exo suju

Yo fam we ought to talk. Don’t expect rock hard abs from idols. When they lift their shirts up- hope to see a nice plump lil tumtum from eating good and staying healthy m8. Aight? Aight.

THE WORST™

-mnet (honestly, THE WORST)
-channel+
-international streaming
-underrated groups disbanding
-fan wars
-mnet editing
-companies not appreciating girl groups
-lack of support to idols dealing with mental illnesses and eating disorders
-mnet being FAKE™
-netizens acting problematic, like 80% of the time, tearing idols apart
-lack of privacy for idols
-MNET

PLEASE READ THIS AND TAKE IT SERIOUSLY

WRITTEN BY A COP: Everyone should take 5 minutes to read this. It may save your life or a loved one’s life. In daylight hours, refresh yourself of these things to do in an emergency situation… This is for you, and for you to share with your wife, your children, & everyone you know. After reading these 9 crucial tips, forward them to someone you care about. It never hurts to be careful in this crazy world we live in.

1. Tip from Tae Kwon Do :The elbow is the strongest point on your body. If you are close enough to use it, do!

2. Learned this from a tourist guide. If a robber asks for your wallet and/or purse,
DO NOT HAND IT TO HIM. Toss it away from you… Chances are that he is more interested in your wallet and/or purse than you, and he will go for the wallet/purse.
RUN LIKE MAD IN THE OTHER DIRECTION!

3. If you are ever thrown into the trunk of a car, kick out the back tail lights and stick your arm out the hole and start waving like crazy.. The driver won’t see you, but everybody else will. This has saved lives.

4. Women have a tendency to get into their cars after shopping, eating, working, etc., and just sit (doing their checkbook, or making a list, etc.
DON’T DO THIS!) The predator will be watching you, and this is the perfect opportunity for him to get in on the passenger side, put a gun to your head,
and tell you where to go. AS SOON AS YOU GET INTO YOUR CAR ,
LOCK THE DOORS AND LEAVE..

If someone is in the car with a gun to your head DO NOT DRIVE OFF, Repeat:
DO NOT DRIVE OFF! Instead gun the engine and speed into anything, wrecking the car. Your Air Bag will save you. If the person is in the back seat they will get the worst of it. As soon as the car crashes bail out and run. It is better than having them find your body in a remote location.

5. A few notes about getting into your car in a parking lot, or parking garage:
A.) Be aware:look around you, look into your car, at the passenger side floor ,
and in the back seat.
B.) If you are parked next to a big van, enter your car from the passenger door.
Most serial killers attack their victims by pulling them into their vans while the women
are attempting to get into their cars. C.) Look at the car parked on the driver’s side of your vehicle, and the passenger side.. If a male is sitting alone in the seat nearest your car, you may want to walk back into the mall, or work, and get a guard/policeman to walk you back out. IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY. (And better paranoid than dead.)

6. ALWAYS take the elevator instead of the stairs. Stairwells are horrible places to be alone and the perfect crime spot. This is especially true at NIGHT!)

7. If the predator has a gun and you are not under his control, ALWAYS RUN!
The predator will only hit you (a running target) 4 in 100 times; and even then,
it most likely WILL NOT be a vital organ. RUN, Preferably in a zig -zag pattern!

8. As women, we are always trying to be sympathetic: STOP It may get you raped, or killed. Ted Bundy, the serial killer, was a good-looking, well educated man, who ALWAYS played on the sympathies of unsuspecting women. He walked with a cane, or a limp, and often asked ‘for help’ into his vehicle or with his vehicle, which is when he abducted his next victim.

9. Another Safety Point: Someone just told me that her friend heard a crying baby on her porch the night before last, and she called the police because it was late
and she thought it was weird.. The police told her ‘Whatever you do, DO NOT
open the door..’ The lady then said that it sounded like the baby
had crawled near a window, and she was worried that it would crawl to the street and get run over. The policeman said, 'We already have a unit on the way,
whatever you do, DO NOT open the door.’ He told her that they think a serial killer
has a baby’s cry recorded and uses it to coax women out of their homes thinking that someone dropped off a baby.. He said they have not verified it, but have had several calls by women saying that they hear baby’s cries outside their doors when they’re home alone at night.

10. Water scam! If you wake up in the middle of the night to hear all your taps outside running or what you think is a burst pipe, DO NOT GO OUT TO INVESTIGATE! These people turn on all your outside taps full blast so that you will go out to investigate and then attack.

Stay alert, keep safe, and look out for your neighbors! Please pass this on
This e-mail should probably be taken seriously because the Crying Baby Theory was mentioned on America ’s Most Wanted when they profiled
the serial killer in Louisiana

I’d like you to forward this to all the women you know.
It may save a life. A candle is not dimmed by lighting another candle..
I was going to send this to the ladies only,
but guys, if you love your mothers, wives, sisters, daughters, etc.,
you may want to pass it onto them, as well.

Send this to any woman you know that may need
to be reminded that the world we live in has a lot of crazies in it
and it’s better to be safe than sorry..
Everyone should take 5 minutes to read this. It may save your life.

Only in K-Pop

- Satan himself editing TV shows

- googling your favorite without makeup… and that favorite is male

- hardcore rappers doing aegyo

- hair color predicts promotional activity

- fancams are better than actual cameras

- airport fashion hysterics

- the more hip thrusts, the more famous the group

- law of the jungle 

- moles

- the most high quality MV productions ever

- idols exposing each other

- contact lenses

- running man absurdities

- toy hammers and random play dance torture

- abs causing fanwars

- the problematic concept of having a bias

- most K-Pop stars: student by day, famous idol by night

- people getting scared to death by pyrotechnics and confetti

- tons of cf and magazine photoshoot material

- grown men making advertisements for delicate facial cream

- dancing with canes

- twitter antics

- SMTM, the best television drama there is

- slept on girl groups

- it’s not “selfie”, it’s “selca”!

- jenga

- traffic safety videos

- reaction cams

- practise room footage

- instagram wars

- fans getting obsessed with the weirdest body parts

- fur coats and chokers

- idols getting famous for their way of laughing

- your favorite making better memes than you

instagram

sm workshops get fuckin lit man

SM groups as family members

TVXQ: the dad of the fam v cool every mom in the nursery has a crush on him

SUJU: the dotting uncle u have will embarrassed u in front of ur friends someone pls stop him

SNSD: sister who’s popular in school everyone wants to be friends w them is always late in family gathering and arrives looking lit af w starbucks on hand

SHINEE: ur brother forgotten by ur grandfather but is v cool with it. always the life of family gathering. ATE THE WHOLE CAKE ONCE ACCIDENTALLY

fx: ur cousin who’s popular in social networks. has 700 likes w one of her selca and does yt tutorial for aesthetic makeup

exo: popular younger brother but is a walking meme. will probably fight anyone who fights u. still dabs bcos millenial

red velvet: bby sister too pure for dis world but is secretly evil. gave u a cookie once which melted ur heart. It’s raisins.

nct: the youngest cousin and the baby of the whole fam. trying v hard and is confused w what he’s doing most of the time.