f&llines

my entire life i have had my emotions clouded by anxiety. i’m unable to experience them as they inherently are. rather, i experience a sense of urgency and nervousness in all i feel, plus a need to understand, so i try to rationalize or intellectualize the emotions and connect a to b and b to c and so on and so forth. labelling each way i feel as a concrete good or bad. it’s so unhealthy. i can read about it and try to educate myself about the “right” way to feel but that won’t allow me to learn how to feel things properly. it’s not something that can be taught. i mean, maybe it is and i’m clueless. but i’m determined to fix it. EQ is just as important as IQ, and rn my EQ is practically nonexistent. this realization has me fucked up today, i’ve been in bed in silence since i woke up just thinking about this repeatedly and my entire internalized life makes so much sense now. i don’t know if this even makes sense to anyone else because it’s difficult to put into words 

I never understood the hate krystal got for her “attitude”. I won’t lie, I used to think the Jung sisters were cold but after watching their reality show, It really changed my perception of them. They’re both warm hearted. Krystal just gets hate for her resting face or that she doesn’t talk much at award shows, but watching Jessica &Krystal made me realize she is always slightly uncomfortable in big crowds. I remember 1part where they were cornered by ppl & she looked so freaked out & nervous