exploding sharks

anonymous asked:

A scenario where the reader is a Konoha shinobi who uses a sword and is forced to fight Kisame during the war?

Thank you for the request and hope you like it! :D

Reader facing off with Kisame during the War

The screams of your comrades falling alerted you to the new threat on the battlefield. You turned quickly towards the direction, flying through the trees. You didn’t have time to notify others, knowing your comrades’ lives were endanger.

You rushed and when you were in eye sight, you saw the opponent was tearing your comrades apart. You took a quick inhale of breath in shock.

There was no doubt; your opponent was Kisame Hoshigaki of the Hidden Mist, one of the Seven Ninja Swordsmen. You recognized him from the bingo book that was passed out at the start of the war. He was known for his blade Samehada, shark’s skin, that absorbed chakra and transferred the chakra to him.

You were lucky however that Kisame did not have the blade with him, but that did not make him any else lethal. You knew he had many jutsu up his sleeve and was a skilled shinobi since he was a member of the Akatsuki. He was not to be taken lightly.

Plus, what makes this predicament even more dangerous was that Kisame was reanimated. He couldn’t be killed or stopped unless they sealed him. You braced yourself on a tree branch, your heart aching as you watched Kisame take down a sand shinobi.

You gulped, it was going to be difficult to restrain him long enough to put the sealing tags you had on him, but you knew you had to try.

The longer you waited, the longer you looked like a coward. You couldn’t afford that. You were a shinobi from the Hidden Leaf. You had to make your village proud and you also needed to help your comrades.

Pushing off the branch that you were on, you landed throwing shuriken at Kisame with a plan in mind. Kisame didn’t even block the attack, letting the metal stars stab him. A shrew of bodies lay on the floor beneath him and his yellow eyes became set on their next target, you.

You steadied yourself as Kisame scoffed, pulling the shuriken from his body. The wounds instantly healing from the dust particles in the air.

“I guess you’re next,” Kisame spoke, roughly. “I hope you’ll put in a bit more of a fight than these fellows. Hope you didn’t know any of them, heh, heh.”

You gritted your teeth, crouching a little lower.

“Heh, I see, so you did know them. Sorry, it would have ended more quickly if someone hadn’t stolen my blade,” Kisame cackled, unapologetic sounding.

“No worries, I’ll end you soon,” you spoke confident, drawing the sword from your lower back.

Kisame scowled watching you as you readied your weapon and held up a hand sign.

“Ninja art, Clone jutsu,” you called as a second one of you appeared.

Kisame snickered, not at all impressed as you and your clone zigzagged forward.

Kisame prepared himself, avoiding the swipe of your blade easily before he expertly struck at you and your clone. You fell to the floor in a heap as your clone dispersed upon contact.

“Heh, my turn now. Water Style: Water Shark Bullet,” Kisame crackled in excitement.

The water in the air materialized into a shark before your eyes. You scrambled to your feet quickly, as the shark sprang forward. You dodged as fast as you could as it chased after you with incredible speed. You knew you couldn’t out run it for long as you performed hand signs before turning around to face the shark with a swipe of your blade.

Your attack only stalled the shark for a moment as it replenished the water missing from its form from where you stroke. You stood unsure if you had beaten the shark when the shark darted forward again.

Suddenly, you were caught in the shark’s jaws and you could hear Kisame freely chuckling in the background at your demise.

“Not so much of a challenge you are,” Kisame spoke amused, before his eyes widened in surprise.


Kisame scrunched his eyes, realizing you had replaced yourself with a log within his shark’s teeth. Before Kisame had time to react, you dove at Kisame from up above. You blade struck down on Kisame’s back as you placed your hand covertly on his shoulder blade at the same time.

Kisame stalled, swaying on his feet as you jumped back, having left you blade in Kisame’s back.

You eyed Kisame not letting your guard down.

Kisame was still and as the seconds ticked by, you thought you managed to stop him.


Kisame lifted his head, his sharp teeth on display for you in a wicked smile. “That would have tickled if I were alive,” Kisame chuckled, before cocking his head.

Suddenly you were gripped by Kisame’s water shark. You yelped as the shark’s teeth sank into your flesh, tainting the water of the shark red. You gritted your teeth. You had been so stupid not to be watching out for the shark. The jutsu was never dispersed and you had forgot about it.

Kisame hummed in delight as he slowly pulled the blade from his back but found it stuck. A look of confusion crossed his features as he pulled harder at the blade but realized he was pulling up some of his flesh out with it.

“You’re not the only one with fancy blades,” you managed to say as you brought your hands up to perform the snake hand sign.

Kisame became alarmed but had no time to react as the paper bomb you left on his shoulder exploded. The water shark that was holding you captive disintegrated into water at your feet. Huffing and holding your sides as you stood up. You limped over to Kisame’s form.

The dust particles from his reanimated body floated in the air. Only his pair of legs and a small part of his middle section stood upon the ground. You approached Kisame desecrated form, pulling out the sword from the lower half of his body that the blade was still stuck in.

You ripped it out, seeing the two fish-like hook blades jarring out of your thick blade. You pressed a button on the side of the handle on your blade and the fish-like hooks retracted into the blade. You placed your weapon on you back again before pulling out three paper seals.

You watched dazedly, the sudden blood loss making your head light as Kisame’s upper body slowly materialized. When it appeared, you placed the seal on his chest, another on his abdomen, and as his head reappeared, you placed it on his forehead.

With quick hand gestures, you activated the seal as Kisame’s consciousness returned for a moment to see the seal being placed on him.

“Guess you were worthy opponent after all,” Kisame claimed as his body went numb and he faded from the reanimated body.

You were breathing heavily, looking up into Kisame’s face. You fell to your knees as blood trickled down your mouth. Your body fell backwards at the foot of Kisame’s being, your eyes rolling to the back of your head. You last remaining thought was this was your end.

I’m watching the 1966 Batman movie and it is without a doubt, the funniest shit I’ve watched in a long time. How can you not love a film with such lines as…

“Oh you and your trained exploding sharks!”

“What weighs 6 ounces, sits in a tree and is dangerous?”…. “A sparrow with a machine gun!”

“What a noble creature, that porpoise, for throwing itself into the path of that torpedo.”

That must have been one baked script department.


Last night, Museum scientists and members of the Tumblr community came together in the Milstein Hall of Ocean Life for an evening of exhibitions, cocktails, and Speed Science! 

The night began with an after-hours look at the Museum’s newest special exhibition, Life at the Limits: Stories of Amazing Species, followed by a screening of Shelf Life, the Museum’s monthly video series.  

Then came the Speed Science.

Modeled after speed dating, tables were set up under the iconic blue whale, with one Museum scientist per table. Party-goers filled in the rest of the seats and learned about topics ranging from fossil sharks, to exploding stars, to salamander symbiosis. Conversation took place over tables crowded with pinned insects, crocodile eggs, and microscopes, until ding! A timer signaled the end of the five minute round, and everyone headed to the next table. Timed rounds lasted for an hour, and when the Speed Science ended, scientist and guests just kept on going! 

Thanks to everyone who came to the event last night, we hope you learned some cool new stuff, and thanks to the wonderful Tumblr staff for collaborating with us on such a fun event!

[19: iwaoi] the art of small victories

“There’s this friendship game that’s popular among kids lately,” Tooru says.

“Not this again.”

Walking home together when they’re not on proper speaking terms is a slippery affair; one wrong word and years of pulling away in the nick of time would go to waste. 

“Two friends turn their backs to each other and the first one moves away as many steps as they wish. Then, the first one has to stealthily walk back. The other has to turn around just as the first one has made the last step and is standing behind their back.”

“That’s stupid.”

“It’s said that if you fail to do this, or if your friend has to wait for more than four seconds, they will disappear forever.”

This isn’t what they should be talking about; this make-believe story Tooru has coined in his mind while he hummed by Hajime’s side. They should talk about how Hajime kissed him two days ago and how they’ve been running away from each other since. 

“How eerie for a kid game.”

Tooru stops walking. Hajime feels the absence of his movement like a thorn in his side; unnatural, prickling. He ceases moving too. 

“Let’s do it, Iwa-chan.”

“You’re not even listening to me,” Hajime groans, half turned to Tooru, half ready to break into sprint just to avoid this. Whatever this is. 

In this light, Tooru’s face is smeared with tiny imperfections; a pimple on his chin, bags under his eyes, a cut in his lip where he bit too hard. He gives Hajime a determined look, the kind Hajime doesn’t mind putting his trust in on court. Hajime can’t refuse. This here is Tooru that only he knows. 

“Consider this a chance to get rid of me for good.”

Keep reading

Am I the only one who thinks that people who ask about other people’s scars are extremely rude?

Like, not only is it none of their business, but they are also bringing attention to a flaw that someone might feel incredibly self conscious about. PLUS they could be bringing up bad memories of the event that the scar came from (whether it be an accident or a surgery or something else). Granted, I think that there are some people in the world who just don’t know better, or don’t consider it to be a big deal, but there are others who are just nosey assholes.

I bring this up because, as you might have guessed, I have a scar that people ask about all the damn time. However, I am the type of person who tries to turn lemons into lemonade when possible, so I have fun with it. Nobody knows how I got my scar.Why? Because any time anyone asks, I tell them a different story. Even if it’s the same person asking on multiple different occasions, never the same story twice. I find that it’s a fun way to cope with the insecurities it makes me feel, get people to stop asking, and just mess with people’s heads in general. 

 And so, my fellow scarred warriors, I pass on a list of stories (ranging from somewhat believable to straight up ridiculous) that I have told in the past. They’re all short and blunt sweet and to the point. You are welcome to use them as you please, and you are encouraged to add some of your own to the post! 

  • shark bite
  • animatronic exploded in Disney World and you got hit by some of the shrapnel
  • trying to break up a knife fight
  • literally just laugh and keep laughing until it gets uncomfortable
  • battle scar (do not go into any further detail)
  • *look off into the distance* elves, man. Fuckin’ everywhere
  • pizza man rang the doorbell and you got too excited and ended up falling down the stairs
  • you were trying to cook but gordon ramsay kept fucking yelling
  • “haha you should see the other guy”
  • still trying to get the hang of your lightsaber
  • slippery floor in the saw blades section of home depot
  • starbucks is really great except for when you spill it all over yourself
  • it’s an unfortunate birthmark
  • doctor got his patients mixed up and almost amputated *insert limb here* on accident
  • one morning you just woke up and it was there
  • the remains of an allergic reaction you had to sunscreen
  • the reason that you will never touch a sewing machine again 
  • accidentally got in the way of a game of darts
  • you briefly dabbled in the art of lion taming 
  • you decided to tuck and roll out of a moving car just for the hell of it because yolo
  • things got a little too intense while you were playing wii tennis 
  • aliens
  • “there are just certain things that amateurs shouldn’t do”
  • 12 year old fangirls at concerts are the absolute worst
  • never play hungry hungry hippos ever
  • you worked as a stunt double for a few films but due to your contact, you can’t say which ones
  • rainbow road in mario kart really brings out the worst in people
  • you almost succeeded in building the world’s largest house of cards but…you’d just rather not talk about it
  • “scar? what scar? where exactly are you looking? seriously i don’t see anything, are you feeling okay?”
  • i am completely serious when i say that i will fight anyone who says that leo couldn’t have fit on that door
  • if you go to enough concerts, you’re bound to end up with a scar or two, amiright?