Having such eradic emotions is exhausting.
Controlling yourself as to not let your mental health problems impact others is exhausting.
Not being able to figuratively step back and not worry about how people around you see you because you need constant validation is exhausting.
Constantly having extreme emotional reactions that conflict with your own morals and logic is exhausting.
Not even coming close to being able to clear your mind of rapid thought and paranoia is exhausting (which is kind of ironic as this makes sleep and relaxation extremely hard to get to)
Trying so hard every time you’re at an emotional low to actually remember what anything else feels like because you lack emotional permanence is exhausting.
Constantly having to be alert to your emotions because you need to be able figure out if your pain is a reasonable response to someone hurting you or if you’re overreacting yet again is exhausting.
Fighting the urge to dissociate in a situation where you need to be alert and aware is exhausting.
Making seemingly simple decisions and undergoing any kind of social interaction for people who desperately need to keep everyone happy and make themselves likeable is exhausting.
Internally freaking out almost all the time that people are judging you for being lazy, annoying, immature, a shitty friend, etc. Is. Exhausting.
To summarise, BPD, as with many other PDs and mental illnesses, is exhausting, more than most can even imagine.
People that don’t understand mental illness and assume that you can just “go get a coffee and get up” or “stop being so tired and get over it, I’ve been up since early o'clock” really bug me. Don’t tell me to just get up. You get up. I’m fucking exhausted. Mentally and physically exhausted. It is not that easy.