I think one of the saddest things is when two people really get to know each other: their secrets, their fears, their favorite things, what they love, what they hate, literally everything, and they go back to being strangers. It’s like you have to walk past them and pretend like you never knew them, never even talked to them before, when really, you know everything about them.
I think once you move on, you start to see the person as less and you thought they where. They aren’t a hurricane of heart break or a glorious ocean any more. Their eyes don’t remind you of chocolate or the sky, and their presence doesn’t make your heart skip an extra beat. They just become a person who loved you a little less than you loved them.
I was driving home today as I passed by all the places we used to go together. It was in the midst of our bittersweet memories when I realized I took you to all my favorite places.
All my favorite places that I can never return to again.
I just want you to know I’ve realized things. I loved you. Really loved you. But you can’t keep doing the same thing over and over until you hurt me, even if you don’t mean to. And I’m tired. I’m tired of having to forgive you all the time. I hope you learn from this. You can’t just love someone and leave them hanging. You need to prioritize them, love them, give them time. You did those, but they didn’t last. It turned out all that was left of you was a shadow. I was loving a shadow of a man I used to know.
never in a million years did i think i’d write one of these about you. i never thought you’d actually leave. i guess things change huh?
i was looking through old photos of you the other day and i came across my favourite one of you. it was your seventeenth birthday and you’re with your sister, smiling from ear to ear. and i began to wonder, what happened to him? to the boy who loved me with everything he had. to that happy happy boy. honestly what happened to us? to the couple who never ever fought. to the couple who couldn’t go a day without talking to each other. i’m sorry it’s gotten to this. i didn’t want it to. i was fighting i was trying so fucking hard to fix this, to fix us. but you never saw that. and if you did, i guess my best wasn’t good enough. the fact that you’ve walked away and chosen someone else over me, hurts. i can’t believe we are here again. you choosing to love another person instead of loving me. don’t say you’re not because baby you are. look at us. we are even fucking speaking and that’s on you. you’ve taken my best friend away from me. for that i can never forgive you.
all of this aside, i hope you know on the night before my wedding if i run into you in a bar ill still walk out that door.
always and forever