exact ratio

What body dysmorphia is like.

-my face morphs in front of my eyes when i look in the mirror sometimes. my eyes change position and float away from each other. my nose balloons out then goes back to normal occasionally. my lips shrink then enlarge to an bad proportion. i don’t look REAL, i don’t know what i look like. my face looks like a basketball then its too thin. my cheeks are too big and then too small, my chin is too fucking big and i want to cut it off. my eyes are too small, my eyelashes are too short, my eyelids are huge. -everyone talks about you. everyone. everyone looks at you and thinks you’re ugly, if they compliment you they’re probably lying.
-people on tv talk about u and how ugly u are. even people u don’t know are thinking about how ugly u are.
-u spend hours and hours thinking about how you can fix your appearance.
-you hate yourself for being so vain.
-you compare yourself to every single person you see. you wish you were anyone else but you.
-you measure your face to make sure it didn’t grow or shrink and it has to fit the exact ratio of 1.6 or else you need plastic surgery
-no makeup means panic attack -every bad thing that has happened in your life happened because of how you look. didn’t make the team? cuz you’re ugly. don’t have friends? you’re ugly. failed your quiz? you’re ugly.
-whenever people talk about appearances, about anyone’s appearance, this is a DIRECT ATTACK TOWARDS YOU.
-pictures/videos are HELL. but you take so many. to torture yourself. -people think you’re an absolute bitch

Alright, I’ve been working on a theory for a few months now and with season 3 rapidly approaching, the pieces seem to be falling into place.

The Mullet Theory: The closer a character is to having a mullet, the more background we receive for that character.

Yes, it sounds ridiculously stupid, but there’s finite proof behind this.

Analysis under the cut:

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The contract of Doom

As a DM, I’m used to players trying to find loopholes in rules but only once happened to me of a player who actually took the rules and enforced them to the extreme.
Long story short, the party I was DMing for, in Pathfinder, was fighting through cultists of an ancient god, racing against time to prevent a ritual that, if completed, whould have opened the doors of reality to all the god’s minions. While they were cleaning up another room, they found a Pit Fiend, chained to the floor and bound by magic. Curious, the talk to him and he explains that the cultists had captured him with powerfull magic and were planning to sacrifice him to power the ritual. He then makes an offer to the group: if they free him, he will grant them a free wish.
Now, the group knows how much I like to twist Wish, expecially when the caster is an evil outsider, known to turn badly formulated desires into a recipe for regret. So I say to the group that the session ends there and they have the week to think about the offer. We are all about to leave when this players asks me a question:
“Last time I bought 50 gp of paper, how much is it?”
Not wanting to go find the exact gold-to-paper ratio, I answer him that paper is not exactly cheap, so he’ll have something like 25 sheets of paper with him.
“Not much, but I think it will suffice” he answers.
By that I should have knew something bad was going to happen.

Next session cames, and we start from where we left. Everybody is proposing their ideas, but no one passes for the party finds everytime a loophole or something that could be used against us.
It’s paper-player turn, and I ask him what his proposal is. He just smiles to me and then takes out from his pack a stack of 25 paper sheets, each and every completly written in fine print. Seeing my confusion he just says:
“It’s for the wish. A contract. Isn’t that how devils work?”
He had actually written twenty five damned pages in strict burocratic language, complete with subparagraphs and notes.
Now, Wish says that, for particular complicated wishes, you can simply negate the wish, but I wanted to award his interpretation and solving the problem while staying in character (he had very high ranks in both Linguistic and Knoweledge (planes)), so I said that the wish had been granted and he got a map of the cultist’s base.

Yes, he had written a 25-pages contract to request a map.

Commission for @quiddid, who asked for Heith. I had way too much fun sending these two to a carnival <3. I hope you enjoy, and thank you for the support!

Keith tried his best not to be awkward.

He’d been awkward when Hunk had asked him out, he’d been awkward when Hunk picked him up in his 2001 dull gold Toyota Corolla, forgetting to put his seatbelt on, sitting quietly in the passenger seat. Hunk had reminded him.

Stupid, who forgets their seatbelt?

He’d made some joke about being too used to his bike, and that there wasn’t a seatbelt on it. Hunk had indulged him with a laugh and Keith tried his best not to blush. The date had just begun and he was already blushing. They’d parked and gotten in line with only small talk from Hunk and a lot of silence from Keith

He couldn’t figure out what to do with his hands. Did they go in his pockets? No, that looked uncomfortable.

I am uncomfortable.

No, but he didn’t want to look uncomfortable. If he kept shifting around, kept moving his hands to different, equally uncomfortable positions, Hunk would figure out that he’d never been on a date.

(Keep reading below the cut)

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Are Homunculus Years Like Dog Years?

OK so I was thinking…

For being over 100 years old, you would think the homunculi would be really wise, sage-like and emotionally mature. Collected and calm, like Hoenheim and Father. But for having lived for literally hundreds of years, they still largely act emotional, immature, and somewhat ridiculously. 

This makes me think that maybe homunculi age and mature differently from humans, given their philosopher’s stones and near-immortality. Perhaps they age on a longer timeline like the Asari from the Mass Effect series, if you’ve seen it: for the first few hundred years they are still in their “maiden phase” where they like to party and be wild, etc, only settling down around 500-600 yrs old, and becoming wise matriarchs even later. Or you could think of it like dog years, but longer instead of shorter. 

And if you think about it, the older homunculi DO seem more mature than the younger ones.

From oldest to youngest:

1. Pride

2. Lust

3. Greed

4. Envy

5. Sloth

6. Gluttony

7. Wrath
***Note on Wrath: Because Wrath started out as a human, remembers his upbringing, doesn’t regenerate and essentially ages and lives like a normal human, it seems possible that he could be exempt from the pattern. Maybe it’s mostly driven by the pseduo-immortality.

Sloth and lust are rather serious characters; Greed less so, but he’s clearly more emotionally mature than Envy the Jealous, and Sloth and Gluttony are so undeveloped that they seem simpler and more childlike than the others. 

SO, there seems to be a linear relationship between the ages of the homunculi and their level of psychological maturity.

So let’s look at a possible ratio. The EXACT ratio isn’t important, so long as it’s a believable approximation of their maturity in human years. For example, a pretty clean ratio is 10:1, where 10 homunculi years is about the equivalent of 1 human year. 

To illustrate, let’s take Gluttony. He’s a little over 100 years old, but let’s call him 100 to make it easy. If 10 homunculus years = 1 human year, that would make Gluttony a little over 10 years old in terms of his psychological maturity in human terms. This actually matches up pretty well with his behavior, which is very innocent, childlike, obedient, and emotional. 

That would make the others…

1. Pride (>300) = >30 yrs old

2. Lust (~250) = 25 yrs old

3. Greed (<200) = <20 yrs old

4. Envy (~175) = ~17.5 yrs old

5. Sloth (~150) = ~15 yrs old

6. Gluttony (>100) = >10 yrs old

The exact ratio may not be spot-on, and people would still mature at different rates, but on the whole, it holds up somewhat well. Gluttony is as innocent as they come, Sloth acts hilariously like a lazy teenager who doesn’t want to do anything but sleep all day, Envy is immature and self-centered, Greed is full of cockiness and over-confidence/arrogance, Lust, in what little time she gets, seems calmer than her younger siblings, and Pride by far comes off as the most serious and mature.

Riding the theory out, this ratio would give homunculi the psychological maturity of those in middle age around 400-600 years old, and they’d be “elderly” and wiser after that. Of course, this isn’t a lifespan per se, because they won’t die from old age, they would theoretically just get increasingly older and wiser!

Anyway, this brings up another question: What are the homunculi like when they are first created? Perhaps they are unintelligent, feral and purely instinctual versions of their sins. 

Another possible pattern is that the older they are, the more human their appearance. Gluttony and Sloth are both the youngest, and they both have bodies that are obviously inhuman. Maybe they are beastly when first created, and slowly come to look more human with age. 


A. Homunculi mentally age more slowly than humans, so that 10 homunculi years = 1 human year, or something close to that

B. The older homunculi are, the more they come to physically resemble humans

“April Fools” on AO3

It’s Edward’s birthday, but that doesn’t mean much to him. Oswald tries to make it special.

7k, SFW.

“Good morning, sleeping beauty,” Oswald murmurs into Ed’s ear, sitting on the bed beside him and making the mattress dip. Ed hums, blinking up at Oswald blearily. He’s generally the first to rise, but Oswald never wakes him on the days he’s not. He can make out a blurry smile on Oswald’s face and smiles in return. Oswald leans down to kiss him, and Ed bites back a protest about not having brushed his teeth yet. Clearly, Oswald is up to something.

“I brought you breakfast,” Oswald chirps, standing and handing Ed his glasses. Ed accepts them, unfolding the frames and putting them on in order to survey the selection Oswald has brought. It’s a full English breakfast: bacon, fried eggs, grilled tomatoes, toast, and sausages. He sits up, arranging himself so he’s leaning back against several pillows while Oswald sets the tray of food up over his lap. Ed tries the coffee, and he can tell before he even tastes it that it’s the exact ratio of coffee to milk to sugar that he prefers. Oswald had even spruced up the tray of food with a little vase of flowers, filled with white and purple crocuses that Ed recognizes as having recently bloomed on their lawn. There’s a small bowl of strawberries as well, large and red, probably a last minute consideration on Oswald’s part when he realized that a full English wasn’t exactly what Ed would consider to be the best selection for a balanced breakfast.

“What’s the occasion?” Ed asks, tilting his face up for another peck as Oswald hovers over him. Oswald laughs and kisses him once again before sitting on the bed.

“It’s your birthday, silly goose.” His birthday. Ed hadn’t even realized. He’d never really celebrated the day. Generally, telling people it was his birthday led to laughter and disbelief rather than well wishes. That was the curse of being born on April first, he supposes. While working for the GCPD, he had never possessed the energy required to convince person after person it was actually his birthday; it just made the whole affair even more pathetic than it already was. Better to ignore the day all together. What was the purpose of celebrating, anyways? Congratulations on making another rotation around the sun, you are now one day closer to your inevitable demise.

“Thank you,” Ed says instead. “I don’t think I’m going to be able to eat all of this by myself.”

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me attempting to comprehend exact values of trigonometric ratios😂

I got a new maths notebook today! This will probably be the last one I start before my GCSEs…

hope everyone had a great Monday! 💗


TUAFW blankets have to have an exact fluffiness to breathability ratio
They must be easily scrunched and manipulated for maximum snuggle capacity
None of that stuff crunchy nonsense
They have to be fluffy and soft but not too dense that you get overheated
And if you’re fresh out the bath or from exercise, they have to be extra absorbent cotton and NOT the fluffy stuff or everything is just wet and gross and uncomfortable
And they must always smell clean and nice

anonymous asked:

emil is the biggest stoner of all the skaters and i'm basing this almost exclusively on his facial hair

emil is the Weed Daddy. when the skaters visit him for 4/20 everyone is pretty sure they’re gonna get stoned, but they have NO IDEA just how stoned they’ll be…

first off, emil makes everyone his signature cocktail, called “swamp juice”. it’s basically weed tincture and coconut water, and it looks and tastes just like you’d expect. but everyone drinks their swamp juice just to be nice… except now they’re stoned on weed liquor.

after the swamp juice, everyone follows emil into his smoking room. it’s like a dispensary in there, with all different kinds of weed, and Emil knows the exact ratio of THC to CBD, and whether something is an indica or sativa. he asks all the skaters for their preferences, and takes a lot of pride in matching each skater to the best weed strain for them.

once everyone is all stoned and lazy, emil decides that they have to go on an ADVENTURE, maybe hiking, makybe skydiving, but he’s the kind of stoner who gets high and HYPED. he’s like, trying to get everyone to come along with him, and all his friends just sink into the pile of pillows and blankets, saying “dude chillax” and listening to gregorian chants because for some reason it’s the only music allowed in the smoking room.

finally, emil gets bored and spends the next 2 hours balancing on a yoga ball in perfect full lotus while his friends sprawl out on the floor, high and motionless.

Constructing Reality Pt.3 - Fibonacci and the Golden Spiral

If we want to understand the mystery behind reality, we have to take a look at its patterns. The language of nature gives us a rash of information on how the whole universe moves and grows. The same pattern can be noticed in blooming plants, evolving populations, crowd behavior, artistic and architectural expressions, and even in the movement of whole galaxies. Referring to the pattern that is all around us, Leonardo da Vinci spoke: “Learn how to see. Realize that everything connects to everything else.”

The human mind has a natural sense for artistic harmony, always feeling drawn to a very special kind of proportion. If we have to choose the most harmonic of the rectangles below, we intuitively choose the one based on the golden ratio Phi Φ, a mathematic term for two quantities, of which the ratio of the small part (a) to the large part (b) is the same ratio as the large part (b) to the whole (a+b). However, Phi is an infinite number, beginning with 1,618033…, which means that all visual images can only approach the golden ratio, but never fully reach it.

The golden ratio rectangle is the visual version of a specific numeric pattern. This pattern has been known for thousands of years, first mentioned as mātrāmeru in the Sanskrit treatise Chandahshastra by the indian mathematician Pingala around 400 b.c. Even though it has also been known in ancient Greece, the pattern is named after the italien mathematician Leonardo da Pisa, better known as Fibonacci. The Fibonacci sequence describes an infinite series of numbers, in which the sum of two consecutive numbers results in the proximately next number. Demonstrated and easier understood: 0, 1, 1, 2, 3, 5, 8, 13, 21, 34, 55, 89, 144… The connection between the golden ratio and the Fibonacci sequence becomes clear when we continue to construct the golden ratio rectangle, or the Fibonacci squares, into a possible infinity. But again, since Phi is an infinite number, the Fibonacci numbers can only approach but never reach it.

While the Fibonacci sequence and the Fibonacci squares seem to be abstract geometry, the next step will make us comprehend the link to nature and mother earth. The so called Golden Spiral, also known as the Fibonacci Spiral, is the consequent result of the previously created basic pattern. The Golden Spiral is the model for a huge amount of natural designs and developments that exist in our dimension. While the typical Fibonacci Spiral expands its widths in 90 degree sections, another spiral we often find in nature expands its widths in 180 degree sections. Both spirals are golden.

We can see Fibonacci in many plants on our Earth. By following the Golden Spiral, leaves are provided an optimal light saturation and blossoms a promising seed dispersal, as imposingly seen in the Sun Flower. The same double spiral can be seen in the petals of the lotus flower, which is the best example of the nearly perfect Fibonacci creation. We also see the golden 180°spiral in animals, for example in snail and nautilus shells or in the curling of animal tails. Fibonacci does not only appear as the spiral in animals, but also in connection to reproductive dynamics, for example in bees and rabbits, where every generation increases its population by 1,6.
When it comes to humans, our whole body shows golden proportions, from our face, to our limbs and hands and even where we probably don’t expect it – our DNA molecules. DNA molecules spin according to the rules of the Golden Spiral, for a cycle of the double helix measures exactly 34 angstroms in length and 21 angstroms in width. Fibonacci is not only around us, but also inside of us.

Truth is that no visual construct that can be perceived with our senses could fully reach the exact golden ratio proportion, because we create our reality based on boundaries and not on infinite ideas. Yet, the approach to rediscover our own perfect harmony is a part of all of us, when we strive for enlightenment and peace.

Cancer Woman, Leo Man

A Moon Maid and a Lion who have fallen in love face one of three possibilities, assuming they expect their love to result in a lifetime relationship.

(1) After a few years, he will arrogantly domineer her into a trembling, tearful submission to his royal whims, causing her to become even more moody than she was when they first met.
(2) After a few years, she will crush his confidence with her gentle, but persistent nagging, causing him to retreat into sad and sullen silences.
(3) After a few years, they’ll make adjustments, compromise their differences, and live happily ever after - loving and laughing and weeping and learning.

Turning the third possibility into a reality won’t be a piece of cheese cake, nor is it a task for the faint-hearted or the selfish. It requires a sensitive awareness of the care needed when you’re blending Fire and Water.

He’ll have to suffer through her perplexing moodiness, and try to perceive the root cause of her possessive reflexes. She’ll have to overlook his ego-oriented attitudes, and not dwell in self-pity on his sometimes thoughtless disregard for her feelings. He’ll have to realize that her possessiveness will disappear when he takes the time to calm her fears and strengthen her sense of emotional security. She’ll have to realize that much of his arrogance stems from an inner doubt of his abilities (which increases in exact ratio to his success, oddly) and that she’ll get nowhere with him by dampening his pride, yet can almost make him roll-over-Rover by verbally (and sincerely) appreciating his virtues and allowing him at least the choice of taking the initiative in nearly everything. But she must be careful to retain her own dignity and individuality at the same time.

If all this sounds to you like a path to sainthood, you’re right, that’s just about what it is. It takes a lot of saintly serenity, love and patience for a Crab and a Lion to gradually grow to trust their hearts with one another, for their dreams are very different. Don’t be gloomy. There are reliable astrological blueprints for building this relationship into a Forever design, with a strong foundation of happiness, lit brightly by her Lunar lamps and Solar heated by him.

Leo likes to win all the battles. Cancer prefers to win the war. 

The Cancerian girl is powerfully influenced by the combination of her feminine Sun Sign and its also feminine ruler, the moody Moon. Therefore, she personifies the Mystery of Woman, all the complex yearnings and inexplicable behavior of Eve herself. The Leo man is powerfully influenced by the combination of his masculine Sun Sign and its also masculine ruler, the Sun. Therefore, he personifies the conquering charisma of Man, all the wisdom and strength, contrariness and proud spirit of Adam himself. You can see why she’s able to tempt him in the beginning, why he’s so easily seduced by her home-baked pies. Yet, she’s Cardinal, and this makes her a rather bossy Eve. He’s Fixed, and this makes him a stubborn Adam. They’ll be more at ease emotionally with one another if she doesn’t try to compete with his stronger personality, but allows it to bring out all her tender and tranquil qualities. It’s natural for the Moon (Cancer) to absorb the brilliant Solar rays of the Sun (Leo) and reflect them back in the form of the softer, more gentle illumination of moonlight. Imitating Mother Nature never leads human nature astray, as long as these two don’t overdo their Solar-Lunar roles, and slip into the trap of overemphasizing them. Too many Cancer-Leo couples drift into this sort of danger unaware. There’s nothing “natural” about an association with sadist-masochist overtones. But these are the extreme cases. The Cancerian woman and Leo man should strive to temper each other’s divergent personalities through a subtle but constant interchange of themselves, and avoid excessive domination on his part, as well as excessive docility on her part. For this sort of balancing act, it will be substantially helpful if the Moon or Ascendent of one or both of them adds a Gemini or Libra influence.

The chemical attraction a girl Crab and a Lion feel when they first fall in love may later ebb and flow. Their physical magnetism is powerful, but it requires a delicate blending of their natures. If he’s impulsive, demanding and careless in his lovemaking, and she’s too sensitive, passive and elusive in hers - his mind may wander, and her emotions will flee into strange shadows. When physical closeness between them is good, it’s very good, for she’s beautifully receptive, and he’s wonderfully warm and affectionate. Because there’s a gentleness and softness in her sexual attitude that complements his intensity, the passion exchanged between them can be very deep. But she can wound him with her moodiness when she’s worried, which he mistakenly judges as a lack of response - and he can hurt her with his aloofness when he’s troubled, which she mistakenly interprets as indifference. Tears are often part of their togetherness, but tears can be healing, and with Cancer and Leo they can turn into tears of joy those times when he soothes away her nightmares with the comfort of his familiar nearness. Her dreams are always lovelier when she falls asleep with his arms around her, because it means her heart is safe again for a little while from her subconsciously remembered childhood fear of loneliness. This is when he knows how much he’s needed, and then he cries… but she’s not awake, so she doesn’t know, and he’ll never tell her. She has many secrets, but he has only one. His vulnerability.

The Lion who is enchanted on a summer night by a girl Crab is always surprised when he knows her better. She seemed to be such a helpless creature, seeking his strength as soft as a baby rabbit, and as timid - wide-eyed, needing guidance. He felt a tug of tenderness. Later he learned she’s more than feminine - she’s womanly. Feminine is enticing, but womanly is deeper. She’s cozy and maternal, tucking him under her lavender-scented blankets of security and so perceptive she guesses his thoughts and feelings without his having spoken a word. Much later, he’ll discover something else, misty, hard to define. It disturbs him, because just when he’s sure he’s in control of the relationship, she eludes him, makes him feel he’s not really the lord and master of this lady after all. Not in the total way he once believed he was. She never defies him, but he suspects she may have a secret place in her mind she escapes to when he’s hurt her, when they’ve quarreled. He’d like to follow her there to tell her he’s sorry, but he doesn’t know the way. And so he must wait for her to return, in her own time - from her secret place. She can’t be coaxed, and she can’t be hurried. He’s always glad when she returns and is real again, back to being her normal funny, bright and alert self humming as she bakes his apple pie, stirring him with the fragrance of her hair as she kisses his cheek. It’s time to impulsively suggest a trip. Her wanderlust is awakened, she says, “Let’s”! And he confidently takes charge of the travel plans. Shall they leave as soon as tomorrow morning? Why not? Traveling somewhere together is like a fresh wind blowing through the love between this man and woman. She has him all alone then, to herself, the way she likes him - and he can instruct her in all sorts of new lessons. No matter where they go, he’ll be an expert on the people, the language, the stores and the surrounding geography. She listens, his gentle Moon Maiden… fascinated. And as she listens, she finds herself remembering why she fell in love with him. It was because she could sit curled up beside him forever, just listening to him talk. He knew so much about so many things, and he made them all sound exciting. He had such confidence, he was so sure of himself, the way she’d always longed to be, and couldn’t. But… something about his sureness bothered her, and for a long while, she didn’t know what it was. Then one day it came to her. “If he’s so confident,” she wondered, “and knows so much, and is so sure he’s always right… why does he need my constant approval?” Suddenly, she knew. “He’s only pretending to be brave and strong and wise. Except when he knows that I believe it. Then he believes it too.” The knowing gave her a sharp loving-pain. And she wept the same tears wept by Eve herself when she first learned Woman’s deepest secret from Eden’s Tree of Wisdom.

~ Linda Goodman’s ‘Love Signs’.

Human (Vampire!Namjoon)

Plot: Vampire!Namjoon asking to turn you into a vampire

Word Count: 665

A/N: so a while ago, someone requested this and I thought it sounded fun, if you want more of a backstory for vampire!namjoon, like how he was changed, what he’s like and all of that you can click here but this version is gonna be a bit different bc in the original post, you were already a vampire when you two met but for this post, you’re human :D

It had been a while since you’d found out your boyfriend was a vampire and at times, you almost forgot. He was just as human as you were, despite being several centuries old and needed to feast on blood in order to stay alive. He slept, even more than you did, because as he said, “I once stayed awake for an entire decade, I deserve to sleep in an extra hour.”

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this is the stupidest fucking post im sorry it doesnt “flow aesthetically” because youre not used to it you dunderfucks LIKE thats the only fucking reason it seems odd to you guys 

saying “he ran kilometer after kilometer” has no less ring than “he ran mile after mile” AND of course it doesnt make sense when u use the exact ratio from ur stupid fucking system to metric in titles/songs jesus christ this shouldnt make me so angry 

Academics and politicians endeavor to foment anger within the general public over “income inequality” in order to ultimately sieze power for themselves. The Conservative of course insists that the real and only problem is poverty not income inequality. The Leftist suggests that it is from the people themselves that concern over this issue originates. But the people would never even be aware of the exact ratio between their own income and some corporate executive’s income, and how that relates to the same kind of ratios in the past, if it were not for commentators on the Left making such data relevant and preaching on it in order to attempt to provoke a response. I saw an interview a while ago featuring a struggling single mother. When questioned her focus simply seemed to be upon her own situation, and she responded to the interviewers inquiries on “income inequality” with relative indifference. In response the interviewer pressed the matter further attempting to “educate” the woman on the fact that this was the issue that was probably largely responsible for her problems. 

“Income inequality” is an ideological preoccupation of elites who lust after the power to reorder society and govern us in ways that they deem as just. Poverty on the other hand is an enduring problem that has always existed within the human race, and one which we wish to continue fighting in ever more creative ways; but it is a problem that no system has ever done more to cure than the Free Enterprise system. 

some hilarious and lighthearted sterek fic recs

for those times when you need a laugh, seriously try these fics out they had me in stitches

  • Werewolf Love Songs, Vol.1 by aggybird (E, 37k) Peter decides to use the power of Barry Manilow’s music to make Stiles and Derek fall in love. Meanwhile, there are monsters and stuff, and Stiles and Derek are stupid. (Peter is absolutely ridiculous in this and I highly recommend it.)
  • What’s Up, Pinocchio? by Brego_Mellon_Nin (E, 12k) Stiles knows his dick, okay? He knows it well. He knows how long it is, how thick it is - measuring is a normal thing for a curious teenager, it really is - but somehow, that’s not true anymore. (Stiles’ dick gets longer every time he tells a lie. It’s hysterical.) 
  • Come So Hard Motherfuckers Wanna Fine Me by sadtomato (E, 3k) Stiles wakes up naked on the bathroom floor with a throbbing headache and Derek Hale taking care of him. (Everything about this fic is pure gold in silliness and cute.)
  • stiles im comin 2 sAVE u by snsk (645 words) - OMFG- IS HE HURTIN U- IS HE HOLDIN U HOSTAGE OR STH- DO U HAF TO SUBMIT 2 HIS KINKY DEMANDS- TELL ME STILES- MY CLAUS R OUT AGN (This cracks me up everytime I read it. The whole thing is in texts and the first time I read it I fell off my chair laughing.)
  • On Building an Ikea Den for an Alpha Werewolf by idek_idic (M, 14k) Senior Prom is coming up, and Stiles doesn’t have a date. Additionally, Derek has an unfurnished apartment, and no one to take him to IKEA. (Absolutely adorable).
  • Bogarted by HalfFizzbin (M, 3k) Alternate Title: “Dick Failwolf, Private Eye." (Or, Derek’s hit with a Film Noir curse, which forces him to narrate his own life in luridly-detailed prose.) Quite possibly my all time favorite pick-me-up fic, it’s absolutely glorious. Everything Derek says is hysterical in this.

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Time To Go

Request: Can you do one where reader decides to leave the Bau to go home for whatever reason. But reid chases her to the airport and tells her he loves her and it’s all fluff and 😍

A/N: This was actually a bit easier than I thought it would be. I found out how to combine both ideas I had in my head. I hope you enjoy!

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anonymous asked:

PokemonOW AU (if you're okay with that. XD if not that's fine) How would Hanzo, Genji and Mccree react if s/o had Ninetales, rumored to be the most elegant Pokemon in the world, but ends being playful, goofy and loves running around chasing random things???

Hello anon! Thank you for this adorable request… I LOVE IT! I was totally into Pokémon in my younger years and my interest was rekindled when the Pokémon go app came out, so this was a fun prompt for me! A little disclaimer, I don’t know the exact size ratio between ninetales and a person, so I tried to leave that subject as open as possible. My apologies! Hope you enjoy!


-The majestic ninetales. When he learned s/o had one, he was very impressed. It was an honor to have such a beautiful Pokémon.
-When s/o said he can see him, Hanzo tried not to get to excited. He didn’t want to spoil such an honor.
-When the first thing the ninetales did was run up excitedly to greet him, he was shocked. Surely such an elegant Pokémon would hold himself in a similar manner.
-Well, Hanzo was completely wrong. The Pokémon was itching to play with him, and even after s/o gave Hanzo the green light to play with him, he was wary.
-After a while (and more pestering from the Pokémon) Hanzo finally gave in and played with him. S/o thought it was the cutest thing, and many pictures were taken.


-Genji first learned you had a ninetales when he saw him chasing a butterfly all over the place.
-He spent time admiring the Pokémon before it bounded over to him and ran around him in excited circles.
-He laughed, which alerted s/o of his presence. When s/o stepped into view, the ninetales ran for them, but tripped on it’s own feet.
-Genji laughed and helped him up, and he happily danced around him.
-Genji spent the rest of the day with ninetales, watching him do silly, adorable things. S/o knew that Genji and nine tales would become the best of friends.


-Jesse had never seen a ninetales before, so the first thing he did was stare and take in its beauty. The Pokémon just sat down and stared back.
-Just as he was about to reach out and touch him, the Pokémon started chasing it tails, attempting to pounce on them but bringing himself down in the process.
-McCree let out a laugh. For such a majestic little creature he sure was playful.
-Of course Jesse would play with ninetales. They would play wrestle and chase each other around until they got tired.
-At the end of the day, s/o would find ninetales and Jesse passed out together, and it would be the most adorable thing ever.