experimenting with templates

“The principal advantage of narrative writing is that it assists us place our life experiences in a storytelling template. The act of strict examination forces us to select and organize our past. Narration provides an explanatory framework. Human beings often claim to understand events when they manage to formulate a coherent story or narrative explaining what factors caused a specific incident to occur. Stories assist the human mind to remember and make decisions based on informative stories. Narrative writing also prompts periods of intense reflection that leads to more writing that is ruminative. Contemplative actions call for us to track the conscious mind at work rendering an accounting of our weaknesses and our strengths, folly and wisdom.” 

― Kilroy J. Oldste

You had one job

The polywog asked, why do women do that thing where they get married and have the normal life for, like, YEARS, and THEN come out as gay and completely ruin the whole family? Why didn’t they just be honest from the beginning?

I’ve known a handful of women who have lived that pattern.

I wouldn’t say destroyed, but certainly it was a shock to the family, and of course they all got divorced and everyone moved on.

But I know why. I bet every woman knows, if they take a moment.

from birth, girls are taught that we have ONE JOB, which is to get married and have a family.

One job.

But then after doing the job, women who don’t fit that template get to realize through experience that really… that template life is kinda overrated. There’s other ways to be happy.

So they do. And the women come out and everyone gets to do what makes them happy.

My parents taught me that I could do anything I wanted to do with my life. It gave me a lot of confidence in my ability to make my own choices, irregardless of what pressures society put on me. My parents were awesome, really.

But, it’s not just parents who teach girls about their one job. It’s books. It’s movies. It’s music. It’s parents of friends, extended family. And peers who have adopted that frame of mind. What else would our peers know but what we’ve been taught?

Omg, how about the grandparents?

When are you going to give us grandchildren?

In fact, I did my one job. Not because I felt pressured, even, but because it is so romanticized by… EVERYONE and EVERYTHING… It actually sounded like fun.

So I did my one job.

And it was fun. I can check that off my list.

And then I discovered there were other ways to live. I could literally do what I wanted. Have relationships with people the way we mutually chose. Ways that fit me better than the template.

So I broke away from the template.

We came out as poly, and I figured, wth, I might as well come out as bi too.

And that’s I know the answer to the question.

Look at me. I had one freaking job, and I went and messed it all up.

Heh heh.

For the record. I’m not very sorry.

Actually. Not at all sorry.