expect this to be reblogged a lot okay

Okay, so here’s a really long post in which I screenshot a bunch of reddie content from the novel, and I think I got most of it.

Sorry this took so long, but rereading IT had me super emotional, it was hard to get through. 

Also, @eddiekasp I would have added this onto your original post, but it’s super long, and you mentioned a lot of this, so I’m just gonna tag you!

Some of this is likely way over-analyzed, but enjoy anyway: 

So that’s immensely deep and quaintly romantic. 

What a fucking dork. Honestly, what a shameless flirt.


Okay, so, hanging out above the garage, telling Eddie about his dreams, Eddie supporting him and admiring him even if Richie’s skills are clearly not developed yet, and Eddies sorta-pov using the words “enchanting” and “charm” to describe Richie. 


More like “Oh my god, he’s gorgeous, oh, shit, Bill’s looking, what the fuck am I doing, it’s just Richie…” 


Not that Richie wouldn’t have stepped forward to admit that he helped with the dam, but I find it intriguing that he does this right after watching Eddie squirm, standing next to him and trying to think of a way to talk them out of trouble. It comes off as something protective, specifically toward Eddie to me.

Antsy over Eddie potentially getting in trouble and defensively blurting shit to take the attention off of him? Maybe.

Do I even have to say anything about this one? 

Richie suddenly remembering how he used to tease Eddie when they were kids.

Eddie suddenly remembering how Richie’s teasing made him super flustered when they were kids. Richie trying to comfort Eddie.

RIGHT after Eddie freaks out about Richie teasing him, he starts giggling over fucking beep-beeping Richie. 

Just. More flirting as adults, plus some throwback.

(kids again) Speaks for itself.

Eddie’s adorable, and I feel like it’s not coincidental that they all start gushing over how much they love each other after Richie and Eddie bicker a little bit.

(Sorry, I had to switch to a different platform) Kid perspective again.
Wowzers. Pretty self evident. “Eddie my love.” Eddie’s fucking clapback. Damn.

Eddie being uncomfortable over the shit his mom talks about his friends, Richie in particular.

Richie comforting Eddie when the gang returns to face the leper. I don’t remember whose perspective this is but “shy, fragile, and quite beautiful,” then Richie touching him and attempting to reassure him by trying to be badass. 

more like “Hey, help my boyfriend. Are you fucking tickling my boy? That’s my job”

Okay, again, I might be over-analyzing, but there’s definitely some symbolism about love in Richie and Eddie sitting at the top step, Ben standing alone, at the bottom, pining after Bev, and Bill and Bev holding hands down the street a bit, about to cheat on their spouses with each other. 

Right. So, there’s that. 

Not to mention, they immediately start talking about religion and how strange it is after this, and the things that are considered unacceptable, which also contains another of Eddie’s heavily gay-coded moments. 

Richie -is protective of Eddie-
Bill -is protective of Eddie-
Eddie -man, Bill’s pretty and I would die for him.-
Richie -HEY-



After Eddie’s shouting and wailing on the giant eyeball gave Richie the courage to face his fear. It’s incredibly sweet.

Like, they’re just so close in every sense of the word, and so… in love, tbh. How comfortable they become around each other again as adults, when they remember each other, seriously makes me livid over Eddie’s death. Like It already took one man from a happily out and gay couple at the beginning of the novel, wouldn’t it have brought this shit full-circle in a much better way if after killing It, Richie and Eddie could triumphantly live their truth together? I mean, I’m not usually one to complain about tragic themes, but boy am I devastated. 

(NOT TO MENTION, each of them is pretty queer-coded, but honestly, there’s a little something to suggest that probably none of the Losers are completely straight.
Eddie especially. (I’d maybe give examples of that on request, but it would include having to find every time Eddie’s terrified of his orientation and sexuality, and every time someone calls him a name, and I’d cry, so maybe not.)

I REFUSE to screenshot Eddie’s death, but Richie takes it the hardest, and it’s just about the most heartbreaking thing in the whole book.

Richie goes on about some of the misfortune he goes through as an adult, romantically speaking, Eddie’s in a pretty bad marriage, I’m so convinced that he and Eddie could have made each other so happy, and that’s what they deserve, dammit. 

Anyway, that’s all I got! I could have gushed over each of these for longer, but this is already such a long post I wanted to simplify it a bit.

Again, sorry this took so long! Thanks for waiting!

there’s a lot going on. and it’s pretty stressful. you got a whole lot of things to think about. the load isn’t getting any smaller either. each day passes by thinking you’ve wasted the last, thinking this one is a waste too. but hey. it’s not. yeah you weren’t so productive yesterday. be productive today . just start. it’s okay if you only read 1% of of what you’re supposed to know. no one expects you to finish it today. finish bits and bits every day. you’ll get there. you will succeed. have faith.

imjustlo  asked:

Hey mom! Can you talk a bit about "protester's guilt" if that's what it's called? Like, I really care about net neutrality and know they need all the help they can get, but I do not have the energy for volunteer work, and I feel awful about it, like if net neutrality dies, it's gonna be my fault specifically. I know it's silly, but I think a lot of people have issues similar to this?

I know what you are meaning but I can’t remember the exact term for it, but I think what you mean is activist exhaustion. It’s happening to quite a few people right now, especially this year, and little wonder considering all that is going on. 

It sometimes feels like everything is a fight at the moment, which is why it’s important to stay active and woke, but to also take time for yourself and just try to shut your brain off for a while. Like I’m doing right now by watching reality tv and zoning out cause otherwise I’ll just start screaming at the thought of all the things I have to do tomorrow so instead I’m sitting here watching a bunch of idiots freeze their asses off in the middle of nowhere Canada dressed as pioneer settlers.

I often hear the word “slacktavist” thrown around the describe people who share things on social media outlets, but honestly I hate that term. Not everyone has the mental or physical capacity to volunteer and be boots on the ground when it comes to activism. 

And that’s okay. 

A lot of posts going round demanding people do XYZ to save the country/world or they are Bad People, tend to be incredibly ableist and neurotypical in their expectation and wording. Not all of us can do these things, not all of us are able to be physically present at rallies or give up time and energy for hours on end, either due to physical limitations or otherwise. But what they can do that day is reblog something or share something on facebook or retweet it and perhaps spread a message a little farther than it might haven gotten without them. And sometimes maybe you don’t want to reblog that post, sometimes the wording on it is guilt tripping, or maybe right there in that moment you don’t have the mental capacity to deal with making sure the post is a) accurate b) informative and c) offers valid resources.

The amount of stuff I get tagged in on a daily basis to signal boost? I spend time researching them before boosting them, and about a third of them turn out to be misinformed or just downright fake. Now I could just blindly reblog them and hope for the best, but honestly, that’s just one way to further stoke the fear, panic and feeling of being overwhelmed that so many people are feeling right now. So I take my time and try to vet things. Some days I don’t have the energy for that, and those are the days when you’ll see no signal boosting from me, but several fandom ramblings in quick succession. Because I am taking that day to self care and ensure that when the time comes, I’m not completely worn out and worthless for the big fights.

You need to do what you can do. Sometimes you will do more than you thought you ever could and you will be part of what saves the world. 

Sometimes you’re gonna watch that same cat gif on a loop for five hours. The two things are not mutually exclusive.

Pace yourself and accept your limitations do not make you a bad person, they merely mean you are involved in other ways that enable you to take part.

siacatgirl  asked:

What's your opinion on the relationship between Iruma and Kiibo?

I like their relationship a lot more than I thought I would at first! Despite all expectations, they actually wound up being pretty cute together. Whether it’s as friends or as a ship, I feel like their dynamic is pretty underappreciated in the fandom—I’m hoping for a bit of a boost when the game actually comes out tomorrow!

I know a lot of people were really turned off of their dynamic because they assumed the worst from That One CG in Chapter 3, but the fact of the matter is, Kiibo and Miu have a pretty decent dynamic together. That one scene about Kiibo’s maintenance is largely comic relief, and definitely not non-con or anything like that. If anything, Kiibo was pretty clearly having a really good time, considering his, uh… thanks.

Keep reading

okay i’m not really back and i’ll probably post more stuff tomorrow, but i’m just dropping by to say:

  • i watched S4
  • i loved it?? a lot???
  • i know i was surprised too
  • unexpectedly liked Matt??? he’s not a boring jar of mayo?? who knew
  • flipped from really not liking Keith to actively loving him a lot so uh there’s that now
  • also i warmed up to Kuron so much i started calling him Ryou so that’s a thing
  • ngl a large chunk of my good mood rn comes from smug pettiness but details details
  • anyway tomorrow expect reblogs and maybe salt depending on how incredibly petty i’m feeling

Okay so I am over 100 followers in after 2-3 weeks on this blog. I know to some that might be a little number but to me it means a lot, I didn’t expect to get any followers when I created this blog but I’m so happy to have been wrong about that. I have an icon giveaway which is HERE so you can go like/reblog that which I will be getting to over the next week. Below the read more on here is my little bias list of people I talk to all the time, an admiration/stalker list and a little shout out to all the Bevs I know about. Thank you for following me, thank you for filling my dash with amazing threads and keep being awesome, all of you. 

Keep reading

Thank you

Okay so I don’t like posting things that are not quotes on my blog but today I’m just so happy that I feel like I have to!

Recently, and by recently I mean like ten minutes ago, this blog reached 1000 followers which means a lot to me. I honestly didn’t expect this blog to grow that much in not even two whole months so I would like to thank everybody who likes, reblogs or follows.

I’m sorry if it’s something short, I’m not good with words honestly but I hope the overall message stands out: thanks to everybody who supports this blog.


please please take the time to read this post if you are a personal/non roleplay blog and you are following roleplay blogs, especially if you do not roleplay on a sideblog (this post mainly doesn’t apply to people with rp sideblogs)

  • PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE READ THE RULES ON A ROLEPLAY BLOG BEFORE INTERACTING WITH ANY OF THEIR POSTS! i cannot stress this enough. the rules are there for everyone, not just for other roleplayers. you can think of rules pages as a general “please read before you follow” kind of thing.
  • while some of us are ask blogs, NOT ALL OF US ARE. a lot of roleplayers draw and post things for their friends and followers, but do not appreciate non roleplay blogs reblogging them. please respect this.
  • if something is tagged as “dont reblog” DONT REBLOG IT!!! generally, it should be expected that out of character posts, normally denoted by “ooc” or something similar in the tags, should not be reblogged by anyone unless it mentions a specific person and they would like to reblog it as a keepsake. either way, non rp blogs should basically never reblog ooc posts from roleplayers unless it says “okay to reblog” in the tags or they say that it is allowed on their rules page or elsewhere on their blog/in their post
  • if a roleplay blog reblogs art from an artist or something aesthetic related and you would like to reblog it, please reblog it from the source as to not clutter the roleplay blog’s notifications
  • as a general rule, (typically unless a roleplay blog doubles as an ask blog but every blog is different) DO NOT like or reblog anyone’s writing on a non roleplay blog. most of us use our notifications page to keep track of replies, so when it gets cluttered with notes from unrelated blogs, it makes our replies very hard to keep up with. we appreciate that you enjoy our writing, but adding unnecessary notes to our posts makes it harder to write! if you like our writing, please do not make it harder for us to write. we understand that this isn’t intentional, but this is generally the effect it has

anonymous asked:

you have witch powers? i've always been fascinated with "paranormal" stuff, including magic, so i was wondering if u could tell me stuff about it. is magic real? what kind of stuff did ur grandma do? are ghosts and spirits real too? what kinds of spells can witches cast? is it like supernatural? sorry if i'm asking a lot of questions i'm just so fascinated and curious. i didn't even know witches were like, legit until i read ur tags, i just thought that people back then said that so they had 1/2

2/2 a reason to burn a woman they didn’t like. ok now i’m rambling but in short, what can u tell me about witch stuff? i’m just asking cause i’m really curious :)

(about my tags on this)

#whenever phil gets out the tarot cards and pulls something scarily accurate i’m just like…. yes…. good…show us your witch powers…… #(my own experience with tarot? so reassuring. and calming. it’s like asking for a friend’s advice but that friend is your own brain.) #also my great grandmother was a witch by profession and i definitely got some of her magic #i have not yet learned to recognise a feeling when i feel it.. but when stuff happens later i’m like OH THAT WAS MY MYSTERIOUS FEELING #one of our sheep died a week or so ago.. and for two days straight i was outside in the middle of the night staring at the moon #and wondering why i felt death in the air #and the rain made me cry and it felt like release but i didn’t know why #and i immediately started worrying about our sheep but didn’t follow up to see if they were okay #then two days later my mother comes in and tells me one of our sheep died and two days ago had given my mother “the death look” #if you’ve never seen someone or something die… there’s this look they have that’s like a disgraced peacefulness and self-awareness #but basically i knew the sheep was gonna die without any reason for me to think that #and i need to learn to follow up on my instincts because they’re ever-present and i never know when it’s a psychic thing or random anxiety #disclaimer: IS IT ALL BULLSHIT who knows? but science doesn’t know a whole lot about a lot of things and this stuff is natural to me #so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

okay!! i was expecting someone to ask, so here goes. (in case anyone’s wondering, this is a personal post, and no, i’m not making this stuff up.) (feel free to reblog if you want. but it’s so goddamn long aaah)

first off, an opinion: whether or not you believe magic is real in this world is entirely related to whether or not it is real. at least in my books. magic/paramormal stuff can always be observed, but if you don’t believe it’s anything beyond coincidence or skilled trickery, it’s not gonna impact you.

i do believe in ghosts (or djinns, or something else human-like), but in my experience they don’t really do anything except exist in some other realm and occasionally become visible when i’m at my most lucid, at that point between waking and sleeping. most people (myself included) would say it’s just a hallucination. but like…. who’s to say it isn’t real, just in a way we as humans don’t yet understand? y’know?

the most interesting ghost sighting i’ve experienced was when i was fully awake, not hallucinating. i was in a car with my sister, my sister’s friend, and her mother - and we drove over a bridge, and i saw a fritzing semi-translucent black figure walking along the peak. i looked back and it was gone. it wasn’t scary, it was just really cool. i saw that with my own two eyes, i have zero doubt i saw it, and for that moment, it was there.

other times i’ve seen things pass through walls, or felt presences in the room that vanish when i look. i get deja vu maybe once a week. the ability comes and goes in phases, switched on and off whenever i tell someone about it. it’s like that part of my brain gets really shy and goes into hiding when it’s mentioned.

sometimes it can be pretty powerful. there’ve been moments when a deja vu begins, i remember it from a dream, fast-forward through the memory to remember what happens, and i get ahead of present time, so i predict what’s in front of me by about one to three seconds. usually it’s snippets of conversation, or my hands moving to complete an action, or words i’m typing. (let me tell you, it’s so freaking bizarre when you’re consciously typing, thinking about what you’re typing, and simultaneously remembering typing it before, and knowing what you’re about to type despite not yet knowing. and then seeing it happen. i think a lot of people reading this would be like “what?” but i know there’s someone out there who knows exactly what i mean)

for a long time in my teenage years i told people i’d see coloured figures, like auras without physical people, just hanging around out there in the world, but due to health issues a lot of my teenage memories are gone, and the only memory i have of that stuff is the recollection of me telling people about it, and remembering it while telling people. it’s really weird. i sometimes think maybe i made that up?? but i don’t understand why i’d do that when i do actually see other things sometimes.

once, my family visited this old historic building, and i remember seeing a woman in a maid’s outfit duck through a doorway. but she wasn’t actually there. so. idk.

my great-grandmother (or great-great grandmother?) on my mother’s side used to sell love spells to the people in her Indian village. my mother told me about it when i was little. my [great] great grandmother would write a spell on parchment, and the client had to go home and burn it in their fire. and she would curse people, in exchange for payment. that’s all i know about that. but my grandmother (also on my mother’s side) used to have some kind of power, i never got to ask about it while she was still alive. (she was an awesome woman. one of the first women in her country and generation to go to university.)

personally, having been raised as a muslim, i always felt really disconnected from the culture and practices of the religion, even though i believe in the supernatural aspects of it right down to my core. that’s despite my ultimate acknowledgement of facts being deeply rooted in hard science. recently (like, in the past few months) i’ve started to rediscover my faith - directly following on from a quiet interest in the pinterest & instagram aesthetics of paganism and new age magic, which as a concept i was never really sure about. i just really liked how it looked. basically, it clicked in my brain that islamic prayers could, in essence, just be spells. you gotta take everything with a grain of salt. they might not work. but that’s the beauty of it.

a few weeks ago i stumbled across a prayer on tumblr, and read its intended purpose: “Allah will grant whoever recites this seven times in the morning or evening whatever he desires from this world or the next”.

and… i started to think, maybe the purpose is not to actually do that. nothing ought to be a get-out-of-jail-free/do-this-and-your-life-is-made type thing. maybe the purpose is to make you believe nothing can go wrong. and that every bad thing that happens–? it happens so that you can learn from it. and eventually, after many things change, you realise what you desire was not the thing you thought you desired. (idk how to explain that. an example from my life: i really wanted to be a veterinarian growing up. then i got sick, dropped out of school. and now i’m a writer. i want to be a writer more than i ever wanted to be a vet. i had to get sick and my life had to fall apart before i could discover that. writing was never something i’d have considered before.)

my point is, if you believe everything that happens to you will ultimately be a good thing, bad things don’t hurt so much.

and if you take something as a sign, it’s a sign. it’s just your own brain taking hints from the world around you and using them to conjure up a decision. if you wanna believe it’s magic, it is.

personally i like protection prayers/spells and just…generally positive ones. i say prayers for sick friends, people who i see on my tumblr dash who are having a bad time, and if i see or hear about disasters or worldwide events. i’m not expecting it to have a visible impact, but like.. what’s the harm? at the very least it makes me feel like i did something if i don’t have money to give, or i can’t be there with a friend, or the world is falling apart and i’m helpless. praying or saying a spell is just hoping, really, really hard. if some greater being is out there, listening? cool. (but what if god doesn’t wanna do anything? maybe it’s like my cupcake theory. god puts the ingredients in a baking tray, shoves it in the oven, forgets about it. the universe rises as a cupcake. god made it. but the universe is doing its own damn thing.)

regarding tarot cards: again, it’s self-reflection. you can believe answers come from outside influences, but it’s easily just as much about interpreting generic advice and making it mean something to you. but personally i’ve drawn random cards, and known that no other card in the deck would’ve been as relevant at that moment. i’ve used tarot cards to determine the endings for my stories, and coincidentally pulled cards that directly represent my title characters.

one time i was thinking about my fic “The Moonlighter and the Magician” and the card i pulled first was The Magician. and i was like gee thanks tarot cards that’s helpful. (but actually? it meant those cards were on the same wavelength as me. think about it. 78 cards, there’s a one in 78 chance i pull that one on my first try.)

apart from my wonky first-ever tarot readings with the Rider-Waite travel-size tarot deck (which belonged to my mother), i’ve never pulled anything that didn’t eventually make sense. i use The Wild Unknown cards now, i relate to them so much more. plus they’re mine, not borrowed or abandoned for years, which probably helps. (buying those cards was the most money i ever spent on anything. i don’t regret it.)

is any of this like the show ‘supernatural’? not really. the closest i can say my experiences have come to the show would be the episode “faith”. just, the whole episode. it doesn’t matter if it’s the real deal, so long as it works. and boy, does it work for me. and a lot of other people.

like i said, all the spirit-like entities i’ve encountered have been perfectly benign. no monsters, except things i’m pretty sure are nightmares.

but on that note, i take a lot of things to help me sleep. if i didn’t, i’d be waking up screaming night and day (i hit whistle register while screaming, once). i see faces in the dark and creatures in my bedroom, even when my eyes are closed and i’m awake. i sleep with a light on, and i prefer to sleep in the day. i cannot even deal with the presences in my room.

for that matter, my room is definitely the most presence-heavy room in the house. now, although it’s obviously just in a drafty area, i feel the cold spots. all. the. time. i’m feeling one right now as i type this. the door and window are both closed. the heater is always on. the draft comes from the same corner of the ceiling my cat stares at when she’s “staring into space”. there’s definitely something there, but it legit doesn’t bother me. it watches me get dressed sometimes, but it’s not weird about it. like i said, benign.

i feel energy everywhere i go. i can’t stay in my family’s open plan living room comfortably for more than a few minutes, because that room is filled with people and pets coming and going all freaking day, and even when it’s empty, it’s so LOUD. there’s vibrations and voices coming out of the walls, because the house absorbs it all. as a generally tired person, that room exhausts me. i can only stay there if i have social energy. (yes, even an empty room.)

i am so, so sensitive to people’s moods and the energy they let out (to the point where i burst out screaming if i see a negative microexpression during a personal conversation). i find phone calls very difficult, not just because of social anxiety, but because i can’t sense energy as easily as i want to, and is natural for me. skype calls aren’t the same as being there in person. a lot of this could also be autism-related, but nearly everything about me is autism-related, because i’m autistic. go figure.

one time, the day i had my first period, i passed out in a maths exam. all the other times in my life, i’ve seen black or maybe red when i passed out, but this time it was a striking cobalt blue. and i heard SO MANY VOICES, i thought the whole classroom was full of people shouting. my P.E. teacher was observing that exam, she carried me out of the room and lay me on the floor outside. i told her about the voices, she looked at me in confusion and said “there were no voices?? the whole room was silent for the exam.” obviously that was a weird day, but given the amount of times i’ve lost conciousness in my life, before and after that day, i know the warm muggy feeling of slipping away, and i guarantee that one was just a little bit not-normal.

my cat Wilson follows me everywhere. if you’ve ever seen a picture of a witch and her familiar, that’s me and Wilson. she leaves the house if i leave, and she’ll walk down the road beside me to make sure i stay safe. she only lets me leave completely if i go in a car, but even then, she tries to come too. i know what she says when she talks. she speaks in words for me. it translates naturally in my head without a thinking process.

there was this one time when i was about 15 my parents took me to an after-hours medical centre because apparently i was ~speaking in tongues~ or whatever. i don’t remember it, i remember ‘waking up’ with a doctor’s flashlight in my eyes, crying, then holding my sister’s hand as we looked at the fish in the fishtank afterwards. i can’t say how legit that is because i just.. don’t remember it.

one time as a kid, i am absolutely sure i was possessed for about 30 seconds. i was walking down the street on a balmy English afternoon, pine needles scattered underfoot, with my elderly grandmother (paternal), my grandfather, and my sister. i must’ve been 6 or 7? and a streak of evil just bolted through me. and i stuck out my foot and my grandmother fell flat on her face. my grandfather tried to help her up, a car driving by pulled up and asked if they needed help, grandfather said no, and got her back to her feet. i can’t remember if i felt remorse. i think i just knew instinctively that it wasn’t me who did it. but like.. i wasn’t just A Nice Kid, okay, i was The Nicest Kid. i just don’t do things like that. ever. especially not to a kind and generous grandmother who i love so very dearly. i never had before, and i never have since. that’s the single most evil thing i’ve ever done in my life and it came out of nowhere. being more aware now, i think it was a djinn (aka a demon in christian beliefs, i think). they’re known for being mischievous. (my grandmother was fine, by the way. this is the first time i’ve told anyone about this.) now i think about it, i remember cobalt blue behind my eyes then, too.

whoops, this is a really long post now. but uh… basically, i’ve just always been open to feeling these things, and believing in what i sense for myself, without subscribing to whether or not the science has been done yet. in fact, i think i’m open to it because i experienced the same stuff when i was young. the energy i feel is very much real to me, completely tangible. i’ve never been able to see auras, but i feel them on some people. i think just being open to feeling something makes it more likely to come to you. i try not to ignore my instincts (because they’re always right. always.) but i find it’s super hard to distinguish between anxiety (which i feel often) and magical ability (which is far less commonly felt). also sometimes the instinct is so faint it doesn’t even become a passing thought, just a blur of something i half-considered. but in hindsight i realise what it ought to have been, had i paid proper attention.

i can comfortably manage to go outside in bare feet, shut my eyes and let the moonlight do its thing. it has an immensely powerful energy, i always feel cleaner inside when i go back in. (my cat Wilson sometimes asks me to go outside with her when there’s a full moon. almost every night, especially on warm nights, but even freezing ones, we can just stand out there for an hour together. watching the moon set is transcendent. far more so than a sunset.)

right now, due to years of bad health, i have to force some natural abilities away (like the nightmares) because they’re too much for me to handle. i think as i recover, over time it’ll be easier for me to accept that stuff back into my life.

oh, one more thing, regarding my health - i have celiac disease, which has kept me essentially bedridden for the last 7+ years - WHICH BY THE WAY, my family spent literally 9 years trying to diagnose. my doctor kept doing an anaemia test, telling me there was nothing wrong with me and sending me back to school. i saw various specialists, herbalists, a naturopath, physiotherapists, cardiologists, had an MRI scan, saw family counsellors, school counsellors, a hypnotist, etc etc - basically consulted every medical professional under the sun when a simple blood test would’ve done it. stupid misogynistic doctor who thinks all teenage girls fake it to get out of school.

but one thing we did do was visit a psychic, who told me i had something called a candida. my dad, a sceptic and nonbeliever, googled it and said it was “some kind of magical thing in the gut”, and was therefore bullshit, so we continued the search for a diagnosis. years later - years - after a change of doctor (who i chose because i got a good vibe from her picture) we find out it’s celiac disease, a disease of the gut. of the hundreds of people we saw, the only ones to even pinpoint the right body part were the psychics. i googled candida just now and guess what? literally celiac disease. this woman diagnosed me with celiac disease by kneeling at my feet, holding my hand, and shutting her eyes for 30 seconds.

for the record, slightly off topic, i know very few men in real life, and this is what the men in my life have been. my doctor, dismissing me as a liar because i was a teenage girl. and my father, dismissing my declining health as “not trying hard enough”, even now, more than a year after i was diagnosed by a doctor. i think this is why i take refuge with male fictional characters. they’re better. i want them to be soft and understanding like the men i’ve never known.

anyway, this is the part of my life’s story i never really pieced together until right now. it’s a lot, more than i expected. i happily call myself a witch. most of my magic goes into my stories, and i think a lot of people who read them feel it, even if they translate it as passion or love or good vibes or something. the amazing comments i get would speak to that. i love the energy i get from comments, because it does come through in typed words, even if it’s much fainter than seeing people face-to-face. some comments just hit me with waves of goodness, even if the words themselves aren’t so powerful. so i really appreciate that stuff. it’s good stuff.

yep. that’s all. i hope this satisfies your curiosity, anon!!! <3

LATE NIGHTS-taehyung

this is a request from @pastaparad this is shorter than i expected but i am v proud of it lmao SONGS TO LISTEN TO WHILE READING- I found - amber run serendipity- bts come over- dean LEAVE REQUESTS IN INBOX!! hope you like it:) please reblog and like thank you:))

10:52pm: TAEHYUNG: hey, are you okay?
10:54pm: YOU: hey tae, i’m alright. still kinda down
10:55pm: TAEHYUNG: i understand, jimin meant a lot to you, maybe it wasn’t meant to be. Maybe you’re meant for something better, someone better?
10:56pm: YOU: yeah maybe, i just need some time to think about everything.
10:57pm: TAEHYUNG: yeah, it’s getting late. You should get some sleep. Goodnight Y/N.
10:58pm: YOU: goodnight tae.

Ever since you and Jimin broke up things have been rough. He meant a lot to you, he was your everything. But now, all of that’s gone. You felt like you’ve lost everything and everyone. Although it’s been 2 weeks you’re still hurting. Your friends and family acted like they didn’t even care that Jimin broke you. Except one person, Kim Taehyung.

You and Taehyung have been best friends since kindergarten. He has always had your back since the day you two met and he has since this day forward. He isn’t like the others and that’s what you love. Most guys just want to get in a girls pants and then leave her on the side of the road to get called a slut and a whore at school. Taehyung isn’t like that,at all. He is the complete opposite. He’s loving,loyal,caring,sweet,funny and he’s a person who will listen to someone rant for 2 hours and actually listen and give them advice at the end. He’s everything a girl could ask for and you’re grateful he’s your best friend.

12:05am: TAEHYUNG: hey y/n, are you still awake? Sorry if i woke you up.
12:07am: YOU: hi tae, no i’ve been awaking thinking about… you know.
12:08am: TAEHYUNG: i can’t stand seeing you like this.
12:08am: YOU: like what?
12:09am: TAEHYUNG: Y/N you’re hurting and i hate seeing you in pain. So, please sneak out tonight with me so we can just talk, i’ll listen to everything. Please.
12:10am: YOU: tae, if i get caught my parents will actually kill me.
12:10am: TAEHYUNG: if you get caught, i’ll take all the blame. I just wanna talk face to face.
12:11am: YOU: you owe me.
12:12am: TAEHYUNG: okay fine, meet me at the bus stop.

You walk to the bus stop and see taehyung sitting on the bench slightly lit up from the street lamp. He’s wearing a loose white t-shirt,some jeans, and a pair of red vans. His hair is a light brown and it’s slightly messy which makes him look even cuter. You gotta admit you thought he was attractive, okay, really attractive. You shook the thought of your head and continued walking towards him. “ Hi Tae!”, he looks over and immediately shows his rectangular smile and stands up pulling you into a hug. You laugh and he says “ready to talk?”, you give him a shocked look and say ‘’ we’re really gonna talk? I thought you were gonna take me on some wack adventure or something.”, “ I mean we can if you want, anything to make you happy”he says with a smile. You slightly blush and you don’t know what to say. Taehyung breaks the silence and says “let’s walk to the school’’, you nod and follow.
On the way to the school you two pass a lake and you grab taehyungs’ arm to show him the lake. You point at it and say you wanna go there. The moons’ reflection shining in the water and stars are in the sky. Taehyung lets out a small grin and he looks at you while you continue staring at the lake holding his arm. He agrees to stop at the on the way back and you smile and slightly jump and Taehyung smiles at your cuteness. You finally make it to the front of the school and taehyung points to the front steps. You both make your way to the steps and sit down. You both sit in silence for a while until Taehyung speaks up. “ So, you and Jimin.” you sigh slightly forgetting about Jimin until Taehyung brought it up. “Oh yeah” and you let out a quiet sniffle. Taehyung speaks up again in a deep raspy voice “Tell me Y/N, what did he do to hurt you’’. “ I-I caught him cheating on me’’ you said choking on your tears. “ I was walking to work at the cafe and he’s on a date with another girl. He tried telling me it was just a friend but he was putting me off and saying he’s busy’’. You accidently lay your head on Taehyungs shoulder not even caring that he was just your friend, you continue talking you blurt out not even thinking “ besides, during Jimin and I’s relationship I felt like I loved someone else’’. Taehyung sits up straight and that causes you to lift your head off of his shoulder. “ No,no. You can leave your head on my shoulder, I just was thinking about what you were saying’’. You lay your head back onto his shoulder and start crying. Taehyung interlocks his fingers with yours and he lays his head onto yours. He’s never done that before, but you liked it. You felt safe. He stands up still holding your hand and you both start walking towards the stop again. He takes a turn before the stop and leads you to the lake and you both walk on the slim sidewalk. “ You didn’t think I forgot did you?” and you smile and shake up head no, eyes still puffy and red from crying. Taehyung takes off his shoes and shirt and heads into the water you follow him taking your shoes off and walk in. You laugh “Oh my gosh Tae the water is freezing’’, he smiles and brings you further into the water and looking into your eyes underneath the bright moon. “ Y/N can I ask you something?” you nod your head yes and he says with a shaky breath “ Who was the other guy who had eyes for’’, you look down at the water and whisper “…you’’. Taehyung takes a deep breath and places his hand on your chin to lift your head up so your eyes are meeting. “What was that you just said?” , you sigh out of embarrassment and say “Taehyung, I love you.’’. He looks into your eyes with lust and to your lips before smashing his lips into yours for a deep passionate kiss and he lifts you up so your legs wrap around his waist in the water. He pulls away and look into your eyes “ I’ve been waiting my whole life to hear that.” you smile and he smiles back “ I love you too, Y/N.’’. He puts you down and walk out of the water. It’s now about 3:30am and everything is closed. You just now notice taehyung has had a backpack this whole time and he opens it up pulling out a towel and 2 sweatshirts, a pair of sweatpants and a pair of his older sisters leggings. You both get changed and he wraps the towel around you. You jokingly ask about the leggings and he responds “ when my sister moved out she left a few clothing items behind so i just went into her old room and found a pair’’ you smile and ask another question “ How did you know to bring all this stuff’’ he smiles and says “ i saw the lake a few nights ago and i knew you would wanna go there so i brought some dry clothes’’. You laugh and blush at his sweetness and you both interlock fingers again and walk to the bus stop. You both stop and turn towards each other and look in the eyes with lust. He kisses you passionately and you break the kiss and you look at him “ Tae, I don’t this night to be over, I’ve had such a good time and I wanna spend the rest of the night with you.’’ he smiles and takes your hand again and responds “ I wasn’t on planning for it to be over’’, “ I love you, Tae’’, “ I love you too,Y/N".

Originally posted by kimthwriter

anonymous asked:

If you don't mind could I ask why you started shipping saiouma 👀

I don’t mind at all! It’s a ship that’s very dear to me, and the funniest thing is that I really didn’t think I’d wind up getting super invested in any particular ndrv3 ships at all when I first started the game.

It all sort of started with coming to like Ouma as a character first, and then gradually noticing the way he interacted with other characters as well. I was very wary of Ouma pre-release. I wanted to reserve judgment on absolutely everyone’s characters until I had experienced things for myself, so I tried to steer clear of any preconceptions. But still, between his promotional art and title, as well as the fact that the fandom was already quickly pegging him for some kind of “evil chaotic sadist” even prior to the game’s release, I can’t deny that I had my guard up with Ouma in particular.

Then of course, while playing the game I became extremely attached to his character. Around Chapter 2 or so, I started noticing the fact that he was quite literally handing out huge hints and keeping the group alive when he had no obligation to do so. Not only that, but almost all his remarks which were meant to seem “threatening” or “mean” on a surface level always clearly served some opposite purpose.

Keep reading

long personal post sorry lol

Something I think is really interesting is the parallels between cishet inclusionists and religious homophobes. Part of the reason I think I was so much more eager to identify as aroace rather than lesbian (besides the internalized homophobia) was that I was raised in the church. I was a go-to-church-every-Sunday child, I went to religious private school for my entire childhood and part of my adolescence, and I was a Bible Girl.

And deep down I always knew something I felt a little differently than all my straight peers, but I was a Good Christian Girl and Good Christian Girls Aren’t Gay.

And it was right about the time that i started grappling with my faith that I consciously began to question my heterosexuality. Changing your faith is hard, and for me, abandoning my faith meant losing a huge part of my identity. I couldn’t cope with the identity loss, with the fact that I had to re-evaluate everything I had ever believed (because I was the Bible Girl who took my pastor’s word and never questioned anything), and I had an identity crisis.

MOGAI tumblr was so appealing to me because it took so many of the same sentiments the church had instilled in me, gave them Progressive Names, and called them revolutionary. It was an easy way for me to shed my old identity, pretend to be progressive, but not have to actually re-evaluate any of the harmful things I’d been taught and had internalized.

The church taught me a lot of things about sexuality that I’m still unlearning today. 1) having sexual thoughts/feelings about someone else is wrong, that’s reserved for marriage (which is between one man and one woman). 2) Having lots of sexual feelings is wrong and you need to repent. 3) Having feelings for people of the same gender is either a choice you made to get attention or a result of sin. Perhaps being gay isn’t a sin, but doing gay things is and gay people exist because Eve ate the fruit and allowed sin into the world. Homosexuality is a result of sin. 4) Wanting to move fast in a relationship is wrong. Don’t kiss on the first date, don’t let men touch you (even if you want to be touched), any form of sexual expression is inciting assault and is sinful.

And it was easy for me to take MOGAIs principles and just slightly alter things. 1) having sexual thoughts/feelings about someone makes you Allosexual, and they have Privilege over The Aces. 2) There is a normal amount of sexual feelings to have + don’t have sexual feelings (from the church) = being ace is good, being Allo is bad. 3) Being gay isn’t bad, but it’s okay to be grossed out by gay people kissing and holding hands because of romance-repulsion and sex-repulsion. It’s okay if this doesn’t bother you with straight people, but only with gay people. 4) Aces are Pure and Good, and people touching you sexually and wanting to be touched sexually makes you Not Ace which is Not Good

Because so many of MOGAIs principles fit in with what I had been taught in the church. I didn’t need to reevaluate anything, all I had to do was slap a mogai label on myself because I wasn’t “really gay” like the Gay Sinners, and suddenly I wouldnt be going to hell anymore.

I know this post is jumbled and I don’t expect anyone to read this, but I’ve been thinking a lot about my personal issues and how to resolve them and figuring out where they came from is how I’m starting. So, MOGAI tumblr, from the bottom of my heart, thanks for being my knockoff homophobic pastor without the negative correlation and fucking me up even more.

Release A2!

Hey folks! So I’ve gotten a lot of shit done- not a lot a lot, but a decent amount- and have rolled out another update.

Rambling aside: you can find the game itself here.

This includes a lot of the “under the hood” stuff I was talking about in my last post, none of which really has much application so far. But that’s okay! Progress is progress, after all. Expect coming updates to release more quickly now that I’ve got the underlying mechanical crap more hammered out.

If you enjoy the game, be sure to reblog, tell your friends, and get the word out! It’d be much appreciated.

“Aros/aces don’t go through the same things gays/lesbians/bi’s/etc. go through!!!1!!1!” wow…it’s like there are different things each orientation goes through…who knew…

anonymous asked:

Looking back, was Angie really that influencial ? After all, the only persons she rallied to her cause were Gonta and Himiko, the most naive ones, and the others wouldn't have followed her were they still alive. Since she often spouts nonsense and is openly gross, Himiko had no reason to open up to her, except to trigger changes in her dynamic with Tenko. She was my pre-release favorite, but i ended up finding her two-dimensional. That being said, is she more of a plot device than a character ?

That’s an interesting question! It probably depends on how you look at it, really.

On the one hand, it’s true that the only people Angie really influenced to a large degree were usually people like Gonta or Himiko, who are both notoriously gullible. Tsumugi clearly only joined the Religious Student Council for the sake of keeping an eye on things and helping herself fly further under the radar, Kiibo joined because of his curiosity with human religion in general, and Tenko joined under the pretense of being friendly with Angie, but was actually just worried about Himiko. So we can assume those three weren’t nearly as taken in or impacted by Angie’s talent or charisma.

However, I think it’s also true that Angie wasn’t particularly interested in trying to sway everyone to her cause, at least not by brainwashing them. She mostly wants people who will believe what she says at face value and who won’t hesitate to stick up for her or do things for her—basically, she seeks out people who seem naïve and gullible from the start, rather than spending unnecessary time and effort on people who are more skeptical and harder to convince, like Ouma, Miu, etc.

Keep reading

many mothers

I already reblogged a thing about Mad Max: Fury Road and Avengers: Age of Ultron and the contrast between how they deal with motherhood, infertility and what it means to be a woman.

It’s surreal to think that these two movies came out just two weeks apart from one another in the US. In a way I feel a little bit sorry for AoU, because it would have looked like a perfectly okay summer blockbuster if Fury Road hadn’t come barreling down right on its tail and smashed all our pathetic lowball expectations to flaming shards in the sand.

When AoU came out, I had a lot of discussions with people about Natasha’s plotline. Because my gut reaction was certainly a massive eyeroll that the one female Avenger’s deep, dark secret is that she can’t have babies. But also, it’s not like a story about a woman who underwent forced sterilization is something we shouldn’t care about. (And in the US, this is a particular form of restriction of reproductive rights that’s disproportionately affected poor women of color.) And if she internalized the line that was fed to her, that she couldn’t be both a killer and a mother, that certainly doesn’t make it her fault.

But it still frustrated me, and my frustrations were really, really well articulated by this article. You should go and read the whole thing, because it’s excellent. But this is the relevant quote:

There’s nothing wrong with stories about women who are housewives or stories about women who struggle because they were forcibly prevented from having kids as a condition of whatever mission they chose to undertake. The problem is that with so few women in superhero movies, each of these portrayals stands not only for the choices Whedon made, but for all the choices he and many others didn’t and don’t make. The portrayals of Natasha and Laura rankle at some level, for me, not because they are stories about a woman traumatized by not having children and a woman waiting for her husband to come home, but because it’s another story about those two women rather than any of the other bazillion women who could exist in this universe and don’t. If you had five butt-kicking women in this movie, it would seem perfectly logical that one of them might have a story related to getting pregnant or not. Why wouldn’t she?

These, for me, are scarcity problems. They are problems because there are so few opportunities to show women in action blockbusters that I tend to crave something very much capable of moving discussions of what those portrayals can be like forward.

…Scarcity will always drive us back to these same conversations about how every woman carries the obligation to represent What This Director Thinks Women Are For, and absolutely no answer to that question will ever be a good answer.

I think this is an interesting discussion in the context of Fury Road, because, intentionally or not, the movie takes on the scarcity problem in a couple of different ways.

On the most basic level, it gives us lots of women. In a context where studies have found that even background crowds in movies are on average only 17% women, Fury Road is FULL of women. Young women. Old women. Women who are disabled. Women who are physically strong and as skilled with weapons and vehicles as any of the men in their world. Women who are not physically strong but fight anyway. 80-year-old women who ride motorbikes and talk about all the kill shots they’ve made.

Look at the shot at the top of this post. Twelve women on screen at once! That’s more women in a single frame that some movies have speaking parts for.

Max may have his name on the title card, but he spends the movie surrounded by women. Team War Rig starts out as one man and six women; later it’s two men and five women; then it gets supplemented by a bunch more women in the third act. It’s almost an exact flip of the 20% rule of thumb, where one woman for every four men seems normal.

But Fury Road deals with the scarcity problem in another way, too, one that I think is particularly important given the film’s content. It gives us six women all reacting to the same circumstances of slavery and sexual violence, and allows them to have different, individualized, and sometimes contradictory reactions, all of which are presented as valid.

So we have Toast, who counts bullets and loads weapons, who hacks off her hair to spite Joe, who grabs his gun at a key moment and gets pistol-whipped for it, who spits on his corpse when he’s dead. Angharad, who self-injures, who uses her status as Joe’s favorite against him, who can be fearless, or reckless, with her own body, but also clings to nonviolence even when that tactic has limitations in a violent world, who stops Furiosa from killing Nux, but then pushes him out of a moving vehicle seconds later. Capable, who holds onto kindness, understanding and compassion, despite all the violence around her, who trusts Nux when Furiosa is pointing a gun at him and growling, “Get out,” and proves to be correct in her instincts. Dag, who retreats into her own head, but is often the first to sense danger, who hurls insults at her abuser, and also at Max while he’s pointing a gun at them. Cheedo, who gets scared and tries to run back to the person who hurt her, but then later uses her perceived fragility as a weapon. And Furiosa, who holds on to her rage even as she fights her way up the ranks to become Joe’s trusted lieutenant, and finally uses it to end him.

And none of these reactions are treated as better or worse or right or wrong or the correct way to be a survivor of violence. It’s okay to be angry; it’s okay to be kind; it’s okay to be scared. Because there are so many women in the movie, each one of them gets to be a unique character instead of an avatar of What This Director Thinks Women Are For.

Extend that to all of filmmaking, and to all the many kinds of identities that are underrepresented on screen today. That’s how you deal with the scarcity problem.

ATTENTION KNITTERS (and crochet folks too, if you wish)

Reblog this if your blog features knitting and/or crocheting (doesn’t have to be the main focus of your blog). My yarn obsession needs to be fed so I need some blogs to follow. :)

Also I am on ravelry. Feel free to ask for my username.

___ Edit: okay, so I might have just realized it’s a little overwhelming to follow each and every one of you. I expected maybe 5 people to reblog this but the knitting/crochet/yarnlr community is very enthusiastic apparently and a lot more than 5 volunteered as tribute. But feel free to keep reblogging because a lot of people have mentioned they want to use this to find other knitting blogs, too. And I will still add you on ravelry if you ask. And I’ll still be following a lot of blogs on this post. I just can’t promise I’ll get every single one.