I’m the reason we can’t have nice things. Nothing happy when 8-Ball’s in the house.
I think about this probably more than I should. I know EW’s a gag show and isn’t meant to be taken terribly seriously, but how fucked up is it to see your future self in the state these guys saw them. Especially Edd, whose future self stupidly tried to kill him. I know a lot of people think Tord is Red Leader (ngl it’s fun to play with) but I tried to leave it ambiguous here.
Mm, I could probably say a lot about WTFuture. It’s one of my favorite eddisodes. I have a lot of headcanons and thoughts and shit. But I’ll keep them to myself for now.
TV: WE INTERRUPT THIS PROGRAM FOR A SPECIAL REPORT!
Matt: Aw, come on! Damn news! Always ruining my fun!
Edd: Hmm.. A special report.. that’s.. odd?
News anchor: The dangerous war criminal by the name of Red Leader is still on the loose and could be plotting something at this very moment!
Edd: Oh my god.. Who cares..
Tord: *SCREAMING INSIDE*
News anchor: However, we have gotten some information on the dangerous criminal. Recently, some very detailed descriptions have been given to us that we will share with you for your safety.
Tord: *OH FUCK OH FUCK*
News anchor: The Red Leader is a male, is of pale skin, the average height of 5′11′, has a tatoo on his right arm, a sharp nose, grey eyes, weighs approximately 162 pounds, has brown hair styled in 2 spikes which resemble a kitten and was last seen wearing a red hoodie.
Edd: Spiked hair.. red hoodie.. tatoo…?
Edd: Um.. Guys.. I’m not gonna lie.. this describes Tord.. like… perfectly..
Tord: *SCREAMING INTO THE VOID*
Tord: AHAHAHA! You guys… Come on.. You don’t actually think I’m a war criminal do you? Lots of people wear red hoodi-
News anchor: The following picture is a sketch by the police department on how The Red Leader could look like…
News anchor: If you think you know The Red Leader, please call the police department immediately.
Matt: AAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!! OH GOD!! ITS HIDEOUS! AHHH!!
*grabs tom’s shoulder*
Tom: EDD! TURN IT OFF NOW!! DEAR GOD! MAKE IT STOP!
Edd: *AGRESSIVELY CHANGING CHANNELS*
They all sigh.
Matt: Oh thank god..
Tom: The most hideous thing i’ve ever seen..
Edd: Well.. That’s not Tord.. That’s for sure. Jesus..
It’s awful. This film only takes half, at most, of what Maximum Ride is about. Let’s rhyme it off.
- The house in the mountains is supposed to be the safest and most comfortable place the flock has ever been to. They. Do. Not. Want. To. Leave. Angel gets captured when the flock are ambushed by a team of Erasers with a CHOPPER while out picking wild strawberries near their secret house in the woods, where they are not cooped up inside all the time; they can go outside and fly around freely.
- Max’s first encounter with Nudge in the film is her threatening and yelling at Nudge. Max is their mother figure; she doesn’t yell at the flock, with the exception of Fang.
- They mis-aged all the characters. Angel is supposed to be 6, Gazzy is 8, Nudge is 11, and Max, Iggy and Fang are 14. Not so in the film.
- Max NEVER had the files on their identities hidden in the house. Ever. Those were found by the flock at the school much later in the storyline.
- When the flock abandoned the house and went on the run, all 5 (not including the captured Angel) were on the way to Lake Mead. Max split from the group to help Ella (the unnamed girl who Max rescued in the film), who was being bullied by several boys, and not from some drunk boyfriend, as Ella is also only 14.
- When Max is shot, Dr. Martinez, who is a VET and not a DOCTOR, examined her and discovered Max’s wings due to the fact that the bullet injured Max’s wing as well as her shoulder. Max was x-rayed and her chip was found in her FOREARM. Dr. Martinez and Ella both know about the Flock and their avian-hybrid capabilities, and in the film, they’re left in the dark and are barely a blip on the plot-line map. Max is then made to wait at somewhere around 3 days before her wing is healed enough to fly to Lake Mead.
- When Max catches up to the flock at Lake Mead, the flock are staying in a CAVE. Not a cabin, with food and warmth and beds. A cave. Eating stolen food out of dumpsters and snacking on some chocolate chip cookies that Dr. Martinez made for Max before Max left. They learn new flying techniques from the family of hawks that nest nearby.
- It appears that all of the flock have chips embedded in them somewhere, as the School seems able to monitor their physical statuses.
- Max is meant to accidentally kill Ari in a one-on-one fight in the sewers below the School while escaping with the flock and several other able-bodied recombinant DNA kids, and Total, the talking dog. Jeb finds Ari as Max is leaving the tunnel behind the rest of the pack, and as Max is flying away, he yells after her that she killed her own brother. Whoops. Way to forget a super important plot twist.
- Max’s first encounter with the Voice, the thing that showed her all those images of her childhood and New York at the end of the film, is supposed to be VERBAL. It’s the VOICE. It speaks.
- They neglected to mention that Ari, Jeb’s son and the main Eraser character of the film, is only 7 years old, and aged physically due to his DNA being effed with when he became and Eraser.
- Angel does actually speak. She doesn’t say a word in the film until almost the end of the movie. She does actually talk.
- Max sees none of those images about her childhood or about a file. She sees images of New York and the word Institution repeated over and over. That is the only clue they have when they set out for New York.
- Nudge is a much more happy-go-lucky character than she is portrayed as in the movie, where she is an emotional, angsty teenager.
- Wtf was with the casting choices, dude? Max needs to be way move average build, not a toothpick. Toothpicks can’t hold their own in a fight against superhuman wolf-men. Fang needed long black hair. Iggy’s wings were supposed to be white, as were Gazzy’s and Angel’s. Not to mention they were all several years too old for their characters. Ew. Just ew.
Other than all that, the pacing was terrible, there was no sense of urgency to the film, and no real sense of danger in the scenes where Angel is being experimented on. The tests in the book were portrayed to be much more severe, and they were more like rat-in-a-maze type tests than intellectual, solve-the-equation type tests.
Also, the scars on their backs are complete BS. The wings fold up small, close to their backs. Not INTO their backs. They don’t just go poof. Sorry. Way to avoid any of the potentially-accurate sciencey bits, Mr. Director. I can’t believe James Patterson signed off on this bullcrap.
Hook put that engagement ring to good use during Sunday’s episode of Once Upon a Time — but probably not in the way he would’ve liked.
Struggling with whether or not to reveal to Emma (Jennifer Morrison) that he long ago killed her grandfather, Hook (Colin O’Donoghue) looks poised to come clean. Then he ends up proposing to her instead. “She puts him in a terrible position,” Morrison tells EW. “He’s coming in trying to figure out how to tell her. She’s found the ring and is on a whole different track, and then puts him in a position where he feels like he has to propose in that moment because of the circumstances.”
To be fair, Hook had designs to ask Emma to marry him before he knew he was the one to kill David’s (Josh Dallas) father, so O’Donoghue believes Hook had good intentions. “This version of Hook is remorseful for all of the killings that he did,” O’Donoghue says. “I think his full intention going into the house before the proposal is to tell Emma, ‘Look, this is the situation, I’ve done something wrong,’ and she finds the ring and backs him into a corner to propose.”
“Now, he makes the wrong decision,” O’Donoghue continues. “He should just say, ‘Hold on a second. Before we do this, I should let you know that this is the case,’ but I think, yet again, it’s a case of Hook making a spur of the minute wrong decision, which he regrets — he doesn’t regret the fact that they’re engaged, he regrets the circumstances and what went on behind it.”
Though Emma is currently none the wiser to these family woes, Morrison does believe her character is ready to take the next step with Hook. “If she wasn’t ready when she found the ring, she would’ve pretended like she didn’t find the ring,” Morrison says. “But she found the ring and she’s excited to have found the ring, and she thinks she’s doing something kind by helping him have that moment, as opposed to him trying to find that moment. Both of them are coming at it with good intentions. It just ends up being a muddy situation because he was about to tell her and then it seems like a terrible moment to tell her.”
Now the question remains of if and when Emma will discover the truth. We’ll find out when Once Upon a Time airs Sundays at 8 p.m. ET on ABC.
Paring: Roman Reigns X reader
Rating: Teen? (There’s kissing, and implied pants-off stuff)
Length: 2.2k, long
Type: Request from @m-a-t-91 from forever ago (I’ll get better at request, I promise)
Warnings: Major fluffiness, comments about weight/fat, body image issues, poor self-esteem
Summary: Roman flirts with a new person, (y/n) backstage.
A/N: I tried very hard to make the reader gender neutral. It won’t always be possible, but I’ll make sure to have a gender neutral fic here and there. As always, thank you for reading! I genuinely appreciate your comments and feed back!
Working backstage during a WWE live show was an absolute circus. You were in one place when three different people would request your presence in five other places and that was just when you arrived.
Looking through different check lists, making phone call after phone call, and trying to tune your headset to the right frequency were manageable when you didn’t have to do them all at once. But this was your job now, and you kind of just had to /do it/.
After the show started, things settled down. Not so much at one time, but still hectic. Get Charlotte here. Seth needs something there. Don’t forget the props for New Day’s entrance. That kind of stuff was your purview as a talent liaison. You were a go-fer for the superstars.
As you caught your breath in a corner near the end of the night, you realized you were standing right next to Roman Reigns. He was a friendly guy. You two chatted it up in the halls quite a bit, but he intimidated you. He was talented, handsome as hell, and huge. Well, huge compared to you.
“Hey, baby, slow down. I see they got you runnin’ again tonight.” He smiled at you. Your heart jumped a bit.
“Yeah, I’m worried they think I’m getting fat or something, making me sprint like this… kinda seems like it,” you joked, hoping you didn’t sound lame.
“I think you look just right,” he shrugged, looking you over. ‘Oh, shit. Can he not do that?’ You thought, having to hold your knees a little tighter so you didn’t just melt.
“Thanks,” you smiled, trying to think of an excuse to leave, but the show was wrapping up and after that there wasn’t much to do.
“Have you eaten?” He asked. You frowned in thought. You hadn’t had anything since lunch.
“There’s a great twenty-four hour joint right on the edge of town. Dean-o and I used to hit it up after shows here. Seeing as he’s on the blue brand now, I don’t have anyone to go with. Wanna come with me?”
“I’ve got stuff-”
“Hey, if you don’t want to go, I guess I can go alone.” He said, making his best puppy dog face at you, and damn if it wasn’t working.
“I, um,” you said, trying to think straight.
“Come on, y/n,” he pleaded. You were utterly shocked he knew your name, but a small part of you was doing your happy dance. “I won a hard fought match tonight and I just want to eat some good food across from a beautiful person.”
“I can try and find Tyler Breeze for you, but I think he already left.” You joked, defecting the compliment. Roman laughed out loud, and it made your soul sing.
“Not Tyler, you baby. What do you say?”
“Okay, that was some of the best diner food I’ve ever had,” you admitted as you and Roman walked back to his rental. You never rode with Talent, with a capital T. This was the first time, and it was just as fun as riding with the other liaisons. Actually more so. There wasn’t really any “shop talk” between you two. Other than making fun of Vince’s head set tirades. Roman confessed that sometimes when he was on commentary and Vince was going off he had to cover his smile with a hand.
“I told you it was a good place,” he said, sliding in the driver’s seat with predatory grace. “You staying at the same hotel as us?” He asked, starting the car.
“No, no,” you said, checking your email for your room confirmation. There wasn’t one. You scrolled through your emails again, and then checked all the deleted ones. “Turns out I might not have a room.”
“You didn’t book one?” He asked, turning back onto the road that led to the highway.
“I don’t know. Do you mind if I make a call? I know it’s rude in a car, but-” you were starting to freak out. It was a holiday weekend in a coastal city. If you hadn’t booked in advance you were screwed.
“I don’t mind.” He said, glancing your way with concern.
“Okay, nope, shit, fuck,” you said after hanging up with the last hotel in your destination city. “I don’t have a room. I guess I’m staying on someone’s floor.”
“Not after the day you had,” he scoffed. “Stay with me.”
You felt your whole body get hot. You could barely be in a car with this man, you couldn’t share a room with him. You would explode into hot pink flames just thinking about it too much.
“That’s very nice, Roman, but-” you tried, but he cut you off.
“No buts.” He said firmly. His voice making you shiver.
“Why?” You asked, feeling a little braver around him than usual. He invited you to dinner. Offered his room to you. You figured you were allowed to be curious at this point. You waited on baited breath for his answer.
“Because I’ve decided to be a very good friend of yours,” he said all smiley. You smiled back, feeling more comfortable and therefore impish.
“As long as it’s a one way street, Reigns, I’m fine with that.” You said, making him laugh again. You loved making people laugh, but making Roman laugh was kind of the best.
“Oh, but it’s not,” he said in mock seriousness.
“What?! I have to be a very good friend of yours back!? Ew!” You strained your voice to make it sound like a terrible request. A horrific burden. He chuckled knowingly. A smile jumped to the corners of your mouth at hearing his mirth and seeing the corners of his eyes crinkle.
“Yes. A very good friend of mine. Emphasis on very,” he turned to you just a bit so you could see him wink.
“Roman!” You cried, laughing and swatting his arm. Every inch of you felt warm with embarrassment.
“Hey! I’m driving here!” He laughed, pushing your hand away.
“And I’m just trying to live!” You giggled back, resisting his push a little. The two of you almost holding hands.
Suddenly, you realized those touches were the first time you’d touched each other. Then you realized just how flirtatious those touches had been. Was it your imagination, or had all of this been flirting? Certainly it was flirting on your part. He was so goddam handsome. But was it possible he was flirting with you? For weeks you brushed it off as wishful thinking, but now…
“So…? Music?” He asked, reaching for the media cord.
“Hit me with the jams, Reigns,” you said, thanking God that he was turning on music. That would give you time to think.
“I can’t believe you knew every word. Like, every fucking word!” Roman said, as he went to the trunk of the rental to grab your bags. You followed, smiling ear to ear. “If I hadn’t been driving, some of that would be on SnapChat right now.”
The two of you had just listened to the music for a while before it became carpool karaoke. And super fun, no judgment, no holds barred carpool karaoke, at that. Forgotten lyrics, cracked voices and all. He was so much more chill than you had originally guessed. You could just be you around him and he could just be him.
Right in that half hour space between the first sing along and arrival at the hotel, all pretense and unease left the two of you. It was nice. Easy. Relaxing. Wonderful.
“Which side of the bed do you usually sleep on?” He asked as you laid your stuff by the couch.
“The middle side, Reigns. I’m single,” you laughed.
“I’m serious,” he smiled. “I don’t have a preferred side. You can pick which one you want.”
“Wait,” you said as your mind came to a full stop. “Are we sharing the bed?”
“Do you see another bed?” He asked, quirking his eyebrow.
“There’s a couch right here,” you gestured to said couch. 'Couch.’ 'I will have couch.’ 'I will sleep couch.’ 'Couch.’ Your Brain was being really goddam helpful in this terrifying, yet thrilling, moment of confusion and realization.
“There’s a bed right here,” Roman gestured to said bed. You felt your knees go weak again. This man had some sort of power of you, and you knew what it was before, but now it was different.
Before it was muscles, and hair, and voice, and smile, and eyes. Now it was Roman. All of him, all at once.
“You want to sleep next to me? In the bed?” You asked, as he stepped over to you.
His hands gently found purchase on your shoulders, and you sighed at the touch. His broad palms and strong fingers felt right on you.
“I want to do more than that,” he spoke quietly. “In the bed.” You felt heat radiate from your whole body, but your analytical mind needed more than your body did.
“Are you flirting with me?” You asked, looking up at him.
“You can stop with the jokes now, y/n,” he chuckled. You simply shook your head. His soulful brown eyes changed in an instant. “It’s not a joke?”
“I- No? It’s not a joke. I’m not used to- People like you and people like me- We don’t…” you tried to explain yourself.
“People like me?” He said, looking a bit lost. Kind of sad actually. You had to make this better, and quick. So you just started blurting things.
“You’re very attractive. You’re like super-duper handsome, and I’m just me. I know you like me. Like who I am inside, and stuff.” Way to be articulate, you scolded yourself sarcastically. “But I’m not top notch, super-duper, crazy attractive like you. So, I guess, I just thought I was attracted to you and it wasn’t mutual. What I mean is- When I said 'people like you’ I didn’t mean vain or shallow or superficial, I mean very very very VERY pretty people. And people like that aren’t usually attracted to people like me. That’s all I meant.” You stood in silence for a moment aghast that all of that had just spilled out of you.
“Holy shit,” Roman said, putting his hands on your upper arms in mock support. “Breathe.”
“You got it,” you nodded quickly.
“To answer your question from before, yes. I have been flirting with you tonight. Basically since you started working for the company, I’ve been flirting with you,” he explained. “At first it was because of how you look, but then it was because of who you are. I like you. A lot.”
“Score,” you said blankly, making him laugh again.
“It’s stuff like that. These little things you do that just fucking tickle me. You’re a goofball. You’re light hearted. You like to make people laugh. You’re genuine and humble and smart.” The compliments didn’t stop and you did your best to just take all of it in. You knew it would be rude to interrupt him. “There are lots of very, very pretty people in this world. You included.” You blushed and look away at that, biting your lip to keep protests at bay. He continued.
“But do you know how many times I’ve met a pretty person who was bright and funny and sweet?” He asked you, and you looked at him again. He was very serious right now. Your instinct was to make a joke, but you knew what he wanted you to say, so you said it.
“Just once,” he said, brushing your hair off your forehead. “Just you.”
You didn’t know what to say. What did someone say after hearing something like that? You supposed… thank you.
You inched closer to him.
'Thank you for seeing me.’ You thought.
He leaned down to you.
'Thank you for getting to know me.’ Your heart sang.
You closed your eyes.
“Thank you for telling me,” you whispered just as your lips met. The kiss was soft, but strong. Emotions flooded your whole body as his arms wrapped around it. As your lips parted, you opened your eyes and saw he was staring at you.
“You’re welcome.” He smiled, resting his forehead on yours as you embraced.
“But, Roman,” you said as your brain became capable of thought again. “You know two people like that. There’s another person you know that’s gorgeous and smart and silly and kind,” you said, wrapping your fingers around a lock of his hair. “It’s you.” You kissed his cheek. “It’s you too, babe.”
He leaned back and smiled at you, shaking his head. “It’s just like you to say something like that.”
“Just say thank you and take the compliment,” you smiled, taking his lips again in a quick, sweet kiss. “Can’t be humble all the time, Reigns.”
“You’re right,” he smiled at you deviously. “Now let me brag about what I can do to you, so I can back it up later.”
You laughed, but quieted quickly so you could listen. Reigns was flirting with you and you didn’t want to miss a second.