except it's not a week so it's not the actual thing i don't even know

My experience with the signs in my life
  • Aries female: so stubborn is incredible. A hot head. She knows what she wants and she'll get it. Yells a lot. Cares a lot about her family. Very concerned about her diet. She looks like a cinnamon roll but is a beast inside.
  • Aries male : very intelligent, probably the most intelligent. Can either have a very scientific mind or a very literary mind. Loves to read. LOVES to make puns. Horrible ones. Has the biggest laugh.
  • Taurus female: MY BIGGEST LOVE. Literally the cutest thing. She is so smart and caring and it's true: she loves to eat. Cares so much about everyone, not only her close friends. She almost never get angry but when she does. Ouch.
  • Taurus male: a cutie. Always ready to cheer you up. DOES NOT. BELIEVE. IN. ASTROLOGY. Likes scientific shit. Loves old movies. Always laughs at your jokes. The best friend you can find. Loves Shrek.
  • Gemini female: so strong and independent. Her hair is always on point, so is her outfit. Either very tall or very short. They talk a lot and they love listening to you. Geminis are actually very lovable people. Best companion for a boring class or for lunch break.
  • Gemini male: very bold and confident about himself. Does his own thing. It's not that he is a dick, it's just that he has his own problems to take care of. Except Trump, Trumps is really a dick. Im sorry Geminis that he is in your sign. The cool guy of the class who has a different girl every week. A lil fuckboy but fun to have a chat with. Loves videogames and perfect pal to get drunk with.
  • Cancer female: not a crybaby. Actually HATES to cry in public. More often than you think, very extroverted. Very passionate about what she loves. High ambitions, starts many things and then get bored. So many puns oh god.
  • Cancer male: oh boy. "Nightmare dressed as a daydream". Makes you feel so special. Boyfriend material. Usually dark hair and dark eyes. Not very tall. Adorable. Special laugh. Will do great things in life. Very creative but kinda introvert(?) WILL RATHER DIE THAN CRY IN PUBLIC.
  • Leo female: very close about her private things but she will open up if you demonstrate her she can trust you. Loves everyone. Not that confident about herself. Very confident about the world, tho. Wants to move someplace else and experience. People respect her.
  • Leo male: Stonehead™. Literally smokes all the time to forget about the pain he feels. Hides emotions and then explodes, usually with rage. Either very close to you that he calls you every day, or he'll completely ignore you. Smart even tho it doesn't look like. The lonely wolf.
  • Virgo female: so stubborn and independent. She knows what she wants and she'll get it. Can get very clingy to the people she loves but sometimes neglect other people she loves even tho she doesn't notice. Get mad easily for the little things. The queen. Just listen to her, she knows the shit.
  • Virgo male: cute but doesn't have his own personality. Sometimes gets involved in ugly companies and does things he doesn't want to. Very sensitive but tries to hide it. Actually cares about you even tho he wants to appear a tough boy. Pretends he doesn't care about school, ends up with all A. Probably very good at soccer.
  • Libra female: becomes part of your family if she isn't already. Amazing lipsticks. Always has great stories to tell. Lives in the clouds. Forgets about things easily but won't forget the important things. Has so many passions but get easily distracted when she is studying for an exam. Perfect person to binge watch Sherlock with.
  • Libra male: my everything. Pretends he's a gryffindor but deep down is a slytherin. Stunning. Gets high grade without doing shit. The teacher favorite. The one you can do stupid shit with. Will do anything for you. Listens to you 24/7. Loves tv shows. Very smart. Will probably end up doing something very important. Perfect dad.
  • Scorpio female: actually very sweet and caring, as much as cancer. Never shows off her emotions but you'll know when she cares about you. She's like a mama bear. She'll call you if she feels you are not happy. She'll call you constantly. Extroverted and kind. Best presents ever. Looks naive but very cautious.
  • Scorpio male: ok so my ex fwb was a scorpio and i gotta say they get emotionally attached. Pretend they don't care AT ALL and then calls u at 2 in the morning telling u they love you. Just be careful cause they don't know what they want. Obsessed with electronic things and sex.
  • Sagittarius female: literally on fire. SHE. TALKS. SO. MUCH. I have so many different feelings about her. Either i love completely or I can't stand her. She pretends she knows everything. She's so slow at doing everything, except talking. Laughs a lot. Very sensitive deep down. So loud.
  • Sagittarius male: Pretty introverted. The fire is hidden. He's a freaking badass. If he cares about you, he will show you. Most likely to call you at midnight for your birthday. Very sweet. Goes big or goes home, especially in love. Both a cinnamon and a sinnamon roll. Like if he ain't in the same political party as you, just don't mention politics. That's when the fire shows.
  • Capricorn female: so. she actually cares about you. but she has so much shit going on so she might forget to come at a place you invited her, she won't even apologize but when something happens to you, be sure she'll call. She's absolutely cute and she has been hurt so many times so it's hard for her to trust people completely.
  • Capricorn male: THE FUCKING FANBOY. He loves to travel and to try new things. He is so shy but with his friends he's crazy. Laughs at his own jokes. Extremely sensitive and when he loves, he loves hard. So intelligent and interesting. Absolutely adorable.
  • Aquarius female: the sweetest. she gets clingy to everyone but because she wants to have friends and do things and has a lot of problems but holds everything in and puts her friends first and she's hurt. The most precious human. She needs, she deserves to be loved the most. Learns very quickly and she's very honest.
  • Aquarius male: the devil™. Actually he is funny, like so many jokes, but sometimes it's just too much. He hates when people offend him. Gets on the defensive. Kinda selfish and cares a lot about like 3 people (?). Like he will kill for them. So much drama, boy. Probably failed history and algebra 2 twice.
  • Pisces female: such a badass and a cutiepie at the same time i don't even know how this is possible. she has such a strong personality and loves her friends. Determined and will fight with her teeth for what she loves. You need to have a pisces in your life. She always says she will kill a person but then she just like run away.
  • Pisces male: like just like the pisces female. Cares so much about his family and shows his emotions easily, whether is anger or sadness or happiness. Determined but also insecure about himself, but will do great things.

anonymous asked:

Hey, I really want to get into art but I seriously don't know how to draw a body? The stick figure just isn't working for me, do you maybe know another way or maybe tips?

so quick disclaimer before i start: i decided to do the female body because i learned how to draw women before i started drawing men… and im also a woman LOL so i have a better idea of how to break down each body part… also curves are really fun to draw!! whereas men im still trying to figure out what goes where

i also think its easier to start off with women and then transition into drawing men? at least that’s what i find… so if anyone wants a follow up tutorial on men just let me know! 


i think when it comes to drawing bodies, i find that it’s a lot easier if you imagine shapes first

by recognizing certain body parts as shapes you can sort of configure a guideline first in the pose and proportions you want first before adding any details

for example this is how i would plan out a (very skinny lol) female body before starting

so in red is my actual organic process, which is really quick and fluid and then in black is just a more defined demo of the shapes i have in mind 

one of the biggest problems i see for people starting out drawing bodies is that they’re so caught up trying to get every detail correct, by the time they’re finished the proportions are all off… so by planning the shapes first i can ensure i have every part the correct length and width i want

ok again this is going to be a really long post so more details on each body part under the cut!

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

So if I were to offer you a bowl of metaphorical skittles with the chance of some being poisoned, you would eat them? If so, you put the safety of yourself, your fellow countrymen, the culture and the country itself at risk. That's with ignoring the overwhelming evidence that the so called "refugees" are not refugees but economic migrants, rapists and terrorists. Or all 3. So unless you want a repeat of Cologne, Paris or Nice, don't be such a retard.

The fucking bullshit skittles nonsense?  ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING?

You fucking idiot, we just dealt with your bullshit skittles metaphor.  Which, by the way, was originally coined by Julius Steicher, who was demonizing Jews.  Yes, the same Julius Steicher that was hung at Nuremberg.  Fucking read something before you make a total ass of yourself next time.

Overwhelming evidence that refugees are rapists & terrorists?  Show & prove, son.  Because in Germany (you know, the country taking in more refugees than any other European country), it turns out that there is absolutely zero correlation between refugees and any increase in sex crimes.  In fact, German crime stats show that despite giving shelter to 1.2 million refugees, there has been no uptick in crime whatsover.  Well, with the exception for a five-fold increase in attacks on refugee shelters by dipshit xenophobes like you. 

Has there been any terrorist attacks committed by actual refugees on their host countries?  Not in Cologne, not in Paris, and not in Nice, motherfucker.  None of those assholes were refugees.  Get your facts straight.    

The U.S. has harboured 750,000 refugees over the last 15 years.  Guess how many have committed an act of terror in the U.S.?  ZERO!

If you’re soooooo worried about terrorists, you fucking racist liar, then you should be pressing to deport nazi shits like yourself, since in the U.S. they are twice as likely to kill people in terror attacks than any sort of “jihadist”; in Europe bigots like yourself are five times more likely to kill someone in a terror attack than any kind of religiously-motivated terrorist.

Us, we’re more worried about what would happen if we didn’t take in refugees.  For example, the four Syrian refugees in Hamilton, Canada that stopped an arson attack & caught the arsonist wouldn’t have been around to put out the fire and arrest the asshole.  Or the Syrian refugees that, even though they basically have nothing themselves, raised money to help the people of Fort MacMurray, Canada when their entire town caught fire.  “We understand what they’re feeling. When you lose everything, you have to start from zero. You lose your memories, your items. It’s not easy. It’s something very sad. We can totally understand their feeling,” said Syrian refugee & fundraising organizer Rita Khanchet.  Yeah, I bet Canadians really regret letting her into their country.  

Economic migrants?  Fuck off with that.  There are now 59.5 million refugees in the world.  63% of them originate from Afghanistan, the DRC, Somalia, Sudan, and Syria. You think people leave their whole lives behind and take just what they can carry and risk their lives & the lives of their families for kicks?  Ask someone to slap some sense into your empty, entitled head.      

Oh, you’re worried about how refugees will affect your precious country’s culture?  Like we said not two weeks ago, prioritizing your country’s “culture” (which we guess is like a precious museum piece that must be kept in a magic cultural vacuum lest it be HORRIBLY CORRUPTED SHOULD ANY INFLUENCE OUTSIDE OF ITS PRECIOUS BORDERS LEAKED IN!  BETTER GET OFF THE INTERNET RIGHT NOW BEFORE IT’S TOO LATE & YOU RUIN YOUR COUNTRY’S CULTURE FOREVER!!!) over the lives of other human beings is the most fucking cowardly, shitty thing we can imagine.  What kind of monster would say “sorry refugees, you’ll have to continue to risk your lives because I don’t want you introducing different food or folk dances or whatever to my magical fairy-country that has no cultural influences from outside of its borders?”  

Sitting behind your keyboard, fabricating lies & pathetic excuses about why you shouldn’t literally save people’s lives by helping them find a safe place for them and their families to live after fleeing horrors that you’ll be lucky to never experience in your life - you are a cowardly, disgusting, sorry excuse for a human being.  

Fuck you.

anonymous asked:

i don't know if ur watching but have you seen all the bamon speculation lately??? do you think there is actually a chance we can get a bamon endgame???

tbh, I have no idea why anyone thinks that’s going to happen or why endgame even matters to people. the story’s what matters. the story’s what stays. endgame is legit like winning a coin toss - you call heads and you get heads and you’re hyped for two seconds but then so what? it doesn’t change the story, it doesn’t change the moments that led up to it, it doesn’t change the things you felt or the lessons you learned or the transformations (or lack thereof) you watched these characters go through. shitty ships are endgame all the time - that doesn’t make them not shitty, and that doesn’t cheapen the journey non-endgame ships went through and how that journey made you feel. characters aren’t real. ships aren’t real. a ship being endgame doesn’t mean those characters are out there existing together once the show’s over - they legit end with the show. but how they affected you and what you learned about yourself through them? that’s what lasts. that’s what matters. 

so bearing all that in mind, bamon randomly being made endgame in the last five minutes of TVD doesn’t really do anything for me except give us childish and ultimately meaningless ammo against other ships - it just really doesn’t matter. if they wanted to do romantic bamon, they needed to do an actual, purposeful, non-ambiguous romance arc for them that unfurled over more than the last two episodes so we could observe things and feel things, and instead they did an entire final season of bonnie having no life outside of enzo and damon clinging to the concept of elena. so nah, i don’t think we’re getting a bamon endgame, and more importantly, even if we did, it’s so last second that it’d literally be nothing more than a stat to fling around to rival fandoms. endgame doesn’t define a ship’s journey, a ship’s journey defines the endgame, and bamon’s romantic journey if they do this will have been so half-assed that the endgame feels pointless. 

the good news is that none of this should take away from how watching bamon made you feel and the thoughts and discussions it made you partake in and the friends you made along the way. TVD will go away (#bless). bamon will fade. de and sc and kc and be and bk and all of those things will fade, and you’ll completely forget about them, but the things you learned and felt will linger and inform future endeavors. i learned so goddamn much from being in this fandom and it’s made me a much better, more respectful, and more informed person than i was coming in. never forget that you’re the actual main character in a story - you, the reader, the viewer - and at the end of the day, a story’s only as valuable as its effect on you. bamon doesn’t need to be endgame to be a great story, because it brought you here and made you feel things and taught you that sometimes things with incredible potential aren’t realized for dumb reasons. so take that forward, and if you’re so inclined, be the person who recreates that potential and actually realizes it. 

but most importantly, know that the only endgame of tvd that actually matters is you.

iperuranio-is-the-way  asked:

Hi I'm still the one that asked about the aggressivity in a trauma survivor. Realistically, how should you help someone that insists they don't need help? My oc got tortured for months just to save their twin! And once safe and sound at home they insist it'll will pass easily although it's a really serious PTSD. So my question is, how do you help someone that refuses to talk about what happened, especially something so serious?

Honestly?

Talking about trauma isn’t… super important. Especially in the beginning. (People like Levine actually say that it isn’t important at all.)

As for how you support them, that depends on well… what symptoms they’re exhibiting and what seems to make them worse.

I have two kinds of super bad places. One of them I want reassurance and affection and all those nice things. The other one? Any of those things just slowly makes me agitated and pissy until well… things blow. and it is generally pretty obvious which state I’m in. (Which doesn’t stop people from trying the reassurance route. People tend to do what they think best not what is actually good for someone else.)

Which is something important to remember when writing your support system characters- they’re /going/ to fuck it up a few times. They’re going to assume their techniques are right or flounder around uselessly or insist that the person try xyz because well they read about it and its supposed to help! (And that can quickly devolve into ‘if you don’t do it then you don’t care about getting better’)

People… A Lot Of People tend to make it about themselves and how they feel and what they think they would have needed. They push a person to talk about it who is clearly getting upset or they sort of cut them off with a ‘reliving it isn’t going to help you’ when a person feels the need to talk about it. They think the person needs hug and touch and the person is just resisting because they feel bad!! Hugs will make them better!! 

Or they bitch and moan about how the other person being down is making them feel bad.

Now onto the portion that isn’t about them fucking it up.

In survivor circles we used to talk about the ‘two types’ of support systems.

Fire fighters and architects.

A good support system has both.

Fire fighters? Are going to be your characters in the beginning who drop -everything.- Fire fighters are good at 3 AM phone calls. Fire fighters clean houses without complaint and make food if those are things that the person isn’t getting done. Fire fighters go with them to the doctor. 

Firefighters are /great/ in a crisis.

Firefighers however, eventually need to go back to their lives. Some of them are good at quietly separating themselves without being gross. They help the person find resources, they help find other people who might be willing to do the same thing they were doing occasionally.

Some of them are -bad- at this. They’re used to sick people. They’re great for people who had pneumonia or the flu, they’re bad at trauma. They start being nasty because they feel like they’re being used, while continuing to try and give no sign to the survivor that they feel that way. They often start blaming the person for not getting better. If the person with PTSD just tried a little harder. Look at all these other people with PTSD doing better! It must be something wrong with this specific person.

Architects are not good at 3 AM phone calls. They are not going to call in sick to work so that they can be with your character. They might occasionally help with cleaning and cooking- but it will be on an every other week schedule or once a month. Definitely not every day. Architects might help your character find a therapist. They might google some coping mechanisms and share what they found with the survivor.  They might even check in about it.

The thing about architects is that the support they give is less intense- but usually lasts /way longer/ because they aren’t burning themselves out. 

So first things first about writing your support system- you’re going to want to figure out which of your characters are which and how bad you want them to be at the whole support thing.

From there, you break it down to what the survivor is experiencing.

A lot of times, people just need…. someone to be there and listen.

Or someone just in the room. 

Someone who plays video games with the person pretty much whenever they call can be more helpful than the person who tries to play therapist.

Support characters might cook meals

Might clean up the apartment

They might let the other person vent while nodding along and just squeeze their hand and not try to give more feedback

They might go ‘you know what you need to do? We’re going to turn this dart board into that asshole and we’re going to throw darts at his face.’

One of them might be the only person your character trusts to call when they’re having a panic attack.

They can share resources about a specific symptom that has become more obvious. 

They might bring your character to something they used to enjoy. (Sports, theater, whatever it is)

They might research better ways to get some sleep or share things they’ve used or offer off the wall dumb advice that somehow works. (SOme survivors can’t sleep in their beds but do okay on couches but generally… that isn’t something people think of. Or a character might suggest something on a whim and it works because that thing heightens and then gives the body a reason to chill out from the adrenaline.)


Now, mind you, all of these things can be the right thing to do and the wrong thing to do. Figure that out for you character and keep it generally consistent. (With the obvious exception that when they’re more triggered/in a rougher place…. more things tend to grate on their nerves. Or if you have them like me- where they have like Two Bad Modes. But if so, make that clear.)


Hopefully that helps some?

TS

anonymous asked:

Hello there! I would like to ask a scenario for ada dazai who meets the reader and he falls really hard for her but he gets this job to find out who was behind the prime minister's murder ( lmao had to be powerful ) and he discovers it's actually the mafia reader? A fluff ending would be amazing but i just don't see it whatsoever so you do you? Maybe she doesn't want to fight him and they just share a long talk? Okay i am done now i promise

i think i have just the idea i see it so clearly and its too beautiful omf thank you for requesting bby i hope you like this! 

rly tho damn someone should write a movie about this i’d def watch it

also we are gonna assume that he already knew she was in the mafia, he just didn’t know what she was capable of bc lets be honest that man is smarter than that


Dazai was not the type of person to fall in love with someone so easily, so when he finally fell for you, he fell hard.

Loving someone meant trusting them, and trusting them meant not doubting them. Which is what he always have done with you, love you and trust you.

Except right now, all of that is being put to hold. 

Not knowing what to think or feel he just held the piece of paper in his hand, which had your name on it. All he knew at this moment is that the one responsible for killing the prime minister is none other than you.

He stood there for a full 5 minutes just staring at the piece of paper until the first and only thing to cross his mind was that he needed to see you.

It’s been almost 2 weeks since the two of you have actually seen each other, but that wasn’t so odd with the two of you. You both understood that no matter what, you still loved and cared about each other endlessly. You also understood that this was just the nature of your daily jobs.

Sometimes you would go two weeks without even calling each other, but that was still fine. You both knew that time never actually showed how much you truly loved someone or cared about them.

Dazai’s reasons to wanna see you all the time were everything but this. He hurriedly called your phone, but there was no answer. Not wanting to waltz in the Port Mafia unannounced he hoped you were at home.

Shoving the paper into his coat, he quickly started making his way to your apartment. It really did not help that the roads were crowded and the rain did not stop for anyone.

After half an hour of driving between the busy roads and the showers of rain with completely nothing but you on his mind, he was finally at the door of your apartment. 

He knocked on your door five times, no answer. He called your name, and still no answer. 

Were you sleeping? he wondered. 

Still, it’s like 8:30 pm and he never knew you for an early sleeper. Going for his last resort he tried opening your door and to his surprise it was unlocked.

Another thing he knew for sure right now is that he was worried. 

Why’d you keep your door unlocked? Did you flee? Is that what you’ve been doing for the past two weeks? Did your really leave him without even so much as an explanation, is this how much he mattered to you?

He walked in and found the lights off. In fact, all the lights were off. Except he noticed that your jacket was on the couch. If you really had fled, then you would have took all your clothes with you, right?

He walked more to observe what else is different, he walked in the bathroom and found that your toothbrush was still there, all of your things were still there in fact. 

He checked almost everywhere and it seemed like everything was still the same, nothing missing, nothing new. The only place he was yet to check was your bedroom.

He got closer to the door and put his ear to it. He could hear something, but he wasn’t sure what exactly. 

Slowly, he pushed the doorknob and opened it. He finally found you.

Your bedroom was also really dark with no lights turned on, he could barely make out your silhouette. 

You were curled up in bed, facing the wall and quietly crying. You didn’t even seem to notice someone just walked in on you, let alone your apartment door was unlocked.

Forgetting everything he knew right now, he ran by your side and put his hand in your hair, softly playing with it and putting it away from your face. 

“Shhh, I’m here now love, I got you.” he whispered, his hand still playing with your hair.

Your cries only grew stronger after hearing him say that, and your body only curled tighter. You were trembling and not wanting him to see your face, you kept it down. 

I’m sorry.” you mumbled.

“What do you mean?” he asked. 

You grabbed his hand that was in your hair, and squeezed it gently before putting it away and sitting up to readjust yourself.

You wiped your tears away and looked him in the eyes. 

“If anyone saw me like this right now, they’d never think I’m capable of taking someone’s life, even though I have.” you chuckled.

You chuckled after saying that but he saw it. He saw it hurt you a lot more to actually say that than make you laugh. 

He didn’t say anything but remained on the floor watching you and waiting to hear you out.

“You know, even with me working in the Port Mafia, this is actually the first time I’ve ever killed someone. I always just hurt people but never actually took their own life.” you spoke with tears still pouring down your face.

You wiped them again and continued. “I’m not trying to justify what I did or say it wasn’t wrong, because it was. Although, even though I know it’s wrong and even though I regret it, I can’t say he didn’t deserve it. He wasn’t really the best person.”

“I just wish I wasn’t the one to do it.” you finished.

In fact you’ve spent those two weeks wallowing in regret and self hatred. You haven’t even been to work ever since then. You barely slept, you barely ate, just breathing seemed exhausting.

You hated yourself after doing this.

How can anyone even love me after doing that? you thought. 

You really cherished those times before you did what you did. Those times where you thought you weren’t such a horrible person, those times you could go on with your day without remembering that someone’s blood was on your hands.

Those times where Dazai loved you so much.

How can he love you now? After knowing what you did? You can’t even forgive yourself, how can anyone forgive you?

You’re glad you at least got to have someone love you for once.

You made a mistake, people make mistakes. You did something and you regret it, but you learn from it.” he finally interrupted your thoughts and spoke out loud.

“But I killed a person! I made the selfish decision of deciding wether he gets to live or not.” you cried.

He smiled at you.

Even though Dazai was disappointed, he knew the regret of making huge mistakes. He knew what it felt to do something and feel like utter crap after it. He knew how it really felt to take away someone’s life and regret it.

He knew how you felt, which is why he can empathize and help you get through it. He was the last person to ever have the right to judge you, not when he too had made many mistakes in his life.

He too have done what you did before and even worse. He too have been where you are right now, he too thought he should give up on himself, on everything and think it’s too late to fix anything.

But that was until someone came along and told him to do the right thing. Someone still saw the good in him even when he couldn’t see it himself. Someone taught him that mistakes are made to be learnt from and not took as an example for who you truly are. 

Mistakes never defined a person and no one better than him knew that.

How can he let the person he loved the most go through what he’s gone through without trying to understand? Without trying to help?

He wasn’t ready to give up on you just yet, but he was ready to be your someone.

If someone took the time to actually see the good in him, then he sure as hell can see the good in you. He wasn’t any better than you, and he won’t forgive himself if he let you go this easily.

He stood up and brought his body closer to yours. He held you tight to his chest and let you cry on it. He noticed your body was still trembling from crying so much so he started caressing your back gently.

“I know it’s hard, but I promise, we’ll get through this together.” he whispered closely to your ears and then kissed the top of your head.

He held you in his arms the entire night, his hands roaming in your hair until you finally fell asleep. 

youtube

I have watched countless booktube videos and it is the first time I have thought to upload one here. Why? 
Cause this lady actually makes a great point. 
All of us who are in Tumblr, Instagram, Youtube and other social media sites, we can see the obsession of people with beautiful covers, brand new books and the ownership of them. Τhe truth is, I didn’t know that there was something bothering me in this situation, until I watched this video.

As a child, I LOVED books. Really, the word “love” in capitals can’t describe how much I adored them. I bought or borrowed books with every chance and many of them I read in one sitting. I was a bookworm, until the two last years of highschool came and I didn’t have time even to scratch myself, so I almost quit reading literature. Three years passed and all this time I was reading barely two books a year. 

Booktube reminded me my passion for reading. It also showed me that people could be passionate about books as objects. I have never thought of it before. In the beginning, I didn’t realize this thing rubbed me the wrong way - see, my old bookworm self just had started waking up. I was seeing the glossy covers, people unboxing new books, people being happy about filling their selves. So why I was feeling uneasy? Was there anything bad about people liking books? Should they feel ashamed? Of course not. 

So, where is the problem?

Stop for a while and consider what you have seen so far on the internet. Photos of books over soft blankets, next to a cup of coffee, next to notebooks, pencils, lights, even cats and dogs. You have actually seen more photos of the covers of the books, rather than what’s inside of them. You haven’t seen torn pages, coffee spilled on pages, cat sleeping on the open book or a dog chewing itspages. Almost never a “Look what is written in this page! Look how the author phrased it! I have marked it with my pen!” The reason is simple; the internet wants everything polished and aesthetically pleasing, so people respond to that.

The issue is that this is happening on a great scale. Now covers are everything, image is everything. The permanent presence of a book in your self is validated by dozens of booktubers. You will show them yours and they will show you theirs, like new, fresh-washed clothes designed only a few weeks ago in Milan. 

Is this what books are all about? 

I will let every bookworm answer for themselves. What I know is that covers never made me fall in love with a book when I was young. Sure, they added an image to the story, a reference for the style of the book, a memory of what’s inside, but that was all. I was recently reminded that I used to compare books to mines, exactly because the valuable matter was inside and not easily acquired. An image of a used, old book always made me want to open it immediatelly. It showed me that many people had loved it and left their marks on it, that it was availiable for anyone who wanted to explore the stories inside of it - like a person with a welcoming body language, if you will.  

Last year I bought the torn book of “The potrait of Dorian” for 5 euros in a bazzar and it was one of the most satisfying purchases I have made in a long time. My immediate thought was me in the comfort of my bed and with low lights reading it (insert melody of Careless Whisper here) not “I can’t wait to go home and take the picture of it”. I, too, post pictures of my books on the internet, but this is only the 1% of the books I have ever loved. Most of them would’t get 10 likes, even if they were the biggest classics, because of their looks. 

And I don’t care. I still love them. I love the memories they gave me, the way they shaped my mind and made me who I am, no matter how torn, worn or or old they were. Some of them weren’t even mine. I had to return them to their owners or in the libraries. The thing is, their stories stayed with me forever. We falsely believe that having something is to own it, especially when it comes to books. From books, it is their stories we need, not their weight or the beautiful colors in their cover. And our real libraries? These are our minds, where the stories live after the tale has been spoken, after the show is over, after the book is closed. We forgot scouting for stories and learnt to seek material.

You know how precious this book is? You probably guessed by its title. See the cover? Just a yellowish paper with some characters on it. A book doesn’t need anything else to tell a story except what is written in its pages. As the above video states, books should be valued for their content, above all. If the Apocalypse comes and THIS lame copy of “1984” is the only one that’s left in the world, I have a sense someone is gonna give his/her life to protect it.

We all appreciatte beautiful things and I am the first one to admit that a beautiful cover is a must for the book I want to publish some day. This is not an article about how we should avoid beautiful things, or how to judge books. It is about what the book community on the internet needs to remember. 

Channels and sites about clothes and make-up cherish things because of the image they create. Books, on the other hand, leave no visible signs and that silent power we, as a community, admire. Stories make a difference on the long run, after being processed in the minds of their readers. Their impact is more important than the fullness of our libraries and all the pretty things we possess. Deep inside, we know that the weight of a book is estimated by how many lives it will change.



This so-called article was written by me, Cassandra Maher, at 4:30 a.m., so if you spot any mistakes, that’s the reason :P 
Share this if you agree and let your followers comment. See where it’s going to lead.

kittenloverrobin  asked:

How many cats would each incarnation of the doctor have? (thought just bumped into me bc i thought of six and tom baker's irl massive number of cats)

You have spoken many magic words here, like ‘cats’, ‘many cats’, ‘how many cats’, and ‘Six’. Some sections are gonna be huge, so check it out under the read more.

Keep reading

Gettlefish
  • Anontisemite: Whether or not you're willing to admit it, whether or not you even realize it, you are oppressed. I mean look at the ridiculous dress code, being forced to cover everything from toes to hair, just put on some pants already and don't wear long sleeves when it's too hot, it's not healthy! Being forced to be a housewife and bear children, you're living like it's 1950. You are supporting patriarchy and holding back feminism by adhering to a patriarchal religion.
  • Gentileproblems: I’m being oppressed by dressing how I want you guuuyyyzzzzz…. :( I don’t know how I stand it.
  • Also, literally nobody is making me get married? I’ll get married and have children because that’s what I want out of life, but those aren’t the only things I want, for crying down the sink! My ambitions won’t end the moment I get engaged, because I’m an actual human being, not a weird cause for you to champion without my say-so. Get lost, I’m not interested.
  • Anontisemite: Look honey, it's not your fault that you don't recognize your own oppression but you and other women like you need help. Religion is merely a farce created by men to control women. The feminist cause wants to help you, that's what we're here for. Of course you think you're husband will let you chase your ambitions once your married but that's not how religious marriage works. You'll be nothing but a trussed slave and that's a tragedy.
  • Gentileproblems: Can someone please tell Jacob he is oppressing me he still hasn’t messaged me back and I’m thinking this is to do with our horrible patriarchal religion.
  • Arothejew: Jacob! Young man, what do you have to say for yourself
  • Jacob-the-pianist: I'm sorry I'm male, I'm sorry I'm white, I'm sorry I'm male, I'm sorry I'm white
  • Anontisemite: Oh you poor girl. I hope one day you'll realizing how vile and silly the Jewish religion is because you need help. You could have such a full, happy life but instead you've confined yourself to misery and you don't even know it.
  • Gentileproblems: 1/10 trolling try harder next time
  • Anontisemite: I assure you I am not trolling, I want to help you and women like you. I have no problems with Jews but I do have a problem with Judaism and organized religions that inherently oppress women.
  • Gentileproblems: Kay sure… how about you help by listening to us, rather than fighting for us? I’m not feeling particularly oppressed, here. Are you?
  • Gentileproblems (general): did anon seriously think sending me anonymous messages telling me my entire culture was Wrong would make me want to convert? Oh, goyim…
  • Satirenon 1: breaking news an anti semitic anon has caused jews everywhere to decide to be atheists OH NO IT'S HAPPENING TO MEEE *all memory of anything relating to judaism in my life is suddenly gone and i am now a free un oppressed woman*
  • Gentileproblems: oh, teach me your ways, un-oppressed one! is there hope for one such as me, comfortable in her religion and proud of her people? or will i have to moulder in the cave of deluded yidden… only time will tell.
  • Anontisemite: Oh honey, I don't want you to convert. I want you to be a secular, free independent woman who doesn't rely on a misogynistic culture of lies and rules designed to keep you oppressed. Surely deep down you realize organized religion is a farce created by men? It's so obvious. If you weren't tied to a backwards culture that didn't allow women education you'd be able to comprehend better. I'm so sorry, please learn to accept help when it's extended. That is what feminism is here for.
  • Gentileproblems: white feminism has reached its zenith
  • Anontisemite: I am not certainly not antisemitic, I do not hate Jews, I want to help their women. What I hate Judaism, Islam and any organized religion. They are forms of misogynistic, systematic oppression.
  • Gentileproblems: 'I'm not raaaaaacist, I just hate these two heavily racialised religions…'
  • Anontisemite: though i too was once proud of my religion and my people i have seen the light and become a truely liberated woman 100% of anti semitic feminists agree that it is the right course of action so let go of the misogynistic tethers of religion and truely free yourself from your harmful self oppression like i did
  • Gentileproblems: assimilate and let go of your culture i a random anon know far more about it than you do
  • Satirenon 1: HELP THE SECOND STAGE IS HAPPENING I FEEL MYSELF BECOMING KNOWLEDGEABLE I NOW UNDERSTAND MY WROOONGS OH THE LIGHT OF SEEING THE WORLD FREE FROM THE HORRIBLE LIES THAT RELIGION TOLD ME I NOW AM EDUCATEEED
  • Gentileproblems: at the third stage, you ascend to a higher plane of existence, like on the original Stargate show.
  • Commentanon 1: i hate judaism but im teeeechiiincally not anti semitic right? -actual quote from the anon
  • Gentileproblems: i know, like how do you even rationalise that what even
  • Anontisemite: I am not antisemitic, I am antireligion. All I want is to end the systematic oppression of women inherent to Judaism and Islam. It is my life's mission and one day I hope to save all of the women like you, women who trapped and hurting and don't even know it.
  • Gentileproblems: Did you know Judaism and Islam are the only perpetrators of misogyny ever? GREYFACE TELLS ALL!
  • Commentanon 2: oh g-d of course anon doesnt include christianity just islam and judaism yet somehow aren't anti semitic or islamaphobic right? anti religion yet only against the two religions with the most hate and violence directed towards them? totally just looking out for women right?
  • Gentileproblems: i know, right? noooo bias there, no siree….
  • Anontisemite: You can still be a Jew, you can eat bagels and gettlefish and all of that, but you should be able to wear regular clothes without having rocks thrown at you, have intercourse without needing to do it through a cloth with a hole, not be forced to live separately from other people once a month. It's barbaric. Help me help you. Help me help women like you. This is going to be my career, rescuing the downtrodden women of archaic religious cults.
  • Gentileproblems: Okay, this is actually genuinely offensive. Where on Earth did you learn about Judaism, Stormfront? For G-d’s sake, choose another career at the very least- nobody will want to be rescued by you.
  • Commentanon 3: These anons today are even more ludicrous than last week's neo-nazis. Seriously talk about being so "open-minded" that your brains fall out and your mind closes again behind them.
  • Gentileproblems: Tell me about it, I have a permanent look of disgust etched onto my face by now.
  • Commentanon 4: Don't let them bother you. That one is literally a xtian-atheist religious missionary. Just treat them like you would any other xtian missionary.
  • Gentileproblems: 'Nope, I don't want your holy book… I've already got one…. it's vintage…'
  • Commentanon 5: wtf anon and ur stiiiiill not anti semitic? i'm waiting for what exactly anons definition of anti semitism is or does it even exist since how can you oppress someone who wants to oppressed or whatever they are trying to say jewish women are doing
  • Gentileproblems: it’s a horrible, horrible journey of ‘not antisemitic i swear’ and i can’t get off
  • Satirenon 2: I want to be offended but all I can focus on now is gettlefish. Seriously. GETTLEFISH
  • Gentileproblems: It’s like kettle crisps mixed with gefilte fish, I assume.
  • Commentanon 6: anon is just jealous of the way i work this super cute skirt with my bright colorful tights and that my marriage will be more emotionally fulfilling because it's not about sex all the time (it's also been proven that because a husband and wife can't have each other sexually all the time they appreciate it more when they do)
  • Gentileproblems: Oh my gosh, talk frum fashion to me! And I’ve never heard of that second point- I shall Google at once!
  • Commentanon 7: is gettlefish like non kosher gefilte fish?
  • Gentileproblems: I think this is one of those things that ‘everyone knows’ about Jews except for Jews
  • Commentanon 7: oh like hanukkah trees? (always spelled that way because fuck the original hebrew spellings lets at 2 k's for the hell of it because goyim)
  • Gentileproblems: yep, that’s totally A Thing, because judaism is christianity in a funny hat.
  • Anontisemite: I don't know what Stormfront, I'm a New Age nondenominational culturally Christian atheist Buddhist. As I've already explained to you I am not antisemitic or islamaphobic, I am anti-Judaism and anti-Islam. Goodness, I wish you were allowed an education where they teach you these things. I don't have a problem with the secular women and I want to help the poor souls who are 'religious' (rapped). It's the men I take issue with, for forcing girls with potential into little more than slaves.
  • Gentileproblems: Rapped? Did Tupac put you up to this or something? And good grief, that first sentence is the most white-goy line I have ever read.
  • Satirenon 3: help i think i actually got second hand white goy from that first sentence im dying
  • Gentileproblems: do you have a weird urge to get a backwards hebrew tattoo? we’ll find a cure, i swear
  • Satirenon 4: Before your anon I was living my life as a poor, oppressed woman, trapped by the men in my life forcing me to observe archaic rules. This, despite the fact I am a baalat teshuva who was inspired by women and doesn't actually have any men in my life. Not married and absent non-Jewish dad, but they're both oppressing me quite a lot. Thanks to the anon I've realized I can again be free. I will give up my meaningful and beautiful culture that I love. I shall eat gettlefish and run wild.
  • Gentileproblems: The sarky responses to my anons are the actual best thing. And seriously, someone needs to come up with a recipe for gettlefish, pronto.
  • Satirenon 5: for gettlefish you should first go to your local store and pick up a few things, gefilte fish, matzo ball mix, latke mix, bagels, lox, chopped liver and cream cheese (just to make sure it isn't kosher). Now go home, and get out a very large mixing bowl and put all of the ingredients into it and mix thoroughly. Place in a large casserole dish and bake until crispy and then eat because it is the single most jewish food in the world according to goyim, add some bacon if you really want to
  • Gentileproblems: That’s so disgusting I dare someone to make it
  • Satirenon 5: make it and send to the anon
  • Gentileproblems: Where do I send it? The Castle of Denial?
  • Commentanon 8: I literally can't stop laughing. They probably mean to write trapped but I prefer to think they put 'rapped' in parentheses because they want everything in that sentence to be rapped out loud as you read. Break it down now, rap about helping the poor souls.
  • Gentileproblems: lay me some tasty beats, jumblr. “I don’t like your people but I’m not racist, I swear…”
  • Satirenon 6: I think your anon is magic. I was a happily oppressed religious women but then I read everything she wrote and
  • suddenly the world is new, suddenly I am new. My curly hair became straight! My skirt disappeared and was replaced by skinny jeans! I don't know if I can handle all of this freedom yet though, not without a man to guide me. Change me back, oh powerful saviour anon! I'm not ready!
  • Gentileproblems: Please, we need you to be our white saviour! Oh, whatever shall we do?
  • Commentanon 9: What the actual fuck is a "New Age nondenominational culturally Christian atheist Buddhist"? Is that a thing?
  • Gentileproblems: Apparently so… oy.
  • Satirenon 7: HELP! I chose to practice modesty by covering my hair on holy days and I think I've oppressed myself! Already men are making me little more than a slave although I have an education and so much potential. Damn my religious choices!
  • Gentileproblems: Gosh darn it straight to heck! Deciding for yourself how you want to be seen, how dare you! That’s for the New Age Christian Buddhist whateveritwas to do!
  • Anontisemite: I'm sorry to see that you and your friends have resorted to making fun of good intentions. You may not think you need my help but me and other feminists will continue fighting for you nonetheless. I promise that one day we will create a world where you can be free from the bonds of oppressive misogynist religious law and archaic cultural traditions. You are only using negativity to lash out because you fear change, as your religion has taught you. But change is good and it will free you.
  • Gentileproblems: ngl i laughed
  • Commentanon 10: I feel like calling you honey just makes the whole thing so patronizing like stop listening to that religion that tells you what to do, I'm going to tell you what to do instead.
  • Gentileproblems: i knooow! like they don’t even know me! it’s gross as heck frankly- but i’m glad my followers are finding it funny.
  • Satirenon 8: help though im a lesbian my religion is compelling me to marry a man and become his subservient wife saaavee meeeeee
  • Gentileproblems: Must…. resist….. anon’s interpretation…. of my religion!
  • Satirenon 9: Oh..oh my goodness, my magen david necklace was sooo tight and it was choking me but that anon magically broke it and now i can breathe thank g-d or wait am i not supposed to do that anymore
  • Gentileproblems: Thank Richard Dawkins, probably.
  • Satirenon 10: anon nooo even though my religion teaches to question our laws and to change with the times it is suddenly morphing into everything you say it iiisss
  • Gentileproblems: Anon is, in fact, Haruhi Suzumiya
  • Anontisemite: Laughing is only a defense mechanism but one day you will be grateful for our movement :). There is an ever growling movement of feminist women against organized religion like yours whose mission is to save women like you. We are very well educated about Judaism and your culture and we will help you to adjust to the modern world. Misogyny and systematic oppression of women through forced dress codes and throwing rocks won't happen to you, no one will hurt you. You don't have to fear change.
  • Gentileproblems: Seriously, who keeps spreading the idea that religious women can’t be feminists? This is frankly depressing, and why we need to educate goyim to free them from their horrible, misogynistic, blinkered ideologies :(
  • Commentanon 11: It's hard to be convincing when they're sending asks on Anon. Like that's the least personal thing you could do.
  • Gentileproblems: I know, eh? When it started, I was actually pretty sure they were that ‘women don’t need feminism’ blog from a couple of hours ago, but now I’m not so sure…
  • Satirenon 11: white feminist goy barbie, she talks! you pull her string and she spouts nonsense!! (idk if anon is actually a she but like you get my point)
  • Gentileproblems: I kind of hope so, actually, because think of how much more creepy and paternalistic it would be if anon was male.
  • Commentanon 12: As opposed to cultural Christian atheist Buddhism, which is entirely disorganized.
  • Gentileproblems: *sniggering* Anyway, correct me if I’m wrong but isn’t the Dalai Lama very much against converts to Buddhism?
  • Satirenon 12: I somehow seem to have put on a long skirt. Someone please send a secular white "feminist" to help me.
  • Gentileproblems: I keep thinking of that Monty Python skit, you know, with the peasant shouting ‘Help! Help! I’m being oppressed!’
  • Anontisemite: Honey, you're being silly! I already have an education because in out free feminist culture women are allowed to learn. You can do it too! And of course a religious women can't be a feminist, it's the exact opposite of feminist. Religion, especially Judaism and Islam, is the source of all misogyny in the world.
  • Gentileproblems: To be honest there are so many people mocking you in my inbox I thought this was a parody. I am still not quite sure. And.. so do I? Dad’s a university professor, and I got early admission to his uni- had my first class yesterday, actually- where I’m reading Sociology and History. Also, pretty sure a good definition of feminism is that women can do as they please, whatever that means to them.
  • Satirenon 13: It's all a lie! You've been taught lies your entire life! White goyishé feminists know more than you do about the tradition you were raised in again and again for the past 3326 years. Definitely.
  • Gentileproblems: No, what are you talking about, they skim-read a Rationalwiki article once! They’re totally qualified to tell me how to live my life!
  • Satirenon 14: I'm wearing a kippah and a mini skirt at the same time. I'm only have oppressed on my mothers side.
  • Gentileproblems: :D but oppression is passed down through the mother, donchaknow
  • Satirenon 11: yeah for all you know anon is a really creepy guy looking to harass jewish feminists and give feminists a bad name
  • Gentileproblems: yeah p much
  • Commentanon 13: thats religious misogyny at work, the only true feminist religion is spiritual christian influenced combined with a bastardized eastern """"spiritual"""" religion entirely divorced from from it's actual source and rules and replaced with new ageyness and a hint of racism :)
  • Gentileproblems: 'Hey, mum and dad! I'm rebelling against you by converting to a watered-down version of a religion I barely understand!'
  • Satirenon 15: *sighs* Now I have to go tell the three female Rabbis I know personally that none of them should have received an education, because a got on the intertextuality knows Judaism better than us
  • Gentileproblems: It’s such a drag being oppressed like this, no?
  • Commentanon 14: Wtf the fuck is "free feminist culture"? I'm laughing so hard. Also kinda offended that anon is equating education with knowledge. Like a lot of people can't afford college or have learning disabilities but they're their own people, fuck off.
  • Gentileproblems: anon is patronising as heck- go ask them, I don’t know.
  • Anontisemite: Yes, I see you and the many people mocking me on your blog but I really don't mind because I know that you don't know better. I'm not a man or looking to undermine feminism - why would you even think that? You're a bit paranoid aren't you? Feminism is about female freedom and my life is dedicated to helping women achieve that. Judaism inherently undermines female freedom and that is want to eradicate it and rescue women from it. It's not antisemitism.
  • Gentileproblems: Alongside Jews, there are atheists, Muslims, and Christians mocking you. Quit while you’re… well, I can’t actually say ‘ahead’, really.
  • Anontisemite: I don't mind the mockery. I have my cause my cause is you and your fellow oppressed females or Judaism. It doesn't matter if you think you don't need it, a feminist fights for the freedom of all women no matter what. You haven't been taught this but you are woman who has value. You deserve a life without men who shame you for existing and think you have no worth except that which comes forth from your womb.
  • Gentileproblems: but… you are the only one saying this… can you save me from *you*, please?
  • Satirenon 16: for $8000 a month i will stop oppressing myself anon
  • Gentileproblems: yes please anon pay my uni fees
  • Satirenon 17: I am a Jewish feminist am I causing global warming
  • Gentileproblems: I want to make a joke about Moses and rising sea levels here….
  • Anontisemite: Oh honey, let feminism help you be truly free from the bonds of patriarchal religion.
  • Gentileproblems: we’ve been around a few thousand years, your patronising wheedling isn’t gonna stop that.
  • Commentanon 15: In all seriousness, what I find most fascinating about the anon is that for someone who claims to want to free me from those telling me what to do etc., she/he is telling me exactly what to do! For someone who claims to want everyone to be free, she/he is not allowing me the freedom to do what I want. In other words, hypocrites will be hypocrites.
  • Gentileproblems: Goyim gonna goy
  • Commentanon 16: Anon does know that Judaism is a matriarchal religion, correct? That women are revered and are incredibly valued by Jewish society?
  • Gentileproblems: what are you talking about religion is BAD forever
  • Commentanon 17: For all who are trying to say that she is not free while being Jewish is the worst thing you could say. Being free means she can choose what religion she follows. Also the Jewish faith is not oppressive I actually know a female cantor/rabbi who is amazing at what she does. You are being oppressive by telling her she can't be what she wants and saying that you are not being racist even though all your support is stereotypes and from the 1900's get with the time! Take this as a warning
  • Gentileproblems: Thanks so much, anon! I mean I’m opinionated as all heck, if I didn’t think i was being respected I’d leave, believe me.
Blue (KHR)

A/N: This is what happens when you ask me to write more of a particular pairing. I get angsty. So here’s that Alaude/Tsuna you guys have apparently been asking for.

Summary: This isn’t what G imagines Giotto meant when he asked Alaude to protect his brother.

———-

G is a strategist. Always has been, always will be for as long as Giotto will have him. His mind is keener than most, and that’s put him in some tight spots over the years as much as its gotten him out of them. But this time G’s been put in a position where nothing good can come of it, either in or out. Either way, someone’s going to end up hurt, and it’ll be his fault.

Here are the facts.

Keep reading

HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER ASK MEME
  • "I need to assert my dominance as a man!"
  • "What is wrong with you? You have a mother!"
  • "In hypothetical terms, you scored last night."
  • "Do you like magic?"
  • "I'm like Yoda, except instead of being green and little, I wear suits and I'm awesome. I'm your bro- I'm Broda."
  • "Are you acting out the last scene of Sleepless in Seattle with dolls?"
  • "I have you. I don't need to wait for it anymore."
  • "What would you expect? You've seen my penis."
  • "That makes me want to join a gym so I can get super strong and punch you really hard in the face."
  • "Oh my god, can you just be cool?"
  • "I don't love her, okay? I just miss her when she's not around, think about her all the time, and I imagine us running towards each other in slow motion and I'm wearing a brown seude vest. But I don't want to be her stupid boyfriend!"
  • "I can't just go say hi!"
  • "When I get sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead. True story."
  • "We met at the urinal."
  • "I was a teenage popstar in Canada."
  • "I guess, starting tomorrow, we can tell people."
  • "One out of every eight adult women in America is a prostitute."
  • "Love is the best thing we do."
  • "Playing loser tag is awesome!"
  • "Ouchy in my mouth."
  • "I'm cuddly, bitch. Deal with it!"
  • "I don't care if you have an orgasm! If you care, you do it!"
  • "He can't be pregnant. You have to have sex to be pregnant."
  • "I think you were in love and you messed it up."
  • "Everyone's leaving me and I don't like it!"
  • "Last week, I went out with a girl whose favourite band was Glee."
  • "What are the chances that we're both serial killers?"
  • "When I let a day go without talking to you, that day's just no good."
  • "I'm always gonna love you. Til the end of my days, and beyond."
  • "Love doesn't make sense!"
  • "You make me happy. You make me happy all the time."
  • "Do you want them? I hate olives."
  • "Not awkward, guys. Not awkward if we don't let it be awkward."
  • "Good luck on your date, I hope she's everything you're looking for"
  • "Settling down is for losers and kids who never go out anymore."
  • "There is no one hotter than God."
  • "OK, here’s my thing – if gay guys start getting married, then suddenly the whole world’s gonna be doing it. That’s how it works. they start something, then six months later, everyone follows. Like… now everyone gets manicures."
  • "I keep waiting for something to happen."
  • "Look, you can’t design your life like a building. It doesn’t work that way. You just have to live it… and it’ll design itself."
  • "This font is often mistaken for Helvetica, but actually, it's Helvetica bold."
  • "I refuse to be a part of a third runaway bride situation."
  • "I'm really into you. I just can't be with you...right now."
  • "Whoever is right gets to slap the other person in the face as hard as they possibly can"
  • "I finally found the one. Her name is bacon."
  • "Why is no one coming to my happenings?"
  • "Ain't no thang but a chicken wang, mamacita!"
  • "If you keep acting this way, little by little, you're gonna lose me."
  • "The only people in the universe who haven't seen Star Wars are the characters in Star Wars."
  • "Chicago? Is that even a real place?"
  • "I'm sorry I don't have time for your drama right now. My fiance is missing."
  • "Just tell me. Do you love me?"
  • "Is there any way we could just go back to normal?"
  • "I only know of one truly platonic relationship."
  • "Do you want to keep playing or do you want to win?"
  • "Holding hands is like the fourth grade equivalent of banging."
  • "You hate women and women hate you."
  • "Why say goodbye to the good things?"
  • "You get older, you have kids, you stop stealing. It's sad."
  • "You have to let me dance my own battles!"
  • "New is always better!"
  • "If you have a crazy story, I was there. It's just the law of the universe."
  • "Sometimes things have to fall apart to make way for better things."
  • "The future is scary but you can’t just run back to the past because it’s familiar. Yes it’s tempting but it’s a mistake. "
  • "You took my infant child to a strip club?"
  • "When you're in a new relationship and you're competing with your ex for who's happier, it can get ugly."
  • "I don't get lonely. I have five dogs."
  • "People make fun of the guy who stays home every night doing nothing, but the truth is, that guy is a genius."
  • "It's not cheating if it's on the phone, right?"
  • "Aren't you tired of waiting for destiny?"

anonymous asked:

Prompt: Childhood friends Killian/Emma. They get separated cause of the system and when Killian becomes a famous musician, he dedicates one song in each of his concerts, hoping to find Emma.

A/N: angst, just angst… (with a happy ending of course, i’m too weak to leave it on a bad note.)


They first meet in the second grade. Both of them are stubborn and frustrating, according to the teacher. Killian’s persistent to be her friend, but Emma’s isolated and likes to keep to herself. She’s already been tossed around three times in the last two months, she already knows better than to hope any better than she already has been. She knows better than to grow attached to friends because what comes after is more than disappointment - it’s loss and abandonment, it’s sadness and goodbye.

She doesn’t speak to anyone besides the teacher when in class, sitting quietly at her table, ignoring all the looks and whispers from the classmates around her.

They’re told to draw their family.

She doesn’t draw anything - she doesn’t even know the definition of family.

“I only have an older brother,” he tells her, a smile on his face. It’s sad though, a look she’s seen before.

“At least you have him,” she murmurs.

It’s the only few words that come out of her mouth that day, refusing to talk to anyone else. When school is over at 3:30, she waits for her foster parents to come pick her up. She sees Killian run toward another man, supposedly his older brother. The view is better than many. At least his brother cares for him, she thinks to herself.

She sits on the front step in front of the doors, waiting and waiting.

No one comes so she decides to walk home herself.

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Once upon a time: A story of how a Shadow fell in love with Sunshine.

For the Gajevy Week 2016 Bonus Prompt. Here’s my response to “Differences”. Enjoy :)


Everyday he watched her grace the green valley from under the protection of  it’s only tree, a large oak. From sunrise until sunset he sat there and watched, for he is confined when she roams around. You see, darkness cannot cover the world when there is light and he resented her for that. Shadow hated how the birds sang of her arrival. He was jealous of how happy the squirrels of the forest dashed into her warm embrace come morning. He despised her happy mess of sky blue curls and her eyes that shone like polished gold. He wished more than anything to not need her.

One day, when the darkness began to plot against the light, he volunteered to make an example of his Sunshine. He would force her to experience the clinging cold of the Shade just as life forced him. So he waited and waited until she unwittingly prances close enough to the border between light and dark. A dark, scarred hand reaches out and grabs onto the flowing yellow fabric of her skirts, yanking her from the valley and breeze into something she’s never known. Her delicate giggle transforming into a horrified gasp. A cry erupts from the forest. Every creature and plant shrieked in confusion for the Sunshine had left, yet her pained scream breaks through them all. The darkness burned against her freckled skin and left its mark.

Shadow completed his mission, yet he did not rejoice. The applause from his fellow night dwellers fell on deaf ears for he knew that this victory meant nothing. Rough fingers glided over pale, freckled skin. Never in his life had he experienced that texture…that softness… nor the warmth that continued to cling to her despite the situation. He knew light would come for her then she would return stronger than ever. If anything at all, hopefully she would return less beautiful because the Shadow secretly thought her so. His heart was cold and tired, yet it was because of her that he knew it had yet to totally succumb. Every time she laughed with the stream or danced among the daisies or even sighed he felt it twinge- he felt it ache at what he could not have. In that moment with her in the shade especially he grew to adore Sunshine even more. A strip of silk was wrapped across her chest solely for modesty- he knew. Oh god, how he knew! How many days has she taunted him with her bare shoulders and the delicate curves of her back all because she wants to soak in every kiss of the breeze. If her nature allowed her to run naked through the valley then she probably would have, yet her cheeks flush every mating season at the twitterpated animals. Yes, he was jealous of her happiness, love, and freedom, but beauty tipped him over the edge. How dare a creature possess all of these things while he had none! How dare she be so far above him! It wasn’t fair!

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anonymous asked:

why don't you like game of thrones?

So so so many reasons. I think the show captures almost none of the things I liked about the books. The characters that I loved so much in the books have been essentially butchered or entirely erased by D&D. And it’s generally poorly written and very lazily plotted. What’s more the showrunners treat their female characters with misogynistic disdain. I hated everything they’ve done with Sansa and it just got astoundingly worse with Shireen.

I few reviewers that I feel have pretty much nailed it:

“It’s not real. That argument covers all manner of sin, doesn’t it? Because while Game of Thrones is not real, what the show and book series are most often commended for is their realism. And by realism, I mean their brutal, unforgiving, bloody, and broken depiction of humanity at its very worst. And it is real. People die in real life. Horribly, mercilessly. There’s no Hero’s Journey in reality. But, wait: isn’t that what fiction is for? Not Game of Thrones, of course, Game of Thrones is different. It’s gritty, it’s real. Historically accurate (except for the dragons). Of course people die. Haven’t you been paying attention? Stop complaining. Next year, they probably won’t cut away from the death and the rape. They have no choice but to go bigger, darker. Maybe they’ll just kill everyone. Season 6 will be 10 hours of a static shot, showing the snow falling and covering Westeros with ice.

When I was 14, my teacher told me: “The cheapest way to end your story is with the sentence, ‘And then they all ran into a brick wall and died.‘” Because The Story, our story, isn’t about the dying. It’s about how we get to that point. And for all their violence, George R.R. Martin’s books never forget that. I’m beginning to worry that the TV show has. When you cut away the journey of A Song of Ice and Fire, all you’re left with is the violence and the death. And in Game of Thrones‘ struggle to keep the show interesting (despite the lack of actual plot development), that’s when the excess of violence and death begins to feel gratuitous and damaging. Besides, everyone dies in the books, right? So stop complaining. That’s the party line. Except… in the books, there are layers. There is silence. There is melancholy, there is subtlety, there is meaning in the very absence of meaning. In the show, there is death. There is sex, there is scandal, there is screaming. There is no subtlety in the burning of a child. The show is nothing like the books. We kill children and call it art.”

Selina Wilken

David Benioff and D.B. Weiss are remarkably bad at their jobs. Last night, they proved once and for all that they don’t know how to keep an audience invested in their show. In an interview with Entertainment Weekly, Weiss defends the decision to have Shireen killed by saying the comically inappropriate death scene was “entirely justified” by the narrative. “It was set-up by the predicament that Stannis was in. It will be awful to see, but it’s supposed to be awful.” “It’s supposed to be awful.” That’s the sentiment from one of the people running your favorite show. My Sunday night was “supposed to be awful,” and dammit, it sure was. Any growing sympathy I had for Stannis is gone. I would now prefer that everyone involved with the battle for Winterfell take a nosedive into the nearest frozen lake. We also lost one of the best ongoing friendships — the one between Davos the Onion Knight and Shireen. Providing Davos ever returns, I can’t imagine he will take Shireen’s death lightly. But the worst thing of all is how utterly predictable and boring the decision was. The Lord of Light decrees it must be done, and so shall it be done. Stannis is now firmly established as a character who cannot think for himself, and the viewers suffer the consequences. Game of Thrones the TV show was never going to follow A Song of Ice and Fire to a tee, but this season in particular has been irreversibly marred by bad decisions behind the scenes that have nothing to do with the novels.The season began its descent into misery when Sansa was forced to marry the show’s most gruesome villain, Ramsay Bolton (née Snow). The sexual violence perpetrated against her character was gross and unwarranted, failing to provide any meaningful character development for anyone involved. So what have we learned? Benioff and Weiss have some vendetta against the young, female actors on their show? It’s too difficult to corral this many actors week in and week out, so we might as well torture and murder the ones that aren’t actively participating in an important storyline? By the time Drogon came to the rescue last night, igniting the Sons of the Harpy and attempting to wash the brutality of the earlier scene from our mind with even more violence, it was far too late. I was already numb to the tiresome pessimism of the show and its crew.”

- Game of Thrones is intent on sucking all the life out of the most imaginative world on television, Jacob Siegel

Last night, Game of Thrones continued its assault on young girls by burning Shireen Baratheon alive while her parents watched. The HBO hit is notoriously ruthless with its characters, but this season has gone above and beyond when it comes to the violence committed against its young female characters. After the marriage of Sansa Stark and Ramsay Bolton in episode six, “Unbowed, Unbent, Unbroken” (subtle!), the future Lord of Winterfell rips open Sansa’s wedding dress and rapes her while Reek—and the audience—stands by.The episode was met with some serious Internet backlash, including from Senator Claire McCaskill, who took to Twitter to publicly denounce the show. “Ok, I’m done Game of Thrones. Water Garden, stupid. Gratuitous rape scene disgusting and unacceptable. It was a rocky ride that just ended.” — Claire McCaskill

“ Jessie Heyman: Did that really happen to Shireen?

Monica Kim: The worst thing I’ve seen on that show, probably.

JH: The thing with this show is that it, famously, will do the unthinkable. Like with Ned. The Red Wedding. And all those other crazy deaths. But I really, really felt this was beyond the pale. What did you think?

MK: My thoughts exactly. Even though it was heavily foreshadowed, part of me didn’t think they’d actually go through with it—especially not the way they did it. The burning of Shireen was insanely disturbing. I think I’d rather sit through five back-to-back showings of Theon torture porn than watch that one scene again (and no, I didn’t enjoy the torture porn).

JH: Time and time again, Game of Thrones disgusts and shocks me to my very core, but this seemed gratuitous. Do you feel like, as a book reader, all this little girl assault is really necessary?

MK: You know, George R. R. Martin recently addressed the criticism of the show’s treatment of women, in which he explained that to not portray sexual violence and violence against women in a war story is fundamentally dishonest. And I agree that to whitewash things and not address the darker sides of human nature in this story would be unsettling. But I think the show, this season in particular, has really taken Martin’s ethos and completely mishandled it. Yes, horrible things happen in the series, to both men and women. And even on the show, the most graphic depictions of violence are generally reserved for men. I really checked out during Theon’s season-long flaying, and Oberyn Martell’s squashed-in head was obviously nauseating.

JH: Not to mention Joffrey’s barf death.

MK: But the treatment of young girls this season has felt gratuitous in a different way than the graphic physical violence the show heaps on the men. It’s a bit more like it’s used for cheap, emotional manipulation, don’t you think?

JH: Yes, 100 percent. In a weird way, I feel like the male death we see in the show is somehow more straightforward (excluding, of course, Theon—I suppose we can call that a death of one person, right?), whereas the violence toward women seems more perverse. Think about the worst death during the Red Wedding? Talisa wasn’t just killed, she was stabbed in her pregnant stomach.

MK: And she was stabbed repeatedly.

JH: Even when Mance Rayder was about to befall a Shireen-like fate, Jon Snow “saved” him—or his dignity, at least.

MK: Yeah, I’d agree that the men, other than Oberyn and a few random side characters, are generally given more dignified deaths.

JH: And this all differs from the books tremendously, right?

MK: Yes. It seems like the further the show gets from the source material, when the writers no longer have the books to guide them, the more clumsy and heavy-handed things get. This season, Gilly suffers a near rape, which doesn’t occur in the books. Why? To show that the Wall is a dangerous place for her, and to bring her closer to Sam. But of all the things they could’ve worked in—it’s cold, food is running out, I don’t know, an army of very fast zombies is coming their way—the writers went right to rape attempt. Meryn Trant is a bad guy that Arya wants to kill, but how do we remind readers, who might have forgotten that he beat up Sansa, that he is bad? Let’s make him a pedophile, in this completely unnecessary brothel scene! Just, why.

JH: There’s so much more outrage to be had as a book reader! But to get back to the original point of whether or not the show has gone too far, I mean, is that even a question at this point? The real question is: Why do they keep upping the ante? And more than that, will we actually stop watching?

MK: I think it’s a straw and camel’s back situation. Looking back, the showrunners have included lots of moments of weirdly perverse, gratuitous violence against women that weren’t in the books. Think of Ros being forced by Joffrey to savagely beat another woman, or the rape scene between Cersei and Jaime, or Ros (again) being shot to death with crossbow bolts. Not only was Talisa’s counterpart, Jeyne Westerling, not killed in the books, no female character was ever stabbed repeatedly, almost cartoonishly, in her pregnant stomach. We’ve ostensibly sat through all these unnecessary moments to get to the story itself, but I think it’s getting to the point where those moments have piled up and people are tired of putting up with them.

JH: You know what I was struck by? I was expecting to encounter an incensed Internet post Shireen’s gruesome death—and while there were a few people who were, like, “THAT IS SO MESSED UP”—mostly, they were just talking about the dragons. Was that just me, or did you feel that way too?

MK: Yes! Right after the episode ended, I went straight to Twitter to find some rage solidarity, but all I saw were a bunch of excited tweets with dragon emoji.

- Let’s Talk About That Game of Thrones Scene, Jessie Heyman and Monica Kim

Every once in a while, you watch a sweet, bookish little girl burn to death while screaming for her parents and you think, Oy. More child sexual slavery? More rah-rah decapitations? More massacres? Welp, it’s a very brutal world. I know. I know that Game of Thrones is big on carnage, big on desperation, big on bloodlust, and lust lust, and a bunch of other kinds of lusts. I get it, Game of Thrones. I do. But I just want one happy episode. No killing, no raping, no plotting out killings and rapings, just … a holiday celebration, say, where no one’s fetus gets stabbed out. A concert. A play. Some random serfs having an ordinary afternoon. A sporting event that does not result in anyone’s death. Something!I’m kidding, sort of: Game of Thrones will never give us this, and I’m (reluctantly) resigned to that fact. The show is primarily invested in excavating every depraved moment in its characters’ lives, in bringing out the absolute worst in everyone. And fair enough: People here in the actual world are also overwhelmingly terrible. But we also know that even in the most dire of circumstances, people seek happiness and foster comfort and express their humanity by creating art. They find meaning in small rituals. They cook favorite meals. (Come back to us, Hot Pie!) They form lasting, meaningful bonds. They find light in the darkest of times. GOT has of course portrayed romantic love, but generally to leverage it for sadness that can be caused by death or separation or betrayal. We’ve seen wedding celebrations, but they tend to end badly. The show loves wondering how bad … or how far … or how much … But this constant brutality becomes numbing, and each “surprise” has diminishing returns. The show’s merciless entropy has exhausted me. The point of GOT is not to be cheerful, clearly. But a show that can find this many ways to be unhappy could surely find one even small way to engage with joy that wasn’t immediately poisoned somehow. If you can have a surprisingly easy to foil army of eunuchs, you can have, oh, double Dutch.”

- Game of Thrones’ Relentless Misery, Margaret Lyons

Obviously, the world of Westeros is not a safe place for little girls (or anyone, but especially girls). But as the showrunners push their agenda over the storyline from the book, that element of danger is a crutch that they rely on far too frequently, and in a way that is gratuitous and often feels unearned. This episode took the theme to new and darker places, when we’ve already been in very dark places this season. As viewers, there’s a hope that these bleak depictions will lead to some kind of glorious vengeance, but it’s just not clear if we can trust Benioff and Weiss with that hope. We’ve been burned too many times before. Quite literally this time around.“

- Katie Walsh, The Playlist

“Despite what many of “Game of Thrones’s” legions of devotees like to argue, it is not, in fact, a “medieval story.” It is not received wisdom from another age. Though it has the trappings of an earlier Earth, it is actually a contemporary story and should be considered as one. And as such, I fail to see what the horrific immolation of a teenage girl added to the narrative in any way, shape, or form. What I do understand is what it took away: a pleasant performer in Kerry Ingram, any whiff of empathy or support for Stannis, and “Game of Thrones’s” torrid streak of 13 and a half days without a violence-toward-girls incident. For God’s sake — not you, Lord of Light, you smug asshole — even Iphigenia’s fate remained unclear! Terrible things can and should happen on “Game of Thrones,” just as they should in all adult drama. But the more Benioff and Weiss hammer the same chords, the less they sound like musicians and the more they remind me of Cousin Orson, another one of their inventions who, in retrospect, seems like one more clever, meta way to shrug off criticism.“

- Andy Greenwald, Grantland

“Shall we recap, one last time? Let’s recap what made me decide to switch off, in fact.

Arya’s still walking around selling oysters and trying to kill the Thin Man. She gets sexually harassed by some guys on the street because of course she does. Then, she finally runs into Meryn Trant! It’s about time. She tracks him to the local brothel, and there we learn that Trant is also a paedophile, because of course he is! He enters the bedroom with a terrified-looking girl not much older than Arya, and that’s that. Was any of that necessary? No. We already hate Trant. We already know Arya’s going to kill him. What’s the bloody point of another implied rape of an underage girl? But it gets worse-

This was the big one. I said a few weeks ago, “Fun fact: if a small child gets BURNED TO DEATH on this show, I am probably out for good,” but I genuinely didn’t expect them to go that far, especially not after the Mance affair in the opener. I know child death is far from unheard of on this show - the very first episode featured the attempted murder of a little boy, after all - and I know that it was done with George R R Martin’s approval, and I know that men suffer on this show as well as girls and women. But none of that changes the fact that I really, really didn’t want to hear (thankfully, you don’t see anything. but still) a little girl’s screams as she’s burned to death. The fact that Shireen’s one of the sweetest, kindest characters on the show only makes it worse: I liked her a lot, and her death not only happening but being horrible and at the hands of her own father feels like a swift kick in the teeth.

I know that the show’s mantra for about three seasons now has been, “If you think this has a happy ending, you haven’t been paying attention.” Which, alright, but now that’s turned into “If you think this has a happy ending…we’ll introduce some more sexual violence and child murder into proceedings to thoroughly disavow you of that notion.” That’s no way to run a show, although it’s certainly a way to ruin one. Taken down with Shireen is any sympathy the audience might have had for Stannis, who in one scene went from fairly acceptable parent to one of the biggest, cruelest monsters in the whole big, cruel story. Even Selyse was allowed a moment of redemption when she tried to save her daughter, but nothing of the sort for Stannis: he may have eclipsed even Joffrey in disgusting behaviour. 

The misogyny that’s run rampant through this season hasn’t gone unnoticed (not by me or by anyone else) but I thought that maybe the rape scene in “Unbent, Unbowed, Unbroken” was the worst of it. Now I sort of wish I’d quit there. Salon summed up the show’s current mission statement rather nicely:

“Game of Thrones is obsessed with reminding its audience that a woman’s work is never done, that her body is never her own, that her life is never safe, and each time the audience pushes back against the idea that such depictions are a foregone conclusion, they are informed that it is the way of the world they themselves live in and painting the world any other way would be disingenuous.”

So- goodbye, show. It’s been an, um, interesting ride. But I simply can’t stomach it anymore.“

- Three strikes against young girls and you’re out, Sarah Barrett

WTNV theory/headcanon dump post

So this has nothing to do with my normal blog content but I re-listened to some older episodes of Welcome to Night Vale and found a thing from History Week that made me feel ALARMED AND FILLED WITH DREAD FOR THE UPCOMING NEW EPISODE so I’m just gonna store that and some other Night Vale thoughts here so I don’t explode from storing them in my head.

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bonesbuckleup  asked:

Man, you know, you don't tag angst very often but when you do you BLOW EVERYONE ELSE OUT OF THE WATER so good job you.

Good, ‘CAUSE— 

I didn’t really extrapolate on this in the tags BUT oh man, he locks the door, he stares at his reflection in the bathroom, at the Barnes Cross (his old wing-shaped patch, now silver on a dark red background), at his long pulled-back hair that he refuses to cut (OH DEAR DON’T LET ME GO INTO MY FEELINGS ABOUT HOW AT FIRST BUCKY REFUSES TO WEAR HIS OLD HAIRCUT, HOW HE KNOWS THE REFLECTION WON’T LOOK THE SAME BECAUSE NOW HE CAN ACTUALLY REMEMBER WHAT HE USED TO BE (how Steve asks him about it once, maybe twice when Bucky was released from SHIELD containment and rehabilitation, when Bucky moved into his apartment, even offered to do it himself like they used to in the old Brooklyn sinks, but Buck flat out says “no” each time and that’s that)). Anyway, he watches himself in the mirror, looks at the pressed suit that would have fed him and Steve and the rest of the block for at least a year; it’s almost comforting how it covers most of his body, except for when his metal fingers poke through and then it’s devastating. He can’t feel the fabric on that side. He looks at the Cross pinned to his breast.

He almost throws it in the garbage can.

It’s just a piece of metal, sentimental and…

He never had need for things before. Everything was provided for him, though usually never as an option. Unfreeze, warm him up, run tests, get dressed, await transport, here are your orders, go, mission complete, debrief, freeze again. He doesn’t remember eating a lot unless a higher up ordered some underling to “feed it.”  He doesn’t remember being hungry after the first so-many missions, even when out in the field for days. This medal is just as extraneous as everything Tony and Sam and Steve have provided for him. (Why does he need four pairs of shoes?) His room in Stark Tower is a testament to how little he can survive on. (They forced a mattress and headboard on him; sleep was another thing he hasn’t needed or done in so long, he just remembers going cold and then… cold again, but waking up this time.) In the old days, if he was really desperate, he might have hocked it for grocery money or a heating bill in the winter. As the Winter Soldier, he would have handed it over to whoever acted as his handler. (Oh, don’t even ask about what they did to him in the beginning when he first tried to keep things, trinkets—a white smooth stone from a river in South America, a handful of pine needles from Siberia, a stolen bracelet from a vendor in Pakistan—something to jog his memory even though they were bound to wipe him clean.)

And he’s unworthy, anyway.

He’s alive. He didn’t even know that he was supposed to be dead.

Steve calls it a miracle sometimes, when he’s feeling particularly maudlin. In all of the world, in all of the chances, they found each other again. Bucky fell off a fucking train (they don’t bring this up much; Buck counters it with Steve plunging out of buildings and a fiery helicarrier) and they’re still together some eighty years later.

Hydra had him. But Buck didn’t care it was the bad guys he killed for. He didn’t want to know. He doesn’t deserve…

And maybe his hand, the fleshy one, trembles as he closes it over his breast and thinks of the people who do deserve this honor.

Riley was awarded this, the Barnes Cross. Sam has pictures of him in his living room, on the wall and more stored in his laptop, one on his phone. He talks about him often, not every day but enough that Bucky understands. It’s healthy, it’s therapy, Sam explained, to be able to talk about Riley. Sometimes he doesn’t mention his fallen partner for weeks at a time, just because he feels like he doesn’t have to. He knows he can and will. Buck doesn’t think Steve ever did this, never talked to the other Commandos or Avengers or SHIELD operatives about the late Bucky. Maybe about James Buchanan Barnes, but Bucky? Who knows. Steve is so tight-lipped about some things.

Sam will probably get questions about this. He can already see the interviews. How would your brother-in-arms, your best friend, feel about this? About a known traitor receiving this award? Does it mean anything, now that we know its original recipient wasn’t all as loyal or as dead as we thought? Doesn’t that sort of go against the point, if he was never dead to begin with? He didn’t give his life in duty, in valor. He lived and much longer than Jack Riley ever did.

But Sam Wilson is a good man. Of course he’ll defend Bucky and Riley and everyone else. Bucky just doesn’t know if he wants him to.

There’s a cross in France with his name on it, though it’s nowhere near where he fell, and one in a DC military graveyard and one untended gravestone in a small fenced Brooklyn plot. He’d rather just throw this medal in along with the others that sit in preserved capsule box where his empty coffin should be. Doesn’t matter which one.

Regardless, to dishonor this medal now would be to dishonor all of its former recipients, even his old self, the one that swims before him and looks vaguely like his current reflection—shorter hair, no dark circles, smile, eyes like water. So he keeps it pinned, for Riley and Sam. For the people, good and evil, that he’s shot down like flies.

His muscles are tensed and skin taut when he walks out again, though no one can tell with his suit on. Natasha and Clint can tell, but they’re both hawks in their own respects. The mottled scars rippling around his metal arm tug slightly from the tension.

He sits down.

Someone tries to say something—probably Steve. His hearing remains at full capacity, but his listening skills are starting to shut down, noises and conversations becoming a long continuous drone. The speeches and awards are over for the night, now it’s just after-party dinner stuff. Polite small talk and friendly wine.

Is that Natasha moving? …No, she sits back down.

His breathing slows until it looks like he’s stopped. But it’s still there, ghosting in and out of his lungs. They have Dr. Banner seated next to Pepper who is next to Tony, who is on Bucky’s right ready to fix arm-relate emergencies. (Thor is on his left, his dangerous side, as he is one of the only people who could easily match his mechanical strength without destroying Harlem; hypothetically, if Bucky snaps (again) Thor will distract/constrain while Tony moves in from behind to disengage the appendage.) Anyway, Bruce is the one who taught him how to regulate his breathing, how to put himself into a trance that wouldn’t trigger trained instincts. The Winter Soldier could do it anyway (how to empty a mind that’s already been made blank?) but it was advantageous to have supervised and improved methods.

Now stop thinking.

No more Cross.

Steve will double tap his right shoulder when it’s time to go.

They’ll unfreeze him soon enough.

*deep inhale*

Rebecca Levin: OBspec, ableism, and canon Orphan Black

I don’t know about you guys, but I really want to talk about Rebecca Levin from the latest obspec script. I’ve wanted to talk about her for some time now and with the release of the latest episode, there are a lot of things about Rebecca that are worth discussing. Today, I want to touch on how Rebecca’s inclusion ties obspec back to the original, canon source material and how her introduction enhances and expands those themes.

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Memoria...()

The Parts I - II - III- IV

It’s a slow day at the precinct, a slow day for you. There was some huge op going on with Guns and Gangs - with nothing much for you to do. You really didn’t have to come to the precinct today, but it’s not like you had anywhere to go. After about 3 hours of aimlessly wandering about the precinct, you realize that you really didn’t have to be there. After one final check in with Traci - who’s busy running the op behind the scenes, you decide to go about your other new-found pass time, driving about the city aimlessly till you deemed it late enough to go home and fall on the bed and sleep.

You grab your stuff and head out of the station, and mindlessly trudge towards the car till you notice her sitting on the bench outside, waiting for someone, complete with a packed suitcase.

You hadn’t really seen her for the past few weeks - after running out of her house at top speed. You could have just pretended to not notice her and gone your own way, but you can’t do that. If it were anyone else, you would have just hopped into your car and driven off to nowhere - but it’s her - and before you know it - you’re standing in front of her, raising an eyebrow at her flustered face.

‘Hey. I was waiting for Traci. My assistant was supposed to drive me down to the airport, but she bailed on me in the last minute so I asked if she Traci could -’ she begins to explain, and you know Traci was in no way going to able to do anything of that sort, and now you know where exactly you’re heading now.

'I’ll drop you off.’ you offer, as casually as you can, not really sure if you can really make it through a car ride with her.

'You sure? I can just get a cab -’ she begins, but you wordlessly take her suitcase and drag it to your car and quite literally throw it in the back, while she walks over to the passenger seat of the car. You take a moment before you actually get in the car, wondering what actually possessed you to do that.

The drive to the airport is quite about 45 minute one - with all the traffic - and you don’t really ask about how long she’s got till her flight. You knew Holly was one of those people who always made it to the airport with plenty of time to spare, not one for hurrying at the last minute.

Your concentration is half on the road, half on making it through this car ride without spilling your guts to her. She doesn’t seem to be keen on talking either, and save a few random questions about work down at the precinct; she doesn’t seem to mind the silence.

Except fifteen minutes into the journey, the silence seems forced. You can feel it, the tension in the air, from questions longing to be asked and answered, and you’re gripping the wheel tighter with each passing minute.

'Gail.’ she begins and you can already feel your guard slipping. Badly.

'Hmm?’

'What is this?’ she asks, a vague question, and you know what she exactly what she means, and you’re in no heart to give in now.

'I’m driving you to the airport?’

'Not that.’

You internally sigh, you had hoped to go on forever without having this very conversation, and here it is. You do take a while to actually say something, not sure what to say or where to begin even, and you can feel her nervousness build up as you don’t reply.

'Hol -’ you finally give in and reply in an almost tired tone, sure enough - the thought of the last 5 years leaves you more drained than anything.

'I’m just curious - we never had a chance to talk about this.’ she begins to ramble, sheer nervousness in her voice.

'Don’t you think we should have had this talk 5 years ago?’ you cut back, coming off sharper than you intend to. You see she’s quite taken aback, but you know you didn’t say anything that didn’t need to be said.

'I was wondering what this means, Gail.’ she replies, gesturing to you and the car, in that articulate way of hers.

'We magically run into each other 5 years later, you really think it has to mean something?’ you finish in a tone more biting than you anticipated, and she gets the hint and falls back into the seat, giving up on the conversation.

The rest of the car ride continues in uncomfortable silence, and you really begin to hope you had stayed at the precinct. She’s rummaging through the glove compartment of the car, looking through all the odds and ends that gathered in the box over the years, as you drive in silence, your nails digging into the lining of the steering wheel. As you near the parking - she gears up to leave, and for the first time you realize that the uncomfortable silence you just shared in the car with her was amongst the highlights of the last 5 years you had. In the parking lot of the airport, she hauls out her suitcase out of the car, and seeing her leave you (of sorts)- brings up a rush of feelings you didn’t know you had.

You’re standing next to her, suddenly wishing you had actually talked to her, when she pulls you in for a tight hug. You can feel her clinging hard to you, you’re sure  you are clutching her just as tight. Feeling her body close to yours, feeling her take a deep breath against you, you truly realize how badly you’ve missed her. She’s the one to break the hug, and she nods at you before taking the suitcase and making her way to the terminal. And you join her, slowly walking with her to  the check-in counter.

Spite all the bustle and noise of the airport, you notice how it all fades to background noise as you walk with her,and it’s always been like . For all the chaos that’s going on around the two of you at the busy airport, it all feels like silence, and just the two of you walking towards the counter.

Without asking, she takes a seat at one of the empty waiting area-benches, and you sit next to her, taking a moment to gather your thoughts.

'I think - I was an idiot, and you were an idiot’ - you begin and she laughs a little at that statement.

'We were both idiots.’ she replies and you nod, and wasn’t that the truth.

'But I think that divorce was the best thing we could have done at that time, Hol.’ you say, and she nods in agreement.

'And whatever this is - I think we both know where this road ends, Hol.’ you tell her, for the first time noticing the lump you’ve got in your throat and that you’re actually on the verge of tears. You lean against the back of the bench, trying to not lose it in a busy airport. In an attempt to change the conversation, you realize you didn’t actually ask her where she was going.

'Where are you headed to?’ you ask, and seeing the one suitcase, you assume it isn’t for long.

'San Francisco. Convention for two weeks.’ she replies, also trying not to think too much about the little talk you just had. She also sees that it’s quite late, and it’s time for her to check in.

'It’s getting delayed a bit -’ she says and you bid her goodbye and wait till she’s out of your sight before going back to the parking lot.

Sliding into the driver’s seat and slamming the door, you think over the conversation and think that it could have gone better. You slam your fist into the wheel, wishing you were better at voicing out what you felt, when you look to the glove compartment and remember a crucial bit of information. You lean over to open it, and pulling out the stacks of the papers, at the bottom of all junk that had gathered there, you find the little object you had thrown into the compartment a long time ago.

Your wedding ring.

singelisilverslippers replied to your post “prompt me?”

unbeknownst to the rest of the avengers, darcy lewis befriends bucky barnes post ca:tws

“Marcy? Venti vanilla soy macchiato for Marcy?”

Darcy swoops in and grabs her drink, which has a sharpie scribble on the side that bears little to no resemblance to her actual name. She’s used to this–even Pride and Prejudice can’t keep overworked baristas from mangling Darcy beyond recognition–and she will answer to Marcy, Marcia, Darla, Daria, Danny, or Mandy if it gets her the drink she shelled out four bucks for. Once she fought off a guy named Darren who tried to swipe her americano using only a drink stirrer and an increasingly shrill voice.

She turns around and scowls–waiting for her order didn’t clear out the seating area any, and all six tables are currently occupied. There’s a single chair open, between Knitting Hipster and Some Tourist Recharging Her iPhone, but she doesn’t want to have to balance her MacBook and her drink while kicking away errant balls of wool-blend. She guesses she could head back to the Tower, but that kind of defeats the whole purpose of packing up her bag to head out for her lunch hour.

Just then, Middle-Aged Guy Working His Way Through a Tenth Grade Lit Syllabus drains the last of his iced chai, closes The Catcher in the Rye, and stands. Darcy practically leaps for his table, yanking her laptop and charging cord out and cementing her claim. Right by the window, nice. This is usually where Long-Sleeve Jesus sits, but he’s nowhere to be seen, which means she feels zero guilt about snagging the spot.

From this table, she’s got a clear line of sight down the block to the main entrance to the Tower. There’s the usual gaggle of people on the sidewalk outside, snapping selfies and lingering a few moments in the vague hope of maybe spotting an Avenger. Yeah right. Darcy lives in that building and she once saw Tony Stark and a guy Jane swore was Bruce Banner from waaay across a glass-walled lab complex, and that's it. Well, she’s chilled with Thor a couple of times, whenever he’s hanging around Midgard with the little people, but that's it. She might’ve once shared an elevator with Hawkeye–it was a guy with a bitchy resting face hidden behind reflective shades and a tube strapped to his back that might’ve been the right size to hold a bow, but he said nothing and she said nothing and the elevators are really really fast, so the ride was over pretty quickly. Anyway. Avengers are rare.

Honestly, the only reason she’s here in Manhattan, living in Tony Stark’s building, is because SHIELD turned out to be full of Nazis or something and literally crashed and burned all over the Potomac. After that, Stark got really hinky about keeping everybody close by, so Captain America and Black Widow got relocated from D.C., Thor formally invited to stop taking over Jane’s mom’s guest room in London, and Hawkeye dragged in from fuck knows where–she’s heard Europe, she’s heard Brooklyn–to become Stark’s new penthouse buddies. She’s not sure how often any of them are really home, though. She herself got moved into a shockingly-okay little cube of an apartment on the thirty-first floor, as part of the “friends and family” benefits package. It's technically Jane’s cube of an apartment, and Darcy is technically only supposed to be her roommate because Jane pitched a fit about losing her “intern,” but Jane actually lives in Thor’s suite, leaving Darcy with her very own rent-free Midtown address. At this point, she’s just going with the flow of her life and not stressing about it, because at nineteen, when she first dropped her summer internship application off in the box affixed to the door of “Dr. J Foster” in the physics building, she never would’ve figured herself for superhero-adjacent.

Someone stops in front of her table and she glances briefly up, then her eyes go wide. Shit, it’s Long-Sleeve Jesus, and he’s obviously trying to figure out where he’s gonna sit, since she’s at his table. She glances over her shoulder, and Tourist is gone, but Adorable Lesbians have taken over both of the chairs. Darcy grimaces, then kicks the other chair out away from the table.

“I’m not using it,” she says, then hunkers behind her laptop screen as Long-Sleeve Jesus hesitates, then places his drink down on the table and sits.

“…thanks,” he says at last, and his voice is suprisingly soft for the whole ponytail-and-beard thing he’s got going on. She peeks up at him and he’s already doing his usual thing, looking out the window down the street, the bill of his beat-up ballcap making the circles under his eyes look darker and deeper than they might otherwise. He’s a weirdo–it’s like eighty degrees today, nobody wears long sleeves and gloves in this kind of weather unless they’re in uniform or a weirdo–but he seems like a pretty harmless weirdo.

The rest of her lunch hour goes pretty quickly, and she packs up and leaves him still sitting there, looking out the window.

About a week later, she can’t find a spot to sit because she accidentally timed it so she coincided her break with the coffee-stop for about thirty Korean teenage tourists. She grabs Darry’s macchiato–is that even a fucking name?–and is prepared to walk her sorry ass back to the Tower when Long-Sleeve Jesus makes eye contact with her and tilts his head a little. She slides in across from him gratefully and pulls out her laptop.

So a nice weirdo, then.

After that, she and Jesus have an unspoken arrangement where, if there’s nothing else available, they’ll share the window table. They basically never talk, except maybe when Darcy accidentally kicks his leg under the table every now and again, so it works out okay. About a month into this, though, Darcy’s in the middle of sending her mom an email when she finally just plants her elbows on the table, folds her laptop screen down a little, and goes, “Dude, what the hell is your name?”

Long-Sleeve Jesus reluctantly tears his eyes from the window and blinks owlishly at her. “What?”

Darcy raises her eyebrows. “Your name?”

His lips part, just a little, and he looks down and away, like he’s thinking. Well that’s reassuring. After a moment, he wrinkles his brow and says, very quietly, “James.” He looks up at her from under the brim of his cap, like he’s trying to gauge if that was the right answer.

She squints at him, trying to decide if that’s actually his name or not. Eh, fuck it. He shaved over the weekend, so he’s stubbly but no longer beardy, and the term “Jesus” doesn’t really fit anymore, so she’ll accept it.

“Hi, James. I’m–,” she holds up her cup, with its illegible scrawl, “–Darleen.”

His lips twitch into the ghost of a smile. “Hey,” he replies.

“Cool,” she says, opening her laptop fully back up. “Next month, be prepared to tell me where you’re from.”

It finally starts getting a little cooler, so Long-Sleeve James doesn’t look like so much of a weirdo. Darcy’s just glad that she gets to go back to wearing all of her favorite sweaters.

She’s watching Netflix with her headphones in one Thursday, sitting across from James, who’s still looking out the window, his usual tall cup of black coffee between glove-covered hands. Suddenly she gets the creeping sensation that someone’s staring at her, and she glances up and out the window behind James to see a red-haired woman in a gorgeous trenchcoat looking straight at them, cellphone pressed to her ear. Darcy blinks, then her mouth drops open. That is Black Widow.

James catches her expression, then looks over his shoulder. She’s getting ready to whisper to him about who it is when he basically explodes into motion. He nearly upends their table leaping to his feet, and Darcy shrieks as the remains of his coffee and her latte go flying, lids popping off and liquid getting all over her and her very not-cheap MacBook.

What the hell–” she starts, but he’s taken off at a dead run, past her, past Knitting Hipster and Service Dog Guy, out the other entrance. There’s a blur of red outside the window, and apparently Black Widow is in pursuit. Darcy is left just standing there with her coffee-stained sweater and dripping laptop, wondering what the fuck just happened.

She has her very first run-in with Captain America four days later, and it’s not across a lobby or in an elevator. No, Captain America knocks on her flippin’ door at ten-thirty on a Monday night. Darcy makes a very undignified squeaking noise when she looks through the peephole, but manages to get it together in time to open the door.

“Darcy Lewis?” he asks. Holy shit, he knows her name. He’s standing there in sweatpants and the tightest tee known to man and for the first time it really dawns on her that she lives in the same place the Avengers live.

“Hi,” she replies. Ah damn, she only sorta got the squeaking under control.

“Here,” he says, handing over a big, heavy bag. He looks a little tired, a little rough, but he manages a smile. “Buck says sorry.”

She gives him a weirded-out look, then glances down into the bag. There’s a brand-spanking-new MacBook in there, still in its box. A yellow post-it has been stuck to the top, and Darleen has been gracelessly scrawled across it.

“Oh my god,” she manages, then leans out into the hallway. Down near the elevator bank, Long-Sleeve James is fidgeting, except he’s not wearing long sleeves for once, and one of his arms is made of fucking metal. “Oh my god!” she shouts accusingly down at him. “I thought you were some sort of international terrorist I was inadvertantly aiding and abetting!”

He just slams his non-metal palm into the elevator button bank and scoots back into the first one that opens, out of sight. What a fucking weirdo.

Captain America is still standing there, looking a little brittle but like he’s trying to be friendly. “That okay?” he asks, nodding toward the bag.

Darcy scowls down the hallway for another second, then clutches the bag tighter. “Oh man. Uh. Yes, thank you. This is way nicer than my current one? You didn’t have to–”

“It’s okay,” he cuts her off. “It’s okay, really, I wanted to. Dr. Foster said yours was acting up, something about your keys not working? And uh. Thanks for keeping him company, I guess.”

“That’s Bucky Barnes,” she says, just to confirm.

Captain America folds his arms across his massive chest and does this little wincing shrug thing. “He’s. He needs some time. I gotta go, I gotta check on him, the elevators won’t move without me with him, Tony’s orders, but I gotta–”

“Got it, cool. Thanks for the computer, Cap,” Darcy says, tossing off a little salute which she instantly regrets. He smiles tightly, turns, and heads for the elevators. She can’t help watching him for just a moment longer, then she heads back into her apartment.

She pulls the box from the bag and presses her cheek to the cool cardboard. Nothing like that new electronic feel.

“Oh my god,” she says to nobody in particular, then she gets started booting up her brand new guilt-computer.