6 Songs Horror Movies Should Use Instead Of Nursery Rhymes

Eventually horror movies are gonna run out of nursery rhymes to use, so they’re gonna need to use some new songs. Here’s my list of songs that should be used by the ghoulie, ghostie or serial killer in whatever franchise gets shat out next halloween.

1 - Cotton Eye Joe

Look, honestly, I feel like a horror movie that uses this song is WAY overdue. Most of them seem to be set in some cabin or in a backwater town in the middle of nowhere, and nothing screams ‘midwestern horror’ than a eurodance song sung by a Swedish novelty act.

2 - Toxic by Britney Spears

Right? I mean if there’s any iconic noughties pop song that would fit incredibly well in a horror movie, it is absolutely this one. Just think about it. Think about that one scene in the movie where the background noise is gone but all you can hear is Humpty Dumpty or whatever shit they used. Now imagine a muffled edit of Toxic. Tell me to my face that wouldn’t still be absolutely terrifying.

3 - The Full House Theme

A small abandoned apartment block, in the middle of a district nobody visits anymore. No lights are on except for one, the soft hum of a television plugged into a power socket that shouldnt be functioning. On it loops every single series of the Full House, except no dialogue is heard besides that of the character Joey, and the famous theme song. A gaggle of teenagers, high on some substance or another, break in only to find that they aren’t the only ones watching the weirdly edited version of ABCs infamous sitcom.

4 - Axel F by Crazy Frog

You could even use the frog as the monster! It works perfectly. The protagonist is creeping round the haunted house/hospital/sewer/carnival and theres an echo in the distance. Ding ding. It gets closer. Ding ding. But the audience never gets to see the source, they just keep hearing the sound it makes. Ding ding. Then that unholy abomination jumps up, dick out, and fuckin kills the protagonist in the most gory fashion possible. I think it’s the culmination of the Crazy Frog storyline we’ve all been waiting for.

5 - Bangarang by Skrillex

I just think it’d be cool.

6 - The Drowning Music from Sonic the Hedgehog

This one may be generation-specific but to those who know, there’s nothing more terror-inducing than hearing that gradually accelerating music, as you struggle to breathe for air. It is to videogames as the Jaws theme is to cinema, and I think it’s time for it to make the cross-media leap that it so truly deserves.