example of a bad posture

anonymous asked:

I mainly did this to make my animatics more interesting, but when a squip breaks, the user of the squip will very quickly (and painfully) go back to having the physique they had before the squip. For example, if one had bad posture before they got squipped, the bones in their back would very quickly rearrange to go back to their original position.

Speaking with Actions

This is a tip more for editing than writing, although if you keep it in mind while you write, I think it can be quite helpful. When you want to say something in the narrative, consider if there might be a way to say it with a character action.

For example, where the narrative might say:

Todd had never felt so ruthlessly devastated.

You might instead write:

Todd dropped down at his desk and sank his head into his hands. He sucked a slow breath through closed teeth.

Either way, Todd is having a bad day at the office. But in the second example, we can actually hear him having that bad day, we get his posture and his expression rolled up in those few lines. Instead of being a concept of a person, floating around somewhere in the imagined space of the office, now he’s at the desk, breathing hard, clearly reeling.

This is sort of a way to break down the timeless but opaque advice: show don’t tell. All writing is telling, it’s made up of words. Trying to peer over a page and spot where all the telling is is very hard. But looking at where you are describing feelings–and instead describing what those feelings manifest as–can be a good step towards making sure that your writing is “showing.”

Target Practice

[NSFW below the cut]

“You really didn’t have to come down here with me.”

Bucky meticulously lines up the rows of ammo while Steve pushes his earmuff to one side in order to listen. “I have nothing better to do,” Bucky says petulantly. “Until I’m on active duty, they expect me to sit on my hands.”

Steve checks his gun while Bucky complains, removing the magazine and opening the cylinder to look in the gun chamber. Content with what he sees, he goes about loading the weapon with Bucky’s proffered ammunition. “There’s plenty you could do around the tower,” Steve says easily.

“I would rather watch you shoot.”

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