Why the fuck do I miss him? And why the hell do I think of him everyday. He fucking ruined me. I could have had a normal childhood, he took that from me. But still I say that if I could turn back time, it would have been different. Things could have been perfect if I didn’t get wasted at that show or picked at him until he snapped that one day. But no. That’s not true. There is nothing I could have done to prevent what happened. That’s just who he was and it was going to happen sooner or later. I can’t blame anything regarding that relationship on my self. He broke me once and I’m just letting him break me again by thinking that way. I will not let that happen. I’m done getting pushed the fuck around. Things are going to be different now, with everyone.