external view

Fire houses 1st house, 5th house, 9th house
Personal Houses 

The Goddess awakens, creates herself, and discovers her divinity 

1st house /ascendant
- angular house (self and relationship)
the breath of god, self-discovery, self-expression
the home of aries. favourtised by the mars, sun, leo. mercury also likes the 1st house because it’s easy to get the message out and interact with people using the immediate expression   
conflicts with venus, libra, uranus, aquarius 

5th house - succeedent house (material development, life experience)
ego demonstration, personal amusement, creativity 
the home of leo. favourtised by sun, mars, aries. jupiter is comfortable in the 5th because it doesn’t have to moderate and seeks joy.
conflicts with aquarius, uranus, libra, venus 

9th house - cadent house (combining internal and external views of reality)
quest for answers, physical and cerebral travel, cosmic context of self
the home of sagittarius. favourtised by jupiter. also expresses well with the independent, solo-activated self-discovery of mars and the inclusive, psychic perception of neptune, pisces. 
conflicts with mercury, gemini


(marie larkin art)

Water houses 4th house, 8th house, 12th house
Terminus Vitae - Biographical résumé

From the Mother Goddess the child develops, experiences, loves, and dies only to return to the very Source of being, the Great Mother’s waters

4th house - angular house (self and relationship)
waters of the psychic womb, psychological base, childhood conditioning
the home of cancer. favourtised by moon, jupiter, sagittarius. pluto likes the 4th house because it can go deep
conflicts with saturn, mars. can be overwhelmed with uranus because its so unstable and unpredictable. mercury can feel too internalised and cut off

8th house - succeedent house (material development, life experience)
psychological and unconscious surgery, matters of death, the breaking point
the home of scorpio. favourtised by pluto, mars. mercury can like its complex experiences. jupiter can relish in its access to the unconscious. neptune vibes well in the mystery and spiritual aspects of the 8th house 
conflicts with venus. the sun can be overwhelmed because the ego is constantly threatened 

12th house - cadent house (combining internal and external views of reality) 
spiritual inspiration, hidden secrets, department of inactivity
the home of pisces. favourtised by neptune, jupiter, venus. also the moon likes the hidden sanctuary in the 12th house.
conflicts with mercury. can be too subversive for saturn’s comfort 


Air houses 3rd house, 7th house, 11th house
Social Houses 

The social butterfly flutters from the mind, using its voice to unify, sprinkling its wisdom across humanity 

3rd house - cadent house (combining internal and external views of reality) interaction with immediate stimulus, delivery of information, learning 
the home of gemini. favourtised by mercury. venus likes the airy 3rd house for its social contact and beautification of immediate surroundings. uranus can like its intellectual activity. it can also increase the size and depth of the inner world. conflicts with jupiter. neptune can be overwhelmed by its mental stimulation

7th house - angular house (self and relationship)
the part of you hidden in other people, social and love affairs, law and justice
the home of libra. favourtised by venus, neptune, saturn. because the 7th is a relationship house, the moon likes it here. mercury enjoys its social activity and connection
conflicts with mars and sun. pluto can be overly intense and intimidating here.

11th house - succeedent house (material development, life experience)
elevated dreams, friends and social circles, group involvement 
the home of aquarius. favourtised by uranus, saturn. neptune likes the 11th house for the inclusiveness. mercury relishes in its wider audience. venus appreciates the unity of the 11th house
conflicts with sun. mars can be rattled by its lack of self focus 


art: Marie Larkin

Vectors of the Universe Tarot Spread

I thought about my homestuck spread a little bit more and thought it might look something like this

Space: represents the beginning, the initial spark or the catalyst of the problem or situation

Hope: represents your motivating force, the thing that drives you forward and what you hope will happen

Rage: represents your roadblocks, the things that hold you back or make you hesitate and what you fear will happen

Light: represents what you are most aware of, a goal to look forward to, or what you consider most important

Void: represents what you are unaware of, something you are indifferent to or something you haven’t considered yet

Blood: represents how you are working towards your goal and what must be done in order to achieve your goal, what is your stable working foundation

Breath: represents what sort of options you have, what kind of choices you can make, the directions you could possibly go in, or simply represents the things you have a lot of options or choices for

Heart: represents the internal view of the situation, how everything looks or feels like to you, or the emotional view of the situation

Mind: represents the external view of the situation, how everything looks or feels to everyone around you, or the logical view of the situation

Life: represents the resources, ideas, things or forces entirely within your control and the things, situations or people you have the most influence over

Doom: represents the resources, ideas, things or forces entirely out of your control and the things, situations or people you have least influence over

Time: represents the end result, the final outcome or continuing pattern of the problem or situation

anonymous asked:

hi again, yes about the interview in particular and if you have new thoughts on S2 (because i know you already wrote some predictions and problems that could occur) that would be great!!

Alright then.

So this trainwreck of an interview. This was a wild ride. Just when you think there is no possible way to be more disappointed with the YOI staff, we get this. After this interview, Yuri on Ice can’t claim praise over representation. It can’t.

I’m going to cover the points that I found more…distressing, let’s say. If there’s anything I don’t touch upon that people want me to comment on specifically, feel free to send me an ask. All the bolding in the quotes will be my doing for emphasis of certain points.

Let’s start with this really, really worrisome thing:

Regarding Yuuri and Victor’s scene after the FS, I was fine with it being interpreted in any way. However this is the part that had more response from overseas, I was even directly asked “which one it was”. And then I heard from Japanese people too that some had an argument with their friends over whether they kissed or not, or they just hugged. I was surprised that people would want to know the truth. Up until then I had always thought that people wanted to be able to interpret fiction how they preferred. But seeing the reactions that this episode received, I realized that even if it’s fiction, inside people’s mind this series exists as a world of its own and so they believe that there must be a correct truth, an exact answer somewhere.

First of all let me say that I am very glad there’s finally been mention of the Japanese fandom asking about the kiss or hug thing because I was getting very tired of the whole “lol silly westerners~” thing. That said…how is she surprised that people want to know? If she’s writing this story about two male characters being in a romantic relationship, especially amidst the sea of fanservice bait and toxic yaoi bs, people are going to want confirmation that these two characters did kiss! Mind you, I am team “it was a kiss” and have been since the episode aired, but it’s highly irresponsible of Kubo to just adopt this nonchalant attitude of “I’m fine with any interpretation.” She shouldn’t be fine! This to me says that she was never actually concerned at all with giving anyone representation. 

Victor is asked whether he would like to fight Yuuri as an athlete, but he really doesn’t think that. Actually many people were expecting to see Victor and Yuuri confront each other in a match eventually, however Yuuri is also “trying to win to prove Victor’s skating”. The director and I shared this same opinion when we wrote the series.

Yeah this one is just here for me to go, thanks for the further evidence that Victor was originally meant to retire! Miss me with that “Yuuri skates for Victor” thing though, Yuuri deserves better than that. 

Yurio’s FS is still incomplete, but I wanted to show how he was able to obtain a new strength and elegance thanks to the presence of Lilia, Yakov, his grandpa and JJ as a rival. I also depicted his aggressive side when he changes the composition of the program to win, and the fact that he still isn’t able to win against JJ, which is another trial that he needs to overcome.

This is here as an example of what I mean when I say that an author’s intentions are all well and good but the work needs to speak for itself. In this case, JJ was never a trial for Yurio to overcome. He was set up as such, but Yurio never actually had to win against him because JJ ended up self-destructing in the end.

In a meeting with the director I asked her a very basic question: “Why does Yuuri want to win?”, and she replied “Well, he has never won a gold medal so far, of course he wants to win!”. I thought that made sense. Yuuri, who has never won an international competition, wants to win a gold medal before retiring. The “origin” of his desire to win is in fact pretty simple. He has been able to work hard so far because he wants to win a gold medal and is confident that he is good enough to succeed. I inserted that monologue because, even though Yuuri might look weak, he actually has been fighting the whole time.

First of all WHAT? You’re the main writer of the series! You should know your main character’s motivations! How do you not know? How could you have been writing him without knowing it? That’s basic character building! Second of all, she apparently doesn’t know her own characters at all. Because Yuuri Katsuki is not confident! This is a character trait AND a plot point, that’s repeatedly mentioned by other characters and by Yuuri himself! W H A T?!

Keep reading

Earth houses 2nd house, 6th house, 10th house
Material Trinity 

Natural resources, talent, and devotion unify with hard work to reach the ultimate potential

2nd house - succeedent house (material development, life experience)
internal wealth, sensory experience, assets 
the home of taurus. favourtised by venus, moon, cancer, libra. jupiter also likes the 2nd house because it likes to satisfy desires. it can also increase the size and depth of the inner world. saturn also likes the earthy activity of the 2nd house and manifestation of internal desire into materialism 
conflicts with pluto, scorpio. difficult for the vagueness of neptune 

6th house - cadent house (combining internal and external views of reality)
relationship of mind with body, supportive role, routine daily life
the home of virgo. favourtised by mercury. saturn can like the structure and mineral intimacy of the 6th house. 
conflicts with neptune. jupiter can feel restrained. mars and sun in the 6th can be overwhelmed with the contention of self and other 

10th house/midheaven - angular house (self and relationship)
social acclaim, institutional recognition, the ultimate aspiration
the home of capricorn. favourtised by saturn, venus. the sun is comfortable in the 10th house because it can really shine. 
conflicts with moon, mars. 


art: Lauren Saxton


Blue Origin recently revealed the interior of their New Shepard crew capsule which the company hopes to fly next year. New Shepard will carry up to six people on an 11-minute suborbital flight high above Texas.

A computer tablet mounted on the corner of each massive four-foot wide window will provide external and internal camera views, map views, and mission data to each flyer. Each flight will experience around four minutes of weightlessness. The capsule’s interior is sparse, maximising the available space for microgravity acrobatics. 

The entire flight will be monitored by Launch Control on the ground, and there will not be any bulky control equipment. A black table-like structure in the capsule’s center is actually the Launch Escape Motor required in the event of a launch abort.

P/C: Blue Origin


Something I’ve been wanting to blog about for a long time…hopefully the words flow from my fingers and my brain doesn’t leave things out or convolute, like it usually does.

When I first started finding out about MBTI (Myers-Briggs Type Indicator), a person told me, “You know that stuff doesn’t work.  It’s not real.  You can’t fit everyone into a neat little box like that.”  Back then I was just having fun with it and even thought I was an INTJ.  Today I have a reply for that and here it goes.

If MBTI has taught me anything, it’s just how significantly different everyone really is.  Study of the functions can teach how each type works, then within that you have healthy and unhealthy functions.  On top off that comes the Enneagram, tri-type (I literally know nothing about this), and instinctual variants.  Plus you can’t forget different regions, different experiences, differences in physiology, differences in knowledge, and the list goes on.

MBTI is not about fitting people into boxes, it’s about getting to understand how someone you know thinks.  For example, “UGH…I did it ONE TIME!  ONE TIME!  Why does my wife not give me a break on this????”  Well, her Si (Introvert Sensing) tells her that every man she’s been with has done it, stereo-typically all men do it, and that’s “just the way it is”.  It rarely leaves room for her to see that I haven’t done it since.  It eases my frustration to know this information instead of listening to myself and thinking, “She’s doing it just to make me angry.”  It helps me to remember I need to remain calm, not get mad at her for it, and give her Si time to accept that I changed.

I do have to say though, if you follow the MBTI stereotypes, then it can seem like a big steaming pile of…  The thing about stereotypes, is that they’re an external view of the situation, they generalize all people of that type as fitting that stereotype, and they don’t allow people to be who they really are.  It greatly complicates the whole thing and is detrimental to proper typing.

TL;DR:  MBTI is not about the stereotypes, but getting to know people and where they come from on the things they say and do.


Muss es sein? (2015)

I think one of the most detrimental ways of thinking is the mindset of “That’s just the way it is.” In my experience, it’s been used to justify refusing to listen to any perspective or point of view external to one’s own, immediate set of knowledge. “Muss es sein?” translates, from German, to “Must it be?” For me, it’s my reminder to consistently question unjust structures, as well as harmful circumstances in which any change is seen as an impossibility, or sacrificed in favor or keeping things the way they are, or as they have been. It’s my reminder to keep going. And to always challenge. And to never accept, “That’s just the way it is.”

morally-ambiguous-llama  asked:

Ok but... someone else likes Andou too i feel so validated... still annoyed at how the narrative treated her when she was such a well developed character. Honestly Andou as a survivor would have made Hope Arc taste just a *little* better in my mouth, and it's kinda sad that people go on long rants about how she is The Worst. Andou deserved better is basically what im saying

I think people give her a hard time because the narrative introduced this really interesting, complicated character and then did nothing with her. Had she actually participated in the main story instead of just giving Kirigiri a pointless mystery to solve, I think less people would complain about her.

Also fandom in general doesn’t seem to cope well with ambiguity. A common complaint I hear is that “mean/bully characters are BAD!” but then you have other characters who are mean or bully others that are super popular. The reason this happens is because characters like Komaeda or Togami or Ouma (presumably) get some kind of backstory that clearly exists to balance out their behavior. The tragic backstory contextualizes their behavior and often makes fans feel more connected to the character.

Andou doesn’t get an FTE where she clearly lays out the reasons for her trust issues. Instead, the viewer has to put the pieces together themself: Andou has a pathological aversion to betrayal; even as a child, her sense of self-worth comes from seeking external validation; she views herself in a utilitarian light–she is only as good as the sweets she produces; her issues are so severe that she can’t believe that even the man she’s known her entire life truly loves her; her guilt-induced suicide was the most brutal and horrific.

If you stop and actually think about these points for longer than five seconds, it becomes really obvious that something happened to her at some point, most likely during childhood, to help shape her this way.

But because it isn’t completely explicit, fandom acts like it doesn’t exist. Nope, she’s just an evil person with no depth whatsoever.

Some people don’t like her just because, and that’s totally fine, but she isn’t just some pure evil bitch twirling her metaphorical mustache–she’s a damaged human being, and it’s a shame the story went out of its way to downplay that.

anonymous asked:

in some ways i am emotionless. I see why other people are feeling that way, i understand the reasons but i dont feel affected (etc. my classmate started crying on her birthday. It is sad but... she's not close to me). If i am dealIng with sb really close to me or anything with important matter to me, i get more emotional than most people. Maybe bcs i overthink, than i am too deep in complexity. However, almost never i voluntarily let people see if i'm moved (esp. by genuine emotion) -crying intj

INTJs and Opening Up (Part I)

I feel the same. I get very emotional over things that are dear to me, but might end up looking emotionless if I’m trying to solve a problem that doesn’t directly involve emotions. For us INTJs, it’s very hard to share our feelings with others, as if we feared that they’d never truly understand. And most of the time, they don’t truly get what we feel, or why, even if we try to explain it to them. 

However, if they care about us, that won’t matter. Even if they can’t get in our heads, they’ll try their best to be close to us and figure out how to make us happy, or sad. They’ll hugely appreciate hearing about what’s inside our heart. With the right people, the scary leap of opening up is always worth it.

It’s also a matter of wanting to make sense all the time. Emotions seem sometimes irrational to us, and we don’t like to be seen as irrational. But from an external point of view, we’d simply be seen as somewhat soft - because let’s face it, it’s what we actually are. Shouldn’t we just embrace it then?

Part II


I still kind of wish we got to see more than 5 out of the 13. it’s wild that the team had already nailed the memetically sticky MYTHICness of the recurrence already by issue 2

We saw Inanna, Tara, Morrigan and Sakhmet’s transformations from an external point of view.

We haven’t seen Baal, Minerva, Amaterasu or Dionysus’s at all, although the transcript of Luci’s interview is included the immediate aftermath of Amaterasu’s.

(I also still wish there were Year One cover style portraits of Minerva, Urdr & Sakhmet to complete the set.)

Why I Like the Phasma novel: a non-exhaustive review

Interesting Narrative Structure

The novel’s structure may be the most off-putting thing for people, depending on one’s expectations for what the book would give you. It is not so much Phasma’s story as the story of a story about Phasma. Her background is almost entirely revealed as a third-hand account, in fits and starts. The framing plot happens sometime prior to the events of TFA and after the events of Bloodline. Resistance spy Vi Moradi has been captured by Captain Cardinal of the F.O. She ends up recounting to him a story recounted to her by Siv, a member of Phasma’s former clan who was an eyewitness to events that occurred on their home-planet of Parnassos ten years prior.

If you wanted material that gets inside Phasma’s mind, there is practically none here. The only segment from Phasma’s POV is the epilogue. This was fine and interesting for me, because I have never been that attached to Phasma beyond her connection to Finn, being gay for Gwen, and appreciating that this Cool Toy Character got to be played by a woman rather than Beetlejuice Cottonswab yet another man. I also fell in love with Vi, Cardinal, and Siv, was drawn into the plot of the framing device, and was satisfied with how the novel fleshed out Phasma and helped me understand her, while never making her sympathetic.

Vi Moradi & Captain Cardinal: Life Ruiners

Vi Moradi (identified before the novel’s release as “Amaka”) is a cunning mid-to-late thirty-something Resistance spy, codename “Starling,” who has been captured, interrogated, and escaped many times in her line of work and  likes to knit amateur sweaters for her senator brother while she’s in hyperspace. She has an eidetic memory and is an amazing storyteller. She is the book. 

Captain Cardinal is the highest-ranking stormtrooper after Phasma. He grew up on Jakku until as young teen he left as one of Brendol’s original proto-troopers. Now around forty years old, he is in charge of the youngest recruits to the program, training them in the academy on the Star Destroyer Absolution until they are graduated to Phasma’s finishing academy on the…Finalizer (HA). His capture and questioning of Vi is unauthorized and off books, known only to his droid pal, a floating unit nicknamed Iris.

He is also complete crap at interrogation. Vi barely even has to manipulate him into taking off his helmet, he has no poker face, and she thinks of him as a “softie” (an actual quote) because he only electrocutes her a few times, rather than also beating her up. She quickly gains the psychological upper hand, even as who Cardinal is as a person challenges her perceptions of the First Order. Both of them tell themselves that the human connection that happens between them is merely them trying to play the other to get what they want (escape, information), but they end up truly liking and respecting each other. I eat up this type of dynamic, so I was hooked early on.

I did not at all expect to fall in love with Cardinal like I did. But he is a Ciena Ree-style idealist, who distrusts Phasma and doubts her loyalty to the First Order out of concern for the children in his charge and sincere belief that the First Order will bring justice to the Galaxy. As well as being a fascinating character in his own right, he is a treasure-trove of context for Finn’s pre-TFA life. There are multiple scenes of baby First Order stormtroopers, as well as descriptions of the stormtrooper program from both an internal and external point of view (Cardinal undoubtedly knew and would remember Finn as well :’). We also get to witness Cardinal’s poignant struggle with his conditioning, as the story Vi tells challenges his beliefs about Brendol Hux and the First Order.

I’m Always A Slut For Dystopias

Parnassos is a planet that experienced some kind of apocalypse whose nature has been forgotten by Phasma’s small clan. Phasma and her brother Keldo are the co-rulers of the Scyre. Siv, the main character of these segments, is on of Phasma’s warriors as well as the clan’s healer–a semi-sacred job handed down to her by her mother. Brendol Hux’s crash just outside their territory triggers an dystopian wildnerness journey for Phasma, Siv, and their companions that slowly unfolds the larger picture on Parnassos and what led to its downfall. I don’t want to go into too much detail with the Parnassos segments because I enjoyed experiencing that along with them. Siv is a fierce warrior, as they all must be, but she is also highly empathetic. One of my favorite examples of this is her recognition that their shutdown of a group of droids they encounter on their way is in fact the destruction of a civilization of people.

Classic Star Wars Crap [I started getting tired here, lol]

Masks and Family, amirite? The Scyre use war masks which are almost a part of them. There are a couple scenes where Cardinal practically converses with his helmet. Late in the novel we learn that no one in the F.O. (who is still alive) has ever seen Phasma’s face. Vi’s biggest vulnerability is her older brother Baako. Phasma’s relationship with her brother Keldo is key to understanding her. Siv is partly driven by the familial bonds she’s forged with her fellow Scyre. Thanks to Brendol Hux’s spectacular narcissism, Cardinal and Armitage Hux have a toxic, unconsciously faux-sibling rivalry which Phasma disrupts and exploits upon her arrival in the First Order.

Some scattered closing thoughts

I know that I’m more interested in new minor eu characters than many folks, and understandably this rather elliptical, often bleak read won’t be everyone’s cup of tea (Or other readers might have more interest in interrogating the potentially unreliable narrators than I do). I do think that in giving insight into both the First Order and two rivals who grew up on devastated worlds, it can help us better understand main characters like Finn, and Rey who were shaped by those respective environments.

There are two cryptic Rae Sloane references(!!!).

The book ends ambiguously, but–as all Star Wars stories should–with hope.

shea-gardienne  asked:

I don't always have time to read the forums sob ;; but what are some of the theories the players have of Erika's origins? (Also I love how you keep changing your blog's title lol it makes my day)

(mflfjjhfghlhg thanks i cant wait for chrome to say smth weird again or for the eng translators (or google) to translate smth questionably again so it can become my new blog title)

2 posts that i liked recently !

about leiftan and gardienne being soulmates :

“[…] we know that he’s a Lorialet, potentially related to the moon.

So, in greek mythology, the goddess of the moon, Selene, had a human husband named Endymion. She had fifty daughters with him and one son. This son is supposed to be the father of the Lorialet race, basically.

Except that, and that’s where it gets interesting, Selene had a soulmate in the true sense of the word, in the person of her brother Helios, and her sister Eos (the sun and the dawn), who had several children on their side.

One of Eos’s son and one of Helios’s daughter fell in love. Except that their parents were against their union. Since they condemned this union but didn’t really know how to separate them, they asked Selene and Hecate to cast a spell on their children to separate them. Selene suggested one particular spell to Hecate : every children of the couple would be trapped in the body of a dragon. It worked pretty well, except that one child was already born and so this child became a dragon (his children were dragons too) that Selene’s descendants basically had to serve (and many Lorialets ended up with their personal dragon, that were able to take a human form. Like soulmates do).

Assuming that Eldarya’s storyline follows greek mythology, and that Gardienne is indeed Leiftan’s soulmate, it could mean that she has dragon blood.[…]”

about gardienne’s eyes color :

“[…] for me, her eyes are of a amethyst color. […] amethyst dragons are the most mythical ones. […] here’s what i found on their subject :

“Amethyst dragons are wise and majestic. They sometimes act as mediators in the conflicts between dragons and even between humanoid civilisations at war”.

I think it describes Gardienne’s role pretty well, when she acts as an “external point of view” during the debate between Miiko and Huang Hua, as a mediator between the Balenvians and the Myconides, she’s in the middle between the masked man and the El Guard ; maybe she will later be the key during the war between Eldarya and the humans who are causing trouble.”

Mastering Your Inner Shadows: Taking Unbiased Personal Inventory

I have heard many times from people I know that they just can’t be happy. The line I have been given most often is ‘If only ____ would change’ or ‘I hate my life. How can I be happy when everything sucks?’

These, forgive me for speaking so bluntly, are excuses. There is only one thing barring any of us from being happy, and that is ourselves. Everything else is only an excuse, and only ever will be. There are many ways to arrive at your own happiness, and countless more to make it, but if ever a person blames a place, an action, another person, or anything other than themselves for their unhappiness, they are only lying to themselves. All emotions and reactions start with you, and ultimately that means they can only end with you. This sounds a lot harsher and colder than it really is, but please be patient as I explain this:

Now mind you, this is not a truth everyone is ready to hear or accept, and that is perfectly fine. All paths lead home, so no worries there. For some people, the idea of taking blame themselves, or admitting that they are the ultimate cause of their own unhappiness or actions and reactions, is just too large of a leap at present. After all, to accept this reality is to accept that there is truly nobody else to blame for your actions and state of mind aside from yourself. That is a tough pill to swallow! Believe me, I know!

I don’t want anyone reading this and thinking ‘sure you can say that. You must not have ever experienced anything significantly traumatic, painful, or unfair.’ The truth is, this is the opposite. In fact, I have experienced my share of horrific things, and been treated poorly by people I thought I should be able to trust. I was miserable, and blamed everyone around me for it, but this only made me feel worse. It was time for a change, because I could not bear the idea that I was never truly happy. Here is what I did:

First, I came to the understanding that if I wanted to be happy and content, I was going to have to make it myself. It would not be handed to me, or given to me via chemical cocktails. Fake it until you make it, if you will. This was my stepping stone to the practice I have learned to adapt to my life now. When I felt down, I would smile and laugh, and do something to distract the thoughts. It worked to a degree, but always fell apart.

That made me want to give up as it seemed a failure, but I was not willing to continue to suffer. I decided to start taking time each day, first thing in the morning, then again before bed, to evaluate my mind, my day, and my mood. In doing this I could analyze my own patterns, the events of the day, and my own reactions to everything that happened. This started to show me some patterns I had, and that was rather ugly to look at. That being said, honesty and frankness are very much required for this.

I began listing my reactions and the triggers, then looked at what my part was in the situation. It always ended the same – it all boiled down to me. I was the one reacting and holding onto grudges and hate. The more I did this, the more I started to see why. Something would happen that felt like an attack against me, and whether it was intentionally so or not, it was me who blew up and refused to move past the issue after it had passed. I even reacted adversely to injustices I would see in the world, and it further rooted my hate for humanity as a whole. That was the first thing I knew had to go.

I started inventorying every reaction, thought, and feeling that floated across my mind. This was very tiring, but was also the only way I knew I could learn to change my behaviors and emotions. I started getting better and better at realizing when I was taking things to offense for no reason, and stopped my behavior, apologizing immediately and stating what I had done wrong. This was not easy, and it used to annoy me to do so. However, the more I did this, the easier it became. My mind started to retrain to process faster when I was overreacting, and even more when a feeling or emotion was a passing glitch.  Not all of my feelings were triggered by anything, but rather were stray intrusive thoughts and energies. This made it easier to break it down to an unfounded, illogical reaction to nothing, and dismiss it quicker. I found that my anger, rage, depression, distrust, fear, and misery were all my creations, and as such, within my realm to dismiss.

Allow me add this now, as I know it will be misinterpreted by some; I would have misinterpreted it myself if I heard this from someone else before: This method does not get rid of emotion, reactions, or anything of the like. It helps you see patterns, and detect when you are slipping, and allows you to correct it before it gets out of hand. It helps you find your peace, center, and/or happiness, and keep it in spite of unfavorable events or people. This does not make you perfect, and as such you should never punish yourself for mistakes, or for not properly executing your practice.

A situation, person, action, or any other external force can be the catalyst to your feelings and thoughts, but it is always your choice how you process these experiences. No person or action is ever capable of making a person do or hold onto something in any manner. You are allowed to feel, and you will always do that. As such, reactions and mistakes are perfectly natural and normal, but if a person holds onto the painful, offensive, or any other action or energy, that is always their choice – conscious or subconscious – it is always your choice to continue to suffer.

There will be times where you just want to feel the emotions, or where you have to just emote all over the place – logical or otherwise. This is perfectly fine! You did not fail, you are not a fuck up, and you are not doing anything wrong. This method is just to help you find your center again, even after you fall to pieces. It helps you to find your role in everything that happens in and around your life. It helps you take responsibility for your life, mind, spirit, and reactions, and thus learn to behave more balanced and harmoniously with yourself and your world around you.

In no way is this to shame people who are intense, emotive, or reactive, but this is just a guideline for those who are tired of feeling stuck in their own emotional prisons. This is for those who want to seek the Truth, not their own renditions of what ‘truth’ is. Remember, truths are relative – they are always variant from person to person, belief to belief, and that is fine. This is just designed to help you learn to simply be and observe the world and its experiences, without judging, condemning, or getting bogged down in it.

Once you master your mind, your emotions, you can then learn how to step back and view any incident and experience from an external observer view – you can more easily see everything, both amazing and atrocious, from both sides of the fence. It affords a certain degree of freedom and understanding, though it may do little to dispel your disappointments in decisions, and even less in halting your compassions and empathies for those suffering. This is designed to help you grow and learn, and to understand and empathize with everyone and everything that dwells here with you, not stop you from feeling in general. You may find yourself fall back into old patterns on occasion, but you will also find that it gets easier and easier to see yourself falter, and to correct it when you are ready to.

This is my method – to understand myself, my mind, my emotions, and how I relate to my environment, and better control and manage my way of being and interacting with it. It helps me to balance myself, and in doing so, allows me to then go and separate the emotional and egotistical components from anything I choose to study. This lets me unbiasedly examine myself and every corner of my mentality, and then fix the problems I find. As such, I can apply those principles and practices to my studies of people, the environment, and the creatures I share this world with. It is a new freedom and compassion that I never thought I was capable of.

You are not required to agree with me, you may even think this is ridiculous, but this has been an amazing journey for me personally, and I simply wish to share it with any who are interested. As always, you are free to come to me with any questions or comments, but leave the unnecessary hate at the door.


What do I do?

When I feel inferior

To the person who I should feel equal to?

What do you do?

What do I do?

When I have to always be tough

Because that’s the way I’m viewed

By external figures?

What do you do?

What do I do?

When I have to act smart

And this really isn’t an art

That I think I can grasp?

What do you do?

What do I do?

When I really just want to be left alone

But saying that to the other person

Can cause issues an a relationship to worsen?

What do you do?

What do I do?

When all I want to do is cry

But the sky is sunny

My nose shouldn’t be runny

An I need to act like everything around me is funny?

What do you do?

What do I do?

When I have no answers for my questions

And my Lord is silent tho I know he listens

What do you do?



By; Teik

Hope I get an answer 🙂 read enjoy share ✌

Action & Spiritual Experimentation: Black, White & Red - the Regal, Active & Virile Path of Tradition

Taken from The Path of Cinnabar by Julius Evola.

[…] The full title of my book was The Doctrine, Symbols and Regal Art of the Hermetic Tradition (La tradizione ermetica nella sua dottrina, nei suoi simboli e nella sua Arte Regia). What I chiefly focused on was alchemical Hermetica. These texts consist of those works of mythical origin which are first recorded in the Hellenistic period in Greek and Syriac form. This tradition was later continued by the Arabs, from whose hands it reached the European West, where it flourished in the Sixteenth and Seventeenth centuries, up to the dawn of modern scientific chemistry.

From an external point of view, all the texts of this ancient doctrine discuss chemical and metallurgic operations - particularly the production of gold, of the philosophers’ stone and of the elixir of wisdom. The practical and operative side of this discipline was termed the hieratic or regal art; it was expressed by means of both a coded and symbolic language that sounded obscure to profane ears, and of the myths of Classical Antiquity. Naturally enough, modern culture interpreted alchemy as an infantile, superstitious and myth-loving sort of chemistry - something of interest to the historian of science, but which had certainly been rendered obsolete by the advent of scientific chemistry. A similar analysis, however, ignores what Hermetic authors have always made clear: that their writings are not to be taken literally, for they are written in a secret language. Hermetic authors claimed to be writing only for themselves and for those who already know, as their secret doctrine can exclusively be learned from a Master or by means of sudden enlightenment. Moreover, it is also evident that the basic worldview shared by Hermetic authors - their understanding of nature and of man - radically differs from that of modern science; and that it rather coincides with the worldview of Gnosticism, theurgy, magic, and of all ancient hieratic doctrines. In other words, it is clear that alchemy pertains to an altogether different spiritual realm from that of ordinary chemistry.

I sought to pursue a systematic study of the Hermetic and alchemical tradition in order to emphasize its true essence as an initiatory science concealed by the use of chemical and metallurgic language. In my work, I pointed out that the substances mentioned in alchemical texts are actually symbols embodying the energies and forces present in man and nature (nature which is here approached sub specie interioritatis, in its hyper-physical aspects). The various alchemical operations are essentially concerned with the initiatory transformation of the human being. Alchemical ‘gold’ is a metaphor for the immortal and invulnerable being, here conceived in terms of the aforementioned theory of conditioned immortality, which is to say: not as a given, but rather as something which is to be obtained by means of a secret procedure. On the whole, alchemy is founded on a specific cosmology and a symbolic operative system.

What I have just said applies to the most genuine and essential side of the alchemical tradition, stripped of its dross and of secondary or accessory components. The 'dross’ of alchemy consists of the speculations and endeavors of those individuals who have mistakenly taken alchemical symbolism literally, and have performed all sorts of material tasks and disorderly experiments - which can indeed be described as infantile and pre-scientific attempts at chemistry. The true 'sons of Hermes’, however, dubbed such people 'coal-burners’, to signify that they were nothing but profane practitioners who might lead the true science of alchemy to its ruin.

As for the secondary or accessory components of alchemy, these consist in the possibility of actually changing matter: for instance, by transforming metals, but by very different means from those of modern science - by means, that is, of altering matter 'from within’, thanks to supra-normal abilities closely related to the internal self-transformation of the initiate (this being the chief purpose of the alchemical art).

In the light of these aims of the regal art, any 'psychological’ and psychoanalytic interpretation of alchemy, of the kind which has recently been suggested, clearly appears inadequate. Alchemy has nothing to do with the products of the subconscious, with images of libido or with the involuntary and compulsive manifestation of Jungian 'archetypes’ on the unreal and subjective level of the human psyche. Rather, alchemical processes are concrete operations possessing genuine power and deriving from specific forms of knowledge. An emphasis on these features of alchemy is what informed my own treatment of the subject.

The purpose of my book, however, was not only to provide an interpretation of alchemical Hermeticism from an initiatory perspective, but also to focus on alchemy as the embodiment of one of the two chief paths of Tradition: the regal, active and virile path - the other being the priestly, or ascetic and contemplative, path. Alchemical Hermeticism certainly placed an emphasis on the practical and operative side of the Art, and hence on action and spiritual 'experimentation’. The very name most frequently given to alchemy is revealing in this sense: alchemy is the ars regia, the regal art. But more revealing still are the stages of alchemical self-realization. According to all texts, the alchemical Great Work consists of three main phases, symbolized by three different colors: black, white and red, which correspond to the phases of nigredo, albedo and rubedo respectively. Nigredo, also known as the 'blackening’, roughly corresponds to the death of the physical 'I’, and to the transcendence of the limits of ordinary individuality. Albedo, or the 'whitening’, represents the ecstatic opening experienced by the initiate, his experience of light, but merely in a passive manner - which is why this phase is also known as the rule of the Woman or of the Moon. Albedo is then transcended when one reaches the final and most perfect stage in the alchemical process: rubedo or the 'reddening’, which consists of the reaffirmation of the virile, sovereign nature - so that the Woman is overcome by the rule of Fire and of the Sun. Some Hermetic authors explicitly link the color red to regal or imperial purple.