experiencing withdrawals

anonymous asked:

i thought dan's week in march might be about mental health issues but i was surprised by his level of detail when talking about it. any thoughts?

That week in March.. I’m really impressed with Dan for talking about something so personal to him!

i was surprised too. i didn’t even think about the week in march issue as potentially being tied to his mental health (at least not exclusively that) until last week’s live show when he said he would be able to discuss it after ‘tomorrow’ which seemed to indicate after his depression video came out. much like the video itself i think that his candor about the negative side-effects of antidepressants and the type of impacts that can arise if you suddenly stop taking them is incredibly helpful and informative. as someone who has personally experienced those sort of withdrawal symptoms, i thought that his willingness and ability to talk about it so openly was quite a brave thing, and something that i hope will remind people that staying consistent with medication usage is super important and that changing your dosage should only happen gradually and under strict supervision from a doctor. his anecdotal description of what he went through also generally serves to help dilute and break down stigma around discussing psychopharmaceuticals and i’m really grateful to dan for continuing to be brave with those discussions. 

additionally, from the vantage point of someone who has obviously been following him quite closely, his explanation helped to shed light on some of his behavior in march. since the live show ended i’ve spent some time reading back a lot of my posts on his live shows from that month and so much of it just makes a lot of sense when viewed through the lens of someone going through severe withdrawal from his medication and a resultant delirious or dark headspace. he was starkly negative about his audience, and about himself, his work, and his career. he was also more ramble-y and more candid than usual about topics he wouldn’t normally broach including his definition of ‘love,’ the lack of importance in labeling one’s sexuality, his self-identification as a ‘formless blob,’ etc. he went silent for nearly a week on twitter from march 6ish to march 12, and at the same time phil delayed posting a video that he’d promised would be up on march 12 with no explanation. dan also teased a ‘big deal’ video that ended up being about his decision to drop the dinof user name but then decided not to follow through with making it and made isg instead, then responded in an unprecedentedly negative and open manner to people who were disappointed in the vid. 

i’m not saying all of this was related to dan’s mental health at that time, and dan himself said both back then and in today’s live show that he was dealing with these mental health issues on top of an already really stressful and busy schedule. but given that these few weeks he went without meds took enough of a toll that he reiterated that he wanted to talk about the experience on three separate occasions, and he finally did today, it’s safe to assume it really did have a huge impact on the rest of both his and phil’s lives that month. in light of that, i think it’s all the more significant he followed through with discussing it. it was clearly an incredibly difficult and vulnerable time for him, and i’m honestly in awe of his ability to look back on it and laugh at himself a little (honestly how???) as well as decide that it’s something he’s okay talking about publicly. he’s a good dude and he continues to help so, so many people by displaying his vulnerability in these ways.

anonymous asked:

tell us about the most disturbing brain thing you've heard of

Last summer I went on a neurology course, and the medical student that took it was telling us about how in one of his placements he witnessed a baby that was born addicted to heroin. The mother regularly used heroin during the pregnancy which lead to the baby also developing the addiction and thus experienced withdrawal symptoms when they were born. The baby come out shaking with abnormally high pitched cries and had to be specially treated to wean them off the drug :(

She caricatures the person by dismembering him, reducing him, putting him in his place; also scaring herself, giving herself license for anxiety, self-contempt, withdrawal. Experiencing her mind mainly as a means of aggression, as a weapon turned against other people, she w[oul]d want to get rid of her mind. Becoming mindless becomes equated with the ability (the freedom) to love.
But the generalized need to suffer remains. The price never seems to be paid off. Hence, masochistic fantasies—which also fit into a more specifically sexual pattern whereby one needs to feel forced—to feel one has no choice—in order to allow sexual sensation.
—  Susan Sontag, from a journal entry featured in As Consciousness is Harnessed to Flesh: Journals and Notebooks, 1964-1980

Neptune in the 4th house - Holy Home 

“My home is in Heaven. I’m just traveling through this world.”  - Billy Graham

The umbilical cord remains attached to the individual from the mother into the channel of God. The mother is is the thread that connects Neptune in the fourth to the spirit and veil of infinity. To lay cradled in her arms is to feel embraced by heaven, it’s as if the mother is a redeeming force that is worshiped in the eyes of the child. Neptune is godly and curative, although she can also be deceptive and obscure. The mother may have spent long periods absent, been physically or emotionally weak, or suffered mental disturbance. She could have experienced a cult upbringing or felt frequently disappointed by early experiences. And Neptune can be idealistic and fraudulent, so the mother’s lesser qualities can be dissolved by the masquerade of idealization. The fourth house is the astrological symbol of home and heritage. The seduction of Neptune can turn home into a divine temple. It may be a palace of prayer, a sanctuary of escape, a holy haven of alone time with magic.

The inner world is a treasure map of God’s poetry, lucid vision, and angel voices with Neptune in the fourth. Indulging in the riches of her internal spirit is to reunite with her celestial spirit and find a sense of peace. Maybe she can easily fall into the trance of meditation. It can be difficult for her to settle in the physical plane, it’s like you can see the lost child in her eyes, someone who feels abandoned by someone in someway, unequipped for the world, staring on from the outside looking in. She is at one with everything, wandering in search of some place or someone that can define her, fill her in, teach her what resides inside. The residual memories of childhood are replayed through the the individual’s emotional conditioning and responses. The subconscious is deeply attached to the upbringing, but the individual’s recollection of childhood may be vague, short on details, and filled with black spots. She may long for a deeper communion with the mother, as if she feels alone without a guide or model. In the quest for maternal devotion, she may look to television evangelists or follow different spiritual movements to provide her the sense of guardianship she craves. Or the mother may provide a tremendous well of creative genius and inspiration. Maybe she dabbled in mystic arts or displayed a great interest in esoteric subjects. These may be qualities the individual shares with the mother.

Home is where stars shriek, sing, and sparkle with Neptune in the fourth. It is amongst the indulgences of her creature comforts, cherished memories, and lagoon of luxury that she feels most marvelous, immortal, and blessed. The search for a physical home is fused with her quest for a spiritual home, and to locate both is to experience nirvana. This is coming to understand that her essence is that which connects all things, and her home is a place in the clouds, splintering into everything, flickering by the light of Neptune moons. Dane Rudyhar refers to the fourth house as the psychological tap root of the personality. Neptune’s analgesia may be too powerful to resist when she waits so close to consciousness in the fourth house. Maybe there are problems with escapism and social expectations that become expressed through drug problems, withdrawal, or experiencing reality through delusional perceptions. This could even stem back to the conditions around childhood where she may have felt unable to save one of her parent’s from their fall. Neptune is the purple candy that looks ultra sweet but turns to poison on the tongue. She may feel what she deems to be a real family will be the antidote to her pain. As the perfect family portrait will erase the memories and personal complexes. It’s possible for more heartache and disappointment to deride from this when loved ones naturally fail to reach her impossible ideals. The sense of self feels fragmented and splayed across every diamond in the horizon with Neptune in the fourth. Fears may erupt out of nowhere, and knowledge from the skies can be bought to life in the moment she shuts her eyes and rides the dreamboat inside. She is a walking temple of God, a wandering a pilgrimage from morning to evening, the white in her eyes is the bleach from heaven’s light, she is a form of deliverance.


anonymous asked:

prompt; rhys meeting a young angel for the first time ?

this was so pure and fun to write

“Daddy! Daddy, someone’s at the door!”

Jack glanced up from the skag-shaped macaroni and cheese he was making (as well as an episode of his newest telenovela obsession) to see his daughter staring up at him from where she was perched on the couch.

“You expecting someone? A boy, maybe?”

“Ew!” Angel giggled, hiding her blushing face behind a book far above the reading level of the typical seven-year-old. However, Angel was no typical child, and while Jack practically lived for the weekends when his daughter wasn’t staying with his ex, he felt inadequate as a parent, like there was more he should be doing for her. Not having primary custody sure was a pain in the ass.

“Don’t worry, pumpkin,” Jack said, leaving the kitchen and pausing to ruffle Angel’s hair before making his way to the door. “It’s probably just Auntie Nisha.”

Angel perked up at that, the tiny girl having experienced serious withdrawal from her honorary relative due to Nisha’s numerous mayoral duties down on Pandora.

Jack chuckled in amusement as he reached the door, peering through the peephole and expecting to see the all too familiar flash of red fabric of Nisha’s cowboy hat. Instead, he was met with the sight of Rhys. Jack sucked in his breath; Rhys looked pissed, his arms folded over his chest and a scowl on his face. He stole a glance back at Angel, who was regarding him curiously. She knew that Jack liked to keep her existence more or less a secret, and while it was a bit annoying, she believed her dad when he reassured her it was for her safety.

“Jack, open the fucking door. I know you’re in there!”

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anonymous asked:

I couldn't watch Dan's live yesterday, did he really talk about that week in March?????? If so, what is it? what happened? could you help me out? :(

why do i have so many messages like this? hahaha i feel like every blog has talked about it including mine! but to reiterate, dan did discuss what happened in march. he forgot to renew his prescription for antidepressants and therefore went without them for 1-2 weeks (it wasn’t entirely clear from his explanation). in that time he experienced severe withdrawal symptoms and felt physically and mentally ill, while simultaneously having to keep up with professional and social obligations. he basically just talked about how hard that experience was and how it should be a reminder to not procrastinate on refilling ur repeat prescriptions if youre on any kind of meds.

libras are self sacrificial and they can be a very brooding sign. although they are socially well received, libras retain their privacy and tend to be remain closed off emotionally. when they are experiencing difficulty they may withdraw and refuse to share their pain. then they can become angry or resentful of others because they feel that people were not there for them when they needed them most. but not everyone is as psychologically receptive as libra 

B.A.P Reactions/Drabble To You Having A Daddy Kink (Somewhat Smutty?)


You were restless. You reached your hand out to the other side of your bed, only to come up empty. The bed, no-the room, felt cold and empty without him home.

Himchan had been away on tour for 2 months now. You missed him. You missed his silly antics, his warm smile and sassy remarks but on that day in particular there was nothing more that you missed than his touch.

Sex had become both normal and a regular thing in your relationship. That’s why the times he went on tour were always the hardest. You experienced withdrawal.

On that particular night, you were feeling more needy than usual. Your hands trailed across your skin wishing it was his hands instead of your own.

You sighed as you sat up, beyond frustrated. You reached for your phone and dialled Himchan, praying he wasn’t busy.

“Hey Jagiya,” he answered in a warm tone, happy that you called.

“Hey,” you replied biting your lip a bit shyly, “um…are your busy right now? Are the other members there?”

“Hm? Nah, they all went out to eat.”

“You didn’t go?”

“No, I  actually stayed so I could call you. I’m happy you called first though,” he sounded genuinely pleased.

“I,” you paused, not sure how to go about this, “I-um need your help with something Himchan.”

“With what? I’d do anything for you Jagiya,” he said affectionately. 

“I um really need you right now,” you let out an awkward cough. 

“What do you- oh. Oh.”

There was a few seconds of silence, in which you began running your hands down your thighs.

“Are you touching yourself right now?” Himchan asked, his voice a few octaves lower than before.

You didn’t answer and let out a small moan instead as your hand slipped down your panties. 

Fuck,” you heard Himchan, lowly whisper roughly. 

“How about you daddy? Are you touching yourself?” You asked a little breathlessly, the name accidentally slipping past your lips. You weren’t embarrassed though.  You could tell Himchan seemed to like it by the groan he let out upon hearing it. 

“I am now,” he moaned softly, “Y/N you have no idea what you do to me. God knows I’d ravish you if I was there with you.” 

“I wish it was my mouth around your cock instead of your hand.” You’re not sure where the sudden boldness came from, but you didn’t mind it and neither did he.

F-fuck,” after a few more minutes of back and forth traded dirty talk, I’m close Jagiya,” he admitted through gritted teeth. 

“Me too,” you moaned as your fingers began moving more quickly against your core. 

Come for me Jagiya,” Himchan commanded, and you did.

You let out strangled cries of his name as you reached your high, Himchan following closely after.

You were both breathing heavily against the phone, trying to calm yourselves down when you suddenly heard Himchan curse.

“What? What’s wrong?” You asked.

“I think the members are back,” he whispered quickly against the phone’s mic, “I’ll call you later, love.”

“Hyung~” you head one of the members call from the distance. You heard rustling and rushed footsteps coming from the other side of the phone before the call abruptly ended. 

You couldn’t help but giggle. You couldn’t wait for him to come home

(Gif credit to rightful gif owner)


| Yongguk | Himchan | Daehyun | Youngjae | Jongup | Junhong |



~Admin Coffee

RFA Wedding HCs: Zen

• Dis Boi
• he was so hyped for the wedding no joke
• he was so invested in the planning of the thing
• one minute he was choosing flower arrangements the next he was looking at swatches
• asks for MC’s opinion of course
• MC was like lmao knock yourself out sweetie
• instead of staying late at work he’s at the wedding planner having tea and finger sandwiches
• now Visuals
• the colour scheme was cool tones so blue, teal, turquoise, grey, silver, white and shit
• Zen in a tux tho
• He chose a silver tux with a turquoise tie. MC thought it was tacky at first but seeing it on him they were like DAMN
• like you know there are those people who are attractive normally but when they get in a tux it’s like

• well that’s basically Zen
• the wedding was one of those winter wonderland ones cause who doesn’t love snowflakes and shit
• Anyhow onto the actual wedding
• Zen is an actor so he can’t be having giant extravaganzas and was actually thinking of having a small wedding few friends and family
• turns out MC has like a huge extended family who all wanted to come so the guest list just kept on getting bigger
• but luckily Jumin bae had security all over the place
• Zen said it was a better gift then the matching cat pyjamas he had originally thought of
• Zen was weirdly chill in the time leading up to the ceremony
• When he sees MC tho
• time legit stops for him
• how could such a beautiful being be his
• SHOOK pt.2
• The wedding looks fabulous tho like it’s all over Instagram, Twitter, Snapchat you name it.
• Zen took so many wedding selfies
• All his fans have so much wedding spam no joke
• Zen’s fam are there after patching thing up as if they’d miss his wedding
• The RFA are there of course
• Jaehee is crying as The Mom Friend™  she gets some serious feels after seeing MC and Zen get married
• Seven is live tweeting the whole thing and adding memes to every fucking tweet
• Saeran is discretely roasting him in the comments
• Yoosung is complaining about how Zen got hitched before him
• Jumin is experiencing withdrawals from being away from Elizabeth III for two long
• V is blind taking photos( the boy makes everything look like an aesthetic no filters needed)
• Anyway
• By the end of the reception Zen and MC have already driven off into the sunset on his motorcycle to go on the honeymoon to end all honeymoons

~Admin Petty

entirely bonkers #1 | someone’s turning the handle

“you’re one of a kind and no one understands…”

horror + angst, teamiplier, egos

~October 2016

This was good news. Great news. The best news. This was going to change everything. This was the opportunity of a lifetime. Maybe that’s why Ethan couldn’t stop crying.

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homestuck fans are experiencing withdrawal symptoms from homestuck being over so when 17776 appeared we’re all going crazy and clinging desperately to the last thing that is kind of like our beloved homestuck

anonymous asked:

harry and #38? x

enjoy my dude xx


38. “I fell in love with my best friend”

Harry had started acting weird around you a couple of months ago. At first you thought nothing of it, even the best of friends needed their space sometimes, but he continued to distance himself from you. 

Your movie nights dwindled until they were no more, there was no spontaneous road trips, you only really ever saw him when you went out with the other boys. Even then, the air was thick between the two of you and you had no idea why. 

Saying that you missed his voice and overly loud laugh right in your ear was an understatement, it was like he was a drug you never wanted to give up and now  you were experiencing withdrawals. 

Having had enough of the lack of Harry in your life, you decided to make your way to the Halo Tower to confront him. You knocked on the door, tapping you foot impatiently as Calfreezy opened it. “Y/N, hey! Harrys in his room” Cal smiled at you and pulled you into a hug, “Thanks Cal” you mumbled as you made your way to Harry’s room.

Knocking on his door, you opened it carefully, slipping into his room quietly in case he was filming. “Haz?” you called for him, still standing in his doorway, causing him to turn around in his chair. “Y/N! I didn’t know you were coming over,” he seemed nervous, “you would’ve made up some excuse saying you were busy if you’d have known” you crossed your arms in front of your chest. “No-” “Harry, you would have. What’s wrong? What did I do?” you question sadly as you make your way to sit on his bed in front of him. 

He took a deep breath, as if he was preparing himself for something. “You didn’t do anything” he smiled softly at you, grabbing your hand in his like he used to. “What’s wrong then?” you question looking at his face, he was looking at your hands. “Nothing. I just realised” he sighed but didn’t continue. “Realised what?” “That I fell in love with my best friend” he concluded, slowly raising his eyes so he was looking at your face.

Smiling at him softly, you decided against words and leant forwards so your foreheads were touching and your hand was placed softly on his cheek. “Can I?” Harry whispered, casting his eyes downwards towards your lips that were millimetres apart. “Yeah” you whisper breathlessly, and that was all the confirmation that Harry needed to connect your lips for a long awaited kiss.