excuse me you're a hell of a guy

GOSSIP GIRL SENTENCE MEME.
  • "You had someone who loved you unconditionally."
  • "I'm sorry I gave up on us when you never did."
  • "Can I kiss you before I kill you?"
  • "Every time I try to move on, you're right there."
  • "I'm not a stop along the way, I'm a destination."
  • "Happiness does not seem to be on the menu."
  • "You're not hot enough to be a high school cheerleader."
  • "Excuse me if I don't fall for that, or you, ever again."
  • "I'd ask how you are, but I really don't care."
  • "You're completely unaware of your affect on me."
  • "Who the hell is he not to want you?"
  • "When are you gonna ask me on a real date?"
  • "I'm gonna need another drink to forget I just heard that."
  • "You'd really go out with some guy you don't know?"
  • "I look forward to never seeing you again."
  • "You have no idea who you're dealing with."
  • "I'm glad that she's so fun and I'm sorry that I'm not."
  • "A little bit of danger is what makes life worth living."
  • "How would I ever believe anything you say again?"
  • "Isn't there someone else you can torture?"
  • "Do yourself a favor and stop talking right now."
  • "Take a Xanax or a tequila shot or something."
  • "Maybe I am a total bitch, did you ever think about that?"
  • "Let me say, for the record, I like you. You and only you."
  • "There's a reason I always come back to you."
  • "I'm happy for you. I'm gonna go vomit now."
The Librarians sentence meme
  • "I was supposed to die."
  • "I don't believe in fate."
  • "She will die for you. No matter how much you don't want her to. Never forget that."
  • "I want that now!"
  • "I choose to save the world."
  • "If I met myself, would I explode?"
  • "I need a pen."
  • "Nope! No, no, no, no, no, no!"
  • "Mosquito tone. It's a high pitched sound that only young people can hear. No offense."
  • "You stayed to run the family company. That's a good reason."
  • "It's an excuse."
  • "Okay, I see enough psychedelic visions on my own. So, no thank you."
  • "UFOs do not exist."
  • "Says the guy with the teleporting door."
  • "You're planning on selling out the human race, aren't you?"
  • "This is exactly the point in the movie where the guy in the audience says, 'get the hell out!'"
  • "You're very weird librarians."
  • "It's a very weird library."
  • "This is me ignoring you. Get used to it."
  • "Who are you people?"
  • "Librarians. We're the Librarians."
  • "Do not fear the villain. Fear the hero."
  • "And trust me, if you don't learn how to win the war instead of just fighting the battles, none of us will survive."
  • "Magic's real?"
  • "Magic's real."
  • "Someone turned a magic spell into an app."
  • "Reality. It's the shared narrative we agree to believe."
  • "That is more than I ever wanted to see of any elected official."
  • "Okay. So we have to get a sample and a picture... and not die."
  • "Do not antagonize the local law enforcement."
  • "But it's so much fun!"
  • "Little criticism. Since I've been back, the librarians seem kind of evil."
  • "It's smarter to be lucky than lucky to be smart."
  • "Do you have any idea what's down there?"
  • "Nope. That's the best part."
  • "I love this job."
  • "A giant winged fire-breathing dragon is coming here?!"
  • "Somebody jacked Santa's ride."
  • "Architecture is just art we live in. Why doesn't anybody get that?"
  • "Mrs. Clause is real?!"
  • "Oh, shiny balls, yes!"
  • "Christmas is cancelled."
  • "Well maybe the term you're looking for, is 'partners.'"
  • "So, annoying or cryptic. Those are your two speeds, huh?"
  • "Good luck finding 14 virgins these days."
  • "We found something weird too."
  • "I found a room full of really old art."
  • "We found a room full of human skulls!"
  • "What do you mean, human skulls?"
  • "How many ways can I mean human skulls?!"
  • "Okay, new rule. How about we not refer to the tumor that will one day kill me as a 'brain-grape.'"
  • "I'm here to do science and math; and sometimes, hallucinate."
  • "I'm offering you a life of mystery, of misery, of loneliness, and adventure. More than that, I'm offering you the opportunity to make a difference and to save the world every week. Twice before Friday. Are you in?"
  • "Oh, impossible - pipsyposh, pipsyposh! People keep saying that as though we don't eat the impossible for breakfast every day."
  • "I was really expecting a better secret door."
  • "I'm gonna be dead tomorrow."
  • "So, how would they want you to spend your last day?"
  • "They'd want me to save the world one last time."
  • "Your brain is a weapon, and a tool, and a library all wrapped in one."
  • "Vampires are real. But Dracula is not. Because I killed him."
  • "There ain't nothin' amateur about my bar fighting, sweetheart."
  • "When I do math, I smell things. Mostly breakfast."
  • "You call Excalibur, 'Cal'?"
  • "We're friends. Best friends. Besties, really."
  • "How did you know all that?"
  • "I'm the Librarian."
"american beauty" sentence starters
  • "I guess I could be pretty pissed off about what happened to me... but it's hard to stay mad, when there's so much beauty in the world."
  • "Well, you have absolutely no interest in saving yourself."
  • "Lose my job? I didn't lose it. It's not like, 'Whoops! Where'd my job go?' I QUIT."
  • "I figured you guys might be able to give me some pointers. I need to shape up. Fast."
  • "You're right. I suck dick for money."
  • "Well, what do you say I throw in a little sexual harassment charge, to boot?"
  • "Management wants you gone by the end of the day."
  • "Your father seems to think this kind of behavior is something to be proud of."
  • "It's like God's looking right at you, just for a second, and if you're careful... you can look right back."
  • "When I was your age, I flipped burgers all summer just to be able to buy an eight-track."
  • "All I did was party and get laid. I had my whole life ahead of me."
  • "I rule!"
  • "She's not your friend. She's just someone you use to feel better about yourself."
  • "It's never too late to get it back."
  • "I have lost something. I'm not exactly sure what it is but I know I didn't always feel this... sedated."
  • "You think you're the only one who's sexually frustrated here?"
  • "Both my wife/husband and daughter/son think I'm this gigantic loser and they're right."
  • "I'm looking for the least possible amount of responsibility."
  • "You should see me fuck. I'm the best piece of ass in three States."
  • "Can you prove that you didn't offer to save my job if I let you blow me?"
  • "Are you just looking to lose weight, or do you want increased strength and flexibility as well?"
  • "I don't think we can be friends anymore."
  • "Just don't fuck my dad, all right? Please?"
  • "You're way too uptight about sex."
  • "I want to look good naked!"
  • "Someone really should just put him out of his misery."
  • "I'm not paying you to do... whatever it is you're doing out here."
  • "You don't really think [name] and I were..."
  • "Want me to kill him for you?"
  • "I need a father who's a role model, not some horny geek-boy who's gonna spray his shorts whenever I bring a girlfriend home from school."
  • "I quit. So you don't have to pay me. Now leave me alone."
  • "Remember those posters that said, 'Today is the first day of the rest of your life'? Well, that's true of every day but one - the day you die."
  • "She hates me. She hates you, too."
  • "There's plenty of joy in my life."
  • "Go fuck yourself, psycho!"
  • "My parents are coming tonight. They're trying to, you know, take an active interest in me."
  • "Gross. I hate it when my mom does that."
  • "Fuck me, Your Majesty!"
  • "I was hoping you'd give me a bath. I'm very, very dirty."
  • "You ungrateful little brat! Just look at everything you have."
  • "I'm so sorry for the way things look around here."
  • "I think using psychotropic drugs is a very positive example to set for our daughter."
  • "Who are you looking for?"
  • "This isn't life, it's just stuff. And it's become more important to you than living."
  • "There's nothing worse than being ordinary."
  • "Everything that's meant to happen does."
  • "You're one to talk, you bloodless, money-grubbing freak."
  • "Welcome to America's weirdest home videos."
  • "Oh well, all right, let's all sell our souls and work for Satan because it's more convenient that way."
  • "I'm sensing a real distance growing between you and [name]."
  • "My job consists of basically masking my contempt for the assholes in charge, and, at least once a day, retiring to the men's room so I can jerk off while I fantasize about a life that doesn't so closely resemble Hell."
  • "Don't you mess with me, mister, or I'll divorce you so fast it'll make your head spin!"
  • "Your mom's the one who's embarrassing. What a phony. But, your dad's actually kind of cute."
  • "If he just worked out a little, he'd be hot."
  • "You don't get to tell me what to do ever again."
  • "I'm serious. He just pulled down his pants and yanked it out."
  • "Never underestimate the power of denial."
  • "Are you trying to look unattractive today?"
  • "How dare you speak to me that way in front of her."
  • "Jesus, what is it with you?"
  • "I am sick and tired of being treated like I don't exist."
  • "Sometimes there's so much beauty in the world, I feel like I can't take it, and my heart is just going to cave in."
  • "See the way the handle on her pruning shears matches her gardening clogs? That's not an accident."
  • "Don't interrupt me, honey!"
  • "[Name]'s a pretty typical teenager. Angry, insecure, confused. I wish I could tell her that's all going to pass, but I don't want to lie to her."
  • "I had always heard your entire life flashes in front of your eyes the second before you die."
  • "You better watch yourself, [name], or you're going to turn into a real bitch, just like your mother!"
  • "I marvel that you can be so contemptuous of me, on the same day that you lose your job."
  • "You're boring. And you're totally ordinary. And you know it."
  • "You have no idea what I'm talking about, I'm sure. But don't worry... you will someday."
  • "Uh, whose car is that out front?"
  • "Your mother seems to prefer that I go through life like a fucking prisoner while she keeps my dick in a mason jar under the sink."
  • "In order to be successful, one must project an image of success at all times."
  • "She's... she's really happy. She thinks she's in love."
  • "I think you just became my personal hero!"
  • "Man, you are one twisted fuck."
  • "The only way I could save myself now is if I start firebombing."
  • "You know, this really doesn't concern you."
  • "I mean, how's her life? Is she happy? Is she miserable?"
  • "I'd really like to know, and she'd die before she'd ever tell me about it."
  • "Your wife is with another man and you don't care?"
  • "It's a great thing when you realize you still have the ability to surprise yourself."
  • "In less than a year, I'll be dead."
  • "[Name], today I quit my job. And then I told my boss to go fuck himself, and then I blackmailed him for almost sixty thousand dollars. Pass the asparagus."
  • "I wish I could tell her that's all going to pass, but I don't want to lie to her."
  • "We've met before, but something tells me you're going to remember me this time."
  • "I can't believe you don't know how beautiful you are."
  • "Well, at least I'm not ugly."
  • "This will be the high point of my day; it's all downhill from here."
  • "[Name], are you masturbating?!"
  • "If people I don't even know look at me and want to fuck me, it means I really have a shot at being a model."
  • "In a way, I'm dead already."
  • "You are so busted."
  • "I feel like I've been in a coma for the past twenty years. And I'm just now waking up."
  • "Well, congratulations. You've succeeded admirably."
  • "The car I've always wanted and now I have it."
  • "God, it's been a long time since anybody asked me that..."
  • "Makes you wonder what else you can do that you've forgotten about."
  • "I'm just an ordinary guy with nothing to lose."
  • "Our marriage is just for show. A commercial for how normal we are when we're anything but."
  • "It would be nice if I was anywhere near as important to him as she is."
  • "Gotta spend money to make money."
  • "I refuse to be a victim!"
  • "I was filming this dead bird."
  • "Do you party?"
  • "Oh, what? You're mother of the year? You treat her/him like an employee."
  • "Could he be any more pathetic?"
  • "I think it's sweet."
  • "You need structure... you need discipline."
  • "He's just so confident, it can't be real."
  • "So, you're fucking psycho-boy on a regular basis now? Tell me, has he got a big dick?"
  • "He didn't even look at me once!"
  • "I don't think you'd fit in here."
  • "It seems unfair to presume I won't be able to learn."
  • "Excuse me for speaking so bluntly, sir."
  • "Oh, I'm in trouble."
  • "I didn't mean to scare you. I just think you're interesting."
  • "This country is going straight to hell!"
  • "[Name], when did you become so joyless?"
  • "I'm not obsessing. I'm just curious."
  • "What is this? The fucking Gay Pride parade?"
  • "Sorry about my dad."
  • "To you, he's just another guy who wants to jump your bones."
  • "This is my first time."

My Dearest Commander, 

I was deeply distressed when I first read your letter and I believe I’ve come up with the perfect solution: my room has no holes in the ceiling and therefor no cold draft to keep you up at night. It also has a rather large bed that could easily fit another person (provided he doesn’t wear his armor all the time).
A ‘stunningly beautiful woman’ is, I’m afraid, nowhere to be found in my chambers, but if I am sufficient enough for the role, you’ll find me waiting there before the day is out. However, I feel I must warn you that my bed can be very warm. I would advise you to leave the majority of your layers behind. A simple undershirt and breeches will work. Something easily removed is best. 
I’ll be with you soon. 

All my love, 
Sara

anonymous asked:

"you absolutely disgusting excuse for a human being." annddddd it's okay to call people this, just not their wrong gender, guyS!!! in no circumstances!!! UGHHHH!!! EDUCATE YOSELVESSS!!! DUHHHH!!!

someone told me i should kill myself that’s literally perfectly valid grounds for being called a disgusting excuse for a human being

you’ve sent like eleven messages whining and crying about being told not to purposefully misgender a person and tbh you’re kind of acting like a huge baby about all this like seriously. it’s wrong and gross to purposefully misgender someone, get over yourself.