Hi, I have no one else to talk to about csa, I haven't told anyone except my boyfriend. Except when I told him that I couldn't stop thinking about what happened to me and that the memories were bad today he said "you're playing on this way too much" . It made me upset to read it but am I overreacting? I dont have anyone else to ask and i feel like I can't stay mad at him because I have no one else to talk to about it. I'm sorry if I'm bothering you :/
I’m sorry for the late response and I promise you’re not bothering me. I’m here to listen and help as best I can. Let me preface this by saying I am not a medical professional and please take anything anyone on the Internet says to you with a grain of salt. Now. I wouldn’t consider that an overreaction. You feeling upset is completely valid.
I spent about 22 years “playing on” the abuse I experienced in my past. And therapy can be a really scary thing. You’re opening a wound that you’ve forced closed. Going to therapy is a lot like a doctor having to re-break a bone that has healed incorrectly. Sure it’s still your finger, but it isn’t functioning to the best of its ability. A therapist/counselor/psychiatrist won’t make things perfect or “cure” you. But they will give you the tools to re-break your soul and set it on a path of healing. (Sorry for the lame analogy.)
Basically what I’m saying dear is cas is something that happened to you. It was beyond your control. You will be stuck on it until you acquire the tools to heal yourself.
I hope this was at least somewhat helpful. Please feel free to talk with me all you want about this on or off anon. Be well♡