exchange problems

Dear baby exchange students,

Yeah you, the ones who are so excited to fly away in just a few months or weeks. Take a deep breath, this is really exciting - I know! Here’s a few tips from a girl who is not ready to leave her host country, hopefully they are a bit different from the “don’t hide in your room” tips you always hear:

1. Take photos. Of everything. A good meal, your friends, a dog you see on the street. Do not be embarrassed to take selfies in front of random things. The locals won’t get it, but they don’t have to.

2. Eat the scary thing. It might be nasty, it might be amazing - either way you have a story.

3. Don’t take a single moment de granted. Because one day you won’t see that view of the town on your long, rainy walk home. You will miss it.

4. Exchange weight is whatever. Eat all the things. Eat Japanese sweets and Italian pasta with your friends until your stomach hurts from good food and laughing.

5. A good way to make friends is just tagging along. My best friends here, I made by pretty much following them around for weeks until I became a part of the friend-clique. It works!

6. Take a deep breath. Some days, everything will suck. Remember how lucky you are to explore the world.

7. Go to school. But also skip class. Be lagom, as the Swedes say. It doesn’t translate to English properly, but it means not too much, not too little - just right.

8. Remember that you go through 5 years worth of growth in exchange. That comes with five years of emotions in one year. Feel these intense feelings, and roll with them. Let them come. It will make you better.

Good luck, my little exchangers! You’ve got the world ahead of you - go take it all in!

Interstellar Cultural Exchange

A problem that we might have is the importance of food. There are certain things that I’m quite certain will be constant from culture to culture, and, barring the possibility of aliens taking control of  their evolution in such a way that they no longer need to eat, I think food would be one of them.

People would be careful in the beginning, but eventually some people would break more and more quarantine and contraband laws, resulting in unusual fusion which we might not be able to predict.

“What’s this apple-looking thing I’m eating?” 

“It’s actually an animal that sucks sap out of trees. Think of it as a vegetarian tick.”

“What is that?”

“It’s called chocolate, want some?”

***Two Hours Later***

“I see colors!”

“Chocolate is space cocaine. Got it.”

“Human, I have made gumbo using ingredients from my planet. Would you like some?”

“Isn’t your biome arsenic-based?”

“Your point?”

“Want some chips?”

“Are you insane human!? That has SALT in it! Are you trying to kill me!?”

nightmaresans1  asked:

you can draw whatever emotion for nightmare just make him ina grumpy additude :)

Grumpy cat, check!

Actually, I kinda got overboard with this one. I swear I wanted it to be one of the poses from the expression meme, but it turned out completely different than expected. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Nightmare Sans belongs to @jokublog

“Why, you will go home and then you will find that home is not home anymore. Then you will really be in trouble. As long as you stay here, you can always think: ‘One day I will go home.’” He played with my thumb and grinned. “N'est-ce pas?”

“Beautiful logic,” I said. “You mean I have a home to go to as long as I don’t go there?”

He laughed. “Well, isn’t it true? You don’t have a home until you leave it and then, when you have left it, you never can go back.”

—  Giovanni’s Room, by James Baldwin

The fatter of the two [guards] hesitated, and then held out his hand.
“Pisspot,” he said.
“Inigo?” said Vimes quietly, without turning his head.
“Ah,” said Inigo, after some muttered exchanges. “Now the problem seems to be Sergeant Detritus. No trolls are allowed in this part of town during the hours of daylight, apparently, without a passport signed by their… owner. Uh… in Bonk the only trolls allowed are prisoners of war. They have to carry identification.”
“Detritus is a citizen of Ankh-Morpork and my sergeant,” said Vimes.
“However, he is a troll. Perhaps in the interests of diplomacy you could write a short–”
“Do I need a pisspot?”
“A passport… no, Your Grace.”
“Then he doesn’t, either.”
“Nevertheless, Your Grace–”
“There is no nevertheless.”
“But it may be advisable to–”
“There’s no advisable, either.” 

– Vimes diplomacy | Terry Pratchett, The Fifth Elephant

Are you serious?

Really? I mean come on.

My host dad just lectured me about being healthy. I told him that in America I don’t really walk anywhere because it is so spread out. I walked home from school one time and it took me and hour and a half, and I live kind of close. He said that it’s healthy to walk and here they are very healthy blah blah blah.

But to top it all off, as he was saying this we were eating lunch. We were eating beans and bacon. Literally just some kidney beans and little pieces of bacon. But even worse is the fact that as he was saying he was healthy and I have to learn to be healthy he was pouring bacon grease all over the beans on his plate, then piling on pickles and onions soaked in vinegar.