exhibitionistatheart  asked:

I ended up with a following and it's exhausting. Getting a little snarky is human. Most of the time I check myself, but lately it's really hard. I never blocked anyone, till I someone told me I was basically an object and if I didn't meet the expectation they had come to believe about me, I was the problem. Wrong. It's not our responsibility to be anything other than ourselves. And if someone chooses to take it and attach their bias, that's on them. Get on with your bad self. Meow. 🐱❤️

Getting a little snarky is human. Most of the time I check myself, but lately it’s really hard.

I don’t want to presume to know your leanings, but for those of us on the Left, and for a lot of the women I know, we all feel raw right now. Every fucking day brings some new fresh hell, as we are forced day after day after day to watch the very worst of humanity (with a fucking abuser at the top of the whole thing) attack and destroy the things we love and care deeply for. That takes a toll (and I say this knowing that I am in a position of incredible privilege, so I can only imagine how a vulnerable human must be feeling right now.)

I was basically an object and if I didn’t meet the expectation they had come to believe about me, I was the problem.

I’m not saying that this is happening to me right now, but it does happen. It happens to all of us who are in someone’s life in a way that’s intimate for the audience, but doesn’t involve reciprocal intimacy for the artist: we stop being people, and we start being things. 

Most of the time, it comes from a place of genuine goodness, (Like if I ever met Dita von Teese, I know that I’d faint, because OBVIOUSLY, but I don’t harbor any illusion that I would be special or memorable to her, because we don’t have that kind of two-way relationship) but it can cross a line and become a kind of ownership, which is harmful and not okay.

I do my best to be patient and understanding when someone gets excited at me the way I got excited at Neil deGrasse Tyson, or Billie Piper, or Edward James Olmos, or President Obama (I’m thrilled to be that person to someone else, to be honest). But when someone demands that I jump through a specific set of hoops because of reasons, I tend to knock the hoops over and set them on fire.

…and to think this all went up like a tire fire today because I made a joke about cats.


So I saw a blog post today that got me a little upset and felt compelled to post a PSA.

Take the time to THANK the ladies and their partners for taking the time to share with us, their beautiful bodies, their adventures, their thoughts…for allowing us to look into their lives. I’m sure many will attest, they are here to have fun, to tease, to release!! If they want to have sex with you…I’m pretty sure they will message you and tell you. They are not whores, pimps or hookers, unless they tell you that’s how they want to be treated in private lol😏.

We are all here to have some fun, release and enjoy the sexual release and freedom provided. But don’t think because she posts her tits, or rubbing herself or reblogs a sexual adventure that you “got next.” This isn’t an amusement park! (Ok well it’s kind of like an amusement park but you know what I mean) Everyone of them deserves to be treated with respect. Trust me respect, admiration, and compliments can get you further than - “my cocks so hard for you” “can i fuck you”

In a world of full of Kanye’s…be Frank Sinatra for crying out loud. And if your too young to know who Frank is…be Tom fuckin’ Hardy!

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