except then i would have an uncle sam

allnewtpir  asked:

I mean to be silly here, but in your mind how often did Sugar kick Sam in the trouts for daring to lay overinflated lips on her mom?

Hey, @allnewtpir!

Honestly, I don’t think Sugar was violent towards Sam because she knew that, in the future, he’d be happily married to Auntie Wheezy, and Mom and Mama would think so little of their respective times spent dating him that they wouldn’t even really mention it to Sugar except in a laughing way. 

Of all the things that could have potentially prevented her moms from getting married—heinous outings, statewide political campaigns, Bisabuela’s disapproval, Sue’s evil scheming, natural disasters—Uncle Superman wasn’t ever really one of them.

Sure, it was weird watching him act so foolish around Mom and seeing him and Mom be affectionate turned Sugar’s stomach, but by her second year at WMHS, Sugar could read teenage Brittany well enough to know that she was never all that into Sam. He was just a placeholder for Mama (and, on Sam’s end of things, Mom was just a placeholder for Mercedes). 

Of course, Sugar probably did troll Sam a bit while he was dating Mom because she wouldn’t be Mom’s daughter if she didn’t, but, in general, I think she left his trouts intact because, frankly, she wanted her cousins to be born in the future.

Not only are they hella cute, but she makes good babysitting money taking care of them.