f: two towers

8

At Helm’s Gate, before the mouth of the Deep, there was a heel of rock thrust outward by the northern cliff. There upon its spur stood high walls of ancient stone, and within them was a lofty tower. Men said that in the far-off days of the glory of Gondor the sea-kings had built here this fastness with the hands of giants. The Hornburg it was called, for a trumpet sounded upon the tower echoed in the Deep behind, as if armies long-forgotten were issuing to war from caves beneath the hills. A wall, too, the men of old had made from the Hornburg to the southern cliff, barring the entrance to the gorge. Beneath it by a wide culvert the Deeping-stream passed out. About the feet of the Hornrock it wound, and flowed then in a gully through the midst of a wide green gore, sloping gently down from Helm’s Gate to Helm’s Dike. Thence it fell into the Deeping-coomb and out into the Westfold Vale.

lotr au where everything is the same except instead of constantly stating the obvious, Legolas makes stupid puns

Instead of “a diversion” he says, “EYE like this plan!”

When he kills the warg rider, instead of “A scout!” he says “We’re about to have a RUFF day!”

and every single time, Aragorn and Gimli just facepalm

eventually Legolas and Gimli make a game out of it. who can make Aragorn snap first