ew why her

Intelligent Conversation

A new girl at work found out that I’m non-monogamous…

Her: Can I ask you something?

Me: *braces self* Sure!

Her: Have you always been non-monogamous? Do you think people as a whole are inherently monogamous or non-monogamous?

Me: *shocked* What?

Her: *repeats questions*

Me: I’m sorry, I’m just not used to people asking intelligent questions like that. Usually they just want to know if I have regular threesomes.

Her: Ew. Why is that their business?

Me: It’s not. But I guess I’d rather someone ask me questions than make assumptions…. Anyway!

6

It’s not over till it’s over.

MY SISTERS HILARIOUS REACTION TO THE JR AND SIH CHARACTERS IM CRYING XDDD
  • Hiroki: Triangle with hair.
  • Usami: Trapezoid with hair.
  • Nowaki: Pentagon with hair.
  • Miyagi: Rhombus with hair.
  • Misaki: OooOoO OMG!!! He looks like a heart but his chin is the pointed part.
  • Shinobu: [british accent] Retarded with hair.
  • Takano: EW WHAT IS THAT?!?!?!1?!111?!11?!!1/1 A hexagon with hair?>
  • Ritsu: The only normal one... Only cuz of his neck, tho...
  • Hatori: EEEWWWW. He just looks straight up ugly. He's a trapezoid rhombus. His head looks like a heart but the bottom part is flat. He's prolly thinking 'I wear your grand dads clothes, I look incredible...
  • Chiaki: Hold up- his names 'chiaki'??? As in his skins chalk???? As in he's ashy??? Geeeeez, and they say black people have ratchet names... He has an EXTREMELY pointy heart shaped head with a dash of Edward Cullen on crack... But eyebrows on fleek. Most and least amount of shade...
  • Kisa: *kisses teeth LOUDLY* He looks like Deez Nuts...
  • Yukina: I already Answered..
  • (Me: No. That's a different dude -___-)
  • Her: Oh! He looks like Hiroki!!! nO! That's Light Yagami!111!1!!!! (I'm crying XDD)
  • Asahina: *Takes on look at him* *Shakes head* *Kisses teeth* *Closes eyes* Why'd you show me this? I'm never gonna get that outta my head... Like, what iS THAT? Like WHAT ARE THOSEEEE?? He prolly buys da new 'What Are Those' every week.
  • Isaka: OH MY GAWDDD! He looks like Edward Cullen but with longer hair. His eyebrows look like chopsticks.
  • Me: *About to show her Ijuuin*
  • Her: Please don't be ugly...
  • Ijuuin: He looks like he has a serious case of Iridocyclitis and Deez Nuts and Johnny from The Shining.
  • Haruhiko: EWWWW HE LOOKS LIKE THE RHOMBUS TRAPEZOID GUY WITH GLASSES *Shudders in disgust*
  • Fuyuhiko: OOOEWEEEWEEEEWOOEWWE!!!!! He looks like Edward Cullen with a mix of Mr.Smith from the Matrix.
  • Me: There's a new season where their chins are more pointed, tho. Like, chill.
  • Her: *Kisses teeth* Don't show me that, man. Ew.
  • Me: *Randomly shows picture of Takeo Gouda from My Love Story!*
  • Her: -_________________________________-
  • 4 y/o sis: *Screams Uncontrollably*
  • Me: *Shows pics of yaoi hands*
  • Her: Ew why are they so big. What is wrong with them??>?>
  • Her: Whaaaaa? Okie... What is up with their limbs, dawg.
  • Me: So in Conclusion... How do you feel about my sons?
  • Her: *Kisses teeth and walks away* I ain't got no time foe this, fam.
  • Me: XDDDD *dies*
Worth It | Taehyung

Originally posted by hugtae

Word Count: 3,635

Genre: fluff and angst i guess

A/N: two scenarios in one day oh yeah

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(x)

I have this set as my lock screen (low key Malora!). Earlier today, I checked the time at church and my sister looked at me weird and said, “Ew. Why is she kissing her?” (Note: She hasn’t seen the movie yet, so it looks like ULTRA GAY stuff to her.) I wanted to yell so loud, “BECAUSE THEY LOVE EACH OTHER.” But all I could say was, “Spoiler alert!”

How to properly give a critique in an online art-site setting:

Steps:

  1. Ask if they are ok with a critique. 
  2. If they say no, say thank you for the reply and leave it at that.
  3. If they say yes, send them a private message with your critique.
  4. In your critique, include professional examples or tutorials better explaining what you’re critiquing (EX: The lighting in this piece looks a bit off, here’s a great tutorial showing how light sources work!)
  5. If the artist accepts your critique, thank them for your time and wish them the best with their artistic advances.
  6. If the artist rejects your critique, do not fight them on it. Tell them you understand, and thank them for their time.

Remember to always:

  • Keep your critique polite and short, without too many words. Use universal examples and resources, not personal or private ones.

Remember to never:

  • Give an unwanted critique. 
  • Be incredibly rude and pester the artist about a critique.
  • Give an unhelpful critique. This may include pointing out a flaw but not giving advice on how to fix things, or just a personal view (EX: That arm is fucking backwards omg do u not kno how 2 hand. EX: Ew, why is her hair blue, it should totally be pink).
  • Place critiques on commissions in public. Private may or may not be ok with the artist, but placing a critique in public can make the customer question the quality of the product they received, even if they’re entirely happy with it and it’s perfectly to-par with the artist’s skill.

Thank you for reading! 

5

GUYS HOLY SHIT I GOT TO HOLD A SNAKE AT WORK

Fall for you

Part 1 (x)

Part 2 (x)

Part 3 (x)

part 4 (x)

sorry guys this chapters probably rubbish because not much happens oh and I’ve made the trailer which I will post tomorrow beware it makes me want to cry because Michael feels :/

Part 5:

Michael’s pov

“Michael… Mike …. Mikey…. Michael…” I heard a soft voice whisper while shaking me lightly “wake up” she said

“I’m up” I said with my eyes still closed. “Go back to sleep” I whined as it was 8am to early for me.

“I would but there’s someone at the door and they have been knocking for over ten minutes I think it’s important” she said

“Ugh fine, I’ll be right back go to sleep” I said pulling on some slippers and padding down the hallway to the door. “What?” I groaned tiredly.

“Michael what’s the hell?” She screeched

“Oh hey, what are you doing here?” I asked looking at Louise (my ‘girlfriend’)

“Why didn’t you answer my calls yesterday I thought you would come and help me once that low life bitch threw my drink over me.” She snapped

“Oh yeah, about that” I said awkwardly attaching the back of my next to try and find an excuse. “The boys had something important to tell me so I couldn’t follow you I’m sorry” I explained

“Don’t worry about it” she sighed pushing past me and into my flat. “You have some making up to do though” she smirked walking to my bedroom. Shit.

“Wait-” I said but it was too late. She had already opened the door. All I could hear was her gasp as she must have seen Y/N.

I walked in after her to see Y/N had fallen asleep in the time I answered the door.

Louise looked at me before storming out of my room. I followed her not knowing what to say.

“It’s not what it looks like, nothing happened” I said not even knowing why I felt I had to explain. It’s not like I cared about Louise. She was a good fuck and always there I didn’t want to lose that now I couldn’t have Y/N that way. Wow I sound like a twat.

“Well it’s pretty obvious that you did something she’s in your bed for fuck sake!” She screamed

“Yeah but that’s only because she needed somewhere to stay I couldn’t exactly say no and kick her out!” I defended

“She could have slept on the sofa!” She screeched

“Yeah she could have but you don’t know how cold she was, she had probably been out in the cold for hours”

“Why did you let her stay?” She asked raising her eyebrows.

“Because she’s my friend!” I shouted

“So you’re telling me that slut who works at the bar who threw drink over me is your friend?” She screamed

“Yes, I’ve know her for ages I can’t just let her live in the streets. She’s my friend okay just a friend apart from that she doesn’t mean anything to me. ” I shouted back infuriated.

“How am I meant to believe you? She’s in your bed!” She sighed

“You’re just going to have to trust me” I said

“Fine, but if I even become the slightest bit suspicious them I’ll be over here in a flash I’m not happy with her staying here.” She said seriously.

“Okay, I promise nothing will happen she doesn’t mean anything to me like that I wouldn’t cheat on you especially with her she’s just a friend and you need to remember that” I said as she walked out of my flat.

I sighed running my hands through my hair. I hate drama. I walked back into my room hoping she was still asleep so she hadn’t heard anything we said. Luckily she was in the same position as a few minutes ago her breathing even and a slight frown upon her face as she slept.

She looked beautiful. I stared at we sleeping figure for a few minutes before I snapped out of it. I didn’t care what Louise thought though, no matter what I would always care for Y/N and I would never let her be homeless.

She needed me now more than ever and I decided I would be there for her. We might not have had the best past but now I could concentrate on just being her friend and helping her thought this tough time.

I just needed to know if she still loved me.

She groaned waking from her sleep.

“Thank you for letting me stay” she said quietly.

“No problem stay for as long as you want” I smiled at her.

She would t meet my eyes and I knew something was wrong. “You okay?” I asked as she looked downs in thought.

“Just perfect” she smiled sarcastically.

“I’ll go make some coffee” I laughed

A few minutes later and two cups of coffee made I placed them on the counter sitting on one of the stools waiting for her to come through. Seconds later the sound of her feet padding quietly down the hallway made me involuntarily smile. I felt her sit down on the stool next to me taking a sip of her coffee and sighing in pleasure.

“Have you got work today?” I asked making conversation.

“Yep I start at 5 so I’ve got ages to kill” she chuckled

“I’ve got all day so you wanna do something?” I asked

“Oh… Um I don’t want to be a burden I’ll just go to town or something” she stuttered cutely.

“We can stay here if you want?” I asked

“No it’s fine I don’t want to interrupt your life” she said

“Trust me you’re not I like having you around stay?” I pleaded

“Fine but only one more day” she said “I’ll try and find somewhere cheap to stay for the night” she said in thought.

“You’re staying here” I stated

“I know for one more day, I can’t expect you to let me stay here for longer” she said

“You will stay here until you can afford your own place I’m not letting you sleep in some run down hotel place.” I fought with her

“Are you sure? I don’t want to ruin your relationship with that girl.” She whispered

“Oh you heard our conversation this morning? I sighed

"Yeah” she whispered looking down at her hands in her lap. “I don’t want to be the type of person to stand in the way of someone’s relationship. If she’s going to break up with you I’ll go” she said

“No you aren’t leaving until I say so okay!” I said

“Okay, just promise me that when you want me to leave you’ll tell me because i really don’t want to intrude” she said

“It’s fine okay just drop it and let’s talk about something else okay?” I said trying to change this confusing conversation.

“So are we staying in or going out?” She asked cheekily.

“Um let’s go out.”

“Where to?”

“Video game shop?” I suggested

“Are you serious?” She laughed

“Pleaseee, I want to buy some new games” I begged

“Fine, just don’t leave me their by myself because I’m clueless about video games” she said

“Oh my gosh! Let me teach you how to play video games!” I squealed and she giggled cutely at my excitement. I’m glad it wasn’t awkward between us and we could act like normal friends.

“Okay” she sighed but only if you let me pick the game

“Fine, come on let’s go to the game store” I said jumping up and pulling her after me.

We were looking around the game shop for over a hours as I couldn’t decide between two games in the end I brought both of them much to the annoyance of Y/N.

“Can we leave now?” She said grumpily.

“Sure, can we just pop in to the supermarket?” I asked

“If we have too"she joked as we made out way to the corner shop at the end of my street.

Walking into the shop I went straight to the alcohol isle grabbing a pack of beer flashing my ID at the cashier and walking out with Y/N trailing behind.

"What’s the beer for?” She asked

“For when I thrash you at video games” I laughed

“Hey I might beat you, you’ll never know!” She exclaimed

“Oh trust me, I don’t think you will” I winked throwing my arm over her shoulders and pulling her into my side as we both laughed at each other for the rest of the wall home.

Once inside I ditched all my stuff in the games room setting up the controllers and stuff and putting FIFA in. I opened the beers taking a sip of mine and handing her the other one witch she took without hesitation.

It was fun actually having someone who wasn’t a guy to play FIFA with and to be honest she wasn’t that bad. But I was better obviously.

My phone rang interrupting the game as I had to pause it.

“Hello?” I asked

“Hey Michael! In coming over now I’ve got films and drink and popcorn and then we can you know take it to the bed room” Louise’s voice sounded through the speaker

“Oh um okay how long will you be?” I asked mentally sighing as I didn’t want her to come round.

“ about 5 minutes see you then” he said hanging up.

“What’s wrong? Who was that?” Y/N asked from beside me concerned

“Just Louise… She’s coming round in 5 minutes” I sighed

“Oh” she said and started laughing

“What’s so funny?” I asked confused

“I-it’s j-just you looked so serious and I thought something really terrible had happened” she laughed

“Oh, it’s that obvious how much I don’t really want her to come round?” I asked

“Yes” she said still laughing.

The doorbell rang cutting through our laughter.

“Be right back” I said leaving her sitting with her legs crossed on the sofa.

“Shit” I heard Y/N scream from the other room. Running back in to see if she was alright she looked at me before laughing.

“I have to be at work in 20 minutes I completely forgot” she said running to my room where all my stuff was so she could change.

I turned back to open the door to reveal Louise.

“Hey Mikey, I missed you” she squealed kissing me sloppily on the lips. Ew. Why do I keep her around?

Oh yeah, things got fucked up with Y/N and you needed a new fuck buddy who would stay.

“Bye guys I’ll be back at 10” Y/N said running past us and to work.
I chuckled at her as I closed the door and followed Louise into the TV room.

Y/N pov

Second day working at the bar was a disaster I dropped two glasses gaining cheers from the customers.

At least my boss didn’t care about the broken glasses and just laughed mumbling about me being clumsy but adorable.

But the wort part was two different old men hit on me creeping me out, they were regulars and my boss who’s name is Jake ended up kicking them out which I felt bad about.

I couldn’t wait to get home. Well to Michael’s so I could sleep in his warm, comforting bed next to him.

Entering the house it was quiet as I checked all rooms downstairs. Slowly walking up stairs I heard moans and manly grunts.

“Fuck Michael… More” I recognised as Louise’s voice

Well shit. This would be an awkward night I though before trailing down the stairs and on to the sofa basically collapsing on it. I tried as hard as I could to sleep but all I could hear was Michael’s manly groans as I had no doubt that he was close to his orgasm. If was at times like this where I wished that was still me underneath him, calling out his name in pleasure and making him come.

I snapped out of my thoughts plugging my headphones into my ears and turning it up full volume to block out their noises. I could tell I wouldn’t be getting much sleep tonight.

it annoys me so bad that when a thin guy is with a fat girl everyone is like “ew why is he with her” “he’s skinny because she eats all the food” and are just all around nasty about it but when a thin girl is with a fat guy people think that she’s a good person for not letting looks be her main focus or whatever and giving a good guy a chance it just basically says that fat women are gross and fat men are still human beings that deserve love and I hate it, all fat people are beautiful and deserve love

Two Times The Headache: P4 - Acts of Charity

Fandom: Satan and Me

Ship: paxalie, natan

Word Count: 3600

Rating/Content: PG-13, for swears and suggestive… suggestions? xD ffs. 

Summary: In which Natalie’s good intention to distract Satan from his stressful End of Days duties, winds up landing her a distraction of her own. *coughhack* Pax *cough*

Chapter Summary: Natalie and Satan volunteer at a charity fair. Natalie has an unexpected visitor. Awkward lies ensue. 

A/N: I think I enjoy a little too much turning you guys into the trashiest trash. Also I’m really sorry for typos and shit… I’m going to bed literally now and I wanted to post this! I’ll fix them in the morning

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