except from flight

I’m pretty sure Cutthroat Kitchen takes place in Alton’s basement. Think about it. No one ever enters except from down a flight of stairs and no one ever leaves the contest area except from a little hallway to the side. So he’s got one of those little houses on the hill where the basement becomes a garage and then spits the car out into the driveway. Okay so there’s reason to believe that it’s in his basement BUT WAIT THERE’S MORE.

Notice how Alton always says “My” or “My old” or any other variations of possessive when referring to the sabotages. Like “my old phone from the nineties.” He does this so much and he cares so much (and yet so little) about these things that he’s auctioning off are actually things he’s trying to get rid of somehow. So okay there’s a little bit more to me believing that Cutthroat Kitchen is really in Alton’s basement.

And notice all of the leftover bullshit they are forced to use in the show? He probably just like cooked stuff upstairs and it’s HIS ACTUAL FUCKING LEFTOVERS from the night before.

BUT WAIT

THERE’S MORE

All of the judges are greeted by Alton like they’re a surprise, like he doesn’t actually know which one is going to show up. If it were an actual show, he would know who it was before they showed up, but this is more like he just sent out a group text to be like “hey whoever wants to judge tonight just show up lol.”

So basically I think Alton Brown has this huge basement with a camera crew and grips and each week he selects chefs to come into his basement and fucking slash each other’s throats over <$25,000, (so he will only ever spend a maximum of $25,000 each week on this) and he invites his celebrity chef friends over every week to shit on these poor chef’s attempts to cook with golf clubs and his leftovers and also sell off his old stuff because he is a sick sadistic fuck.