excuse me your face

A lil sunshine in these scary times...

So, my friends and I are sitting in a Krispy Kreme just eating our donuts, chatting, whatevs. Out of the corner of my eye I see this country ass teenage boy walking up to us. Like, a Trump-supporter-looking dude with a country accent so thick that it was almost comical. Of course, my first thought is oh shit, he’s going to say something ignorant. Ya know, given that we’re sitting here in Columbus, MS and I have a pride flag painted on my face from an event earlier in the day. He approaches me and says, “Excuse me, but is that flag painted on your face meant to represent… you know…” 

“Gay people?” at this point in this interaction I was ready to throw hands so tbh my tone was more than a little bitchy. After I say this I see him hand me a piece of paper, and think it’s probably a pamphlet for a church or something so I can be “healed.” 

Then the biggest plot twist of my life happened. The piece of paper was a huge #gaypride sticker?? He said, “I wasn’t trying to be rude or anything. I made some of these for a friend and had an extra and I thought you might like it.” So that’s the story of how I thought I was going to have to fight a hick in a donut shop but ended up with a super gay sticker.

drabble: public thrills

so i was going over some stuff in my head last night and this idea just sort of came up so i figured i’d type up a kinda longer drabble/shorter story for you guys. maybe like a precursor to something more with this one. even though this is josh/reader/tyler it’s not part of hourglass. i just thought i’d give yall something fun.

Originally posted by raindun

You stand looking at the whips and handcuffs that lined the wall of the oversized sex shop, not impressed by anything you saw. You had lost Tyler and Josh somewhere by the vibrators, as they mentioned they were looking for something to get you for your birthday; you laughed it off, assuming they were just being their normal, teasing selves. But as you examine a pair of fuzzy pink handcuffs, you feel an arm snake around your waist, pulling you flush against a body with a very apparent erection.

Keep reading

Beautiful Stranger [Chapter 1]

Originally posted by jinyoung-ahh

Request by a wonderful anon! : “Hello can you please write a Jinyoung smut scenario :) it can be any plot you want. Thank you. Have a good day my dear <3″

^^ My original idea took me down a whole new path and I decided to turn it into a series. I hope you like it, my love!

Series Genre: AU/Smut/Fluff

Warnings: Adult content and language


Today was an extremely long day for you. Work was crazy lately as the current CEO had been forced out of the company for embezzling corporate funds. You and everyone else were pulling double time to compensate for the legal ramifications his actions had on the company. Plus, you were all going to be introduced to your new boss tomorrow so the level of stress in the office was high.

All you wanted to do was have a drink and unwind so you stopped off at the bar close to your apartment. You took a seat at the bar and ordered a drink.

You couldn’t help but feel as if you were being watched.

Keep reading

Sleep Well

As Cullen succumbs to fever, Prishe Lavellan stays by his side to nurse him and hears a few unexpected confessions. (1590 words) 

Prishe belongs to artsyneurotic


Prishe narrowed her eyes when Cullen swayed for the third time in the last hour. His skin was pale in the dim light and the shadows under his eyes made his face resemble a skull. Leliana’s report droned on as a buzz in her ears as Prishe watched him. He set a hand to his forehead, eyes closing for a moment.

“Commander?”

Cullen blinked, then looked around the table. “Yes, Inquisitor?”

“I—” She flushed when the other two women stared at her, a small crease in Leliana’s eyes marked her annoyance at being interrupted. “You look unwell.”

“I’m fine, Inquisitor.”

Josephine took a step towards the man. “Perhaps the Inquisitor is right, Commander. You do appear to be rather flushed.”

“I assure you, there’s nothing to be concerned over.” Cullen scowled. The anger in his expression was somewhat weakened when he suddenly gripped the table. “Just a little dizzy spell.”

Leliana scoffed and folded her arms with that same smug smile she always wore when she knew a secret. “This ‘dizzy spell’ of yours has been with you since you returned from the Fallow Mire.”

“And you didn’t say anything?” Prishe rounded on the spymaster.

“What? It’s none of my affair if the Commander wishes to be stubborn.”

“Maker’s breath,” Cullen muttered. “Could we please drop this?”

Prishe walked around the edge of the war table. Cullen’s cheeks went pink as he turned away. “I order you to bed rest.”

“What?!”

“Three days. You’re to sleep, eat, and relax. Nothing else.”

“And what of my duties? I have reports to finish, recruits to train!”

“They can wait,” Prishe said. “You can’t.”

Cullen opened his mouth. He paused then gave in with a sigh. “Very well, Inquisitor. But only for one day.”

Prishe hid her smile with a firm nod. Of course he’d bargain over his own health. “Go to it, Commander. I expect Leliana to tell me of all the rest you’re getting tonight.”

Cullen’s lips tugged up at the corners. He gave a stiff bow to the other women before leaving the room.

“Now,” Leliana said, “about the resources we’ve discovered in the Hissing Wastes. I believe that—”

A loud crash came from the hall outside.

“Cullen?” Prishe ran to the door. “Cullen!”

He lay crumpled in a heap, his breathing shallow and harsh. She fell to her knees at his side, her fingers going to his neck. His pulse thrummed under her touch and when Prishe rolled him onto his back, his eyes moved around in an unfocused haze.

“Cullen, can you hear me?”


Keep reading

i was drawn to tjlc because i felt like there was more to this show under the surface and i wanted a critical think about it, and tjlc presented evidence. people behind tjlc did their homework. they fact-checked and adjusted their hypotheses when something didn’t quite make sense. i have yet to see another group put as much hard work into reading and understanding this show so like excuse me if i just want to laugh in your fucking face when you come at us with links to WIKIPEDIA ARTICLES ??? lmao

2

Word count: 671

You’re done with the initiates for today and plan to dance a little before going back to your apartment. But just when you get to the Pit, Eric stands on your way. Your friends offer you a sad smile, leaving you to deal with Eric alone. You stare at the man, way much taller than you, with an amused smirk on his face.

“Busted.”

“Excuse me, lovely leader.” You sigh, rolling your eyes. “What the hell are you talking about?”

“You gave beer to the initiates yesterday night. It’s forbidden.”

“I didn’t do it.” You lie, trying to walk past him, but he grabs your arm, dragging you God knows where.

“I can’t keep covering you, (Y/N)!” You both stop on a dark corner, not a single soul walking by. “If Max finds out you will be punished.”

“They needed a little fun! Our initiation beat the shit out of them.” You were always too kind, different from Eric. The initiates love you, and you enjoy wasting time with them after training. You’ve made a lot of new friends.

“They can have fun once they’re Dauntless members. Did you understand?” Eric whispers in your ear, and you use all your strength to push him away.

“I’m sorry, dear, I can’t hear you.” You smile. Being sassy with Eric is dangerous. The last time you did something this, you had a very long night in his apartment. Of course, you had fun too, but on the next day you could barely stand up straight.

“You should be thankful. I could just tell Max and you would never train the initiates again.” Eric presses you to the wall, breathing on your face. It would be a great idea to make him mad.

“Good thing I have my hero to keep saving my ass.” You touch his neck tattoos, using your sexy voice.

“I’m done saving this pretty little ass. It’s time for you to put it on my bed.” He pulls your hand, leading you to his apartment. But it’s way too easy. You don’t like it easy.

“No. I should put my ass on Four’s bed. I bet he wouldn’t get tired of saving me.” You hiss, giving a step back.

Eric turns to you, starting to get really angry with you. “Don’t say it again. Never.”

“I have this theory that he may be… bigger than you…” You giggle, moving away from him into the empty hall. Eric’s breath gets heavier as he slowly walks to you. “I should start running, shouldn’t I?” And that’s exactly what you do.

The footsteps behind you are loud. He’s near. You run through those empty corridors so nobody will see you acting like crazy teenagers. Laughing too loud, you manage to keep distance, but you get tired, being forced to run to an alley to catch your breath. Eric is close, but you keep silent hoping to deceive him. But it’s useless. He suddenly grabs your waist, out of nowhere, pressing his lips to yours.

“God, Eric. I always have so much fun with you. We can be stupid teenagers running like crazy and having sex. I like to be with you.” You say, before noticing what you just said. You love Eric but tried not to let him know that. The two of you had fun, that’s enough to him and should be enough to you. “Sorry.” You sigh, looking down to your feet.

“What are you sorry for? You’re absolutely right. The best part of my day is whenever I’m with you.” Eric rubs your cheek delicately, something rare.

“I know.”

“Why aren’t we dating already?”

Your heart stops. Then you jump into his arms, your legs around his waist. Eric gives a step back, a beautiful smile on his lips.

“We’re dating from now on. It’s that ok?” You ask, staring his icy blue eyes. You couldn’t be happier.

“Yes, babe. Now let’s go to my apartment. We need to celebrate. ”

“My ass on your bed?”

“Only on my bed.”


A/N: Sorry for any grammar mistakes, English isn’t my first language.

  • Me about my best friends: lmao look at these stupid slutty trash cans I will fight them all
  • Someone else: yeah they're kinda silly
  • Me: excuSE YOUR RUDE FUCKING FACE HOW FUCKING DARE YOU SAY THINGS LIKE THAT ABOUT MY PRECIOUS ANGELS I WILL SLAUGHTER YOUR ENTIRE FAMILY
  • Me: *happily posting about my otp*
  • Person: omg stop shoving your ships down my throat
  • Me: *slowly turns my head with a annoyed smile* Excuse me?
  • Person: you are shoving your ship in my face just because they had one fucking moment. It doesn't mean anything.
  • Me: I am going to continue posting my otp and minding my own business and I hope you take my advice and go fuck yourself.
Little Lennier’s first morning in North Carolina

After a long day of flying yesterday, Little Lennier slept in.  Then we had a breakfast of Whole Wheat Eggos with Nutella (my personal favorite), and tea, which is an important part of every balanced Minbari breakfast.

After breakfast, Lennier met the locals.  “Excuse me…um, excuse me…why are you rubbing your face on my boots?”  It’s okay, Lennier, Leigh Adama is just making friends.

“You are a cat who understands that politeness is a virtue, unlike the last one.  I like you.”  Kiara has a special affinity for plastic creatures, as I found out when we introduced her to model horses.

“By Valen, you are quite large and fluffy, Jadzia.  Did you know there is a character named Jadzia on a television show where all of the characters live together on a space station!  It’s like they made a television show based on my life!”  (Should I tell him?)

Colby is a very calm cat, and Lennier was so exhausted from meeting the locals (and from jet lag) that he fell right to sleep against her soft fur.  Aww.

I was telling jenniferstolzer a bit about the model horse hobby the other day, so I decided to introduce Little Lennier to a few members of my collection and show a size comparison.  I’d say Little Lennier is about 1/14 scale?  (14 Little Lennier faces to one Mumy face?  Lol.)  All of the model horse molds shown here are Breyers.  “Shim Sham Shimmy” is an Original Finish Stablemate (1/32 scale).  Little Lennier says “I might be little, but this horse is even littler!”

“Loki” was a commission repaint of a Classics (1/12) Breyer.  “You are much closer to being the correct size for me.  If I had articulated knees and a robe that was not made of hard plastic, I could ride you!  I’ve never ridden a horse before, but I have ridden a motorcycle.  Is it very different?”  (Yes, Little Lennier.  It is.)

“Song For A Winter’s Night” is a custom repaint of a Traditional (1/9) Breyer model.  He is one of my favorites in my whole collection.  I coveted him for years before I received him in a partial trade.  I still can’t believe I own this horse.  “This horse is quite large!  I am afraid it might trample me.  I am going to go stand over there, if that is all right…”  (Jadzia photobomb!)

Now I’m just being silly.  “Help me, I’m drowning in floof!”

If I met a favorite fictional character irl
  • Person: hello, how are-
  • Me: my child
  • Me: come to me
  • Person: excuse me?
  • Me: let me squish your face
  • Person: ???? Um pls stop
  • Me: I am your mother now