exchristian

List of good feelings after leaving religion:

- finally figuring a problem out after spending ages on it and knowing you did it on your own 

- connecting with people on a human level and learning from them now that you’re not trying to convert them

- finally being proud of yourself for accomplishing things

- actually noticing and enjoying the little things the world has to offer without feeling separate from everything

- planning your future the way you want it and without worrying about the world ending

- no longer trying to force or suppress emotions

- making decisions based on the facts in front of you and what you want, without asking god or church leaders or thinking about what they would want

- actually being an authentic person

- little things like how you wear your hair and what clothes you choose to wear reflect who you are now

- your choices reflect your character and morals now, not god’s

- learning about evolution and realizing you are connected to every living thing after spending your life feeling isolated

- “I don’t know” isn’t terrifying anymore and it follows with “well let’s find out”

- challenging your views without fear and guilt

- realizing the world isn’t this terrible, scary, corrupting place and knowing your actions can make it better

- your smiles are genuine now and not just a way to let others see the “truth” through you

- feeling connected to and caring about others much more now that you no longer judge everyone you meet

- the feeling you get from helping people is so much more rewarding then the feeling you got from praying for them

- knowing if you choose to have a family at some point, it will be because you genuinely love them and wanted them

- trying your best because this life is all you have, it isn’t just a trivial test

- your dating life and sex life are entirely your choice now and no one is watching you unless you want them to

- pursuing your passions regardless of whether they follow gender norms or what your church thinks

- standing up for yourself and feeling pride after, not guilt

- swearing is very satisfying

- feeling compassion for people now in place of condescension 

- you don’t have to worry about being someone else’s idea of perfect

There are things you were indoctrinated into that go much deeper than “there is a God,” that it takes you much longer to start to let go of. Like the idea that you’re sinning in every moment, in action and inaction. Like the idea that your nature is evil. Like the idea that it’s good to be selfless and a servant to all.

Reasons why I’m exmormon

  1. Women are excluded from the priesthood and are not given an equivalent option (motherhood is the equivalent of fatherhood, try again)
  2. Human sexuality is a natural and good part of life. Marriage is a patriarchal custom with roots in selling women’s bodies/treating us as commodities to be owned. Bisexuality, homosexuality, heterosexuality are all natural. Marriage is lame.
  3. Doubt ur doubts before you doubt your faith - there are so many things wrong with this. Blind Faith - in an institution or person or religion - leaves you vulnerable to abuse. An abuser will tell you “just believe me, I do love you” just like someone who does love you would say.
  4. By their fruits ye shall know them. Suicide rates. Worthiness interviews. No openness about church finances. Extortion (u will not get into super VIP heaven if you don’t give us money).
  5. Temples. The lds corporation church calls itself a humanitarian org but spends so much more money on temples and real estate holdings then actually helping people
  6. Meddling in politics. Proof - things like a social media fast before election season. Putting moral/religious value on political things. Drafting legislation in Utah.
  7. Purity culture. Modesty (do you really think your idiotic virtue signalling is more modest than me wearing a tank top?). ‘men depend on u ladies to dress modestly, otherwise you’re walking pornography’
  8. Coffee. Much healthier for you than soft drinks
  9. Lying about the word of wisdom. Y'all lie about it. The abstinence movement/prohibition started growing before the WOW came out. Abstaining from hard liquor wasn’t a new revolutionary concept, and it’s disingenuous to pretend the Mormons were the first ones to say hot drinks were bad. It was pretty much a Protestant thing.
  10. Polygamy. Sending men on missions and marrying their wives. Marrying fourteen year old girls behind your wife’s back.
  11. Priesthood ban. Saying black people were less valiant in the premortal life. Saying native Americans were cursed with dark skin because of the sins of their fathers
  12. Homophobia. Conversion therapy rhetoric. Love the sinner, hate the sin.
  13. The family proclamation. Like the word of wisdom, Mormons pretend it was revolutionary and unprecedented. It wasn’t. It came out in 1995. That’s when the gay rights movement really started to pick up. It wasn’t “way before the gay rights movement” or whatever. Women have been asking for priesthood, gays have been asking for the right to get married, for decades. The family proclamation was reactionary, not a proactive statement
  14. Plus, it’s sexist as fuck. Woman = nurturing? Man = head of the family? Not just stereotypes, but actively placing men into positions of power over women. And let’s not even go into the transmisogyny of the church.
  15. Refusal of facts, denial of verifiable history, etc. Or maybe y'all don’t care about any of this stuff.
  16. Good Mormons are good people in spite of Mormonism, not because of it.

a friend of mine recommended me videos by youtuber theramintrees and after watching his videos i have to say that these are a great watch for any ex-christian or person in the process of deconversion, or anyone at all in fact. he concisely covers manipulation by religion, how programming occurs, abuse and how it’s concealed, fallacies in scripture, and more. if you’re grappling and struggling with doubts about yourself and your view on religion his videos will help clear the fog. and for any christians who read this, i encourage that you watch them as well so you can look at your own faith through a critical lens as well. it’s important to have knowledge of ways you could be being manipulated as well as things that you shouldn’t be doing towards other people (such as child indoctrination).

Deep down, you don’t understand what it means for two people to be equal in status. You learned that all relationships are based on dominance and submission, even for as little a difference as one person being slightly older. Women submit to men, younger people submit to their elders, employees submit to bosses, everyone submits to church leadership and government authorities (unless they’re liberal). In the world you came from, equality does not exist.

Hot take:
  1. Mormons (and probably members of other religions, I just know Mormonism theology best) are told “we have endured many things, and hope to be able to endure all things.” (Articles of Faith 1:13)
  2. The relationship between Christianity and God/Jesus is compared to a marriage multiple times. 
  3. These are harmful ideas. 
    1. First, simply enduring is not always the best, healthiest option. Women abused by their husbands, fathers, or boyfriends do not need to “endure” it. They need to be given tools to escape. If you are mentally, physically, or emotionally hurt by any situation you are in, “enduring” is the last fucking thing you should do
    2. A marriage? In what way? A marriage, in today’s world, should not have a power imbalance. There aren’t commandments given by one, and sacrifices made by the other. If a married couple had a relationship like this, we’d call it like it is: manipulative, abusive, unequal, harmful, and unfair.

My faith taught me that all other faiths were incompatible with ours. If our faith was true, then all other faiths had to be false, and if any other faith were true, then ours had to be wrong.

But if that is so, then it also holds true for the messages they gave about those who leave the faith.

What I mean by that is this: I was taught that those that walked away from our faith — and by our faith I mean specifically Protestant Christianity with an emphasis on Evangelical — would face difficulties and hardships because they were no longer living their life for God. Their lives would end up in shambles because they decided to make their own decisions, rather than letting their lives be dictated by God. And sometimes — if God really loved them and wanted them back — he might break them down, take everything good away from them until the only thing they could do was fall on their knees and beg him for salvation.

But mine was not the only faith that taught that. There are plenty of other faith’s outside of what we narrowly defined as “true Christianity” that teach this very same thing about their deconverts. But they can’t all be true — you from some other faith tradition who was taught you would suffer for deconverting can’t be true if only mine was the genuine faith. If we had the real God, the real God cannot punish someone for turning their back on a faith that never actually worshiped the real God. And certainly would not attempt to try and break you down so you would go back to your fake faith.

And likewise, if your faith is actually correct and mine was false, the same holds true. Nothing that every is happening to me now — good or bad — could be any attempt by God to make me to return to my faith if my faith was the one that was in error.

I think we should take comfort and strength in the knowledge that so many of us deconverts from across the faith pond all received such similar messages both when we were in, and when we left, our faith. Because that, I think, helps solidify how much these messages were not unique messages from a faith that had “The Truth” but rather exactly what a restrictive environment would say to keep you “in the fold.”

Every new year’s, I’m reminded of the fact that my Evangelical Christian faith taught that the only way you could succeed at anything, or better yourself at all, is if you recognized you could do nothing by your own will, strength, or power.

It’s a premise that only works if you live solely in Evangelical Christianland, whereby all success is God and all failure is human. I’ve been privy to that exact logic: I failed and that meant God didn’t want me to do this. I succeeded, but it’s actually all God. Therefore, the Bible is right, I can’t do anything without God.

If that were the case then we would easily to be able to see the line between true committed Christians and everyone else. Only Christians could be successful, only Christians could do well, only Christians could have good character.

This is, of course, what I was taught as a Christian, because I was taught that “the world” was made up of people who only cared about 1) instant gratification 2) self-pleasure at the expense of others 3) no long term sense of moral obligation to anyone but yourself.

This is obviously not how the world operates. If I look at someone and I think: they’re thoughtful, considerate, they care about others, they make goals and then achieve them, they have a strong sense of morality and character, my next logical thought is not, that’s because they’re an Evangelical Christian who could only do that because of their reliance on Christ. It is not the accurate, reliable inference of those character traits.

Despite the fact that the lore I grew up with was that “the world” would be falling over themselves trying to figure out just what it was that we Christians had that they didn’t, I don’t think I’ve ever seen or met a Christian since my deconversion that I was envious of because they had something I thought I couldn’t achieve or that there was something about their character or success that only something supernatural could cause.

People change a lot if they want to change, if they know the steps to change, and they do anything toward it. That’s all that goes into it. Even if it’s slow going, even if you fail at a stated goal, but still achieve more than before–which I bet is a fairly common definition of “failure”–you’ve made proactive change.

“Intentionality” (a word that has started to feel so Jesus-y, I nearly hate it) does not actually belong to Christianity. It’s plain to see that you can make changes without God, because plenty of people do, everyday, all the time. Failure doesn’t mean that you can’t succeed, it means that you had unrealistic goals, or you didn’t have the means to reach your goals, or you couldn’t do those things, or you didn’t break your goals down into achievable steps; it means all sorts of things but “you need God to do anything.” Humans have resolve. They have strength, they have the ability to be proactive and intentional, to care about others and think long term. And they can do it constantly. And consistently. Without God.

why do so many religious people claim that without a god, we could have no morality? no empathy?
animals that have no concept of a higher power have been seen protecting and caring for each other simply because they’re all alike in the fact that they’re alive and have feelings

why do you think everyone has the desire to harm their own kind? i mean i dunno about you but i don’t really like the idea of making anyone suffer regardless of if a book is telling me it’s a bad thing to do or not

anonymous asked:

I've been drifting away from the faith for six years, but I'm just now realizing how horribly abusive God sounds. Replace his name with "my husband": "I don't know what's best for me, my husband does." "I must empty myself and do whatever my husband wants me to do, be whoever he wants me to be." "My husband thinks I'm an irredeemable, awful human being, even though he can't give me a reason why, and will do horrendous things to me for eternity if I don't grovel. I'm so lucky he loves me."

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When I was a Christian, some of it made sense
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When I left religion, I didn’t make sense
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When I was deprogramming, none of it made sense
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When I started to recover, I made sense
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When I became an Atheist, not believing made sense
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“Proud” from my “Foibles & Fiction” EP available NOW - link in bio 🎧
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Full music video on YouTube 🎬
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