expectiation

  • MC: When you said 'magical in bed' this isn't exactly what I was expecti-
  • 707: [holds up Queen of hearts] was this your card?
  • MC: [softly] Holy shit.
I found the most amazing thing at a thrift store today

This guy!  He was only 59 cents which was so worth finding out what exactly it was

He looks like a new friend to me

more potential new friends!

!!!!!!

he came with this package I wasn’t sure what to expect

I definitely didn’t expect 2 of the tiniest glowsticks

tiny glowsticks for a tiny rave

so I figured out you’re supposed to put the glowsticks inside him

cute friend

best friend

whenimaunicorn  asked:

You’re passing a horn of mead around the fire when one of the shieldmaidens from another kingdom proposes a salacious game from her homeland. She sets before you Ubbe, Bjorn, and Ivar and tells them to close their eyes and not to move no matter what happens. She instructs you: “choose one of them to slap, one to lick, and one to fondle.” Make your choices, and if you’re brave enough, describe what you do in more detail (Where? How hard? How do they react?)

You bite your lip trying to decide what to do. Your gaze travels over the three men in front of you. They all have their eyes closed and are waiting for what is to come. They are completly at your mercy and you feel a heated rush at being in such a position of power. You wonder how the girl has talked them into taking part in this game, but have no time to follow that thought any further, for the other shieldmaidens are watching you with expectiant eyes.

Without thinking much about it you follow you first impulse and tangle your fingers into Björn’s beard. You’ve always had a thing for beards and his is the most impressive one of all three. You can hear the other girls start to giggle behind you as you lightly tug at it before you let your hand travel up to his cheek, caressing it with your fingertips. Björn leans into your hand, seemingly enjoying your touch. He even seems a bit disappointed as you pull away from him.

It is only then that you realize you’ve made a mistake. To fondle Björn means you have to slap either Ubbe or Ivar. You know you don’t want to slap Ubbe. He’s just a good person through and though. He has always helped you with your training and always respected your decision to fight along the men while so many others have just laughed at you. No, you just don’t have it in you to slap him. Ivar on the other hand…. well, he deserves more than just one slap, but you have seen many of his tempers and you are scared how he will react. You slightly shake your head to fight down your fear. This is just a game after all and he has agreed to it.

To buy yourself some more time you empty you horn and go over to Ubbe first. You smile to yourself and let the tip of your tongue trail up his cheek. He sucks in a deep breath. “Y/N? Is that you?” He asks. “You always smell like lavender.” You just giggle and leave a peck on his brow before pulling away. 

You pour yourself another horn of mead and take a long sip before you slowly walk over to Ivar. The mead is starting to affect you, soothing away the tension that has started to build again. You feel the expectant eyes of the other shieldmaidens on you and take a deep breath. With one swift motion you raise your arm and slap Ivar across the face. His eyes fly open and bore into yours. You can’t read anything in his expression. And then, before you know what is happening, he has grabbed you by the waist and pulls you into his lap. You can feel his hand slide down to your ass while he leans closer to you. “Come to my room later so that I can return the favour.” He growls into your ear and gives your ass just the tiniest slap of his hand.

you know what i adore hp and narnia and his dark materials but for me, nothing will ever come close to a series of unfortunate events. like i dont think you understand how much of an effect those books had on me.

i still remember reading the first book when i was about 7 and it had just been translated into french and my dad bought it for me at the book store and i had no idea what to expect

i still remember asking my dad the next day to buy the second, third and fourth one because they were all out and i read them each in like two days

i still remember sitting in the theatre when i was nine and getting so confused when it started and thinking i was in the wrong room even though i kinda knew what was going on but i was just so damn excited 

i love everything about the series : the gloomy aesthetic, the infinite plot twists, the character development !!!!!, the fact that after all these years i still have no clue what time period it’s set in and the fact that even though i’ve read it countless times i still get surprised

BUT what i love the most is the fact that it made me feel valid. it made me feel like my problems were valid. my life wasn’t nearly as unfortunate as the orphans’ but they managed to always stay hopeful and happy and together even though it seemed like they were all alone in this world and i still remember reading the last one when i was twelve and very depressed but thinking that if violet, klaus and sunny could still have hope, then so could i