sterek + things you said when we were the happiest we ever were, please?
Stiles was the one to propose.
He and Derek had been walking down the street, hand in hand, enjoying the sunny day, and it had just felt so completely right to turn to Derek and say, “marry me,” while interrupting what Derek had been saying.
“What?” Derek had choked out, frozen in the middle of the sidewalk.
Stiles had just turned to Derek’s shocked form and smiled, moving close to Derek and repeating, “marry me,” in a whisper.
“Okay,” Derek had replied with a nod after a long moment of still shocked silence from the man.
Stiles had smiled and kissed Derek hard, had kissed him messily, in the middle of that sidewalk next to a convience store, people walking around them, some looking at them with annoyed looks for interrupting their steady and fast walk, and others looking at them with smiles on their faces, others just looking confused. It didn’t matter, anyway.
“You and me always, right?” Stiles had murmured once they broke the kiss.
“For forever and a day,” Derek had replied, and that was the sappiest they got before Stiles took Derek’s hand and they continued on with their walk as if they hadn’t just gotten engaged, small smiles on their faces.
Lydia had insisted on a big wedding, even though Stiles and Derek would have preferred a small wedding at the courthouse with just their family and closest friends.
But the outdoor wedding in the woods, with an arch filled with flowers, and the white carpet leading them down the middle aisle, and then the outdoor reception under a big tent, with tables filled through it, and then a dance floor in the middle of all of them, with the big wedding table at the font, hadn’t been so bad either, they had had to conceed to Lydia later that day, music playing as people danced or chatted at their tables.
It was beautiful.
Stiles and Derek had had the first dance, and Stiles had rested his face in the crook of Derek’s shoulder, Derek’s cheek resting on top of his head, and Stiles had felt content, happy.
“You and me always, right?” Stiles had whispered into Derek’s ear so that no one else, not even the other werewolves, could hear.
“For forever and a day,” Derek had whispered back, and Stiles had smiled in response and layed his head back on Derek’s shoulder, swaying back and forth with his brand new husband.
Husband. Stiles felt giddy at thinking the word. He had a husband, he was a husband now.
Stiles felt unstoppable.
A few hours later, Stiles had dragged Derek onto the dance floor when a loud, fast paced song came on and had danced wildly while Derek stood there, arms crossed, shaking his head and refusing to join Stiles in looking ridiculous.
Of course, it was Stiles, so Derek gave in eventually, and forgot about how he had to look to the others, because all he really cared about was how Stiles looked at him.
“Look at her, Derek. Look how beautiful she is.”
“She has your eyes,” Derek murmured, and Stiles looked up at Derek, smile big and wide.
“She’s got your lips,” Stiles said in response, and Derek smiled, slinging an arm around Stiles’ shoulders as they looked at the sleeping baby girl in Stiles’ arms.
They’d just come home from the hospital.
They had found an egg donor who looked as close to Derek in female form as they could, and Erica had been their surrogate.
Next time, Derek would be the biological father, but that didn’t matter to Derek, anyway.
The little girl in Stiles’ arms was fully theirs and only theirs.
Derek couldn’t believe it.
Stiles let out a shaky laugh and turned to look at Derek, and Derek smiled and gave him a soft kiss on the lips. “I love you.”
Stiles grinned, and leaned in to kiss Derek again. “You and me always, right?” Stiles whispered against Derek’s lips.
“For forever and a day,” Derek confirmed, and Stiles gave Derek a short, hard kiss before he pulled back and looked back down at their daughter, who whined in her sleep and then pursed her lips, and then yawned.
Stiles cooed, and Derek smiled softly, reaching out to stoke his daughters’ cheek, and she smiled in her sleep in response.
“Damn,” Stiles whispered, and he couldn’t help but turn and give Derek another soft kiss.
Of course, Stiles and Derek were bound to fight, but it was the really bad ones where they shouted their endearment.
“You and me always, right?” Stiles shouted, pointing at Derek to stop his shouted, harsh words.
Derek blinked, and stopped his angry tirade to look at Stiles, eyes wide.
“For forever and a day,” Derek murmured in response, and Stiles grinned and moved over to Derek, kissing the fuck out of him, reminding him of how in love they were.
“What were we fighting about?” Stiles pulled back to whisper, and Derek shrugged.
The fight had barely landed a blow in their relationship, and the next day, it was forgotten.
Ellie giggled whenever she heard her Daddy and Papa say the words to each other, even as her heart soared at her parents being so in love, and she turned to her little brother, Jamie, with a smile even as the little boy grimaced at his parents being all lovey dovey.
“Aren’t they the bestest?” Ellie whispered.
“No, they’re ‘barrassing,” Jamie grunted, and Ellie laughed.
“You could only hope to be as happy and in love as Daddy and Papa one day.”
“I hope not!” Jamie gasped, and Ellie laughed loudly, causing Stiles and Derek to look over at them. Ellie squealed and pushed at her brother to run.
They weren’t supposed to be out of bed.
Of course, Jamie ate his words when he met the love of his life, and Ellie was smirking at Jamie on his wedding day, and then the smirk turned to a mushy one when she looked over at her Daddy and Papa and could just catch their whispered words of endearment as they leaned close to each other.
It was no secret that Derek usually preferred silence to noise. Noise always grated on him, made him feel uncomfortable and on edge, ready for an attack, but silence meant peace to Derek, it meant that things were okay and that things could be nice and comfortable.
Silence calmed Derek where noise made him tense.
So it was interesting that silence was doing the absolute opposite to him right now.
Except he knew why that is.
Derek looked over at Stiles with a scowl marring his features, but Stiles was stubbornly looking out the window, his clear dismissal of Derek making the air between them even more tense and uncomfortable.
Stiles was usually full of noise, in everything that he did. Even his crazy, wild movements seemed noisy to Derek. His rapid speech and inability to stop it were another thing as well.
It was no wonder the kid had annoyed and grated on Derek from the start.
Now was no exception. It was like Stiles made it his mission to make Derek as wound up and annoyed and ready to snap as much as possible, whether he was talking or silent, like right then, just sitting there, not a limb moving as he sat still, something that was highly unusual for the guy.
“Look, Stiles, you’re underage -”
“For two more weeks!” Stiles burst out before Derek could finish, whipping his head around to glare at Derek.
“That doesn’t make you magically eighteen years old, Stiles,” Derek said through gritted teeth as his hands tightened on the wheel.
“What the fuck ever, Derek!” Stiles practically shouted. “I’m more grown up than practically everyone else my age and you know it! Age doesn’t matter here!”
“Yes, it does!” Derek shouted back. “Nothing will ever happen until you are legal in the eyes of the law.”
Stiles rolled his eyes and mockingly mouthed Derek’s words back at him.
“Wow, way to show your age there, Stiles,” Derek snapped.
Stiles scowled, glaring harder at Derek.
“You can wait two weeks, Stiles. Just two weeks. And then we can kiss all you want. But not a minute before then.”
“You’re no fucking fun,” Stiles ground out, turning back to glare out the window again. They were almost to Stiles’ house.
“Yeah, well, if fun is what you want, then look somewhere else, Stiles,” Derek snapped out again, turning forward to glare out the windshield.
“I don’t want to look anywhere else, you complete dipshit,” Stiles growled out, and Derek rolled his eyes.
“If I’m who you want, then all the more luck to ya, Stiles,” Derek sighed, turning down the next street.
“Oh fuck off, Derek Hale. Don’t give me that self-depricating bullshit.”
Derek ground his teeth together, having to force himself not to yell anymore than he already had. Stiles was going to do him in one of these days, he sweared. Why did he have a massive crush on this kid again anyway?
“Well, Stiles,” Derek spoke calmly, making his voice as even as possible. “I’m just look at the facts. You’ve hated me since we met, everyone has hated me, honestly, and you can’t deny that-”
“Yeah, I can!” Stiles laughed incredulously, looked at Derek in complete shock and turned to fully face Derek. “I’ve never, not once, said I hated you, Derek.”
Derek scoffed, and it was his turn to look out the window, away from Stiles’ eyes, before turning back to look at the road.
“What the hell, Derek, where is this coming from?” Stiles blurted out, and he sounded genuinely shocked, like Derek feeling this way hadn’t occured to him at all.
“Don’t play dumb, Stiles,” Derek murmured, even though he doubted Stiles was playing anything here. “Since the moment I came back, everyone has hated me, and I don’t blame them!” Derek said loudly when he saw Stiles’ mouth open to protest his words in the corner of his eye. “I’ve never exactly been friendly or inviting. And I’ve screwed up things more times than I can count. I’ve never been good for anything. You guys were all better off when I was gone-”
“No were weren’t, are you fucking shitting me!” Stiles yelled, and Derek looked over real quick to look at Stiles, and his eyes widened when he saw the tears in Stiles’ eyes. “We are a complete and total mess without you! Everything went to complete shit-”
“But not because I wasn’t there,” Derek laughed self-depricatingly, shaking his head at Stiles’ frustrated groan. “It wouldn’t have made a bit of difference if I was there or not and you know it. Things were always complete and utter shit when I was here, too. I was a complete ass to Scott when he first turned, I was a piss poor alpha, and I was total shit at being a mentor. Everyone was better off when I left.”
“You’re wrong,” Stiles said with conviction, and Derek was shocked that he sounded so sure, wasn’t sure where this fairly good opinion he had of Derek had come from. Derek was under the impression that Stiles had never been able to stand him.
“How?” Derek ground out. “What it is it about me that could compell you to kiss me of all people?”
“Oh fucking-” Stiles groaned, thumping his head against the head rest of his seat, rolling his eyes. “Derek, you don’t even see how amazing you are, do you?”
Derek was so shocked by Stiles’ words that he whipped his head around to look at Stiles, confused above anything else, and he accidentally swerved the car to the right and almost ran into the sidewalk before he righted the car, forcing himself to look back at the road. They were almost at Stiles’ house.
“What do you mean?” Derek said lowly.
“Derek, it wasn’t like Scott was the nicest guy to you back then, either, and things might not have worked out for you as an alpha, but you weren’t piss poor at it, and you tried, and that counts for a whole fucking lot, Derek. You never gave up, never stopped trying to better yourself and keep those you cared about safe and alive. You gave up all that power for your sister, where I’m sure most wouldn’t have, all for that sweet taste of power. The first time you left, you could have stayed gone, but you came back because you wanted to figure out a way to help this city, help Scott. You transformed into a fuckin’ black wolf because you became a hero in your own right,” Derek’s eyes widened further at Stiles’ words, his heart pounding in his chest wildly. “And I’m sorry it took me so long to figure that out,” Stiles whispered the last sentence. “All you ever tried to do was help people, and hopefully gain something like a family again. You’ve made mistakes, obviously, but which one of us hasn’t?”
Derek could hardly breathe as he pulled into Stiles’ driveway, slowly coming to a stop, eyes still facing forward.
“You’re amazing to me, Derek, so of course I would want to kiss you.”
Derek didn’t realize he had tears in his eyes until he blinked and a tear fell down his cheek.
“Goddamn it, Stiles,” Derek choked out, and Stiles laughed shakily as he sat there, not making a move to leave the car.
“Derek, you aren’t just a fun time to me,” Stiles murmured, and Derek swallowed past the lump in his throat to look over at Stiles, who didn’t look away when he and Derek’s eyes caught and held.
“One,” Derek whispered, and Stiles got that adorable, confused look on his face as Derek unbuckled his seat belt, but then the look melted into pleased shock as Derek leaded forward and kissed Stiles lightly on the lips.
The silence was deafening now, and it wasn’t peaceful or tense now. It was filled with a buzzing of electricity, a thick layer of something in the air. Derek couldn’t quite place it. But as his lips brushed against Stiles’, Derek couldn’t drum up the brain power to figure out what it was between them. Not now. Not yet.
Their lips dragged together in a smooth, soft slide, setting Derek’s nerves ablaze as his stomach tightened with the low thrum of arousal just boiling under the surface.
Derek tilted his head to the left to deepen the kiss slightly, and he and Stiles’ tongues just barely brushed together before Derek pulled his tongue back.
Derek took Stiles’ lower lip between his lips and sucked on it for a moment for releasing it and going back for one more sensual slide of his lips against Stiles’ before he slowly pulled back from Stiles’ frankly addicting lips.
Derek slowly opened his eyes, saw that Stiles’ were still closed, his lips still pouting out as if they were still kissing. Then Stiles let out a shaky sigh, licked his lips and then opened his eyes slowly as he let out a “wow.”
Derek cleared his throat and nodded. “Two more weeks, and then we can do that all you want, okay?”
Stiles nodded as if he was still coming out of a daze, cleared his throat. “Yeah, okay.”
Derek smiled lightly, and then gave Stiles a quick peck on the cheek. “’Night, Stiles.”
“’Night,” Stiles breathed as Derek pulled all the way back into his seat and faced forward again.
And then Stiles was stumbling out of the car, unsteady on his feet.
Derek waited until Stiles was all the way inside the house before he made his shaky hand move to turn on the car.
Derek felt his lips tingle all the way back to his place, and he couldn’t stop a dumb smile forming on his face the whole way there.
My body is nothing more than a vessel for my brain, laugh, bones, joy, muscles, and love. It does not exist to fade away. It does not exist to justify my confidence (or lack thereof). It exists to let me run, jump, sing, dance, laugh, grow, learn, and inspire. It does not exist to shrink. That is not my purpose.
It is to love and be loved.
I am more than this skin, these bones, and these insecurities. I am unbridled joy, wisdom, strength, and power.
My girls who have been self conscious in the past:
Remember how when someone touched us we used to immediately put our hand in the exact same spot to see how it must have felt? To make sure it didn’t feel too soft/squishy? And if it actually felt fine we’d be like “no no, they probably touched here and felt this”?
I’ve just realized that I’ve finally gotten over that. When someone touches my waist or legs or arms or anywhere I just welcome the touch, I don’t think about how my body feels under their hand. I finally understand that if they didn’t want to be feeling me they wouldn’t be touching me. It’s so crazy to think of how far I’ve come 😭