the fun you’ve had.”

As if on cue, the two dragons rushed in. Toothless bounded to Hiccup and Stormfly ran over to Astrid.

“Come on bud, I think we need a long time in the hot springs.” Hiccup said, while scratching the dragon behind it’s ear plates.

The Night Fury crooned before looking at the paint on the floor and back to Hiccup expectantly.

“The rain’ll wash it away, unfortunately it wont arrive quick enough to wash me away.”

“Come on Hiccup, we’re waiting.”

Hiccup looked to Astrid and Stormfly and found that they were already saddled up. He quickly followed suit, being sure to get at least some of the paint onto Toothless, who growled in return.

“Be quick son, you still have duties to fulfil.”

“Sure dad, I’ll try to be.” Hiccup replied, having already taken off after Astrid.

“Think they’re going to go any further than rolling about with clothes on, Stoick?” Gobber asked Stoick when the pair were well out of earshot.

“Hiccup had better go to the mens section, they’re not even official as a pair to the tribe yet.”

In the distance Astrid could be heard screaming; “YOU DID NOT JUST CHALLENGE ME TO A WATER FIGHT HICCUP HADDOCK!”



Got the idea for this scrolling through Tumblr a while back, only just gotten round to doing it. Thanks for reading, and Happy Christmas :)