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PROBLEMS
  • Germany: I can’t believe I forgot my phone. I hope Prussia liked his birthday present yesterday. Oh, he called.
  • Phone: You have 17 new messages.
  • Germany: What?!
  • Phone: Message 1.
  • Prussia: Hey West, thanks for the Bazinga t-shirt it's… great. I was just calling because I might need a ride later tonight. Alfred can’t drive and I ran Ivan’s Mazda into that ditch after we watched Fast Five on Netflix together.
  • Russia: You still owe me for that.
  • Prussia: Yeah, yeah, I know, I know. Mazdas are really flammable, did you know that? I didn’t know that. Well, I do now.. but anyway I’ll call you later if we need a pick up from the show, alright?
  • America: *snoring*
  • Prussia: Alfred, you're up! Talk to you later West!
  • Phone: End of Message.
  • Germany: I’m not listening to all of these. *skips to the last message*
  • Phone: Message 17.
  • Prussia: Oh my god is he dead? Why did you put him in the car?
  • Russia: It’s Alfred, you idiot! Just shut up and keep driving to the hospital!
  • Denmark: Gil, when are we getting to Chuck E Cheese?
  • Prussia: Mathias, shut up! Ludwig, please pick up the phone! We are in so much trouble! The show went south, so we decided to make our own, but… Oh man, oh man, pick up your stupid phone! Germany, go to my desk, open the dark drawer and burn everything inside! But hold your breath while you do it! Use that stupid t-shirt you got me to help the fire, you gotta do this, West!
  • Russia: Gilbert, eyes on the road!
  • Denmark: Truck!
  • All: *Screaming*
  • Phone: End of message.

Russia: My country is much closer to you than your so-called state Hawaii. 

America:….

Russia: An invasion would not be as hard as you might like to tell yourself. 

America: ….so-called…? 

2

Today I remembered I have a Tarnma fairy au and I decided to add a lot to that

Shockwave’s a huge deer fairy thing that grows dangerous and rare plants out in the middle of a HUGE forest. He researches and tries to cross breed them 

Blurr’s a tiny speedy flower fairy that ends up getting caught up in Shockwave’s gardening experiments (and Shockwave too lmfao)((he decorates Shockwave’s antlers with flowers when he’s bored))

Bumblebee’s an easy going flower fairy that lives in a big sunflower field by himself that he planted with a bunch of friends/family a long while back, but since then they’ve all moved on (or died) and he’s the only one left tending to the field

Starscream is a bird shifter that got kicked out of Megatron’s clan for being an Ass so he tries to form his own out of spite and p much gets stuck with Bumblebee due to his reputation scaring away most fairies and Starscream’s own stubbornness and pettiness (not that he minds in the end)

Not shown but still important:

- Megatron falling for Optimus, a human that’s excessively kind to plants

- Soundwave’s a fairy that rides on the back of a large cat always followed by 2 birds that sings to lure humans into the forest (Rumble and Frenzy are 2 lil shits that just break into houses to steal tiny things tho, no class compared to their dad)

more pottertalia

Excuses

Fenris/f!Hawke, 1997 words, sfw. Fenris and Hawke form a fledgling friendship over talk of the Deep Roads expedition. Content warnings for mentions of violence, slavery, and canonical character death.

Read here on AO3


“Is your buying people fruit based on their place of origin a regular occurrence? Don’t you have an expedition to fund?”

“Well, you’re the only Tevinter I’ve met and not killed, and the greengrocer was rather persuasive. ‘The only ones you can find in the Free Marches, serah,’” Hawke says in an imitation of the dwarven grocer’s drawl, “‘handpicked by elven maidens and shipped straight to Hightown from the lush stretches of Perineum—’”

Fenris has a weird little cough. “Perivantium.”

“—that’s what I said—‘in crates enchanted with frost runes and pulled by free-range dracolisks.’ Oh, and it looks like it’s wearing a tiny court jester hat,” she adds, pointing to the strange flower that crowns the fruit as he pares it off before scoring the top. “Besides, I’ve never had anything from Tevinter and—oh, sweet Andraste on a stick, of course the damned Tevinter fruit is bleeding.”

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