except rory and luke

So, many of you might realize that I’ve been rewatching Gilmore Girls. I’m doing this in preparation for the Netflix mini series coming in November(!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!).

Now I’ve always loved Jess. He has had a special place in my heart since the moment he appeared on my screen. But I’ve just recently realized how much I hated how Lorelai treated him. Well, almost everyone really.

I’m not saying it was right for him to grab a beer and what not (Jess definitely had his own issues he needed to work on), but for Lorelai to tell him that she knew what he was going through just makes me angry. Here’s this 17 year old boy who for his whole life has had to fend for himself. We know this to be true. His dad split not even days after he was born. His mom is a known drug user and is known to go through men that are losers who have stolen all her money. We know that Liz was kicked out of apartments and had to call Luke for help. Jess has been through a shitload of stuff in his 17 years. We know how little Jess thinks of himself. We know all this. His life has been difficult from the start. So Jess has every right to get mad.

He’s listening to Lorelai tell him how she understands when she doesn’t! She never had to worry about what she was going to eat the next day or even for the next meal. She didn’t have to worry about the new man that was sleeping with her mom. Or wonder what her mommy was doing and why the thing she was smoking smelt funny (or maybe even why she was always sticking needles in herself!). She didn’t have to worry about the rent getting paid so they wouldn’t have to sleep outside or in a shelter again. Lorelai did not have to worry about any of that. She had a family that loved her and cared for her. Yes they were overbearing and yes they didn’t understand where she was coming from. But they were there for her. She decided to leave and go out on her own at 16/17. She was the one who chose that. She had that chip on her shoulder and the screw you world attitude because she didn’t like her parents. At least she had parents.

Jess never got a chance or a choice. He had to grow thick skin fast or suffer the consequences. He had to have that screw you world persona to survive. He never had parents. He was most likely the parent. Jess finally got a sense of what it was like to have someone care about him when he came to Stars Hallow. But a lifetime (literally his whole life, with him not being good enough for either of his parents to clean up their acts and be parents) of seeing he wasn’t good enough couldn’t be erased away in a few months. Even when he was in Stars Hallow, everyone hated him except Luke and Rory. The town never gave him a chance. They never asked about his history. They never gave the benefit of the doubt.

Yet, Jess made something of himself. He got his life together. While almost everyone told him he couldn’t, he listened to the two people (and in the end the one person, Rory) that told him he could. That is the best possible reply to everyone the said he was nothing but a hoodlum or the bad kid that would lead your kids to do bad things.

I just have a lot of feelings about Jess Mariano. I will protect him down to the end of days.

Gilmore girls revival thoughts

Okay, I gotta get these off my chest, they probably won’t be that organized but just work with me here….

- First, I love Emily Gilmore forever and always, and her arc was everything to me. Her being lost and rediscovering herself, maybe at first just accidentally being too nice to the maid but then realizing she wants the company and she’s happy to have them and that life with all her stuff and money is sort of meaningless if she doesn’t share it, and oh gosh, going to nantucket and just being happy and like, oh emily gilmore, you are everything to me and her arc alone makes the whole revival worth it

- it was so nice to be back with the whole gang, to get to see everyone again, it was just lovely and i loved seeing kirk and taylor and babette and gypsy and bootsie and just… yeah. it was beautiful. 

- so glad it ended with lorelai finally realizing she wants to and is ready to commit to the true and lasting love of her life, love them 5ever, also they have the same anniversary as cory and topanga and i will NEVER be over it, okay

okay but like…. ISSUES

- the writing and editing was just… sloppy. It could have been so much cleaner and tighter, it SHOULD HAVE BEEN. there’s no excuse for it, there was a lot of filler that wasn’t even nostalgic filler, it was just… random stuff- the whole poolside scenes, the musical, which, while delightful, took up way more time than it needed to get the point across, the over-extended life and death brigade reunion that served to do what? exactly? other than knock rory up…

but even more disappointing were the threads they started to weave but then completely dropped with no pay off, most specifically, the letter emily thought came from lorelai that lorelai swore she didn’t write… this never came up again and we never resolved and discovered what had happened there… it’s still a mystery- why bring it up at all if you’re not going to answer the question you posed. and, connected, why start therapy and then just… have it lead to NOTHING? except a therapist breaking doctor/patient confidentiality agreements by acknowledging her first in public… hard side eye…. same with the entire “should we have a baby” plot line that never came up again but never felt truly resolved…. it just felt like it could have been so much better, you know?

- RORY like where do I begin. I was so on board with the “i’ve lost myself and my passion and my purpose, wandering and feeling aimless and confused about life” plot, like i’m there for it, it’s totally something most people our generation have experienced or are experiencing but like… i wanted her to finally FIND herself again before the end? And I feel like she just never did. She kept having these moments where I was like “aha, this is it! this is where she’s back in the game” but it never panned out. First with the line story- which she should have been able to do a new pavement spin on a la her first chilton story and blown everyone away, but nothing… not to mention how OOC it felt for her to just be so ill prepared for an interview she had been anticipating for months??? who are you? where are you? maybe rory is the one who needed to be in therapy…. but then, after the well-deserved humbling of being rejected by the people who had been chasing her, i thought, ah, this is it, she’s going to take over the gazette and turn it around and it’s going to be fabulous but like…. nope? it just sort of doesn’t go anywhere she doesn’t do anything with it. okay then. 

And the book thing- like, i would be so on board with it, if she had been the one to be like ‘i’ve thought about this, but no one cares about that” or “i’m not a novelist though” or something, but like…. jess literally just planted the whole idea in her head. Sue me for wishing rory would find her own passion herself and not have it spoon fed to her? I would have loved to have had jess encourage her to do it even though it scared her or was a huge change of course or whatever, but like… it feels cheap to have it not be something she wanted to do until someone told her it should be. 

And one book does not a life make? it’s fine for now, but it still feels like at the end, rory just doesn’t know who she is or what she’s doing. Maybe it’s realistic, but i’m sorry, I wanted, needed her to be in a better place before saying goodbye. I needed to see her find herself again because that’s what we need fiction to do- to show us that you’re not crazy for finding yourself in this place, but there’s hope because you won’t be there forever. Where was that?

Also, why did rory scoff at going back to school when she loves learning so much, and at the idea of teaching? I just… feel like I don’t know who she is anymore. I haven’t even touched on the whole PAUL thing which just… what the hell, Rory, what is wrong with you. It wasn’t funny, it was cruel, and I don’t understand why they carried it throughout all four episodes…. add in her being the other woman AGAIN after she already LEARNED THAT LESSON with Dean and just… I was disappointed. 

And I’m disappointed that she didn’t get a chance to find herself, and now she’s going to be a mom, and that’s going to rightly be her new identity for a while, but also she has no money and is totally ill-prepared, arguably less prepared than her mother was when she was half her age… and yes, lorelai clearly found her own purpose through motherhood and then in spite of it, but like… i just wanted more for Rory? 

As far as the whole ships thing goes…

1. super glad Dean was a minor cameo and totally closed off as an option forever because YUCK 

2. i’m always casually going to be okay with her and jess coming back together again at some point, because i did love them so much, though then i hated him, and then he finally grew up and i loved him again, but now i almost feel like Jess deserves better? like. girl. And also there was NO indication that rory was still pining on any level for jess, only jess for rory, so like… idk. i’m not anxiously imagining it, but i’d read that fic, if you know what i mean. 

3. logan logan logan okay so like. If you don’t know that logan proposed and she turned him down, logan seems like a dick in this. But the fact is he DID and she said NO, and my guess is SHE’S the one who looked him up again, and set the vegas rules, and poor boy is so in love with her that of course he takes whatever she’ll give him after he’s realized how sad he is without her, you know? I know I’m adding in some headcanon here that it’s said, but possibly implied, but i feel like logan would have broken up with fiance immediately if rory actually wanted to be with him for real. i also feel like the logan who was ready to spit in his parents faces and forge his own path died a little when rory rejected that path with him, and it wounded him a bit, to the point where he now lost that drive, and is settling because he knows no one will make him as happy as rory, and also he knows (and rory knows) he has to get married because of his family, and like, he wanted it to be HER but she SAID NO so he’s doing what he has to do. The ball is in Rory’s court here, I’m sorry, but I don’t blame Logan that much, or at least any more than Rory in this. He put his heart on the line and she walked away. He clearly cares about her so much and wants to support her and love her and just… ugh, I’m sorry, I was a big logan shipper, okay, and i’m just really conflicted and confused right now because like why did rory go back to him if she didn’t want to marry him, why did he take her back, why did he get engaged to someone else, why didn’t he break it off, and why is s.he pregnant with his kid now and probably not going to tell him and like UGH THIS ALL HURTS A LOT OKAY 

Most importantly though, I completely reject the interpretation that logan is her christopher and jess is her luke. i understand it’s the popular one, and even potentially the one the writers are wanting you to walk away with, but it’s just categorically UNTRUE. Beyond physical features and blood connections and upbringing/socioeconomic status…. there’s nothing else that support this connection IMO and it’s forced by writers and fans alike…

Christopher is Lorelai’s sort of teenage rebellious thing, physical but also some emotional attraction, and this feeling of being forever yoked now because of family… but the timing just never seems quite right, they both sort of move on and pine at different periods, try for a time, but never goes anywhere permanent….

Luke is Lorelai’s more adult, slow burn, tried and true, constantly in one another lives but sort of ignoring how much they both are relying on and looking for the other to be there… but clearly a strong friend and support even if they won’t admit it… until finally they can’t help but admit it. and then obviously their communication issues and everything but like…. yeah. 

If anything, Jess is arguably Rory’s Christopher- teenage rebellion but also a really strong bond, and they’re constantly going to be thrown back together at various points because of family- just instead of sharing a baby, they’re now technically family by law, and they can’t escape the fact that they’re going to be around one another from time to time because of lorelai and luke….

I’d argue that no one can be Rory’s Luke, because no one can be Lorelai and Luke except Lorelai and Luke. Rory needs her own person. Her own story. Not her mother’s. This is HER life. Not her mother’s. We don’t live our parents lives. We often wish we could or try really hard to not, but no matter our goal, we can never live our parent’s lives. Your life is your life (and now i’m thinking of girl meets world tie in, but anyway). 

I feel very conflicted. On one hand I genuinely loved the revival, but on another I had some serious critiques and complaints, and ultimately, I’m left wishing that our second leading lady was in a better place than we’re leaving her. I don’t feel settled, I don’t feel sure about how she’s going to find her way with this bombshell news, I reject the idea that she just turns into her mother and everything repeats, but as much as we like to pretend life repeats and is a circle- it really isn’t? Not that neatly at least. Themes repeat, but it never plays out the same way twice. (again, the girl meets world tie ins I could make right now….) 

Ultimately I wanted more from Rory and I expected more from Rory. I loved seeing her in a low place, but I’m disappointed we didn’t get to see her rise up again to her full strength and beauty. I truly wish we could have. 

The strange thing is…Lorelai and Luke are perfect for each other in the same way that Rory and Jess are perfect for each other…but a large part of that is how much Jess is like Lorelai and Rory is like Luke.