eyeballer

anonymous asked:

You were in my dream. I was cutting out a papaya for you and you sounded stressed

Honestly if I were in a room and someone was cutting a papaya for me, I would be stressed up to my fucking eyeballs. I can’t cope with that level of responsibility. If you’re cutting the papaya and your knife slips and you lose an arm, then that’s on me. That’s on my conscience. I have to sleep at night, every night, with the weight of that on my soul.

I’m getting married; my best woman makes a joke to the room about the time someone lost an arm because of me. I force a smile as my partner’s family laughs politely, but I’m dying inside.

I’m interviewing for my dream promotion. My would-be boss leans forward, steeples his fingers and rests his elbows on the desk, and looks me right in the eye. His suit is pinstripe.
“Look,” he says, and he sounds genuinely sorry. “I’d love to give you this promotion. Between you and me, you’ve worked at this company for 15 years. You’re the best damn cat-petter we have. If it were up to me - Hell, you’d be doing my job. But it isn’t up to me. There’s the board, and the directors, and - ”
I lower my head, stare at my lap. There’s a tea stain on my skirt. “It’s about the papaya, isn’t it?” I say.
My would-be boss hesitates, then nods.
“We have an image to maintain,” he says, apologetic. “And that image isn’t that we get people to cut our papayas for us at the expense of a limb. I’m sorry. I really am.”
I quit that week.

I’m 50. I have two beautiful children; adopted because my partner left me after the papaya jokes from friends became too much to bear. My eldest child, who’s 16, looks at me like I’m the devil incarnate.
“I’m sorry,” I say.
“They all hate me,” she accuses. “They won’t leave me alone. You knew this would happen.”
“What did they call you this time?”
She narrows her eyes. A challenge. “They keep asking me to give them a hand with stuff,” she replies, “and telling everyone that I’m ‘armless.”
She leaves home at 17.

I am on my death bed. There’s no priest for me. I have been a committed atheist all my life; there was no god in that room with the papaya. With my dying breath, I rue the fruit. Soon I will be at peace. There are no papayas in heaven.

STEVEN YOUR EYEBALLS.

I’m sure Paul and Raven had a lot of fun drawing this.

I mean… fair enough.

Lars isn’t exactly wrong, I don’t think he gave Sadie any hints that he wants to be with her after Island Adventure.

Sure he could certainly afford to be less of a dick about it but…

Steven okay little buddy you’re getting a bit creepy here.

This is, for one, none of your business.

Oh my god I can’t believe I’m agreeing with Lars in telling Steven to step off.

STEVEN.

NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.

Seriously, this is rude.

I worked hungover and on three hours sleep today with a slit wrist from having a glass fall on me the last shift I had. I cried the whole first hour of being there and managed to hide it from everyone. Working with two white males who only seem to talk about green day, red hot chilli peppers and feminazi’s is starting to wear on me. Today’s conversation consisted of societies loss of respect for men and fathers, and one of the dudes was expressing how he has ownership over his daughter until she turns 18, and how he believes that fathers should be able to have the last say in who their daughters (not sons) date. I lost my eyeballs, right back into my head. I never want to eat egg again from the smell of them cooking hundreds a day. I walked home in the sun skipping, never been so happy to be free of it. I’m starting to think how hard it is to work everyday and never have time to sleep. I bought a big plant @ the end of my shift, big beautiful bell flowers, going to pot it and put it on my balcony where the moon glitters at night and the leaves will too hopefully. My time to myself, looking at the midnight sky from my chair on the balcony listening to my favourite songs and trying to not feel strange about things I’ve done or feelings I’ve felt or people I’ve regretted sleeping with, it’s the softest kindest time I have. I want to make new friends, I need energy and passion, where is it? It comes to me when I need it least. This year has been a warped view of myself and others and the world and the wrong people I have allowed into myself and my emotions for too long. It has also been a very important year, I feel very far from where I was last year and it feels honest to be who I am. I have a lot more love for people now and I guess that has come out of having a lot more love for myself, even if for now it doesn’t feel so present.
I miss my sister every day, I hope she is happy and treated with love.

Gem in a gem in a human hybrid?

So….this has been bouncing around my head for a while in regards to Steven Universe and some things and….well…..

What if Pink Diamond is inside Rose Quartz who in turn is ‘inside’ Steven?

We know that Rose has a very rare healing ability (Eyeball basically said as much in Bubbled), it *is* canon that *something/someone* in Steven’s gem responds when it’s knocked on, and well, there’s Lion. 

I know it was in the comics, but it is canon that Pearls at least have an extra pocket space within their Gem. What if Rose had something similar, likely for healing purposes? 

What if, instead of destroying Pink Diamond or even if she was shattered, Rose hid the bubbled Pink Diamond within her own Gem, which is why all her stuff is inside Lion: She literally didn’t have room in her own Gem pocket dimension anymore or she had to concentrate too much to keep PD contained inside to keep her stuff in her Gem as well. Maybe she hid PD within herself to heal her (like a Gem version of a medicated coma or a bio-pod) or simply to hide PD even more thoroughly from Homeworld and the rest of the Diamond Authority. 

It could also be yet another reason why, well, she basically sacrificed herself to have Steven. Word of Sugar does state that Rose had the ability to essentially have Steven as a regular human but chose not to. What if it was less ‘chose not to’ and more ‘had no choice’? For if she had to concentrate on keeping her internal shapeshifting so as to safely have Steven as a full human *and* concentrate on keeping PD contained within herself, that might have been too much to do all at once and carry the risk of her losing one or even both of them. So it might have just been easier for her to have Steven as a half-human, half-Gem, which also had the unexpected bonus of keeping PD even *more* contained. 

Because, as I got from Three Gems and A Baby, Steven’s Gem *cannot* be removed since doing so will basically kill Steven. Pearl hinted at such when she broke down in the van. And yeah, this also makes me even more curious as to whether Steven could ever actually be ‘poofed’ to begin with but that’s a talk for another time.

And this also explains all of Steven’s strange security clearances that we see with Gem tech. He’s basically part Diamond (either through absorbing some of PD’s power while Rose carried them both at the same time, simply having PD inside of his Gem, or even a combo of both) so yeah all the Gem tech is going to recognize that and give him full clearance. 

However this plays out, this is going to be really interesting to see.

wizard!hyde headcanons

… Surprise! If you haven’t read ‘Absolute Beginners’, I just ruined the surprise with this. But anyway, these headcanons belong to my Witch Verse! (Jackie’s, Donna’s)

  • He hates witches. And wizards too, what the fuck.
  • Growing up thinking your mom is witch and then finding out she is truly one wasn’t exactly Hyde’s idea of ‘fun’.
  • Yet, he got his item from Edna in the form of the eyeball ring he never takes off. He was there when Edna did it and put her energy on it. He rubs it before doing a spell.
  • He is the messiest of the wizards. He had to learn by his own and sometimes, he didn’t followed as said in the books. Other times, to know what was real information and what was human fiction was too hard.
  • Really good at potions, sucks at spells because words.
  • Also, he is the one who put the protection spell on Eric. There is a whole, long, angsty story behind it.
  • Has always been afraid of peole finding out about his power, not because of the law about humans knowing about them, but because he knows people will be afraid of him. 
  • Betsy knows he is a wizard. She was about to fall from the stairs of his building when he stopped her mid air. She promised to not say anything.
  • His special ability is fire. He can produce it out of any flammable thing, in exchange he has to eat a lot.
  • When Jackie sent Fez to investigate him, the cat stole abstract of a very old and powerful love potion he got from an ‘uncle’, that’s how he ended following the damn cat to Jackie’s room, getting busted in the moment.
  • Also hates media about wizards and witches, but knows every single one of them. Secretly likes ‘Practical Magic’ and ‘Witchcraft’, and also enjoyed laughing with ‘The Covenant’.
  • Gets all of Jackie’s pop culture references about witches.
  • After the whole “YOU ARE A WIZARD!!!!” mess, he accepted to learn with Donna and Jackie.
  • Like Jackie, he once did a love spell but never got to use it. He was too chicken to do it. Once Jackie tells him about what she did with hers and on who she used it, he told her about the stupid thing Fez had stolen.
  • Even though he isn’t romatic and doesn’t believe in any of that crap, he did an item for Jackie. Wizards that do items for their couples are usually married ones because to do that is an union beyond vows. He truly didn’t thought much about it but just one thing: she, smiling.