except maybe elrond he's a bit

 meaninglessprose replied to your post: Elven Accents

Hey hey hey, did Elrond and Elros pick up a little of the Noldo accent?

Excellent question. Unfortunately, the answer is no. By the time the twins were born, most every Noldo had snuffed out their accents in everyday conversation. Maglor and Maedhros didn’t want Elrond and Elros to stick out like sour thumbs, so they were careful to speak with a perfect posh Sinda accent. Except, of course, when they were being teased relentlessly by their two frustrating wards.

HOWEVER, Elrond and Elros absolutely think they can do a Noldo accent, d'ye nae ken? They have never been more wrong about anything. They suck so badly at it, but they’re idiots who won’t stop and they annoy everyone in the process. Gil-galad didn’t have the accent, either, but even he knew it was very, very, very different from whatever nonsense the twins were speaking. The first time they did it in front of Celebrimbor, he maybe cried a little bit about how terribly they butchered it. He later enlisted Galadriel’s help in getting them to shut up for five damn minutes. She, equally appalled by the travesty which was their attempt at a Noldo accent, happily agreed. Have you ever heard a full-blown, 10000wpm Glaswegian conversation? It’s terrifying.

“They’ve a face like a skeplt erse,” Galadriel joked upon seeing their pale faces after her conversation with Celebrimbor.

“Michty me! They look gey peely wally,” Celebrimbor agreed.

This shut them up for maybe a week, but then Elros and Elrond were trying to incorporate all the phrases they’d heard in the conversation into their daily conversations. It was terrible.

the War of the Elves and Sauron

okay so I’ve been trying to piece together the Unfinished Tales account of the War of the Elves and Sauron. This started as a project to figure out why the Elves sat around for so long between figuring out that Annatar was Sauron and starting a war with Sauron, but then it just turned into me scribbling on maps a lot, because that section of UT is several dense pages of: 

When Sauron learned of the repentance and revolt of Celebrimbor his disguise fell and his wrath was revealed; and gathering a great force he moved over Calenardhon (Rohan) to the invasion of Eriador in the year 1695. When news of this reached Gil-galad he sent out a force under Elrond Half-elven; but Elrond had far to go, and Sauron turned north and made at once for Eregion. The scouts and vanguard of Sauron’s host were already approaching when Celeborn made a sortie and drove them back; but though he was able to join his force to that of Elrond they could not return to Eregion, for Sauron’s host was far greater than theirs, great enough both to hold them off and closely to invest Eregion. […]  

Now, maybe everyone else is way more competent than me but my brain translates that to “then military babble happened and Sauron won”, which is rather unfair to Tolkien because not only does he not military babble at all compared to most fantasy writers but actually this is the closest he’s ever come to telling us how a war proceeded, in terms of the movement of armies and their comparative size and where, geographically, things played out. 

so okay. 

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