I might continue this?
Erik knew he was doomed the moment Charles said, “You’re not alone.”
It was only cemented by his saying, “I could, but I won’t.”
Erik has been in love exactly three times. The first two died tragically, and he can’t help thinking it was his own fault. So to be in love again–it makes him angry. Has he not suffered enough? Has he not gone through all that a person can go through and still come out (relatively) sane?
“You are so strong,” Charles whispers, eyes shining, before he kisses Erik.
Erik is a goner.
He has loved more deeply before. He has loved more cleanly. But that was when his scars were fewer and fresher, when his hands were still unstained with the blood of others. This love for Charles, it’s very shallow. His callouses keep it from getting too close.
He knows Charles disapproves. Well, not disapproves, exactly; more like he doesn’t understand, and therefore it hurts him, and he doesn’t like it. Too bad. He’ll just have to get used to it. Because, while Erik admits that his love for Charles isn’t as complete as it could be, he’s not letting go of it until he’s ready. And he’s not ready. Not yet. Not while they have work to do.