expensive bathing suits

Idk if I even qualify as sugar anymore. I market myself as sugar, but I also use phrases like “market myself” so I’m not really sure.

I’ll break it down for y'all & you tell me what you think.

I “specialize” in businessmen from out of town. They’re here for a day or three. They tell me what they want to do, how much they want to spend. I ask for 25% more than what they offer plus expenses (travel, buying new bathing suits, whatever I can make up that sounds relevant) and they give it to me. I’m all theirs for a day or three. Then they leave and I don’t hear from them again until the next time they’re in town.

I’ve had a couple of these guys give their friends my number. So sometimes I’ll get a call or a text from a guy who’s in town for a day or three. Those are my favorite because I can always upsell them. Men are always in competition with other men, even if they don’t know it lol. “Oh, Sven gave you my number? Well Sven and I had tons of fun and he gave me $$$.” I never lie about the number. But if this is a coworker/colleague? He’ll generally offer more than the first guy, just so he can feel like he’s got the bigger dick the next time they’re in a room together.

And I still ask for 25% more lol. Plus expenses.

I still go on POT dates looking for the perfect sugar, but I meet up w guys from out of town two or three times a month and it keeps the bills paid.

It doesn’t feel like sugar, but it doesn’t quite feel like escorting cause I don’t really have rates. Lol wtf am I doing you guys?

not pictured: dave doing some ridiculous pool shenanigans off-screen to impress karkat.

Just, imagine these idiots in a swimming pool:

Padme wearing a ridiculously expensive bathing suit. It’s not a two piece so much as a many piece - it’s got sleeves and two layers of bottom and the top looks more like a crop-top than a bikini top and she still manages to swim in it??? SHE’S A FUCKING MERMAID FROM NABOO, ANAKIN IS CONVINCED!! SHE WAS NEVER AN ANGEL, SHE WAS A MERMAID THIS ENTIRE TIME HE FEELS SO CHEATED!!!

Anakin wears normal swim trucks and wanted to wear a shirt too but Padme was like “NOPE”. 

Chlorine isn’t a thing in space i bet - they probably have a better way to treat swimming pool water so that means swimming underwater with your eyes open!! 

Padme challenging Anakin to races when she feels like it and every time she kicks his ass. He laughs while asking why he keeps trying to beat her. 

KISSING!! Padme can pull Anakin to her and kiss him and pull his legs around her waist because water makes people lighter!! They can have underwater kisses!! (And then get water up their noses because it looks super romantic but in practice it’s mostly just silly and leads to burning noses.) He can swim around her like a shark and then pop up to kiss her nose!! 

PIGGY-BACK CANNONBALLS!!!

They probably go cuddle in the hot tub before they leave.