expect a lot of these idk

Left Out - G Dragon & CL Poly!AU

Originally posted by toniwang

Summary: When Ji Yong is stuck in a meeting while Chaelin needs some release there is only one person left in the relationship to turn to. 

Genre: Smut, shameless kinky smut

Warnings: I’m gonna get the easier ones down first, swearing and sex, it’s smut what do you expect. Masturbation, oral (both giving and receiving), spanking, branding (scratching), pegging/strap-on, sexting, daddy kink, unnie kink, bondage, girl on girl, eating in the bathroom if that freaks you out, BDSM I think. I’m sorry.

If any of this bothers you then please don’t read. 


A/N: I am so sorry mother and father for I have sinned HARD. Honestly, I’m so scared about posting it, but I’ve already hyped it up a lot so. It’s over 9k words so yeah. Please tell me what you think because idk if it’s good or not. I’m so sorry this might be very bad. Like very bad. 

SIDE NOTE: poly requests are now open to anyone and everyone.

ANOTHER SIDE NOTE: The links in my bio don’t seem to be working so thought I should let everyone know, I’ll try to fix it though so yeah.

ONE MORE SIDE NOTE: If this is bad please let me know. I’m so nervous about this.

~ Admin Brooklyn


Keep reading

(Continuation of this post!)

I’m glad lots of people liked that first one i didn’t expect it to blow up wow. so here’s another one! idk if i can make more because there’s not a lot of footage to work with :P but have this! i also included the one from the previous post just in case anyone hasn’t seen it yet heh.

Isn’t it kind of fucked up that some people become so used to being treated like shit that they start to expect it? Like it’s kind of heartbreaking that there are people that are so genuinely shocked and surprised the moment that they’re treated with kindness and empathy. And it’s so hurtful that this sweet, loving person who just happens to suffer from things that they can’t control has been conditioned to believe that they and their emotions are nothing but a burden to others. And idk. It’s something I think about a lot.

bts said there’s a lot of pressure right before releasing an album bc they never know what to expect and they want the fans reactions to be good and I just wish……. I could see their faces when they see that they had an all kill on Korean charts, spring day is on the top 10 singles on iTunes and the music video has reached almost 3 million views in just 6 hours after releasing it ….. like …. they did so amazing ….. I wanna hug them … and tell them that I love the so much ……

ok but you know what i like about sasha? She is wholesome. 

She is genuinely nice and gentle to people. She’s humble and you can see that she loves the art of drag with passion. Idk it feels to me that when it comes to her, is not about the stardom, or being the prettiest and the most fierce, she just want to be creative, she just wants to show more things about drag. I know a lot of people make fun of her bc she is “too smart” or whatever but there’s pureness, a idealistic way of seeing drag that is just so compelling and awesome.

I know that she is not “fierce” and has a huge personality like it is expected from a drag queen but if the rumours are true, of course i’ll be a bit sad for Shea (especially bc i’ve been rooting for these two since the cast came out and shea won more challenges at the end of the day) but i think Sasha will be an amazing s9 winner and i’m super proud of her, i think the kind of drag that she does and most of all the kind of person that she is will be an amazing addition to the winner’s circle. I think is what it needs to be more complete.

I love how, regarding Phan:

  • They just moved into their third home together.
  • They’ve heavily implied if not outright stated that they want a dog/’forever home’ together.
  • They’re openly going on cute holidays and dates together.
  • Their creepshot war has turned into a mutual “appreciate my husband” campaign.
  • Just everything they do shows how they’re each other’s ‘forever-person’ and they want us to know it.

Meanwhile, the Phandom is:

  • Excited of course, but not surprised.
  • Happy for and supportive of them.
  • Embracing all the changes that are happening.
  • Not overanalysing things the way we used to, and in fact have predicted a few things correctly this year.
  • At its most chill in general.

Basically a lot is happening and while one would expect us to be losing our shit completely, we’re actually being pretty cool about it in comparison to how we could be, meanwhile our love and respect for DnP is only growing.

2017 is the year, people.

I just get so so annoyed by people who come for the Celaena in the first ToG book. People always accuse her of Mary Sueing and not actually being as lethal as she claims and I am like have you considered the following:

-she has spent a year as a slave in Endovier

-she has had to fight every day of that year to remain sane 

-she was whipped. a lot. she was malnourished and weakened when she left the mines.

-it takes her a while to get back into shape after being a slave. like, duh. did you expect her to be killing ppl left and right as soon as she was free?? idk that would unrealistic and isn’t being unrealistic one the things that mary sues get criticized for?? hmmm? like idk u cant have it both ways. 

-the plot of the first book is not about her being an assassin. like, lol, thats part of her past and that is made explicitly clear. can u ppl even read i mean come on

-the plot it literally set up to give us a main character who has an intricate and painful backstory, i mean, her backstory is not completely clear in ToG1, but we do know that Arobyn is a dickhead and Sam is dead and that there is something else horrible lurking in her past. 

-so why are you all surprised when a 16 year old girl is happy to lounge in bed and read and flirt with the crown prince and go to balls

-she has literally been a slave for a year and before that she was an assassin like 

-so like same. fucking same. think about how u would act in her situation. u would flirt with dorian too. and chaol. and u would love nehemia. we all would. 

-can we stop expecting characters who are teenagers to act like they aren’t teenagers

-can u cut teenage girls irl slack as well

-and im sorry was Celaena’s participation in the competition to be the king’s champion not gory enough for you

-i mean is it not enough that she is supposed to kill like 20 other men

-i just…what else is she supposed to do?? she starts to learn about wyrds marks??? she is doing her part to begin the Hero’s Journey™ like ya gotta start somewhere

-again like the plot of tog1 is that she used to be an assassin as in past tense, as in, her assassinating people happened before the beginning of the book not during the book so stop complaining that she doesnt kill enough ppl?? 

-why is whether or not the main character kills anyone a legitimate complaint

-hint: it isn’t.

-there is literally a book called the assassin’s blade that makes her work as an assassin explicitly clear. and she does kill a lot of people. and at this point in time you can read the AB before Tog1 if youd like.

-please dont use the term mary sue to describe female characters. its pretty sexist tbh because we get tons of male characters in fantasy novels written by men who are idealized without ever proving their worth but i only ever see the term applied to teenage girls. like?? have u ever read the name of the wind. it is a bomb book but if u wanna talk about wish fulfillment and mary suing, Kvothe (yes his name is that pretentious) is ur fucking guy. 

-also an integral part of the mary sue trope is that the character is idealized and perfect and uh, Celaena is not perfect. Her flaws are what make her believable. I mean she has had this horrible past and she comes out of it being fairly selfish and a bit cowardly and vain. and thats just…so realistic? I mean that is how you would react if you woke up in a pool of your parents’ blood, were drowned in a river, raised from the age of 8 to be an assassin by an abusive dick wipe who claimed to love you but really just had a creepy crush on you, conditioned to mistrust everyone, had the one person you actually loved in the world be murdered, and then were sold out by your abusive assassin dad to the king who was responsible for your entire family’s death and ended up in the fucking mines as a slave. 

-I see a lot of people say that Celaena is a mary sue and then criticize her for all her flaws and im like…but the mary sue is an idealized character who has no substance to back up their perfection. Celaena cannot be a mary sue and also have all the flaws you claim she has??? that is just false logic?? in fact, Celaena has all of the substance and flaws and life experience to back up her actions and like, none of the perfection. 

-idk what to tell u other than that u have to allow female characters, especially teenage ones, the space to grow? and idk about you but i dont want to read about characters who have zero flaws? I’d rather read about celaena, queen bitchness herself, because hey you know who else is a bitch and immature a lot of the time? Me!!!! Myself!!! 

-But I’ve grown a lot and so does Celaena and idk about you but I am so here for extreme character growth over the course of 6 books like….that is so great…so many authors have flat character growth or no character growth and SJM avoids that completely by giving us a character who has so many issues and ways she could be improving herself.

-stop shitting on celaena for not being the perfect character u want her to be.



@probablyfakeblonde said I can finish some of her sketches (thank you so much, I know I say it a lot, but honestly I needed a way to destress and this was a perfect!)

I did a lot more then I expected, so I’ll have to post them separately.. 

There are far too many people who misinterpret Wuthering Heights as something to be seen as romantic when it is the farthest thing from it. Jane Austen and her novels, those are romantic. Emily Bronte’s novel is Gothic and is meant to depict horrifying, unlikeable characters. We’re meant to see Heathcliff as a big giant asshole so irredeemable that he dies an asshole and never receives forgiveness from anyone nor does he ever ask for it. His love for Catherine can’t even be considered his redeeming point because it is borderline obsessive and way too unhealthy. We are not meant to sympathize with him nor really anyone in this novel. If you go into it thinking it will be some sort of great romance, you will be severely disappointed. This novel explores just how truly selfish and evil we can be as humans, the depths one can go in the name of love (a misplaced sense of purpose), and just truly the ugly side of human nature. It’s not supposed to be pretty. It was meant to be ugly in every form and that’s what makes it so great. 

The Specter of Chad the Aro Fratboy

Note on the text: when I use Straight (with a capital S, I mean heteroromantic, heterosexual, cisgender, and perisex; straightness with the full power of heteronormativity)

Upon checking my tumblr activity feed earlier today, I found myself ungraciously reminded of a stock character aphobes use to try to exclude aromantic people from the LGBTQ+ community:

Chad the Aro Fratboy

I will explain how aphobes use this character, and how the assumptions behind him rely on aphobes’ using heteronormative assumptions.

Chad the Aro Fratboy, as used by aphobes, is assumed to be acting like any insensitive Straight man. Aphobes use him as a shorthand to say things like “including aros includes too many people” or “aromantic people are heartless assholes.” I’m sure they prefer that the recipients of such messages choose whichever one hurts them most.

Chad the Aro Fratboy, in aphobes’ use, likes to fuck women and not call the next day, and claims this makes him part of the LGBTQ+ community.

Why this is bullshit:

1) Let’s consider Chad A, a fratboy who doesn’t experience romantic attraction, but is sexually attracted to women. Because we live in a heteronormative society, he will most likely think he is straight. And because the straight guy who sleeps with women but doesn’t get romantically attached is a trope that exists in society entirely separately from aromanticism, Chad A may very well identify as straight all his life and never examine his orientation more closely. Chad A doesn’t identify with the LGBTQ+ community and so isn’t part of the LGBTQ+ community.

(Aside: Based on my experience, our society is so heteronormative, and Straight privilege is so strong, that it is far more likely for people to have thoughts and experiences that could quite logically lead them to consider themselves not Straight, but still define themselves as Straight, than for people who have thoughts and experiences that align with Straightness to look for ways to be considered LGBTQ+.)

Back to Chad A. Chad A, who, thanks to the third person omniscient viewpoint, we know as aromantic heterosexual, happens to be in an environment that leads him not to question his orientation at all. (This is today’s society. There is no widespread encouragement of questioning.) Chad A never identifies as anything but straight, doesn’t attempt to enter the LGBTQ+ community, and so what he could identify as if he questioned himself is a moot point.

2) Now let’s consider Chad B. Chad B has become familiar enough with LGBTQ+ terminology to know what aromanticism is, and based on his understanding of himself, has decided to self-identify as aromantic.

Aphobes who deny aromanticism exists will say that Chad B is doing this to have an excuse not to call women after having sex with them. However, this jerk behavior (not calling women back who want to be called back) is a well-known straight trope. Chad B using his aromanticism as an excuse—well, honestly, I find that laughable. Chad B identifying as aromantic is not the easiest excuse. If Chad B wanted to give the easiest excuse, he would fall back on the straight trope of men just not caring about the women they have sex with that much after having sex with them. Everyone knows how that trope goes because it’s 1,000,000 times more likely to show up in a movie than a self-identified aromantic character. If Chad B isn’t a jerk and communicates to his partners that he’s aromantic and doesn’t want this to be a romantic thing, he’s not making an excuse. He’s setting himself up to give a vocab lesson.


But maybe I’m attacking this issue from the wrong angle.

I mean, aromanticism is the absence of romantic attraction. That’s all. Aros are no less likely to form other forms of deep attachment than non-aros. Whether Chad A or Chad B is going to be a jerk isn’t really the center of all this.

The specter of Chad the Aro Fratboy relies on the heteronormative idea that Chad is heterosexual in addition to being aromantic, and the sexist assumption that there aren’t any women who would be glad to have a sexual but not romantic relationship. The truth is, if Chad identifies as aro, he could be heterosexual, but he could also be gay, bi, or pan. (I lived a block down from a frat once that had “we’ve got straight guys/we’ve got gay guys/we’ve got guys that swing both ways” included in the lyrics to their particular frat’s drinking song.) And if Chad is clear with his sexual partners about what he expects to develop from the encounter, as I think would be ideal no matter the orientations of any of those about to rock, then, well, what would be the complaint? That he told his sexual partners the truth and they didn’t believe him and that’s Chad’s fault for being aromantic? That chain of logic doesn’t haul anything unless you just hate Chad.

Chad the Aro Fratboy as an aphobe trope insults aromantic people by implying that they will be less clear in their expectations regarding a sexual encounter than non-aros.

Chad the Aro Fratboy as an aphobe trope insults aros by implying that those who identify as aro haven’t done a lot of thinking about their orientation.

Chad the Aro Fratboy as an aphobes trope reveals a disconnect from reality in the intercommunity conflict on aphobes’ part. Out in brickspace, no one’s claiming a LGBTQ+ identity to get into LGBTQ+ spaces. If Chad wanted to, idk, hit on all the poor bi and pan women at the campus LGBTQ+ club meeting, he wouldn’t have to give up his Straight privilege to do so. He could call himself an ally.

There are no real Chad the Aro Fratboys as aphobes try to hinder arospec inclusion with. The trope only serves to display aphobes’ nasty assumptions about aros.

something i’ve noticed a lot with my earth moon and my friends with earth moons is that we get very upset when plans change. if we were expecting something or planning for something and something changes, we get very upset and frustrated and the change feels very overwhelming. especially if something we expected doesn’t turn out the way we planned or how we thought it would turn out. i know i like to know exactly what to expect and if it changes, i can’t wrap my head around it or i get very frustrated, i like to plan and know exactly what is going to happen

I Still Exist

Requests: Omg your stories are awesome! I was wondering if I could suggest a newt x reader with the song “Where Do We Go” or “Shatter Me” by Lindsey Stirling? Where the reader feels kinda neglected and depressed for quite some time and newt fails to notice because he is in a lot harsher mood and snaps a lot as a result of working on his book? And one day she goes “missing” and worries newt? Lots of angst pls!(Idk it sounded a lot better in my head)You can come up with the rest. Thanks!       AND      hi !! i really love your stories, and i was wondering if i could request an v angsty one where newt is under a lot of stress and snaps at reader? ❤️❤️

Word Count: 2,701

Pairing: Newt x Reader

Requested by Anonymous

Requests are currently open! Feel free to one in

The workshop smells about how you’d expected when you crawl into the case. A burning mixture evaporates somewhere nearby, partly covering up the odors of the various feed bags for the creatures and the plate of raw meat rotting on the table. You shake your head, disgusted, and slip past the shed. Scanning the field, hand over your eyes to block out the blinding sun, you spot Newt next to a murtlap. He’s on his knees saying something to the snarling creature. You swallow down the heart breaking in your chest. He’s exchanging more words with that beast than he has with you in the past month.

“Newt. Newt!” You shout, crossing through tall grasses and kicking stones out of your way. For God’s sake, “Newt!”

He twists enough to ensure it’s you before turning his back on you. “One minute, love.”

Hands on your hips, you wait as he chatters with the beast. It’s not that you’re against his research, it’s that he’s trying to cram chapters worth of new material into the book. You’d supported his idea when he first told you a month and a half ago. Now, though, you’re not sure you would’ve been so encouraging had you known he would spend every waking minute in the case without you.

“I don’t have all day, Newt. I have to get to the bakery with Queenie before it closes.”

He shakes his head, facing you. “I’m busy, love. Can’t it wait?”

You can feel the tension in his voice, strengthened, no doubt, by the bags under his eyes. “I just need to know if you’d prefer apple or peach pie for dessert.”

He mumbles something that sounds like ‘that’s it?’ but when you question him, he simply says, “I said it’s your choice. I’m sure you’ll make the right one.”

Keep reading


Because it’s all I’ve been able to talk and think about today…

Up. Down. A little twist to the side. Now a large ‘O’. And a small pinch.

If you were being honest, you had no idea what he was saying. Not because of his strong accent that you loved, or the fact that he spoke lowly and slowly, which would drive you absolutely insane if it were any other person. No, you had no idea what he was saying because his lips were moving and once more you were in a trance. 

It was fascinating to look at, his mouth. How you could even put your headphones on and block out the sound and still see his accent. His lips were… Something else entirely. 

It’s a bit embarrassing, you had to admit. If he were to direct the word straight to you, you would need him to repeat himself over and over before properly being able to answer him. You were glad he was speaking to the group of people gathered in your living room, and not just to you. In fact, you didn’t know how you had managed to become and stay friends with him when all you could do was get hypnotised by his lips every time he talked. 

The way he said his ‘Buh-’ sounds. The fact that he never pronounced the ‘tt’s in ‘better’. The pout he pulled when he got stuck in his ‘uhmmm’s. The little bites when he was paying attention to someone else speak. No wonder they are such a vibrant shade of pink. They were soft, you knew that. The cheeky British charm he carried seemed to come with a proper kiss to your cheek when he greeted you, and nothing like the semi awkward cheek-touching-cheek-hello ‘you americans’ - as Harry put it - would do.

There goes another pinch at them. You remind yourself to nod and look around the room to try and hide your pointed looks, but you weren’t being as sly as you thought you were. Not knowing whatever was your friends kept babbling on about, your eyes soon found their way back to the thing they love to look at the most.

“You’re doing that again” the words knocked you out of the trance you were in. Your friend had leaned over and whispered to you as discreetly as possible, which you were thankful for, as she pushed an empty bowl of chips to your chest. Right, time to act like the host you were. She got up and followed you to the kitchen continuing the hushed conversation.
“Doing what?” you ask legitimately confused.
“Staring at Harry’s face” Ah, so it was that obvious. Whoops. You made a mental note to stop that and try to join the conversation when you eventually went back to the living room, in hopes to avoid the absentminded stare. 
“I’m not looking at his face” you started but decided to cut yourself. The only thing worse than your friend thinking you stared at Harry’s face cause you liked him, was for her to know that you didn’t stare at his face, but just at his lips cause they piqued your interest in ways you couldn’t comprehend yourself. Pouring whatever was left of the chips into the bowl, you quickly returned to the relaxing get together in your living room. At least your best friend knew to stay quiet in front of the others, and wouldn’t bombard you with more thoughts in the matter while the rest of the gang was around. 

Joining the chat was easy, staying in it was a different feat. The lads varied from topic to topic, dominating the direction the small reunion took, mostly with jokes and football talk. It wasn’t your fault the topic was so boring to you that you had to busy yourself with studying Harry’s lips from across the room once again. It wasn’t your fault he was the only British guy in the group which made his accent interesting and amusing, specially when he called soccer football or footie, and defended his position whenever the other guys would transition to american football
“Noo. ‘Mean ‘soccer’. Real football tha’ is. Played wif’ actual balls and feet, innit?” it was something no one in the group would let him live down. Same with the word trousers which made you giggle, and the way he introduced himself something more like “ ‘M ‘arry.” instead of  “I’m Harry”.

In all honesty, it made you even more captivated by his lips. And today specially, for some unknown reason, you were very very fixated on them. More than usual. And you swore that one day you would grow used to them with him being your close friend and all, but that day didn’t seem to be today. So you just resigned to stare silently and hope no one noticed.

Having little get togethers at home meant you had to do the cleaning after, but luckily your best friend had stuck around, and so had Harry with whom you fell into a nice ‘you rinse, I dry’ system while your best friend attended a seemingly very important phone call out in your backyard. Your attention was fully set into drying and stacking plates and utensils. Harry’s attention was halfway set on washing, halfway set on trying to stop a telling smirk from forming on his face

You didn’t know but Harry knew. 

He had known for a while now. At first he noticed only slightly that you weren’t fully there when he spoke to the whole group. He noticed how you would sometimes fidget and ask him to repeat somethings when he spoke to you alone, pinning it on his accent and the way he annoyingly slurred words. And slowly he found himself glancing at you only to see you were already looking in his direction. He never mentioned anything, slowly coming to the conclusion that for some reason you were looking at his lips.

And for some reason he liked that. 

After the last plate Harry leaned over the counter peeking through the small window in your kitchen at your friend pacing and chatting away on her phone.
“Wha’ do yeh reckon ‘s so important?” he puckered his lips in her direction, as if he was pointing to her without his hands, and you were gone. His bottom lip jutted out only a tad more than his upper lip. You hadn’t noticed that before.

Harry looked at you from the corner of his eye, only to catch you once again. Ok this was beyond his control. Today had been the day. You weren’t doing a nice job at being sly about it and he wondered if maybe you meant for him to notice. He doubted it, knowing you he was sure that you would be completely terrified about him knowing you look at his lips because… Because what? He didn’t know why you did that. He licked his lips self consciously, just to get whatever it is you could be staring at off his lips, if that was even the reason you stared. But you pressed on for a second longer before turning to look out the window as well.
“Yeh know…” Harry started, turning around and resting on the counter smugly. Arms crossed over his chest as he pouted, bit and licked his lips over and over, like a person who’s thinking hard about what to say next. Your attention was on him, his eyes this time. You knew better than to just straight up glare at his lips when it was only you and him. “Yeh do tha’ an awful lot”
“What?” your eyebrow raised in confusion.
“Look at m’lips” the smirk that accompanies the sentence is not lost to you, and you find yourself getting warm cheeks and taking a small step back at the mention.  


What?” this time your what was more of an incredulous, surprised ‘what.’ As if you couldn’t believe what he was saying, or better yet that he noticed. Harry only nodded slightly, turning to face you.
“I do notice…” he bites back “s’okay… though I’d love t’know why”
“There’s no why because I don’t look at your lips all the time” In Harry’s head it was futile for you to try and defend the point. He knew you did and that was final. You didn’t know why you did it – deep down maybe there was the thought of wanting to properly kiss him but you always shook it off, – so you can’t really give him an explanation. In the midst of your thoughts he had somehow gotten closer.
“I mean, if yeh want to kiss me” there’s suddenly no space between his chest and yours, and at this distance all you can do is stare at his lips, because who wouldn’t “all yeh hafta’ do is say the word”
“H-harry, get off y-your high horse” you’re able to spew out with a whispery thread of a voice. The chuckle that leaves his pinker than life, softer than a cloud lips throws you off. This is the cockiest you’ve seen Harry act, and right now you can’t decide if you’re okay with it or want him to back off. 
“C’mon now”
“Harry…” his hands, which also fascinate you - he can’t keep them still, and seems to always have more rings than it would be socially acceptable if it wasn’t cause his boyish charm just seems to go perfectly with 7 rings and helps him get away with mostly everything- come to thumb at your lower lip. 

His eyes were fixated on them since the moment he got this close, but there was no way you could realise that because your eyes were already trained on his cupid’s bow and light stubbly shadow of a moustache. He also liked how plump they were and if you didn’t greet him with the cheek-touching-cheek bullshit, he would know just how soft they were too, except now he could tell because he was touching them. This close, you can definitely see a freckle on his lips and quite frankly you didn’t know his mouth could get anymore hypnotising… But here we are. And his lips move but you do catch the sounds as he opens and closes his mouth in the most endearing of ways.
“S’okay. I stare at yours an awful lot too…”

I do NOT know what this was. It certainly turned out longer than I expected (I didn’t even expect to write anything) and took another direction than I imagined (it was just supposed to be you thinking about his lips, none of his perspective type of thing. But here we are) So… Yeah… Here’s something. IDk. It’s not a blurb and it’s not a fic either. Just a group of words.

part 2 here:)

kay, bye.
Iv. xo.

Let me just say this:

LeFou isn’t just “not as bad as everyone feared”

He’s wonderful.

He’s a GREAT character, his sexuality is central to who he is but it’s not all there is to him, he’s in love with Gaston but he’s not an idiot, he’s his own person and he is a GOOD person. He’s a SWEET person. He’s a KIND person. 

Like, would I have preferred if Lumiere and Cogsworth had been together? Obviously. But LeFou is a main character, he’s a wonderfully complex character, and tbh? I’m really pleased with what we were given 

like sorry idk how to tell you this but LeFou is wonderful and he’s waaaaay better gay rep than I expected Disney would ever give us. He’s a fuck of a lot better than the 0.23 second glimpse of a lesbian couple in Finding Dory lol sorry but a complex, three-dimensional fat gay man is good representation! GOOD representation. not “passable, not completely insulting representation” but GOOD. 

anonymous asked:

Did you like this chapter? Thoughts?

Yup, I liked it a lot. Thank you for asking this question, because I have many things to say about this chapter. Forgive me in advance for what I feel it will be a long reply. 

First of all, I was surprised (though I shouldn’t have been) at Akira’s coldness towards Kaneki. I get where she’s coming from and I understand how hard it must be to digest this sudden change, and everything that goes with it. Flat out acceptance would have been unrealistic and the result of bad writiing, because Akira couldn’t possibly have gone from a mindset in which she represented Justice, and she had no reason to doubt her moral standing, to one where she must admit to herself that her worldview was limited and bigoted, and that the world isn’t as black and white as the Academy would have liked them to envision. 

Despite that, I wasn’t expecting for her to shut Kaneki out completely (and for killing Arima on top of that, which is a lie for f*** sake Akira c’mon, you can figure that much out!), because however confusing her feelings might be right now, he’s one of the few people she’s closest to in Goat, and that’s true the other way around, too. I feel like Akira needs Kaneki’s perspective on this new situation she’s been forced into by her own rash decision-making, because unlike Seidou or Amon, who are in it because of circumstances, Kaneki is her only ally that’s in it because he fully believes in what he’s doing. Amon is getting there, too, what with his forgiveness of Touka and with his newfound way of channeling his anger and grief towards the unfairness of the world instead of random scapegoats like faceless “Ghouls”. But I don’t know. I feel like Kaneki’s perspective is important, too. And having Akira’s approval is even more symbolic for him, I reckon. 

She’s still a mother figure for him. We all can agree of how positive of a character development this could lead to, if he were to finally have a healthy and supportive mother figure for a change. Eto has always used him for her machinations. He needs someone who can guide him and respect him without asking anything from him, without taking anything from him. Akira can (and will) be that person, imho.

Anyway, I’m positive that she’ll come around eventually. She’s smart, strong-willed and perceptive. There’s no way she won’t pull herself together in order to follow her heart instead of suppressing her feelings and get things taken from her, even if her whole narrative wasn’t centered around the theme of being left alone. She just needs a bit of time to sort out her feelings and find a new reason to fight. and that can happen only after she talks it out with a few characters currently part of Goat. I’m really looking forward to her confrontation with Hinami and Touka in particular, though I’m also curious about her feelings towards Takizawa (if he’s not dead). 

On a side note, I really love how Ishida pointed out the irrationality of Hinami’s feelings towards Akira. Grief doesn’t obey logic, and even though she does realize that Akira has nothing to do with the cold-blooded murder of both her parents, she can’t help but associate her with it, anyway. It’s a curious diversion from the usual theme that states “the children pay for the sins of their parents”, because even if Akira didn’t do anything wrong per se, she’s not innocent, since she did approve of her father’s doing and she would have done the same in his place. She doesn’t see Ryoko’s and her husband’s death as a sin at all, and instead used the quinque derived from Mr. Fueguchi with the obvious pride of someone who thinks they’re fighting for the right side. So I’m curious as to how Ishida intends on smoothing out this particular conflict, and how it will affect both Akira’s and Hinami’s character development. 

Forgive me for my obvious bias, but Ayato too deserves a small mention, here.

This scene gives me SO MANY FEELS for so many reasons ;n;

The way I see it, this scene wasn’t portraying just Hinami’s grief. Just look at Ayato’s expression right before he goes to comfort her. Ayato knows where Hinami’s coming from. He too lost both his parents, and he too knows what it feels like to have his own life saved at the cost of his mother’s, who chose to stay behind in order to buy her children time to escape. Just. He knows how she’s feeling because he’s already felt it all, too. 

I love that their relationship isn’t based on forced companionship. It might have been like that at first, but they grew to be such mature and strong people thanks to the support and trust they gave to each other, thanks to the shared burdens and mutual understanding of each other’s pain. Idk, this scene might have been really brief but it meant a lot to me. 

Moving on: Amon and Touka’s talk. *Deep breaths* What can I say. It beat all possible expectations I might have had. 

I think that in a sense it was exactly Amon’s unyielding sense of justice that brought him where he is now. He says it himself: he doesn’t hold a grudge against Touka specifically anymore, but he would have arrested her anyway, if he was still an investigator. That was the right thing to do; setting a moral example for everyone to see so that no one else will have to undergo the same pain. That’s the kind of justice of a ghoul investigator. But this sense of justice itself was flawed, because it didn’t take into account Touka’s own take on justice, and how it was Mado the bad guy from her perspective. So arresting her can’t be the answer. Not only that, but he’s no longer an investigator, so he can’t appeal to the sense of justice of one. 

He himself has changed, and so his moral grounding has to change, too. So then, it comes to this:

This scene is one of my favourites of the whole chapter because it doesn’t just represent Amon’s character development, but also Touka’s absolution. You see that shocked face Touka pulls? I can assure you that Amon’s forgiveness means a great deal to her. This was Touka after Ryouko’s death:

“It doesn’t matter if a murderer like me dies.”

She doesn’t sugarcoat it for her own sake. She’s aware that what she does, killing people to survive, is wrong. She doesn’t conveniently brush it off as something she needs to do because she’s born that way, unlike other characters. She’s always felt this conflict more than other people. Killing never came easy to her, and deep down, she feels obvious guilt over what she does. So having Amon, a former human and enemy, come to her specifically with the intention of telling her that the real evil is not her nature but the circumstances that make men monsters, is really important for her character. For the first time, someone who has every right to hate her, to want her dead, is offering her acceptance. If Kimi’s comment about Touka’s kagune was meant as a “you’re as valid as I am” moment, I consider this talk with Amon as a “you’re as evil as I am” moment. Both were very important for Touka’s character development, and a necessary step towards her own acceptance of her dark past in order to move forward. 

Then there’s Furuta’s moment of glory. Gosh, he leaves me speechless every time. :’D The way he’s not taking the ceremony seriously is very significant imho. Once again, he proves that his role in the story is that of the comedy to Kaneki’s tragedy

Take this single panel as an example:

Kaneki’s group is facing an internal crisis? Meanwhile, Furuta is at the peak of his power. Kaneki despairs because he’s a horrible leader and his organization is only held together by the lack of other options, meanwhile Furuta laughs in the face of his own success, and all of his scheming give way to the exact outcome he’s envisioned. 

I love how he keeps being the comedic aspect of this whole tragicomedy of a story, how he keeps up the facade of the “six year-old” while feeling dead inside, and I love how he chose to wear a stupid mask the moment he reached his goal, because it only stresses further the artificial nature of his own playfulness. 

Just think about it from a narrative perspective: this is the moment that we, as readers, should feel threatened by him. This is the moment he officially becomes the Enemy, because everyone in the CCG accepts him as the leader. Instead, we laugh at him. We don’t feel threatened at all. We’re asked not to see him as the final villain, but as a joke, as another victim of the system. A guy who in his moment of glory, when everyone’s looking his way, chooses to wear a mask, and chooses to treat his victory as a laughing matter. Idk, the more I think about it the more it makes me want to cry. This guy doesn’t have anything (or anyone) else but his sense of humour, and he clings to it like a lifeline. It’s such a lonely, empty existence… I know I shouldn’t pity him after all he’s done but…

Anyway, anyway. This post is already long as it is so I’m going to stop there. Thanks again for giving me an excuse to vomit all my thoughts/feelings of this chapter! o/ I hope it was an interesting read :’D

I was on the subway home (from the sm concert amazing) during baekhyuns ig live so I missed a lot but here’s some stuff I caught (im also on mobile so sorry about the formatting):

- baekhyun was in the car home from the concert he said he washed his hair and stuff and was headed home (idk how he did that so fast tho)
- baekhyun mentioned how there were a lot of aeris today even tho it was hot he was worried he said he peeked from backstage a few times to see
- they only ate breakfast all day??? And then did a concert ?????? Ummm?????? 😤😤
- Minseok was in the car also
- bbh said they were expecting rain (bc it’s been rainy all week in seoul) but it didn’t really rain but it was so hot he wished it rained a little ☔️
- he said he messed up a lot in monster and then minseok laughed at him in the bg lmfao
- he sang some songs I couldn’t tell what they were (again I was on the subway) and I think at one point he did an impersonation while singing bc a fan asked?? And Minseok was laughing ?? Correct me if I’m wrong
- someone asked if they changed coordis and he said ‘did we change coordis ?? No’ but then a few sec later was like 'uh idk’ ekdhekdj
- he showed us a can of a drink he said he likes a lot I think it was a carbonated peach drink 🍑 but I’m not 100% sure
- at one point he did some pun with sm and the produce 101 season 2 song
- and then he started to introduce himself as if he was a trainee on produce 101 dodhshsjehshskd 'hi I’m bbh from sm entertainment’ etc binch BYE kshsiend 👋
- he said he was tired 😴 a few times at one point he yawned/screamed 'IM TIRED’ it was c*te
- baekhyun showed us close ups of his eye and was whispering bye aeries into the phone lmfao
- he ended with stuff about how exo is coming soon and to wait a little and thanking ppl and saying he’ll become better etc how sweet 😖😖
- I’m love him 💕💕💕