fab pony

that time show pony bought fun ghoul at tommy chow mein’s

(based off of this

None of them noticed that Fun Ghoul had left the building. 
To be fair, Fun Ghoul himself didn’t notice either. He was asleep. 

“What do you mean ‘you sold him’?” Party Poison asked, leaning onto the counter at Chow Mein’s. “He didn’t have a fuckin’ price tag.” 

Tommy shrugged. “Round here everything has a price tag. I know what I’d sell you for.” 

Party paused, finger in mid air, mouth open. Kobra Kid nudged him. He closed his mouth. “We’ll discuss that more later,” Party settled on. “Who did you sell him to?” 

“Can of Power Pup and I’ll tell you.” 

“Two seconds.” Party said, then turned around, spinning Jet Star and Kobra around with him. They had a brief, loudly whispered conversation about the merits of handing over precious food versus holding Chow Mein, “that rat bastard”, at phaser point (Baby Girl’s suggestion). Tommy heard every word, but didn’t react. The only sign he was alive was a slow blink and the rise and fall of his suited chest. He didn’t tend to take things personally. The three-out-of-four turned back around, and Baby Girl pushed her way to the front. 

A can of Power Pup was placed on the counter. 

—- 

“Show Pony!” Jet yelled, banging a fist on the plywood that passed for the door of Dr. D’s station. It slid open and Show Pony leaned against the wall, the picture of words such as “casual” and “suave”. 

“You rang?” They said, blinking at Jet through thick, glittering eyelashes. 

“I think you have something that belongs to us.” Jet stated. He heard a crash from inside the station, muffled cursing, and then Fun Ghoul appeared under Show Pony’s arm. 

“Fuck you! I belong to no one!” Ghoul shouted, pointing a finger in Jet’s face. “I am my own damn person!” 

“Of course you are, honey.” Show Pony said absently to Fun Ghoul, then levelled Jet with a stare again. “I bought him fair and square,” they said. “What can you give me?” 

Jet thought. “Power Pup?” “Hate the stuff.” “A new jacket?” “Do I look like I need any fashion from you?” “Fair. Uh, A back rub?” “Jet Star, if you want me just say so. No deal.” “Shit. We can get your roller skates new wheels?” “Now you’re getting warmer.” 

Jet wracked his brain. Fun Ghoul was watching, very amused. He grinned like the Cheshire Cat. Jet pointed toward the Trans Am, where Party and Kobra were waiting in the front seat. “I can give you Party Poison.” 

“I already have Party Poison in all the ways that matter,” Show Pony responded. They raised their voice, shouting to the car. “Don’t I, sweet thing?” 

Party stood up through the sun roof. “They do.” He sat back down. Jet sighed. 

“Ghoul, just get in the damn car or I’ll break all your bombs and have Kobra bury the parts where the sun don’t shine.” 

“See what I have to deal with, Pony?” Ghoul whined, leaning exaggeratedly into Show Pony’s side, wrapping his arms around their middle. 

“It’s just awful, darling.” Show Pony crooned. Ghoul grinned wickedly at Jet. He was playing a game, and Fun Ghoul played to win. But so did Jet Star, and he had a secret weapon. It was time to break out the big guns.

“Well gee, Ghoul, what am I going to tell Angel Face?” Ghoul froze, and Jet knew he had an in. “You know, she was the one who noticed you were gone in the first place.” 

“She was?” Ghoul asked, voice suddenly higher. 

“You bet your ass I was!” Baby Girl appeared from behind Jet, hands fisted against her hips. Her tiny face was creased in rage. “’Cuz you hadn’t been running your damn mouth for ten seconds! C’mon.” 

She grabbed Ghoul by the hand and tugged him all the way back to the Trans Am, verbally abusing him the whole time with some very creative swear words until she had gotten him into the backseat and sat firmly on his lap. Show Pony slid up to Jet on their skates, grinning blissfully and blindingly.

“What a charming young lady.” 

I have this weird headcanon that Show Pony is a huge fan of My Chemical Romance, like he preaches their albums (minus Danger Days of course because it doesnt exist) on the airwaves like they’re gospel, which to him, they kind of are. The Four always make fun of him for it, but Pony could never figure out why, especially given that The Four seem to know how to play all of My Chem’s songs.

okay so like I see a lot of headcanons in which Tommy Chow Mein is a kind of grumpy-yet-secretly-nice guy and he’s like friends with Dr. D + Pony/The Fab 4

BUT I SAY
what if he’s like the opposite of that? he acts all chummy on the outside but it’s a farce, because he doesn’t care about much of anything besides himself and his business,
and the Fab 4 can’t STAND him??

Tommy’s a salesman, a cutthroat salesman, but a salesman (maybe even a bit of a showman). And for him, the best way to make it out here in the Zones is to SELL, SELL, SELL!
And he really is one of the best at it. Tommy can get you ANYTHING– for a price.
He thinks he should try to appeal to people, encourage them to buy more, but perhaps he overdoes it. It’s not that he’s annoying, but sometimes his overzealous attitude, his determination to convince you that you NEED to buy, takes on a manic tint, a cold glint enters his eyes while you’re trying to haggle prices with him. He may want you to BUY, BUY, BUY, but he’s not very accomodating. It’s his way or the highway. He doesn’t care if your mate is fucking dying in the car outside; the price is 600 carbons and that’s FINAL. If you don’t like how he operates, fine, you can pack up and leave. He doesn’t care about you unless you can pay.
He doesn’t like if you try to talk to him about anything that doesn’t have to do with business.
Despite his fake cheery exterior, Tommy can turn on you in a flash, get deadly serious deadly quick. And you can’t cheat Tommy Chow Mein. Destroya help you if you try to cheat Tommy Chow Mein.
He’s not dishonest himself, but no one really likes him. You come to him because he’s the best, because you know that you can count on him to deliver (as long as you have the carbons) but nobody LIKES him. And that’s just fine with him, because he doesn’t really like any of you either, no matter what he’ll say when he’s trying to convince you to buy a new raygun or bottle of hair dye.

another thing: i feel like the diner might have some retro games in it, like pacman or the weird starship shooting game thing (i never did learn what that was called). when the killjoys would hang out there they would all practice and compete on their own time. pony likes to watch or join in sometimes. hes gotten the highscore a few times high enough to piss off the fab four (“pony what the FUCK youre here all the time so this is cheating NO”)