Blame me for your weight gain. I did this to you. I made you eat everything, every day, nonstop. Whisper in my ear how it’s my fault for turning you into an obese, blubbery, doughy fat ass. Tell me that my encouragement is the reason for your extra 30, 40, 50 pounds. Blame me for your obesity. Blame me for your massive thighs and pillowy arms. Blame me for 3XL shirts that will be snug in about a month. Blame me for soft fat that bounces at the slightest touch and sits between your huge thighs. Blame me for your breathlessness and insatiable appetite