except he never did

Also well played dad that you know when your daughter has a one night stand with a pop star. When he was in Jamaica. Or was it la. This year? Or two years ago when she was 18? Also well done on your fab hearing - so good you heard her name when he was singing on the today show. Because that’s how she found out, right? After all, that’s the line in the song? Handy! So even though she didn’t know it was coming, she had made all her sm private. Except her name. And Carolina. And LA. And yet somehow your family tree is in the dm. With pics. And the follow by Cam Azoff is because… Harry liked her so much? But never followed her or saw her again. Except he did. To let her know. Except he didn’t. Although they are friendly.

Originally posted by yourreactiongifs





So, a long-ass time ago, Rose and Dave had a conversation like this:

TT: After you go, what do you think will happen to me?
TT: Will I just cease to exist?
TG: i dont know
TG: i mean your whole timeline will
TG: maybe
TT: Maybe?
TT: Is there a chance it’ll continue to exist, and I’ll just be here alone forever?
TT: I’m not sure which outcome is more unsettling.
TG: the thing with time travel is
TG: you cant overthink it
TG: just roll with it and see what happens
TG: and above all try not to do anything retarded
TT: What do you think I should do?
TG: try going to sleep
TG: our dream selves kind of operate outside the normal time continuum i think
TG: so if part of you from this timelines going to persist thats probably the way to make it happen
TT: Ok.
TG: and hey you might even be able to help your past dream self wake up sooner without all that fuss you went through
TT: I think the true purpose of this game is to see how many qualifiers we can get to precede the word “self” and still understand what we’re talking about.

This is the most important sentence in Homestuck.

I am dead serious.

Well, OK, I mean, it’s pretty important for understanding some major Homestuck themes and shit or something like that.

Also, I totally should have said: Pre-Retcon Doomed Timeline Non-Dreamself Rose but ultimately about to become Dreamself Rose who semi-merged with Pre-Retcon Alpha Timeline Rose and Doomed Timeline Dave aka Davesprite AKA future Davepetasprite^2 or as we all call them around the office, Davepeta, had that conversation.

Maybe you begin to see what I’m going to talk about here.

One of the major frustrations a lot of people had with the retcon was that the characters we ended up with at the end weren’t the ones we’d come to love and know throughout the story. Was it even worth it, to lose the characters we loved to the tyranny of Game Over? The victorious kids, with the exception of John and Roxy, were other people, with other histories, other goals, and other choices.

Allow me to submit that that may be the whole point.

SBURB is cruel. We’ve known that for a long time. It’s cruel not as Caliborn is cruel, but as the cosmos is cruel, as a supernova is cruel. It wants what it wants, and doesn’t care about how that intersects with the needs of humanity. It wants to make universes through a complex game-playing method, and drags hapless, vulnerable adolescents along for the ride. And most of the time it doesn’t even succeed, leaving its champions to rot in a doomed timeline or similar! Skaia’s victory is an amoral creation myth where individual human beings are just the carved pieces on the chessboard. (I mean, the other ones. Not the carapacians.)

Again, let’s consider the theme of VIDEO GAMES vs. REAL LIFE.

Homestuck, let’s be real, is basically some postmodern horror timey-wimey Jumanji. For a generation way more familiar with pixels than cute little tokens It’s easy for teenagers and in fact, basically everyone, to fantasize about escaping their life and slipping into some game world forever, where they get to do awesome things and be a heroic person.

Homestuck makes that literal. Congratulations, everything you ever knew is dead. You will never see it again, except your internet friends, who turn out also to be your family and other important people. I mean, from a distance, SBURB sounds like an awesome game, right? You figure out who you are and get to wear a cool costume displaying that identity. You get to make anything you want and enjoy this hyperflexible mythology tailored to YOUR CHOICES. HS fans talk all the time about how cool it would be to play a real version of SBURB. That’s a big part of the appeal of SBURB fan adventures. They put you and your friends in the story. Or your favorite characters! It sounds like a fantasy come true.

The thing is, as fantastical as it is, it’s also really fucked up, and ultimately you and your friends are being used. By a giant frog to let it have its babies. By the universe. By a smug blue cloud thing that doesn’t care about you at all.

SBURB does not care about you at all.

The funny thing, SBURB features a mythology with so many layers and nuances and seemingly human motifs about growth and self that you might search for some grand ultimate meaning behind it, but it’s not even human enough to have a personality, to be something you can argue with or fight. It just is. It’s all the cruelty and power of a god without any of the dazzling personality. It’s empty. It just wants to make universes all day long, or fail trying. It is a great, weird tadpole-making machine that eats children.

One of the big ways it doesn’t care about you is its attitude toward the self. Humans and trolls and whatnot prefer not to be relentlessly duplicated. SBURB says, oh yeah, let’s make tons of copies of the player characters and use them for a lot of different purposes.

There’s the dreamself, an essential bifurcation of identity (you are now and were always the dream moon princex) that sometimes gets merged into god tier but sometimes doesn’t. There’s doomed timeline selves, who exist ultimately to augment an Alpha timeline whose Alphaness is decided very arbitrarily and frequently by Lord English. There’s the you who exists before a scratched session and the you who exists afterward, who are two different people but started as one baby in an act of ectobaby meteor duplication, your player self and your guardian self. Dead timeline yous fill up the dreambubbles made by the horrorterrors and get endlessly confused with each other. Any one of these could be the you experience being at any given moment, and which one it is entirely arbitrary. Don’t like being Dead Nepeta #47? Tough hoofbeast leavings, kiddo.

To top it all off, in Terezi: Remember, we learn that every single time we thought someone changed from one self to another, was resurrected or something like that, it was another act of duplication. For every time someone’s died, there’s another version of them waiting in the Dream Bubbles, surprised that they’re not the main character anymore. And we have no way of knowing which is which. Even John, good old everyman John, may or may not be the person who died three or four times. It’s really impossible to say whether we’ve been following the same person throughout our story, or just the illusion of the same person, like a horrifying cosmic flipbook.

The retcon is a return to this same theme. Ultimately, there’s very little new in the changes John makes to reality except that they drive the point home.

John’s friends all died. John and his friends won the game. These things are both true at the same time, except those things may not have happened to the same people. There was a happy ending. Hooray! For, um, some folks who may or may not be the ones we care about. In fact, it’s very confusing, because from Rose’s perspective, Roxy is dead but came back to life, and from Roxy’s perspective Rose is dead but came back to life, except also she came back to life as a weird tentacle catgirl of pure id and self –indulgence. So there’s that. Um. Which Rose are we rooting for again?

Or wait: is it none of them, because the first Rose died in a doomed timeline, hundreds of panels and a number of years ago?

There’s a tension here which one experiences between saying it’s okay because it’s still the same people, and saying it’s not okay, because it’s not the same people at all. This tension is exactly what we’re meant to wrestle with. To put it another way, Homestuck asks if identity can work in aggregate. Are all Johns John, all Roses Rose, and do they all share in what they accomplish? Or are the final victors only accidents created by the whims and needs of the frog baby machine?

What I’m saying, basically, is that the retcon, in the sense that it pointed out our confused relationship with these characters, was already here.

In interviews and questions put to him over the years, Hussie constantly compares HS and SBURB to other video games, particularly Mario, which he frequently returns to as a baseline of comparison that most of his readers will know. One answer, from a recent Hiveswap interview, is particularly revelatory. To the question of “Why do you kill off all your characters?” Hussie replies:

[…]HS is supposedly a story that is also a game. In games, the characters die all the time. How many times did you let Mario fall in the pit before he saved the princess? Who weeps for these Marios. In games your characters die, but you keep trying and trying and rebooting and resetting until finally they make it. When you play a game this process is all very impersonal. Once you finally win, when all is said and done those deaths didn’t “count”, only the linear path of the final victorious version of the character is considered “real”. Mario never actually died, did he? Except the omniscient player knows better. HS seems to combine all the meaningless deaths of a trial-and-error game journey with the way death is treated dramatically in other media, where unlike our oblivious Mario, the characters are aware and afraid of the many deaths they must experience before finally winning the game.

The big man hass the answer.

Homestuck is the story of those dead Marios.

Other works, like Undertale, have engaged with this topic as well. But one of the major differences between Undertale and Homestuck is that in Undertale, between “lives,” one’s consciousness is preserved. In Homestuck, it’s discontinuous, and the value of the overall trial-error process is called into question by the fact that you, the player, may not even get to experience the victory. What meaning does victory hold if that is the case?

So, to put it in a nice thesis format:

One of the central themes of Homestuck is the challenge of reconciling an arbitrary and destructive pattern of growth and victory with the death and suffering you experienced along the way. Homestuck asks: is victory worthwhile if you’re not you anymore? And would you be able to know?

What even is the self? Is there such a thing?

If you were left feeling somewhat disconcerted by our heroes’ tidy victory and departure to their cosmic prize, or by how which Rose gets the spotlight is so deeply, deeply arbitrary, there’s a good reason for that. You’re supposed to be.

The philosophical problem of Wacky Cat Rose is insignificant next to the bullshit of SBURB.

And don’t forget—John and Roxy’s denizens helped them achieve the retcon. Ultimately, the victory they achieved was mediated by the same amoral system of SBURB, and was a victory over an enemy, Caliborn, whose power was created, perpetuated, and ended by that same system.

Okay, so here’s where it gets contentious. There’s an argument to be made, which I’m not sure how I feel about, that some of the character development that could have been in post-retcon Act 6 was left out precisely to push this feeling and play up this tension. Note that this is not the same thing as saying that they were deliberately badly written, but that they’re deliberately written to make us uneasy.That Hussie deliberately played with the balance between making these retconned characters feel familiar and making them feel eerily different to leave us feeling uneasy with the result.

I’m not sure I like that idea. It smacks a little too much of that “everything is perfect” thinking that comes sometimes from the far Metastuck camp. Some of the differences may also be the result of flawed writing. (See: Jane and Jake’s character arcs, which I might talk about later.) And I want to be able to critique those flaws. Ultimately, I think we still needed more time and development to figure out who these new people were—even if our goal was ultimately to compare them to their earlier selves. And again, more conscious acknowledgement of the problem from our heroes—especially John, the linchpin in this last and biggest act of duplication—might have helped drive this theme home.

Still, I think the Problem of Dead Marios is one of the most fundamental questions of Homestuck, maybe THE biggest question. It’s essential to understand it to understand what Hussie’s doing—or attempting to do— in the retcon and the ending.

I don’t know that Homestuck offers us a clear answer to that question. There are some confusions around the issue, too. Where do merged selves fit in, exactly? Clearly they’re a big part of the discussion, because Hussie spends some time in Act 6, especially near the end bringing the identity-merging powers of the Sprites to the forefront. (See also: the identity-merged nightmare that is Lord English.)  Can we even come up with a clear answer to what it means when a dead Mario returns to life grotesquely fused with Toad? How does he beat the game? Does he tell himself that the princess is in another castle? Or what if he merges with Peach? Are they their own princess? How do they know if they’re in the right castle?

Um. Anyway—

Interestingly, it’s not all grotesque—spritesplosions suggest that personalities that are too different don’t stay together long, so a fusion might rely on some inherent compatibility between the two players. Erisol’s self-loathing, sure, but also Fefeta’s cheerfulness. Davepeta seems to be a way of bringing out the best in their players, a way of getting Davesprite past his angst and Nepeta past her fear. Honestly, I know a lot of people don’t like Davepeta as the ending of these two characters’ arcs, but I can’t help but love it. They’re the ultimate coolkid. Cool enough to know they don’t have to be cool. Regular Dave got there, too, of course. But was his retcon assist from John ultimately any different?

Then, of course, we come to Davepeta’s speech to Jade in one of the last few updates before Collide. Davepeta suggests that there is such a thing as an ultimate self beyond the many different selves one piles up throughout the cosmos. A set of principles that describes who you are that’s larger than any individual instance of you. Your inherent Mariohood. (Maybe this is comparable to your Classpect identity, which attempts to describe who you are?) Davepeta even tells Jade, strikingly, that one might learn to see beyond the barriers between selves. Be the ur-self, in practice, rather than theory. This would be incredible news for Jade, who wrestles with the issue of different selves perhaps more than any other character. (There’s a lot to say about Jade.)

Honestly, I wish this ur-self idea had been developed more, and I honestly expected it to be. It doesn’t fully come to fruition, I feel. (Same goes for Davepeta’s character. Ohhhh, ZING!) I’m not sure it entirely makes philosophical sense, especially with fusion—I mean, doesn’t Davepeta themself disprove it? Or at least complicate it? Like, are they part of the ur-Dave or the ur-Nepeta? They seem to imply they’re BOTH? Does that even work? Does that mean that Marieach is all the Peaches and Marios at once?

(In fact, Bowser/Peach/Mario are but the three manifestations of one eternal principle. Also, Bowser/Peach are the true power couple. Read my fanfiction plz.)

And what, say, of Dirk, who ultimately ends up rejecting aspects of his other selves? It feels like there’s a lot more you could say here, and I wonder if Hussie would have said more, if he’d had time. What’s weird is, none of our victorious kids never reach an ur-self (though to their descendants, they become archetypal to some degree), which one might have expected. They’re just individual selves who happened to get lucky. Does that make them representative of the whole? It feels like something’s missing here, or like something got dropped at the last minute.

Same goes for the idea of the Ultimate Riddle. You’d be forgiven for missing it, but there’s been this riddle in the background lore of SBURB that seems to have something to do with personal agency in this overwhelming, overarching system. Karkat called it predestination, saying something like “ANY HOPE YOU HAD OF DOING THINGS OTHERWISE WAS JUST A RUSE.” But others have interpreted it more positively. My favorite interpretation, from bladekindeyewear: the answer to the Riddle is that YOU shape the timeline through your existence, personality, and choices, even when it looks like it’s all predestination. Ultimately it’s your predestination, your set of events, based deeply on your nature, that you are creating. Someone like Caliborn can use his innate personality to achieve power; someone like John might be able to use it to achieve freedom.

I definitely expected something like that to be expressed more explicitly. Like, a big ah-ha moment that helps John or Jade or whoever understand how to escape Caliborn’s system. Something like that would have been very helpful for a lot of our heroes, actually, who’ve been pushed around by Skaia and SBURB together, in finding a cathartic ending.  Once again, I wonder if something was dropped or rushed because there wasn’t time to put it all in. There’s places where you can see hints of that Answer being implied, maybe? But it’s kind of ambiguous.

You can see how the Answer to the Ultimate Riddle ties into some of Davepeta’s ideas. If your personality, the rules of your behavior are a fundamental archetype that goes beyond each individual self, then the answer to whether it matters if one self of yours makes it through to victory is an emphatic YES. You are all of those people, and by winning one round with Skaia, you’ve won the whole game, despite all the arbitrary challenges and deaths it heaps upon you along the way.

This may strike some as too positive for Skaia’s brutality, or again, some way of excusing flaws in many characters’ arcs, or unfair things that happen to them. To be fair, I don’t know that Davepeta’s necessarily meant to be taken as authoritative or the voice of Hussie. They may simply be offering a purrspective.

Hussie not choosing to come right out and engage with the Ultimate Riddle leaves the question of Dead Marios and what they mean for the victorious versions of our cast very open. I like that in some ways—let the reader decide—but I can’t help but wish we had more to work with in making that decision. Plus, it might have brought the thematic messages of Homestuck all the way home to tie them more closely to our characters and their experiences—character development being one of the things most people found most lacking in the ending.

NEXT TIME: All that wacky gnostic stuff probably

That moment right before you decide to kiss your wife on the live stream.

I’m STILL shook


Inspired by Kendrick Lamar.

 Warnings: serious infatuation…

Jungkook x reader 

A/N: If you think this is low-key creepy, then you understood the whole concept. Listen to the song and you’ll understand.“>

Lust was all it ever was.  

Keep reading

before you ask, YES.

this was in the manga. 

this is not the anime desperately backtracking on the gay line.

we don’t know what isayama was doing, because reiner pretending he’s not into girls with ymir is literally never brought up again. 

i don’t have the foggiest idea why isayama even added that line (Except for a theory I won’t share with the public).

And any SnK fan who tells you it has some symbolism or meaningful purpose is a liar and a thief. 

Ellie and Atlas
(from my fic Laxus Tries Not To Adopt a Kid (And Gives Up Pretty Quickly))

THEY’RE CUTE OKAY. I bet Bix shipped the Fraxus baby and the ElfEver baby so hard.

Three’s a Crowd (Anthony Ramos x Reader)

Heyyyy everyone. Hope you enjoy this fic, I loved writing this it was so much fun. Shoutout to my friend @pumpernickelbae for first reading this fic for me and being so supportive of my writing, and also, shoutout to my friend @omqitsnaya because she was so engaged while reading this and telling me all these thing while she was reading them and she’s just an angel. i love them so much. 

Pairing: Anthony Ramos x Reader

Summary: You try to figure out how to tell Anthony you’re pregnant. With triplets.

Word count: 2086

Warnings: Just cursing, a cute Anthony being really oblivious to everything

You were having triplets. The moment the doctor said it you could hardly believe it.

Excuse me?” You asked, your voice rising to high decibels.

The doctor turned to look at you. “You’re having triplets.” She said with a small smile.

You sat there, feeling shocked. When you were in the car, you were still shocked. When you got home, you were still in a state of complete shock. You and Anthony were going to have to take care of three babies. You didn’t think you could even handle one baby, and now you found out you have to take care of three.

Keep reading


♡♡♡ Valentine’s Day Drabble 11/13 ♡♡♡

Originally posted by shininghoshi

Member: DK/Seokmin
Genre: Angst
Word Count: 1155 (this isn’t even a drabble anymore)

He hadn’t heard from you in six weeks. You had sent him a quick text that said ‘I’ll call you back in a little bit,’ except you never did. At first he thought you had just fallen asleep and then gotten too busy to talk to him, but after a few days he started to worry. He sent you text after text asking where you had gone, telling you that he loved you, telling you that he missed you. His stomach tied itself in knots as each day without a reply passed. If you weren’t on entirely different continents, he would have been at your door already.

Long distance relationships were hard. Secret long distance relationships were even harder. What wasn’t hard, however, was disappearing without a trace. Seokmin couldn’t show up at your door to check up on you, and he couldn’t call up any of your friends to ask about you. Every night that passed without word from you, he grew more and more anxious. Had something terrible happened to you? Had you been kidnapped? Had you just broken your phone and lost all your contacts? Had you decided that it was too much keeping this relationship up, and decided to just ghost on him? He couldn’t decide if knowing would have been worse than not knowing what happened.

He found himself listening to his voicemails to feel close to you again. He replayed the short clips of you saying things like ‘get on skype, dork, I miss you’ or ‘you must be asleep, I just wanted to call and let you know that I love you’ and he tried to hold back his tears. Tried.

After a month and a half, he was still just as broken up. He had no idea where the love of his life had gone, and there was no way he was going to just get over that. He had to do something. He’d never been to where you lived. You had always been the one to visit him, so he had no clue where to find where your apartment was. He knew what city you lived in. He knew that you worked at a big chain bookstore. All he had to do was get to your city and figure out which bookstore that was. Was this a little creepy? Yeah. Was it gonna stop him? Not at all.

As soon as he had a week off, he was on a plane. He landed and immediately got in a rental car, plugging in the name of the bookstore into the GPS. There were ten locations in your city alone. He didn’t even think about the hassle, his mind was only set on you. It took him hours. Store after store was the same.

“Does Y/N work here?”


He’d just dash back out the door, leaving a confused employee behind. He’d get in the rental car, cross this location off his list, and make his way to the next store. After he had already been to nine stores, he started to get nervous. He sat in the parking lot mulling over what to do if this wasn’t it. He had nowhere else to go after this. He held his breath and exited the car. He went in and came up to the counter like he had done nine times before.

“Does Y/N work here?” he asked quietly.

“Oh, yeah, uh, yeah. Not since the thing…but I guess they might be back soon?” the woman at the counter said, a nervous edge on her voice.

“What do you mean, what thing?”

The woman gave him your address and told him the basics of what had happened. He couldn’t believe what he heard, but he needed to get to you quick after hearing it. He sped to your apartment building, and tried his hardest to keep his breath steady as he went up the escalator up to your floor. His heart was about to beat out of his chest by the time he was knocking on your door.

“One minute,” he heard you call from inside. His chest clenched of the sound he had missed so, so much. There was rusting on the other side of the room for a long time. The door finally opened with a struggle, and he was taken aback from the sight of you. You were shockingly beautiful to him still, he took in the color of your hair, the look of your nose, and the way you mouth opened in surprise at the sight of him. He also couldn’t help but notice the new things about you he hadn’t gotten to see yet. The crutch you supported yourself on, and the small bandaged lump connected to your shoulder where your arm once was.

You collapsed forward into him as you burst into tears, and he carefully held you in his arms as you clutched him with your one remaining hand. You had missed him just as much as he had missed you, and now he was right in front of you. After the accident you hadn’t physically been able to reach out to him, but once you could… you weren’t sure if you wanted to. Would he love you even if you were broken like this?

You ended up back inside your apartment on your couch, where you clung to him and cried and apologized. You explained what happened, you told him about how you were lucky to escape with your life. There was no way you should have lived after your little car collided with a semi, but you did. Or, at least, most of you did. You lost your arm and a lot of feeling in one of your legs. Your life would never be the same, and you didn’t wanna weigh your celebrity boyfriend down with it. He had too much on his plate already.

Except, you wouldn’t weigh him down. He comforted you. He told you that losing you for those six weeks was the worst experience of his life. He loved you. And he wasn’t going to let you forget that.

“Seokmin?” you said, wiping the last tears from your face.

“Yeah?” he smiled down at you and rubbed your side comfortingly.

“Do you realize what today is?”

“…Tuesday?” he furrowed his brows, thinking hard.

“It’s Valentine’s day.” you said, smiling back at him for the first time since he arrived. You watched his eyes widen.

“Oh my god, I totally forgot! I’m so sorry, oh my god, I should leave and buy you cho–”

“Shhhhh.” you hushed. “This is the best thing I could have ever asked for. Other than my arm back.” you joked, cringing at your own situation. It was true, though. He really loved you. Enough to cross the ocean and search high and low for you. Enough to love you when you’ve broken. Enough to stay with you through anything.

- Marcy

Undisclosed Love Affair

Originally posted by kulo-ren

The sound of pencils moving across paper was the only thing to be heard in the student lounge that afternoon. Y/N and Jughead sat next to each other, however kept enough distance in order to draw no attention to them. They had been together for over a month, but chose to keep it a secret from everyone, including their friends. They had both agreed that a futile label from everyone was the only thing they were missing and they were okay with that. 

Archie sat next to Veronica. Betty sat next to Kevin. All as it usually was in Riverdale. However, when the sound of robust laughter rang through the room, they instantly knew trouble was following close behind. Reggie and his friends. 

Y/N and Jughead despised Reggie. His arrogance filled every room he stepped in and suffocated anyone in its path. They exchanged looks and braced themselves for the show that was about to happen. 

And so Reggie arrived. He wore a smug look on his face and crossed his arms over his chest. “Oh look, it’s my best friends,” he ridiculed, sitting on the arm of the couch Jughead and Y/N had been sitting on. Both of them got up, making it evident they didn’t want to be anywhere near him. “Shaggy and Scoob? Where are you off to?” Reggie asked. “A party isn’t a party unless the prude and the boy who only can get some with his computer.” He said making motions with his right hand. 

Y/N scoffed. She couldn’t understand how someone could be so vile. “How about you go do some laps, you ignominious half-wit.” Y/N said. Reggie looked almost dumbfounded, however the smirk on his face soon returned. 

“That was cute.” He told her, bending down so they were at eye-level. “Come over some other time so you can show me what else that mouth can do?” He said. Y/N clenched her fists, wanting nothing more than to punch him in the nose. 

“Reggie, it baffles me you egregious persona hasn’t gotten you beaten up yet.” Jughead laughed sarcastically. Reggie turned to him. 

“What did you just say? Do you like to hide behind words so no one knows that you couldn’t get a girl if your mother’s life depended on it?” Reggie got close to Jughead’s face. He had always ridiculed Jughead for his lack of dating experience. Jughead never really seemed to mind, it was true that he never had a girlfriend, except now he did. “Probably going to get laid in your mid-forties, I’m guessing. Maybe first kiss too?” He asked, laughing with his friends. “You know, now that I’m thinking about it, maybe you and Kevin are doing it. It makes sense.” 

Y/N refused to watch Jughead go through this. Every word Reggie was saying made her more and more mad. He continued to tease Jughead as he just stood there, taking in the words. Jughead wanted to tell Reggie that he did actually have experience and was not alone, however he didn’t want to tell everyone if Y/N wasn’t ready. 

One moment Reggie was laughing, but in an instant, he stopped. Jughead soon realized why; Y/N’s lips were on his. He cupped her face in his hands as they kissed. It was the only time they had shown any affection in public. Jughead almost forgot everyone was around them, but soon snapped back into reality when a voice was heard from the couch.

“Omg. Jughead and Y/N. Something is taking over me, oh right it’s ineffable joy!” Veronica said, smiling. Y/N and Jughead laughed, Reggie remained silent. “Well well Reg, looks like today is not your day!” Veronica laughed as she took out her phone and snapped a picture of the two kids who just gave up their undisclosed love affair. 

Mischief managed

A Drabble Games fic requested by Anonymous, featuring Thorin, Fili, and Kili

66: “It’s not like I go looking for trouble. It just sort of finds me.”
42: “I’m not getting into trouble for you.”

Based on “Imagine courting Thorin and having to earn Fili and Kili’s approval, so you play pranks with them on the rest of the Company” from ImaginexHobbit.


“I’m not getting into trouble for you.”

You crossed your arms, facing down the pair of dwarves who stood before you with matching glints of mischief in their eyes. Oh, Fili and Kili could be a laugh, to be sure, and they’d already managed to persuade you to join them in a handful of harmless pranks, but at their latest scheme you had every intention of drawing the line.

“You won’t, that’s the beauty of it,” Kili enthused.

“This is Dwalin we’re talking about,” you pointed out. “He will kill me. Slowly.”

“Not with Thorin’s braid in your hair, he won’t,” Fili said airily, as he leaned to look over the rampart at the guards stationed at the Gate.

“It’s foolproof,” Kili promised, tugging you by the arm to survey the scene below. “Dwalin comes to oversee the changing of the guard, you tip the water over his head and run. He’ll never know who did it.”

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Starish trying to surprise their s/o by cooking a meal but mishaps happens and it gets burned/forgot some ingredients/mix salt and sugar (you get the idea 😂) but their s/o is still touched by it

What an ask lol.


The guilt in his eyes was obvious. He wanted to do something for you but he messed up. What was supposed to be a good curry rice ended up looking like a gooey mass. The curry was too thick and he was looking everywhere but the plate and you. You sighed and pulled him for a hug.
“Dear its alright.”
“No, ____-chan! I messed up really badly!” He protested. “I just wanted you to feel good when you had some of my cooking…” His garnet eyes trailed off and you placed a kiss on his cheek. “It’s the sentiment that matters, Otoya. Now lets get some ramen?” You smiled cheerfully and he nodded, happy that you appreciated the intent.


“You don’t have to–”
You paid no attention to what he said. You ate without a sound, the burnt food adding a rather..burnt taste to your palate but it was still edible.
When you finished your plate quietly, he just stared at you, a million emotions flying in his eyes. You smiled softly. “I know. Work was too stressful?” You asked and his nod was the reply. He did not like it when he failed you.
You held his hand gently and met his amethyst gaze. “Masato, it wasn’t that bad. It wasn’t tasty but it was edible. Stress can make even the best of chefs worse.” He sighed, acknowledging your words before clenching your hand. Oh, what had he done to deserve a lover like you?


Call the ambulance. The fire brigade. The interior decorator too.

“Oh Natsuki.” You smiled nervously, eyeing the mess he made of the kitchen and strongly doubting the charcoal on the walls. He was beaming, ready to serve you a dish he made especially for you, his darling. You eyed the dish and him. His green eyes screamed a “TRY IT OUT!” and you nodded, your palms sweaty.
What was scary was that the food…looked..good… You took a shaky breath. Maybe it would be good! When you took a bite, your tongue was assaulted in a gazillion of flavors and you felt the air leave your brain, your balance hobbling, your soul somersault out your body as your legs gave way for you to collapse onto the ground.


He was embarrassed, his expression gave it all away as you eyed the plate of food. “You can say its bad.” Your boyfriend mumbled, running a hand through his hair.
“It is bad.” You replied, feigning seriousness and he chuckled. “I’m sorry, _______-san, I just wanted to do something nice but looks like I mistook a few ingredients.” He sighed, looking at the plate of monstrosity he called food.
“It does look like food from hell, lover of mine.” You pointed and his smile warmed you. “Satan would be proud.” He laughed at your added statement. “Alright then. Leave satan aside and put on a coat. We’re eating out. To compensate, I’ll pay the bill and you pick the restaurant.” He never did this but exceptions happen. The glint in your (e/c) eyes made him feel better. “Alright Tokiya.” You beamed, before taking his hand and heading off.


He considered throwing the food into the bin and starting anew. Too late. You already arrived and he cleared his throat.
You sauntered up to the kitchen counter, a smirk highlighting your face. “My my, Ren Jinguuji, perfect chef has prepared food that Gordon Ramsey would swear at.” He rolled his eyes. “Tease all you want, Lady, mistakes happen.” He shook his head with a smile.
“What were you doing while cooking?” You asked, unable to hold back the question. “I left the food to boil. I came too late.” He replied, shrugging one shoulder.
He then went into a room and brought a bouquet of arranged wild lilies and tiny white flowers resembling lace buttons. “Oh lord..” You gaped and he smirked. “Wanted to make this for you. Was so absorbed, thinking about your delight that I forgot the food.” He got onto one knee and handed the bouquet. “Forgive me?”


“Don’t look at that.” Syo grumbled.
“It looks like a corpse.” You answered. He didn’t reply and you giggled. “Don’t laugh!” He muttered, a blush dusting his cheeks. “I’m sorry!!” You laughed harder. “How did you get distracted Syo?! Rule number one is to pay attention while cooking!”
He didn’t reply so you began poking and pestering him for an answer until he gave in. “Alright! Alright! You win.” He mumbled with a growl and you smiled, curiosity evident in your eyes. “Hyuuga-sensei’s program came on tv….I started singing and dancing along to that………..WELL YOU CAN GUESS THE REST!”
You mouth formed an ‘o’ shape and you tried to not laugh. He was endearing but looks like dinner had to be a take out tonight.


You stared at your boyfriend who was covered in flour, ketchup and his apron was put the other way around. You chuckled at the sight before you and he pouted. “My jewel, what is so funny?” You shook your head. “My prince, how did you manage to look like this?”
He recounted his tale. He bought some chicken but while adding flour to it, the bowl slipped and in an attempt to catch it, it somehow magically fell onto him. Second, he was too scared to fry it so he threw the chicken in the oil and ran away, satisfied that it was frying before looking for ketchup to season it. When he finally found the bottle, he smelt something burning and the open ketchup bottle spilt as he tried to salvage the meat. No luck.
He sighed aloud. “My muse, I am sorry for not being able to deliver a meal.” You took his hand and kissed his cheek. “It’s okay, you tried dear.” You said with a smile.
That night, you made dinner and decided that cooking is something your Prince shouldn’t even think of attempting.

anonymous asked:

(Only Asking on anon to not draw attention to myself.) Parent to parent: what tactics do you use to deescalate situations where Minky is acting out / hitting/ throwing things? What conversations have helped? What did it look like at 3 compared to now? Are there any resources you recommend for navigating these situations? Do you use time outs? (I'm writing this with the assumption that you don't use spanking/ physical punishment.) suggestions from your parent followers are welcome too. Need ideas

We’ve been pretty fortunate with Minky in terms of behavior. Like any kids he has his moments, but in general he’s really well behaved (even if he does know how to work our nerves). Hitting/throwing things has never really been something he did with regularity - except for around 3 ½ when he was really struggling with bedtimes and he’d get so upset about being put back in his room that he would try and hit me purely to get my attention. When he was a little, little kiddo (1?) we got the books Hands Are Not For Hitting and Teeth Are Not For Biting and those were helpful for talking about it at a young age, but he has a pretty good sense that hitting/throwing/biting/etc. just aren’t something to do.

I think the biggest issue at around the 3-4 age span for us was just figuring out healthy ways to deal with all the emotions he was dealing with for the first time. He’d sometimes just get really worked up (over any number of things) and just kind of lose it and sob and be upset/frustrated/angry for 30+ minutes. We got a couple of books to talk about that - The Feelings Book and The Angry Octopus as a couple of entry points for talking about those feelings and ways to try and work with them. The intense freakouts have subsided somewhat, but he has also learned a couple of techniques (through conversations and the books) that seem to help him. Usually what works well is some quiet time in his room, maybe turning on some music (especially if it’s not at night), a cool washcloth, and/or just sitting with one of us. We’ve tried to work with him on calming breathing techniques, but it’s just not his thing so far. I’d say toss out a bunch of ways to self-calm and see what sticks or helps on that front.

Now our biggest behavior issues mostly stem either from him not listening to us or from figuring out how to share toys/space/etc. with his brother. Most of the time if something happens we just stop him, talk to him directly about the behavior, have him apologize, and move on - but if things get out of hand, or are more serious, we do use timeouts. We’ll also sometimes take away things (mostly television time, dessert privileges, or occasionally other toys) for specific situations. Those latter two options are pretty infrequent. More often than not we can preempt the behavior issues before they escalate - so if he’s just kind of worked up/too wild/grouchy/cranky/etc. we’ll just ask him to go to his room and play quietly and he’ll do that and be back in good shape in 15-20 minutes. More than anything else, we try and focus on talking through things that come up and reinforcing good behaviors.

I’m no expert at any of this, and there are definitely days where we lose our patience with him, but with kids I think the key things are to set clear expectations, help them develop good self-management techniques, and always talk, talk, talk about things with them to find out what they’re feeling, reinforce positive behaviors, and communicate why certain rules/expectations are in place.

What else has worked for other parents?

                                                                QUEST: GIVEN.
                                                              PEN: UNCAPPED.
                                                            HELL: UNLEASHED.
                              I AM FORCIBLY REMOVED FROM MY COMFORT ZONE.

      His name is PERCY JACKSON and he did NOT SIGN UP FOR THIS. Except for the part where he did. TWICE. If he never sees another prophecy in his LIFE he will be A-OKAY, he’s ready for a NAP, he’s ready to HUG HIS MOM and CATCH UP ON HIS SURFING, he’s ready to grace your dashboard with SHITPOSTS about GODS. 

      If ANY OF THIS sounds like something you’d enjoy, please LIKE or REBLOG this post to let a frazzled demigod know YOU LOVE HIM!

Erotic Gropefest - snowbaz drabble

Hey guys, I know I said I would write the second half of It’s Been A While, but due to personal shit, I couldn’t. I didn’t want to lose my feda streak, so have a Drabble that I quickly wrote up for today.
Warning: I have never written anything like this before, so it’s probably bad lol
[ @snowbaz-feda ]
Word Count: 144

Dating Simon Snow has been exactly the erotic gropefest that I had always imagined.
Every time we’re alone, his hands are expertly tugging at my hair or making their way down my sides.
Our lips only separate when we need more air, his expert kisses making my entire body melt underneath him.
It’s quite surprising, really. While he’s extremely nervous and shy out in public, he definitely makes up for it in the bedroom. He’s always showing a dominance that I never would have imagined before.
He has this possessive side that no one has ever seen except for me- he swears that he never did anything like this with Wellbelove.
It only takes one smirk on his perfect face before I melt completely, allowing him to do whatever he pleases.
I love him, he loves me.
And it’s even better than I imagined.


Fandom: Marvel MCU

Pairing: Loki Laufeyson x Asgardian reader

Warnings: Injury

Summary: You and Loki are fools not because you love each other but because you don’t see it. 

Originally posted by shhhh-no-ones-home

Originally posted by naughty-strawberry

Usually you would bow when you entered the room in the presence of a royal, but not this time. This time you were furious. Loki looked up and immediately, fear flooded onto his face, knowing he was in trouble with you. He smiled sheepishly at you and no matter how adorable he was, you were not fucking around.

“My queen…”

“Jotunheim? Really??” You demanded before he had the chance to finish his sentence. You were so damn mad at him right now. His stupidity and recklessness could have gotten himself killed.

Since you were born, you had been betrothed to Thor of Asgard, in order to unite the realms. When you were 12, your world went to war with Vanaheim. And so your family brought you to Asgard to keep you safe thus resulting in you being raised along side Loki and Thor. Overtime, the pair became friends with sif and the warriors three who seemed not to like you very much. It wasn’t a big deal anyway of course because they were always a bit too rowdy for you. Of all of them, it was Loki who you’d end up growing close too. He was much tamer than the others, very intelligent and had always been handsome. Everyone else saw you as a stuck up princess, which makes sense because you were raised a princess, and not a warrior like sif. Everyone seemed to have a prejudice against you. Everyone except Loki. He was also seen sometimes as an outsider. You found comfort in each other and you found yourself falling in love with the trickster.

“I was just trying to help Thor.” He tried to reason, giving you a small smile and those eyes he knew you couldn’t stay mad at.

“Helping Thor would have been stopping him, not provoking him and getting yourself injured.” You stated, trying to keep your composure.

“I tried to stop him. I did not provoke him and I am not injured.” He argued, flinching as he stood. You raised your eyebrow at him. He never did like healers. He sighed in defeat and peeled off his layers, until his toned torso was bare and stained with his blood. He knew the drill, ever since you were younger when Thor would coerce him into trouble you would patch him up at the end of the day, then Thor of course after making sure Loki was okay. But of course when you were younger you didn’t have the desire to run your hands along every inch of his body. You re- entered the room with a wet cloth and a herb mixture to place on his wounds.

“You should have let him go by himself.” You say, gently cleaning his wound with the cloth. “Let him get himself hurt, not you.”

“Father would never forgive me if I let your husband do as he wishes.” He says, with a bitter chuckle. You press the cloth into his side slightly harsher than necessary, always hating when Loki would refer to his brother as your husband. “Have you been in to see him yet?” He asks even though it sounds more like a command, and deep down he really wanted you to stay.

“Don’t tell me what to do.” You joke, looking up at him and smirking. He smiled warmly, that was one of the things he loved about you. No matter the person, you never let anyone look down or up at you, royals or peasants, you wanted everyone to treat you as an equal.

He wasn’t sure weather it was the way the light hit your face at this angle or the way your face contorted in concentration. He grabbed your wrists, causing the bandages fall to the ground. You looked up at him questioningly, and your breath hitched in your throat when you realized how close the two of you were. He felt guilty for his actions and more so for his feelings, you belonged to Thor and no matter how much you argued that you were your own person and you didn’t belong to anyone, fact was that you he could never be with you. And the thought of Thor being with you pissed him off more than the thought of Thor ruling Asgard. Just as you thought the two of you were about to kiss, his grip on your wrists tightened causing you to wince.

“Loki.” You squeaked. “You’re hurting me.” He drops your wrists and turns, walking away from you.

“You should tend to Thor.” He states, trying to convince him that this was better. 

“Loki..” You are unsure about what you did to anger him. Surely he wouldn’t become cold so quickly for no reason.

“Go!” He shouts, clearing his throat as soon as he feels his voice begin to break. “I wish to be alone, woman.” He states. You step back in shock. He knew how much you hated when someone disrespected a woman and so he never did, except now. You were so angry, you had gone speechless. He knew what he had done and he hated himself for it, so much more when you slammed the door closed (which wasn’t easy in the palace). It was easier this way, if you hated him then maybe he could find a way to love you less, even though that wasn’t possible. And the further you went from him, the stronger his urge to pull you close and cuddle you until you fell asleep. 


You were kicking yourself the entire way to Thor’s chambers. How could you be so stupid to think that he might be even slightly interested in you, but to kiss you? You were dangerously in love with him and now it was leading to delusions. You shook the thoughts from your head as you entered Thor’s room. Everyone looked up as you as you entered.

“Lady (Y/N).” Thor greeted happily, standing and walking over to you. You nodded at him and as he lead you to the balcony, and you took note of Volstagg’s arm.

“You friend is injured?” You asked although said as a statement. The two of you look back at his friends who then tried to pretend like they weren’t listening to your conversation.

Our friend was touched by one of the frost giants.” He stated, shrugging knowing his friend was fine although deep down he was quite worried.

“I assume the allfather gave you an earful about your insubordination.” You say turning and walking back towards his friends, taking Thor’s patch up kit to tend to Volstagg’s wound.

“Something like that.” He states, rolling his eyes at the memory of his father chewing him up and all but spitting him out not more than twenty minutes ago.

“You are a fool.” You state, carefully placing some medicine on Volstagg’s arm. “If you are to be king, you cannot keep putting your people in danger.”

“And by people do you mean Loki?” He asks and you stiffen.

“Loki is a jerk.” You state, tightening your grip on Volstagg, causing him to flinch.

“My brother has upset you?” Thor frowns, sensing your sadness. “Tell me what he has done? I shall make him pay!” He demands and you, as well as the others, roll your eyes at his usual antics.

“He has done nothing.” You say, standing. “You may be a fool Odinson but I am the biggest fool of all.” You state sadly, walking to the door.

“Because you love him?” He asks. “You are not a fool for loving my brother but you are a fool for not seeing how much he loves you." You chuckle dryly, waving him off but thanking him for being sweet and trying to make you feel better.

"He’s right you know.” Sif steps in. “It’s obvious to everyone.” She says and you raise your eyebrows.

“They’re right.” Fandral adds. “He calls you his queen for Odins sake!” Loki has always called you his queen. You secretly loved it of course as it was a term of endearment (something he would often be scolded for,)

“And every time someone mentions your engagement to Thor, Loki goes mad.” Hogun points out.

“Yes, not to mention when Thor interacts with you.” Sif agrees.

You’re all traitors.” Loki’s sharp voice could be heard from behind you. He came just in time to hear Sif tell you his deepest secrets. You take Loki’s arm and drag him into the hall.

“Is what they say true?” You demand.

“I’m going to kill them all.” He swears.

“To hel with them!” You say frustrate. “Is it true?” You ask, needing to hear him say it. You take a step forward and gently place a hand on his cheek, “do you love me?”

“Yes-” And that’s all you needed. You slide your hand from his cheek to his neck and bring his lips down to yours, satisfying a kiss you have wanted for years.

TalesFromYourServer: Customer accused me of stealing money from him while cashing him out, even though he never handed me any money.

Last year I worked as a server for a few months at a diner-esque restaurant. I live in a smaller town, so most of the customers were regulars who we saw most every other day, if not every day.

I took a table for one of these regulars one afternoon, and servicing them passed without incident. I was polite and courteous, and they (an old man and his wife who would come in practically twice a day) were the same…until it came time to cash them out.

Since I worked swing shift, we didn’t have a host, so it was up to the servers (or the manager, if they were at the front) to keep an eye on the register/cash customers out if we had a free moment. So I’m cleaning their table and notice they’re waiting at the front, so I stop and go to cash them out.

Here’s where the fun begins. Their bill was around $21. The man went to give me his credit card, before realizing he forgot to give me his senior discount card. He put his credit card back and gave me his discount card. I swiped it and it brought his total down to around $19 and some change. He pulled out exact coins from his wallet and handed them to me, but he still owed me the $19. I stared at him, confused, and waited for him to hand me a bill or a card, but he just stared right back and then asked what I was waiting for.

Slowly, I started, “Sir…you still owe $19. You only gave me (however much the remainder change was),” and then I held the coins out to show him. He gave me an odd look and replied, “Yeah, I gave you a $20 bill and that’s the change for the remainder so I can get even change.”

He never handed me a $20, and I told him so. That seemed to set him off because he suddenly got very angry and raised his voice, “Yes, I DID hand you a $20, and now you owe me the change! Check your register, it’s in there! You’re just trying to steal my money!”……I hadn’t even OPENED the register at all because I COULDN’T due to not having any money to PUT INTO the register for it to calculate change, and therefore open. I tried calmly explaining that to him but he wasn’t having any of it, he just continued causing a scene and asking me “how stupid” I thought he was that I could steal money right out from under his nose in public like this.

By this point I was completely dumfounded, just standing at the register holding the few leftover cents he gave me at the start so that he could get exact change back from the $20. Except he never gave me the $20, but insisted he did and that it was in the register, which was impossible because I had never opened the register at any point during this interaction.

His wife (who was quiet and seemingly as embarrassed as I was over the negative attention being brought to us), then spoke up, “Honey, perhaps you thought you gave her the $20 because you moved it in your wallet while trying to find your discount card?” Which seemed totally plausible to me, and could be the only reason why he thought he gave me a $20 in the first place. He suddenly turned on her though, and began yelling at her to “Shut the hell up and stay out of his business.” That alone was what upset me most, what right did he have yelling at his wife who was just trying to be calm and help us solve the situation??!

She clammed up and shot me an apologetic look (he was still making a scene and being disruptive, insisting me “stealing” his money would be on camera and he would get me fired) and I began to say I would go grab the manager, who at this point seemed to have realized there was an issue happening and already had made his way over.

I got the heck out of dodge and let him deal with it, and went to the back room to gather myself together. I’m one of those people who can’t handle confrontation/negative attention very well, and it took my all not to burst into frustrated tears (like I said I had only worked this job for about a month/2 months before this happened, and this was my first customer service job). This whole ordeal happened in the span of maybe like 2 minutes, but it felt like an eternity.

The manager found me afterwards and got my side of the story, and said he believed me. Apparently after explaining the exact same thing I had already said (about the register not having been opened) the customer handed over the $20 and left in a huff, declaring he would never come back again. OF COURSE he would be back the very next day though, because he was a regular and where else in this small town was he going to go, but I absolutely refused to take his table whenever he came in, and when no one was looking I shot him dirty glares at the back of his head.

I guess the silver lining of it all was a lot of the customers who saw the confrontation apologized to me and said they knew I wasn’t lying or trying to take the guy’s money, and felt sorry for me that the customer attacked me so harshly. They even left me rather generous tips, and one guy who wasn’t even one of my tables came up to me and slipped me a $20 and said I didn’t deserve that kind of treatment.

It’s just so off-putting seeing regulars who have always been kind, suddenly turn on a whim and viciously attack you over a misunderstanding.

tl;dr: customer thought he gave me $20 to pay for his meal, but he never did. Insisted I was trying to swindle money out of him and caused a huge scene.

By: chisaki-

Ride of My Life

summary: 'we sat next to each other on a roller coaster and ended up accidentally ditching our friends oops’ au

word count: 1.7k

genre: fluff

warnings: swearing. also roller coasters??

a/n: im a slut for au’s so. here. also, feedback is always appreciated!!

Keep reading

Maid - Joker x Reader imagine part 5 (ok whats happening ive gotten so far)

a/n: HIIIII *nervously sweats and smiles* i cant believe im writing another part with 600 followers, this is insane! i love you all so much. so this part is like… idk they talk and such. i just got this idea. btw, it’s immediately after the last part, immediately, okay? and oh, the joker has two bathrooms - one with a bath and the other has been mentioned before. oh the picture isnt mine - its not the best joker edit cause he has eyebrows here and his eyes arent dark but i will forgive the person :D

characters: why do i bother but JOKER and READER

warnings: nudity, smut once in a while, bathing together (idk is that a warning? :D)

J stood up from the bed, looking at me. The emotions in his eyes were changing. It looked like he was trying to resist something. With a growl, he placed his hands on my sides and lifted me off the bed, placing me on my feet. He reached out his hand and I looked at it. I was still a bit afraid of him, he could kill me too. Any moment. J then took my hand in his, not caring about the way I looked at it. He never took my hand, either home or in public, and it felt weird, different. He dragged me to the door of his bigger bathroom and faced me.

“Stay here.” J said, pointing his finger at me. I nodded. He opened the door and went into the room. I sighed. Couldn’t I just go to sleep? I was so tired… How wasn’t he? All day out, business, sex, and he could still ran around the world. How is that possible? 

What was he doing in the bathroom? He never did anything by himself except killing people. 

J returned shortly after I started wondering about his actions and he pulled me into the room, closing the door after. He had turned on the lights, and I heard the water running in the bath. There were towels on the floor next to it. He had prepared a bath for me? For us?

I looked at him, he seemed calm. He walked me to the bath - it was in the size to fit four people next to each other on the small side, but ten people next to each other on the longer side. He again placed his hands on my sides and placed me into the bath full of warm water. 

J got in himself and laid down, so only his shoulders and head were out of the water. His hand stretched out for me and I hesitantly gave him my hand. J pulled me down, so I was laying on him and moved us up in a sitting position. I was sitting between his legs, mine around his waist, my back against the side of the bath. We were in such position that there was no way he didn’t like to show that he was in charge. Joker turned off the water and turned back around to me. His one hand on my cheek, and the other one on the back of my thigh, J looked me deep in the eyes.

“I feel like…” he looked up, in thought, then looked back at me. “There is something bothering you, angel.” He stated. “You haven’t spoken much, you act a little different. Can you tell me what’s going on?”

I took in a deep breath and exhaled, looking down, avoiding his gaze. I have to tell him, even if he’ll think I’m vulnerable and weak. If he wants to know, he will.

“I-I’m afraid..” I finally said.

“Afraid?” His non-existent eyebrows furrowed above his eyes and he lifts my chin up to him. “Of what?”

“I-I, it’s-”

“Is it my men? I can-”

“No, it’s not them.”

“Who is it then? Have you got somebody outside our home you’re afraid of? Your family? Friends?”

“No, J, it’s….” I sighed out a shaky breath. 

“Go on, tell me what you’re afraid of.”

“I’m.. afraid of you.” I said, looking him in the eyes.

“Me?” His face was a mix of several emotions. He drew back just a little bit. “Why? Did I…” his face hit the sight of realisation, “Oh..” J was looking down while a few tears escaped my eyes. “Why does me killing a man scare you?”

“Why? Why? Maybe because that’s never happened to me.” I gained courage, I spoke, looking him in the eyes. “I have never seen you or anybody else kill someone. You were nice-ish to him and then you just shot him! Makes me think that you could kill me any moment.”

“If I wanted to kill you, I would have done it long ago and you know that, doll.” His face was close to mine again, his hands on both sides of my neck on the bath’s edge. “But.. since you’re loyal and I enjoy your company, I’m not going to kill you. I like you too much to kill you.”

“That doesn’t change the fact that I’m scared of you! You terrified me tonight. You shot a man in the head and didn’t change a shade. How can a person do that?…”

“I don’t know if you’ve noticed, sweets, but… I’m not a regular person. Am I even a person? Who knows?” J chuckled. “But you don’t have to be afraid of me. Or anything else. I will protect you at all costs, my dear angel.” His hand stroked my cheek, placing his thumb in between my lips. “Does that ease your mind at any way?” He asked and I nodded. 

J moved his lips down to mine and kissed them roughly as his hand slid down my body and stopped at my heat, placing his hand over it. I inhaled a sharp breath and kissed him back, reaching my arms around his neck, pulling him deeper into me. As his tongue entered my mouth, his fingers teased my entrance, making me whimper into his mouth. J pulled back suddenly.

“Do you want to touch me, baby doll?”

“What?” His words took me by surprise. 

“I said, do you want to touch me?” He repeated. “Can you touch me, doll? You’ve never touched me.” He spoke in my ear, stopping the actions of his fingers.

“Well, I-I..” I stuttered. “I don’t have much experience.” I admitted.

“Oh, I can teach you, baby.” He smirked. “Do you want me to?”

“Y-yes,” I replied, “If you do.”

“I very much do.” He said, laughing quietly. “Give me your hand.” J said, reaching out his other hand for mine. I put my hand in his and he guided it down between us(a/n: jesus h christ i swear to you i havE NEVER WRITTEN SOMETHING LIKE THIS IN MY LIFE SO IF ITS HORRIBLE IM SORRY IM JUST NOT A FAN OF …. DOING THIS TO A MAN). My breaths were shaky, I had never touched a male in that way before, I was nervous. He placed my hand on his member and started slowly moving it up and down. “Slowly, slowly…” he said and then let go of my hand, leaving it there. I looked at him. “Go on.” J urged and I nodded. Wrapping my fingers around, my hand slowly, gently moved up and down his length. J closed his eyes at the feeling and his hand worked on my intimate area, fingers pressing down, drawing circles. I moaned, my hand wrapping around his cock (a/n: god i hate this word) tighter and J groaned out.

“Oh, J…” I moaned out in a high-pitched voice when he entered me with his fingers. I started moving my hand faster up and down at the pleasure J was giving me.

“Yes, baby girl, just like that…” He sighed into my ear, curling his fingers and I was a moaning mess before him. Our actions continued for a while until we were both moaning and groaning each other’s names, close to our peak. I moved my hand up one last time before I felt him cum in my hand (a/n: ok so maybe this is against some erotic physics bc i’ve heard that a male can only cum once, while women can cum multiple times in a row but you know what? this is an imagine, this is not supposed to be reality so idgaf :)))) ). J’s fingers continued to work on me, he pressed his thumb on my clit and I moaned loudly.

“Cum, baby, come for me..” him whispering into my ear was what it took for me to reach my orgasm. Moans and J’s name left my mouth multiple times and I finally came over my high. I sighed, J taking his fingers out and chuckling. I was so tired, I could fall asleep at any moment. 

“That was wonderful, baby,” Joker spoke, smiling. “You did great.” He complimented, making me smile tiredly at him. He leaned down to my level - at the lack of energy I had, I was leaned back into the bath - and kissed my lips with a growl. 

“That was your first time touching a man, wasn’t it?” He asked and I nodded for a reply. “Your hands seemed so innocent…. As you do. No matter how many times I’ve fucked you and done other dirty things to you, you always look innocent and pure.” J spoke, making me laugh a little. J smiled at me laughing, it was a genuine smile. “Tell me… when I fucked you for the first time, was it… your first time?”

“Well…” I trailed off, sitting up straight so I was in his level, “my first time was with an asshole boyfriend from high school, but he never went all the way in… let’s just say, he didn’t reach my virginity wall so I don’t think it counted. God, that guy was a jerk…”

“Was he really? You know I could-”

“J, it’s alright, he wasn’t abusive or anything, don’t worry.” I stopped him. “He was just really annoying.”

“Well, then…. Do you regret having me take your first time?”

“No, I don’t.” I almost whispered, shaking my head with a smile.

“Flattering.” Joker purrs in my ear, his hands on my sides.

“J, I want to ask you something.”

“Anything, my doll.” He said, placing a kiss on my cheekbone. 

“Who’s Harley? The man mentioned her.”

“And why would anything he said be true? He didn’t do his part of the deal, so why should you take what he said to your head?”

“I saw the way your face changed when he mentioned her name. Tell me about her, I want to know.” I said.

“I’ll tell you, fine. Harley was a… beloved toy of mine for some time. Unfortunately for her, she left me a while ago. Even though she’s strong and knew how to fight, she couldn’t resist me after all. So I just… got rid of her one day.”

“Oh…” I replied. “Do you miss her?”

“No, I don’t. Never did.”

“Did you love her?”

“I don’t like that word, baby doll, never use it again in that context.” He growled. “But I didn’t. I told her I did, but I just used her for business.” As he spoke, i furrowed my brows, listening. “She was strong, naive and in love. Annoying, also. She realised it only after a long time and left.” He finished and there was silence for a while.

“You would… never do that to me, right, J?” I asked, my arms around my legs, knees resting against my bare chest. 

“Of course, not, doll.” J answered, resting his chin on one of my knees. “You’re different than her, better than her. More beautiful, smarter.”

“And how do I know you’re not lying to me now like you lied to Harley?”

“I told you that I would never treat you like her.” He sternly spoke. “But I also know that you’re smarter than her, you know when people are lying and when they’re telling the truth. So,” he traced his finger up my leg, “can you tell if I’m lying when I tell you that I will take care of you, keep you safe, never treat you like Harley… That you’re better, different, beautiful, smarter, attracting… Am I lying to you?” 

I decided to change things up a bit and smirked. I put my hands flat up against his chest and pushed him to the other side of the bath. Closer to the large window, where the moonlight was shining down. J was sat up against the bath’s side and I put my legs around his waist once again, my hand on his cheek.

“You’re not lying to me, I can see that.” I replied. “But have you ever lied to me?”

“I don’t think so, my dear angel.” He said, and rose up a little bit so he was even slightly above me. He hated to be the little one. “Have you ever lied to me?”

“No, J, I haven’t. And I promise I never will.” I said and kissed him on the lips. He felt different now. It felt like he was… in my power. What? Did I really have the Joker… weak? For me… 

He kissed back, trying to regain his power, but I wouldn’t let him. I wanted to take the chance of controlling him. I pushed him down and kissed him again, harder, my hand latching into his hair. I gripped his glowing green hair, tugging tightly on the roots and J let out a groan of pleasure, I think.

“Do you like that now?” I whispered with a smirk. J must’ve caught up with what I was trying to do and pushed me away slightly. He laughed and sat up, taking my wrists in his hands. 

“Nobody can be above me. Nobody can out-power me.” He snarled. “Now, you better apologise to Daddy before he changes his mind about being in a good mood.” He warned. Well, I have learned my lesson to never try that again.

“I’m sorry, Daddy. I will never do that again.” I spoke in a more innocent tone that I wanted to. 

“Good.” He said. “Never try it again or Daddy will be very, very angry.” He warned and I nodded. “What do you want to do now, angel face?” His mood immediately changed. “Do you want to continue bathing or do you want to play a little…?” Joker smirked. Was he so turned on all the time? Always in the mood…

“I don’t know..” I trailed off. “What do you want to do?”

“I think Daddy wants to play some more. Would my doll mind?”

“I think your doll would very much enjoy that.” I smiled at him. 

“Why don’t you turn Daddy on a bit more? Could you do that, baby?”

“I could.” I smirked and moved a bit lower on him, right above his member. I moved around it, grinding down on J with my eyes closed. I got myself turned on, moving around his cock to get him hard. My mouth hang open as moans left my mouth, my breasts lowering onto J’s neck every time I went down.

“Alright, doll, that’s enough.” J spoke, holding my hips down to stop my movements. He was looking right into my eyes when he lowered me onto his length, making me moan out. J actually loved it when I was on top of him, he never told me, but he didn’t need to - I could see it, feel it even. He was always watching me intently from below, getting turned on more and more by the sight before him.

By my hips, he guided me up and then down again. He was going painfully slow, but he liked to tease me. I moaned out, eyes closing at the wonderful feeling and mouth agape caused by the moans. 

“P-please go faster, Daddy…” I begged and he moaned out himself. As asked, he picked up his pace to a deviously fast one, pounding in and out of me like there was no tomorrow. I was screaming, moaning, yelping, making very sound possible come out of my mouth. 

J placed one hand on my back and lowered my body down on his, kissing between my breasts. It drove me completely mad. I brought my nails down his chest to get relief somehow, scratching the pale white skin. There would be marks. His grip on my hips tightened so much it was painful, he was controlling my body in every way.

“O-oh, my God…” I moaned out. J whispered encouragements into my ear and I came for the third time tonight, along with him (a/n: damn joker trash back at it again with breaking the erotic physics rules). I fell on top of him once he had pulled out of me and breathed loudly, heavily. 

“Are you tired, baby girl?” J asked. I nodded, unable to speak. “I’ve tired you out, my doll. Rest now, I’ll take care of you.” He said and I rested my head against his chest. I traced over his many tattoos and got an idea.

“Daddy?” I asked with my last energy.


“Can I get a tattoo?”

“Of course, sweets.” I heard him say right before I drifted off into sleep.


perelka-l  asked:

I AM SO OBVIOUS lichenship with flare flavor? If that don't work then MikuAra + hair maybe?

Of course, Daigo-san is far from the only person to meet the criteria of beauty and riches, it’s not like Team Flare’s objective would mean a world for only the two of them — but still, a lot less people would mean less distractions, a higher chance to catch the Champion’s attention, a possibility, perhaps, for Shouta to be at all remarkable.

Alan has seen plenty of pretty people in his life, sure, and the beautiful women and handsome men that line the windows of Miare City’s restaurants, but the moment the Hoenn Champion introduces him to Mikuri-san, Alan feels like he only just understood the concept of attractiveness for the first time, on a groundbreaking (ground-breaking-under-his-feet) fundamental level; and then in the evening they all go down to the beach and Mikuri-san takes off his hat and his hair comes tumbling down in cascades, waves and waves of silk curling in the marine breeze, and off comes the hairtie, and Alan’s train of thoughts derails and falls to complete silence except for: oh.