exits and enterances

Can someone help?

I have extremely bad allergies, wich make it almost impossible for me to sleep at all. I feel like I have a bad cold 24/7. I need to wash my sheets very often, so that I can somehow sleep, but washing them takes all day, because the washing maschine and drier take forever. I’m 19 and live with my mother. She let a friend of hers stay for a few nights. The friend stayed in a bedroom, which is in front of my room. So when I want to exit or enter my room, I have to go through the room that she was sleeping in as well. Since I couldn’t wash all of my sheets together, I had to of course walk to the washing maschine and back a few times to check/switch the sheets. I was extremely tired by 11 pm already and just wanted to sleep but couldn’t because I didn’t have any sheets (I can only use those sheets, because they are special sheets for allergies.) And also because my allergies made me feel horrible. I was being as considerate and quiet as possible when walking and opening/closing doors, so that she wouldn’t wake up. But she still did. I was so exhausted and sick (which is actually almost always the case) and just wanted to sleep, which in turn made me very aggrevated. My mom came home towards 3 o clock am from drinking and we were in the kitchen (quite a bit away from the bedroom where her friend was sleeping) and when I went to the washing maschine to get my pillow out and put it in the drier the pillow was still soaking wet, because our washing maschine apparently didn’t work right. So I put it in another half hour (on spin) so that the water would come out of the pillow the drying it wouldn’t take so long afterwards. When I checked again it was still soaking wet and I was so aggrevated and disappointed and tired that I started yelling. It couldn’t have been that loudfor that friend though, since she was all the way in the back room with the door closed and we have relatively thick walls. Anyway, after that she came out and started complaining to my mom, saying things like “your daughter is so incosiderate and selfish. She will never amount to anything in life. She will have such a hard time in life when she is alone. She is such a child and such a selfish spoiled brat. She kept waking me up and I can’t sleep because of that inconsiderate brat!). This made me extremely frustrated, since I was being as considerate as possible and felt just horrible and was sick and extremely tired. She couldn’t sleep so well for one night, well I can never sleep EVER. Because my allergies are THAT BAD. I tried to explain myself but she wouldn’t listen und just kept yelling and calling me a liar. my mom was eventually on her side and they both called my a selfish spoiled incosiderate 5 year old. Since They didn’t want to listen to my explanation anyway, I just went to my room and locked the door. I also just took my wet pillow and slept with that, because I was so exhausted. The next morning I went outside and my mother said I should apologize to her friend. But I didn’t think that was right, since I was being as considerate as possible, even though I was the one feeling terrible and not being able to sleep. Since they wouldn’t even listen to me and I felt so wronged and they were yelling at me I sayed that I wouldn’t apologize and called her friend a bitch. I went back to my room. An hour laterI came out to try to explain the situation again, but again they wouldn’t listen. Her friend just started yelling at me and not listening at all. I had no chance to say a thing. So I yelled back while trying to explain and endeed up insulting her as a “bitch”, whereas she was insulting me as “a spoiled little child brat that won’t amount to anything that will always be by herself and has no friends”. She came extremely close to me and she is like ten times bigger than me and yelled in my face, super close. To get her to back away I kind of hit the air in front of her, so that she would move back and my nails scratched her while doing so (because they are pretty long), so she tackled me and pushed me against the wall so that I couldn’t move. And held me there while boxing me. All the while my mother was telling her to hit me because I deserved it. So I went back to my room and locked the door. I called the police because I wanted her to leave and didn’t feel safe in my own home anymore. And I can’t go anywhere else ( I have no money and can only sleep on my own bed, because of my allergies). Her friend can easily stay somewhere else or in a hotel, since she has a lot of money. When they came we all explained but they weren’t on my side at all and said if I don’t want to see her, that I should just leave and sleep on the street. And they called me childish. That friend was saying I was a liar and that she didn’t attack me at all and my mom aggreed. Even though obviously she did? But nobody wanted to believe me and I was treated like a stupid 5 year old brat. Now I am confused. Am I really that wrong? Am I imagining things? Do I have mental problems or something? Can someone please tell me if I really am in the wrong here? Becaue I don’t understand at all. I’m doubting mysef. 

glacyon: I saw Garrus on my feed and screamed - please, DO post more ME content!

I love Garrus with my entire heart :’D I have literally played ME2 twice because I had a male shep the first time and you can’t romance Garrus as male shep so I made a female shep and played it again only to be too shy/awkward (even in game form) to pick the actual option that led to romancing Garrus ;w;

Originally posted by aesfocus

sixamsims: Bring it on. I love me some Mass Effect 👌❤️👌

sixamsims: Garrus is mentioned in Andromeda…..I won’t say by who, but he is mentioned.

<3_<3 I would have thought you’d like it, I get such star trek vibes when I enter/exit the ship and the VI does the thing. xD I’m intrigued my andromeda because it got so much flak but I will miss Garrus ;-;

nervous—subject: Yes!!! 😊

gellysims: Lol, i’m def enjoying seeing ur ME pics, gives me nostalgia from when I played it (and is making me want to play through it again!!!)

Doo eett :D I’m having lots of fun! I had to download the faster elevator mod though because boy howdy most of the game is elevators xD

penig: I doubt it was because of the Mass Effect posts. You know how bots tend to come in waves? They unfollow in waves, too.

I only noticed because my follower count ended in 404 earlier and i was like heh and then I came back later and it was down by 3 xD Followers is just a number to me, I value the interaction I have between people more than that number. :)

4

Nico was in border patrol, but it was just so he could  be surprised.

Can you believe this could be the first time Nico can celebrate his birthday with people that like him since his mother died? :))

Lucid Dreaming Masterpost

Originally posted by reckoner0

What is Lucid Dreaming?

Lucid dreaming is when you are in a dream but fully aware that you are in a dream, leading to you often being able to control the outcomes or certain aspects of the dream. You are able to live your fantasies and also are more likely to remember your dreams come morning.

With work Lucid dreaming can be improved into astral projection via sleep or dream walking where you can exit your dreams to enter the dreams of others or walk about the “dream plane”. Skilled lucid dreamers also often use their dreams for divination and problem solving due to how vivid they are and how it is easier to remember them.

Herbs for Lucid Dreaming: African Dream Bean, Blue Lotus, *Datura, *Mexican Dream Herb, Lavender, Mugwort, Rose Buds, Valerian Root, Wild Asparagus

Crystals for Lucid Dreaming: Albite, Angel Phantom Quartz, Danburite, Herkimer Diamond, Lazulite, Moonstone, Rhodonite, Scolecite

Foods for Lucid Dreaming: Almonds, Bananas, Cherries, Chicken, Kidney Beans, Lamb, Oats/Oatmeal, Pumpkin/Pumpkin Seeds, Rice, Soybeans and Tofu, Sunflower Seeds, Tomatoes, Turkey

Essential Oils for Lucid Dreaming: Lavender, Mugwort, Patchouli, Rose

Other things to achieve Lucid Dreaming:

  • Keep a dream journal and write in it regularly.
  • Interpret the meanings behind your dreams after recording them
  • Avoid caffeine, alcohol, and smoking cigarettes before bed
  • Keep a regular sleeping schedule
  • Sleep in complete darkness if possible
  • Meditate before going to sleep
  • Openly state before you go to bed “I will lucid dream tonight” and repeat this either out-loud or in your mind as you get ready for bed. When you lay in bed continue focused on that in your mind
  • Along with that before bed tell yourself, preferably in a mirror if it helps, that you will remember your dreams come morning
  • Do “reality checks” meaning in your dream check to see if you are dreaming. If you see mirrors, see if you can see the background behind you or if it is misty/blurry. If see a clock look at it, look away, then look back, often in dreams the time will change. This is the same for signs and street signs. You can also before going to bed mark up your hand with ink and in your dream look down and see if it is there still. If its not you know you’re dreaming. Look down at your feet, often in dreams they will seem oddly unfocused. If you see a bookshelf, see if any of the book titles are visible or repeat.

Okay, I know I am dreaming, now what do I do?

Well now you practice. It is rare to immediately be able to control your dreams completely. To gain full control you need to practice. Start small and take baby steps. Try hopping in place in your dream, see if you can make yourself hover for even just a second. Keep at it, try to float in place longer and longer with each jump. In time and with practice and patience you will be able to soar through your dreams one night and it’s easy from there. If you come across a locked door try opening it while saying out loud “this door is unlocked”. Keep at it, because hopefully you will be able to open it soon enough.

Start talking to the ‘characters’ in your dreams. Try to influence their behavior such as suggesting they do something. You can also approach a ‘stranger’ in your dream and see what happens if you state that you two are friends. If they start acting as if they know you and are indeed your friend, you know you have improved your control.

Take notes in your dream journal on these tests. Write down if they failed or succeeded and keep at it. With time you will be able to change things in your dreams with ease.

The Positives of Lucid Dreaming:

  • You can control your dreams! That is just awesome, you can live out things you can’t do in real life.
  • Prevent or stop nightmares, when you are lucid dreaming you can just tell whatever is causing you the nightmare to ‘fuck off’ and usually they will. Nightmares can be quickly changed into enjoyable dreams
  • From my personal experience and experiences of others, after a lucid dream you feel more awake and alive come morning, it’s almost energizing to wake up from
  • Its calming, I can relieve my stresses from the day and not worry about them in my dreams
  • You can attempt to solve your real life struggles in your dreams or making plans
  • Eventually you can work your way to Astral Travel and Dream Walking
  • Using your dreams for divination
  • Improve sleep, many people who lucid dream fall asleep faster and deeper than most people leading to them having improved sleep patterns and habits
  • For artists and story writers, dreams can really inspire you and help you test out your ideas
  • Deity communication, for those who do worship deities you can communicate or even interact with them in your dreams if you welcome them in.
  • Spirit and entity communication, just like deities lucid dreamers can interact with entities in their dreams by letting them in. Many lucid dreamers interact with their guides and guardians through dreams as well

Happy Dreaming everyone~

Oh noes! Carswell, the bank guy, was stealing money all along!

As bank guys in Scooby-Doo are wont to do.

He “snuck” it out of the building in his briefcase every day, while exiting the bank…

…and entering some kind of tropical version of Metropolis concept art, possibly soaked in fruit punch.

But then, we learn that:

Unknown to Carswell, the guard installed a concealed infrared camera which took a picture of him robbing the bank!”

…because there’s no way he would ever see a camera so well concealed, especially one that uses infrared technology in a perfectly-well-lit room.

I guess it doesn’t matter anyway, because the camera is magic and takes photos from an angle he never was at, and with briefcase set on a surface that doesn’t exist in front of the camera, while he just sort of revels in his money in a position that makes no sense.

…though this does raise the question of why no other Scooby-Doo companies just used security cameras.

#realmysteriesofScoobyDoo

the year of letting go, of understanding loss. grace. of the word ‘no’ and also being able to say ‘you are not kind.’ the year of humanity/humility. when the whole world couldn’t get out of bed. everyone I’ve met this year, says the same thing ‘you are so easy to be around, how do you do that?’. the year I broke open and dug out all the rot with own hands. the year I learnt small talk. and how to smile at strangers. the year I understood that I am my best when I reach out and ask ‘do you want to be my friend?’. the year of sugar, everywhere. softness. sweetness. honey honey. the year of being alone, and learning how much I like it. the year of hugging people I don’t know, because I want to know them. the year I made peace and love, right here.
—  Warsan Shire | on: exiting 2016 and entering 2017

anonymous asked:

Jumin + MC who happens to share the same name as his pet (not necessarily be Elizabeth)? Other RFA members may join in for reactions.

Hello~!! I’m not sure if this is quite what you were asking for, but I went for the humorous side of things :3

– R.I.


CHATROOM – DAY 01

Yoosung: Ehh? Are you sure she’s trustworthy?

Seven: Yes yes, I’m already doing a background check on her and so far she seems wait what the- PFFT GYAHAHAHAHA

Seven: be back later omg lolololol what is this…?

Yoosung: what is what?!? Is there a funny photo of her or something? I want to see, I want to see!

Zen: OI!

Zen: Don’t invade her privacy like that! Anyways, what’s your name, mi’lady? I’m sure you have a wonderful name! Must be just as beautiful as yo-

You: Elizabeth the 3rd

Jumin: Oh, how did you know my cat’s name?

MC: What? No… that’s my name…

Yoosung: …

Zen:

Jumin: …

Jumin: I see. What a wonderful name.

Yoosung: OMG!! So THAT’S what Seven’s laughing about!!

Zen: God. I hope he’s not dead from laughing

Seven: still here let me st o ppp laughinasdfkljsdfj

Yoosung: Seven’s laughing so hard he’s having trouble typing!!

You: …

Zen: Oh! No, we’re not making fun of you, I swear! It’s just… your name is really uhm, unique.

Jumin: ?

Jumin: Why would we ever make fun of her for such an elegant name?

Zen: You, shut up.

BEHIND THE SCREENS:

Yoosung

  • I’m so shocked!!
  • Her name is the same as Jumin’s cat??
  • Such a coincidence…
  • Should I laugh? But no, I don’t want to be mean, I just met her…
  • But… pfft… oh no, I can’t stop laughing
  • -silently prays to God to forgive him for being a bad kid-

Zen

  • THIS IS AWFUL.
  • This wonderful lady shares the same name as that Trust Fund Kid’s cat?!?
  • This must be a joke or something
  • -exits the chatroom-
  • -re-enters the chatroom-
  • WHY IS IT STILL THERE?!
  • I-I mean… she has a wonderful name but… Trust Fund Kid’s cat…
  • GRRR. It’s all the Trust Fund Kid’s fault for his stupid naming sense!!

Jumin

  • She shares a name with the most beautiful lady in the world…
  • I wonder if she looks like Elizabeth the 3rd?
  • Hm. I must meet her at once.
  • Would she like to eat lobster…? It’s seafood, after all. Then again, it’s not fish…
  • Wait no, this is a human. Right.

Seven

  • -still dying of laughter-
  • Error 707: Reaction Unavailable
  • The Defender of Justice is currently laughing too hard. Please try again later.
BTS Reaction: You Accidentally Go Public

A/N: This was also requested! We love when we get requests! We’ve been getting requests to do other groups and we are taking a bit longer to do those because, well we don’t listen to some of them, but we are open to listening to other groups. If you have any suggestions to who we should listen to please tell us! Also, we have made this a Monsta x and BTS blog so please request some Monsta X imagines and reactions if you’d like! I’m sorry if there is any mistakes, it’s currently 1:26am. Anyways, hope you enjoy!! ~Emily

leave a request masterlist

The “how he reacts to you winning your first award” inspired me to request this. Bts reacting to your relationship going public (on the internet) through accident.

Jin:

Jin had been sitting on his bunk relaxing and scrolling through his phone when a certain tweet caught his eye. “JIN AND HIS GIRLFRIEND ARE SO CUTE OMG” Jin clicked the picture as quickly as possible. The picture was a Jungkook and Tae, and behind them was you and Jin on the couch, cuddling. Your face wasn’t visible, but Jin’s was. His hand wrapped around you and him kissing your forehead. Jin jumped out of his bunk to find the two careless idiots. You and Jin had decided to keep your relationship in the down low because the both of you wanted to be comfortable enough to go out and about when the time came. Jin found Jungkook and Tae in the living room playing video games. “WHICH ONE OF YOU IDIOTS POSTED THIS PHOTO?” Jungkook and Tae looked at each other confused as to why he was mad. They took a closer look at the picture and their eyes widened. Jin got closer to them and whispered. “Run”.

Yoongi:

You had been over at Yoongi’s when the both of you found out that your relationship had gone public. You had only been dating for roughly three months and you were not planning on showcasing your relationship around quite yet. Apparently one of the boys had accidentally told a fan that Yoongi had been over at your place and revealed that you were his girlfriend. You jumped out of your bed to find the culprit. You found him on his bed, sleeping. You shook him until he woke, and when he did you began hitting him with his own pillow. “wow wow wow what did I do” said Taehyung. You looked over at Yoongi who was standing in the doorway, scanning his face for any sign to stop, but there wasn’t none. So you continued hitting Tae with his pillow.

Namjoon:

Namjoon had been in the middle of a vlive when it happened. You were in the bathroom getting ready to go to sleep, you had thought Namjoon was speaking on the phone when you walked out. “Babe, have you seen my glasses?” You said as you walked out of the bathroom. “No I haven’t,” said Namjoon without hesitation. Immediately after he said that he looked at the screen realizing what had just happened and tried to play it cool.

Hoseok:

Hoseok never meant for it to happen. The fans were very attentive and caught a picture of you and him as his lock screen. Hoseok and Yoongi were filming a livestream and didn’t even notice Hoseoks phone light up with your picture. The next day Hoseok woke up to millions of text messages and missed phone calls from you. He exited his room and entered the living room, he sat on the couch scrolling through your messages. Jimin came in to find Hoseok in the couch. “Congrats” said Jimin as he stroked Hoseoks hair. “Idiot” whispered Hoseok to Jimin.

Jimin:

He didn’t know that you’re relationship had gone public. Pictures of you and Jimin at the studio had leaked. The both of you were linked arm in arm and your head was resting on his shoulder. The pictures popped up on the monitor in front of him. Jimin’s face instantly lit up when he saw the pictures. He didn’t know he was doing it, but he had just confirmed your relationship.

Taehyung:

Tae didn’t mean it to happen. He was just talking to some fans when he let it it slip out. He had been sitting at a coffee shop when some fans came to him. He greeted them with a smile and gave them the best fan service. The fans began to question how he found the coffee shop. He immediately blurred out that his girlfriend and him came here often. He smiled like an idiot, but soon realize what he had just done.

Jungkook:

Jungkook found out that your relationship was out in the open while doing his hair. The hairstylist began talking about how the both of you were so cute together and how everyone knew you would end up dating. Jungkook was curious as to who let the cat out of the bag. The moment he found Jin had let the news spread, he began plotting his revenge.

Signs your TC may like you

“He likes me, he likes me not…”

Before you read this I just want to let you guys know that this is purely for curious and for entertaining reasons; only for the purpose of helping some tcers. So regardless you should NEVER pursue a romantic relationship with your TC while you’re still in school.

Body Language
- He leans towards you whenever you are sitting close to one another
- He rarely turns his back on you
- Has his feet pointed and angled towards you
- Fixes/grooms himself when he sees you (dress to impress)
- Finds an excuse to touch you (e.g. - hugs, high fives, playful punches on the shoulder, etc.)
- He may mimic or imitate your actions
- Prefers to be near you/comes around you a lot
- Acts different towards you (nicer/playful/generous, really depends on personality)
- Will do things to try and make you laugh and stay positive
- He will offer you support
- He would want to be there during important events you may be having
- Smiles a lot and looks at you keenly
- Will try to catch your eye
- May hover around your desk or walk by it a couple times more often than others
- May blush when you’re around, especially the ears
- He may give you small gifts

Eye Contact
- Maintains eye contact during class or when talking to you
- May look away quickly when you catch him staring at you
- His eyes would flicker towards you when he’s made a joke in class
- His pupils may dilate when he talks to you or sees you
- He may look at you when you exit/enter a room filled with people

Verbal
- He might tease you a lot (may be a sign especially if he doesn’t tease other girls)
- He initiates conversation
- He compliments you on your appearance
- He congratulates you especially when you haven’t achieved anything that big
- Keeps a connection with you on social media (e.g. - commenting/liking posts, messaging you, etc.)
- Asks how you are or how your day was especially when he doesn’t do that often
- Is concerned about you
- He doesn’t want anyone to offend you or insult you in his presence, he would defend you at any cost
- He is less likely to allow you return back something you have borrowed before
- He may have a nickname for you
- He says or behaves like he misses you or have been gone for a while/when you’re about to leave
- He will comfort and help you
- He would want to know more about you
- He will offer you unecessary help to impress or keep you happy
- May try to impress you by humble bragging
- Lowers his voice when he talks to you
- May call on you during class a lot even without you raising your hand
- Shows interest in the things you do
- He may commend you to the class
- May write comments on your test papers

Nervousness
- He may nervously laugh when you’re around
- Would get sweaty palms/subtly sweat in general when you’re near
- Fidgets when you’re around
- He may take deep breaths
- Rubs the back of his neck
- Becomes quiet around you when he’s mostly talkative to other people
- Has the ‘deer in the headlights look’ when he sees you

Around People
- He may try to make you jealous by flirting with other girls and may look at you while doing so
- May seem jealous when you are with other guys
- His friends may joke/ tease him or smile/smirk when they see you
- May be nice to your friends

This is just the gist of it, a few signs may not be applicable to some TC’s depending on their personality. Though this mostly addresses the male TC’s, some signs may also be applicable to female TC’s.
I hope this helps!! However this does not mean I’m promoting a teacher/student relationship, and by all means I ask of you to not pursue one while you’re still in school!!

directions

you have sixty minutes to complete this test. not a minute more, not a minute less. follow the damn rules, for once.
answer every question to the best of your ability. if the question is too difficult or even unanswerable, raise your hand and someone will come.
(will someone really help? you can never know.)
if you need a drink of water, exit the room and enter the first door on your left. try not to drown, the water fountain leaks.

question 1

which of the following is not like the others?

a) i peer out of the window of my car, road rules be damned. we’re hitting seventy, maybe eighty, and it almost feels like the wind is trying to blow me out of the car and away, away, away. maybe i want it to.

b) the grass feels warm and supple beneath my bare legs, and i pluck out a dandelion. the earth sighs, but i do not hear. as i draw breath, the wind does my job for me, and the wisps have floated away. i never got to make a wish.

c) i’m at the very top of the rollercoaster, and i’m staring down at the fall before me. the wind tips us over, and i’m light as a feather and i’m falling, and i’m not falling anymore, i’m flying, and my wings skim the top of the lake and i fall again.

d) i’m looking at you again, and the wind seems to have found a home in your eyes. a light wind could blow me away, and maybe it does; maybe i’m as fragile as a blank sheet of paper in the wind and just as empty, maybe the sound of the wind against my fingertips is home.

e) the wind is my home, the wind is where i am safe, the wind is all i can hear and my world is disappearing with the wind and my heart is shattering and the pieces are floating away in the wind and there’s something thumping against my chest and it’s the wind; the wind is all i know.

question 2

order the following events in chronological order:

- there is nothing here to find.
- not all wars are cold.
- i can see empires beyond the horizon line.
- life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
- the only part of me not buried in ash is you.
- the guillotine falls again and again and again.
- there is smoke in the air and smoke inside me.
- i sign myself away with a stroke of a quill.
- our monuments have all crumbled.
- we notch our arrows and let fly our bullets.
- rise up, rise up, rise up.
- how did this happen?

question 3

identify which of the following statements are true and which are false:

i. when i bite the my lips i taste blood
ii. when i bite yours i taste ichor
iii. did you fall from the sky to meet me?
iv. or did i rise from the earth to find you?
v. yes, i can see it now, i can see it all
vi. maybe that’s why everything you touch turns to gold
vii. and everything i touch shatters

question 4

is there a right answer for anything? or is it just the stars whispering nonsense in your ears, trying to watch you explode like they themselves did so many billions of years ago? is it just the rain hitting the paper? or is it the ink from your standardized 0.7 pilot gel pen spilling out in quicksilver rivulets all around you?

(use mla citations, and use the space below - all 93 billion light-years of space provided must be utilized.)

you have completed the test. congratulations.

this was the easy part. step outside the door to your right, and face the world again. that’s the hard part.

- the final // s.g

“My dearest friend, in whom I trust without hesitation, without doubt─

Come what may, I know you will strive on.

You will strive, and in the end you will triumph, on this journey and the next, and the next, and the next.

And when you have fought the good fight, only to find, yet again, that it is not enough─

I will be there.

This I promise. This I swear.

Beyond darkest night waits a new dawn. I pray you greet her with a smile.

Your friend,

Haurchefant Greystone”


-Letter to the Warrior of Light, Thoughts Unspoken, Tales from the Dragonsong War, 2016

What I’m talking about when I’m talking about Soft Bucky

If Steve’s Mister Leadership, then Bucky’s Mister Nurturing.  He grew up the eldest kid in a busy family and there’s no way he doesn’t know a thing or two about infant care.  Soft Bucky who had always harboured some little aspiration of going to college, but gladly took a job out of school instead because his family was stretched thin enough as it was.  Soft Bucky who dreamed of one day spending the summer in a cabin in the mountains with Steve, where Steve could practice his sketches and Bucky could finally write that novel he knew he had in him; the clean air would do them both good, he reasoned, and you could see so many more stars without the city lights to get in the way.  Soft Bucky who wanted to show all the wonders of the universe to Steve.  Soft Bucky who always had Steve’s back in a fight, and was there to ice down his bruises and bandage his scrapes.  Soft Bucky who was never afraid to give Steve a damn good talking to when he was too stubborn to slow down and put his own needs first.  Soft Bucky who’s always longed for a little family of his own, but never really let himself dream of it because fellas like him didn’t get to dream of nice things like that when he was coming of age and realising that the only person he ever wanted to make a little life with was his best friend Steve.

Soft Bucky who was proud to be posted with the 107th when he was drafted, and was the damn best at what he did because he wasn’t about to let his men down, not because he revels in battle, but because he is loyal and kind.  Soft Bucky who’s first question when Steve burst in to save him (because of course, if anyone was going to be there exactly when he needed someone, it was going to be Steve), suddenly so strong and tall, was not how it happened or what amazing things he could now do, but whether it hurt.  Soft Bucky, who quietly deferred when he saw that he was not the only one who looked at Steve and saw that he was made of the most beautiful stardust in all the universe, whose love would become a ghost story, a tale told in a whisper, an almost, and a can’t-be, because that was all a fella like him could hope for in those days, but Steve was happy, and he would be grateful for that.

Soft Bucky who fought and fought and raged before he would let himself become submerged, until there was nothing and no-one left to live for, who watched some blank and ersatz version of a person using his body, over and over, for things he could never unsee, clawing at the walls of his mind, until Steve and his stupid stubborn fists punched through with a few little words and set him free, and in his shame and confusion, for fear of the hurt he had done, he ran.

Soft Bucky who spent two years keeping his head down, drifting from country to country while he pieced together his history, following a labyrinthine treasure map until he found himself.  Soft Bucky who could have spent those two years, and all the intelligence he had in him, hunting down all the people who had hurt him and picking them off just as easily as he could shoot a row of cans off of fence posts with a sniper rifle, but who chose not to take revenge.  Soft Bucky, whose revenge is just to live, and be kind.

I’m talking about Soft Bucky who at first was afraid to tell Steve how much he remembered to protect him, who was so torn between regret that he had caused Steve so much trouble, and gratitude that, at long last, he is back where he belongs.

Soft Bucky who’s going to be in therapy for years, who still wakes up in a cold sweat, haunted; soft Bucky who bristles at the idea of taking orders, of being controlled, who mentally maps out all the potential exits every time he enters a room for the first time, but slowly lets himself feel safe.  Soft Bucky who has friends he loves who love him too.  Soft Bucky who finds purpose in using his hands to create rather than to destroy: kneading flour and water together into soft dough to bake bread, feeling the comforting scrape of pen against paper as he scribbles down old memories and new stories in his many notebooks - and later, using wood reclaimed from old barns to build beautiful nursery furniture as they await the arrival of the new member of their family.

Soft Bucky who still upbraids Steve in no uncertain terms if he catches him going out without a scarf in winter, who loves his family and friends more than words can say, who likes going to the farmer’s market on Saturdays and brunch on Sundays.

Soft Bucky who lives with gratitude and love, who finally gets to live the things he never let himself dream of, because somehow, he and Steve woke into a world where fellas like him can, so they do.

That’s what I’m talking about.

Spell to Release Emotional Blockage

Forward: My Mother was physically abused by her first husband. She had PTSD and carried her emotional baggage like a nuclear bomb. She carried it day in and day out, waiting for when it would explode. This is what PTSD will do to a person. It will cause you to detonate in public, at your loved ones, at a stranger, or even a flickering light bulb without warning. She carries it to this day.


This is not a spell to get rid of PTSD. My mother did not want to get rid of it. It had become deeply rooted inside of her, it made her the strong person she is today. She’s learned important life lessons from her experience. Taking it away would turn her into a stranger who is nothing like my wild, fierce mother. She didn’t want her past to change, she just wanted to let go.


Tools:

  • Geode
  • Black salt
  • Chalk
  • Hammer (Cleansed)
  • Basic circle casting materials

Instructions

  1. Make Shadow Stone- The first step is to make the Geode into a shadow stone. This involves focusing on the stone and imaging your trauma being manifested inside it. The outer geode will symbolize the blockage. Imagine the outer shell of the geode not allowing the trauma to pass. Do not actually put your trauma inside, just create a projection or shadow of the pain. Do this on the New Moon. Continue to do this every night for an entire Lunar Month if you want the spell to be strong. (If you don’t have the time, one session will due.)
  2. The Ritual- When the Lunar month has past and a New Moon has come, it is time to perform the Spell. Cast your basic circle, however that may be. Call Elements and whatever Deities or Spirits you want to aid you in your release. Make sure the circle is large. We are going to fit another inside of it. 
  3. One-Way circle- A One-Way circle is a circle made of Black salt. Black salt is very good at containing strong negative energies while allowing persons/covens to send good energies in. We will use this circle to contain whatever negative energies may come pouring out. If the trauma has been pushed down for a long time, removing the blockage will be like releasing a flood gate. This will protect anyone or any tools that are nearby. Create the One-Way circle especially if you are performing the spell with another person or coven. 
  4. Creating One-Way circle- Use chalk to draw pentagram on floor (the pentagram is used to keep the person protected in the circle. It is not necessary if you cannot do it.) Make pentagram big enough for a person to comfortably sit in. Next, sit in pentagram with shadow stone and hammer. Trace pentagram circle with black salt. Say something along these lines (I believe a spell is more powerful if they are your own words): “Here lies the One-Way Circle. No negative energy shall exit. Only positive energy shall enter. The circle is sealed.”
  5.  Release- Focus on the shadow stone and project your trauma inside it. Say words along the lines of “I will move on from my past. I will not let myself be controlled by these negative emotions any longer. I will remove whatever blocks me from moving on when the stone breaks. I release you. I release you. I release you.” Break the Stone.
  6. Break down- Break down circle and cleanse space. 
  7. Cleanse- Bury shattered geode for a full lunar month to cleanse. Dig up and display on altar as reminder of your inner strength.

I love this spell because it allows you to move on without removing what will make you strong. We sometimes keep ourselves from moving on from our past. We keep ourselves living the pain over and over. You may believe you deserve the pain or know no other way to live and cling to it out of fear of letting yourself be happy. 

Let Go. Be Happy. Be Strong.