exhausted emotional and not over this

Tips on Writing Characters Without Faces

so yeah, we all know that facial expressions can tell us a lot about how a character is feeling, but what if that isn’t an option? how can you make someone emote if they don’t really have standard facial features? the answer; body language.

let’s consider how emotions are conveyed on a stage production vs movie with Sweeney Todd. First, the stage play:

Note how Todd’s entire upper body goes into his gestures, how he’s single-mindedly focused on his dreams and ideals; how his hands GRAB for each imaginary ‘man’ with these sharp, aggressive, destructive movements and how that contrasts with Mrs. Lovett’s body language; how her hands linger in the air and gravitate towards Todd even after he’s pulled away, and the slow turn she gives him. It does an excellent, though exaggerated, way of conveying their relationship (her focus is on him and making him happy, his focus is entirely on revenge)

Contrast this to the movie:

Originally posted by curiousitykilledthekat

Same lines in the song, much more subtle. Lovett’s eyes still track towards Todds, which reminds us she’s still more focused on the outside, but all of the emotion is in their faces. Were this not a close-up shot in a movie it’d be very, very hard to read their expressions.

While I do recommend you watch a few stage plays (in person near the back row if you can) to actually study body language for yourself or try out charades with your face covered with friends/watch how cosplayers or mascots emote, here’s a few shorthands to get you started (US-centric so expressions may vary on your region):

Head:

  • perfectly still - fear, intense attention, feeling under scrutiny
  • tilted up - recollection, intimidation (looking down nose at threat, aiming to appear taller)
  • tilted down - intense thought, shame (avoiding eye contact), depression/sad feelings
  • turned away - not giving person full attention, avoiding subject/conflict without being combative
  • cocker-spaniel (sideways) tilt - confusion, curiosity, amusement

Hands

  • at the forehead - fatigue (wiping away sweat), illness (checking self for fever, feeling a headache), realization/memory (a ‘well duh’ tap)
  • at the eyes - fatigue or headache (shielding eyes from light), distress (blocking out a painful view, concealing tears)
  • at the nose - disgust (a pinch at the nostrils,) irritation (rubbing at sore spot on nose from glasses wear)
  • at the mouth - nausea, surprise, repressing an emotion/stopping self from saying something
  • at the chin - contemplation, tiredness (face resting in hand)
  • rubbing back of neck - a need to relax tension, embarrassment, slight unease/desire to distract self
  • at the chest - surprise, self-protection (reaction to a wounding statement, sometimes used sarcastically), strong emotions (clutching at heart, could be good-strong or bad-strong), need for security (touching necklace/adjusting clothing to conceal more)
  • at the stomach - pain (clutching, pressing), satisfaction after a meal, protectiveness towards fetus when applicable
  • at the hip(s) - confidence, intimidation, nervousness (if grabbing for weapon)
  • at groin - concealment/unease (usually male-coded as protection of genitals), politeness (hands folded in lap)
  • on thighs - exhaustion (bent over, hands on legs supporting tired upper body)
  • formed into fists - holding back an intense emotion, preparing to fight
  • toying with something - restlessness (bored, nervous energy, craving something they can’t touch) or deliberate disrespect of property (playing with personal objects someone holds dear as an intimidation tactic)

Arms

  • at sides, relaxed - default posture
  • at sides, tense - unease, restraint (soldier at attention, person holding still to avoid being attacked), fear
  • crossed at chest - disapproval, displaying authority, unease (hugging oneself)
  • crossed at stomach - pain, intense laughter (caused by sore stomach muscles from laughing)
  • up, fingers laced behind head - confidence, relaxation
  • one arm on back of furniture - confidence, invitation for someone join them
  • general rule - the further arms are away from body, the more confident/dominant a person means to appear; exposed torso indicates that they don’t see anyone around as a threat to them

Legs

  • square with shoulders - professional, restraint, protective stance
  • wide stance, one foot a little back but planted - defensive stance, expecting to receive blows (knees may be unlocked - seen in swordplay and fencing)
  • weight on one leg - relaxed, tired, may also be leaning on something or pair with one ankle tucked behind the other
  • uneven stance - could indicate old injury
  • foot tapping/bouncing - boredom, nervous energy

Whole Body:

  • stiff and still - fear, unease, standing to attention
  • limp or pliant - relaxed, tired, pleased
  • shoulders back/head up - alert, focused, aggressive
  • shoulders forward, hunched - tired, ashamed
  • leaning towards person - interest, intimidation (looming over them), aggression (usually paired with tense arms or hands in fists,)
  • leaning away from person - relaxation, confidence, disgust (recoiling)
  • smooth/fluid movements - joy, confidence, experience
  • stiff motions - fear (reactive, fight or flight), pain (reluctance to move), anger (either fighting to keep control of emotions or lashing out), cold (conservation of heat by keeping limbs near body)
  • cracking joints/stretching - preparing for a fight, often reading as confidence in abilities
  • general rule - close contact/proximity can read as intimidation (paired with tense body - an invasion of personal space) or affection (paired with relaxaed body language, gentle movement) or passion/attraction while distance can read unease/distaste/fear/dislike.

with those in mind, let’s read this scene from Red vs Blue (a personal fav of mine for body language) featuring agent texas from season 8.

Originally posted by cryingmanlytears

So first of all, very relaxed upper body; limp arms held away from the body, which slowly come back to rest on her hips as she looks at what she’s done. Watch how her lean shifts at the end as her center of gravity shifts, and how she has to move her right leg to restabilize herself when she’s finished pushing it. This reads, in order from the start of the loop; detachment (the least amount of her body is involved in the action as possible), relaxation (smooth movements, the deliberation of those little steps backwards) and confidence (hands on hips.) We can tell a ton about this character just in this gif alone, based on her body language.

in summary! this list isn’t exhaustive, but hopefully it gives you some ideas for ways of making characters emote in fics when you can’t see their faces.

I wasn’t looking of anything when I met you. If anything I was over the thought of falling for someone. I had finally gotten over someone and the thought of being flooded with emotions each day again was exhausting.

But we practically stumbled on top of one another. Our paths could have crossed, but instead they collided. And the night we met was like coming up for air after drowning in my own tears. You made me laugh, and you told me stories about your life and for that night I was just happy to be me. It was an odd feeling, to be so happy and free.

Things didn’t work out, and maybe it was for the best. This way you can always be the guy that never hurt me, the one that let me listen and laugh for a night. And I am grateful for you and the part you played in realising I deserved better than those I had met before you.

—  To the one that came out of no where, but was exactly what I needed.
I Curse You Until The Day You Die

Originally posted by vanish

*Note, This isn’t for a person who annoyed you at work or such, this is for someone who has ruined your life, for someone who has made your everyday existence into a living hell. You have to hate this person so much that you are willing to, well, curse them until the day they die*

The Spell

You will need:

  • An object of theirs or something to represent them (I had a drawing they did for me when we used to be friends)
  • A black candle
  • A cauldron or container big enough to fit the object in (It has to be heatproof and fireproof, also, take it outside if it’s bigger than your hand)
  • Your tears or something to represent your pain, like screaming.
  • A knife or pin.
  • water (As a safety measure)

Take their personal object and hold it in your hands. Now, I want you to remember everything they did to you, how much it hurt and how much you wanted to give up. Just let it all out, scream, cry, shout etc. Do whatever you need to release that emotion and just let it fill the object with every ounce of your anger, your sadness and your pain. Direct it all at them.

Now, Take your black candle and light it, you can chant this or something else:

“(Target’s Name), You will feel all that I feel,
And you will squeal,
Everytime you think of me, of my pain,
You will feel my struggle tenfold, for all your life.
You will carry this to your grave.”

Take you knife or pin or hammer and go all out on the object, fucking wreck it and let it show it’s distress.

Light the object on fire and place it in the container.

Now watch it burn, focus all that hate and anger into the flames, let them carry those emotions to the target, let the person feel everything, visualise them crying alone with no one to help them, let them be alone, they don’t deserve companionship.

Once it’s burnt, pour the water over it to make sure it’s out.


After-Care

This can be a very exhausting spell, spiritually, physically and mentally.
Take time to relax and calm down.

Take a Healing Bath by adding sea salt, rose petals and chamomile to your bath. Focus on the warmth of the water and let it absorb all your troubles.

Do something that you enjoy, whether it’s snuggling up in a blanket, listening to heavy metal or going for a jog. You do you.

Take time to cleanse the spell area too as energies can sometimes be left behind.

Just take care of yourself.

Types of empaths

Empaths

Being an empath is when you are affected by other people’s energies, and have an innate ability to intuitively feel and perceive others.  Your life is unconsciously influenced by others’ desires, wishes, thoughts, and moods. Being an empath can be draining and hard to even deal with. I know a lot of time you just want to give up and cut it all off. Which I’ve done once it isn’t good for you. So I’m doing these lessons to help you cope learn and heal with your empathic ability. I’ll try and take you step by step to figure out just what you are and how to handle the daily stresses of being an empath. This is lesson one What is an empath and how to tell if you are even one and the different kinds of empaths.

What is an empath

An Empath is someone who tends to be hypersensitive to the emotions and emotional states of others. But in saying this it does not mean an Empath will actually be empathic/empathetic toward others. It simply means they are more sensitive to the emotional undercurrents that surround them than other people. Now not all empaths connection is with humans.Some are with the earth itself and nature. Others its animals.

Types of empaths

1. Emotional Empath

The emotional empath is one of the most common types of empaths. If you are this type, you will easily pick up the emotions of others around you and feel the effects of those emotions as if they were yours. The emotional empath will deeply experience the feelings of others in their own emotional body. For example, an emotional empath can become deeply sad around another individual who is experiencing sadness.

For emotional empaths, it is important to learn to differentiate between your own emotions and those of others. In this way, you can use your ability to help others without becoming drained.

2. Physical/Medical Empath

Those with this type of empathy can pick up on the energy of other people’s bodies. They intuitively know what ails another person. Many people with this type of empathy become healers either in the conventional medical professions or in alternative ones. Physical empaths may ‘feel’ an awareness  in their physical body when treating someone. They may also ‘see’ blockages in a person’s energy field that they sense need treating.

If you are a medical empath, you may pick up on symptoms from others and feel them in your own body. Taking on the physical symptoms of others may lead to health problems. Some people with chronic illnesses such as fibromyalgia or autoimmune diseases might find it helps to strengthen their own energetic field so that they can turn this ability off when necessary. Taking some training in a form of healing can also help to hone this ability.

3. Geomantic Empath

Geomantic empathy is sometimes called place or environmental empathy. Those with this ability have a fine attunement to the physical landscape. If you find yourself uncomfortable, or really happy in certain environments or situations, for no apparent reason, you may be a geomantic empath.

If you are a geomantic empath, you will feel a deep connection to certain places. You may be drawn to sacred stones, groves, churches or other places of sacred power. You may also be sensitive to the history of a place and be able to pick up on sadness, fear or joy that have occurred in locations. Place empaths are highly attuned to the natural world and grieve for any damage to it. They watch with horror when trees are cut down or landscapes destroyed.

If you are this type of empath, you will probably need to spend time in nature to recharge. You may also find helping in an environmental project very healing for you. It is also important for you to make your everyday surroundings as harmonious and beautiful as you can. You may feel happier if you fill your house with plants and natural scents. You might also like to choose natural materials such as wood and linen for your clothing and furniture.

4. Plant Empath

If you are a plant empath, you intuitively sense what plants need. You will be green-fingered and have a true gift for placing the right plant in the right place in your garden or home. Many plant empaths choose to work in parks, gardens or wild landscapes where they can put their gifts to good use. In fact, if you have chosen an occupation that involves plants, then you are probably a plant empath. Some people with this gift actually receive guidance from trees or plants directly by hearing it within the mind.

If you are this kind of empath, you will already know that you need a lot of contact with trees and plants. You might like to strengthen this bond by sitting quietly by a special tree or plant and attuning more closely to its needs and guidance.

5. Animal Empath

Many empaths have a strong connection with animals. However, an animal empath will probably devote their lives to working for the care of our animal friends. Those with this gift will know what an animal needs and may be able to telepathically communicate with the creature.

If you are an animal empath, you probably already spend as much time with animals as you can. You may find that studying the biology or psychology of animals helps you to refine your gift. You could also consider training as an animal healer as your special talent can enable you to find out what is wrong with an animal and treat it accordingly.

6. Claircognizant/Intuitive Empath

If you are a claircognizant or intuitive empath, you will pick up information from other people simply by being around them. One glance at someone can give you all kinds of insight into that person. You will immediately know if someone is lying to you because you can sense the intentions behind their words. Those with this gift resonate to others energetic fields and read the energy of others very easily. This is closely related to the telepathic empath who can read another person’s thoughts.

7. Medium Empath

A medium empath is a medium who feels the emotions of spirits who have crossed over. This empath feels it deeply and is affected by such emotions. An ordinary medium can communicate and sometimes see spirits; the medium empath however has a very strong sense of the emotions and is drawn in by them.

If you have this ability, you need to surround yourself with people who you feel aligned with. With this gift, you may need to strengthen your energetic field so that you are not constantly bombarded with the thoughts and emotions of others.

Being an empath is not easy. You may find it confusing, disorienting and exhausting. However, understanding which of the types of empath you are can help you to use your gifts and abilities to help yourself and those around you.

Synopsis: You are cursed with the ability to feel others’ emotions through touch. During a battle you’re fighting with Loki, he touches you and it opens your eyes to who he is. 

A/N: I’ll probably add more parts to this and make it a mini-fic, just because I love this concept so much. Our poor little God of Mischief isn’t evil, just misunderstood and dealing with a lot. 

Warnings: implied smut, violence, blood

Keep reading

If you don’t have BPD read this

I’m so tired of the stigma associated with BPD. (Borderline personality disorder) it makes me angry when I see the judgment of it from people who don’t have it.


Borderlines are not all the same. This is not a one size fits all illness. Not everyone is going to have exactly the same symptoms. We are all different. So when people without it, “diagnose” and think you don’t have it because you’re not doing this symptom or that symptom is irritating. Unless you’re a doctor I don’t believe in your “diagnosis”.


Not all borderlines are monsters. Again, NOT all borderlines are monsters. Every time I hear how we are narcissistic (no sweetie that’s a separate disorder get your disorders straight), violent, manipulative, attention-seeking, abusive, dramatic, etc. the list can go on of judgments. We aren’t all monsters okay? A lot of us are actually kind, loving people. That’s part of why we have episodes. The end result is always us wanting to die. It’s never how we think you should die. We always take blame for everything. Even if a borderline doesn’t tell you that out loud it’s true.


BPD is not like bipolar disorder. Yes, it’s similar but it’s also very different. Bipolar is a chemical imbalance that you can balance out with medication. BPD is not. Bipolar mood swings are spaced apart typically by weeks or months or days borderlines have mood swings that severe within minutes. And it’s in the genetic makeup of our brain. You can only truly treat it with DBT therapy and even then it never truly goes away.


You don’t need to be admitted to a mental asylum if you have BPD. DO NOT say someone with BPD is crazy or psycho or anything like that. If the person with BPD says it about themselves that’s one thing. If you say that to a borderline you’re going to set them off. Also be aware that what a borderline says while they have a mental breakdown is not always true. When we have our episodes and are upset, we say a lot irrational things.


FINALLY, best for last. What is it like to have BPD? It feels like you’re drowning. All the time. You can’t even trust yourself because you’re constantly having this battle in your head between you and the disorder. You have literally no or very little control over your emotions. And that’s not just an opinion, a doctor will tell you that as well. It feels like you have a separate personality that is evil and bad and horrible and you have no control over it. Hence why it’s a PERSONALITY disorder. Or you feel like you have no personality and you can’t ever figure out who you want to be. So you’re constantly in a never ending search of who you are and it’s exhausting. Oh, and here’s a really important tip. Don’t slut shame a borderline. The high sex drive is literally part of the disorder and is classified as a symptom. Don’t be a judgmental prude about it. The borderline is already aware of it and feels bad enough about it.

End the stigma. Raise awareness, not the suicide rate.

Everything Has Changed (Part Two)

Summary: In which everything changes when you discover Bucky’s true feelings for you in a very unconventional manner.

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Word Count: 2,800

Part One

Originally posted by there-and-always-back-again

The sound of something steadily beeping in your ear brings you back to the surface of consciousness. You wade through the murky waters of your mind, trying to keep your cool when the simple task of opening your eyes turns into a losing battle.

Why can’t you open your eyes? Why does your body feel so heavy?

You grow more frantic as your body fails to follow through on any of the commands you direct at it. It’s not until you realize that something is restraining your arms that an overwhelming tidal wave of memories wash over your body and send you back underwater.

Keep reading

Yet another from this long list of prompts, completely unprompted.

Number Twelve: “I’m pregnant.”


The text came in at 7:17am, and in the mean time, Stiles had made his way through four and a half breakdowns, all of them for different reasons.

Number One: Male werewolves could get pregnant, and tying into that:

Number Two: Derek had never found it relevant to their two year relationship to share this fun fact. That didn’t say much as to his thoughts on their future together, which stung.

Number Three: Stiles was going to be a father at twenty-four.

Number Four: Just the night before, with Derek in Argentina visiting Cora, Stiles ate a dinner of Cheetos, plain microwaved hotdogs wrapped in bread, and four beers before passing out on the couch with the tv remote in his hand. He was not ready to be a father.

Number Five (still ongoing, more or less halfway through): They were going to have to move because no amount of corner guards or stupid little outlet plugs could childproof the loft. The door to the kitchen was literally a jagged hole in a brick wall. Stiles caught his shins on it regularly, they were always a mess of scabs and bruises.

Actually his entire body was a mess of scabs and bruises, because that was his life now, had been since sophomore year: fighting off the forces of supernatural evil.

Too bad he couldn’t childproof his life.

Oh god, they were going to have to move out of Beacon Hills. Away from the pack.

Nothing was stable in Beacon Hills, it had been eight years of panic and anxiety and near deaths and actual deaths. They couldn’t bring a baby into their current lives, Stiles wouldn’t even bring an adult into this hellhole. Who was trained in firearms. With combat experience.

Keep reading

Bloodlust (Roman Godfrey)

Prompt: You come home on day, to find a note your brother and mom left you in Destiny’s care. So you run to the one person you trusted, Roman.


————————————–

“I’m sorry your brother was in trouble and we had to leave. I know how much you loved it here, and you deserve better than a life more that a life of running. You deserve a shot at a normal life. Ive talked to Destiny and she will watch over you, ill call you when were safe. I love you baby, its better this way. -Mom”

Her note took the breath from your lungs. The house was ruined and even the cat was gone. They took that damn cat and left you here!

Your eyes began to burn as you screamed grabbing the closest thing, which happened to be a family photo and smashed it into the wall. Your body shook as you kicked, threw and broke everything you could get your hands on. They actually wanted you to stay with Destiny? She wasn’t exactly the greatest role model using her gifts for sex and money, claiming to heal people.

You ran out of the house grabbing your bike, the note snatched in your hand. You began to head to the one person you could talk to and would understand you.

————————————–

Tears burned your eyes, before you used your sweatshirt to wipe them away. You stood on the front porch nervous, your hands shook above the doorbell. You took a deep breath and hit the button.

You heard footsteps and a familiar face looked slightly down on you confused.

“Y/N what are you doing here? I thought you guys left? Where’s Peter?” His eyes looked around the area but turned back to you.

Holding out the note tears began to flow faster down your cheeks. Roman snatched the note, reading swiftly he finished and looked up into your eyes.

“What the fuck……” he whispered and grabbed your shoulders pulling you into his arms.

You sobbed into his chest as he pulled back and led you to the living room, he sat down beside you on the couch.

“Do you want some tea? Or bourbon and shit?” He said quietly.

You sniffed giving off a smirk “I dont even think shit would taste good with bourbon.”

Roman gave a light smile “Yeah me neither.” He pulled you to his chest, letting you cry until your eyes hurt.

Picking you up he carried you upstairs and into a room, he set your down on something soft which you guessed was his bed.

He took your shoes off, still in silence and set them on the floor. “I’ll figure this out just rest now Y/N.”

He stood by you grabbed his arm “Please stay……at least until i fall asleep.”

He stared down at you for a moment, then he slipped off his belt and nodded. Moving over he laid beside you. You turned putting your head on his chest, he seemed to tense up and the closeness of you. He could feel the blood pumping through your veins and his fangs scraped his tongue. He bit down on his tongue trying to suppress the urge to feed on you.

You seemed to remember moving away suddenly “Sorry i guess i forgot.”

“Your the only person who would run to an Upir, and forget what they are.” He chuckled

You shrugged turning onto your side, you hid the tears that began to start again “Well my brother is a werewolf.”

Roman seemed to sense your change in emotion, he pulled you into his chest “It’s okay, i know…”

You nodded wiping your eyes, and slowly let the emotional exhaustion take over.

_____________________________________________________________

You woke up to find Roman had left, hearing the shower running you stood up slowly. Romans clothes were on the ground as steam crept from under the bathroom door. Walking over you knocked on the door “Ro!”

“Yeah?” Came Roman’s voice muffled by the door

“I’m gonna go get food if that okay? You want anything?” You asked shifting your weight slightly from one side to the other.

“I’ll be down in a sec!” He replied 

Nodding you turned and made your way downstairs, you had been here loads of times when either you or your brother found yourselves in trouble. Usually you talked to Shelley but since her disappearance you swayed closer to Roman. Peter had began to notice and always scolded you about how much of a man-whore Roman had been. But since you two had started to hangout the less he seemed to be interested in other girls, only on days when you two were fighting did he have the occasional hook up. It bothered you at first but learning his true nature you realized for him, it was more of an impulse and how he had been raised by his mother Olivia. 

Finding some of your favorite cereal you and Shelly shared in secret, keeping it hidden behind the boxes of oatmeal and forgotten cans of soup. Olivia hated when he children ate such unhealthy processed and sugary meals. Most of the time, when she was gone was the only time the kids could eat what they wanted. 

You poured in the cereal and milk into the bowl, hopping on the counter. Taking a bite as Roman came down in his boxers, his hair still wet as light amounts of steam seemed to rise from his body leftover from the shower. 

Roman began making coffee, leaning back to examine you as you ate your breakfast. “You can stay here if you want? It pretty much empty and I know you don’t wanna stay with Destiny. Shelleys room is empty, shit over half the house is take whatever room you want.”

You nodded “Thanks Ro…..I was so wrapped up in myself, I never asked how you were. So….How are you?”

He shrugged taking  sip of his coffee walking over to you and snatching your bowl taking a bite of cereal. “I’m okay I guess, I mean your parents are kinda shitty and siblings are gone. Everyone wants me to take over Godfrey Enterprises, and I’m trying to control myself from feeding 24/7.”

“I can help if you want?” You asked 

Roman paused as you moved your head to the side, brushing away your hair to reveal your soft skin. 

Roman reached out gently brushing his hand on your neck causing shivers to run down your spine. He could feel the beating of your heart on the pads of his fingers, the way your chest rose and fell with your breathing. 

He leaned in intoxicated by your scent as he felt his fangs on his tongue again. Your heart beat faster at his proximity………………… he could hear it, but the only thing on his mind was how you would look covered in your own blood. How your scent would only light the flames of his desire and soon it would not be just your blood he craved, He would crave your body. Needing to the burning of your lips on his. He would ravish himself in your body, pleading for you to moan his name begging you to reach your climax as he thrust into you over and over again.  He closed his eyes before shaking his head “I can’t, I won’t be able to control myself if I do.”

You nodded the breath that caught in your lung seemed to slowly release “Okay.”

Roman handed you your cereal “ You can shower if you want? The waters still hot in my bathroom. It’ll need to warm up everywhere else.”

You were about to head upstairs, when you paused “I left my clothes at the house…..”

Roman nodded “Ill have someone pick them up, you can wear some of my clothes if you want. I let you borrow Olivia’s but your already beautiful plus I dont want you going around looking slutty.”

You gave a light smile trying to hide your confusion “…….Thanks.”

Going up the stairs, you cracked the door wanting to let the steam escape and make it hard to breathe when you got out. You sighed as you went into the bathroom. You had always though Olivia dressed more intimidating and classy but it seemed Roman did like that, despite the fact that Olivia was still his mother. You turned on the water and began to peel off your clothes, stepping out of your jeans you slowly slid down your panties. Unclasping your bra you tossed it to the side and let the hot water cascade down your back. 

Closing your eyes you felt your muscles begin to relax. You looked over grabbing the shampoo that smelled of pine…….it smelled like Roman. lathering your hair and rising off you used the conditioner massaging your scalp. You thought of your brother. 

It was rare for a girl in the family to have the wolf gene, but when your brother turned your life began to change. You had to leave every school you had been to if someone spotted your brother, even sooner if he began to kill more than the occasional deer. You could never have many friends, your mother didn’t want you to get close to many people in case you had to leave. It had become a routine never lasting more then a few months. You would finally have the courage to talk to someone, to try and make friends before your mother whisked you away to the next town. Peter teased you sometimes about being socially outcast but the truth was you didn’t want get attached. After a while Peter was used to it but you weren’t. 

Coming back to reality you noticed the water beginning to chill slightly. You quickly washed you body and rinsed the conditioner out of your hair.  

Stepping out of the shower you grabbed a towel looking up you jumped to see Roman at the door.

Towel still in your hands you froze as your gaze met Roman’s. His breathing hitched in his throat as he looked down clearing his throat. He turned around “Sorry you shut off the water…I just wanted to give you these.”

You looked down to his hands and saw he had a clean t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants. You wrapped the towel around your body and stepped forward. Placing your hand gently on his he passed you the clothes. 

“Thank you Roman.” You said quietly your heart pounding in your chest.

Roman slowly turned around and you could see he was biting his lip. His eyes were glued to your neck. His face turned from one of embarrassment into hunger and lust. You felt yourself freeze like a deer in headlights.

“Roman?” You whispered as his mouth began to open and you saw his sharp canines begin to draw closer to his bottom teeth as he growled.

______________________________________

Part 2??

When Duty and Desire Meet Chapter 4

Art by @edendaphne , words by moi!

Summary: After their accidental kiss on Valentine’s day, both Marinette and Chat Noir have to deal with the emotional fallout of their actions.

Read on AO3
Read on tumblr

~

Valentine’s Day Part 2

“So, let me get this straight,” Alya said, leaning back against Marinette’s desk chair and steepling her fingers. Beside her, on a little table-cushion Marinette had made, Tikki slept soundly, having already heard the story a thousand times over. “You’re in love with Chat Noir.”

“You already knew that,” Marinette groaned from her chaise, hugging a cushion to her chest and leaning back like a Freudian patient. Lord knows she was about three sentences away from a therapy-inducing hissy fit regardless, so it was probably prudent of her to be lying down in such a way. She was preparing for her inevitable breakdown that’s all. It was the smart thing to do.

And she rarely did the smart thing nowadays it seemed, so she really needed this.

“You’ve been in love with Chat as Ladybug for like a bajillion years,” Alya continued, ignoring Marinette as she continued to rehash pointless details. Details which made Marinette want to bludgeon herself to death with her cushion.

It was most likely impossible to do such a thing but she was never one to back down from a challenge. Death by cushion- she’d find a way.

“Yes. We’ve already established that,” she replied through gritted teeth, said cushion slowly creeping up to cover her face.

“But last night you kissed him by accident,” Alya said.

“Uh-huh.”

“As Marinette.”

“That is correct sir,” Marinette wiggled a finger.

“And he gave you a rose and kissed you back.”

“Tru’ dat.”

It was indicative of Marinette’s deteriorating mental state that she’d said “Tru’ dat”. She’d never said “Tru’ dat” in her whole life.

“I see,” Alya nodded a few times. The fact her tone had remained neutral the whole time was doing nothing to help Marinette’s poor nerves, and so she swung her legs over the side of her chaise, sitting up to get a better view of Alya’s twinkling eyes. A sense of dread settled in Marinette’s stomach. Alya’s eye-twinkles were never a good thing, at least when they were directed towards her.

I see?! Is that all you have to say? Seriously?! I thought you’d be freaking out right now, I mean I’m freaking out but then I ALWAYS freak out. You not freaking out is making me freak out harder! Can you please freak out with me? Join me in the freak out zone already!” Marinette blabbed, waving her arms and promptly dropping the cushion to the ground.

Alya said nothing, instead choosing to raise an eyebrow at her and cross her legs. At least she’d stopped steepling her fingers, Marinette thought gruffly.

After a short pause, Alya finally spoke, but her voice wobbled and strained unnaturally, her lips thinned in a way that was entirely too suspicious. “Firstly, stop saying freak out, secondly I’m not freaking out because this is the funniest thing I’ve ever heard.”

She barely made it to the end of her sentence before she doubled over and descended into giggles.

It was in that moment that Marinette realised Alya’s peculiar behaviour had been due to her hiding her amusement, and she felt fully justified in yanking the cushion from its position on the floor and hurling it towards her supposed ‘best friend forever.’

Unfortunately, Alya dodged the fluffy projectile with ease.

“Come on, this is serious! I’m in hot water here!” Marinette cried, crossing her arms across her chest.

“When are you not though? Let’s be real,” the redhead shot back with a wry grin, twirling in the chair and kicking backwards to check her hair in the small vanity mirror on Marinette’s desk. The sight made Marinette relax a little. Alya only checked her hair with such scrutiny when she was seriously contemplating something.

Suddenly missing the comforting embrace of the cushion, Marinette flopped down once more. As her back hit the large pillows adorning her chaise, she let out a long sigh and all the fear, the panic, the fight, left her in one fell swoop. Only tiredness and uncertainty remained.

“How am I going to face him?” she whispered. Her head tilted towards her small, round window, to the afternoon sun beaming down in a total antithesis to her feelings. She wondered where Chat Noir was at that moment.

Did she cross his mind?

Over the years Marinette had asked herself that question more times than she could count. But it was different now. Now she wondered if Chat thought of her, of Marinette, not of Ladybug. Did he dwell on it- how they’d kissed? She had. She’d thought about it all night, until exhaustion had finally overcome her and she’d woken up late, cold, wanting something she could barely comprehend.

For years, she’d thought about what it would mean to kiss Chat Noir, Dark Cupid incident aside considering she couldn’t even remember it.

A small, involuntary whimper left her when she recalled the night before. The kiss had been an accident… at first. But the second she felt Chat’s lips press into hers was burned into her memory, playing over and over again. The moment he returned her kiss had ignited something dormant inside her and she felt raw, emotions exposed and unlocked, with nowhere to hide.

She considered her question again. How on earth could she face him as Ladybug, knowing what she did, knowing him the way he didn’t know he knew her (and god wasn’t that sentence confusing in and of itself)?

For God’s sake Marinette, it was a peck of a kiss at the most, pull yourself together!

“You’ll figure it out.”

Alya’s voice sounded lightyears away, so stuck was Marinette in her own musings. She jumped, a little sheepishly, and realised she hadn’t noticed Alya coming over to her until the spinning desk chair was pressed right by the chaise. The next moment, Alya’s hands were in her hair. Having thoroughly fixed her own short curls, she now concentrated on the silky strands of Marinette’s loose locks, braiding little plaits as if they were children at a sleepover.

Marinette let her. Two perfectly groomed heads were better than one.

“You think you can talk to him about it? As you I mean, not Ladybug,” Alya suggested, quickly clarifying her meaning whilst tugging the red ribbons loose from Marinette’s dark hair.

Snorting in response, Marinette couldn’t help but roll her eyes. Talk? To Chat? The very idea…

“Yeah sure, let me just tweet at him Ayla. Hashtag balcony make-outs,” she giggled, feeling a little better as her hair fell around her shoulders.

Foregoing the braids, Alya reached up and began tying something new into Marinette’s hair, tutting in disapproval. “Slide into the DM’s at least girl, I raised you better than that.”

They shared a laugh, settling into a comfortable silence as Alya worked on both sides of her hair. Marinette sat back and mulled over her options. Truth be told she didn’t have many. She couldn’t talk to Chat, after all it wasn’t likely he’d be back and she had no idea who he was in real life. The notion that she could talk to him as Ladybug, thus revealing herself, made her rapidly descend into a panic so sharp that she quickly pushed that thought to the side.

Really there was nothing else to do but call it what it was. A blip. A crazy alignment of stars which had given her a taste of everything she’d wanted for the past four years, a reminder that it was probably all she was going to get.

She tried not to let the disappointment settle in her bones, yet it was fruitless. Her chest ached as though a hole had been carved there.

Suffice to say it was a familiar ache where Chat was concerned, but it was bigger now.

“There. Done,” Alya pulled back, pleased with her work, and Marinette stood. Stepping over to the vanity mirror, she leaned down to check her reflection. “Matching colours for you and the bae,” she teased, eyebrows wiggling from underneath her rounded glasses.

Marinette threw the cushion at her again, feeling a smug sense of satisfaction as it smacked her right in the face.

At the very least, she had the Gaming Club that night, that would provide a very welcome distraction.

***

Adrien was on the verge of a nervous breakdown.

Which was ironic, considering he’d joined the Gaming Club to avoid that exact thing from happening.

“I can’t do this, I’m going to cancel,” he whimpered, hiding out in the bathroom a floor above their usual meeting place like the coward he was.

“So cancel,” Plagg shrugged, busy amusing himself with unfurling a roll of toilet paper- as per his usual hobby.

“I can’t cancel!” Adrien replied, horror struck as he gazed at himself in the mirror. His fingers gripped the sides of the sink so hard that his knuckles turned white. “Are you insane?!”

“So don’t cancel,” Plagg’s disinterested monotone was really starting to grate on him. “Honestly kiddo what do you want me to say and will it get me food faster?”

The resounding groan from Adrien’s throat was so despairing in nature that he was afraid he’s start rumours of a ghost haunting the building. He leaned on his elbows, burying his face into his hands.

Stupid. He’d been so, so, stupid. And reckless! Totally reckless. What had he been thinking?!

It was worth it though, a small, unchecked part of him thought. Adrien squashed it flat in an instant. After all there was no time to consider the fluttering in his chest, the pleasant swoop of his stomach. Now was the time to face the consequences of his actions. His incredibly foolish, totally moronic actions.

Because, although a part of him ignited, burned in the best possible way, at the memory of Marinette’s lips against his own, another part felt thoroughly ashamed. It felt like he was tricking her in some way. Granted that had never been his intention. His plan had been simple. Leave the rose on her balcony for her to discover. She’d never know it was him and be happy at the gift from a secret admirer. Obviously, things hadn’t worked out the way he planned, though he should have anticipated that.

When had things ever gone the way he planned?

He needed to apologise to her, as Chat, and he was going to do so that night in fact. But before that Adrien needed to pretend, he needed to lie, to Marinette. To the girl he loved. He needed to act like he hadn’t heard her soft sigh, felt the warmth of her skin and the taste of her cherry-blossom lips. He had to fake it, act like it had never happened.

He had to pretend he didn’t desperately want it to happen again.

The idea of being so fake made him ill, and so he placed his hands under the cold water tap to splash his face, allowing the iciness of the water to penetrate his senses and offer him some much-needed clarity.

It didn’t really work but it was the best he could do.

When he entered the Gaming Club, Plagg tucked securely inside his jacket pocket, he was relieved to see Marinette talking to other people. He could barely look at her, the meagre glimpse he’d gotten from across the room had sent his heart cartwheeling down the corridor and somewhere into the next arrondissement.

Not wanting to look suspicious, and fully admitting that he was stalling for time, Adrien wandered over to the desk where Nino was hooking up an old Nintendo console for one of their signature Mario Kart nights.

Mario Kart…Marinette…partners… sitting close together… oh no.

“Hey bro!” Nino chirped, offering Adrien a fist to bump, clearly not noticing how the blood had completely drained from his friend’s face. “Everything ok?”

“H-hey! Everything’s good!” The first lie of the evening. How could Adrien have forgotten it was a Mario Kart night? More importantly, how was he going to survive the evening now? Sitting next to Marinette, shoulders pressed together, watching her tongue poke out in concentration like it normally did? How could he concentrate on anything knowing how close he’d been to said tongue the night before?

Grow up Adrien! You aren’t some horny teenager and Marinette isn’t a prize to be objectified. Show her some respect already!

If Nino had thought Adrien’s reaction was strange, he didn’t show it. Together they settled into an easy conversation, Adrien helping his friend set up the old console. Focusing on such a menial task did wonders for his nerves. He was almost starting to feel normal. Almost.

Of course, just as he was beginning to relax, Marinette had to tap him lightly on the shoulder.

She might as well have given him a 1.21 gigawatt electric shock, given his reaction to both was about the same. If he’d been Chat Noir at the time, his superpowers might have actually propelled him through the ceiling.

“A-Adrien?” Marinette tilted her head, taken aback by his startled shriek. “Are you ok?”

Subconsciously, Adrien’s hand reached up and he clutched his chest, fingers burying into his jumper as if it would cure the frantic beating of his wild heart.

Because she was there, right in front of him. Marinette. The girl he’d kissed last night.

His eyes flicked down to her lips before he could help himself.

“Adrien?”

The second time her voice permeated through his cloudy mind, something snapped inside of him. It was as if he were a character in a film, once played in slow motion, now fast-forwarding.

“Hey!” he cried, louder than he intended, and the people around him turned to stare. He looked at her eyes instead, with far more intensity than normal, mainly because he was so intent on not looking at her lips any more. “Marinette! It’s my friend- Marinette! My good friend, I’m good! How are you? You good- good? Yeah, I’m good, friend. How are you? Did you have a good Valentine’s day?”

WHAT?! Adrien’s brain-filter kicked in far too late, but began screaming at him nonetheless. Why would you ask her that? WHY?! You know how it went! YOU WERE THERE!

Marinette blinked, and it proved just how far gone he was that he found her blinking adorable.

Her blinking.

“Umm,” she blushed, unsure of what to say and, honestly, Adrien couldn’t blame her. He sounded insane even to his own ears, and he’d just asked her something quite private. Actually, he was surprised she wasn’t berating him for it. Then again, she thought he didn’t know about her encounter with Chat Noir.  His words may have seemed innocent to her ears.

What a mess Adrien had gotten himself into, and it only seemed to grow worse with every bit of word-vomit he expelled.

(Was it bad that he felt a tiny bit of pride at her blushing? Probably. But he was going to hell anyway so he might as well enjoy the slow descent at least a little bit.)

Tucking her hair behind her ear, Marinette glanced baffled at Nino, whom Adrien could see shrugging from his peripheral vision.

But he couldn’t care less.

Because he’d just noticed her hair. Or, more specifically, how she was wearing it.

In place of the red ribbons usually tied into her loose black locks, were two green ones instead. Vivid green. Chat Noir green.

His brain collapsed in on itself.

“I’m good-good too.”

Marinette was teasing him. She was grinning and she had green ribbons in her hair and Adrien was going to DIE.

“Good! That’s good!”

Great. He’d always wanted to die sounding like a partially strangled mongoose.

Marinette, mercifully, took pity on him and waved a controller in his face, offering him a place in the first race of the evening. He sighed, relaxing a little, but only a little. Gaming was fine. It was a welcome distraction, as long as he didn’t sit too close to her he’d be fine (who was he kidding? Of course he was going to sit close to her). At least, when he was focused on blue shells and Bullet Bills his brain couldn’t fixate on the meaning behind Marinette’s ribbons, if there was any hidden symbolism he was missing.

Suddenly the thought of seeing her that night, of apologising, seemed that much more dangerous- forbidden almost. But he had to do it. He owed it to her as her friend. Even if that’s all he could ever hope to be.

Nino still hadn’t finished setting up, and a few other members began helping him in their eagerness to get started. As a result, Adrien found himself more alone with Marinette than ever.

They sat down on the floor, controllers in hands, side by side. Their shoulders brushed, like they always did.

Adrien swallowed, wishing he’d worn a t-shirt instead of the woollen monstrosity currently overheating him.

He was fairly sure he was going to lose the game spectacularly.

His fears were proved right when, later that evening, Marinette’s knee brushed against his own and he ended up sending Donkey Kong careening off the end of Rainbow Road.

It was going to be a long night.

***

For the fifteenth time that evening, Marinette called herself an idiot.

Because she was an idiot. An idiot for standing on her balcony, an idiot for hoping lightning would strike twice in the same spot, an idiot for following her heart…

Tightly wrapping her cardigan around her, she gazed out into the mocking skyline. The bitterness of the cold February air was nothing compared to the bitterness she felt building up like sludge in her chest. Bitterness in her fortunes, bitterness in her decisions, bitterness in her own feelings.

Distantly, Marinette thanked the stars that at least it wasn’t as cold as it usually was. She was thankful she had a tiny shred of dignity left at least- that she wasn’t freezing to death in the vain hope that Chat Noir would show up again.

She reached up, fingers brushing against her lips, and remembered.

Furious with herself, Marinette shook her head, as if the rough gesture would expel all the unwanted memories from her mind. Honestly what was she doing acting like a silly sixteen-year-old with a crush? Again?! It was desperate, obsessive, ridiculous-

And totally in character if she was being honest with herself.

She needed a break. A breather. A respite from her own whirlwind emotions regarding the man in the black mask, the man who’d held her heart for longer than she cared to admit to anyone- not even Alya.

Stuffing her hands in her pockets, Marinette let out one last frustrated sigh before turning on her heels and making her way back to her room. Maybe her room would be less of a reminder, would save her from her torment.

But, as usual, fate had other plans for her.

Because, of course, Chat Noir happened to be standing there as if he’d suddenly popped into existence.

The shock of seeing him sent Marinette stumbling backwards with a cry, tripping over a flowerpot and tumbling to the ground.

“Whoa!” Chat called, rushing forward to catch her just in time. One hand gripped her flailing wrist, the other pressed against the small of her back as he pulled her towards him.

For a moment, both of them froze in place. Chat’s fingers splayed across her back, and she briefly felt the edges of his clawed-gloves scratching gently against the fabric of her cardigan. An involuntary shiver ran up her spine before she could control it.

Chat’s eyes widened and he stepped out of their half-embrace with awkward, jittery movements, casting his face away from hers. “Sorry,” he mumbled, scratching the back of his head. “Sorry I shouldn’t have startled you. I guess I have a bad habit.”

Bad habit huh? Marinette had one of those too.

The silence which settled on them both was heavy, uncomfortable, and borderline unbearable. It was laden with memories of the night before, swirling around them, echoing in their minds as though they were standing in an empty theatre, watching their mistakes projected on a screen with no means of escape.

Because it was a mistake… wasn’t it? She hadn’t meant to kiss him, he probably regretted kissing her back. That was why he was here- of that she was sure. To think he was here for any other reason was just asking for a broken heart.

But, oh god, it hadn’t been a mistake. Not to her. She couldn’t ever consider it to be such.

Finally, Marinette could take the silence no longer. Taking a deep breath, she fixed a smile onto her face, painted a picture of a girl who had herself together at least a little, and placed a hand on her hip.

“No rose tonight?”

Chat’s cat-ears twitched. He peered over at her with a puzzled frown before he realised she was teasing. Something dark crossed his eyes and Marinette forgot how to breathe. The look was gone before she could concentrate on it fully, and she found that he was smiling back at her.

“Err, n-no. No. That is- I mean- unfortunately not,” he replied with his signature bow. “But I do have something far more important.”

“Oh really?” Marinette squeaked, inwardly cringing at how lame she sounded. She’d wanted her voice to be sensual and teasing, but instead it sounded like she’d inhaled a ton of helium instead. Clearing her throat, she tried again, arching her eyebrow for good measure and all the while thrilled at the fact that he was simply there. Chat Noir was there. He’d come back to her. “What’s that?”

“An apology.”

Marinette’s blood ran cold.

“About last night,” Chat continued, shuffling from foot to foot, completely unaware of how Marinette’s body, mind, and heart had seized up all at once. “I feel like I made a terrible impression. I- well- I’m not the type of guy to do… what I did.”

From the depths of despair and panic, Marinette felt the faintest hints of confusion. She latched onto it. Confusion was better than rejection.

“What do you mean?” she asked, her voice small and vulnerable, wrapping her arms around herself.

“Well I’m not really a playboy or anything, despite what the media likes to speculate about me. I don’t kiss strangers on balconies. I guess, I didn’t want you to have the wrong impression about me.”

When Marinette hung her head, Chat felt a wave of regret wash over him. He’d practiced what he wanted to say, over and over again but it never seemed enough to fully explain himself- not without revealing to her that he was Adrien Agreste and he’d been lying to her this entire time. He was too afraid of the ramifications of that- so he needed to end this now- before he hurt her.

Damn it, he’d gotten so close though. So close to knowing what they could have- what they could be.

But it was a fantasy. Chat Noir was a large part of him, but it wasn’t all of him. The person he was behind the mask was locked away from Marinette, was a separate entity in her eyes.

Who was he fooling? They couldn’t be together. Not like this.

He had to try harder as Adrien and if she rejected him he would simply pick up the pieces of his broken heart. He would respect her, be her friend, move on, and certainly not use Chat Noir’s hero status as a means to trick her into loving him. She deserved better, deserved the world, even if he wasn’t the one to give it to her.

That’s why he had to leave. Right now. Being here, being this close to her, was crumbling his resolve. Every cute gesture she made was another step closer to his damnation. He had to leave before he said or did something he’d regret, before his principles were lost to the wind.

“It was Valentine’s day. I guess… it’s easy to get swept up in the romance of the day, right?” Marinette said. She was smiling, but the sparkle in her eyes was dulled somehow. Once again Chat’s attention was drawn to the green ribbons in her hair, as she quickly tucked a few strands behind her ears. He couldn’t bring herself to speak as she grew distant, deep in her own thoughts, and her shoulders raised. “But if we’re being honest Chat, I was worried you’d see me in a bad light too. Like- I mean- I’m not the kind of girl who kisses random celebrities and I’m certainly not the type to blab to the press about it either.”

“I didn’t ever think you were,” he uttered, swallowing thickly, and a little bit of sparkle returned to Marinette’s eyes. Her cheeks turned pink again.

Chat felt his claws digging painfully into his palms.

“Well… that’s a relief. I mean I always admired you,” Marinette stammered out the confession before she meant to, quickly covering her blunder with half-truths. “You know you saved me once- from an akuma. You didn’t notice me at the time, and it was years ago, but I never forgot.”

Chat felt as though he’d been physically struck by her words.

He’d saved her? He’d saved Marinette? And he hadn’t noticed her?!

“I wish I’d seen you,” he said before he could help himself. The rest of his desires remained unsaid, as new possibilities, new what ifs, formed in his mind- like an alternate reality.

Chat inwardly cringed. No way in hell was he going to get any sleep that night.

“I wish you’d seen me too,” Marinette admitted.

Chat’s hand was halfway to hers before he yanked it back, his heart beating wildly, his mind screaming at him to leave. The pull was almost tangible, magnetic, drawing him closer to her. It was dangerous, and he needed to leave.

“I hate to be a sundae, but I have to split!” he laughed, high and fake, all the while cringing at what was perhaps the worst pun he’d ever made. And that was saying something.

Marinette didn’t say anything, but laughed once.

Ok, she thought, maybe she was ridiculous, but he was equally so. Maybe that’s why she loved him so much.

She watched him make his way to the edge of the balcony and something stirred inside her, the raw feelings which had sparked when their lips had met woke from their slumber, and she reached out to touch his shoulder.

“Chat?” her voice matched the soft tremors echoing through her body, and she tried to remember to breathe. She couldn’t let him leave like this, she’d been so close. “How about…one last kiss?”

Chat stilled, statue-like. His lips parted, and Marinette panicked.

“I mean!” she corrected, face turning to flames, “I mean sorry that was dumb- so dumb. It’s just that I- I liked that kiss and I thought- I don’t know what I thought- but I wanted to-”

His lips crashed into hers, and the rest of Marinette’s sentence was lost forever.

Chat kissed her, kissed her with a resolve thoroughly destroyed and a heart so indescribably owned; owned by her, possessed by her, consumed by her. His hands were frantic, and Marinette matched him in every way as they pressed into each other. Her fingers gripped the back of his head, tangled in his hair, and pulled him closer.

Like he needed an excuse to get closer to her.

The pair of them moved apart to breathe, great shuddering breaths, and then their lips were together again- as neither of them could stand to be apart for a moment. Chat’s fingers slid from her hands to grip her hips, a primal, dark part of him triumphant as he heard a moan slip from Marinette’s mouth.

They stumbled backwards, towards the wall, and Chat pressed her against it, hands roaming her sides- never going too far- always listening to her reactions. Desire coursed through him, a need to please her, to make her moan again, without pushing too far.

She must have sensed him falter, sensed his caution, as a frustrated hum rose from the back of her throat, almost like a purr of her own. Her hands moved from his hair, gripping the bell around his throat, and she tugged him down towards her, kissing his neck.

Chat was having a hard time not passing out from that alone, but then she rolled her hips, making it so there wasn’t a sliver of streetlight between them, and he was fairly certain he died and was reborn on the spot.

Dangerous was the word whispering in his mind, the word he was ignoring as his hands cupped the sides of Marinette’s face, tilting her head back. She arched into him again, countering his movements like a dance, and he gasped.

It felt too natural, too perfect… almost…familiar.

Dangerous he thought as his tongue flicked against her lips.

Dangerous- he thought as her mouth opened and he was rewarded with another moan.

Stop. Stop before you can’t, he pleaded with himself as Marinette’s hands wrapped around his shoulders, her fingernails scratching against his neck.

He didn’t stop.

They kissed for what seemed like hours, passion moving from an explosive force to one of slow-burning sensuality, settling into a rhythm that was far too natural, but neither of them could bring themselves to mind.

It was a long time before Chat could bring himself to leave her, to stop kissing her. It was addictive, intoxicating, and filled with promise. For months his heart had been starved, yearning and wishing, and now it was real. Their kisses were real, her affections were real.

And so was her voice, ringing out in the coldness of the night, in answer to his question, “May I see you tomorrow night, Princess?”

There was a pause, both of them treading on thin ice, ice which slowly creaked and groaned beneath their feet.

“Yes,” she breathed, and the ice shattered, plunging them both into unknown depths.

(art to follow)

Aspects

Sun aspects illuminate and brighten the planet’s attributes or burn and overshadow them.

Moon aspects connect the planet’s attributes to the native’s emotions and sensitize them.

Mercury aspects intellectualize and express the planet’s attributes or they over-analyse them and make them nervous.

Venus aspects beautify and soften the planet’s attributes or make them vain and artificial.

Mars aspects empower and add drive to the planet’s attributes or exhaust them and make them aggressive.

Jupiter aspects expand and add joy to the planet’s attributes or make them arrogant and greedy.

Saturn aspects refine and structure the planet’s attributes or confine and belittle them. 

Uranus aspects make the planet’s attributes eccentric and ingenious or unpredictable and inappropriate.

Neptune aspects make the planet’s attributes more intuitive and altruistic or delusional and confusing.

Pluto aspects transform and strengthen the planet’s attributes or corrupt and pervert them.

Ok I know Nora revealing to Oscar how she found her semblance was played off as “hahaha i got struck by lightning (on a thursday/Thor’s day i see what you did there) and didnt die! :D” but.

BUT.

presumably this happened post-Kuroyuri. Can you imagine, young Ren and Nora, trying to find their way in the world - or hell, trying to find their way to the next goddamn village - all on their own, knowing the Nuckelavee was STILL out there, and travelling on high ground in an attempt to make sure it wasnt gonna surprise attack them?

Traveling through Anima’s mountains as young little kids, with only each other to lean on, and a storm begins? Rain falls and thunder rolls and Ren’s telling Nora to start heading down because lightning strikes tall places, only for Nora to start following him and get struck by lightning?

Imagine the horror and fear that would have gone through his mind. He’d seen his mother killed, ran as his father died trying to protect him, heard the screams as his entire village was slaughtered, with the exception of this one little girl who was the only family he had left. Now she’d been struck by lightning.

Hearing her scream (presumably more out of surprise than anything, but Ren would have presumed it was pain), saying they’d protect each other after the Nuckelavee attack only for her to be killed by lightning of all things, screaming her name…

only for her to be fine?

Nora’s surprised herself, shaky from this massive flux of power she’s taken in, maybe not able to keep her balance - if the power of lightning hadnt knocked her flat on her ass - and but with not a damn scratch on her. Sure, she’s amazed and probably adrenaline pumped from the power up

but Ren?

He’s just in tears.

in the span of no more than a few seconds, he’s basically started to regain the slightest sense of normalcy in his life, then had to relive the pain of losing someone close to him all over again, only to see that shes fine - shes fine shes ok shes still /alive/. The rollercoaster of emotions this boy woulda gone through… it hurts thinking about.

Imagine him having just sunk to his knees in emotional exhaustion, unable to stop the tears, Nora running to him to hug him (maybe a little too tightly with her newfound strength) to let him know its ok, /shes/ ok, and the two of them crying together in the rain.

masterlist.

est. 5/17 | primarily rated m for mature.

JJK

〚 givenchy & gold (m.) | multishot | completed
The fun part is hiding it, getting to hear Jeongguk whisper to you in the dark corners of the store where no one can find you. Someplace where you’re completely hidden from view with only his eyes and hands on you. You love feeling him on you, in you, all over you in places only a select few others have explored.
read here

KTH

fate of the fast & furious (m.) | oneshot | completed
There’s always that surge of adrenaline you feel in your gut whenever Taehyung kicks into those higher gears and goes a little too fast on the home stretches of city roads. For those few split-second moments, you realize why he’s so destructive, into such a taboo sport that other drivers curse at. You can only imagine what 150 miles an hour feels like, and the loud echoes of bike motors on the walls of underground tunnels, and the adrenaline rush that it brings a person.
read here


the cold | drabble | completed
You love being nestled against Taehyung, the flat plane of him, the warmth of his baggy t-shirts that seem to drape breezily right off his collarbones. His scent—something powdery and flower-like, probably cheap detergent, but it’s him, and that’s what matters.
read here

PJM

trick shot (m.) | multishot | completed
Jimin looks concentrated as hell, hair fallen into his eyes, but he looks through it. You make it look easy, like an art form, but to him it’s brand new. You step aside, watching him pull back on the cue with his dominant hand. Watching him bent over the pool table, ass tight in those slacks, and suddenly it’s hot in here all over again. A thirst not even the water in your glass can quench.
read here

KNJ

gutter sluts (m.)
coming soon!

JHS

signal (m.)
coming soon!


the night shift (m.) | oneshot | completed
The real finish line is the view of Hoseok, partially nude in nothing but telltale boxers. The sheet is the only thing pulled over his lower half, giving a tease of the idea that he may as well have absolutely nothing on. A view you long grew accustomed to before your nightshifts started and when you guys actually had time to fuck at night like a normal couple in heat. He’d fall asleep in nothing and you’d wake up to just his soft skin. Raking your fingers over the bones in his upper back because he always sleeps on his front.
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MYG

7:30AM (m.) | drabble | completed
This morning Yoongi’s got his arms around you, your favorite morning fog to wake up in. A mess of sheets and limbs. There’s no special occasion other than his lethargy, probably exhausted of waking up so early every damn day just for the sake of video editing, and you’re not complaining.
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rule of thirst (m.) | oneshot | completed
You hate that he can suspect emotion even from a mile away. Not even in a charming sense—the kind of knowledge you gain from living with someone in close proximity for so long and being able to read them from the inside out. He can literally read you like an open book, actually hear your pulse accelerate with strain and interpret your emotions like a codex. You can’t hide anything from him anymore.
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insemination wars (m.) | multishot | incomplete
Exhaustive research, careful planning, using calendars for things you never thought you’d ever have to use a calendar for. It all becomes a norm to your busy schedules. Except busy is an understatement and how the fuck are you supposed to put aside time to conceive a child when you don’t even have enough time to finish a taco salad at lunch?
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KSJ

restoration | drabble | completed
The bold truth hurts, but you’ve got to get it out of your head. Nothing could have convinced you enough to stay, not even Seokjin who had you around his finger from the start. He drowned you out of his mind so easily with his job, making you seem foolish for ever convincing yourself he’d be different and he’d show you more eventually.
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only for a second (m.)
coming soon!


facets of greed (m.)
coming soon!

Atomic Blonde (and why I’m a Sapphic who adored it)

Okay, first off…WOW! What a ride that film was! After having a full 24hrs  to really digest this film, I can honestly say that this film really blew my  expectations, in so many different ways. Since there seems to be so much  discourse over this film, I thought I would post a POSITIVE list of all the  reasons why this film is as important and special to me as it is, even with  That Scene. As Lorraine Broughton would say, “ Shall We?”

Okay first off, the obvious…

  • AESTHETIC MUCH!?
  • 80′s soundtrack with phenomenal remixes.
  • NEON FOR DAYS!!
  • Charlize Theron, playing a truly Bad-Ass Bisexual MI6 Agent while still looking sexy as Hell!
  • The action was some of the best I have ever witnessed!
  • The general setting of this film, Communist Berlin, gives a remarkable window into just what the Cold War in its later stages entailed. The Cold War was perhaps one of the most deceitful wars in history, and when you figure in just how sensitive the situation was, you realize that Every. Move. Counts.

Lorraine Broughton

  • She owns my ass.
  • Again, we have an Openly-Bisexual Female Lead, who’s only main love interest is another woman!
  • Charlize Theron not only did 98% of all her own stunts, but she sustained injuries because of it.
  • I loved her characterization, it was one of the highlights of this film. We often forget that movies like this are hardly ever realistic, but in this film the opening scene is of Lorraine, MI6′s Top Agent, wearily trying to attend to her beaten body. She is barely alive, and as the film goes on we see just how much of a toll her physical and emotional well-being takes due to the nature of her job. As the film progresses we see her grow more cold and disconnected to the point where she is practically numb to those around her (her interrogation, mostly).
  • She wins all her fights, but not without repercussions. Her body takes. A. Beating. And unlike most films her wounds don’t just magically disappear or just “get better”. No, they are there for weeks, in all their ugliness, to display just how vulnerable as a person she is, whilst also reminding those who see her how tough and strong she has to be just to merely survive.

Lorraine and Delphine

  • Okay, first off…OMG THESE TWO!
  • Sofia Boutella was adorable as Delphine, and the way her innocence and naive-ness abolutely melted Lorraine was so cute!
  • The way Lorraine looked at Delphine with such intrigue, and the way Delphine looked at Lorraine with such awe.
  • The whole “Harold, they’re Lesbians”-like scenario with the dude at the bar (even tho Lorraine is Bi).
  • Again, we get another glimpse into Lorraine’s characterization here, which is basically she gets distracted by pretty girls we see that, even though Lorraine is still skeptical of Delphine at first, she very easily falls for her, a softness that we up until that point had yet to see in her.
  • Delphine’s slight hesitance when she gives Lorraine that adorably soft kiss and Lorraine’s shyness in returning it!
  • The way we see Lorraine follow Delphine into a more private place and being so dazed and transfixed by this tiny French Girl is mesmerizing and makes my heart skip a beat!
  • OMG their wicked make-out session and the slamming against the wall and the WHOLE SCENE THAT FOLLOWS I COULD NOT BREATH!
  • “…So you made contact with the French Operative?” “Obviously”
  • Lorraine in nothing but a sweater looking over Delphine as she sleeps-watching, wondering, worrying about what will happen to her.
  • THEY GOT TOGETHER MORE THAN ONCE!
  • AFTER-SEX SNUGGLES!
  • Honestly, them snuggling was one of the most tender moments in the whole film. For once it feels as though Lorraine is being genuine with Delphine, which she picks up on.
  • Lorraine stroking Delphine’s hair while Delphine nudges her head in Lorraine’s neck is so precious. The way Lorraine is so gentle with her and laughs and smiles at her makes my heart melt so much! She cares so much for this one woman she just met and it is so beautiful!
  • Tiny Soft Nose Kisses!
  • The fact their relationship, no matter how brief, is actually a small subplot means so much because it really feels like this was for us Sapphics, despite what happens later.

That Scene among other things

  • Oh boy, here we go. In my opinion, I did not see this as partaking in the horrid “Kill Your Gays” trope.
  • We saw it coming in the trailer you guys, and I was fully prepared for this scenario.
  • She was a naive, inexperienced spy who got too close to Lorraine, and suffered the ultimate price for it. This happened to all of Lorraine’s lovers (although I honestly think she was just using her first one for information, where as she truly cared for Delphine).
  • Delphine Fought. Back. Hard! And she did a damn good job at keeping up. But unfortunately she did not have the skill nor the experience to win that battle. She is not Lorraine, who barely came out the mission alive!
  • This is a spy film about the Cold War, there were going to be many, many casualties. Lorraine (Another Queer) was the only one to make it out alive.
  • When Lorraine found Delphine, I truly felt for her then. This is the first time we see her fully shut down as she Empathetically mourns her girlfriend (which we hardly get to see in general, the LGBT Hero mourning the death of their lover).
  • At this point, after all that she has gone through (the beatings, the betrayals, the loss of intelligence, etc) this is the one thing that finally breaks her, and LORRAINE. IS. FUCKING. DONE.
  • She is done with everything around her, and we see this as she goes from on-the-ground vulnerable to STONE. COLD. NOTHING. And she goes out for blood, and Damn-It does she get it! She shows no mercy for Delphine’s killer, and it is obvious that this is revenge in its most raw form.
  • In the end this is a story about a spy in the Cold War, and in a genre like this things are going to be very brutal. We see this brutality play out on Lorraine, and how it affects her and all of those involved. She made it out with her life, and that was her reward. 
  • So Delphine’s death, to me, was the final Plot Point to move us into the final act, as it was portrayed as the one act of Evil that Crossed That Line, and to further the Characterization of Lorraine.
  • I could go one about the phenomenal action sequences, because I have never witnessed such raw and realistic fighting in an action movie, and to have a Female Bisexual as the lead taking as much as she dishes out was both horrifying yet empowering!

Of course everyone is entitled to their opinion, and if you think this film will seriously trigger you, then by all means please take care of your well-being, because that is ultimately the most important thing.

Was I sad that Delphine died? Yes, of course! Did I see it as strictly because she was gay? No, I did not. Do I see this as good representation? Ultimately, yes because I still felt incredibly valid as a Bisexual in more ways than one with this film, and the last time I felt this good about myself was when I first saw Carol (2015) dir. Todd Haynes in theaters (which nothing will ever top that film).

But for everyone else, please GO SEE THIS FILM. For the one negative we must also see all it’s Astonishing Positives this film has, and for it to get the attention and praise that it has is such a big deal for all of us, because if we show our support for this truly Rare Gem then they will make a sequel, and other films like it! Only then can we move forward!

UPDATE: So I just saw Atomic Blonde today for the second time in one week, and upon my second viewing I’ve come to realize just how much I love this film, and why it beat out my expectations originally! And it mainly falls back to what I discussed earlier, about Lorraine and Delphine’s romance and Lorraine herself, for instance:

  • Again, I love Lorraine’s characterization! Being more aware of the story my second time-round, I got to focus more on Lorraine herself, and I think I underestimated just how cold and numb and positively DONE she is by the “end” of her mission (again, in reference to her interrogation).
  • The physical and emotional toll on her and her body really is just as prominent as I remember, and my goodness I cannot recall another film where I actually left the theatre physically exhausted by what I just watched. Everything she’s endured sort of rubs off on you, and if that isn’t the most engrossing experience a character can portray, than I do not know what is.
  • Delphine and Lorraine, my god I love their relationship! It is the only relationship in the whole film solely built on attraction and Mutual Trust, so much so where they would rather protect each other over their mission.
  • In fact, going in this movie the first time all I was expecting between them was the “One Night Stand” that was so heavily portrayed in the trailers-which I would of been happy with-and, (just like in the trailers) I prepared myself for Delphine’s demise soon after-But we had an entire subplot dedicated to their relationship, right up to the very end!
  • Because of this Lorraine’s and Delphine’s romance felt genuine, filled with love and tenderness and worry and drive to protect each other-and that really is beautiful representation.
  • Which, I believe, is why Lorraine truly shuts down when it all goes south, and why we see the Lorraine we do in her interrogation. SHE IS COLD. SHE IS BEATEN. AND SHE IS TIRED.
  • In the end, I do think she cared more for Delphine than past lovers, which is why she seems so utterly broken when we first see her. She went back to Delphine even after her superiors threatened to end her, and she lied about Delphine to protect her from them, even though she was gone.

Anyway, as you can see this film really did a number on me, and I am absolutely fine with that! I apologize for making my crazy long post even longer, but there were things I still wanted to get off my chest, because this really is a Dream Film-a Queer, Female Lead 80′s Spy Film actually exists, and I think Atomic Blonde really hit it out of the park-and has ruined all other action films for me here-on out!

Hate That You Know Me (So Well)

Summary:

Adrien and Marinette discuss Chat Noir.

Can also be found on FF.net and AO3.


“Can I ask you a question?”

She was lying face down on his carpet so he was left to interpret the muffled “yrsfh”. She hadn’t said no to him yet so he gave in to precedence.

“Does Chat Noir know?”

Marinette didn’t answer him right away so he leaned over the side of the couch to look down at her.  She turned her face so it was no longer buried in his rug and one very blue, very wary eye peeked up at him.

“No,” She whispered.  “No one was supposed to know.”

It had been like this for an hour now. 

She seemed to still be coming out of shock.  After all, it wasn’t every day your classmate stumbles upon your biggest secret. Adrien wished, not for the first time, that he had chosen any other alley, if only to spare her whatever she was feeling right now.

“I’m sorry,” He said, again.

She turned her face back into the carpet.  “Snrt yr fawl.”

And, really, it wasn’t.

Not when he considered the increase in akuma attacks over the past few months or the fact that he and Marinette had been circling each other for over a year.  In fact, Adrien was surprised that they hadn’t stumbled upon each other transforming sooner.

It really was obvious now that he knew.

Of course Ladybug was Marinette.  There was no one else in Paris like her.

And if, after the warm, pink light faded, her startled eyes met his with anything but absolute despair he wouldn’t have hesitated pulling her to him.

As it was, he had still been reeling from the gunshock that was watching his beautiful classmate (had she really been so close) transform into his beautiful partner, when she crumpled in on herself shaking no, no, no, no.

And when Adrien finally did realize what was happening and started to move forward she was already up, fragile and broken and strong.

“Don’t say a word.”

Caught in the steel of her eyes he could only nod before she threw her yoyo up and out, vanishing from the alleyway.

There was, after all, an akuma.

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Jungkook: When you catch him masturbating

Genre: Smut

Tags: sex talk/ masturbation/ kinky play

MAFIA AU

Pairing: Jungkook/Reader

Characters:

You: The leader of a mafia organisation. 

Jeon Jungkook - Master of burglary and a hitman. You were childhood friends but now he works for you. 4 years younger. Doing his best to prove that despite his age he’s the right man for you.

Originally posted by pjmjjk


Setting: Having been sent on a mission to steal a very expensive piece of art, Jungkook arrives at your house to report on his job and to deliver the valuable object into the hands of its rightful owner.

If one ever asked Jeon Jungkook what was the thing that he craved most in his life he would without a doubt mention your name. He admired you. Pure adoration and much too visible eagerness displayed on his face whenever your eyes met and lingered a bit too long on each other. You were his boss. Free from doubt, he respected you greatly and made sure never to disappoint the object of his desire. That was probably why he had always been the best in completing even the most challenging and painfully shitty tasks no one else was capable of handling. Utter devotion and competing nature of your younger subordinate and childhood friend Jungkook never ceased to amaze you. It was only natural to turn to him yet another time. After all, wasn’t it obvious that he’d have been more than thrilled to fulfil your orders? Yes, you knew it well. The prospect of a possible reward left him even more restless and yearning for your attention each and every time. 


His main problem that he had to struggle with on numerous occasions however, was the fact that in your eyes he had always been a shy and cute younger friend who had to be protected. Definitely not a real man that could very well make your legs feel wobbly when in his presence.    


On the other hand, poor Jungkook could not possibly realise the fact that you were more than acutely aware of his now changed physics and strikingly different vibes that were coming out of him whenever he entered the room. Was this really the same lost baby boy with puppy eyes that used to sneak into your bed because he could not fall asleep? 


Hell, no. The moment you saw him after a 4 years break had made you question your ability to see properly. He was ridiculously handsome. Tall, slim, but with visible muscles that his too tight clothes exposed all too well. The way he walked even. His voice. Everything so drastically different you wanted to scream. And, there he was - wooing you and doing everything to prove that despite his age he can make you his. Everything to make you see that your mafia boss ass would never find better hands to take care of it. Both, literally and metaphorically.

So, once called to your office and after having heard that he indeed can once again cater to your silly whims, his stomach jumped in excitement.


Originally posted by jjks

Y: Stop smirking and answer. Will you be able to complete the mission or no?

K: Seriously, though… another painting, noona? How many have I fetched for you so far?

Y: Do you have any problems with that? Shall I ask Taehyung if you chicken out already?

K: No such thing.

His voice turned dark and hoarse. After all, you really knew how to pull his strings. Who was the one smirking now?.

K: I’ll take my leave, then. We’ll see each other soon.

Y: Mhmmm…

K: No, very soon…

He corrected himself and you raised your eyes from the documents only to see his back disappearing behind the doors of your office.


The mission had gone smoothly. He’d been extremely motivated to steal that one particularly expensive piece of art for his beautiful boss. Sadly, Jeon Jungkook, professional hitman and a burglar had run into some unexpected problems on the way, which had left him slightly wounded in the end. Had he been too careless because of all that tormenting images in his head? Had it been too difficult to focus on the task at hand with your pretty face taunting him over and over again? He had refused to answer any of these nagging questions and immediately after retrieving the object of your desire his feet found its way to your breathtaking house. 


You went out of your room to fetch a glass of water from the kitchen when you saw him standing in the middle of the vast room, holding tightly onto the neatly wrapped piece of art. A small smile forming on your face, but it died out just as quickly. What was that red stain on his shirt?

Instead of going forward, your legs stopped obeying you and you found yourself taking a step back. It looked so nasty. His shirt was drenched with sticky, red liquid. Was it getting too hot in the room? You suddenly felt it was hard to breathe.

Only then did you notice your loving sister and also a partner in running one of the most fearsome Mafia gangs in the country clutching to his devastated t-shirt in an attempt to perhaps have a better look of his wound?

Wound

The word resonated in your head and you didn’t like the way it made you feel.

K: It’s alright, Lulu. I’m ok. It’s nothing major.

He tried to push away her prying fingers. Hands stretched out for you to show the prize that doubtlessly proved that he had completed the mission without fail.

Originally posted by donewithjeon

Only now you did not care much about that foul painting. You could tear it to shreds right there and then.

Despite having problems with standing he looked so content and proud for having been able to successfully finish his task.

L: Oh, fuck Kooks, it looks so awful! Get that ass of yours to the bathroom I have to tend to this wound or otherwise you’ll bleed out on all the carpets.

You knew your sister well enough to realise that she was just joking around to ease the tension. One quick glance in your direction showed her how bad the situation was.

K: Common, it’s nothing to make a fuss about!

Before she had a chance to respond you cut the discussion short with your command.

Y: Do as you’re told and stop fucking around, you brat!

He looked a bit bewildered but also knowing Jungkook too well, Lulu started pushing him into the direction of the bathroom, not letting him engage into yet another fight with you.

Once out of your sight, you felt yourself getting teary-eyed. Guilt, worry and regret… All these emotions hit you out of a sudden. You were glad Lulu was there. You could not take care of his injury with your hands shaking like that. You felt weak. You didn’t want to show how badly this incident affected you. Since when exactly was the head of a mafia organisation so fragile?

You decided to get him some food. He must have been hungry and tired. The operation to get the painting had taken the entire night and it was only a matter time for him to finally feel the exhaustion spreading over his body.

Not long after, the smell of freshly prepared food fioated around the house. As expected, forever hungry Jeon Jungkook came back to the kitchen the moment his nose sensed it. If there was something that hadn’t changed since he was a child it definitely must have been his appetite. Fond memories started roaming in your head again.

The food was ready soon after. You were observing him as he was sitting at the table and stuffing his cheeks with curry rice you had prepared for him. Cute. Your heart skipped a beat. That fucker… You hated him for being so fucking perfect.

He was visibly tired. Eyes getting smaller and smaller. He rubbed them in between stuffing another portion of rice into his now red from exhaustion fluffy cheeks.

He gulped two 0,5 glasses of cola one after the other. Asked for seconds and after devouring it you thought he’d have fallen asleep on the table.

Y: Why don’t you go and have a nap in my room?

Your melodic voice brought him back to reality. He wanted to respond but only a huge yawn escaped his mouth. He simply nodded instead and took his way to your room where he had a shower and collapsed on your bed just after.


K: Oh god… it feels so good in her bed.

He felt blessed. He was so comfy. It really felt amazing and he was struggling at this point so much. It wasn’t like every day he had a chance to lay down in your bed. He was totally taken in by the smell of your sheets. Everything had your scent and the very thought that it was your bed and that you were sleeping there must have influenced his dreams.

Needless to say, after a couple of hours later he woke up with a huge problem in his now too tight boxer briefs. The dream he had was so vivid… The truth was he’d been dreaming of you numerous times but today it was more real than ever.

He was laying there, still a bit sleepy and drowsy from his nap. When he opened his eyes he could have sworn that he really had fucked you. He didn’t even know where he was…

After the initial confusion, everything slowly came back to his pretty head and he felt a frustrating disappointment the moment he finally realised it had been all just a wet dream.

One of too many…

K: No you didn’t just have sex with Y/N in the kitchen, get a hold of yourself, you idiot… It was just a fucking dream.

He reprimanded himself. The statement he had just uttered was so mentally agonising but he had to do this to bring himself back to harsh reality. The one in which he didn’t have sex with you in the kitchen after you had prepared a curry rice for him.

All he wanted was to close his eyes and go back to this vivid dream. But, unfortunately, even though he was trying very hard to fall asleep again there was this problematic issue that didn’t let him sleep anymore…

K: Gahhh...

He growled angrily in frustration. This poor boy was shifting nervously from one to the other side of the bed while replaying images of you and him fucking mindlessly on that kitchen counter. He got so hard it was beginning to be painful. Almost unbearable. If he had been in his own bed he would have jacked himself off as he usually did when he had these dreams with you.

It felt a bit not right to do that there, though… Right? 

At least, somewhere at the back of his head, he knew he really shouldn’t have. That it was inappropriate and just simply wrong. He was having this mental fight. Weighing arguments for and against.

K: Get your shit together. You won’t wank off in her bed!

He angrily switched position to lay on his stomach and put his arms under the pillows to prevent himself from doing any nasty things.

Turned out, that it was the worst possible decision ever…

He felt his large hands brushing against some silky material. It was so nice to touch that he fumbled it in between his fingers. Soon after, the curiosity won over him and he pulled out the fabric from under the pillows.

He examined the delicate material resting in his palms.

K: No… noooo…

He took a deep breath and squeezed your panties in his hand burying head into the sheets. It was the exact moment when it dawned on him that he had lost this unfair battle. He rolled over on his back again.

His free hand immediately in his boxers and he started jerking off.

Shamelessly.

No further doubts in his head anymore. It just felt too good to control himself and he had yearned for this too much to stop.

He was playing with your panties in one of his hands, while the other slowly worked his rock hard member. He even sniffed them trying to get to know how you would taste. He was still replaying the mental images from the dream in his head. He wanted to be in you so badly.

So badly that he took your panties and without much thinking wrapped his painful erection with them. He began pumping even harder and quicker.

The fabric created this nice sensation on his skin and a soft moan escaped his lips. He was breathing laboriously and he even cried out your name from time to time, imagining that he is indeed thrusting into you on that kitchen counter as it had been in his dream.

Your panties were completely soaked wet. He was leaking with precum and only moments shared him from this much-needed release. A couple of strokes with his skilful hand and long fingers.

But then, he heard a knock on the door.

Y: Kookie, are you up?

It was you. His heart almost stopped in his chest. He quickly covered himself with the blanket and answered in a shaky voice. So unlike him.

K: Yeaahhh… Kind of…

Is he out of breath? - you were thinking to yourself, getting a little worried about his condition.

Y: Are you unwell, Kooks?

K: No, I’m just fine, noona. Perfectly fine!

Let’s be honest. It didn’t sound too convincing so you slowly opened the door and entered the room. He was covered up with blankets up to his ears. 

So cute…Too cute…

Your thoughts once again drifting away in a wrong direction. You couldn’t help, but to smile at this big boy.

Y: Did you sleep well, sleepyhead?

He saw you were moving in the direction of the bed and was mentally panicking. He wanted to die for his stupidity and lack of any control over his hormones. Being caught by your love interest while jacking off in her bed? What a wonderful prospect! It surely would help in proving that he wasn’t a childish boy anymore. He was crying inside and scolding himself in his thoughts.

it was like a really shitty predicament that he found himself in… it became clear that you intended to sit beside him on the bed and soon after, there he was with a hard on and you sitting inches away from him. His face was so red you kept on nagging him with questions…

Y: Kookie, are you sure you’re alright?

You touched hid forehead with your hand.

Y: You seem feverish…

K: No, trust me! I’m ok, noona.

He really tried to play it cool. Too bad…

Y: Maybe it’s because of the wound? Lemme see it.

After saying that you took the sheets in your hand, wanting to uncover this poor, little, wounded boy… You were so worried!

K: NOOOOOO… NO!

He almost jumped on the bed desperately catching the sheets and clinging to them for his dear life which in all honesty got you even more worried about him. Maybe even annoyed? Was he playing a big man while actually, he was in real pain? Your face twisted at the thought.

Y: Oh, I knew it! You’re in pain! Why didn’t you tell us earlier?!

You kept on shouting louder and louder.

Y: Don’t try to act like some fucking badass! It’s not one of your stupid video games you brat!

Then you pulled the sheets with all of your force… and well…

You didn’t quite expect to see what you saw. First of all, Jeon Jungkook,, your childhood friend and now a subordinate had a fucking hard on. Second of all? It seemed as if your panties stood out from under his boxers.

Thirdly…

Y: Kooks, you’re huge!

You thought to yourself or maybe you wanted to but it turned out that you had just said it out loud.

Yes, it must have been the case judging from Jungkook’s reaction. His chocolate brown eyes went wide. He wanted to say something. He even opened his mouth in order to do so, but in the end, he didn’t utter a thing. At least, nothing coherent.

You were just staring at his length… Everything about this situation was oh so awkward. He felt so ashamed. He tried to read from your face what you were possibly thinking and sadly, he only had bad predictions

K: Baby girl, I’m so sorry… It just kind of… happened? I don’t know how… I mean…

And truth to be told all you were thinking then was how damn hot he looked. His body in full view. Rock hard thighs pressed together in a pathetic attempt to hide his throbbing member. He was so visibly scared of your reaction. His plump lips were left partially open in an ‘o’ shape. Eyes even bigger than ever.

You felt the sudden urge to touch him. He was just irresistible, You more or less knew what must have happened and you couldn’t really blame him… He’s so young… He had been in your bed and then he probably also found the panties.

You felt your core getting hot. The idea of Jungkook touching himself in your bed was simply too alluring… and so dirty.

Immediately, you decided to play along.

Y: Did you wank in my bed?

K: Noona, I’m so so…

Y: Answer the question, dammit!

You interrupted him not letting him utter his miserable apologies. He grabbed so hard on the sheets that it must have hurt him. He averted your gaze feeling so bad for himself, but then… he forgot how to breathe when he saw your hand approaching his boxers.

K: Noona?!

You took the string of your panties that was standing out from his boxers and you slowly pulled the string trying to take them out and unwrap his member.

And, oh fuck… You could only imagine how pleasurable it was for him observing how he threw his head back moaning in response. His body shivered feeling as the fabric was ticklishly moving around his shaft.

K: Baby girl…

Breathless plea leaving his deliciously enticing wet with saliva lips.

Y: Did you think about some other girls when you were jerking off?

Your voice as cold as it was only possible. He frowned at the accusation. He wanted to respond but you caught him short when you put a hand on his hard member caressing him through the boxers.

K: Ahhhh…

He inhaled sharply and due to the pleasurable sensation that unexpectedly crept over his body, he forgot what he was about to say. His mind completely blank focusing only on your ministrations. Hips already rocking in rhythm with you palm. His orgasm was quickly building up all over again. You were rubbing his cock in circles never really fully taking him into your hand, but applying enough pressure for him to forget his name.

Y: Answer the fucking question, you brat!

You ran up with your hand so high that it must have hurt him now. He squeaked and his hands involuntarily trying to hold you closer to his chest so as to hug you, He truly wanted to answer back, but it was all very hard because of your touch.

K: Noona, I’d never…Believe me, please!

His answer delivered in between desperate moans and harsh grunts coming out of his throat.

Y: So, what did you think about? Eh?!

K: About you!

He blurted out truthfully. His head collapsing in the crook of your neck.

Y: Like I’d believe you, you dirty, little liar!

He was so turned on that he was bending down, trying to look for your lips. His hip thrusts even more erratic now. It wasn’t going to last much longer. Despite feeling like in fucking heaven he was so flustered that you didn’t want to believe him. He quickly spat out, without much thinking. His voice cracking all the time.

K: I was dreaming about fucking you on that damned kitchen counter!

Words quickly came out of his mouth. His laborious breathing was a true music to your ears.

A way to get a confession out of a guy. Indeed. But, he sounded so sexy you felt a sudden wave of pleasure in your stomach and you felt that it was too much to tease him so you cooed…

Y: Baby, please tell me more. 

His spirits got up after hearing that familiar nickname. You went on.

Y: Did you fuck me well?

Being obviously turned on as well at this point, you couldn’t keep it in anymore. Your words were like magic. He started eagerly nodding his head. Overexcited and happy that you finally believed him.

K: Baby you were moaning so hard for me, I swear…

Y: Was I?

K: Oh, yes, yes. You did! You even screamed my name over and over again.

All the time you kept massaging his dick and, not surprisingly, being the little kinky shit that he was, your dirty talk threw him over the edge. Before climaxing he once again nuzzled his head into your neck as if embarrassed and came hard into his boxers.

Frankly, you hadn’t even palmed him properly but he came anyway. You chuckled a little when you realised that. He hugged you so tightly afraid of letting go. You hugged him back, fondly massaging his back and helping him to calm down. When he was more or less alright he put your foreheads together and looked deeply into your eyes, still a bit embarrassed. He bit his lip. The usual habit when he got nervous and then he kissed you. Deeply. With such passion, you could feel his affection towards you. He was so needy and wanted you so badly words could not express how he felt then…

Out of a sudden, you heard Yoongi screaming as if there was some kind of an emergency or what not…

S: Y/N… where are you?! I came to hang that fucking painting for you!

Judging from his voice he must have been getting closer and closer to your room. You didn’t want to let one of your most mean assistants know that you had just jerked off Jungkook, so you quickly leaped to your feet leaving him with puppy eyes.

Y: Sure, coming!

Just before leaving the room you gave Jungkook a quick peck on his forehead and he flashed that gummy smile of his that had always made your stomach feel disturbingly warm.

Originally posted by bangtan-so-far


And this is how Jeon Jungkook got his very first and definitely not the last orgasm from you. 

Jealous Much? (Pietro x reader)

Good evening babes! I hope your Saturday went well. I love you all, and I’m sorry this weekend isn’t super filled with fics, but it’s a hectic family kind of holiday, so I’m doing my best to be as active as possible. Much love, xoxo

Request:  can you write a pietro imagine where he loves the reader but doesn’t show it so she brings someone else as her date to a party and eventually he gets so fed up that he picks her up and runs off and they have really rough dominant sex? by: Anon

Warnings: SMUT. Cursing. 

MASTERLIST


Tonight was one of Tony’s grand parties where all important and famous guests came to spend their Friday night. He had asked you to find a date, so that you wouldn’t be alone. Everyone else on the team had a date, well, besides Pietro. Honestly, you had a huge thing for him, but you always thought that he could never feel the same way. He was always so feisty, and it made it hard for you to read him. Was making snark remarks his way of flirting? Nobody knew, especially you. So, having no date within the circle of your fellow Avengers, you had asked one of your old friends if he would accompany you to the party. Luckily, he agreed. 

You slipped on a form fitting black dress with a low neck line, that showed just enough to catch the right person’s attention. Your hair fell effortlessly around your shoulders, brushing lightly against your arms. You met your date at the party, and as you walked across the room, you started catching people’s eyes. They stared at your curvy figure, the exposed parts of skin, and they were head over heels for the way you strutted. You kept mostly to yourself and your date, not wanting to draw attention to yourself. Well, the only person’s attention you wanted was Pietro’s, but you wouldn’t admit it. So, you talked it up with your good friend, bringing up old memories and cracking jokes with them. The two of you were really close, you guys were basically siblings. Naturally, you were more comfortable with them, and you would nonchalantly would drape your arm over them. To other people it would seem like you were a couple, but to you two, it meant nothing. 

But, oh, did it mean something to Pietro. He was drifting away from a conversation with Wanda as he stared daggers at you and your date. The way you put your arm around him, or whisper in his ear, got his blood boiling. Seeing you with him was making him jealous. He should be with one with you on his arm, whispering all the things he was going to do to you later. Yeah, okay, he didn’t ask you. But, it was out of pride. Pietro didn’t want everyone to think that he would just fall to his knees for you. 

At this time, you and Pietro were catching glances at each other, the tension between you two growing. He would slit his eyes at your date then quickly shift his gaze to yours. You would respond with a stoic glare, quietly wondering why he was acting meaner than usual. He was being sassy, and it was pissing you off. But God, did he look good in his suit. The dark blue contrasted against his alabaster skin so well, his bleach blonde hair complimenting the look. You wanted to tear it all off of him, and you were doing so in your mind, biting your lip at the thought. From across the room, Pietro was leaning against the bar, a growl erupting in his throat. He couldn’t take this anymore. You were being a little to friendly with your date for his liking. And seeing you bite your lip got him very aroused. 

“Get the fuck over here, princessa.” A low, raspy voice whispered in your ear, before zipping you off down the hall, leaving nothing but a blue streak in their wake. It all went by so fast, making you very disoriented when he stopped in his bedroom. 

“Pietro, what the fuck?” You furrowed your eyebrows at him, quite baffled at his actions. “I swear to g-” You were quickly cut off by his lips harshly colliding with yours. It was unexpected, but you quickly melted into his touch. You had wanted this for so long that nothing was going stop you now. 

“Stop talking to other men, F/N. I don’t like to share.” He pressed you up against a wall, whispering into your ear, then lightly biting your neck. You moaned, the sensation sending shivers down your spine. 

“Jealous much?” You mumbled under your breath, pressing your lips against his in a passionate kiss. Without saying another word, the two of you quickly tore each other’s clothes off and threw them onto the floor. 

“Fuck, F/N. I want to fuck you so bad.” He mumbled into your neck, sucking on your sweet spot. You already knew he was going to be leaving a bruise there. But, you didn’t mind. If he was marking you as his, then hell, let him do it. He roughly kneaded your breast with one hand, grabbing your ass with the other. You gasped as your nipples began to harden under his touch. He lifted you against the wall, and you wrapped your hips around his waist for leverage. Your bare core brushed against his stomach, earning a moan from him. With every movement, you could feel Pietro’s erection getting harder.

“Why the fuck didn’t you do this earlier?” You gritted through your teeth. Pleasure surged through your veins. Your eyes were dilated with pure lust for him. “If you wanted me all to yourself, you should have done something about it.” You met his gaze, receiving the same lustful look.

“Don’t question me. Piss me off more, and I’ll fuck you harder than anyone has ever before.” He ended with a slap to your ass, leaving a red handprint. You yelped, and he grinned at your reaction. When you couldn’t take the build up anymore, you clawed at his back, trying to lift yourself onto his cock.

“Eager, are we?” He smirked. Then his face turned stern and dominant. “You don’t get it till I say so, princessa.” You moaned. Your bare core was pulsing, and you were leaving your juices all over his toned abs.

“I swear to god…” You said in between moans. “Fuck me already, damn it.” The two of you were fighting for dominance, and both of you were relentless. This time, Pietro gave in, but he wasn’t nice about it.

“You asked for it.” He growled and lifted you up, then forcefully thrusting himself into you, bottoming out inside of you beating core. You screamed his name, painful pleasure erupting in your body. He gave you no time to adjust to his length and immediately pulled out almost all the way before plunging his cock back into you. You clawed at his back and tugged at his hair. He moaned your name, you tight core feeling so good around him.

“Pietro! Fuck… I-I’m almost…” You couldn’t even finish your sentence as you gasped for air, every thrust knocking the wind out of you. He smirked, glad he was getting you to your breaking point. Without warning, he used his speed to thrust in and out of you at mind blowing rates. You screamed out as he hit your g-spot what seemed like a million times.

“Fuck!” You moaned out and your body tensed, your orgasm rippling through your core. Pietro followed close behind, and you felt him twitch inside you, his movements becoming sloppy. He slowed down, rocking you through your euphoria. You felt his hot cum release inside you, then felt it dribble down your thighs. He bit your collarbone and you fell into him, exhausted and blissful. You were slumped against his body as he pulled out of you, then lifted you up into his arms bridal style, laying you in his bed. You eyelids were heavy, and your breathing was slow and deep. Pietro pulled the covers over both of your bodies, pulling you into him. As you fell asleep, you completely forgot your friend along with the party that was roaring downstairs.

You were fast asleep in minutes, and Pietro took the opportunity for his confession. His face softened, a different wave of emotions rippling through him.

“You’re mine, F/N. Never forget that. Because guess what? I’m in love with you.”


Good evening babes!! I hope you had a good Saturday. I got to spend my day with cute babies. Best. Saturday. Ever. Just a reminder that you’re all beautiful and I love you guys!! xoxo

ALL TAGLISTS ARE OPEN.

Taglist:

@barely-emily @purplekitten30 @mcfuccfairy @fandomlover2001 @elegantnightmareshiro @buckysplumfondler @arabellaaurorabarnes @imgettingmarriedtobuckybarnes @badassbaker @life-is-fuucked @elwenia

eliasraine  asked:

RE: your rant concerning how Dumbles is an abuser and complicit in abuse, so the proper response to "the world is not kind" is a loud and emphatic "blow that"?

I am a firm believer in the Pratchett “if not you then who” mindset.

If the world is cruel and unkind and people are suffering, and your response is to shrug, then you are complicit in those actions. You have sanctioned them through apathy and are subsequently part of the problem. (And I know sometimes we have our limits, I know we hit our exhaustion point, I know, I know, trust me I’ve been teetering at emotional breaking point for the last year over emotional burn out, but I am an adult in this world with choices and I can either choose to abide by what is and what should be, and I will always try to choose the latter even if all I can do that day is be kind to someone)

So when someone tells you the world is not kind in response to cruelty and to suck it up cause bad things happen, the correct response to that is a firm “yea, so what the fuck are you doing to help fix that”