excuse me while i go sob over how utterly broke i am

Not Enough And Everything (repost)

A/N: Hello wonderful people! So I realized that the original version of this did not make sense… .and I apologize. I don’t think a lot of people read it anyway, but if you did, I’m very sorry. Anyway I fixed it, so hopefully it reads better and makes more sense now. As always I hope you enjoy and that you all have marvelous days! Thank you for reading!
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Part One: Downfall

You can’t believe this is happening. Your biggest fear has become a reality. Alex, the person you love most, the one you adore more than anything, he’s been cheating on you for over two months with his co-worker, Kimberly. Apparently they had to stay late for a case and ….one thing led to another for over two months. Oh and how did you find out?

One night after talking to Alex on the phone and having him tell you about this monster of a case he was chosen for and that he’d more than likely be working all night, you decide to take him something to eat and maybe offer some moral support by his side as he worked. Little did you know that when you opened the door to his office, that you would find him and Kimberly getting very hot and heavy on his office couch.

There they were, her straddling his lap on the couch, with his hands on her ass. He stopped as soon as he heard your gasp, and the container of food you dropped hit the floor. Your hand went to your mouth, as you simultaneously tried not to cry and remember how to breathe. They separated immediately, she was pulling down her skirt and trying to button up your blouse, while he was trying to zip up his pants.

“(Y/N), this isn’t what it looks like, I mean-,” he tries to explain scrambling for some sort of excuse. Your breathing is shallow as you try to make sense of scene before you, you look at him in his disheveled state and can’t hold in the anger and hurt in your heart.

“Not what it looks like? What the hell was that then? A vital part of your monster case?!” you exclaim feeling more betrayed by the second. Kimberly chooses this moment to leave as quietly as possible, you turn to her with a glare as she slips out the door. You turn back to Alex, rage and hurt in your eyes.

“This whole thing is a mistake. Babe I -,” he tries again, you shake your head. As he approaches you, you take a step back towards the direction of his desk, and he abruptly stops. He looks slightly panicked you’ve never not wanted to be close to him, but then again he had never betrayed you until now.

“How long has this been going on,” you cut him off. He looks at you with lost wide eyes not knowing where to start or what to say.
“What-,” is his only reply before you repeat yourself louder this time.

“HOW LONG HAS THIS BEEN GOING ON?!” Your eyes shutting, fists clenching at your sides, for just a moment trying to contain your tears, before you open them and stare him directly in the eyes.

“Maybe a month or two?” he replies hesitantly. Trying to step towards you once more leading you to stand behind the desk, not wanting him near you. You grip the back of his chair.

“Two months….!”, you whisper shout, your hand going to your chest, all the air leaving your lungs. You close your eyes and sit in his chair, still trying to keep your tears at bay, and control all your emotions at once. Your hands cradle your head as the information swirls around in your head.

“I know this seems bad, but –,” he begins, moving closer to you while you’re distracted, but before he can get too close. As he reaches the side of the desk, your eyes snap open and you cut him off once more too hurt and angry to be patient and listen to his excuses.

“No Alexander, this doesn’t seem bad, it is bad. I can’t believe you would do this to me! We’ve been together for three years! Three years! After everything we’ve been through…” you pause and take a shuddering breath, “am I really that boring to you now..?” your mind starts racing with all your insecurities and the one screaming the loudest in your mind is your greatest fear of not being enough, never being enough for him.

“No, of course not! (Y/N), I love you -,” he tries to soothe your worries, rushing to your side, down on his knees in front of you, but it’s too late they’ve settled in you.

“Do you?”, you question, doubt and heartache filling you up, as you shy away from him. “I knew it, I knew this would happen, I knew my time with you was running out, but I thought you really loved me, I thought that this could work…” you trail off your tears falling now, not able to hold them back any longer.

“It can work, it does!” he cuts off your rambling, and as he reaches for you, you cringe away the pain inside you telling you to runaway from this. You abruptly stand from the chair and back away towards the door looking to your escape from the heartache, betrayal, and doubt that has now filled you completely. Alexander stares at you, eyes beginning to widen with panic.

“No,” you whisper almost to yourself, shaking your head, disagreeing. Alex is still kneeled by the chair looking at you with pain and shame of his own. “This can’t work,” you continue, “you’ve just proven that.” You state, just steps away from the door. “I can’t do this,…” you whisper once more as he jumps from his position, “I won’t do this,” and you reach for the door knob and run to the elevator, hearing him shout your name, begging you not to go, before the doors close. As soon as you reach the lobby you run to the parking lot, trying to make it to your car before he caught you by the arm.

“Wait, (Y/N) please,” he says holding onto your arm, tears of his own filling his eyes.

“No, Alexander,” you say tears rolling down your cheeks. You rip arm out of his grasp, “you don’t get act like you’re the one that’s hurt when you decided to fuck someone else without thinking about what it might do to us.” You unlock your car, hand on the handle of the door as you look at him, “you don’t get to make me feel sorry for you.” You open the door and slide into your car, pulling out of the parking lot, running away from the man you have loved more than anything, the man who just broke your heart, and turned your world upside down.

Alex is left in the parking lot staring after you car as you speed away, feeling the ache in his chest growing as you drive further away. He grips his hair and screams into the empty parking lot, as he realizes what he’s done.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *

You decide to head to the Schuylers apartment knowing that at least Maria and Eliza would be there on a Friday night. Peggy and Angie usually worked late. When you knock on the door you are greeted with a laughing Maria, but as soon as she sees you her face falls, which causes Eliza to approach from her seat on the couch. She looks over Marias shoulder and as soon as she sees your tear stained face and red eyes, she pulls you into the apartment and into a hug at once.

You fall into her and cry once more. Maria looks at you both with worried eyes, placing a hand on your back, as body shaking sobs rake through you, and Eliza holds you up. They lead you to the couch, while Eliza comforts you, your head on her shoulder, clutching onto her. Maria gets you a glass of water. She hands you the water and gingerly prompts you take a few sips. Once you’ve calmed a bit. They exchange a glance.

“What happened, hon?” Eliza asks you, her arm still around your shoulders while Maria sits on the coffee table in front of you and takes your left hand.

You take a breath before you reply. “I walked in on Alex and another girl nearly going at it…..”, you go on and explain the whole ordeal to them, trying not to break down again.
Eliza looks at you with sympathy, worry, and sadness for your situation, while Maria looks utterly pissed off.

“How dare he?! After everything you both have been through together! I can’t believe this!”, she says in pure frustration. “He gets jealous if a guy stares at you the wrong way, but he can go sleep with someone else?!”
Eliza grabs Marias hand and looks at her in warning, shaking her head, silently telling her not to do this right now. Maria sighs and looks to you “I’m sorry (Y/N), it’s just you deserve so much better, you didn’t deserve this.” You nod your head and pat her hand in forgiveness, even though she didn’t need to apologize. Both girls hug you on each side trying to give you some comfort from the pain. You eyes become watery as you think of Alex, this time the tears taking you into a deep sleep…….

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~

Alex POV

What have I done? What the hell is wrong with me? Why? Why did I do this? She’s gone. She ran out, she left with tears and heartbreak in her eyes. Hurt and pain that I caused. He paces back and forth, his hands gripping his hair. He drove home to see if he could catch you, but when he arrived you were no where to be found. He picks up his phone and tries to reach you, even though he knows you probably don’t want to hear from him.

He tries to call you, but it goes to voice mail everytime. He tries texting you, still nothing. You either turned your phone off, or you’re just ignoring him. But what if she got in a car accident because she was so distraught? He thinks, Oh God! Please! Don’t let anything happen to her, she’s my everything…she’s my entire world.

I can’t just give her up. I can get into my car and go look for her, but she’ll probably just avoid me anyway…..there has to be someway to reach her….ELIZA! He realizes that if you went anywhere besides home it would be to the Schuylers. He dials Eliza’s number as the phone rings, praying that he gets an answer.

~ * ~ *~ *~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *~

Once you had fallen asleep the girls gently laid you on the couch, covered you with a blanket and tucked a pillow under your head. They moved to one of the bedrooms to talk, so they didn’t wake you.

“I can’t believe Alex did this to (Y/N). She’s the best thing that ever happened to him, and he wants to throw their relationship out the window for a piece of ass?!”, Maria whisper shouted.

“Darling, calm down. I agree that Alex has acted foolishly in regards to (Y/N), but he’s called her about 46 times already. Not to mention us about 20. Shouldn’t we at least let him know she’s safe?”, Eliza tries to reason with her outraged girlfriend, although she’s just as upset with Alexander. She feels it’s the right thing to do.

“No. Let him feel guilty. He deserves it.”, Maria replies with out a moments hesitation, arms folded across her chest. Eliza responds with a simple look that says ‘it’s the right thing to do’. Maria let’s out a sigh, throwing her hands in the air, “Fine, but don’t call him,” raising a finger at her good hearted girlfriend in warning. “Call the boys and tell them to go check on him and make sure he doesn’t do anything else stupid, no details babe, let him tell them what he did. If she had to relive it so does he.” She folds her arms in finality. Eliza nods in agreement and calls John.

“John, it’s Liza. You need to go check on Alex……no he’s not hurt..”, yet, she thinks, “look something happened between him and (Y/N) and I just want to make sure he doesn’t do something reckless, so you boys better go check on him………just ask him to tell you….okay? Alright, talk to you later John.” She hangs up the phone and gives Maria a nod and a sigh, then decides to call Angelica and Peggy, who you weren’t home yet, and fill them in on the situation. Both women were far from pleased and made it home as fast as possible to try and console their friend in her time of need.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~

John was worried and confused. What could’ve happened between the two of you? You were one of the happiest couples he knew and more than that, you were best friends before you even started dating. You were the only woman he thought could put up with Alex, and he knew Alex loved you more than anything. So, when Eliza called him and told him to gather the boys and go check on him, John was more than a little worried.

“Eliza didn’t tell you anything?”, Laf said, driving towards your and Alex’s apartment, just as worried as John was.
“All she said was that something happened between Alex and (Y/N), and that we needed to check on him to make sure he didn’t do anything stupid.” John sighs from the passenger seat, growing more anxious about the situation with each passing minute.

“I’m sure they just got into an argument and we need to calm the situation on his end,” Hercules says from the backseat. “Regardless, it won’t help if we all get worked up before we even know anything,” He says, always the voice of reason, although he was just as worried as his other friends. He knew the two of you never had an argument you couldn’t resolve yourselves, but there’s a first time for everything right?

As they pull up to the apartment, they all give each other a look and hop out of the car. John is the first one to walk in, followed by Lafayette and Hercules. Immediately they see objects thrown about and see Alex coming from the bedroom mumbling to himself.

“Alex?”, John calls to him, announcing their presence. Alex’s head snaps up his eyes are wild and his hair is a mess, he’s been running his fingers through it and pulling on it. His attire looks just as ragged.

“She left her clothes, her toothbrush, her favorite slippers, the down feather blanket I got hee for christmas. All hee stuff is here, she has to comeback.” He says mostly to himself, continuing his pacing. He stops to look at his ftiends, “Even if it is just to pick up her stuff, she has to comeback, right?”, he asks eyes still wild. “I’ll have a chance to explain myself, she won’t answer my calls or texts, but she has to comeback, she has to….”, he mumbles as he trails off.

All three boys share a concerned look before John asks, “Alex, what happened?”, and none of the boys had ever seen Alex look so devastated as they did in that moment.

They saw tears form in his eyes as he gripped his hair in his hands, fell to his knees, his head in hands, and simply said, “I broke her heart,” he looked up at his friends and confessed, “I’ve been cheating on (Y/N) for two months, and she walked in on me and a coworker, and I’ve hurt the most beautiful thing in my life, the most precious person to me, and for WHAT?!”

Johns brow furrows as he thinks about what coworker, he could be talking about, as it hits him. “Alexander, please tell me you haven’t been sleeping with Kimberly,” he looks at his friend to deny what he just said.

Alex just looks at John in defeat as he hangs his head, “I fucked up, big time, and God knows I don’t deserve her, but I swear, I will get her back and treat her the way she deserves.” He looks up at the ceiling, “I will endeavor to be worthy of her.” He rises to his feet, talking mostly to himself once more, “I will give her the world even if she decides to hate me for the rest of her life.” New determination burns in his eyes as he continues, “I will love her as long as I live, and probably long after.”

The boys stand in shock, not knowing what to say. They were disappointed in their friend, Laf looked down at his friend, “Mon ami, why would you do this?” he asks genuinely confused by Alexander’s actions. Alex looks up at Laf, eyes red.

“I don’t know,” he says looking down, “because she was there, and I could, I don’t know, because I’m a shit, I don’t fucking know,” he stares up at Laf again, “I honestly don’t fucking know, and I’ve messed up the best thing that’s ever happened to me.” Lafayette gives a nod and goes to stand next to him, placing a hand on his shoulder. John and Hercules share a look and join their friends, and both give Alex a reassuring pat. Alex looks at each of them before silent tears fall down his face, he had to get you back, he had to….

First part: http://mafiabosstsuna.tumblr.com/post/151020010028/this-is-sent-in-by-the-lovely-kaladork-a From the amazing @kaladork

The people asked and so they shall receive! I had quite a few requests for a sequel. But seriously, I would like to apologize that this took so long to get out. Aside from the usual excuses, I was finishing my final project for my Bachelor’s Degree and getting ready for my internship (Yay!). So here it is! The sequel to A Beautiful Almost! To be completely honest, there’s a whole heck of a lot less angst (I don’t know if you could call it angst) because I’m a smooshy, mushy sap at heart and have a weakness for happy endings. Also, it’s quite long, so I apologize for that as well. Hope you like it! ❤

She locked the doorknob.

And the deadbolt.

And the slidelock.

And the other deadbolt.

She kicked her shoes off and dropped her purse by the door.

Then she dropped onto a couch with a muffled thud, determined to sleep for the next twelve hours.

Bless Sundays.

Bless her day off.

Bless the sweet bliss of darkness that awaited her.

‘It’s funny,’ she thought, ‘how darkness can be so wonderfully comforting and so utterly terrifying depending on context.’

She began to cry.

Thick tears ran down her cheeks and her back shook with the nearly silent sobs that tore through her already drained body. It felt like each tear was emptying her, drawing on a reserve that wasn’t there.

It wasn’t because she missed her soulmate.

That wasn’t it.

Not this time.

This time her heart was breaking for someone else.

“I didn’t want this for you.”

With a scream of terror and surprise, she whipped her hand gun out of the holster on her thigh while flipping off the safety, rolling off the couch, and pointing it at the unknown intruder.

She’d be damned if she was going to be murdered in her own damn apartment.

“Well, this is new.”

The voice hung in the dark, smooth and amused.

She could barely hear it over the beating of her heart.

“Ts-tsuna?” she asked, breathless with fear and disbelief.

A rustle sounded.

“Don’t move!” she yelped.

The rustling stopped.

She moved to the light switch, flicking the lamp on and returning her hand immediately to the gun.

Her hard, blue eyes met Tsuna’s amber, narrowed and watching her attentively.

“You know how to use that,” he observed, nodding toward the firearm.

“Yet, you’re not scared.” She glared at Tsuna, speaking slowly.

Tsuna sauntered forward, steps smooth and lithe. His eyes flared in color, but the lids dropped; his handsome features reflected the change in attitude. The smallest smile dancing viciously across his lips, a cruel cast to the shadows on his face, oozing lethal confidence, a bit of contempt, and a certain surety of his own safety.

He stopped directly in front of her shaking form and leaned in and over her—placing his neck directly in line with the barrel of the gun—smirking haughtily at his soulmate.

“Do you really think you have the guts to shoot me?” he taunted.

Tsuna froze.

The barrel of the gun was shoved up into his neck, cold and perfectly nestled into the junction of his jaw and jugular.

Sudden, icy anger fueling her actions, she cocked the gun, taking her sweet time to let the click resound in Tsuna’s ears. “That depends,” she whispered from behind clenched teeth. “On what you’re here for.”

Tsuna blinked, surprise bleeding into his posture, deadly aura falling away.

“What do you think I’m here for?” was his careful query.

Her nostrils flared, jaw set in determination. “I won’t die.”

Tsuna’s brow furrowed, just slightly, as the words fell before him. The full meaning hit him like a sledge hammer to the gut. A string of guilt tugged on his heart and pulled, dragging it down to sit heavy on his stomach. “Is that- Is that what you think I’m here for?” he asked incredulously. He stepped back, away from the cocked gun and the defensive woman behind it.

Doubt flew through her eyes. “I… did?”

“Damnit! What kind of man do you think I am?” he growled.

She glared, heartrate jumping at his rough tone. Her fingers tightened on the gun. “A Don.”

“Ok, that’s fair.”

She raised an eyebrow at the uncontested acquiescence.

“But listen to me, sweetheart. Please. I’m not here to kill you. C’mon, you know me-”

“No. I don’t Tsuna.” She frowned. Her voice was forceful and agitated, frustration flying through her eyes and settling in the furrow of her brow. “Maybe you’ve forgotten, but we only knew each other for three weeks before you decided I was moving in with you.”

Tsuna’s hands came up in a shrug. “Well, yeah, but we’re soulmates. We’re made for each other and I-” He cut off abruptly.

Eyes narrowed in suspicion. “You what?”

“I, um, may have known about you before you knew me,” Tsuna admitted, for once looking a bit sheepish.

“You what?” she spat, all but hissing.

“It wasn’t on purpose! We were just—will you put the gun away? The last time I had a gun pointed at me this long Don DiMarco was threatening to decapitate me in his parlor!” He saw the resolute set of her face and the stubbornness in her eyes.

And the fear. She was still afraid.

Of him.

She was afraid of him.

His own damn soulmate was afraid of him.

Suddenly, it was too much. The world resting on his shoulders was too heavy and he couldn’t take the weight anymore because his soulmate—the one who should trust him the most—was afraid of him.

And it really was his fault for being such an enormous douche.

He looked at her, truly observing her for the first time since he broke into her apartment. She was tired. The entire situation had been weighing on her back and turning in her stomach for months upon months and she was bone-tired. Tsuna could see it. Dark circles announced the months of fearful half-sleep and her jacket hung a bit too loosely on her frame in a subtle show of anxiety-fueled weight loss. Despite the firmness in her eyes and the hard cords of muscle that peeked from beneath her clothes, he could see the gauntness that hadn’t been there before.

He swallowed dryly.

His fault.

Tsuna backed away. He sat on the couch, shoulders drooping, back slouched, head hanging.

“Please,” he pleaded.

She stood there, teetering on the precipice of distrust and concern. This was something she hadn’t seen from Tsuna before. In the three weeks of knowing him she had seen angry, charming, happy, smug, deadly, seductive, ruthless, motivated, domineering…

She had never seen vulnerable.

Tsuna looked up as he heard a noise.

She had put the safety back on and was setting the gun on the table.

Her beautiful face was frowning, just a bit, but she was walking over to him and sitting next to him, not quite touching him and her hands and arms curled in tight to her body like a shield.

“If you’re not here to kill me, what are you here for?” she asked quietly, eyes on her shoes.

Tsuna didn’t answer.

“Why are you wearing so much black?” he asked instead.

She swallowed. “I was at a funeral.”

“Whose?”

“A boy in town. From the youth shelter. I work there now.”

Both of their voices were subdued, careful; both afraid of driving the other away, both scared of closing the gap too quickly.

“You work at a youth shelter?”

“I, um, run it.”

Tsuna blinked. “That’s amazing.”

She shrunk further into the shelter of her hunched shoulders.

“No. I meant it.” Tsuna shifted, turning his body to her. His hands found her face, cupping her cheeks and gently lifting her eyes to his. “That’s wonderful. I didn’t…” he trailed off. “I’m sorry. That’s what I came here for. I came to say that I’m sorry for the way I treated you, for how much I took you for granted, for ever hurting you.” He kissed her, tender and soft, yet needy and desperate. Trying to convey feelings he didn’t have words for. He pulled back—far too quickly for his taste. “I never wanted to hurt you. Never want to hurt you. I-” He licked his lips, searching for words. “I didn’t think of you. I only thought of myself and there’s no excuse for it.”

Tsuna’s hands slid from her face, across her neck, skimming her shoulders, caressing her arms. They settled on cradling her hands, still lying in her lap. His head fell forward into the crook of her neck. His heart leapt and he let out a sigh of utter relief and happiness when he finally felt her relax against him.

They stayed still like that for a while.

“How did you know about me before we met, Tsuna?” she asked into the quiet.

Tsuna spoke into her neck, too comfortable to move. “It really was an accident. It was your roommate. She worked for a sex trafficking ring we were trying to crack.”

“What the he—”

“Shh. I know. She doesn’t seem like she could hurt anyone. But we had been tracking her for months, lost too many informants to her. Each time we got close, she would disappear. We knew we couldn’t attack her directly. Otherwise she’d run. And you were there. An innocent civilian. We try to avoid civilian casualties. So we sent in a Vongola man.”

“I knew I had seen Dante somewhere before!” she cried.

Tsuna chuckled. “Sometimes you’re too observant for you own good. Yes, Dante was the one we sent. He started dating her and got to know about you. Angelica talked about you a lot. Specifically, she mentioned your soulmark.”

“Angelica?”

“Her real name. Anyway, Dante didn’t know it matched mine, but he had to report everything and my guardians do know my soulmark. Gokudera put two and two together.”

“How long before we met?”

Tsuna paused. “Um, two months.”

“Two months? You were stalking me for two months before you introduced yourself!” She moved back dislodging Tsuna, her hands going to her hips in mock anger. “You are my soulmate, mister. You stalked me for two months! What do you have to say for yourself?”

She expected him to follow her playful attitude, but instead his eyes dropped to stare intently at their hands.

Tsuna couldn’t bring himself to look at her. “I didn’t know if I wanted a soulmate,” he admitted.

“I understand.”

Tsuna’s eyes whipped to hers.

She laughed softly. “Do you know how terrified I was when my soulmark started to burn? I almost passed out.” She frowned. “What changed?”

“The situation.” Tsuna moved closer. “May I?” he inquired, gesturing toward her with open arms.

She nodded, trusting her instincts that told her he truly didn’t want to harm her. If he did, he would have done so already.

Tsuna gathered her close, pulling her into his body. He nestled her between his legs and curled around her. carefully wrapped his arms to encompass her—warm, but not tight. He didn’t want her feeling trapped at the moment. After all, she had held a loaded gun to his neck not too far in the past. Finally, he laid his head against her, encouraging her to relax back into him.

As he cradled her, Tsuna spoke. “Your roommate was planning on selling you to the sex trafficking ring. She just had to make sure no one would come looking for you.”

“Me? Why? I’m sure there are easier targets.”

“She thought you were a virgin. Virgins go hundreds of thousands of dollars in this particular circle.” Tsuna spoke quietly, anger at what could have happened to the woman in his arms seeping through the softness of his voice.

They lapsed into contemplative silence.

“How can I trust you?” she whispered. “How do I truly know you’re not here to kill me? I don’t feel like you’re here to hurt me, but…” Her voice was conflicted, tired, and confused.

Tsuna’s response this time was slower, more thoughtful. “Is that why you learned to use a gun?” he asked, yet again answering with a question.

She nodded hesitantly.

Tsuna sighed. “You spent all that time, nearly an entire year, thinking I wanted you dead?”

Another nod, smaller.

Tsuna’s hold on her tightened and he buried his face more deeply in her neck. She could feel him shaking just the slightest bit. “I’m so sorry,” he murmured. “You shouldn’t have had to live like that. I shouldn’t have made you feel like that.”

This was not what she had expected, obviously. She had expected hostility and ego and was instead met with penitence and tenderness; a sincerity she had yet to witness in her mafioso.

“I want to believe, but it’s still hard. I had convinced myself you would hate me,” she admitted.

“I was angry at first, don’t get me wrong. I-” his voice faltered. “I went a bit insane with anger. Do you know what it’s like to have your other half ripped away from you?”

“Tsuna, I am your other half.”

“Exactly.”

“It was terrible,” she conceded. “I felt like someone had ripped a piece of my chest out.”

“Yes.” His voice softened again, shame creeping into the corners. “I was hurt and I showed it through anger. I was bent on finding you, but not for the right reasons.” He stopped. That was a bit of an understatement. His anger had taken over like a tsunami, rolling across the ground and threatening to devastate everything he held dear. Looking back on it, he couldn’t help but be impressed that it had taken so long to find his beloved despite the burning motivation of his fury.

“And?”

Tsuna chuckled wryly. “Yamamoto and Reborn knocked some sense into me. Literally. Separately. Brutally.”

She laughed along with him. “I’m sorry. I’ve heard horror stories about those two.”

“You could always kiss it better,” Tsuna purred in her ear.

“Tsuna!” she protested with a wiggle, but Tsuna held on tight, smiling mischievously.

He continued to hold her, letting her sink back into his embrace.

“Do you know how much I love you?” Tsuna exhaled.

She froze. He had never directly stated his love.

“I thought I knew how it would feel; seeing you for the first time. I’d seen your picture. I read every bit of information we had on you. I sent Gokudera to watch you for a bit.”

“See, I told you you were a stalker,” she sassed.

“Shush. I’m being mushy. Besides, I’m a Don. What was I supposed to do?” He swallowed thickly. “Then I saw you. I met you. And I couldn’t think. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t do anything. I felt like I was a kid again, No-good Tsuna, all helpless and weak. It-it didn’t rearrange my life. It just… gave it sense. Changed my perspective. I finally saw how everything in my life had been preparing me for you, had been directing me and giving me the tools to succeed, for us to succeed. When I saw you, I knew that I could love you.” He turned his head to her neck and began kissing. It was soft. It was sensual. His kisses were so tantalizingly slow she wanted to cry out. As it were, she bit her lip and listened to the words he pressed into her skin.

“I forgot. Too quickly. I forgot how much I need you. I forgot that not everything is dark and heavy and callous. And I forgot that you’re my light. I tried to drag you down into the darkness with me. But that’s not right. I need you. I need you to help me stay afloat in the dark. I need your warmth and your love. You happiness and your laughter–”

“My boobs.”

A laugh escaped Tsuna. “Maybe your boobs.” He paused before shifting his hands around to cup her breasts. “Definitely you boobs.” He bucked his hips, undulating as slow as possible to grind into her backside. Her face flamed. “Your butt, too. That’s pretty nice.” His lips were scalding on her skin, nipping and nuzzling.

“Tsuna,” she called urgently, all breathe and blush and gasping lungs. “Stop. I can’t do this.”

Tsuna stilled immediately.

She untangled herself from Tsuna’s arms and stood up on shaky legs.

Tsuna almost made a deeply embarrassing sound at the loss of her warmth, but he let her go. He needed to do this her way, as much as it killed him. He wanted to whisk her away now. To take her back to the Vongola mansion and take her in every sensual, erotic way humanly possible. He wanted to lock her up for a week straight and worship her body and soul. Watching her standing there, chest heaving and skin flushed, trying to deny the magnetism of their touch, he wanted her more intensely than anything he had ever desired.

He had considered doing it.

Taking her.

Especially back when he was angry.

He had dreamed of finding her and taking her in the middle of the night, locking her away, punishing her, and never letting her see the light of day again. It had taken Reborn beating him within an inch of his life and Yamamoto roughing him up to get it through his head that it was his fault. That she left for a reason and he would only cause them both misery if he pursued those awful thoughts. That if he ever wanted a true shot at her love, he needed to take her into account.

And as much as he wanted her to be his, he couldn’t own her. He didn’t want to cause her pain due to his selfishness. He had already done enough of that.

So he could be patient; for her.

She leveled her gaze toward Tsuna, sorrow lacing her eyes. “I can’t go back with you.”

Tsuna stood. He walked over to her and grabbed the hand that was clutched to her chest. “I’m not asking you to. Not yet. Eventually. Maybe. When you want.” He brought her hands to his lips. “What I’m asking for is a second chance. A chance to get to know you properly. To date you, to court you. I want a second chance to love you fully, to give you a chance to know me.”

She stared down at her own hand, still held tenderly in his. “I can’t leave, Tsuna.”

He could hear the tears trembling in the timbre of her voice.

Tsuna brought her hand to his chest, cradling it with both of his own hands. “We’ll cross that bridge when it comes. I mean to take the time we need this time around.” His voice was the most painful mix of careful soothing and quiet desperation. “You’ll stay here. I’ll visit on the weekends. You’ll remain independent until you decide otherwise. We can look for someone to run the Youth Center here so you don’t have to worry. And everything will be your choice. Please.”

She looked up at him. “And we’ll take things slow?”

“As slow as you want.”

She bit her bottom lip for a brief moment, mulling things over. “What if I decide it won’t work?”

“Honestly?” Tsuna asked. “I’ll probably be back the next day with every rose in a fifty mile radius and your great-aunt Bertha yelling at you to marry me.”

She smiled, a soft laugh pealed from uncertain lips, and Tsuna felt his heart leap.

There was a pause, a consideration.

“Fine.”

Tsuna let out a relieved sigh. A load of tension eased from his shoulders, bleeding away with the warmth in her smile.

Seeing the stress he’d been carrying, trusting his word, she took Tsuna’s hand with the hand still held in both of his. Together they walked to the couch and she made him sit in front of her so she could rub his back and shoulders.

As she kneaded his muscles in the most wonderful of ways, Tsuna inquired of his love in a soft voice, “Would you really have shot me.”

Her motions continued without change, tender and capable. “I won’t die, Tsuna. Not like that.”

There was a strength in her words, a passion and conviction Tsuna had never previously realized.

His soulmate was strong.

“Good,” he stated with a firm nod. “You’ll need that resolve. I live a dangerous life. If you decide to live yours with me, you’ll need to be prepared. You’ll need to take that strength and hold tight. Focus it and let it become your will and your tool.” He grabbed her hand from his shoulder and brought it to his mouth, not kissing it. He leaned into the hand, speaking into the smooth skin. “As soon as you make the decision to be mine, as soon as you make the choice to stand beside me, you become my Donna; my Queen.”

Taehyung’s Personal Assistant

Group: BTS

Genre: Angst/Fluff

Pairing: TaehyungxReader

Word count: 1,859

Plot: Being Taehyung’s personal assistant is a living hell, but what happens when he goes too far?

“This water is too fucking cold,” Taehyung said before tossing the bottle of water over his shoulder. You quickly stopped walking with him to go and pick it up. As V’s assistant, you had to cater to his every whim, even if it meant getting him room temperature water in an airport.

“I’m sorry, they didn’t have any room temperature water. Do you want me to get you something else?” You spoke softly after catching back up to him, trying to hold back your anger.

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title: lonely rabbits and make ups (sequel to over)

genre: angst/fluff ?

pairing: jungkook x you

word count: 1,545

A/N: well here’s the requested part two to over (which you can read here) I realized that I beat around the bush a lot, I guess? I’m sorry lmao. It turned out longer than I expected but I hope you enjoy it just as much as I enjoyed writing the two parts ~

(gif credit goes to it’s right owner)

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when i told you i loved you

Originally posted by michaelsofficial


Warnings: swearing, mentions drinking, mentions sexual activity

Word Count: 1489

Summary: angsty bestfriend!calum stuff.

“I’m sorry, dear. But I just- I just don’t feel the same. You aren’t really who I want to be with. We aren’t on the same level right now.”

Her breath stopped. This was not how it was supposed to go. Everyone told her, he felt the same. Everyone said. This was supposed to be the part where he saw her standing in the pretty dress under the light of the moon and said he loved her back.

Her head was a mess of anger and sadness and confusion. She was made to believe that he loved her back. She put her heart on her sleeve and confessed the pent up love she’s been feeling for him since they were in their early teens.

She nodded slowly, staring at her fingers while she picked at her fingernails. Tears didn’t come. He didn’t think they would, she wasn’t much of a crier. She avoided his eyes as she spoke.

“Yeah, okay. I get it. I don’t blame you; you can’t help how you feel. I-uh, I still want to be friends though. I mean we’ve been friends for twelve years. I don’t want it to end over something as silly as this.” She chuckled quietly.

“Of course. You’re my best friend.”

She nodded at the ground, still not looking at him. “Well, Cal, I think its time for you to head out. If you don’t mind I’m gonna go process this for a while.

He nodded quietly and muttered a quiet ‘I’ll see you’ and walking out of her backyard.

Two days later the band left for their tour. Having him gone made it easier for her to nurse her broken heart. They stayed in touch and almost completely resumed to their normal relationship, but there was always a little hesitation in her voice when she was telling him something personal.

It was mid February when the boys returned home for a month-long break from tour. The summer time in Australia was nearing the end and everyone from close friends to vaguely familiar acquaintances were inviting them to parties. Every other night the five (give or take a friend or two) of them would go out to some party at some person’s house and get a little drunk on some cheap alcohol.

Tonight was no different. All four boys were laughing with other partygoers and drinking until they felt dizzy. She was nursing her second coke and rum mix of the night and observed the party from the couch at the edge of the room. Her head felt light and she couldn’t quite focus on anything in particular but a small smile still found it’s way onto her face while she relaxed.

Soon a body collapsed on the couch beside her. A boy with brown hair and dark green eyes offered her a lazy smirk.

He stuck his hand out for her to shake. “M’name is Jake.”

She shook his hand and introduced herself.

“You here alone?” He licked his lips.

“No I’m here with the band boys.” She gestured towards Luke and Ashton who were standing a couple feet to her left.

He nodded understanding what she meant. “Famous friends? That makes you pretty cool too.” He flashed her a crooked grin.

She giggled a little. “I guess you could say I’m an honorary celebrity.”

They chatter for another forty minutes. Two drinks later, she was sitting on his lap, giggling as he whispered in her ear. Cheeky comments spilled from his lips making her blush and lightly smack his bicep. His arm was wrapped around her waist, his hand resting on an exposed part of her hip. His other hand was stationed on her upper thigh. He would grip her close occasionally, causing her to let out a little squeal and laugh.

Across the room Calum was having a casual conversation with some people he used to have classes with. He drank from a beer, buzzed. He liked the feeling. It made conversations flow easier, he thought.

He scanned the crowd, locating the other three boys in the room. His eyes fell on her and his body ran cold. What the hell was that guy doing to her? He watched them interact. His grip on the beer bottle became so tight his fingers turned white.

He excused himself from the conversation and started making his way towards the couch. Some other former classmates, begging for his attention, soon obstructed his pathway. He politely told them he needed to go but promised to talk soon. When he looked back up the couch was empty.

His eyes rapidly darted around the room. He started to panic when he saw her reach the top of the staircase and turn a corner with the guy she was with earlier. He was seeing red now.

She entered an empty room with the boy. She shut the door behind her and immediately felt his hands on her waist. She spun around to face him. He leaned forward, connecting their lips. She kissed him back with a subtle sense of urgency.  He gripped her ass hard and she jumped up. He walked over to the bed. She disconnected their lips to remove her shirt before helping him out of his. She pushed him onto the bed and straddled his hips, grinding her crotch onto his hard on. She kissed him again, reaching back to take her bra off when the door to the room opened.

Before she could tell the intruder to piss off, her body was being lifted off the boy. She thrashed around, shouting to be let down. She was set down and turned around to meet the face of a fuming Calum.

“Get your shirt on.” He ordered.

“What the fuck Calum? Get out!” She shouted at him outraged.

“I said get your shirt on.” He repeated.

She slapped him across his cheek. She picked her shirt up off the floor and threw it over her head, storming out the door. Embarrassed, confused and mostly furious, she marched out of the house. A hand gripped her upper arm and she spun around.

“Are you serious?” She screamed.

He had never seen her so angry before. Not even when he broke her iPod in the 6th grade. It frightened him a little bit.

“What the fuck is your problem Calum?”

“What are you talking about? I just saved you from being used!” He shouted back.

“What in your mind made you think it would be okay to do something like that?” She shoved him a little bit.

“He was using you!” He threw his arms up. “He was manipulating you for meaningless sex!”

She was fuming. “Did it ever occur to you that maybe I wanted to have meaningless sex? Did you even stop to think that maybe fucking him was my intention?”

He winced at her vulgar language. “You shouldn’t be sleeping around with strangers. You’re better than that.” He barked.

Her vision turned red. She was irate. “You have absolutely no right to interfere in my personal life!”

“I’m protecting you!”

“I don’t need protecting. Jesus Christ, Calum! Last time I checked you aren’t my boyfriend! You didn’t want to be my boyfriend!”

“I don’t want you to get hurt.” He argued back.

“Says the boy who completely and utterly shattered my heart.” She chuckled menacingly. “When I told you I loved you, I gave myself to you completely. ‘We aren’t on the same level.’ That’s what you told me. You don’t get to tell me how to behave.”

Then she did something he didn’t think she would do. She started to cry. She started to cry big, warm, wet tears. They rolled down her cheeks in rapid streams. Her sobs we choking and muffled as she tried to control them.

“Sometimes I wish I never even met you. If we never met I wouldn’t be standing here crying to you about how much you fucking suck. I don’t know if it would be for better or for worse, but I don’t really care because I can’t think of anything worse than the way I felt when you told me I wasn’t good enough for you.”

Calum stood in front of her feeling the most intense sensation of desolation he could feel. All he wanted to do was reach out to her and pull her in for a hug. He took a step forward and she took one back.

“Don’t you dare. I am so sick of you thinking you can push me around like this.” She wiped her eyes angrily.

“I love you.” He choked out past his own tears.

“I hate you.” She whispered before turning around and stumbling away.

Calum let out a strangled sob from his shaking lips. He crumbled to the ground, sinking his head into his hands. Just like that, Calum watched the only thing that he ever really wanted walk out of his life.


Part 2

phiithatos  asked:

38. I like your laugh

send me a number from here (x) and I’ll write you a fic
#38. “I like your laugh.”

it was soft but it was undeniably a girl’s cry. sasuke glances up from his desk and turns his head to look behind him. all he saw was rows of empty desks and the supply closet in the back. he had come into the classroom just fifteen minutes ago right when school ended for the day. this week, he was in charge of cleaning up the classroom as the task monitor. everything was going fine and he was just about to check off his first task when he heard the sounds of a crying girl coming from somewhere within the room. 

sasuke stares at the supply closet and wills the sound to go away. it didn’t. he sighs as he puts down the paper in his hand. he looks inside his desk to find his eraser as he places it on top of the sheet of paper to keep it from flying away. slowly, he edges himself out of the seat as he makes his way to the supply closet.

without a second thought, he slides it open. whoever was in there probably didn’t realize that the second task on the list was to organize the supply closet. inside, he found a young girl crouched with her head buried in her knees. it was one of his classmates. he recognized her instantly with her pink hair.

“sakura… what are you doing here?”

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