expect this to happen to you a lot

hello all! theres no easy way to make a post like this, but i want you all to be aware of whats kept me away for a bit. a lot has happened within the past few days and things are finally calming down but im still very emotional.

basically, my cat casper (heres his tag on my main blog) had to be put to sleep yesterday at about 10 in the morning. fleas have been extremely bad this season, and i never expected that to be the thing that would get him, but he was unfortunately afflicted with a disease that only some fleas carry. its a disease that works quick and doesnt give many warning signs. 

my sister and her boyfriend went to my moms house this past weekend and when they saw him they could tell something was wrong; he lost a ton of weight and he was very weak. they, and my mom, decided it would be best for him to come back here with me. at that time, we had no idea how bad it was. the assumption was just that he would be living with me from now on. (he hadn’t been living with me for a large number of reasons, all relating to his comfort and the fact that hes always been used to my moms house, i never wanted to be selfish)

they came home that night, brought casper with them, and i was elated! but then i pulled him out of the kennel and my heart sank bc i knew. i knew in that very moment that something was Very Wrong. he made it through that night, he ate some food and drank water, i thought maybe he could make it, so i was very hopeful.

he was with me here for about two days before i knew i HAD to take him to the vet. they took extremely good care of him and i feel very lucky that he was in the hands of such sweet people, but unfortunately his red blood cell count was already very bad (the vet said she was amazed he was still here when i brought him in, but i guess he’s always been a fighter)

my final memory of him will be the fact that he would not leave my side the night before i took him to the vet. he usually lays between my legs, but even that wasnt good enough for him. he wanted to be right on my chest, right in front of my face, and i talked sweetly to him the entire night because i wanted him to know how much i love him and how important he was to me.

Casper did so much for me, hes been my light in the darkness and my motivation for making a life for myself, and for him as well. i never got to spoil him like i really wanted to (if i’d had my way, casper would have had his own room in my future home) but i hope he knew that I really truly loved him with my entire being, he was the best cat i’ve ever had, ever known, and I’m glad he’s not in pain anymore. I really really really miss him though, and the world seems a little darker without him.

anonymous asked:

art tips?

here are some i find that help me a lot!!

never stop drawing as in try to draw at least one thing every day. It doesn’t have to be a colored piece every time. It doesn’t even have to be digital!! It can just be a simple sketch as long as you don’t spend a day without drawing anything. 

And try using a pen rather than a pencil so you would get used to making mistakes and to not feel bad about it :D it helps me a lot in that department

 And another thing is to get learning!! You don’t have to enroll in classes, you can watch tutorials about things that you know you’re not so good at. I watch a lot of tutorials about anatomy hahahaa and then practice what you’ve learned!! 

 But always remember, you won’t improve overnight and seldom do we get the things we plan to happen. we really don’t always get what we want and our expectations sometimes only lead to disappointment. So my tip for that is to just be happy that you’re drawing and that you’re practicing and working hard to reach your goal!!

of course, remember to always have fun!! 

6

I need to talk about this scene because it’s so different from the typical way pep talks go. 

Moana has just suffered a tremendous defeat and been abandoned by Maui, her demi-god ally. She’s understandably upset- the heart of Te Fiti has to be restored or decay will consume her island. And yet she’s just one teenage girl on a damaged canoe- how is she supposed to face down Te Ka, actual vengeful Lava monster? 

Her fairy godmother grandmother’s spirit doesn’t come in with a magical fix, insist her doubts are baseless and/or bluster that she should just get on with the impossible. She comforts her and tells her it was too big a task to expect of her (all true!) and then tells her it’s okay to give up, that she will be there with unconditional support to help her go home, no guilt or shame. 

THIS. NEVER. HAPPENS. IN. STORIES.

And it should. “Encouragement” is so often a lot like bullying in narratives, even towards characters that are children. “I know you have it in you (even though you were just soundly beaten)! Now get back out there (even though you’re miserable)!” 

Instead, Gramma waits until Moana herself realizes that she’s not ready to give up, through self reflection. She wasn’t there to insist that Moana “suck it up”, but simply to “remind [her] that come what may, [she] know[s] the way”. 

That is awesome. 

EDIT II: This post has been going around as definite proof that the Cult Ending is fact, and the real way the game works. As such, I’ve been accused of spreading misinformation, to a degree that I’ve been getting extremely toxic and damaging messages.

I want to clarify at this point, this post was made as a vent, back when the data-mine of the Cult End was beginning, and we first got the info that it was a file in the game. The Data-Mine is pretty much finished now, at this point; nothing new to find. And it’s revealed that, while the ending is in a playable state, no coding in the game actually makes it possible to play it. There’s no outcome you can get to trigger this end.

No one is sure if this is a cut ending, future DLC, or if it’s a bug messing up the coding trigger. All we know is we found it, and I made a post too hasty in assumption. I made it when we still thought it was possible to achieve.

So please. Take this with a grain of salt. I don’t want to delete this post, as I feel like it would give the bad impression that I simply wanted to spread fire, with no care for repercussions. But I do want people to know I’ve learned now.

I’m sorry to everyone that I deceived with this. It wasn’t my intention at all, but execution doesn’t always pan out like we hope.


EDIT III: Good god, how often am I going to be updating this post.

Well, we have verification the ending isn’t as scrapped as we thought it was.

An update patch for Dream Daddy to fix bugs and add Robert’s Whittling minigame also secretly updated the coding of the Cult Ending. This info was found VIA data-mining the Level18 files as they were before and after.

The updated files include more trigger codings, and has added the achievement trigger for what we presume is “Escape the Margarita Zone,” as it is listed as “ACHIEVEMENT_SECRET.”

While it doesn’t necessarily mean the ending is definitely going to be playable in the future, it does make the ending’s chances of becoming a possible canon that much more of a reality.


Man. The reveal of what Joseph actually is both amazes and horrifies me further than what we’ve seen.

Okay, so data-mining revealed that Joseph does have a good ending, but it’s not much different from the bad. He still remains with Mary, but he takes you in as a side-man (AKA, he stays with you to continue an affair on Mary.) It’s not very good either, so I won’t be surprised to see people voice disappointment when they get it.

HOWEVER, data-mining found something even worse in the code. And that is Joseph has a third ending, a secret ending, and potentially, the TRUE ending of not only his route, but the game entirely. This ending has been dubbed “cult ending.”

This ending ended up revealing that Joseph is not at all what he seems. He’s not a man living a broken marriage, forcing himself to stay with an alcoholic and cheating wife to have some semblance of a family life with his kids. No, this family he’s created is simply a facade to hide who he is.

Joseph isn’t human. He some sort of demonic entity that has an ulterior motive. His children aren’t truly his children in the sense that you’d assume, they’re more like broken portions of himself, inhabiting child-like forms. And Mary is a woman who was forced to play a role to paint a picture, an illusion. Something she can’t escape from, because Joseph literally has her wrapped around his finger.

Joseph also is a leader of a cult (Obviously, given the fact that this ending is dubbed “cult end.”) I’m not too knowledgeable about the cult, but apparently it’s a front to rituals and the like. We know Robert was, at one point, a part of the cult, but isn’t any longer.

And finally, we know Joseph is drawing forth energy from other single dads, possibly both sexually and ritualistically, to bring the “Eternal King” back to life. He specifically needs the energy from single dads, and with some sort of dark magic, he lures them to his part of town for ease of access. He also is responsible for causing the events of them all being single. Every single dad, he influenced their destinies to fuel his own ambitions.

And once you find this out, you start noticing shit everywhere! There’s symbols of his cult in practically every part of town. Certain behaviors give an odd feeling. It’s just… it’s shocking to go back in to see this.

The cult end finishes with a man name Saul Graves coming to speak to you, and telling you to try and live your life normally. I’m not sure the entirety of the end, I guess it implies Joseph is on the run now? I don’t know, if anyone can clarify it, let me know.

Now, this was a beyond shocking twist to a lot of people. Especially since the game is so comedic, and the other routes, while they may have poignant moments, it’s nothing completely horrifying. I know I certainly was beyond stunned to discover this, but I honestly had a feeling something would happen like this. Though I wasn’t expecting it to actually be Joseph’s route to cause this; I thought it would’ve been a route where you don’t date any dads!

And I know that there’s some speculation that the “cult end” isn’t truly canon (As in, Joseph isn’t actually in a cult or is a demon, it’s just there for intrigue) and is just a dream end. But the fact you start noticing shit after experiencing the end, imagery and encounters, it just… I really can’t see this as being nothing but the truth. Even if you don’t get the ending where you find out what Joseph truly is, he’s still a demonic entity with dark motives, influencing the town and its people to his goals.

And then there’s something that’s honestly quite saddening to think. It’s because of the fact that, even if you don’t get the cult end, it doesn’t change what Joseph is. He’s using single dads’ energy to summon his King to the world. He SPECIFICALLY needs single dads. He has caused all of the other dads to lose their significant other to further his goals, from divorce to death. He’s the reason they’re single in the first place.

Because of this, you pairing up with a dad doesn’t give me a good feeling. Because he needs the dads to be single to draw their energy. And he doesn’t care about “true love” or “good ends.” He’ll tear you apart to forward his goals.

Joseph doesn’t care if Craig’s ending was the cutest thing anyone’s experienced. Joseph doesn’t care if you truly have a connection to Mat.

He needs you two to be single to feed off of you both. And he knows how to break you two apart without anyone ever expecting a thing.

Basically, the reveal of what Joseph is makes me look in fear at all of the other dads, look in fear of their good ends. Because even if it’s a happy end we experienced in what we saw, it implies it’s not meant to last. Down the road, we’ll either be broken up by Joseph’s influences, or he’ll influence one of our’s deaths.

And we won’t think anything odd about it. We’ll just think it didn’t work out, or that life is a cruel mistress.

This is so sinister, like I both love it for the intrigue, but hate it because I genuinely wanted cute moments, and now knowing what Joseph is, I can’t see them as cute anymore. I can’t see myself being happy with any of the Dad’s routes, because there’s that looming thought that it’ll just end in sadness again.

Fucking christ. I didn’t sign up for Dream Daddy to be this dark.


EDIT: This post really blew up, to the point that people are wondering if I’m making shit up due to lack of sources. I wasn’t intending this to get big, it was a vent/personal post, with at most some theories on implications that I thought would get lost to the various other posts people make. I made a reblog showing links that give more info, but for future people that find the post, here are various links on the info we have on the route.

Here’s some images found that pertain to this ending.

Here’s a transcript of how the route goes, from people descrambling the code. Also contains some more images.

Better quality textures of “Cultist Joseph.”

And finally, here’s how people did the data-mine.

Bangtan Fic Rec

All of these are on ao3, they’re all shipping fics. I’ll add more as I read, these are just the ones I’ve read so far. My opinion is in italics, I only added the pairing, summary and theme of the fics, not the warnings and ratings so check those out when you’re gonna read them because some of them contain either smut, death or violence. You’ve been warned.

Fics in this list: 43.


I dream in the shape of your mouth by jonghyun | Namjin, College!AU.

Summary: Seokjin spends a lot of time in the library. Now, Namjoon does too. Taemin tries to summon Satan, and Jimin is a fuckboy.

*Jackson voice* Cute

Six Impossible Things Before Breakfast by Kavbj | Taekook, College!AU, Fantasy!AU

Summary: Taehyung has magic in his veins and Jungkook’s determined not to let it kill him.

Dude. This fic is so creative and well-written… I finished it and felt empty.

beat for me (live for me)  by bakkushan | Namjin, Mafia!AU part of the offer me your deathless death series.

Summary: Namjoon’s looking at himself and then at Seokjin and all he can see is Life and Death lying next to each other under a starless sky.

I cried like a bitch with this one, painful as fuck.

All you need is love (and pink) by vppa | NamJin, Angels and Demons!AU.

Summary: Most people only have one miniature angel or devil riding on their shoulders to serve as the physical manifestation of their conscience. Poor Namjoon has five, and they’re all telling him the same thing: “fucking talk to him god dammit what the fuck is wrong with you”

Funny and sweet. I like it.

Can I Get Your Dewey Decimal Number? by melecs| NamJin, Library!AU.

Summary: Seokjin loved working at the library, but some patrons got on his nerves. Take, for example, the grown man who sat in the corner every day and leeched off of the Wi-Fi. And Seokjin worked in the children’s department.

Ah, this is… something else, for sure. Cute as hell. Funny, too.

The less I know the better by mucha | Taegi, Namjin, Fake Relationship!AU

Summary: “Together with their families, Kim Namjoon and Kim Seokjin… Wow, this is formal… Wait,” Hoseok squints at the paper, before looking back at Yoongi with a quizzical look on his face. “They invited you with a guest? But… You’re single, right?”

“Min Yoongi,” Jimin glares at him over the bar, crossing his arms sternly over his chest. “If you’re seeing someone and you didn’t tell us I will kick your ass, so help me god.”

“I’m not dating anyone,” Yoongi sighs, grabbing the invitation and scanning it quickly. The words “with a guest” are underlined and Yoongi can almost see it: the smugness on his brother’s face as he nods with satisfaction, putting the pencil down.

“So what does it mean?”

Yoongi shifts uncomfortably in his seat, avoiding making eye contact.

“I might’ve… invented a boyfriend,” he finally mumbles to the glass in front of him.

This is so good, amazing, incredible. Brilliant. Entertaining as hell.

Star Light, Star Bright (The Last Star I’ll See Tonight) by DreamsOfAnotherReality | Taekook, Yoonseok, Teen!AU.

Summary: Jung Kook and Taehyung fall in love the summer Hoseok goes missing.  

Hoseok just wanted to see the stars and confess to Yoongi gdi bye I’m gonna fucking kill myself.

Creating a home series by CheekyBrunette | Namjin, Foster Parents!AU

Summary: A BTS Foster Care AU

This AU is so cute and fluffy I love Domestic!Namjin

The Professor’s Family series by EquinoxSolstice | Taekook, NamJin, Family!AU

Summary: Professor Kim Namjoon is married.

He doesn’t have a wife.

They have a sort-of son.

And Jeon Jungkook just crossed paths with them.

Read this. It’s great, I promise.

The Greatest by Little_Dimples | jikook, College!AU, Sports!AU.

Summary: Person A is a hockey player person B a figure skater. Person A is told he needs more grace on the ice so he is forced to get lessons by person B. Problem is they hate each other.

Or Person A is Jungkook and Person B is Jimin.

I had so much fun reading this you don’t get it. As I was reading in class i had to hide my face because I was smiling so much. Really good fic.

400 minutes | yoonmin, School!AU.

Summary: Min Yoongi expected a lot of weird experiences to happen when he went to college, but being the roommate of his high school love who apparently “moved away for good” was not one of them.

Angsty but in a good way.

Beta Tau Sigma by bazooka | Namjin, Yoonmin, College!AU, Frat!AU.

Summary: A collection of events occurring within (and without) the walls of the Beta Tau Sigma fraternity house.
At Beta Tau Sigma, there are only a few rules:

1) have a declared major in the College of Music;
2) keep your GPA above a 3.4;
3) don’t let Taehyung into the liquor cabinet;
4) don’t fuck up with Kim Seokjin. The rest is all fine print.

(Rating changed to M for sexual content in ch17.)

OKAY, THIS FIC IS THE END OF EVERYTHING FOR ME. My Favorite Fic Of All Time. Nothing is ever gonna top this for me, even House of Cards. This fic has it all, humor, angst, fluff, smut. Everything. Incredible fic. Golden fic.

cuz in a sky full of stars (I think I saw you) by wowoashley | Taekook, Namjin, Fake Relationship!AU

Summary: taehyung always has bad ideas. and jeongguk thinks this might be the best.

This is so cute and cliché but in a good way, I really love this fic.

ce monde est une têmpete by astringxnt | Taekook, Yoonmin, Namjin, College!AU

Summary: they say that one should fall in love with their eyes open, but Jungkook keeps his closed, and Taehyung is afraid that they’ll fall in all the wrong places.

the concept of strings in space time theory is that on a one dimensional plane, one only has the option of going backwards or forwards in their direction of travel. Jungkook chooses to be swept along into the unknown, with Taehyung as his only anchor.

AMAZING! I really like the plot of this one.

Safe and Sound by bazooka | Namjin, Royalty!AU.

Summary: From a tumblr prompt: Jin is a prince, and Namjoon is his bodyguard.

“You’re sort of bad at this.”
“Nah. You’re safe, aren’t you?”

Prince!Jin. That’s all I have to say about this fic. Amazing.

(thought you knew) you were in this song by expplipo | Taekook, Yoonseok, Namjin, Soulmate!AU

Summary: Taehyung nearly chokes, but only nearly. Instead he raises an eyebrow and puts on the most suave smile he can manage. Hopes he looks far more collected than his for-some-reason racing heartbeat would let on, more suit-and-wine than elementary-schooler-with-a-new-crush. “You like me?”

Jeongguk blushes, and looks at his feet. He’s smiling. “Of course.”

“Really?” Taehyung says. “Like? Or like like?”

(So much for suit-and-wine.)

Nothing to say apart from it being amazing.

Common Thread by sugafree | Yoonmin, Namjin, Soulmate!AU

Summary: Red String of Fate AU where Yoongi doesn’t believe in soulmates and spends a long time trying to avoid a certain someone on the other end of his red thread.

I’m a sucker for Soulmates, but this fic is good regardless, love the way it’s written.

for you, anything by kadotas | Vmin, Yoonkook, Namjin, Marriage!AU

Summary: “Talk dirty to me,” Taehyung says lowly into Jimin’s ear, breath ghosting Jimin’s earlobe, eliciting a slight shudder from the latter.

“I’m not wearing underwear,” Jimin whispers back, pulling back to look Taehyung in the eye.

Taehyung groans gruffly at this, breaking the eye contact to lean down and nip Jimin’s jawline gently. “God yes baby that’s just-“

“I’m not wearing any underwear because you never fucking put the laundry in the fucking dryer like I’ve asked you to 100 times,” Jimin hisses, voice strained with vehemence, glaring at him and Taehyung sighs defeatedly.

(in which Taehyung and Jimin navigate through married life together, realising belatedly that it’s not always smooth sailing.)

Domestic Vmin is the best Vmin.

Let me know by TheOrgasmicSeke | Yoonmin, Yoonkook, Jikook, Yoonminkook, Namjin, Vhope, I Need U!AU, Poly!AU

Summary: Talking about it, of course, became harder as the days passed by. Yoongi could never find the right time to bring it up. He was still wondering if he was just imaging things. If he was just thinking he was feeling the things he was feeling. But that was quickly disproved every single time Jimin curled up around him and Jungkook kissed him. He was a fucking idiot in love with two bigger idiots and there wasn’t a damn thing he could do about it. Except probably ruin it by talking about it. Hell, maybe it was better to just never mention it and pretend it wasn’t happening.

So good. No other words.

Find the value of an elephant by tired angry egg (Mirabelle) | Namjin, Highschool!AU, Tutor!AU

Summary: When Kim Taehyung’s academic situation takes a turn for the worse, his mother is convinced to hire a highly recommended tutor in the hopes for a miracle that would turn her son into a conscientious student. Her eldest son, Seokjin, has a far more skeptical opinion on this entire thing, expecting it to be-lest he sugarcoat it-a complete failure. And Kim Namjoon is just really bad at making good first impressions (or second ones, or just impressions altogether).

Cute and funny.

A Sociolinguistic Analysis of Epenthesis in Academic Convergence by bazooka | Namjin, College!AU, Professor!AU

Summary: Epenthesis
A phonological phenomenon in which two disparate sounds meet, creating a third sound between them which wasn’t there before.

There were a lot of jobs worse than being partnered with world-renowned Absent-Minded Professor Kim Namjoon, but Professor Kim Seokjin couldn’t think of what any of them were at the moment.

THIS! IS! SO! GOOD! Honestly, I’m in love with this fic.

The Mark of an Educated Mind by bazooka | Namjin, Metafiction.

Summary: At three o'clock in the morning after he’d been working for ten hours straight and everything he touched came out wrong and all his words were stilted and clumsy and all his music was rough and tangled… for some ungodly reason Kim Namjoon opened up a new browser window, typed bangtan sonyeondan fan fiction into the search bar, and then (god) hit enter.

No comment.

A Wonderful Institution by bazooka | Namjin, Yoonmin, Wedding Planner!AU.

Summary: Kim Seokjin is a wedding caterer. Kim Namjoon is a wedding planner.

Both of them think marriage is a societal construct with no place in modern life. Neither of them would know Real Love if it came up to them at a wedding and made a wager.

I love this fic because it’s so cute and funny to me.

Just Skin by syubology | Taegi, College!AU.

Summary: Yoongi is small and angry and 200% done with having feelings; Taehyung is Taehyung; Hoseok harasses Yoongi with petnames and Jimin ships Yoonseok. That’s basically it.

The fic that made me ship Taegi.

Pour up (Drank) by mindheist | Taekook, College!AU, Frat!AU.

Summary: If you can read this, take another shot.

LISTEN. This fic is so good it’s almost Beta Tau Sigma and that’s saying a lot because I love that fic. Anyways, the story in this one is great and it has its funny moments as well as fluffy and frustrating ones. Great fic.

Sidereal by darling | Vmin, Childhood Friends!AU.

Summary: Here we observe the Earth and the Sun in their natural habitat: each other.

This is all cute and fluffy in some parts but deep in others. Beautiful fic, I like the concept.

half a soul divided by jynxu | Minjoon, Taekook, Yoonseok, Soulmate!AU

Summary: Park Jimin has never been on a date. Nor has he had his first kiss, flirted with anyone, or fallen in love. His classmates would ridicule him and base nicknames over his distaste toward anything romantic. (Look, here comes Saint Jiminie!) Even his younger brother would make fun of him while his parents watched with pitying looks on their faces.

Nobody understood.

or: soulmate au where your soulmate’s date of death is tattooed on your wrist.

This made me cry. At school. No joke my friends were worried. Great fic, read if you want to cry.

Out of My System by xxdevilishxx | Yoonmin, Vhope, Namjin, One Night Stand!AU.

Summary: Yoongi likes one night stands and he understands how they work. What he doesn’t understand, however, is how he ended up in bed with a probably-not-legal kid crying in his arms about his broken heart, because he’s pretty sure (and correct him if he’s wrong) that a babysitting job was not what he was looking for when he went to the opening of his friend’s new club.

I read this instead of studying. Really good and interesting, I like the characters.

refrigerator humming, chewing gum and instant karma by locks | Taekook, Gangster!AU, Mafia!AU.

Summary: Taehyung sets the flowers down on the dining table, plucking the card off the little holder. “Dearest Taehyung, just wanted you to know that I’m thinking about you. I hope you’re thinking about me too. Love–” he pauses and squints before cocking an eyebrow and pursing his lips. “Hyung, why is the boss of your little boy band gang professing his love for me?”

Yoongi drops the noodles on the floor with a loud curse as he burns his hand.

Or, Taehyung’s been trying his hardest to avoid Yoongi’s criminal life for a long ass time, but a cute kid and his infuriating father keep pulling him deeper into the mix.

Cute and a good read, the concept is awesome and I like the way it’s written.

House of Cards by sugamins | Taekook, Vmin, Jikook, Vminkook, Mafia!AU, Gangster!AU.

Summary: Jungkook is the heir to a mob empire, the most notorious in the whole of Seoul. Taehyung is a rookie sent in to infiltrate by his select team and bring the empire crumbling down.

“You knew the game and played it, it kills to know that you have been defeated.”

Trailer. This fic. I have no words. It’s beautifully written and the plot is amazing, really interesting and just plain good. The fic to end all Mafia!AUs. Nothing is ever gonna top this for me. It’s also a long read.

Let Me In Or Let Me Down by noraebangbang | Yoonmin, A/B/O.

Summary: Yoongi hates dealing with heat cycles and suppressants and life in general. Everything is a terrible mess, and then there’s Jimin to make things a tiny bit brighter.

Now, listen, I don’t really like ABO, but this fic is so good that I wanna like it because if there are any other ABO fics like this gem then I’m in for a treat.

Kickstart series by Error401 | Yoonmin, Namjin, Vhope, Gangster!AU, Hitman!AU

Summary: Hitman!Yoongi AU.

The plot of this series is really interesting, I read it all in one sitting because I just needed more. It’s really good.

The Still Point (Of The Turning World) by inkingbrushes | Yoonseok, Reincarnation!AU, Soulmates!AU, Multiple lives!AU.

Summary: Because Yoongi doesn’t know how this started, or how this will end, but he knows this simple fact: he knows that there is a love between them that is much fiercer than the burning sun. There is that love then, and there is that love now, and surely there will be that same love the next time.

(Or: the one where they’re reincarnated over and over again and Yoongi meets a different version of Hoseok every time but Yoongi is the only one that remembers.)

Ok, this fic made me cry really hard and I’m still affected by it. It’s beautiful and sad and you should totally read it.

Good Habits to Develop

1. Set yourself some daily goals. Keep them realistic and achievable. That will give direction – so you don’t fritter your time.

2. Read inspirational books and blogs; hang around people who are positive.

3. Stay in touch with what’s happening in the world. We’re not just islands – we are part of one another.

4. Make the effort to stay in touch. Just a “like” on facebook, or a brief text message, conveys to that person that they matter to you.

5. Invest some time in your appearance and health. We’re more confident when we look and feel our best.

6. Pay attention to your priorities. Do what’s most important, and not most urgent, first. (Note: If you never learn to prioritise then everything seems urgent – and that’s what runs your life!)

7. Smile. It makes people feel more positive towards you – and it tends to lift our mood, and enhance our feelings, too.

8. Tidy as you go. It’s easier to work, and you’ll feel a lot less stressed, if you’re working somewhere that’s devoid of clutter. Also, if you tidy as you go then it feels less overwhelming.

9. Include some margin in your life so you don’t feel so stressed, as unexpected things always eat away our time. Expect that to happen – and leave some extra time.

10. Take time for yourself as you need to relax, unwind, recover, and recharge your batteries.

i know a lotta people are just now gonna be going out to counter-protests against fascists and I really just want to hammer this home (leftists you are excused from this post as I think we’re all in general agreement about the following statement): 

The. Cops. Are. Not. Your. Friends. 

I’m serious. And you may believe the cops will help you at first, ESPECIALLY as there will be heavier police presences after Charlottesville, but if things get ugly they WILL protect the fascists before they protect you. I have seen it. Over and over. Every time. 

Back in march I was even at a counter-protest with one neo-nazi (the rest were just your average Trumpians) who got up in the fact of a friend of mine and fucking bashed my friend in the face, causing his lip to bleed. Guess who the police protected behind a barricade of cops, then led off to file a police report at the station? the fucking nazi. My friend was spitting blood on the pavement and the nazi is sneering behind police lines. 

I’m telling you, I understand the urge for those of us who are white and come from relatively financially secure backgrounds, I understand that urge to trust cops. They wear a uniform, you’ve been taught all your life to call them for help. Do. Not. Trust. The. Police. Trust your fellow protesters, trust and know the medics at your protest, but never expect the men and women in blue to help you, because they WILL BE protecting the fascists, because their vested interest is in the continuation of white supremacy. And I know a lot of you will not believe me or fully grasp this until you see it for yourself at a counter protest, but for real, it will happen. 

On trauma aftermaths that don't advance the plot

The way TV shows trauma can lead people to expect every reference to trauma to be a plot point. This can be isolating to people coping with the aftermaths of trauma. Sometimes people treat us as stories rather than as people. Sometimes, instead of listening to us, they put a lot of pressure on us to advance the plot they’re expecting.

On TV, triggers tend to be full audiovisual flashbacks that add something to the story. You see a vivid window into the character’s past, and something changes. On TV, trauma aftermaths are usually fascinating. Real life trauma aftermaths are sometimes interesting, but also tend to be very boring to live with.

On TV, triggers tend to create insight. In real life, they’re often boring intrusions interfering with the things you’d rather be thinking about. Sometimes knowing darn well where they come from doesn’t make them go away. Sometimes it’s more like: Seriously? This again?

On TV, when trauma is mentioned, it’s usually a dramatic plot point that happens in a moment. In real life, trauma aftermaths are a mundane day-to-day reality that people live with. They’re a fact of life — and not necessarily the most important one at all times. People who have experienced trauma do other things too. They’re important, but not the one and only defining characteristic of who someone is. And things that happened stay important even when you’re ok. Recovery is not a reset. Mentioning the past doesn’t necessarily mean you’re in crisis.

On TV, when a character mentions trauma, or gets triggered in front of someone, it’s usually a dramatic moment. It changes their life, or their relationship with another character, or explains their backstory, or something. In real life, being triggered isn’t always a story, and telling isn’t always a turning point. Sometimes it’s just mentioning something that happened to be relevant. Sometimes it’s just a mundane instance of something that happens from time to time.

Most people can’t have a dramatic transformative experience every time it turns out that their trauma matters. Transformative experiences and moments of revelation exist, but they’re not the end all and be all of trauma aftermaths. Life goes on, and other things matter too. And understanding what a reaction means and where it came from doesn’t always make it go away. Sometimes, it takes longer and has more to do with skill-building than introspection. Sometimes it doesn’t go away.

On a day to day level, it’s often better to be matter-of-fact about aftermaths. It can be exhausting when people see you as a story and expect you to advance the plot whenever they notice some effect of trauma. Pressure to perform narratives about healing doesn’t often help people to make their lives better. Effect support involves respecting someone as a complex human, including the boring parts.

The aftermath of trauma is a day-to-day reality. It affects a lot of things, large and small. It can be things like being too tired to focus well in class because nightmares kept waking you up every night this week. TV wants that to be a dramatic moment where the character faces their past and gets better. In real life, it’s often a day where you just do your best to try and learn algebra anyway. Because survivors do things besides be traumatized and think about trauma. Sometimes it’s not a story. Sometimes it’s just getting through another day as well as possible.

A lot of triggers are things like being unable to concentrate on anything interesting because some kinds of background noises make you feel too unsafe to pay attention to anything else. For the zillionth time.  Even though you know rationally that they’re not dangerous. Even though you know where they come from, and have processed it over and over. Even if you’ve made a lot of progress in dealing with them, even if they’re no longer bothersome all the time. For most people, recovery involves a lot more than insight. The backstory might be interesting, but being tired and unable to concentrate is boring.

Triggers can also mean having to leave an event and walk home by yourself while other people are having fun, because it turns out that it hurts too much to be around pies and cakes. Or having trouble finding anything interesting to read that isn’t intolerably triggering. Or having trouble interacting with new people because you’re too scared or there are too many minefields. Or being so hypervigilant that it’s hard to focus on anything. No matter how interesting the backstory is, feeling disconnected and missing out on things you wanted to enjoy is usually boring.

When others want to see your trauma as a story, their expectations sometimes expand to fill all available space. Sometimes they seem to want everything to be therapy, or want everything to be about trauma and recovery.

When others want every reference to trauma to be the opening to a transformative experience, it can be really hard to talk about accommodations. For instance, it gets hard to say things like:

  • “I’m really tired because of nightmares” or 
  • “I would love to go to that event, but I might need to leave because of the ways in which that kind of thing can be triggering” or 
  • “I’m glad I came, but I can’t handle this right now” or
  • “I’m freaking out now, but I’ll be ok in a few minutes” or 
  • “I need to step out — can you text me when they stop playing this movie?”

It can also be hard to mention relevant experiences. There are a lot of reasons to mention experiences other than wanting to process, eg:

  • “Actually, I have experience dealing with that agency”
  • “That’s not what happens when people go to the police, in my experience, what happens when you need to make a police report is…”
  • “Please keep in mind that this isn’t hypothetical for me, and may not be for others in the room as well.”

Or any number of other things.

When people are expecting a certain kind of story, they sometimes look past the actual person. And when everyone is looking past you in search of a story, it can be very hard to make connections.

It helps to realize that no matter what others think, your story belongs to you. You don’t have to play out other people’s narrative expectations. It’s ok if your story isn’t what others want it to be. It’s ok not to be interesting. It’s ok to have trauma reactions that don’t advance the plot. And there are people who understand that, and even more people who can learn to understand that.

It’s possible to live a good life in the aftermath of trauma. It’s possible to relearn how to be interested in things. It’s possible to build space you can function in, and to build up your ability to function in more spaces. It’s often possible to get over triggers. All of this can take a lot of time and work, and can be a slow process. It doesn’t always make for a good story, and it doesn’t always play out the way others would like it to. And, it’s your own personal private business. Other people’s concern or curiosity does not obligate you to share details.

Survivors and victims have the right to be boring. We have the right to deal with trauma aftermaths in a matter-of-fact way, without indulging other people’s desires for plot twists. We have the right to own our own stories, and to keep things private. We have the right to have things in our lives that are not therapy; we have the right to needed accommodations without detailing what happened and what recovery looks like. Neither traumatic experiences nor trauma aftermaths erase our humanity.

We are not stories, and we have no obligation to advance an expected plot. We are people, and we have the right to be treated as people. Our lives, and our stories, are our own.

  • Me: And Another Thing the hetalia fandom seem to think America is some self centred, dumb asshole who treats his friends and family - especially Canada, like crap when you can CLEARLY see he loves and cares for his family his relationship with Canada, England and France is depicted as different than with other nations, even if he can get over the top sometimes this boy is 19 and he's a superpower he has to look after all these other nations and the world expects so much of him and you don't think he struggles with that? He's so happy and excited because can you imagine what would happen if he wasn't?? He's incredibly smart and he has a lot of people who look up to him and expect him to be perfect and-
  • Waiter: Ma'am I asked what you'd like for drinks

Ok that last post got me fired up so we’re gonna have a quick chat about queer history and respecting your elders.

Nothing makes me more angry then when I see some 14 or 15 year old kids try to talk over queer elders and tell them what they can and cannot say about themselves and about their community. 

The queer community has a long, painful, and constantly evolving history. From things like early lesbian couples and Boston Marriages to Stonewall to the AIDS crisis, a lot of shit has happened, a lot of identities have existed and a lot of words have been used. 

Remember that if you’re young right now, you grew up in a time completely different than that of queer elders. You didn’t live through this stuff but you’re coming into it and you’re expecting to bend it to your own thoughts and needs. And that’s ok, you’re allowed to want to better your community and you’re allowed to change things where you see problems.

The problem arises when you haven’t done your research. When you come into the community with no background in it and try to change things. When you don’t know what happened in the past, but you think it should change or you think you know how to change it. 

So story time.

I live in a very liberal dorm. A very queer liberal dorm. And each semester we have guests come speak to us about whatever they do. A couple semesters ago we had Kate Bornstein come speak to us. For anyone who doesn’t know, ze is a trans author. A much older trans author. And the entire trans club at my school decided to attend hir talk. An email was sent out by the LGBTQ resource center beforehand explaining that if people chose to attend the event, they should be aware that ze was older and probably had differing views and to take it with a grain of salt.

So I attended the talk and first of all Kate is the loveliest human. Just very sweet and ze really wants to help queer youth. But, yes, ze is a little different than say a trans 15 year old. Ze explained how ze likes to use the word tr*nny. Why? Because when ze was figuring hirself out ze found a group of other trans people who referred to themselves that way and it felt like a family. Tr*nny became a family word. However, people in the audience immediately started questioning her on this. And being rude about it. 

So my takeaways from this are essentially that this was carried out horribly. First of all, I find it cringe worthy that the trans club felt the need to tell us to “take it with a grain of salt” and I found it cringe worthy that these kids fought a trans elder on zir own life story. 

Why? because this wasn’t a lesson in being queer now. This was a lesson in queer history. This was a person talking about what it meant to be queer in the past and educating us on where our community came from. And that’s important.

You don’t get to tell queer elders who they are. They know who they are and what they’ve been through far more than you do. You need to sit down and learn your history before you try to tell a queer elder what it means to be queer and what words they can and cannot use. Because you know damn well that if anyone tried to take your words away from you it would hurt. 

TL;DR: the queer community has a history, please learn it before you try to shit on it

If you need educating, please read And the Band Played On by Randy Shilts and Odd Girls and Twlight Lovers by Lillian Faderman. They’re a good start, but there’s always more to learn, please don’t stop.

One-paragraph appreciation for the introvert types

ISTJs:  I think it’s great that there are so many of you, because ISTJs drive the world, get stuff done, and always seem to know what’s going on. You’re so incredibly reliable and trustworthy and we need people like that. Without your devotion and logical thinking, the world would be nowhere.

ISFJs: You guys are the glue that holds society together. I love how much you care about everyone and how much effort you put in to make sure everyone is okay. Seriously, you deserve more credit for being such great people, and you have both the drive and natural kindness to help a lot of people.

INFJs: Not only do you have other peoples’ best interests in mind, you guys dream big and have bold ideals. You may not think they’ll happen, but because you’re all so gutsy and organized (unlike me) I feel like you can and will accomplish your goals. I wish there were more of you, because you’re brilliant.

INTJs: You nerds are going to change the world. Seriously, you’re all intelligent, knowledgeable, determined and generally great at stuff, and you’re unbound by expectations. You are creators, challengers, improvers, and while you are few, you can have massive effects on the world on your own.

ISTPs: I know none of you are that dependent on the approval of others, but for what it’s worth: you are great. Your cleverness, pragmatism and bravery mean that you can accomplish awesome things that others could only dream of, and your calmness under pressure is something I strive for.

ISFPs: I feel like the world would be so much more peaceful if people adopted your mindset. It’s incredible how well you guys can see the beauty in others and the world around you. Flexible, talented people like you have so much potential, and since you’re all so kind and charming it’s great to be around you.

INFPs: You guys are most interested in deep thoughts and long-term goals and don’t care about shallow things. And that’s a wonderful way to be. I’m so glad that there are people like you: deep thinkers who don’t forget to look after others, altruists who still seek to define themselves. You fit so many great qualities into one incredible personality.

INTPs: My fellow oddities, you are awesome. You have whole worlds inside your heads, and you tend to know the right answers and ask the right questions. Your curiosity and imagination combined are a force to be reckoned with, and you are definitely some of the smartest people in the world.

Saw something expressing anger at healthy people who take up the seats for disabled people on the BART, and it reminded me:

Last year when I couldn’t reliably stand up for very long (I got dizzy and lightheaded very easily, I was supposed to do as little exercise as possible) I was sitting in one of those seats and someone got frustrated with me for not giving them up for an elderly person. I apologetically gave up the seat and luckily stayed on my feet just fine. I know people do sit in those seats thoughtlessly, and I think it’s totally okay to say ‘excuse me, I need to sit down, can you help me find a seat’, but if you assume people are healthy off ‘young and not visibly unable to walk’ then you’ll end up getting mad at lots of disabled people for using the disabled people seats.  

And disabled people who have this happen to them a couple times will probably start avoiding those seats if they possibly can, because they expect to be challenged on sitting in them, and on the whole you’re not making things any easier for disabled people by policing on their behalf. If you need a seat, ask. If you see someone in need of a seat, by all means help them find one. But don’t assume anyone who looks healthy is rude; lots of reasons someone can’t stand on a moving train are invisible.

3

Subban on his teammates giving him a solo lap of the ice before warmups started: “I wasn’t expecting that, but right before we went out, the guys had their sticks up like creating a gauntlet down the hallway - then they got the PK chant going and I had to fly right out! I think the last time I did that was either my first game as rookie or something like that. I got to be honest with you, I’ve got a great bunch of teammates … the way they handled everything the past couple of days … it’s a good group of men in there.”

A Life Less Ordinary by Jebiwonkenobi

It takes a few years but eventually they manage to agree on something; Derek Hale is an asshole, and Stiles Stilinski is in love with him.


Burn by night by thebrotherswinchester

Sheriff Stilinski has been kidnapped by Alpha werewolves. As bait. For his own son.


Cupboard Love by mklutz

He’s carefully balancing the sandwiches and the two biggest tupperware containers he could find that both had functioning lids when the front door opens and he almost drops everything right there in front of the stupid fountain.

If that’s Derek Hale, he’s definitely not a mountain man.


Daddy’s Do’s by apocryphal

“Hi Mr. Stilinski!” Lydia said pertly. “My name’s Lydia, and this is my daddy. His name is Derek Andrew Hale and he watches all of your videos on YouTube a lot, but he still can’t braid.”

[Stiles is a celebrity YouTube hairstylist. Derek may or may not have a crush. Lydia just wants a French braid for school picture day.]


Everything’s Better Under the Sea by tryslora

Everything changes when Derek goes under while surfing, hits his head on a board, and sees a man with a tail swimming away. He wants to know who that was, and what it has to do with Beacon Hills, the one place he never meant to come back to.

Keep reading

Astral FAQ

These are Frequently Asked Questions I get about astral. Please check this guide before asking me questions concerning astralling! This will be updated regularly, as I receive more questions.

What is the astral?

Note that this is MY definition: I consider the astral to be absolutely everything; our plane of existence, spirits’ planes of existence, pop culture realms, etc. The astral is everywhere and everything.

How does astral travel work?

When you travel, a small portion of your consciousness leaves your body.

This consciousness manifests as its own body on the astral, or it could “awaken” in an astral body you already have. In travel, you do not see/hear/feel/think as clearly as you do during projection, simply because only a portion of your consciousness has left your body.

What is astral travel versus astral projection versus OBE?

Note, again, these are MY definitions:

In astral travel, a PORTION of your consciousness leaves your body and is able to explore other realms.

In Astral Projection, nearly your entire consciousness leaves your body. Astral projection is much harder to achieve than travel. This is the “gold standard” of astral travel, where you see/hear/feel/think with complete or almost complete clarity.

In an OBE, Out-of-Body-Experience, your consciousness FULLY leave your body. As of right now, I do not believe this is possible without a near-death experience, or actual death.

What are some ways to astral travel?

  • Meditate.
  • Guided meditations
  • Trance
  • Have a spirit you know and trust “pull” you into the astral.
  • (Visualization) Imagine a door. Imagine/focus on what is on the other side of the door. Walk through it.
  • (Visualization) Imagine an X (pool, mirror, etc). Imagine/focus on what is on the other side of X. Walk through it.
  • Lucid Dreaming
  • “Splitting”: Imagine a copy of yourself hovering above you. Notice your consciousness in your own body, then “jump” your consciousness into that copy of yourself floating above you. Proceed to go where you want.  

What are some ways to astral project?

Just….keep practicing astral travel, maybe try new methods. I highly recommend reading Astral Dynamics by Robert Bruce, I have literally NEVER EVER found a more comprehensive, extremely informative, and yet still beginner-friendly and not overly complex guide to astral travel/projection.

Differentiating “true astral” from imagination?

True Astral:

  • will always have external interactions that are not in your own head; entities talking/living their own lives whether your imagination/consciousness directs them to or not. Entities moving independently of your will.
  • Spirits (good or bad) being able to follow you back home, to your physical body and interact with you there
  • Unexpected/Unpredictable occurrences happen
  • You get injured and it may hurt your astral body and maybe feel it a little physically too. Injury damages your magical abilities/astral abilities
  • Your astral body can die and you won’t be able to access “true astral” until you regenerate.
  • You can meet other humans consciously. As in, you can text your friend and meetup on the astral together, and talk about it IRL afterwards. 

Imagination:

  • You are in full control of everything.
  • What you expect to happen, will happen
  • Entities are like puppets or dolls; they don’t move around unless you imagine them doing so, and if/when they interact with you, it’s things you expected them to say
  • You will not tire, or will tire extremely slowly.
  • You die/get extremely hurt and nothing happens. You can regenerate at will/heal whenever and wherever you want.
  • You talk to your friend, then you talk to them later IRL and they have no idea what you talked about. 

Why do people always imagine common fantasy stuff when astralling? Don’t you think astral and what happens there is just your imagination and happens in your head? I mean strangely all the people who talk about astral experiences describe common fantasy stuff. I’d say if astral was real it would contain a lot of stuff people can’t even imagine, and yet everyone describes dragons, elfs, etc, that which their mind already knows, nothing out of ordinary. Isn’t this suspicious?

One reason people generally imagine common fantasy is stuff is because that’s what most people care about, and thus go to. It’s hard to care about a species that humanity has never even encountered before, isn’t it? Also, how can you visit the realm of something you have never even heard of/can’t imagine before? Astral travel needs knowledge of where you will go to, so it’s pretty hard (and probably super dangerous) to just say “take me somewhere beyond my imagination.”

There’s also the problem of perception: during astralling, the mind usually replaces things you don’t know with things you do know of, to use less energy while astralling. While you can force your brain to show “the truth”, the more the thing you are trying to look at is beyond your imagination, the more energy and effort it will take to see “the truth”.

How do you do astral laundry?

Note: Not limited to this list.

  • Have a companion you’re comfortable with seeing you nude do your laundry for you.
  • Astral travel two feet away from your earth self, take your astral clothes off, put them in your washer/dryer (with your astral self or earth self), physically run the washer/dryer (you can wash other clothes with it). Take your clothes out, travel again and put your clothes back on.
  • Destroy your clothes and remake clean ones.

How do past lives affect current astral shenanigans?

You might appear as one of your past life forms/bodies. Spirits from your past lives could also attempt to find you on the astral (whether malicious or friendly, so always be cautious).

How to meet spirits on the astral?

Tl;dr:

1. Be able to astral and able to distinguish between astralling/imagination.

2. Go somewhere with spirits.

How to safely meet spirits on the astral?

There is no 100% guarantee of safety when astralling.

Some suggestions are:

  • Have spirit guides/guardians/protective companions take you somewhere safe
  • Actually know where you are going and who you want to meet

How do you keep possibly malicious spirits/entities/beings from following you back home?

  • This is what wards in your living space/where you are when you astral are for. Wards can fuddle your energy signature from being found by spirits you don’t want to find you.
  • Make sure you “come back” correctly; that you walked back through your imagined door, imagined yourself falling back into your physical body, whatever.
  • Do a centering exercise, which will help you “pull back in” trace amounts of energy you left where you went when astralling. Do make sure your wards are up first, to make sure nothing follows the “pull” back to your physical body. If you don’t know what centering is/how to do it, check the “energy work” section of my FAQ/my energy work FAQ post.

Manners/social etiquette/social skills in the astral?

Obviously those will vary a LOT based on where you go. I literally can’t write a comprehensive guide as the astral is home to a limitless number of cultures.

But some things to keep in mind are:

  • Don’t fight every single thing you see ever. Don’t try and provoke fights with every single thing ever. Retribution is a thing and the majority of spirits have the advantage when fighting in the astral.
  • Just because something looks scary doesn’t mean it’s out to get you.
  • Observe the culture, maybe talk with some of the nicer (and not trickster) locals who can tell you the Do’s and Don’ts of their culture.

Heeeeeeey people keep talking about different places in the astral and are they alternate locations all on the same plane or are there alternate astral planes with alternate inhabitants?

There are alternate astral planes with their own inhabitants, and alternate locations on the same plane.

Example of the former: We are on earth. Heaven exists on its own plane of the universe.

Example of the latter: We are on Earth. An alternate location on our plane of existence would be Venus.

Is it possible for entities/other people to drag you into the astral (forcefully or not)?

Absolutely, both people and entities can bring you to the astral. And they can do it forcefully or consensually (consensually obviously takes a lot less energy). 

————————————————————————–

This will be updated every once in a while. Again, please check this FAQ before you ask me any questions concerning this, please ^-^

The Types as I Know Them

The list isn’t complete but still :^)

ISTJ: They’re really quiet and more awkward than awkward at first but once they get used to you, they don’t really shut up and they talk to themselves when you’re around to make it seem like they’re having a conversation with you

ENFP: They’re really clingy and they do a lot of developing while you know them and they kinda disappear without saying anything for a while but they come back like nothing happened which is pretty chill and also contradictory

ENTP: Gets high and drunk a lot, like, a lot a lot but loves everyone while they’re under the drunk affect. You’d sort of expect them to be the dictator type because of their egoism but they’re really not. It’s sort of like their egoism is a little card they play a bit too much

INFP: Can literally write paragraphs about how awesome you are when you’re feeling down. Or just when they’re happy about something. They write a lot of positive paragraphs

ENTJ: Really bad at understanding jokes like they take them too seriously and try to understand the meaning and if it’s a joke about them, they’ll say “Is that really a problem with me? You should’ve told me earlier before announcing it, gosh”

INTP: Probably the most extroverted introvert like they can easily rap in front of a stranger when asking a question but get so exhausted after a few hours and need like 9 hours of sleep but they can also be like a monkey when they’re hyped but they never actually sleep so yeah, your local mad scientist with issues??

INTJ: They’re really hard to communicate with at first but once you get under their skin enough, they’re one of the best people to sit around with and do almost nothing

ESTP: They can make anything seem funnier than it really is and they repeat the same short joke all the time and the joke doesn’t seem to lose its worth. And they never forget things really so they’re probably the best people to have inside jokes with

Warning to my fellow auties

So… does anyone remember when some assholes tried to start an “autistic selfie day” that just happened to fall on Blackout?

And how it turned out, after much detective work, to be a bunch of allistic trolls trying to use us as a weapon for their racism?

It’s happening again: People are claiming that “a-spec” was stolen from us by asexual and aromantic people.

THIS IS NOT TRUE.

“asexual/aromantic spectrum” has a history going back at least four years now, and “a-spec” at least two. Meanwhile, if you look around… where exactly in our community are those terms being used?

Further: A lot of auties are asexual or aromantic. Like… waaaay more than the general population. Last time I did an informal straw poll, the number was eight times higher than expected. This throws them under the bus, forcing them to pick one side of themselves to fight with the other.

This is a lie being spread by outside instigators who want us to be their weapon. Do not fall for it.

EDIT: Just to be clear, here, this is not a comment in any way on the relative evils of the bigotries involved here. This is just a reminder that people have tried to use us like this before, and they’re doing it again.