Telling me not to get tattoos is the same as saying “Don’t rap” or “Don’t dance”. I express my mind through these kinds of things.

Jay Park

Quote for today. From a handful of years ago after he received criticism over his ever growing collection of tattoos. I thought it only fitting given the recent criticism of CAP’s tattoos.

You don’t understand how hard i loved the last one. My love was almost endless; i meant every word i said but the thing is he didn’t mean forever and he did get sick of me he didn’t want me anymore and i would have been okay keeping him forever, but things didn’t work out and that’s how it goes. I spent months and months trying to tell myself to stop loving him, eventually after at least 300 pages of paper wasted on him, i stopped. But when I stopped, my heart shut down as well. You see, i was crying over who he was when he was in love with me, not the person he actually turned into. And i don’t know; he changed every aspect of me because he was the only person i wanted at the time, but he spat out words like “you’re too sad.” and “we aren’t the same.” that stabbed me in the chest over and over again. When i love someone, i am practically asking them to kill me. There will be no blood or guns, just heavy, heartbreaking texts and me falling apart once again. What i’m trying to say is; i am content with the strong human i have become through all of this and i am afraid if i love you, i will be destroyed once more and i don’t think i could ever deal with it again. You are so into me, maybe too into me because i can tell just from the way your eyes fixate onto mine that you love me. and that terrifies me. I’m not going to be everything you need, or want. I don’t know how to love still, but i can guarantee when i fall in love with you, you will fall out of love with me.


What are the major themes you pursue in your work?
I usually work with traditional themes and subjects. They already have a historic charge that I take advantage of, but when I paint them, I try to apply contemporary plastic treatments to create a new meaning and make them more evocative, even though I do not consider myself a conceptual painter.

Join us inside the studio of Carlos San Millan