excuse me as i cry over my stupid imagination t t

Bad Reputation (J.A)

Description - Everybody is against Jack dating you because of your past.
Song - Bad Reputation by Shawn Mendes
Warnings - angst, swearing, mentions of physical abuse
A/N - this is set in an A/U universe where all of the boys went to the same high school and all grew up in the same hometown in L.A, but besides that everything else is the same

“ She got a bad reputation
She takes the long way home ”

“Where have you been?” Corbyn asked as Jack subtly walked into their shared house. Jack glanced up and took notice of all of the boys staring at him, arms crossed and eyebrows raised.

“What is this? An intervention?” Jack scoffed, locking the door and shoving his hands into his pockets.

“You could say that,” Jonah huffed. Jack rolled his eyes and took a few more steps into the house.

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Good Girl Ch 45:While They’re Away(M)

The last couple chapters have a lot of jumping through time!

A Month Later

“Stop pouting,” Jiyong flicks me in the head.

I glare and swat at him, “Keep your hands on the wheel.”

He chuckles, “I know you are upset but think about it, only a few more days until they come back.”

“True,” I sigh, “You need to stop being so amazing.”

“What did I do now to make you realize my greatness?”

“You confess to me every Tuesday yet at the same time you stand up for them and constantly reassure me of their love, it can be a bit confusing.”

He nods, “I guess, I do what I know will make you happy.”

“You confessing doesn’t make me happy, it makes me feel guilty.”

“I don’t want to make you feel that way but I’m doing what I know is best for you.”

I scoff at him, “What is best for me?”

“Yes,” He says with a smug smile, “I believe I am best for you.”

“Can we stop talking about this?”

“Of course my love.”

I sigh but say nothing more, I just stare out the window at the trees flying by, only the faint shapes can be made out in the darkness on the other side of the window. We stay silent for a while, the drive feels like it’s taking longer than usual and I know it’s because he’s actually obeying the speed limit for once.

“Who do you miss the most?” He wonders.

“All of them, I miss all of them the same.”

He scoffs, “Don’t pull that bull shit on me, I know there is one you love more.”

I glare at him but can’t deny the sudden lump in my throat, “Tell than if you seem to already know.”

“Xiumin.” I open my mouth to respond but nothing would come out, no excuses or lies, I couldn’t get anything out. Jiyong chuckles and pats my head, “I wasn’t asking you a question, I know. You make it obvious when you see him. If it’s your choice he is who you run to first unless someone else pops up and gets in the way.”

I just stare down at my hands feeling strangely guilty for my feelings. I don’t notice that we were at the house until Jiyong puts the car and park and opens my car door for me. The summer night is chilly so I wrap my arms around myself. The front door busts open to reveal my five youngest daddies and Baekhyun who was left behind so Chen could go on whatever mission the older five had to go on. Sehun basically tackles me to the ground, wrapping himself around me protectively so he takes most of the impact.

“I missed you!” Sehun whines with his have face tucked into my neck.

I chuckle and hug the silly man tight, “I missed you too daddy.”

“I’ll be taking my leave than,” Jiyong gives them a forced smile. “See you next Tuesday.”

“Bye Oppa!” I wave to him as I’m basically dragged inside. I barely see a genuine smile spread across his face as he blows me a kiss. The words I know he’s saying run threw my head, ‘Bye my love’.

“You were gone for way too long!” Baekhyun greets me next with a hug and a kiss.

“I came back earlier than usual,” I snicker. “Jiyong oppa got tired of my pouting and figured being with you guys would make me feel better.”

“And?” Kyungsoo wonders.

I smile, “I feel better.”

“Do you really miss the others that much?” Chanyeol wonders.

“Of course I miss them!”

“Baby you are making me jealous,” Tao pouts coming forward to greet me. “I’m starting to wish I had gone too so you would be constantly worried and thinking about me.”

I laugh, “No you don’t, than I wouldn’t be able to do this,” I go up on my tip toes and give him a peck on the lips.

“True,” His arms wrap around my waist so he can pull me close.

“Don’t get too close,” Chanyeol warns worming his way in between me and the other giant. “As I remember, it isn’t your night tonight.”

“That’s right, it’s me,” Kai buds in.

“I’m not excited for the hyungs to come back,” Sehun whines. “I can barely get your attention with only six of us, I don’t want to go back to having you every two weeks.”

“I know daddy I’m sorry that we won’t be able to spend as much time together,” I peck the youngest on the cheek.

He half heartedly glares at me, “But.”

“But I am excited to have them home. I really missed them. It just feels weird not having them here, like there is something missing, or a few somethings.” An apologetic smile appears on my face briefly.

There is a moment of silence before Kai speaks up, “Are we really not enough for you?” It’s a heavy question that I wasn’t expecting though I can imagine how long they’ve wanted to ask it. I open mouth but no words come out, why can’t I speak today, all of these questions are being thrown at me that I would think I could answer. But now with the six of them staring at me expectantly I can’t find my voice. There is a surprising amount of anger in not just Kai’s eyes but a few others at the amount of time it takes for me to think of an answer. “Would you really not be satisfied with six of us? You need all twelve?”

“Don’t ask questions you don’t want the answer to,” Soo mumbles before turning on his heel walking away, Kai huffs and follows, Tao does the same.

“Stupid kid,” Baekhyun mumbles. “The sooner he realizes that the better.”

“Realizes what?” I wonder once I’m able to swallow the lump in my throat. Guilt is swallowing me up, I should just answered the question instead of letting them make up an answer on their own.

“Nothing baby,” Chanyeol pats me on the head before walking away as well. With the happy welcome party dissipated I excuse myself to wallow alone in my room against Baekhyun and Chanyeol’s whishes and Sehun’s whining but I can tell they feel the same way as Kai even though they won’t admit it out loud. It’s 10:30 when I’m done showering and find myself standing in the middle of my room feeling like an idiot. It’s Kai’s night yet he hasn’t come looking for me, in fact none of them have. I don’t know whether them giving me some space is a good thing or a bad thing. But the fact that no matter how much I usually beg and whine they never give me space they aren’t mad enough that they would have me sleep alone are they?

I feel stupid when tears threaten to fall down my cheeks at such a small thing, but I don’t want to be alone. After being here so long I can’t handle being alone again.  I’m playing with the hem of Luhan’s t-shirt, mindlessly trying to find comfort in the deer man’s clothes, when suddenly my computer starts ringing. Confused I wander over where it is sitting on my bed and answer the Facetime call. There is a brief pause before Suho’s face fills the screen.

“Daddy!” I cry, I’m actually crying tears of joy just from seeing his face, god what a girl I’ve become.

“Hello my precious baby!” He coos into the phone, “I’ve missed seeing your sweet face!”

“I miss you too Daddy, so much! Why have you been gone so long? Why haven’t you been able to call? It’s been two weeks! Do you have any idea how worried I’ve been? Are you okay? Is everyone okay? Where are they? Answer me!” I’m a crying mess at this point, fat tears are rolling down my cheeks and I’m sniffling, trying to avoid having snot involved in the picture.

He chuckles, “Baby calm down, please take a deep breath and stop crying, you know I don’t like you crying.” I follow his command and sit down on the bed, taking deep breaths as I do to calm the erratic beating of my heart. After a minute he smiles softly, “Better?”

I nod, “Better, but tell me what is going on, what is going on?”

“I can’t tell you much, or anything really other than that we are still coming home in two days and also that we are all fine. We haven’t been able to call because of where we were staying. Technically we are still supposed to be wary of who we call but I couldn’t help myself, I needed something other than a picture of you.”

“Are you sure you are okay?” I repeat.

“We are all completely fine,” He reassures me, allowing me to let out the breath I didn’t even know I was holding. “But what about you baby? I hear there was an issue.”

I sigh, “Yea Kai got mad at me and everyone else kind of followed, Baek, Yeolie, and Sehunnie wouldn’t admit it but I can tell.”

“I’m sorry baby, I didn’t think our being gone would cause such a fuss.”

“What are you talking about? Of course I would throw a fit!”

“I’m very happy to hear that. I’m also incurably happy to hear your sweet voice again, you have no idea how much I’ve missed your voice, your face, your needy moans.”

I blush, I actually blush at his words, “Daddy!”

“I’m sorry, it just slipped out,” He is blushing too. “But I should be honest, my call isn’t that innocent. I was wondering if there is any possible way we could break Hyung’s rule just for tonight and we could um, have, um, phone sex?”

My face is crimson now, I’ve never considered having phone sex before but I’ve heard reviews from Jihyo and they were always positive. With lip firmly pinched between my teeth I nod slowly.

A large grin spreads across his face, “Thank god, I don’t know what I would have done if you had said no. I’ve been aching since I got the thought of doing this at dinner.”

“I don’t know what to do,” I admit meekly.

“It’s okay Baby, I’ll talk you threw it. Have you ever touched yourself before?”

I just nod.

“It’s just like that but just imagine it’s me touching you, sliding my hands up your perfect thighs, gripping them a little harder as I go higher.” I set computer aside and with shaky hands follow his orders. My hands travel up my bare legs, my small hands not doing as much as Suho’s but there is still a nice tingle in the pit of my stomach. “I skim the edge of your underwear for only a second before going up to your hips and up your stomach.” For a brief second I consider ignoring his narrative and jumping right into it but he notices the stilling of my hands on the waistline of my panties. “No, no, baby, not yet. Listen to me.”

“But Daddy,” I whine.

“We just got started and you are already whining? And I thought I wouldn’t last long,” He chuckles warmly. “Now baby listen to me. My hands move up a little more to cup your breasts over the t-shirt, you aren’t wearing a bra so just one little swipe of my thumbs over your nipples has them hard basically begging to be played with.  I’m gentle at first, just rubbing and massaging how you like it,” He pauses to moan, want to watch his face contorting with pleasure but I keep my eyes closed so I won’t be embarrassed. I let out a few of my own moans, enjoying my own handy work. “How does it feel baby?” He rasps out.

“It feels so good,” I say threw a few deep breaths. I clench my thighs together to try and ease the aching between them with no luck. I must have been too focused on Suho’s words and my own hands not to notice the door opening an closing. Without my knowledge someone sneaks up under my blanket and decides to take care of the aching for me. I nearly scream when my legs are forced apart but that is quickly covered with a moan when someone licks my clothed core. “Oh my god!”

“What happened?” Suho questions, obviously a bit dazed from his own hands work. “Did you disobey me baby?”

“No,” I whine as whoever is under the covers continues their kitten licks, eventually moving the fabric to the side to reach my soaked core. “Daddy, someone.”

“Don’t worry baby,” Kai peeks up at me from under the covers with a mischievous grin on his face, “It’s just me.”

“Kai?” Suho growls.

“Hey Hyung, aren’t you supposed to be on a black sight? No calling remember?” The younger raises his brow.

“Can’t you see we are in the middle of something?”

“I can but since you are breaking one rule, do you really think you should be breaking another? How would Xiumin hyung react to that?”

“Don’t you fucking dare,” Suho growls.

“Fine I won’t, but that means you need to hang up,” Kai reaches for the computer to close it but Suho’s complaining stops him.

“Don’t, I’m so fucking close and I just need to get off. Just give me two minutes to just look at her or listen to her.”

Kai sucks on his teeth for a minute, considering his hyung’s begging before grinning, “Okay Hyung I’ll let you have a little something.”


“Yea, you can watch.”

I stare at Kai with wide eyes, “What?”

“Don’t worry about it baby,” Kai kisses me. “Just let me do everything.”

“But, but, daddy Suho-“ I look to the older for help but the red hue of his cheeks tells me he doesn’t have a problem with it. Kai places a few more kisses along my jaw line and down my neck and soon I’m enjoying it too much to complain. He begins rubbing his hard on against me and I actually find myself forgetting that Suho is just watching us. The moment Kai sheds his clothes and pushes himself inside me I forget my own name. Only one word is in my mind, pushing desperately out of my lips, “Daddy.”

Both men let out a deep groan. Kai is hunched over me, his face buried in the crook of my neck, I can’t get myself to look over at Suho but I can hear him heaving. With my eyes closed I can imagine him, hand gripped tightly around his cock, pumping slowly. The thought does more to me than it should, the knot in my tummy suddenly is a lot more tighter than before and I can tell I won’t last much longer. My legs snake around Kai’s waist, pulling the tan man closer, my nails are digging into his backs.

Kai chuckles, “My little kitten has claws.”

“Keep the dirty talking to a minimum, you are ruining my fantasy and I’m close,” Suho growls.

“Did you hear him baby? He says he’s close but I think he’s going to need you to cum for him to finish, should we let Hyung cum?” Kai says with a wicked smirk.

I nod eagerly, “Please!”

“I don’t know,” He suddenly slows his animalistic pace to slow torturing thrusts. “That doesn’t seem too fun.”

Suho groans, “The sooner you let her come the sooner I’ll get out of your hair.”

Kai chuckles, “I guess that’s a good enough reason. Are you ready baby?”

I nod.

He leans back down and quickly begins to pick up his pace, pounding into me like no tomorrow until I moaning out, both men follow quickly after. Kai collapses on top of me for a moment before grinning at the camera.

“Hope you enjoyed,” With that he slammed the computer closed before burrowing his face back into my neck. We lay there for a long time and even though I’m exhasued I can’t get myself to fall asleep because I feel like Kai wants to say something. I make myself wait for him to speak, which feels like forever before he says, “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.”

“It’s fine daddy, you got jealous, it happens.”

“Everything makes me jealous now. I can’t even watch you smile at one of them without feeling a prick in my chest.”

I chuckle, “You better get used to it, there’s nothing we can do about it.”

“You could pick.”

I freeze at his words, “Pick?”

He shakes his head but continues to hide his face like a child, “No, Nevermind, don’t think about it. Don’t pick.”

“What craziness are you talking about?”

His playful voice comes out in just a whisper, “Please don’t pick.”

“Why are you saying stuff like this?”

I’m surprised to hear a sudden sniffle, “I know you won’t pick me so please don’t pick anyone. I can be jealous just please don’t pick.”

Only friendship? Chris Evans x reader 6/6

Summary: You and Chris  have been friends for years now but what happens if someone catches feelings? Will it destroy your friendship and what is going to happen to your 3 year old daughter

Pairing: Chris Evans x reader

Warnings: Fluff and maybe a little bit sad

This is the last chapter of Only friendship but there will be an Epilogue coming soon. Hope you´ve enjoyed the series so far and I hope you like the last part :)

Originally posted by theworldofshipping801

“You doing okay, honey?” Your mother asked as she placed a hand on your shoulder and you took a deep breath, nodding and smiling softly. “Well I have to. Today is not about me.” You both looked over to Darcy who was wearing a superhero costume because she wished to, running around the living room and playing with all her cousins. 

“I´m really impressed how fast you´ve grown up to become such a wise woman.” She had her arm wrapped around you as you sighed, your hands pressed against your hips, turning your head to look at her. “Like you said: God only sends us pain so we can prove that we´re stronger and although I really don´t want to be strong anymore I don´t have any other choice.” 

She hugged you and placed a soft kiss to your cheek before taking your face into her hands and looking at you. “You´ve been swallowing the pain your whole life maybe it´s time to let go.” You felt a tear streaming down your  face which she wiped a way with a sad smile. “Maybe you should get some fresh air. The kids are busy and we still have some time till cake.” You nodded saying thank you and grabbed your coat and hat, walking out of your house and breathing in the cold Alaska air. 

It immediately calmed you down and you started to walk down the street to a bench somewhere in the forrest where you sat down and kept staring at the landscape memories playing in your head of exactly 4 years ago in the hospital of New York.

You had no idea what happened. One second you were holding Chris hand, who was pressing his forehead against yours telling you that everything was going to be okay. The next you heard your babies scream and passed out. As you woke up you felt completely dizzy and tried to turn your head to the side where you saw Chris sitting on a chair, a big smile on his face, holding your baby in his arms slowly rocking her. “I might not be your real daddy but I´ll always take care of you. I´ll always be there for you when you need me okay? Gosh you´re so beautiful princess..beautiful like your mummy. Don´t worry about her okay? She is so strong and I make sure that no one is ever going to hurt you two” 

You felt the tears streaming down your face but tried to avoid it by taking a deep breath and standing up to walk back to your house. It was a shame that you fell in love with a man that treated you that way. Everything you wanted to be is happy and now everything seemed to be over. 

The moment you stepped onto the porch you heard a car pulling into the driveway and as you turned around you raised your eyebrow in confusion which turned into total shock as you saw Chris stepping outside with a bouquet of y/f/f in his hand. You had no idea what to do because you really thought this is just a stupid dream but as soon as Chris said your name it send chills down your spine. 

“I have no idea if you´ll ever forgive me for being such an idiot but I just want you to know that this whole Jenny thing was nothing real and only meant for PR. I should´ve told you this but I never thought it would escalate that quickly. I can´t pretend to be in love with a woman that I barely know.”

You´re body was shaking and you did not knew what to do. Tears were starting to form in your eyes again as you crossed your arms, trying to warm yourself up a little bit. “Why haven´t you told me?”

“I don´t know. I was scared of you judging me and I know it´s not an excuse but I can´t change my mistake and all I can do is standing here in front of you begging you to forgive me.” 

His voice was trembling and you grabbed your arms even tighter. You needed to know it. Needed him to say it because if this was everything Chris wanted, to be your best friend again you did not knew if you could live with the imagination of him dating someone else. You wanted him to be happy hell you did but getting your heart broken again is something you wanted to prevent at all costs. 

“Do you love me Chris?”

It was quiet for a moment. Chris clenched his fists, almost breaking the flowers, before taking a deep breath and slowly walking towards you. 

“I want to grow old with you. I want to raise Darcy with you, see how she goes to school, College and gets married having her own family. I want to wake up every single day to your sleepy face, kissing you any time I want, hold your hand and hug you. I want to simply sit and relax doing nothing but enjoying cuddling with you. I want you to be yourself around me because this is the most beautiful you can be. I want to laugh with you when you had a great day, I want to cry with you when you had a bad one. There is no one I can imagine spending the rest of my life with. And to answer your question. Yes. I love you. More than words can ever describe.”

His hand was placed on your cheek, wiping away your tears that were streaming down your face and all you could do was just stare at him and see that he meant everything dead serious. Your heart was beating in such a strong speed but you did not care. All you did was grabbing his collar and pulling him closer until your lips met each other and he wrapped his arms around you, pressing you to his body. 

It was the most beautiful sensation you´ve ever felt and for the first time in years you felt like you finally found that missing piece that would help you to get out of the sadness you were living in for so many years now. 

People were right when they said a hug or a kiss from the right person could heal all your wounds immediately and you never wanted to let Chris go but oh what a surprise a certain toddler calling Chris name caused you two to separate but even as Darcy jumped into his arms he never let go of your hand making sure, that he was always close to you in some way. 


@honeysweet-ness @void-imaginations @cherrixcii @hista-girl @layfwithicecream @miss-cap21 @irepeldirt @jjlevin @sweetheartmendes @lilya-petrichor @dottirose @mcu–trash @king4thesirens @cheekysylvia @5secondsof-beforeyouexit @guera31 @hellsbells1001 @lovely-geek


Only friendship masterlist

Epilogue will be uploaded on the 1st November 2017 :)

**my personal favourites :)

In the Sin Bin (9/? | 36,985 | Rated E) **

As the goalie for the New York City Blazing Angels, Alec Lightwood thinks he’s finally found the team he can go all the way to the championship cup with. Then his agent and financial advisor are arrested for stealing their clients’ money, and Alec is forced to take on a side job doing endorsement deals, plus find a way to trust his new agent–Magnus Bane.

Alec hates Magnus the first time he sets eyes on him.

Magnus hates Alec more.

But they’re going to have to find some way to work together if Alec is going to make it to the championship.

oh, i’ve waited for you (1/1 | 12,359 | Rated E)

He’d been willing to maybe try messing around with a shadowhunter—his first—but a married one? Hell no. (And he’d been to hell before, so he knew exactly how serious it was)

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#06 Crush

the first time that i saw Luke Hemmings i could have sworn that the world stopped. all i could see was him, smiling my way and staring at me with those perfect blue eyes. he was the most perfect guy i’ve ever seen, and no one else could made me change my mind. 

it’s been already a year since the last time i properly talk to him, and today was going to be the day that i would see him again. 

i’ve been trying to avoid this day as much as possible. the last time we talked was a year ago and it was nothing but a couple of words and a passenger hug, that’s it. not that i don’t want to see the guy who used to be my neighbor, partner in crime and best friend for the last two years that he had before taking his big step in music. I am just not ready to have a reunion with the biggest crush i’ve ever had… on his engagement party. 

“Sammy i don’t feel good” i pout laying on the door frame of my bedroom door and holding my hands on my tummy, and rubbing it softly. 

“Oh honey” my best friend Sam looks at me from the sofa and puts his book aside “What’s wrong?” he gets up from the sofa, quickly fixing his tie while he walks to me. 

“i think i have food poisoning or something” i lay my head on his shoulder. “I don’t think i’ll make it to the party” i cough “I’m sick” 

“oh no” he sighs putting the back of his hand on my forehead “i know what you have, it’s called cowardly syndrome”he says giving me a light slap on the ass and turns around, walking towards the kitchen. 

“Rude!” i exclaim, following him, doing my best to not fall out of my high heels. “Sammy, i’m serious, i can’t go to the party like this!, what if i throw up in the middle of the dance floor..? or pass out? or …?” 

“Seriously, (Y/n)?” he raises an eyebrow at me “you’ve been getting ready for this party for a month, literally. you’re not ill, you’re just fucking scared” 

“i mean, why wouldn’t i be?” i groan “Do i really have to do this?. Sammy, i really don’t want to see him with…her. ugh! c’mon!” 

he rolls his eyes at me “i bet she’s not that bad” he shrugs handing me a shot glass “maybe you guys could be friends…what was her name?” he says to himself “Arzee… Ash… Zar..” 

“Arzaylea” i complete watching how he fills my glass with tequila “And don’t mention her! we’re never going to be friends!” 

“(Y/n), you’ve never actually talked to her, maybe she’s nice” he fills his own glass “at least you should try to be friends with her, she’s going to be the one marrying Luke anyways, you can’t hate her forever” 

“I don’t know Sam..” i shrug looking at the ground “it still hurts, i’ve been waiting all this time for Luke to realize that i exist, i’m right there, and i’m in love with him!” i sigh “but i guess, this is all my fault. i should have gave the first step five years ago” i pout hiding my face between my hands and giving a soft cry. 

“no” he says quickly removing my hands from my face “it took me 30 minutes to do your makeup, don’t ruin my masterpiece” 

“Stop being so selfish!” i exclaim, pushing his hands away from my face “Samuel, i’m sad. don’t you see?” i whine “I am a 23 year old girl, who is still crying over her biggest crush, who stopped talking to her 3 years ago and had the balls to ask the one who loves to marry him, and all i can do is sit there and watch, while i contemplate who pathetic my life is, reminding myself that i’ve never had a boyfriend and that i’ll probably never have, because i can’t get over a boy who doesn’t give a shit about me” 

“Alright” Sam whispers, rubbing my back softly giving me a bit of moral support “i get it, and i hate being the only one telling you this but.. you need to get over him” he says fixing my hair a little bit “you know what?. you don’t need him, because tonight we’re going on a man hunt” 

i frown “a hunt?” i say “what about the party?” 

“we’re going there too” he shrugs “we go there, have a couple of drinks, give our ‘greatest’ wishes to the future groom and bride, and then… you are going to take that sexy shy lady from inside you, because we’re going to the greatest club in all Los Angeles, find the best men in there and have some fun. no more tears, or freaking crushes. We’re getting laid tonight!” 

“so graphic” i scoff giving Sammy a tight hug. “i guess that sounds good” 

“it’s going to be the best night ever!” he gives a small jump and then raises his shot glass “For the best night of our lives, Cheers” 

“Cheers” i repeat clicking my glass to his and swallowing the tequila. 

i furrow my nose at the taste of the tequila and feel how my body wakes up with the alcohol, and i feel so much prepared now. 

“Let’s get going” i finally say. 

“That’s my girl” he cheers and we get out of the apartment 

by the time we arrived at the party, the parking lot was full and the music was pretty loud. the party took place at a big salon lounge, the parking lot was already full, and from a long distance, it was easy to hear the music coming out of the lounge.that party was almost like the actual wedding. 

“Ready?” Sam says approaching to me, holding his hand out for me. 

i deeply sigh “Yeah” i nod taking his hand and letting him walk me to the lounge. 

“We won’t stay long, i promise” he whispers in my ear. 

We go into the lounge, and the first thing i notice is how big and bright that lounge was, they were spotlights everywhere and the tables were perfectly set around the dance floor, all of them having a beautiful red roses bouquet as decoration. this party was fancy as fuck. 

as soon as one of the security men walk us to our assigned table, i could already see some familiar faces, like some of my ex-partners who used to go to school with me back when i lived in Australia, some of Luke’s family and of course friends. 

 “this is so weird” i sigh “i feel like we shouldn’t be here” i say sitting on one of the chairs and pulling Sam on the sit beside me. 

“Hey, Don’t worry about it” he rubs my arm “As soon as we find him and congratulate him, we can get out of here” he smiles. 

“Thanks” i smile to him, laying my head on his arm. 

all i do is sit and observe people dancing around, thing that i would be doing, if i wasn’t feeling so weird, i would be dancing around and getting wasted, but tonight was definitely not my night, i wanted to be home, crying and not having to hear anything about this stupid party. or Luke. 

“oh my god” i hear a voice say at my back “are my eyes tricking me? (Y/n) is that you?” 

i curse on my inside and look back, there was this blond chubby woman behind me, with the biggest smile on her face, holding her arms out for me and waiting for me to give her a hug, of course i knew her, she was hard to forget . 

“Liz! Hi!” i smile getting up to hug her. “Long time no see!” 

“I know!” she smiles at me “It’s been weird not seeing you home this last years, i’ve talked to your mom a couple of times, you’re doing great here in LA Apparently” 

“yeah, it’s been a great year” i nod shyly looking at the floor.

“I’m glad you’re doing great dear” she smiles giving me a hug “I’m sorry we have to keep such a short conversation, but i need to help the to-be-groom run some quick tasks” she chuckles “it’s nice to see you” 

“Nice to see you too” i smile shyly returning the hug. 

as Liz left, i turn back to see Sam, he had a funny look on his face, but he didn’t said anything, he just turned back and walked to me, taking my hand and pulling me somewhere. 

“I’m guessing you need a drink” he says in my ear, walking me to the bar. 

i was feeling better on my third drink

the fourth was so much better

but when the sixth came, i couldn’t control the words that came out of my mouth.

that’s how much whisky affected me.

“Can you believe it though?” i tell the bar tender like he wanted to know my history “My best friend, just dumped me for another guy” i giggle swallowing more whiskey

“this is a sign” i sigh “maybe i shouldn’t even be here on this stupid party”

“We won’t stay long” I mock Sam “liar”

“Yeah” he says not caring and taking the glass away from me.

“Hey that’s mine!” i frown.

“You had enough, believe me” he winks at me leaving me alone
i hide my face between my hands and mumble

“Asshole” as i slide out of the chair, and search for my table so i could sit there.

I let my head rest on the table, letting a big sigh out of my lips and hearing the music bursting on my ears, non stop.

I want another whisky

I want to get out of here

I want another life

I want to get over this stupid situation

But most importantly, I want to forget everything about this

“Excuse me” I hear a masculine voice beside me, but not talking to me though “I need another bottle of champagne, how fast can you get it?”

“How fast is the speed of light?” He jokes, getting the back room to look for the bottle.

“Awesome” the voice chuckles.

Oh that laugh

That voice

I thought I would never hear it again.

I look up, and there he is.
He suits a very fancy black suit And a grey tie. He has the happiest expression on his face, which make him look ten times better than he usually looks.

I slide out of my seat, very carefully. Maybe if I just walk away he won’t notice me. Or maybe if I…

“For god’s sake” he says staring at me with a smile “I can’t believe it, you’re here !”

Before I could say anything, he hugs me, really tigh and I can’t do anything else than hug him back.

“I missed you!” He smiles at me “for real, I am so glad you’re here, I’ve been wanting to catch up with you all this time, how’ve you been?”

“I…um” I struggle “I’ve been okay” I shrugged hiding my shaky hands behind my back.

“Just okay? ” he chuckles “you look fantastic!”

“T-T-Thanks” i stutter “oh god” i cover my face with my hands. 

“Don’t hide” he says, pulling my hands away from my face “are you okay? you seem nervous” 

i struggle to find my next words “I am fine, i am just.. so..” i sigh looking down at the floor “Drunk” 

his smiles fades a little and he intermediately takes my hand, and guides me to the closest seat around us. he instructs the barman to take that bottle of champagne to his table as he stands beside me and touch my hair with his beautiful and soft hand. 

“Do you need water, a soda, anything?” he asks. 

he is so cool

i can feel his breathing on my face 

so i look right and there they are, those beautiful eyes staring at me with a worry look. 

“I..” i start. 

but my body follows it’s instinct. my mind says no but my body don’t give a shit. 

so i come just a little bit closer, and on my drunken state, i kiss him on the lips for a solid 3 Seconds. and all i can say is that those were the best 3 seconds of my entire existence. or at least it felt like it. 

he pulls apart, with wide eyes and touching his lips with the tips of his fingers. Speachless. 

“Bitch!” i hear a couple of tables away from me. 

and there she is. the crazy bride to be that i definitely did not wanted to see. and she is coming on my way. walking too fast on her heels and with the angriest expression. 

“I am so sorry!” i exclaim. walking away from the scene as fast as i can “I am not crazy! i swear!” 

i am crying by now. 

“I am so sorry!” i repeat.”Forget this happened. have a good night and a long happy life” i nervously yell. 

i run as fast as my heels let me. hearing all of the people talking about what just happening and making it the biggest deal ever. and it certainly was . 

when i spot Sam’s car, i look on my purse for the keys and open the car. getting there and driving home as fast as i can. 

this was crazy 

maybe i am going crazy. 

anonymous asked:

Can I please request something about being Jungkook's friend and learning him English, and at some point it gets heated and Jungkook says "Kiss me" and stuff. Thank you!

Thank you for your request!!! i hope you enjoy :)

Admin Abbie

X smut X


You sat in the living room looking over some more ideas to teach your student. He was trying to learn English so he could communicate better with his fans…yes fans. You student was none other the Jeon Jungkook of bts.

You guys were actually the same age, he was just a bit older then you by a couple months. You were from the United States so you knew English very well it was your first language after all. Jungkook came back in with some drinks and snacks and he placed them on the table. He took a seat next to you.

“So Y/N what are we learning today?”

“Just some simple phrases and statements nothing big!”

He nodded his head and looked down and the textbook as you taught him what he needed to know. He caught on really fast with English, He understood very well and his pronunciation was really good too! You felt like a proud parent in a way. But….luckily you weren’t his mom or anything…because if you were things would be difficult. You hated to admit it but you had a very big crush on Jungkook.

At first you tried to ignore it but the feeling only grew and grew every time you saw him. And if that wasn’t bad enough Jungkook didn’t know the meaning of the word ‘Space’ He was always so close to you and touching you and hugging you. It drove you crazy! him touching you made your whole body burn and feel like air.

He was cruel…he doesn’t even know he is cruel which makes it even worse! Because if he knew maybe he would stop making it so hard or maybe he would….No…No way would he do that.

You will admit that you’ve had countless wet dreams about him and when you touch yourself you imagine it’s his hand not yours. You craved him…all of him. You wanted him so bad that sometimes during the tutor lessons you had to ‘excuse yourself’ so you could take care of your…issue which usually meant going to his bathroom and masturbating so you could make it through the night. it was absolutely horrible.

“Y/N what is this word?”

Jungkook’s words snapped you out of your thoughts.

“Oh this? It is lover! like someone you make love to or someone you love kinda like a boyfriend and girlfriend”

“Ohh…Really? Thats interesting”

“Interesting? how so”

He ignored your question and just continued to look and his text book, he held the pen tightly in his head and with his index finger he would slightly stroke it. It was a small action..so why did it turn you on so much?!?! You felt the very familiar sensation starting to rise. You tried to think about something else, you thought about puppies and flowers and anything pure and innocent!!! but alas…it didn’t work…you were officially turned on…..great.

“Hey Y/N”


‘Shit!!! did i just stutter?!?!?! jeez way to go me..’ you thought

“I’ve been studying by myself a lot lately! and i think i’ve learned a lot new things.”

“Really? that’s great!! what all did you learn!!”

“Well…i’ve learned a couple words like wet, I’ve also learned all the meanings it has!”

“R-Really? that’s great..”

‘Of all things……it had to be Wet…’ you thought again as you took a deep breath

“Yep it can mean slippery, or moisture, it happens when you spill water or your get out of the pool or ocean or bath!”

“Y-Yes that’s correct good job kookie what are the other words you learn-”

“But….it can also be when a girl gets ‘Horny’ she can become extremely wet.”

Your jaw dropped….Not only did he just slightly dirty talk you but he also said ‘horny’ in English…Your body shook. 

“Y-Yea that i-is also correct…..”

“So let me ask this question…Y/N have you ever been ‘Wet’ before?”

“N-No…I don’t t-think i hav-”



“You’re lying”

“What m-makes you say that”

“Because i’ve heard you…..All those long bathroom breaks? Do you think im stupid.”

You didn’t know what to say……He knew….all this time he knew that you did that….IN HIS APARTMENT?!?!!?  You wanted to run…you just wanted to go home and cry. He found out that not only were you a pervert but you were sure that he knew that you liked him now as well.

“i-I’m s-sorry i don’t k-know what to s-”

“Kiss Me.”



“i said…Kiss me.”

You stood there speechless…He said what now?!?! did he just say IN ENGLISH that he wants you to kiss him?!?!?!  You must be dreaming..

“Jeez Y/N it seems like….i need to be your tutor now.”

He grabbed the back of your neck and pulled you in, He crashed his lips on yours and kissed you passionately. You were frozen…what should you do?!?! this was something you never expected to happen!!

he pulled back a little and whispered.

“K.I.S.S. M.E.”

You didn’t know what to do so you just let your instincts take over. You leaned in a kissed him, the sweet kiss turned into a hot make out session where your tongues were fighting for dominance and your body was burning. He pushed you down onto the floor and pinned your hands above your head. He kissed down your neck and sucked on your collarbone leaving behind a large red mark.

He pulled up and looked at you in the eyes, he removed his shirt and tied it around your wrists.

“Its my turn to teach you just what happens to a bad girl.”

His words sent shivers directly to your womanhood that twitched and ached with the need of his touch. yours eyes were clouded with lust and your breathing quickened.

He removed your top and kissed down your body, He reached underneath you and undid your bra in one swift movement. He then grabbed your pants and pulled them down, you were left in only your underwear. You could clearly see just how wet you were, Your juices were leaking down your legs and your panties were soaked.

“Look at you Y/N just how bad do you want me? Tell me..”


“Y/N tell me how bad you want me…..T.E.L.L M.E.”


“What i couldn’t hear you baby”


“How bad?”

“Really Bad!!!”

“Thats more like it.”

He leaned down and placed his thumb on your clit and slowly rubbed it, You leaned back and let out a small moan. He started rubbing it more as he kissed down you inner thigh. His hot breath that would slightly hit your womanhood every time he moved to the other leg drove you crazy. He was teasing you and you couldn’t take it anymore.



“Stop t-teasing me…”

“Hmmmm maybe if you tell me what you want…..I’ll give it to you, but you have to beg me…After all bad girls dont get rewards unless they do what their told”


He pinched your clit and bit your inner thigh leaving behind a mark, You  arched your back and let out a loud moan.

“Beg me and i will do it…thats all you have to do baby..”

“Please…just do it…”

“Do what? Your going to have to be more specific then that”

“I w-want you to f-fuck me…..”

“What was that? i couldn’t hear you babe”

“I said….I want you…to fuck me!”

“Now say it in English.”

“I want you to fuck me…Please”

“There ya go”

He grabbed your panties and ripped them off in one swift movement, He took off his pants and his boxers. His member standing tall and boy was it…big…was that even going to fit??!?! you thought

“Looks like you like what you see…Haha, well that goes both ways”

He placed himself at your entrance and started pushing in, He went slow until he was fully in. You fought back tears as you squeezed tightly onto his shirt. he waited for you to adjust to his size then he started moving.

He pulled out then slammed back in with amazing force. he started off slow and then went faster and harder. His body was starting to sweat as he went faster, You were screaming his name so loud you could swear the neighbors could hear you. You arched you back and grinned onto him as he slammed in and out of you.

“Y/N Scream my name! Make sure the whole town can hear me fucking you.”

He reached down and grabbed your clit and started rubbing it roughly, You felt your core start to tighten and your body was shaking. You were moaning his name as he went faster and deeper inside you. Your stomach began to not and you started screaming his name as he went harder. 

You felt him squeezing your hips tightly and you knew that it was going to leave marks in the morning. He started rubbing your clit faster and you knew you were about to cum

“J-Jungkook… i-im Cumming!”

“M-Me too!!”

With a few more thrusts you and him hit your climaxes and you both let out a loud scream. your bodies shook with pleasure as you both rode out your climaxes.

Once you finished he collapsed on top of you and then rolled off, You just laid there still in disbelief of what had just happened. You looked over at him and smiled as he smiled back at you.



“Does this mean that im your tutor now?”

“No! you aren’t that good in English yet! i still need to teach you!!”

“I know that…im not saying im your English teacher!”

“Then what”

He leaned over and kissed you sweetly while his hand traveled down and he inserted to fingers inside you.

“Im you’re sex tutor..of course”


“Yep im going to teach you all that you need to know and of course its a hands on only class so be prepared.”

He kissed you again and you knew right then and there…your life was about to get a lot more interesting…in many ways”



Took a headcanon from @mooncactus‘s post right here.

Spite fic right here.

On AO3. On FFn.

There was a man leaning over Valkyrie’s bed.

She didn’t even think as her fist leapt up against the man’s face.

She scrambled upright in bed, wrapping the sheets around her tightly. Valkyrie didn’t believe in pajamas, but it also meant if some creep woke her up, she was naked.

The man had fallen onto the ground and was covering his face with his hands. He seemed to be trying not to cry.

“Um,” Valkyrie said.

“You punched me,” the creep moaned.

“You’re in our house.”

Valkyrie stood and edged her way around the man. She kept her eye on him as she pulled on clothing.

He didn't look like an assassin. He was much too fat for that. And he was wearing a t-shirt and jeans. He even had glasses.

Not that assassins couldn’t have glasses, but Valkyrie guessed only really bad assassins had glasses. Assassins probably got laser eye surgery.

The creep pulled his hands away from his face. Blood trickled out of his nose. He looked at Valkyrie, in a t-shirt and shorts, blanket around her shoulders.

“Wow,” he breathed.

Valkyrie walked over and put her foot on his face. She mashed his cheek into the ground.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

this might sound stupid and weird but could you do RFA finding out MC stims, but they are really self conscious about it? like MC starts flapping their hands because she's excited and realizes what they are doing and get self-conscious? it doesnt have to be that kind of stimming and you can ignore if you wish

your wish is my command! Sorry if I’m a little off, I don’t know much about the topic, but I tried! Beware of long post 


  • You guys were literally out of food. You both forgot to go pick up groceries, and now there is no food left.
  • Clearly, you have to go to the store to grab some stuff to eat
  • But there must be some type of sale going on or something, because there are t o n s of people there
  • It’s literally hell
  • You can hear each and every footstep, whisper, even the chomping of gum. And it’s making you horribly uncomfortable, so you start bending your fingers and cracking your wrists to make it stop
  • But when that doesn’t work, you start fidgeting with your phone in your hand, running your fingers harshly over the buttons over and over, bending it in a way it probably shouldn’t be bent
  • Yoosung, who is focused on finding tasty and nutritious food, asks you your opinion on something
  • That’s when you realized you were stimming, in front of Yoosung, and in a store…
  • What if Yoosung judges you? What if he thinks its weird?!
  • You reply shakily, “o-oh uh, yeah I like t-those”
  • Oh God you’re so stupid! Why would you do that in front of him like that?! Maybe he didn’t notice… 
  • Uh oh
  • You feel tears welling in your eyes; you’re getting yourself worked up over this… 
  • “So MC, I was thinking after this we could-” Yoosung notices your eyes, and immediately starts questioning you. “MC whats wrong?!” 
  • “O-Oh nothing its okay,” you smile at him, walking ahead of him. “The air is just dry. I think I’m gonna go out to the car, I’m sorry.”
  • “Oh, um, okay… Are you sure you’re okay? We can leave and talk about it-”
  • “No, I really am okay, thank you,” you rush out of the store
  • When you finally get back to the car you start rocking back and fourth to calm yourself down
  • Now Yoosung is worrying, because of you!! 
  • Yoosung ended up following you out of the store, because he was too worried. You didn’t notice him until he opened the car door 
  • “MC, w-whats wrong?!” 
  • Oh no.
  • “D-Don’t look at me!” you hide your face in your knees, and he gets in the car and leans over to you
  • “What happened? Did I do something? MC-”
  • “If I t-tell you, you might leave me… It’s really bad…”
  • He frowns, and pulls you into his arms, “I wouldn’t leave you for the world.”
  • You tell him about stimming, but he has no idea what it is
  • So now you have to explain it to him
  • And he did not have the reaction you were expecting at all??
  • He hugs you and says, “MC, if it makes you feel better then how is it bad? I don’t care if you do that, in fact, I want you to! I don’t want you to force yourself to feel uncomfortable, ever…” 
  • He kisses you on the forehead, and says, “besides, me playing LOLOL is kinda the same, right? We both do it to feel good! I love you MC, and nothing in the whole universe can change that…”


  • Wow! You have a backstage pass to Zen’s performance! And he is literally the l e AD !!! 
  • You bought him so many flowers
  • When the show is over you head back stage to greet him
  • Wow you’re just so excited for him! This is your Zen, and he’s the main character performing in front of hundreds of people! YOUR ZEN! 
  • You can’t help yourself
  • The excitement is coursing through your veins, and you start flapping your hands rapidly
  • It’s just such a happy thing! So proud of Zenny working so hard to get where he is
  • You see him coming, and instantly women surround him
  • But you know that he’s yours and they don’t stand a chance against you, because Zen loves you with all his heart! 
  • While he’s getting showered with compliments, he finally sees you and excuses himself
  • “Wow, someone’s excited,” he laughs
  • Well of course you are! But wait… 
  • He just saw you flapping your hands… Oh no, Zen just saw you doing that!?! In public?! 
  • He doesn’t make any other comments on it though, he just scoops you up into a big hug, and spins you around
  • You try to keep up the happy facade but you’re just so… Embarrassed and disappointed in yourself that its hard 
  • But you gotta for Zen, right?
  • That night you waited for him to fall asleep before you started crying, pulling on your hair hard and digging your nails into your hand
  • Of course it’s silent so it doesn’t wake him up, but either way… You bet none of those girls around him stim like you do! Oh no, what if he hates you for it? What if-
  • “MC?” asks a groggy Zen. “Are you crying?”
  • Shit
  • “N-No, what makes you think that?” you ask, laughing slightly
  • oh but he knows.
  • He knows. 
  • “Hey, hey whats wrong?” he asks in a calm tone, sitting up and pulling you into a hug
  • “Don’t you know? You saw me do it…” you sob, holding onto his shirt tightly
  • “Huh? MC what are you talking about?”
  • You take a deep breath, and say, “you saw me flapping my hands like an idiot earlier… I probably embarrassed you… It’s okay, I don’t blame you for being embarrassed by me… I mean, imagine a super popular actor with a girlfriend who stims?! It’s just stupid and-”
  • “Whoa, whoa slow down…” he chuckles softly, stroking your hair
  • “That’s what this is about? MC… You don’t have to be embarrassed of that… I wasn’t embarrassed at all! I’m proud of you MC, I love showing you off to people… I love you MC. I love every part of you, and that includes the parts that you don’t like, too.”


  • Ever since you met Jaehee, you’ve changed her life very drastically
  • She went from being overworked, stressed, and depressed, to a hopeful and radiant young lady! All because of you
  • And now? You two are gonna own a coffee shop together!
  • However Jumin is still salty about the whole Quitting Thing, and is being very passive to Jaehe in the chat room
  • Now you care about Jaehee a lot, so this frustrates you to no end
  • Right now she’s out getting some cups for the shop for when you open, so you’re home alone
  • You start rocking back and fourth to let go of some of your aggravation
  • But you didn’t hear Jaehee come home
  • “MC, what’s wrong?” she asks when she sees you, rushing to your side
  • “O-Oh Jaehee! S-Sorry you had to see me like that, um, it’s n-nothing,” you get up and rush to the bathroom, slamming the door
  • Jaehee rushes after you, and knocks on the door, trying to open it only to learn that you locked it
  • “MC, MC, open the door, what’s wrong? Talk to me…”
  • “I’m so stupid… Please forget about that…” you mumble. “I don’t want anyone knowing….”
  • Jaehee is into Mom Mode now
  • “MC, I need you to tell me what’s wrong.”
  • “I’m whats wrong! I just wanna be normal, I don’t wanna have to stim to calm down or express stuff, I just want to be like you! I dont-”
  • “MC… That is normal. I didn’t know…”
  • “And now you’re gonna leave me right? Because it’s weird, why am I so stupid?!”
  • Jaehee knocks a little on the door, “MC it would be foolish of me to leave you for something like that… The coffee shop is opening soon, and I need you for that…”
  • You decide to just listen
  • “You helped me get out of a bad state, you helped me fight for my passion, you stood up to Jumin Han for heavens sake! No one can do that and not be scared…. But you did. You helped me in ways I couldn’t even help myself. You changed my life, MC… Now I wanna help you. Please open the door…”
  • Her words strike something in you, and for some reason, in some way, you believe her… All your life you’ve been so self conscious of your habits… 
  • Everyone has told you to not stim, but now Jaehee wants to help you embrace it? 
  • You reach up for the door handle, and open it


  • Its your birthday!! Jumin is PumPED AF 
  • He’s going to make it the BEST birthday known to MAN KI N D 
  • you’re gonna love it
  • Great food, fire works just for you, a boatload of new dresses… Maybe even some fun times in bed
  • When you open the door to his apartment, and see all that he has prepared for you, you really can’t help but feel so… Touched
  • Jumin does NOT seem like the type to do this at all! 
  • You run and jump into his arms, and he hugs you tightly
  • “I hope you like it… I want it to be special this year…” he smiles into your hair
  • You begin jumping up and down slightly, overwhelmed with happiness
  • “Jumin I love it, I love it, I love you, I love it!” you hug him tighter
  • and then you realize what you’re doing
  • you stop jumping right away, and break the hug
  • “Sorry about my little outburst there, I-I’m just really happy is all!”
  • He doesn’t get why you’re apologizing? He thought it was cute
  • “What do you mean?” he asks, concerned with the look in your eye
  • “It’s just… I’ve tried not to stim around you… It’s weird and-”
  • “Stim? What’s that mean?”
  • Oh n o now you have to explain it to him!?! this is literally your worst nightmare ever
  • “U-Uh, well… It’s kind of a thing… That some people do… To express how they feel, I guess… I don’t know, it’s really weird and stupid, I-”
  • He raises his eyebrow, confused, “It doesn’t sound weird or stupid to me? Why would you think something like that is weird? Doesn’t everyone express things in their own ways?”
  • He really isn’t grasping it
  • “W-Well yeah, but sometimes it can be weird and-” you try to explain
  • “Well all types of expression can be considered strange, MC. But I don’t think that’s odd at all?”
  • You shrug, “I’m just really self conscious, I guess… It’s just kinda… I dunno… People, including my parents, have always told me not to, and I just-”
  • “See, now that’s weird. Telling someone not to do something natural to them?”
  • He has a point….
  • “MC, if I were to do things like that, you wouldn’t dislike me, right? I love you MC… Just because you express how you feel doesn’t mean that’ll change,” he wraps his arm around your waist and kisses you
  • “Sorry if I’m making a big deal about this,” he smiles. “I guess I just don’t want you to feel negative at all, and I can tell you’re feeling really bad about this… It’s the look in your eyes that’s giving you away. I love you, MC. You’re my life… I don’t want you to think otherwise just because you think lowly of something like that… Besides, it’s your birthday. We have much to do before the night is over. So please, believe me when I say that I don’t think it’s weird or stupid at all.”
  • His words actually struck tears in your eyes??
  • “O-Okay,” you smile. “I’ll believe you.” 


  • Agent 707
  • knows 
  • all
  • He watched you over the CCTV cams every day!
  • He’s seen you rocking back and fourth, flapping your hands, the whole nine yards!
  • And he didn’t really care at all, it’s not something to be rude about or to even think about really
  • It’s just kind of…  A thing?
  • So when you were ripping on yourself for stimming in front of Seven, he was very worried
  • “MC, really, it’s not something bad, I don’t care about that, I care about you!”
  • “This is me! And I hate it, I hate how I act, I hate what I do, I just…. I hate it!”
  • “Stop,” he says softly, his heart breaking at your harsh words aimed at yourself
  • “I hate that I can’t control it and I hate that I do it! I just…”
  • “Stop…” he says again, tears welling in his eyes
  • “I just hate myself!” you shout, tears streaming down your face
  • “Stop!” he shouts, wrapping his arms around you tightly, “MC please, please don’t talk about yourself like that… I know you feel self conscious and I know you think stimming is bad, but…. it isn’t,” tears fall from his eyes, and he buries his face in your hair. “Hearing you talk about yourself like that… I don’t get it… How can you hate yourself? You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, and you’re acting like you’re the scum of the earth, but you’re not… You’re the light of my life, MC! I don’t care if you flap your hands, or rock back and fourth, its you! And I love you… I just love you so much, I can’t imagine my life without you… So please… Give yourself a chance MC… It’s not bad, or weird, or stupid… And neither are you… So don’t talk about yourself like that. I care about you so much MC… And I want you to love yourself just as much as I love you.”
Don´t Leave Me Part 1 of 4

 So, I wasn´t planning on uploading this yet, but I couldn´t wait so I figured I might as well put it out there tonight :) I don´t know yet how many parts it will have but most likely 1 or 2 more. It might be a few days before next part is up though… sorry…

I hope you enjoy :)


She opens her mouth to speak her memorized lines but she is cut off by the sound of a Taylor Swift song.

“…Cause we´re young and we´re reckless, we´ll take this way too far. It´ll leave you breathless or with a nasty scar. Got a long list of ex-lovers, they´ll tell you…”

A crewmember holds up her phone that turns out to be the source of the music. She blushes and apologizes and the guy presses “decline” and puts the phone back down.

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"Leaked Nudes" Cashton/4 (Preference)



Find @Y/N/T nudes here

That was the only thing you could see on your timeline at the moment. Photos of your nudes that you didn’t even remember sending. It couldn’t have been Ashton because you’ve never actually sent any to him. Your eyes suddenly widened as you remember your two year relationship with Elijah from six months ago. But why would he leak them. The break up was a mutual agreement, no fighting involved. You grabbed your phone and texted Elijah to meet up with you at the Cafe from down the road which he agreed to.

As you sat impatiently in the Cafe you noticed you had several calls and texts from Ashton. You couldn’t deal with him until you got to the bottom of why Elijah had leaked them. You heard the door opening and looked up to find Elijah sat in front of you. Not a thing had changed about him.

“Long time no see (y/n),” Elijah smiled.

“Not long enough apparently,” you mumbled,

“So what’s up?” he asked, taking a sip from his coffee. 

“What’s up? You leaked my fricking nudes,” you whisper-yelled at him.

“Oops,” he shrugged.

“Are you serious? Why the hell would you do something like that?” you ask, trying not to throw your iced coffee at his face.

“So Ashton will break up with you and we can be together again,” he smirks.

You stare at him in disbelief and shook your head, “Nope, I’m not doing this. You are a sick fuck,” you hiss, and tip your ice-coffee onto his head.

“Asshole,” you said, walking out.

As you walk into your house, you kick off your heels and head to the kitchen to start on dinner. You double take as you pass the lounge. 

“Ashton…what are you doing home so early?” you asked.

“Well it’s kind of hard to keep rehearsing when you find your girlfriend’s nudes all over Twitter,” he mutters.

“Ash, I’m sorry that I haven’t answer your calls or-,” you begin.

“Why? Are you cheating on me? Am I not good enough for you?” Ashton asks, sounding broken.

“No no no no no,” you said, rushing to his side.

“My stupid ex of a boyfriend leaked them because he wanted us to break up and obviously you are and I’m so sorry,” you ramble, crying into your hands.

“Hey, no I’m sorry for assuming you would cheat on me,” he whispers pulling you into a hug. The both of you sat there in silence as Ashton held you into his arms giving you soft kisses.

“How come you’ve never sent me a nude?” Ashton ask, with a cheeky smile. You roll your eyes and head off to the kitchen.

Calum: You were currently studying for your finals while Calum was upstairs trying not to distract you with his constant need for attention.

“(Y/N)!’ you heard Calum yell.

"Calum whatever it is it can wait,” you yell back, as you typed on your laptop. You heard Calum jog down the stairs as he walked into your open study room. 

“What do you need Calum?” you ask, writing down some notes. 

“I need to know why your nudes are all over Twitter,” he demands.

You look up at him as he shoves his phone in front of your face and there it was. A full frontal nude of yourself. You knew this photo all to well, It was the one your ex took of you.

“Well it’s quite simple really,” you mumble, trying to think of an excuse.

“C'mon (y/n), I know this is you but this is one has never been in my possession,” he says.

“My ex took that one of me,” you mumble, hiding your face in your hand.

“Your what?” he asks.

“My ex,” you repeated.

“Oh thank god, I thought you were cheating on me for a second,” he sighs of relief.

You look at him in confusion. “Aren’t you mad at me?” you ask.

“Well I’m sorta annoyed but it’s not your fault,” Calum shrugs as he leans in to kiss you.

You smile as you give him a kiss.

“We can be nude buddies now,” Calum cheekily says. You slap his chest and continued studying as Calum annoyed you for attention.

(A/N): Hi! Hope you like it and let me know if you want Muke :)

the one with the sleepy tears

Bucky Barnes (Winter Soldier)

Warnings: Does making out qualify as a warning? Because, spoiler alert, there is making out. Also mention of sex, but no sex because I’m an innocent child that shall not be subjected to such things. :-) 

A/N: I use the name “Ellie” because it’s my favorite character name, and I find it hard to write using “Y/N.” Ellie is going to be a recurring character, by the way. You can, of course, imagine your own name if you want, though! 

Happy reading. x

Ellie sniffled, careful to keep as quiet as possible. She swiped her fingers beneath her eyes periodically, trying to catch the tears before they dripped to her shirt. Her attempts were consecutively failing, though, as was evident by the front of her baby blue tee, which was significantly dampened.


Bucky’s voice was groggy, and Ellie jumped at the sound of it as it broke the silence of the living room, startling her in her fragile state. She swallowed and dried her cheeks as quickly as possible, and then turned her head to acknowledge his presence.

He stood by the sofa, his black t-shirt bunched up slightly in the waist of his grey joggers, his hair characteristically disheveled. Ellie spoke as normally possible, but her voice was small and meek. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“You didn’t.” He responded, running a hand through the aforementioned messy hair. “I turned and you weren’t there.” As he spoke, he stepped forward, and Ellie turned her head a bit more in a drowsy manner—just enough for the moonlight to reflect off of her teary eyes.

Bucky was across the room at once. “Ellie,” his voice was soft and alarmed. “What’s wrong? Why are you crying?”

He stopped so that he was caging her in as she sat perched on the windowsill, his legs on either side of hers. His hands, one cool and one warm, fell on her bare thighs, rubbing them gently in a comforting manner. Ellie shook her head lightly, and then let it fall into Bucky’s chest, her trembling shoulders the only sign that she had dissolved into another fit of tears.

Bucky let her cry silently for a minute or so, his metal hand falling on her lower back, his flesh one moving to run through her hair. And then, when he could no longer stand to simply sit idly as sadness literally rolled off of her in waves, he pulled back slightly and lifted her head by her chin. “What’s wrong, doll?”

Ellie sniffled, and Bucky’s chest tightened as he caught sight of her flushed cheeks, swollen lips, and glassy eyes. “It’s not a big deal.” She whispered, and his heart broke even more as her trembling voice revealed that she truly believed what she was saying.

“It is a big deal if it’s got you like this.” He countered at once. When she simply blinked at him, he bent to her level and pressed a kiss to her forehead, and then another a bit lower, repeating this until he reached the tip of her nose. He shifted directions at the last moment, though, kissing away a tear instead. He knew that when Ellie was simultaneously upset and tired, her vulnerability was close to that of a child’s, and he treated her accordingly. “Tell me, little one.” He demanded against her skin, the tone of his voice leaving no room for argument.

Ellie took a shaky breath. “It was just a dream.” She lowered her head in shame at once, feeling stupid for crying over such a silly thing. Bucky immediately guided her gaze back to him by her chin once more.

“What was it about?”

Her eyes fell to his lips. “You.” She whispered, blinking drowsily as her thoughts seemed to jumble together. His chest tightened again at this blatant display of innocence. “They always are. You…you’re h-hurt and I can’t help you, or s-sometimes your just being t-taken away b-because they think you’re bad…” Her quiet voice trailed off, and when Bucky was silent, her mind danced with nerves. “I t-told you…it’s not a big deal. Everyone g-gets nightmares.”

And then, feeling silly and childish, Ellie slipped down from the sill, her intentions set on retreating to the bedroom with her metaphorical tail between her legs. She was stopped by a metal and flesh hand—both on either side of her waist—as they lifted her back on to the window sill as if she weighed no more than a feather.

Ellie looked up to Bucky, her lips parting to give him some halfhearted excuse, but she was stopped as his slammed into hers. She gasped, but responded on instinct as he moved against her hungrily, his teeth nipping at her lower lip, his hands back on her thighs. They simply kissed for what felt like an eternity, until finally Ellie’s lungs could take no more, and she scooted back slightly, attempting to get some air.

Bucky was having none of it. His heart was thumping intensely, his mind swirling with adoration for his girl. She cared for him enough to cry over a dream about him, or to even dream about him to begin with, and that meant the world to him.

He moved with her until her back hit the window, his hands shifting to grip either side of her face as his tongue skimmed over her lip, cooling the place he had just bit. Finally Ellie’s hands pressed to his chest, pushing him and turning her head so she could pant for air. In doing so, she exposed her neck to him, and he took full advantage. His metal hand brushed her hair off her shoulder and then his lips were below her ear, working their way down, biting and sucking as they went.

“Jamie,” she breathed, her already heightened emotions peaking, her hands on his chest again.

“’m not done,” he hummed into her ear, his teeth tugging at her sensitive skin for a moment. Ellie whimpered, her legs wrapping around his waist and her hands around his neck.

He stood, his hands pressed against her back to keep her against him, and walked them to the sofa, sitting down with her on his lap. She immediately melted into him as he continued trailing kisses up and down her neck, and then he quite suddenly pulled away, and she immediately jutted her lower lip out in an exaggerated pout.

“Jamie,” she wined, her voice thick with lust, but still tainted with the drowsiness that Bucky knew was clouding her judgment.

He hummed in response, his hands falling to the hem of his black shirt, and Ellie bit her lip as he lifted it over his head, setting it the side. She leaned back into him at once, her heart rate jumping at the sight of his bare torso, her eyes wide with her sleepy innocence, but he caught her wrists with his flesh hand, clucking his tongue at her. “No, Ellie.” He scolded gently, his metal hand lifting to tuck a stray hair behind her ear. Ellie drew back at once, feeling akin to a wounded kitten. Bucky thought she looked the part, as well.

Her heart jumped once more as his hands fell to the hem of her damp, baby blue shirt, tugging it upward. “Lift, doll,” he instructed, nodding in the direction of her arms. She did as she was told, a bit confused.

And then he tossed her blue shirt away and traded it for his much larger black one, tugging it over her head and then guiding her arms through the sleeves. “There,” he murmured once she had it on, reaching forward to smooth her hair out. “All dry.”

Ellie blinked at him, her brows furrowing as she tried to figure out what just happened. Her fingers rose to brush against her neck, which was tender in numerous spots. “But…”

Bucky leaned forward at once, catching the rest of her sentence with his pastel lips. He pulled away before she could respond to the chaste kiss, though, and then he flipped them so that he was hovering over Ellie.

“When you’re tired and sad at the same time, you might as well be a child, Ellie,” he breathed, his minty breath warm against her skin. “And I’m not having sex with you when you’re a child.” And then he dipped down, pressing another kiss to the tip of her nose.

Ellie blinked up at him, trying her best to hide how her lips tugged upward in a lazy smile. “I am not a child.” She protested weakly, her follow-up pout undermining the argument.

He chuckled deeply and stood, scooping her off the couch and into his arms. “Whatever you say, little one.”

“I hate you,” she murmured, her head falling against his chest.

His chest vibrated with amusement again. “And I love you, doll.”

A/N: Hello, yes, I have just died a little inside. So, this is obviously a glimpse into a very, very progressed Bucky and Ellie relationship. You will get some angst and heavily troubled Winter Soldier, don’t worry. Like, really, don’t worry. My specialty is angsty Bucky. 


Safeguard- Luke Hemmings Imagine

Please send feedback, it means a lot to me! Constructive Criticism is appreciated(:


You slammed the door behind you, holding back the burning sensation stinging in the back of your throat. Kicking off your shoes angrily, and slamming the car keys on the little side table by the front door, you immediately stormed up the stairs and collapsed on your bed in a rush of tears. You couldn’t handle it. Why were people so mean to you? What did they have against you? You were nothing but nice to everyone, hung out around the right kind of people, and didn’t bother anyone. You didn’t deserve the rude comments spat at you in the hallways, or the shoves at the soccer field.

Sometimes you thought it was because you were dating Luke, and people were just jealous because you had the hotty of the school who played guitar and sang like a God. I mean, you would be jealous too, you guessed, but it would be innocent. You would never harm someone for who they were dating, that’s ridiculous! You laid face down on your bed, arms hanging off either side, feeling nothing but confused and hurt.

“Cuz’ I need to find you, is anybody there, who can rescue somebody like me-" without really seeing who it was, you answered your phone and sat up. “Hello?” you mumbled, sniffing and wiping away the tears that left black mascara marks on your hands. “Hi, babe. You got plans today?” you sighed lightly, trying to keep the shakiness out of your breath, Luke was the last person you wanted to talk to. You must have sighed too loud into the phone, because Luke caught on. “Y/N? Hey, are you crying?” You mentally slapped yourself. There was no way in hell you were going to tell Luke about the hatred at school. He had enough on his plate, you weren’t going to dump even more to it. 

"No, I just,” you searched your brain for the right excuse. “I’m just feeling kind of sick.” There was a long pause before Luke hummed questioningly. “So does that mean you can’t hang out?” Frustration boiled through your blood. You were sick of not having fun due to the fear of being hurt. But the unease overcame the desire to be with Luke. “Yeah, I guess.” you said, squeezing your unoccupied hand into a tight fist of anger. “Y/N, you know you can talk to me. Is something going on? I know you too well, there something else on your mind, isn’t there?” Damnit Luke. “I’m fine, just don’t worry about me, alright? I’m okay, I promise.” the words felt like poison on your tongue. Luke was being so sweet, and you were returning it with lies. “Okay,” Luke exhaled slowly. “Just call me later, then.” you nodded, even though he wouldn’t see it and hung up. 

You tossed your phone on your bed, groaning. You weren’t going to call Luke, but you knew he would, because he cared for you. He knew something was wrong, hell, just looking at you and anybody could tell there was more to it than just a pretty face. 

You had to be in your room for an hour, crying and over thinking about everything until a soft knock was heard on your door. “I’m not hungry,” you called, expecting it to be your mom. Instead, you were surprised to see Luke, slipping into your bedroom with a snapback pulling back his hair, dressed in black skinny jeans and a black jacket, with a Vans t-shirt underneath. The only thing taking away his punk appearance was the unmistakable blue eyes and blonde hair. 

“Luke! What are you doing here?” you coughed, looking away from him and quickly blinking away the tears from your eyes. You felt the bed dip beside you, and an arm surround your waist before you were pulled in his side. “Talk to me,” was all he said, looking down at you, with a soft expression. You shook your head. “I don’t want you to worry about me.” you said, which brought the tears from dripping, to pouring, and before you knew it, you were sobbing, clinging to Luke as if he was your last chance. Which, in your eyes, he really was.

Luke knew not to pester you with questions, so he just held you, rubbing your back and tangling his other hand in your hair. “Y/N, it’s my job to worry about you. You can tell me anything, you know that. Don’t feel like it’s a hassle to worry about you, because I do it whether I realize it or not.” His t-shirt sucked up most of the moisture on you face, and you began whimpering out all the things you kept inside your head. From the bruises that covered your shoulder blades, to emotional scars that appeared from the harsh words you heard everyday. 

You spilled everything out to him, feeling the tears stop their flow. Luke didn’t say anything for a while, just soaking in all the information you had just told him. In his perspective, he couldn’t believe it. You were funny, beautiful, and so amazing, from the way you smiled to the way you laughed at all his stupid joked, and everything in between. Even before he met you he felt like he was in love with you, there was nothing not to like about you. How could people be treating his baby girl like that?

He kissed your forehead, pulling you to your feet with him, and then brought you to his chest, holding you. “I don’t like to see you upset, and I’m not going to let this go until I can see that pretty smile again, yeah?” he said, looking down at you, and began tickling your sides. No matter how much you tried to fight it, you ended up bursting into a fit of laughter, pushing him away from you. “Stop! It tickles!” Luke chuckled at you, softly pushing you down against the bed, hovering over you with his long fingers moving up and down your arms. “Really? Does tickling tickle?” you kicked him playfully, giggling on repeat. Luke just shook his head, placing another kiss to your head. “Now, who are these people? Is there more than one?” He turned back to serious, pulling you onto his lap, and resting is chin on your shoulder.  You nodded. “Manly just this one group. I don’t even really know who they are.” Luke nodded. “Well, I’ll find them. For now, let’s just forget about it. Take a walk with me, we can go get some ice cream.” You smiled. How he could make you fell 100 percent better in a short amount of time was beyond your comprehension, but you didn’t question it. You took his hand as he led you down the stairs and out into the warm air.

The relationship you and Luke shared was powerful. You walked to the ice cream shop in silence, holding hands and admiring each others company. Luke knew you weren’t in the best of moods, and he didn’t want to risk bringing something up that could trigger your sadness again, and you didn’t want to annoy him, even if he did say that it was his job to worry about you.

“I don’t have any money, Luke.” you said, feeling bad. “Why should a princess have to pay?” he said, smiling and kissing your lips quickly. You grinned. “Thank you…” you said before trailing off and coming to a halt. Luke didn’t see you stop at first, and accidentally pulled you forward. “You coming?” He said, turning back to you.

You froze, feeling your head start to throb and your hands start to shake. Luke must have felt it, he looked down at your intertwined hands and then back at you, where he followed your gaze all the way to the benches sitting outside the ice cream shop. Luke walked back to you, looking into your alarmed eyes. “Is that them? The people who bully you?” Luke asked discreetly, trying to block the view of the group of teenagers glaring at you. You nodded, the grip on Luke’s hand tightening. Luke growled under his breath, bringing you close to his side. “We can go somewhere else, but I’m going to talk to them first. “ 

“No!” you slip, not wanting to yell. “Don’t, Luke, please. Let’s just somewhere else, alright?” you then whispered. Luke sighed. “This isn’t going to get any better if you don’t let me stick up for you.” you just shook your head at him. “I don’t want them to hate you too.” Luke scoffed at this. “Babe, I’m going to have to deal with people not liking me until the day I die. Everyone does. You have to not let it bother you. I guess I can cope with it well because I’ve been dealing with it my whole life, but I’ve learned that you have to stick up for yourself. So, I’m going to do that, because I love you.” He said with a small smile, trying his best to comfort you. You just nodded. “Now stay here, I don’t want you being around them. Things might get messy.” You nod once more, watching him walk off.. You didn’t realize he said ‘things might get messy’ until he was already at the table, and your eyes went wide. The last thing you needed was to witness a fight, especially if the fight was caused because of you.

You watched, with you hands under your chin in anticipation. Luke seemed chill, there was no punches being thrown, and no angry, disgusted looks being exchanged. Luke was charming, and you assumed that was what he was doing, sucking up to them and pointing out the negative outcomes of bullying.

You looked behind you, feeling superstitious. What if someone was behind you? Sneaking up to hurt you? You took a deep breath, closing your eyes for only a moment when you heard a loud grunt and the crack of wood. You gasped, opening your eyes and turning to Luke.

“Luke!” you screeched. One of the boys face was covered in blood, and so was the wooden picnic table. “So lay the fuck off!” you heard Luke, his hoarse, angry Australian accent spilling from his lips. You thought he was hurt, but really, Luke was the one who hurt them. The group all looked at you, with open mouths and wide eyes. No death defying glares, no threatening movements.

Luke walked back to you, his eyes dim and heated with hateful emotions towards the group.

“Let’s go somewhere else.” he spat, grabbing you by the arm. “What just happened?” you yelled. Luke rolled his eyes. “I might have gave him a concussion from slamming his head to the table, but I promise, he’ll be leaving you alone.” You couldn’t fight the smile that tugged at your lips. Luke being so protective sort of turned you on. You wrapped your arms around his waist, saying, “You didn’t have to hurt him, you know.” Luke shrugged, smiling down at you. “Hey, the knight in shining armor has to protect the princess at all cost, right?”  

Punk Rock Rae

a/n- I don’t even know.

He’s not sure but he thinks he’s having a stroke.

There’s a brief moment where he wishes he would have paid less attention to the diagrams of vaginas and breasts and more attention to the warning signs of strokes and seizures in health class. He didn’t though but he does remember that two of the signs of a stroke are a drooping mouth and slurred speech. His fingertips find his mouth in a tight line and the what the fuck that drops from his lips definitely isn’t slurred.

Rae, his beautiful punk rock goddess, is sitting at a table all by herself. Her being alone isn’t the part that makes him think he’s having a stroke (Rae likes to be alone a lot). No, it’s the fact that she’s got her hair in a braid and she’s wearing a fucking cream colored top and black skirt that doesn’t even have a hint of lace that’s giving him weird heart palpitations.

He has weird dreams sometimes (mostly involving his wayward mother) where he spots someone he knows out in a crowd and when he reaches them, they turn into a monster. So he’s careful in his approach because as much as he wants this to be a dream, he also doesn’t want to wake up drenched in sweat with his heart beating a hundred miles an hour. He’s almost to her when she spots him and for a second, he face reads oh, fuck before she puts on a smile and waves. Gone is her eyeliner and red lipstick and nose ring. In their place is soft, shimmery make up (he idly wonders if Chloe and Izzy is behind this makeover) and pink lip gloss.

When he slips in the seat across from her and says her name softly, she fidgets a little. “Don’t suppose I could convince you I’m Rae’s twin, could I?”

“I think at this point, I could be convinced of anything.” He notices she winces at his words.

“I know I look ridiculous.”

“No, you look beautiful. You always look beautiful. It’s just different.””

“I look like I raided my mum’s closet,” she rolls her eyes. “Which is exactly what I did.”

He wants to ask her what she’s doing but he figures it’s probably none of his business what she wears or what she’s doing and even if he wanted to, he couldn’t ask because his tongue has adhered to the roof of his mouth.

“I’m meeting my dad,” she supplies when the silence becomes overwhelming.

“Karim?” The confusion is evident in his voice.

“No. My rea- I mean, my biological dad.”

The news hits him like a ton of bricks. Her biological father. She was meeting him? Surely he had heard her wrong. “I thought he lived in Scotland?”

“Apparently, he’s been in Lincolnshire the whole time.”

“And he’s never tired to get in contact with you?”

“Well… I mean, you know how my mum is. I found his address on a card in her purse and I rang him. He said he wanted to meet up.”

Finn’s still unsure. “But why now? And why are you dressed like this for him?”

Her mouth sets in a firm line and she crosses her arms in front of her chest, not meeting his eye. “He’ll be here any second. You should probably go.”

It’s the first dismissal she’s ever given him and it stings enough that his shoulders hunch. She tries to lessen the blow with a smile. “I’ll see you tonight, right?”

He nods, trying to recover from both her weird behavior and the fact that she just told him to leave. “Yeah, I’ll pick you up at seven.”

When he gets home, he goes straight upstairs and throws himself face first on his bed because he’s got a pounding headache. Why would she ever want to meet her scumbag father? This was the same man who up and left Linda with a two year old and no money. The same man who never sent any child support, who had never tried to get in touch with his daughter. This was the man who had made Rae cry without ever lifting a finger, the reason she had trust issues, the reason she doubted every move Finn made because she couldn’t imagine a man doing anything out of love. And for her to find out that he’s been around this entire time and has ignored her very existence and still want to meet him? Finn had half a mind to go back and punch the man’s lights out but Rae had seemed so insulted by his lack of understanding that he was 100% sure she would head butt him (and kill him on impact).

His head still has a tinge of pain when he leaves to pick her up but when she comes out of the house in a dark purple lace dress. Her nylons are torn but they are pretty sheer and it’s just as good. Suddenly, his mood isn’t so foul and he’s wondering if they could just skip the pub and find somewhere to park. She asks him what he did all day and he doesn’t have the heart to tell her he laid in bed and worried about her mental state all afternoon, so he just shrugs and mumbles something about listening to records and he doesn’t ask her how things went with her father because if he’s honest, he doesn’t want to know. Either the guy was an ass (and Finn needed to punch him) or he showed up and probably fed her a bunch of excuses as to why he was never around (and Finn needed to punch him).

“Do you mind if we stop by the tattoo shop? I lost my nose ring and need to get another.”

He doesn’t know why he can’t keep his mouth shut, but he mumbles something about probably shouldn’t have taken it out to begin with and he knows he’s in trouble when she shakes her head and crosses her arms. “Never mind, I’ll go tomorrow.”

“I don’t… I didn’t mean…”

“Just forget it.”

“It’s right on the way, Rae. Really.”

“I said no,” she snaps.

“Fine, whatever.”

(The rest of the night, they barely talk.)

They don’t fight like this. They just don’t. Finn knows they’ve had their arguments but things usually get resolved pretty fast. But this… this has been rocking on for days. It’s a weird feeling, not knowing what’s going on in her head because she never goes to the tattoo shop to get another nose ring and one day she shows up to college in a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, no make-up and people gawk at her and her friends question her and it’s the first time Finn truly and utterly avoids her (he doesn’t even try to catch a glimpse of her).

It’s other things, too. There’s a tense feeling in Rae’s house when Finn stops by one day and it’s apparent that Linda and Rae have both been crying and Karim tries to explain to Finn that “my girls they fight” and when Finn tries to question Rae on it, she tells him she has to meet her dad for tea and they will talk later. They never do, though, because she doesn’t call.

Two weeks into this madness, she finally tells Finn that Linda is pregnant. “At her age, can you imagine?” And while she’s thrilled for a new baby, Finn can also tell there’s some doubt in her mind because it was hard enough to adjust to Karim when it had been just her and Linda for so long… how was she supposed to adapt to a new baby?

“Is this why you’re hanging out with…” he always lets the sentence trail off when it comes to her biological dad because Finn refuses to call him her dad or even acknowledge that the bastard has a name.

“No, not at all.” But he can tell she means yes. “I just don’t think it’s fair that she’s kept me from him for so long.”

“Who? Your mum?” Finn has a soft spot for Linda (for all mother’s, really) and he knows Rae loves her and can’t imagine why there’s such a sudden rift between mother and daughter. “Rae, he’s lived here your entire life. I don’t think it’s your mum’s fault.”

“He told me that he stayed away because he didn’t want to step on her toes. She’s so overbearing… that’s the reason he left! She acts so stupid about everything and-“ Her mouth falls open, words halt when he stands up from the table and grabs his bag. “What are you doing?”

“I love you, Rae. I do. But I can’t sit here and listen to you put your mum down like this. It’s not right and you know it. I really can’t believe you’d believe him over her.”

They don’t talk for a week.

He misses her. He really does and he knows she misses him because on the fifth day of them not talking, she sends a mix tape to him through Chloe called the “We’re Both Dickheads” mix. He calls her that night and they don’t say much of anything but listening to her breathe is enough for the moment because he is missing all of her sounds. He picks her up the next night and they don’t do much more than just kiss in his backseat until it’s time to meet the gang. He listens as she tells Chloe that her dad forgot to tell her he was going out of town and a fury begins to build inside of Finn because he’s known all along that it would eventually come to this. The same happened with his own mother. She had wanted him in her life for a spell and then she was gone again and he didn’t want the same to happen to Rae.

It’s a mistake to try and talk her out of seeing her Dad. He realizes this when she’s crying, when she slams the car door and tells him to stay away from her, that it’s over between them and he can go fuck himself. He started out with good intentions, only telling her what was on his heart because he loved her and then her temper had flared and so did his.

“Do you think it’s the best thing for you right now? I mean, seeing your…” he trailed off again.

“He’s my father.”

“He hasn’t been for 15 years. Rae, I just don’t want him to hurt you again.”

“You sound just like my mother,” she rolls her eyes.

“Well, I would think you would listen to her since she’s had more experience with this twat than you have.”

Even without her eyeliner, without the nose ring, and the clothes, she’s still the same Punk Rock Rae in attitude and her glare cuts him like a knife. “Don’t you call my father that! What if I called your mum a bitch?”

“She is, so you would be right. The only difference is, I can fully admit that my mum doesn’t want me but you are too fucking stupid to realize your dad still doesn’t want you!”

“Well, I can see why she doesn’t want you!”

They’ve both said things they don’t mean (and both of them are already wishing for a rewind button) but it’s too late and tempers are too high and his next words cut down to the bone, the way he intended. “Yeah, well I get why your mum wanted another baby. Maybe this one will turn out normal.”

He sits in her driveway for a long time after that and thinks about knocking on her door, apologizing. Two wrongs don’t make a right and what he said was nasty and out of line but her words weren’t much better. Maybe this was for the best, anyway. Maybe everyone was right. Maybe Finnley the Grumpy Sod and Rae the Punk Rock Goddess didn’t make enough sense to last.

She’s not at college the next day.

Or the next.

Chloe is avoiding him like he’s got the plague and the one time he manages to corner her, she stares him down so fiercely that his words die on his lips and he allows her to push past him because he knows she’s not going to pass any messages to Rae for him.

She’s back in school on Thursday and she breezes past him in a pair of fishnets and boots, acts like he isn’t there and she smiles at the guy with the blue Mohawk (the same guy who told Finn he wanted to fuck Rae against a wall and Finn had to punch him) and it’s all so surreal that Finn has to escape to the bathroom and splash water on his face to catch his breath because even though he had thought for a brief moment that they didn’t make sense together, she’s all he wants.

He tries to call her but Linda picks up and tells him she has no idea where Rae is. “She doesn’t talk to me anymore. We’ve never fought like this, Finn. What the hell is going on with her?”

“I think it’s her dad, honestly.”

“I hate that man,” Linda seethes into the phone. “The only good thing he gave me was Rae and now he’s trying to take her away.”

“I don’t think this will last with him.”

Linda is quiet for a moment before she starts crying into the phone. “That’s what I’m worried about.”

Finn is worried about it, too. So worried that several times a day, he has to place his hands on a flat surface because his stomach starts doing somersaults at the thought of who was going to pick up the pieces of Rae when her dad finally broke her? She was too proud to let Linda and she wasn’t giving Finn the chance to even breathe near her.

He gets Archie to deliver a mix to her, a You Deserve Better mix and an apology note that took him an hour to write because he couldn’t find the right words. Archie tells him she threw it straight into the trash and told him not to pull that shit again or she’d cut him out, too. “She’s just too punk rock to care, Finn. She’s not your average girl. Remember that.”

Remembering that becomes a daily chore. She didn’t want some timid boy chasing her skirt and that’s what he had been doing. Sending others after, leaving her messages with Linda. He figures it’s time to pull out the big guns and man up and just fuckin’ tell her how he feels.

But then she stops coming to school again.

And Chloe hasn’t heard from her.

And neither has Archie.

No one picks up at her house and he figures it’s a now or never situation and he skips school to track her down. Karim answers the door and he looks so sad when he lets Finn in, doesn’t say a word, just points upstairs.

The Smiths are playing and it’s a bad sign. She had told him once that The Smiths made her want to slit her wrists and he had laughed at the time but he’s not laughing now. When he knocks on the door, she calls out “Mum, please. I just want to be alone.” Her voice sounds watery.

He lets himself in and takes in the sight of her. Messy hair, tear stained face, and red, puffy eyes. She wasn’t sick, she had been crying and by the looks of it, she had been crying a lot. He means to say something but his heart is breaking and his throat is closing up and she tries to glare but it gets lost in her tears.

“Are you… no, you’re not ok.” Finn shuts the door and sits on the edge of her bed. “Rae… I-“

“I’m a horrible person,” she tells him, tears leaking out of the corner of her eyes. “I really am. I have no idea why you’re even here.”

“You’re not a horrible person.”

“I said awful things to you and my mum and Karim. I didn’t mean any of it, I swear. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I’m sorry, though. I really am. I can’t believe how terrible I’ve been.”

“I said some really bad things, too.”

She shakes her head. “It’s my fault, though. Everyone kept trying to warn me about him and I just insisted on being in his life. I just… I felt like it wasn’t fair that the new baby was going to have a father and I still didn’t. I should have known better, really. You were right when you said he never wanted me and you’re probably right about my mum wanting a chance at a normal kid, too.”

He winces when she starts to cry again because he knows he’s just as guilty as her father is. “I never should have said that, Rae. I was angry and I… I didn’t mean it. I just…”

“I wasn’t listening. I never do.”

“I still didn’t have the right to say it.”

“I didn’t have the right to say what I did about your mum,” she looks at him and the tears really start them (it makes him nervous because he’s never been good with tears). “I don’t understand how she could leave you. I really don’t. You’re the best person I know.”

“Then you don’t know enough people,” he doesn’t wait for an invitation, he just scoots closer and wraps her up in his arms. “I am truly sorry about what I said.”

“We’re both dickheads.”

He holds her for a long time before she tells him about what happened with her dad. The man had taken to canceling plans without actually canceling them. He just stops showing up, stops answering her calls. He rang her once to tell her he was sorry but things had come up and maybe they could chat later or catch up, but that had been a week ago.

“Then I ran into him last night at market. He looked at me like I was a freak of nature. I shouldn’t have gone into meeting him looking like mum. If I had let him know right from the start that I’m the biggest freak in Lincolnshire, none of this would have happened because he would have taken one look at me and ran the other way.”

“You’re not the biggest freak. I’ve seen your friends pierce their-“

“That was one time!”

“Archie still has nightmares.”

When she’s stopped laughing and starts crying again, he reaches over to hit play on her tape player (not the CD player because she doesn’t need The Smiths right now) and a very familiar tape starts playing and even though she’s crying, she manages a smile and ducks her head into the crook of his neck. It’s the You Deserve Better mix. “You didn’t throw it away?”

“Archie thought I did. You’re not as shit with words as you think.”

(He notices his apology letter is taped to the side of her nightstand and he’s embarrassed but elated that she’d keep it so close.)

Finn goes over everything he wants to do to her dad. The list starts with slashing his tires and egging his house and ends with a punch. He runs this plan by her and she laughs and adds to it, but in the end tells him not to worry about it because she figures it’s just one of those rough life lessons she had to learn.

“But you have to go right now,” she tells him, pulling away and wiping her eyes dry.

He balks a little, goes to protest, but she silences him with a kiss. “I’ll leave my window open tonight if you want, but right now I need to apologize to my mum and to Karim. I mean, seriously apologize.”

She walks him to his car and kisses him thoroughly and he pulls a little box out of his back pocket and hands it to her. “What’s this?”

He shrugs. “Open it.”

When she sees what’s inside, she laughs and her eyes start to sparkle again and she’s sparking back to life and he knows he’s never going to see her in cream colored anything ever again because his Punk Goddess is back with a motherfucking vengeance. She takes the tiny silver nose ring out of the box and kisses his neck until he can’t see straight and then whispers, “We need eggs. Lots of eggs for tonight. You game?”

(And when she lobs the first egg at her father’s house, Linda laughs and says something about being a dysfunctional family and Finn has never been so proud to be a part of something so wrong.)