This Morning On...

[Beach side cafe with Robert and Aaron having breakfast]

AARON: *munches on toast* - for the fans. Robert! Will you put your phone away! I’m eating bread products here and you’re not even enjoying it. 

ROBERT: Have you see this though? *scrolls through articles on phone* The Plot is seriously out to get me. Can we just not go back? I really don’t want to go back!

AARON: Yeah I read it. I mean most of it was redacted for the protection of my plot!brain but the gist of it is the same old, same old. We’ll be together forever no matter what the plot throws at us. Nothing new there. 

ROBERT: But what if the plot in between our amazing make up sex turns people off?! What if they leave?

AARON: There will always be something to pull them back in. Did you see we’re gonna get a second wedding? *FAN BAITING ALERT*

ROBERT: Hey, maybe it’ll actually be legal this time. *FAN BITTERNESS ALERT*

AARON: And, there was something in there about a candle lit dinner at the Grange. *FAN BAITING ALERT* I mean, not my top choice of venue, still trying to get you back to Bar West, but we’ve never actually been on a date. I think it’ll be nice. 

ROBERT: Suppose…

AARON: Besides, a bunch of the fans don’t really care about the Plot. They’ll love us no matter what, even if it is out of spite to our creators. 

ROBERT: Are you sure?

AARON: Well, first, you need to stop reading Metro. Try ao3! We do a lot better over there. Maybe…just skip past all of the break up fics though. 

- 3 hours later -

AARON: Robert! Come on! I’ve eaten like seventy-five pieces of toast while you’ve been sitting there staring at your phone. Let’s go do something! I’m bored…and really full. This contractually obligated to eat in every scene thing is really starting to affect me. (DANNY: I’m gonna need to go call Simon for some tips)

ROBERT: Sorry! Just one more chapter! I actually have consistent character development in this! Do you have any idea what this means to me? 

AARON: I do. I actually get to go to therapy in those. It’s nice to be more well adjusted and healthy, even if I’ll always struggle. In any case, I know you’ll always be there for me. 

ROBERT: Always. I got therapy in one of these too. Wow! I have a lot of unresolved issues that the Plot will never let me deal with. 

AARON: So…can we go now?

ROBERT: Two more sentences…okay…let me just see if the next chapter is…what?! It’s not done? *furiously typing* Love this! Please update soon! Right, we can go now. 

AARON: Back to bed?

ROBERT: Definitely. I read some things in here I want to try!

Merlin was never actually intended to be a character.
He just showed up uninvited while I was writing the fifth chapter of Fate/Grand Order, and refused to leave when I asked him to.

He also refused to leave after I stabbed him 47 times in the chest.
He recovered almost instantly.
Garden of Avalon is a truly powerful Noble Phantasm, isn’t it?

Nowadays he occasionally shows up in my kitchen without warning to eat all of my condiments right out of the jars.
I never hear him coming into my house, and he maintains direct eye contact while eating my mayonnaise out of the jar with his hands.
It’s very annoying, and I wish he would just leave me alone already.