exo fuckery

The Real Reason why Luhan had to be the lead in the Wolf MV
  • Suho:Hardcore parkour? Does it look like my hips are ready for that shit?
  • Chanyeol:No thanks; I'd rather take a foot to the balls.
  • Baekhyun:My make-up game isn't on point; I can't let the camera see me like this.
  • D.O:And give up having my beautiful bb Kai worry himself sick over my wellbeing? Hahahahahaha no.
  • Kai:And give up getting the chance to "fight" Luhan in the second part? Hahahahahahah no.
  • Sehun:And give up the chance to pine after Lulu and give the fangirls tons of homosexual subtext? Hahahahahahahaha no.
  • Xiumin:I could be the lead and the camera still wouldn't find me.
  • Lay:No thanks; parkour isn't my thing. I'd rather sleep.
  • Kris:Sorry; I have to go do some Canada stuff.
  • Chen:I would have been the lead, but the girl was taller than me even with my insoles on. -Shakes head- Besides, my face is too pretty for that parkour shit. Bitch, swerve.
  • Tao:Why didn't they make me the lead?! I would have been way better; I'm handsome, I can fight, I'm decked out in Gucci and Versace! I mean c'mon! Look at me! Versace Versace Versace Versace
So I had this conversation with my Dad the other day
  • Dad:Man I want to get a tattoo
  • Me:Really now, what kind of design?
  • Dad:idk something badass, like a phoenix or a dragon. Or better yet a phoenix riding a dragon
  • Me:*snorts*
  • Dad:What?
  • Me:Nothing
  • Me:*thousands of dirty Krisyeol thoughts go through my head at the speed of light*

Ok so far what I’ve gathered from all the Pathcode teasers is:

1. Jongin now knows that his number one fan *coughs*Chanyeol*coughs* likes to stalk him in his free time
2. Tao can apparently read Spanish? ??
3. Chanyeol needs to stop doing crack so he won’t keep waking up in the middle of nowhere
4. Xiumin looks really fucking good when he’s drunk. Also, shORTS
5. Sehun’s starting to hang out with people that are his age
6. Suho doesn’t want to deal with being a single dad anymore
7. Chen doesn’t have a single bad angle for God’s sake
8. Baek- EL DORADO
9. Lay’s still in love with Baekhyun’s grandmother and is now sending her love notes
10. The dark lord is finally rising

Exo in the Haunted House
  • Chen:The Good Samaritan that gave the ghosts hot packs and made sure they were okay
  • Xiumin:Drank tiger blood beforehand; gave no fucks and swagged through
  • Everyone else:Pussies